“Ladies and Gentlemen” I absolutely have to tell you before I say anything at all – that you should immediately open another tab in your browser where you should find the next show time for Anderson’s “There Will Be Blood.” You should then purchase tickets and go and enjoy a movie that makes my brain spin with all of the things that I want to say about it – while at the same time confusing my mouth to the point where I kind of have a hard time putting all of those thoughts into a coherent enough string where they make any kind of sense. I hope that you will bear with me.

The movie opens in the darkened shaft of a mine where we are introduced to Daniel Plainview – played with ridiculous force by Daniel Day Lewis (yeah – I know that I just said ‘force’ – but seriously – he does a stupendously good job – so deal with it) – and it becomes apparent after an initial set of events that he is a character that is driven with such an animal determination for what he wants that there is nothing that he wouldn’t do to keep his train not only on the tracks – but also charging full steam ahead. He wants to better himself with money – because he perceives that money is the only way to climb the social ladder through whatever ruthless and systematic means that are necessary so that he can go up to the big men (the railroads and the big oil corporations) that have put a chip on his shoulder – as big men can sometimes do – and spit in their faces. It isn’t even that the big men have maliciously kept him and others at his societal status down – but even worse – because the restless rabble of the world are so far beneath their notice that they scarcely even exist. Maybe he was just struggling to ensure that he existed.

The score to the movie is by Johnny Greenwood from Radiohead (a quick sidenote: how good is that last album? There have been numerous times since getting it that I have just listened to it on a loop – until a little bird chimes in that “this is the third time that we have heard this . . .”) and even though I have heard from some that it sometimes feels at juxtaposition to what is happening in the movie – I thoroughly enjoyed it.

One of the crazier things about the movie is how despicable Plainview is. His actions are inherently deplorable – and yet – I really liked watching him and trying to figure out what was driving him to do certain things. Why the rope was so forcefully pulling him forward. Were the demons had come from that made him do the things that he did and why through all of that – even as driven for money as he was – he almost always seemed to give people what they had coming to them – there is one case where this is totally not true and another couple where it is carried out glaringly overstated ways.

Sorry if this is all convoluted – but as I explained in the beginning – there is so much to talk about. I feel like I should start a book club for this movie where we can all sit around and dissect it. Jeez – I didn’t even mention how much I liked the look of the movie . . . or the crazy couple sitting next to me that tried to ruin it with the woman fanning herself and blurting out that she was hot at half hour intervals while the guy kept saying things along the lines of “Yo – this movie is stupid” – oh how I wanted them to leave the theater – oh how badly did they bother me . . . I’m not sure that they had any idea of what movie they were going to see. Afterwards – I chippishly said to the little bird that had seen the movie with me that “perhaps they should have instead opted to go and see the chipmunk movie . . .”

“I’m Finished.”

There is a new comic on the main page – so go and check it out!

Or – if you missed last week’s – go to the archive to catch up!

We are still still still trying to figure out how to deal with getting all of the old old comics up and running in the archive section . . . but that is all that Socks will let me say.

Last weekend I went and saw two very different movies. Here is what I thought of them.

Friday: I was quick witted enough to go to the box office earlier in the day to get tickets for the big monster rummages around big city summer blockbuster in the middle of winter “Cloverfield” – which was great because judging from the huge line and packed theater – it was the movie event of the night. Directed by Matt Reeves and produced by mister “I make Lost” J.J. Abrams – himself, I have been anxiously awaiting this movie since the first trailer that I saw. It was a great teaser that gave me very little information and just whetted my appetite for this unknown movie that was coming out. I am pretty sure that it didn’t even give me a title. It was a mystery.

When I went into the theater – I knew that the reviews had been all over the board. Some people just said that it was a great ride but not heavy on heavy stuff, others said that it was a reinvention of several genres and an important film and some other people said that it was schlocky piece of junk that preyed on fresh images from actual bad things that happened all too recently in everyone’s favorite “city with a bulls-eye” – New York.

My excitement was sliding on a thin layer of nervousness . . . could this “found footage” movie live up to the great marketing build-up that had been built-up around it. Well the answer is convoluted. My biggest recommendation when going to see this movie is to sit far away from the screen – or else you are in for 84 minutes of topsy-turvy stomach vertigo. It was fun – it was a throw away – it was a movie about a creepy monster that walks around and breaks things and after the initial exposition scenes – it moved along so quickly that I didn’t even have a chance to get too annoyed.

Annoyed – you say? Well – yeah. Unfortunately – the bulk of the point of the movie was missed on me because the people that we are running around the city with for the entire movie were (in my book) just not very likable. I mean – I rooted for them, gulped, gasped and sat at the edge of my seat for them – but at no time was I ever like “After you get away from all of that monster bad times – how’s about you and me go get a beer and talk about the good old days.” Or anything like that.

Except for the hoping off of my seat a couple of times and all of the things blowing up, the best part was when at some point the screen faded to black and someone said (out-loud in the theater) “Yo, that better not be the end.” Well – don’t you worry mister coconut – it wasn’t the end. There was still a teensy bit left. And I wonder if that teensy bit fullfilled whatever you thought was lacking when you talked to the darkened screen because when the end did come there was no clapping – just a bunch of people shuffling out trying to regain their balance. Trying to figure out what their best plan of action would be if a monster ever took the detour past the city and up the Hudson river to their neck of the woods. What would they say to it? Which of the town’s spectacular eateries and entertainment options would they offer?

I have to guess that was what they were trying to puzzle out behind their bleary eyes. I heard one girl come out of the bathroom and tell her boyfriend that she had “Totally just thrown up – yo.” I figured that I had just walked out of a really super expensive and well made pilot for some big show – next season – on a cable channel (due to the violence and gore) – and I was cool with that. It was a show that I would probably watch.

Probably.