Snowflake # 216
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Dear blog,
I miss you very much. Even though there were posts last week, I have to let you know that they were old missives that I set to automatically post while I was out and about and away. Now, I am back and realizing that when I go on vacation – the world goes topsy-turvy and takes a bit of doing to get itself back together.
I promise that Monday – things will get back to normal – maybe they will even be better . . . who knows – right?! I’ve certainly eaten a bunch of terrible food that I need to tell you about – and – Robot has been itching to get Emerson back on the microphone for more Bumperpodcasts – and cripes – the last Snowflake that was put up just has Sasafras coughing – how ridiculous is that??!
Have a good next few days . . . if I get really itchy – I may have to put something up – really – really – seriously itchy . . .
Yep.
- N.Bumpercar
Drinks are too expensive – but – who cares? Because we are on vacation . . . and by “we” I mostly mean ‘me’ – as everyone else around headquarters seems to be on a constant state of vacation – anyway.
Listen and learn and love it!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Hee-Hee . . .
I did some more jokey talking shenanigan flipper-dee-flap-jacks on the stage at Tierney’s in Montclair. I’ve done other rooms – I swear – but this is the easiest one to tape at. At one room – I accidentally taped a french fry during my set – and it didn’t laugh even once.
In this set – the topic is “Bugs and things that bug me.”
Oh yeah.
Yep. That’s right. You read the title correctly.
Everyones favorite little webcomic about a penguin and his rowdy cohorts is currently taking a (well-deserved) rest. In fact – we are at the beach – falling asleep in the sun – getting pink.
Please do not fret – though . . . we will be back soon with more comics – and – absolutely keep coming to the site – as I will be doing my best to update it from far away.
There will be a comedy video on Monday – at 11 est. set your watches.
I split my toe – I stubbed my toe – I mangled and bashed and beat up my toe. Socks just stood by and watched . . . I had to hobble around a bit – and the worst part was the cleaning of the wound.
Booooooo cleaning – in all of it’s sundry forms.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
I ate a corn nut and I loved it.
And . . .
I am absolutely serious.
For my entire life, I could hear someone say the words “corn nuts” and I would feel compelled to leave the room. They sounded like old broken people – who were made up old stale beer- who lived in a beat down dive bar – who I didn’t want to meet – or know – or smell – or anything.
I feel like I need to clarify a couple of small points . . . I am a big fan of corn and I am also a fan of dive bars – so – don’t you jump all over me. Don’t you do it.
I was at a party of some sort and I saw a bowl full of little crunchy golden bits – and – I decided that the moment had finally come. I popped one in my mouth and had the initial feeling of something hard in my mouth and the taste of salt on my tongue. I bit down and was astounded at how it was literally a kernel of corn – but bigger and infinitely crunchier and tastier.
Hopefully I’m not being overly dramatic here – but – seriously – this has been a major change in my life and I’m still a little shaken by the whole thing.
My mind was racing trying to figure out if it was a healthy treat – or – if I would be able to at least pretend that it was healthy . . . but it turns out that is a losing battle – these are not healthy treats. I then decided that I needed to know more about them – like where they came from – how they were invented – and why I had avoided them for so long. I did some research for the first two quandaries and found that they were invented by Albert Holloway in 1936 and were a huge hit for bars because of their cheap salty goodness. They are made by soaking corn kernels for a few days in water – which is where the puffiness comes from – and then dropped into hot oil – which is where the crunchy crispiness and the not so good for you part comes from.
The last part – the “why had I avoided them” part is the real conundrum . . . and it is a mystery that I will only be able to solve after deep personal introspection of staring at myself in mirrors . . . and also after eating several more bags of my favorite new snack . . . the corn nut.
So – everyone – drop whatever inhibition is holding you back from these delightful golden chunks of corny goodness and get to eating them – eating them – eating them. I can almost guarantee that you will be happy that you did.
Quickly – I feel like I should point out that I have only had corn nuts from Fairway Market, Whole Foods and that bowl at the party that I mentioned before – so – I am not sure about the different levels and varieties of corn nuts that are out there in the world – but – I am thrilled that they are out there – because I aim to meet them and great them and eat them as I find them. All I know is that the corn nuts that I have eaten have given me a real twinkle in my eye and a slightly fried corn tinge to my breath.
As for me?! Well, now – I aim to learn how to create them at home.
Yes, I do.