I have been getting sooooooo tired lately. Like the more tired than I can even figure out at all kind of tired . . . the kind of tired where things start to happen.
But why would you be getting so annoyingly tired Mister Whiney-pants-everybody-does-a-lot-of-stuff and-isnâ€™t-always-complaining-about-getting â€˜sooooooo tiredâ€™ Bumpercar?
Well â€“ as a quick aside to a pretty quick story . . . I think that I have been getting so tired because â€“ and I am in no way pointing fingers here . . . but it is possible that someone has been dosing me with a bit of the knock-out juice when Iâ€™m looking the other way (you know who you may/may not be) â€“ or perhaps itâ€™s just the 4(four) hour commutes intermingled with all of the dog walking and other fun stuff on my (paper) plate . . . who can say â€“ for sure?!
So there I am on the train going into the city â€“ which is good â€“ because if this would have happened going the other way – the homeward bound way â€“ I would be in Canada by now . . . I had watched my little television show (by far my favorite pastime these days) and had 2 (two) stops (or about 23 (twenty-three) minutes to go in the commute â€“ and then the next thing that I knew â€“ everything was dark . . . and quiet.
At first I couldnâ€™t figure out what was going on â€“ or even where I was for that matter. And it totally freaked me out â€“ in the way that you get freaked out when you are a tiny kid in a department store and you get lost and nothing in the world seems right kind of way. I was on a dark and empty train and it was really odd. It then got â€œscaryâ€ when I realized that all of the doors were locked and there was no way out.
Looking back â€“ Iâ€™m annoyed not that for some reason no one decided to wake me up as they left the train â€“ no â€“ it isnâ€™t their responsibility to rouse me from my slumber . . . what irks me is that I was on a train all by myself â€“ and aside from frantically pushing a lot of buttons (which did nothing) â€“ all I did was get a rabbit beating heart and hollowly utter a few â€œUhm . . . hello . . . uhm . . .hello anybody . . . is there anybody there??â€ while pawing my way through the train . . .
Some (super) hero I am . . .
Eventually I got to the conductors car â€“ which is probably totally filled with all kinds of fun awesome â€“ and all I did was get the door to open (about 4 (four) to 6 (six) inches) at which point I waved my arm around and started yelling â€œHelloâ€ to the empty platform. At least I never yelled â€œHelpâ€ because that would have just been a bit too pitiful for words.
After a couple of minutes a guy comes down the platform â€“ stands in front of the door â€“ and says in his most New York â€“ look what kind of moop this guy is accent â€œWell â€“ well . . . Looks like somebody went and got themselves locked in the train . . .â€ as he unlocked the door. Bleary eyed with terror â€“ and thrilled to have been freed from my â€œIron Horseâ€ of a prison I said â€œYeah â€“ I guess so . . . I donâ€™t know . . . how I . . . uhm . . .how it . . . uhm . . . I . . . yeah â€“ thanks. . .â€ and then I ran ran ran all the way to work.
Now I use toothpicks in my eyelids to keep me awake during my commutes â€“ and I daydream about how if there is a next time where I get stuck on the train alone and in the dark . . . I will probably do something a bit more awesome . . . like . . . one of those awesome things that people probably do when they donâ€™t just have panic attacks when they get stuck on trains.
Yeah â€“ those kinds of awesome things . . .