I have been getting sooooooo tired lately. Like the more tired than I can even figure out at all kind of tired . . . the kind of tired where things start to happen.

But why would you be getting so annoyingly tired Mister Whiney-pants-everybody-does-a-lot-of-stuff and-isn’t-always-complaining-about-getting ‘sooooooo tired’ Bumpercar?

Well – as a quick aside to a pretty quick story . . . I think that I have been getting so tired because – and I am in no way pointing fingers here . . . but it is possible that someone has been dosing me with a bit of the knock-out juice when I’m looking the other way (you know who you may/may not be) – or perhaps it’s just the 4(four) hour commutes intermingled with all of the dog walking and other fun stuff on my (paper) plate . . . who can say – for sure?!

So there I am on the train going into the city – which is good – because if this would have happened going the other way – the homeward bound way – I would be in Canada by now . . . I had watched my little television show (by far my favorite pastime these days) and had 2 (two) stops (or about 23 (twenty-three) minutes to go in the commute – and then the next thing that I knew – everything was dark . . . and quiet.

At first I couldn’t figure out what was going on – or even where I was for that matter. And it totally freaked me out – in the way that you get freaked out when you are a tiny kid in a department store and you get lost and nothing in the world seems right kind of way. I was on a dark and empty train and it was really odd. It then got “scary” when I realized that all of the doors were locked and there was no way out.

Looking back – I’m annoyed not that for some reason no one decided to wake me up as they left the train – no – it isn’t their responsibility to rouse me from my slumber . . . what irks me is that I was on a train all by myself – and aside from frantically pushing a lot of buttons (which did nothing) – all I did was get a rabbit beating heart and hollowly utter a few “Uhm . . . hello . . . uhm . . .hello anybody . . . is there anybody there??” while pawing my way through the train . . .

Some (super) hero I am . . .

Eventually I got to the conductors car – which is probably totally filled with all kinds of fun awesome – and all I did was get the door to open (about 4 (four) to 6 (six) inches) at which point I waved my arm around and started yelling “Hello” to the empty platform. At least I never yelled “Help” because that would have just been a bit too pitiful for words.

After a couple of minutes a guy comes down the platform – stands in front of the door – and says in his most New York – look what kind of moop this guy is accent “Well – well . . . Looks like somebody went and got themselves locked in the train . . .” as he unlocked the door. Bleary eyed with terror – and thrilled to have been freed from my “Iron Horse” of a prison I said “Yeah – I guess so . . . I don’t know . . . how I . . . uhm . . .how it . . . uhm . . . I . . . yeah – thanks. . .” and then I ran ran ran all the way to work.

Now I use toothpicks in my eyelids to keep me awake during my commutes – and I daydream about how if there is a next time where I get stuck on the train alone and in the dark . . . I will probably do something a bit more awesome . . . like . . . one of those awesome things that people probably do when they don’t just have panic attacks when they get stuck on trains.

Yeah – those kinds of awesome things . . .

Probably.

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