Tag: winter

  • Bumperpodcast #152 – Back in the saddle

    Bumperpodcast #152 – Back in the saddle

    Thrilled to be back in the saddle – with heat and power – Bumpercar talks about things like snowmen cotton candy.

    He also thinks that his fridge smells funny.

    Do you know any snowmen? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – We’d love to meet them!

    All of the snowmen!

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after weather-related delays to share his relief about having heat and power restored. He humorously rambles about the bizarre weather pattern that brought snow right after a hurricane, making the episode late. Natty playfully experiments with different voices while discussing Einstein's E=mc² and reflects on the simple pleasures he missed during the power outage, like taking showers and having food in his fridge. The episode takes a whimsical turn as he contemplates what a snowman might smell like and whether snowmen would enjoy cotton candy.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have heat thank you I have power thank you and there's snow everywhere there's snow everywhere what there was just a hurricane last like last week”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm terrified that if I fill it up again it's all gonna go bad and then smell funny because that's what happens when I put food in my fridge the whole world loses power”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You know what I want to smell poinsettias and freshly cooked bread and I don't know maybe snowman cotton candy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #weather #poweroutage #rambling #science #food #snowman #winter

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it is i don't know what today it is i don't know what today it is is what i just said maybe i'm a leprechaun now i don't know i don't know what today it is oh shillily i'm not sure what tomorrow tis well that one actually kind of made sense i don't know what today tis though doesn't really make a lot of sense but i do know a couple of things one i have heat thank you i have power thank you and there's snow everywhere there's snow everywhere what there was just a hurricane last like last week i mean this this this episode is late because of what because of the weather i mean like i i can only use that excuse so many times bumper podcast but here i am talking to you with my big bumper car voice coming at you low coming at you low and i don't know where i'm coming at you low and slow low and slow i'm not sure did you notice am i i sounded i not saying that all people who talk like that sounded but i myself sounded a little bit dumb when i said that let's try it again and see if i can sound smart saying low and slow no e equals mc squared no i can't i absolutely can't do it you have to be like this well e actually equals mc uh squared and what was that noise what was that noise it was like a it was like a like i won something it's like a magical something just happened i was discussing uh how to sound smart and then uh boom boom i don't know how i can't make the noise i i am not a noise maker i am a maker of noise can you tell me a little bit giddy today bumper podcast it's because i've missed you i've missed sitting in this seat i've missed uh feeling my toes i've missed taking showers i've missed having food in my fridge i've missed eating food i've missed eating food i've missed having food in my fridge wait no there is still not food in my fridge because why i'm terrified that if i fill it up again it's all gonna go bad and then smell funny because that's what happens when i put food in my fridge the whole world loses power and then i gotta smell rotten peas and i don't want to smell that you know what i want to smell poinsettias and uh freshly cooked bread and uh i don't know maybe snowman uh cotton candy do they even eat that i don't know it seems to me like the snowman would get all kinds of sticky from the cotton candy oh man poor snowman

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  • Bumperpodcast 116 – Fluffy stuff holidays

    Bumperpodcast 116 – Fluffy stuff holidays

    Here come holidays … Here come holidays … Right down manic Bumpercar lane! Natty is pretty excited today … perhaps it’s because he has been eating is vitamins?!

    What kinds of holidays do you celebrate? Please tell us by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then – maybe we’ll celebrate it too.

    Holiday!

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    About This Episode

    In episode 116 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his unique holiday observations from Coffee Can Alley headquarters. Natty discusses his unusual holiday celebration involving an entire bag of strawberry cotton candy marketed as "fluffy stuff" that turned out to be one giant lump instead of individual snowballs. He goes on a hilarious tangent about vitamins, proposing that vitamin manufacturers should make cotton candy-flavored vitamins instead of gummies. Natty also ponders why holidays are scheduled during cold weather and theorizes that summer itself is essentially one long holiday because of the nice weather, while winter holidays exist to give people something to look forward to during terrible weather.

    Memorable Quotes

    “In the olden times everyone thought that bells every time that you heard a bell it meant that you would get a nickel and the crazy thing was is this was before nickels were even invented yet.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Why don't we just have vitamins that are in the shape or the form of fluffy stuff? Hey welcome to the midway kid what are you up to today you look like you have a vitamin d deficiency.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Summer itself pretty much a holiday because it's nice out so we're gonna keep summer where it is.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #holidays #cottoncandy #vitamins #winter #weather #food #health #seasonaltraditions

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: ho ho holidays ho ho holidays hum hum hum hum hum hey everybody it's me netty bumper car and it's a great exciting fun thrilling here day here in uh coffee can alley and headquarters and why is that well i don't know what kind of holidays you have what do you do do you like are you like hey it's banana friday or whatever or like are you like hey in the olden times everyone thought that bells every time that you heard a bell it meant that you would get a nickel and the crazy thing was is this was before nickels were even invented yet so people would hear bells and think that they were going to get nickels but not even know what nickels were but they were excited because people love holidays and people love bells last year last night me what i did to celebrate was i ate an entire bag of cotton candy by myself and it was on the box in the bag it said it said uh snowballs and it said fluffy stuff and i thought that it was going to be like little snowballs that i'd be able to individually eat like a gentleman but no in the company i mean it was in mixed company i was with other people but here's what happened is i opened the bag it was just a giant lump of white white not so fluffy stuff kind of tightly compacted uh any less delicious no clearly not obviously not because my holidays consist of eating delicious stuff delicious fluffy stuff what was the flavor bumper car the flavor was strawberry so at least i know it was healthy for me because you know i need my vitamins i need my fluffy stuff vitamins here's a weird thing i'm supposed to be talking about holidays but i'm gonna go on a tangent can you believe that around headquarters we've been taking vitamins lately a lot of vitamins and i prefer my you know the gummy vitamins so why can't i have vitamins that are in the shape or the form of fluffy stuff fluffy stuff vitamins hey welcome to the midway kid what are you up to today you look like you have a vitamin d deficiency why don't you try some of this fluffy stuff what's that feel better already of course you do because kids love cotton candy they don't love vitamins they love gummies why don't we just stick with gummies let's talk about holidays are you excited about the holidays is it cold where you are a lot of times during the holidays it gets cold i don't know why that happens i don't know why they plan it that way feels like maybe it'd be nice to have you know wait wait a minute i was gonna say it would be nice to have a holiday in a summer but here's the thing uh summer itself pretty much a holiday because it's nice out so we're gonna keep summer where it is i think they put the holidays in the summer because it's nice out so we're gonna keep summer where it is in the middle of this winter stuff even though it's not the middle we've just started it because winter is so terrible and people need something to look forward to and so they're like hey you know summer's not gonna be around for a while so why don't we give them a holiday right now love it

  • Bumperpodcast 114 – Learning, kneeling and skating!

    Bumperpodcast 114 – Learning, kneeling and skating!

    Today, we learn a word and we also learn some best practices to follow when ice skating … I don’t want to give it all away here – but – trust me when I say that this is a fun-fact-filled Bumperpodcast!

    Do you have any facts that you’d like to share with us? Email them to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and you will be more awsome than ever.

    Yee-haw!

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    About This Episode

    In episode 114 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself without a chair and kneeling while recording. He goes on a hilarious tangent about almost inventing a new word for being on one's knees, only to realize "kneeling" already exists. Natty then shares the joys and perils of winter at headquarters, where the castle's moat freezes over for ice skating races. He offers sage advice about racing dragons on ice and warns about the dangers of moat monsters and disgusting moat water. This episode showcases Natty's signature rambling comedy style as he turns simple observations into absurd adventures.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I got so excited because I thought that I just invented something where we needed a new word in the lexicon… it's kneeling but I guess it's already there man what a letdown.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If you're ever in a race with a dragon he breathes fire and steam so let him stay in front of you for most of the race and then slip past him.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We learned a word, kneeling, and we learned a lesson: don't skate with dragons.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #iceskating #dragons #castlelife #christmas #moat #headquarters

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper podcast with me natty bumper car this is number 114 of the of the year of the day this is number 114 i'm sitting i'm sitting here i'm not sitting here i'm sit how do you i'm standing but i'm not standing because i'm on my knees what is that called i know when you sit you're on your took us when you stand you're on your feet what's it called when you're oh i'm kneeling i thought i was so literally for a second there i got so excited because i thought that i just invented something where we needed a new word in the lexicon in the language and i figured uh that in whatever book holds all the words the dictionary that maybe a bumper car would show up there and it would be like this guy invented a new word for when you're on your knees it's not sitting it's not neat uh standing it's kneeling but i guess it's already there man what a letdown you would have been part of history today bumper podcast no but so i'm kneeling as the kids are evidently calling it these days right now because my chair is gone i don't have a chair i don't have a stool i don't have a bench i ain't got nothing i don't even have my two front teeth because i for christmas and evidently if you already have something and then you uh ask for it well it it cancels it out and then you get you get a piece of coal which don't tell anybody but that's part of my plan i'm really angling for the piece of coal because it's very chilly in headquarters can i tell you bumper podcast that the best part of living in headquarters which is a castle obviously is that we have a moat and so when winter comes around the moat freezes over and it's a big circle and we just get to get our skates on and just do laps and laps and laps and laps all the way around headquarters it's so much fun we have races and uh you know prizes and stuff the worst part is if you're ever in a race with a dragon he breathes fire and steam so uh you know let him stay in front of you and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and for most of the race and then slip past him because if he's behind you he's gonna huff and puff and you're gonna fall through the uh the ice into the moat and then you gotta contend with the moat monster and there is nothing more disgusting than moat water i mean that's why when it's frozen over it's okay but when you're in there and you have skates on you know just like i'm swimming but i can't swim because i have skates on it's gross so don't skate on a moat with a dragon when he's behind you you learned a lesson today listen to this we learned a word caneling and we learned a lesson don't skate with dragons

  • Bumperpodcast 101

    Bumperpodcast 101

    Sorry that this is so late … But – there is a lot of whispering going on – because Baby Bumpercar officially has a stomach virus … a yucky-icky-nasty little stomach virus. Poor little guy.

    We shall defeat this sickness – today – on the Bumperpodcast!

     

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    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 101, Natty Bumpercar attempts to record quietly while Baby Bumpercar battles a stomach virus at headquarters. The episode begins with whispered warnings about keeping quiet, but Natty soon realizes he's in a soundproof booth and can speak normally. He shares the messy, disgusting details of dealing with a sick baby who goes from playing adorably with trains to exploding goo everywhere. Natty laments the arrival of sickly season at headquarters, which apparently lasts eight months out of the year, and declares his disdain for the unwelcome stomach virus invader.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's like you've got this adorable little baby child, running around, playing with trains, talking, bibble babble, and then boom. Goo. Smelly, icky, yucky, nasty, goo.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Stomach virus, I'm not a fan. I don't like you. I want you out of headquarters. You're not paying rent. I'm sick of you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #illness #winter #babybumpercar #headquarters #comedy #stomachvirus

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Please make sure and be as quiet as you can, because Baby Bumper Car has got a virus, a stomach virus, and he's trying to sleep, so we can't wake him up, because if we do, he's liable to do the things that stomach viruses make you do, which are disgusting, and which shan't be discussed here. Disgust, disgusting. You see what I'm saying? So be very quiet. I don't want to wake him up, and you don't want me to wake him up, because if I do, it's all over.

    Natty Bumpercar: It, it's all over. It's, here's the thing, Bumper Podcast. By the way, I'm Natty Bumper Car. This is Bumper Podcast number 101. 101. And here we are, back in the sickly season, uh, winter. Which, around headquarters, is roughly eight months out of the year. Uh, we're just starting it off, but we're starting it off with a bang. That's a stomach virus. Uh, it has not migrated to anyone outside of its host carrier, and that's Baby Bumper Car. Um, I'm talking normal now, uh, normal-ish, as normal as I can, because I realized I'm in a soundproof booth, and while it's fun to whisper, I don't really have to. I'm gonna be honest with you, because he can't hear me, and I can't hear him. Huh. I wonder what he's doing out there. I mean, I wonder if he's even sleeping. I mean, if, I wonder if he's doing what stomach viruses make him do. I wasn't gonna tell you about this. It makes him explode. It makes him explode goo from, from, it's, from everywhere, on everywhere, everywhere. It's horrible. It's the worst. It's like you've got this adorable little, uh, baby child, what, running around, playing with trains, talking, bibble babble, bibble babble, look at me, bibble babble, bibble babble, what's that, what's that, and then boom. Goo. Smelly, icky, yucky, nasty, goo. Stomach virus, I'm not a fan. I don't like you. I want you out of headquarters. I want you out of Baby Bumper Car. I mean, you're leaving, you're going out already in all of this. I mean, directions, but I mean, I want you, you're not, you're done. You're not paying rent. I'm sick of you. I love the baby, though. Love Baby Bumper Car. Stomach virus, not so much.

  • Bumperpodcast 57 – Snew Year

    Bumperpodcast 57 – Snew Year

    In a somewhat lifeless return . . . Natty Bumpercar wishes everyone a “Happy Snew Year!” We find out that Cinnamon is the latest amoung the missing around Headquarters and the fact that my teeth are hurting is never brought up.

    You can only find out by listening to this weeks Bumperpodcast!

    Don’t forget to email me your questions, musings and whatnot at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Hooray!

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    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns from his holiday break to share New Year greetings with listeners, though he's not thrilled about all the snow. After expressing his complicated feelings about clocks and his genuine affection for the Bumperpodcast audience, Natty reveals troubling news from headquarters: Cinnamon the horse has gone missing. This marks the second mysterious disappearance in a short time, leaving Natty frustrated and overwhelmed. The episode captures Natty's signature rambling style as he struggles with both winter weather and the growing mystery at Bumperpodcast headquarters.

    Memorable Quotes

    “there is more snow coming out of the wazoo i don't even know what a wazoo is but i know it's full of snow and that there's snow coming out of it”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “you know what i'm not gonna backpedal from that i actually love you… well that doesn't matter what did i do that for huh”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “he's missing he's not here he's not there he's not anywhere this is the second time in a short time span that people have gone missing”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #newyear #holidays #missingpersons #cinnamonthehorse #winter #snow #mystery #headquarters

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: from what i understand ladies and gentlemen you guys have been missing me and i don't blame you one bit because i haven't been here i've been gone because i was taking a little break for the holidays that's right i was taking a little break a little snooze a little nap a little um vacation i guess from the chit and chat from the ticking talking ticking talking i'm not a clock i'm not a clock don't even pretend like i'm a clock i don't like clocks i don't like watches i don't like timers i don't like any of it what i want to tell you guys that i should have been telling you a while ago obviously because you know middle of the month almost is happy snoo year what's this new year natty bumper car well it's it's a new year that's been covered in snow snow out the wazoo like literally there is more snow coming out of the wazoo i don't even know what a wazoo is but i know it's full of snow and that there's snow coming out of it and i don't i'm not a fan of it i don't i don't particularly enjoy it i don't like it a little bit what about you guys what have you been doing did you get all of your christmas tears and wishes come true did all of your uh stockings get stuffed did your packages get packed properly with ribbons and bows and tape and paper and everything these are things that i wonder about these are things that i worry about for you bumper podcast because i love you you know what i mean no you know what i'm not gonna backpedal from that i actually love you i'm looking at you over there i'm looking at you over there in the corner i'm looking at a lot of people right now and i'm gonna say this one more time and i'm gonna mean it i kind of sort of love you well that doesn't matter what did i do that for huh you know what i uh i've been wasting a lot of time i just realized here talking about nothing uh but what i want to tell you guys is we have a major situation happening at headquarters a terrible major bad situation you guys know cinnamon right he's the horse who hangs out here he goes and does comedy with me a lot of the times and he's a great horse he's brown he has teeth he's he's a he's great is what i'm gonna is all i'm gonna i'm gonna keep telling you this he's missing he's not here he's not there he's not anywhere this is the second time in a short time span that people have gone missing around headquarters and i'm about to just give up on everything on the whole planet i can't handle it

    Unknown: you you