Tag: winter

Bumperpodcast #363 – Tips and Tricks

Natty shares some golden parenting advice with the world. Hopefully it isn’t fools gold!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar tackles winter weather woes and parenting challenges in this cozy episode of Bumperpodcast. After shoveling 6.6 inches of snow at 10 PM, Natty reflects on hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 17 people and shares the elaborate menu prepared for guests. The episode takes a heartfelt turn as Natty discusses the importance of verbalizing gratitude at the holiday table and introduces clever parenting techniques for dealing with childhood anxiety and dismissive responses. From sledding preferences to goat impressions, Natty delivers signature humor while exploring the universal struggles of parenting and holiday hosting.

Memorable Quotes

“I love to sit in front of a fireplace in a warm toasty cabin and watch as the beautiful snowflakes flitter and flutter… but then what I do not enjoy is walking in it, touching it, falling in it, getting it thrown at me, shoveling it.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I think it's very important to verbalize what you're thankful for. Maybe just saying it makes it more real in my world.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“My kid eats like a goat. He'll eat trash. Wait a minute. My kid is a kid. I was so happy because I never thought of that.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #winter #snow #thanksgiving #parenting #gratitude #family #cooking #mentalhealth

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh the weather outside is frightful but the wait that seems like a song I should know oh the weather outside is frightful but the something is so delightful so delightful hey guys it's me natty bumper car and it's it's snowed it's it's snowed why did it snow I uh don't know if you know this about me not a fan of snow I love to look at it I think it's beautiful I love to sit in front of a fireplace in a warm toasty cabin and watch as the beautiful snowflakes flitter and flutter all around the world and then they land and they look so pretty and they they uh they make the whole uh the world just look like a like a crystal castle no they make the world look like a fluffy powdered donut and better better uh but then what I do not enjoy is uh walking in it touching it falling in it getting it thrown at me shoveling it none of that stuff do I enjoy I kind of like sledding if I'm to be honest uh I uh do not like tubing tubing is where you go to a mountain you pay people money to uh go to the top slide down go to the top slide down go to the top slide down and you're like wait a minute natty that sounds like a lot like sledding and I'm like yeah there's so much more you have to pay money and then you have to wait in line and I don't know I like finding a hill finding a pizza box and just sitting on it and slide down here's the thing pizza boxes don't work I don't I've seen people like I use a cardboard to bog it I'm like nope nope that's just gonna get soggy and wet and fall apart what about if you uh hey I use a uh the lid for my trash can do you okay that sounds like a great idea you want to sit in trash can lid ah no thank you what about uh oh you know what here's my favorite actually as uh when mice sit on spoons and they can uh hold the uh the handle of the spoon and slide down that's that's my favorite that's my favorite right there I uh so we we did get we got 6.6 inches of snow I was just told which is a lot of snow and it uh it's one of those things where because we have to shovel the driveway and you have to shovel the walkway and you don't want to do it while it's still snowing because then it's just gonna snow on it again and then you're gonna do it all again no thank you so I waited I didn't shovel last night until 10 o'clock that's late and then I was trying to be a conscientious shoveler and not be loud about it so it's like I don't want this scraping noise to keep the neighbors up and so I tried to to not do that and then I woke up this morning there's more snow are you kidding me let's get on the schedule let's get on the same page all right okay man I listened to the last episode of the bumper podcast which I apologize was like last year and uh my voice was pretty amazing I even I was trying to figure out how to do it and I it's not I think I must have been sick I guess I don't know something something was going on something was in the air something was in the water I'll have what she's having I um so I have to uh the kitties or the kitties were home yesterday oh guys happy Thanksgiving did you did you give thanks can I tell you my menu I made so much food what did you make all the food all the food yes all the food ginger orange honey glazed carrots yeah I made those truffle oil uh caper lemon uh what are they called cauliflower with Parmesan oh yeah I did that Brussels sprouts with bacon and balsamic vinegar yeah I did that too there's a lot of food a lot of food delicious food we had a 17 people over and I was it was just a wonderful day it was a wonderful day y'all here's the thing that I like to do because we we host Thanksgiving every year and once the meal is out and everyone is is you know making their plates I'm the one who uh goes around the table and I force people to uh to say what they're thankful for what they're grateful for and people really get a poo-poo it they're like oh I don't want to do this but here's the thing I think it's very important I think it's it's it's very important to verbalize what you're thankful for you can you can say oh in my head I'm thankful for these things I'm thankful for the person next to you and maybe they don't get to hear it enough right maybe maybe just saying it makes it more real in my world that's what I think so we go around the table and I say you know uh what are you thankful for and then I may may I may even pepper with a couple of follow-up questions I think that's a good thing to do too I think the art of conversation is is dwindling which makes me sad but that's okay we just have to keep working at it um speaking of conversation here's a cool thing that we started doing in my house uh one of my children who shall remain nameless uh if if you say for instance uh hey buddy uh don't hit your brother because that does happen I'm not gonna lie to you hey buddy don't hit your brother the response is fine it's an angry fine you know what that means nothing fine it's a dismissive it's a knee-jerk reaction it's the first thing there fine and you're like oh no and so for years we've lived with fine and we uh and I would get really frustrated with fine and I would say don't say fine to me that doesn't mean anything that means you're just you're not even listening to what I'm asking you to do and so then I finally I came upon a really cool way of dealing with fine and that is if I say hey buddy stop hitting your brother and he says fine I say no I need you to repeat to me what I just said to you so it's kind of the same way as the thankful stuff where it's forcing him to stop and verbalize what I just asked him to do which in theory this is a theory I don't know if it's real uh make it stick a little bit better. Hey, buddy, don't do that thing. I'm not going to do that thing. Awesome, buddy. Thank you so much as you were. We've only had it for like two days, but it's so far. Fingers are crossed. It's working out. Here's another cool trick. Sometimes in my house, there's a lot of dysregulation, a lot of anxiety that goes on, which sometimes leads to unhappiness, explosions as they were. And so one of the ways that we figured out how to help with those moments of anxiety was to get the kid and you say, hey, buddy, I need you to look around the room and find five things that are orange. And he will do that, but he will go that, that, that, that, that. And you're like, nope, nope, nope. I need specifics. That orange ball, the orange dot on the clock, the orange handle of that spoon, whatever it is. Actually, orange is tough. We don't have a lot of orange things in my house, to be honest. I should have gone with red. We have a lot of red things. But it's cool because, in theory, it helps him to get out of whatever's going on in his mind and look around and focus on other things. And so it's kind of two cool techniques that we've started trying to use in the house to help things along a little bit. Now, if only we could find a way to help the puppy dog, because she won't look at anything. Hey, popcorn. Stop eating those socks. Fine. Don't say fine to me. Woof. Don't say woof to me. Say I'm not going to eat the socks. Popcorn, calm down. I need you to find three things that are blue. Woof. No, be more specific. Woof, woof. All right. Good job. I had a show the other week, and I was talking about my kids, and I was talking about how, their poor diet and how they kind of eat garbage. And I was like, ah, they're trying to get my kid to eat good food, and he just wants to eat chips. Chips all the time. He got really upset. He says, hey, I have the worst life ever because you won't let me eat chips. And I was like, that's not, that is not grounds for having the worst life ever. You have a great life. And so I was on stage, and I was talking about, I was relaying this story, and I said, ah, my kid eats like a goat. He'll eat trash. He eats garbage. Wait a minute. My kid is a kid. I was so happy because I never thought of that. And then I was just like, ah, my kid is a kid. And I went, like that, like a goat. And then I was like, ah, don't talk to your mom like that. Ah. Ah. Ah. Weird goat noises I'm making. I usually do better goat.

Unknown: Ah. Ah. Ah.

Natty Bumpercar: There we go. Ah.

Unknown: Ah.

Natty Bumpercar: Ah. Ah. Clean up your room. Ah. Ah. Put away your iPad. Ah. Ah. Find, find three things in the room that are yellow.

Unknown: Ah.

Natty Bumpercar: Ah. Man. What's tougher to raise? Human children or goat kids? I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to go think about it. Maybe come up with another weird solution. Hey, Bumper Podcast, I love you guys. I'm glad I have my voice back. I'm glad I'm feeling top notch. You're amazing. So amazing.

Unknown: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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December 3, 2019
Bumperpodcast #319 – Sprang

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Hooray for chitter-chatter! Pig talks about getting organized, and then Natty pops in, and then Rufus pops in. It’s a regular treat!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In episode 319 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig discuss the arrival of spring and their shared frustration with winter lasting far too long. Their conversation is interrupted by legal counsel Rufus T. Rufus, who sounds under the weather and launches into a rambling defense of contracts and his privileged position in society. Natty shares updates on his creative projects, including webcomics called Rants and Snowflake, before delivering an earnest message about watching out for predatory people who take advantage of others. The episode blends absurdist humor with unexpectedly sincere advice about protecting yourself and your loved ones from exploitation.

Memorable Quotes

“Here's my thing, I like winter because of christmas so I get some stuff under the tree… but then I don't want to go out in it and I don't want to drive in it.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“I was born on third base, and the ball is in left field, and I'm just gonna walk on home, if you understand.”

— Rufus T. Rufus

“There's people in the world who want to take advantage of you. Don't let them do that. They're gonna try to take your cotton candy. They're gonna try to pop your balloon.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #spring #winter #seasons #contracts #socialcommentary #webcomics #exploitation #friendship

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: now you see so what i was telling them was that you gotta take a little bit from column a and a little bit from column b and then at the bottom of the chart what's gonna happen is you're gonna those are gonna conflagrate you know i don't do a lot of math terms hey pig oh hey bumsy what's going on not much what are you talking about a little bit from column i love it when people say that you take a little bit from column a and a little bit from column b because it just makes it things sound very uh organized and very there's a logic structure that's behind it and things are making sense and you've got columns you might even have rows i don't know but i am not that organized and and and that's not how i live my life but i'm glad that there are people who who are like that so good for them well here's the thing too is like for me uh i'm not organized neither but uh i i'm not we're not doing spring cleaning but we're doing is we're springing forward if you understand so we spring the spring is sprang sprung sprung sprung yeah fine that's fine yeah okay so the spring is sprung oh so you're saying that we're not necessarily doing cleaning around here we're not cleaning house but that uh we were we were coiled up for the winter we were uh burrowed in we were uh hiding under the blankets and now maybe the sun is going to come out and the snow is going to melt away and there's going to be blue skies and then we can finally get on with our lives after this long winter is that is that what you're essentially that's what i'm saying but the winter's been so long it seems like it's been like 18 months of long winter i didn't move to mars all right mars is a terrible place to raise a pig and so i don't want to go there what i like i like seasons not seasoning i like just uh hey guess what it is it's full oh you know what's coming up next a little thing we call winter and then hey after winter uh how about we do some spring and then some summer yeah here's the thing that's four months or four seasons yeah you got it and then it is 12 months calendars no months 12 months and hold on all right now here i think i i i i like what you're screaming over there pig so let me i'm going to take over for just a second here what you're saying is there's four seasons per year uh fall winter spring summer all right cool and then there's 12 months 12 divided by four is going to it should be three i want three months of spring i want three months of fall i want three months of summer and most importantly i want no more than three months of winter yes if i can have it winter is my least favorite why because i get chilly i get chilly cold i have normally i'm walking around during the winter with five to six jackets on that's too many jackets i can't even fit through most doors too many jackets too much it's too much it's too much i can't and the kids are always like hey are we going to the pool now oh the pool's outside we can't go to the pool why not they're like i'd go swimming it's like you would you would you would freeze it would be terrible it'd be the worst thing ever here's my thing uh i i like winter because uh of uh christmas so i get some stuff under the tree we have the tree and it smells nice and i do like if i'm sitting by the window i like it when it snows because it looks really pretty like there's street lights out street lights on the street and um you can see the snowflakes flittering and fluttering through the street lights because the street lights have kind of a lot of light and it's kind of a little bit of an orange orange glow orange yeah orange yeah and it just looks really pretty but then i don't want to go out in it and i don't want to drive in it and i know you don't want to shovel it because you get sick of that it's just too much it's terrible but then you know they're like what's the groundhog he's just like hey bro you got six more weeks of winter and you're like oh okay i guess i can handle that i guess i can deal with it and then you're into week eight you're into nine and it's still winter and you're like bro bro we had a contract like we had an agreement

Rufus T. Rufus: hold on a second here this is rufus t rufus and did i hear someone talk about a contract well my friend my friend my friend i am the one around the bumper podcast headquarters who talks about contracts excuse me i got a little bit of a cold that's why i don't sound quite normal today you understand because winter has not ceased to exist and so i am still feeling a little bit cold and not feeling too well however i can and i will defend your honor in court of law and i will take that contract that that varmint has put together and i will take that contract and i will take that contract and i will take that contract and i will Take it to the magistrate, and we will make it so, so, not good, but great, if you understand what I'm saying, if you understand what I mean.

Natty Bumpercar: How you doing, Rufus? You sound, you sound really kind of sick, like you got a frog in your throat. Rufus, have you been eating frogs again? Because we told you that's not, that's frowned upon. You know, considering that I am an anthropomorphic pig, and we got dogs that talk and everything, we're asking you not to eat too many animals, because you never know. Hold on a second, I just remembered, producer from my Periscope show is a frog, please tell me that producer is not in your throat. Oh no, oh no, this is, speaking of breaking contracts, specifically in his contract, it said, do not eat me, so that's, that's against the law. You're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law!

Rufus T. Rufus: I would never break the law! You understand, I do not break the laws, I make the laws, and every so often I swoop in and I take the laws, because that, you see, you see, you see, you see, my friend, is how it works in our society. Well, we have a bit of a pyramid, and there's people that are working, there's people that are working, and then there's other people like myself that are born into a situation. That are born into a stature, you understand, where I don't have to work if I don't want to. I was born on third base, and the ball is in left field, and I'm just gonna walk on home, if you understand, and I'm going to, I know I did not hit the ball, I was hit by a pitch, which got me on the first base, and then there was a passed ball, which ended me up on second base, and then, lo and behold, one of the infielders, he, he, he, he booted the ball, which moved me on to third base. So I got here by not doing anything in particular other than being a part of the game. I was born, I was put into the game, and now I'm on third base, and I'm walking home, because that is how our society works. I was put here for a reason, and that reason is, I was put here for a reason, and that reason is, to score points, so my friend, my friend, my friend, I'm sorry if it sounds like I have a frog in my throat, but I will not be besmirched by the likes of you or your little pink friend.

Natty Bumpercar: Hey, uh, lip bro, no one's besmirching you, you gotta understand, you come into the kitchen, it's kind of a little bit… it's kind of a little bit warm. We're just recording a podcast, and you slipped in when you heard the whole thing about contracts, which is totally understandable, it makes a whole bunch of sense. However, we just gotta, you know, maybe point out to you, though, relax a little bit, we're having fun. This is a bumper podcast, so it's his show, and he's just gonna bibble, and he's gonna babble, and he's not necessarily gonna talk about anything in particular. But you're gonna listen to it, because you love it, because every week it comes out, and it's so much fun! Right, bro? Yeah, bro, of course, bro, bro, bro. Uh, yeah, so this is the Bumper Podcast, and I am Natty Bumpercar, and that is my friend, I'm turning your mics off just so you know, Aloysius J. Pig, he gave you a wave, and thank you for coming in, as always, Rufus T. Rufus, he is the legal counsel for all of us here at, uh, headquarters for the Bumper Podcast, and everything else that we do, including… We've been making some cool webcomics, uh, drawing some, uh, my little ants, I don't know if you've ever seen them, but they're cute, and they're, but they, sometimes they yell, and so, I think I have to maybe do a little bit more research, but we're calling that webcomic, Rants, now, because, ants, I saw that somebody had taken the name, Ants, for their comic, and I was like, ahhh, but I've been doing this for years, but I just never, I never grabbed it, I guess, and so, uh, I think Rants is kinda cute, because it makes sense. And then, on the sideline, we're, I'm trying to figure out how to, uh, I don't know if you guys ever read Snowflake, it was my comic, and it's so great, it's my, it's one of my favorite things I've ever done. But, I'm trying to figure out how I can make Snowflake, uh, uh, start it up again, but then I think I might also take all of the, uh, the strips, and cut them up so we, they can be on Instagram, and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. right? and I, cause I see, there's these webcomics that are on Instagram, and they're super cool, because, like, you can swipe on them to get the different, uh, the different panels, and I was like, I want, I want my little dudes to do that! I wish I had an intern. Does anyone wanna be an intern? Cause then you can sit around and you can cut up, I think there's roughly, like, 200 or so of these comics that need to be cut up. Uh, I'll pay you handsomely in experience! That's what, that's a funny thing they do in stand-up, uh, comedy, is, uh, people, so there's, I, I've talked about it before, but there's a lot of bad people, and they're like, hey, you wanna come do my show? And you're like, ah, I don't know, what, you know, and you're like, we gotta bring five people, and they gotta, you know, there's a ticket admission at the door, then they gotta buy drinks, and you're like, ah, my friends are gonna be out, like, $70? You know, do I get paid? And they're like, paid? Paid? Yeah, you get paid in exchange. You get paid in experience, and you're like, that's not paid! That's not, no, that's, you're taking advantage. Ladies and gentlemen who listen to the Bumper Podcast, what I want you to take away from this show, if you, if you will, is watch out, because there's people in the world who want to take advantage of you. Don't let them do that. They're predatory, mean people, who will see people coming down the, uh, boardwalk, walking around with their balloon and their, uh, their cotton candy, and they, they're like, that one, I'm gonna take that one for everything they've got. Don't let them. Don't let them. Stand up for yourself, alright? Don't, I'm not saying get in fights or get in a huff, but just be cognizant that sometimes people don't have your best interests at heart. Uh, and you want to go into the world, you don't want to be jaded, you don't want to be like, oh, the world's out to get me, but you've just got to go into the world. You've got to understand that, take care of yourself, and take care of the people around you, and your friends, and your loved ones, because, otherwise, who's gonna do it? Not, not random people. Random people are gonna try to take your cotton candy. They're gonna try to pop your balloon. And that's not acceptable. They're gonna try to take your bumper podcast away, and we just won't let them!

Unknown: We won't let them.

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April 12, 2018
Bumperpodcast #315 – Headaches

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Oh no! We are all full of headaches, and it isn’t very fun. But – you know what is fun? Our little ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.

To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)

Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself discombobulated after someone mysteriously steals his chair, forcing him to stand while recording. He discusses the challenges of shoveling giant snowflakes and shares a harrowing personal story about migraines affecting both himself and his son. Natty recounts an emergency room visit with his son and his own intense migraine experience that left him incapacitated for an entire day. Despite the pain, he reflects on the realities of parenting and how parents put their children's needs first. The episode offers both humor and genuine vulnerability as Natty navigates family health challenges while maintaining his signature comedic perspective.

Memorable Quotes

“Here's the thing with snowflakes so once they fall they're pretty much just like i'm just gonna stay here bro and you're like oh sorry bro but i need you to leave bro and they're like sorry bro but i'm here bro.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“When you have kids you're not even priority number you're not one you're probably not two you're probably not three you're as long as you can stand and blink your eyes then that's what you get.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“He was like i'm available friday night if you need to go to the hospital. That's very sweet like that he's scheduling his time out.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #parenting #health #migraines #winter #familylife #hospitalvisits #comedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: completely and totally discombobulated that is how i am today hello bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and why am i so flummoxed well somebody took my chair that's i'm just gonna put it out there i don't know who it was i'm not gonna point any fingers i'm not gonna like name names but my chair is gone i'm now i'm currently i'm standing and i'm talking into the microphone which is fine i feel like it's giving me a little bit of a different energy i feel like this is kind of a slightly different whoa this dude's just standing up while doing a podcast what is this stand up podcast come what i don't know stand up comp pod podmody comedy we ha wait a minute why don't we make a word we'll squish together comedy and podcasts com com comcast wait that's that's a company uh podmody it doesn't sound good it's that's you know what i'm gonna need your help with this because i can't figure out a good way i'm usually pretty good at making these uh these mashup words pod com anyway what else is going on well it's snowing outside right now those and it's those snowflakes that are so big like giant enormous snowflakes and they're kind of beautiful to look at because they fall really slowly i can see them out of my window but i'd rather they not happen because i have to then go out and gently ask them to leave my sidewalk and my uh driveway so that i can leave so that people don't fall and uh and ask me for money um here's the thing with snowflakes so once they fall they're pretty much just like i'm just gonna stay here bro and you're like oh sorry bro but i need you to leave bro and they're like sorry bro but i'm here bro and you're like bro and they're like bro it's a good conversation but they don't they don't move so then you got to get a broom or uh you got to get a shovel do you do any have you any any have you ever shoveled snow it's not fun it hurts it hurts your back me my lower back my my especially uh i've seen people if it's a dry snow they'll go out with a uh a leaf blower and they'll blow the stuff off i i'm not skilled enough to do that i don't think um so that's happening more importantly we've been struck by dun dun dun migraines really yeah poor m he's been having headaches and to the point where we uh we went to uh the emergency room we went to the doctor last week and then friday we ended up at the emergency room when we were there for so long hey guys if you ever noticed when you go to the hospital time seems to go slower yes yes i have um and he had to get a shot and here's the thing the doctor was just like how much does it hurt and he was like it hurts a lot and they were like well does it how much does it hurt enough we could fix it but we need to give you a shot so you can either you know whatever or we can give you a shot he's like give me the shot and i was like whoa the kid's asking for a shot that that means serious business is happening but that you know we got some uh some uh prescription stuff and he's been taking it and it seems to get better but then it comes back and it's back and it's back and it's back poor kid i feel terrible for him and then randomly uh monday night uh i so sometimes here's the thing guys a little bit about me i get migraines too not all the time but sometimes they run in my family uh which is great um it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and i was like oh my head hurts a little bit and then this is when i got uh m and then by the time i got to ollie's school i was like oh no i'm in big trouble here this is not gonna be pleasant right and by the time i got into ollie's school so that was in the parking lot then by the time i got into the school i was just like the pain the pain is down oh i can't like i couldn't move it could hurt to move it hurt to breathe it hurt to my eyes everything and so i had to have the teacher help him put his jacket i was just like help him jacket please and then i got got him and i held his little hand i got him to the car and i had to sit there for a solid two minutes eyes shut like palms pushing against eyes to uh right myself so that i could then uh drive back home uh it was it was it was not a pleasant experience by the time i got home luckily and randomly my wife had left her car and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die and so she uh she was in the driveway and so i was just like help children me and so she's like go upstairs and that's where i was for the rest of the night it was but it was the most pain it was so much it was phenomenal how much pain i was in and um you know what i i'm gonna tell you i i don't this is fun i'm gonna tell you about it uh as soon as we get a word from our sponsor and now a quick word from one of our sponsors i'm so busy but luckily i discovered picnic it is an organizational app for my family i can enter events into a shared calendars we have to-do lists shopping lists and even recipes so you should totally go do it go get organized just go to picnic.com slash get started to set up your account and use promo code pod pick for 30 days of picnic premium for free that's picnic p-i-c-n-i-i-c.com slash get started and promo code pod pick so go and get organized today now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the bumper podcast good luck you're probably going to need it yay so picnic thank you again so much and real quick i wanted to say so we have been using picnic that was just a little commercial but uh sponsored by whatever but the thing is it's changed my life as far as i can put all my shows into it i put everything in there right but it's a little bit because now my wife looks at the calendar which is now a shared calendar so she can see and she's like oh you're you got a lot of you've got a lot of shows coming up you you're not you're gonna be gone a lot and i'm like i know it's great right and she's like and i'm like oh what picnic oh so you know but then it's also like if somebody's like hey do you guys want to have go to this birthday party on this day i'm like one second please and i go and i go to the party and i'm like wait i'm going to meet my friends there and i'm like why didn't I maybe i was going to the party because something's there so whatever it's great i love it i love it i love it we haven't done shopping lists yet because we're not that organized in life but maybe at some point we will morph into our next forms and uh our super saiyan organized forms and we can we can utilize that um and then once the kids have phones maybe we use it because you can whatever it's great try it if you have if you if you have kids especially do it because otherwise you'll go crazy um so So here's something this is me. This is me being fun at a party. So back to my headache It was it was really cool In a horrible way because I was in so much pain that I I was telling someone I was having like this out-of-body experience where I Was kind of I was it was we this is my it was my business how my brain was coping with it It was my brain was looking at my body and it was trying to It was me it was like visually trying to move things around to make it stop and like I they were like I would see like these little pegs and and my body my brain would push a peg Which and it was like and this is what was happening and then like sometimes and not even joking They would push a button or pull a lever or whatever and then there would be like an explosion of more pain And so it was like my body was playing this game To try to fix it or whatever it was brutal and You know all through the night It was kind of off and on and I'm up and I'm down and I got up late in the night at some point And had a bowl of cereal because I was also it made me kind of nauseous and my tummy hurt But I was just like I think I have to eat some sort of food or else. This is just gonna Exacerbate the situation make it worse. So I had the cereal And and yeah, whatever I woke up the next morning and it was still there, but it was dull and it was kind of over to the side So, you know, we we move on and move on but it was it was like losing an entire day It was how it was how it felt like by the time Tuesday rolled around I was you know, it's like what Pat? What was that? I don't want I would rather not have that anymore. Have you guys ever had these things there? It's yuck yuck It's a straight one-way ticket to yuck town. So don't do them So with poor M we got to go we got to get he's got to get an MRI And I was thinking I was like, can I sit next to him in the MRI maybe cuz I my brain is hurting too they said no and then he's got a Visit with a neurologist too. So I mean it's so funny when you have kids like I'm having the same stuff He's having I would go so far as to say worse, but it's not a competition competition but you take care of the kid and you know if you can still stand if you can still get from point a to point b then hey guess what dada mama you're just deal with it you got to deal with it so much like that's when you have kids you're not even priority number you're not one you're probably not two you're probably not three you're as long as you can stand and blink your eyes and uh sign the homework's done form or whatever then then that's that's what that's what you get so and i mean it's it's fun it's fun barely existing no but you know it's he uh emerson did come in that night uh on monday and he he you know he had been to the hospital on friday and he was like hey and i was like i couldn't even talk i was just like you and he was just like i'm available uh friday night friday night if you need to go to the hospital i'm i'm available and it was i was like that's very sweet like that he's scheduling his time out you know that he's not like um tuesday wednesday i'm pretty slammed but it looks like friday i do have an opening if you need to go to the hospital dada and uh the next morning ollie uh ollie was up first and so i went downstairs is this like oh that's so that's that's why you guys are the priority okay because when i get really old i'm gonna need to make sure that you you know spare your fridays to take me to that to the hospital or to the doctor and uh and give me sweet hugs so all right that is this has been your headache update episode of the bumper podcast i hope it didn't give you a headache aha a waka a waka waka uh but anyway thank you so much for listening have a great day watch out for the snow and you know as always you gots to do it

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February 9, 2018
Bumperpodcast #314 – Groundhog Flu

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

It is a huge day at the Bumperpodcast because it’s Groundhog day! We even have a special guest on the show to talk about the fun. Then, we deliver an ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.

To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)

Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar celebrates his favorite holiday – Groundhog Day! In this special episode, Natty welcomes Mr. Groundhog himself to discuss the bizarre American tradition of letting a varmint predict the weather. The conversation takes unexpected turns as Aloysious J. Pig joins in to question the groundhog about the uncomfortable reality of being pulled from a hole by men in top hats. The episode explores the oddity of this enduring tradition, including revelations about Mr. Groundhog's school days with Punxsutawney Phil. Things get chaotic as the show veers into discussions about the flu, shopping lists, and whether the groundhog actually bites the handlers.

Memorable Quotes

“It's the day when we let a varmint come out of a hole and tell us what the weather's gonna be. It's weird why how does this still happen? It's amazing I love it.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“If you're sleeping in your little hole and some dude wearing like a tuxedo jacket type thing maybe a cape… does he have a monocle? Is it terrifying?”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“I found out if he sees his shadow six more weeks of winter and two different groundhog days saw two different things today so what does it mean I have no idea.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #groundhogday #holidays #traditions #weather #punxsutawneyphil #winter #animals

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Mr. Groundhog, Producer, Aloysious J. Pig

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey guys it's my favorite day of the year do you want to know what day it is I'm gonna tell you what day it is because you're gonna be excited too because it's a weird day it's a cool day it's a fun day and we have a special guest to talk about his experience with the day today's Groundhog Day that's right I'm not even gonna bury the lead I'm not even gonna like try to like hold it out for any longer I just want you to know that you should be excited because it's Groundhog Day it's the day when we let a varmint come out of a hole and and tell us what the weather's gonna be it's a weird why how does this still happen it's amazing I love it in this world this weird world that we live in that there's still this weird and I'm just gonna keep saying weird because it's so weird uh thing that people do that I mean it's not really commercialized really I mean it feels like it should at now it should be like groundhog day brought to you by i don't know uh umbrellas there or something i don't know but you know or just like the groundhog should be wearing patches of different uh companies or something like that um but it's not it's not it's not it's people get dressed up in top hats and stuff like that and in giant coats and there's a stage and there's a uh a box essentially and they they reach into it's it's not really i can't imagine it's pleasant for the groundhog but we're gonna find out but they reach into the body they pull this poor animal out and they're like what does he see his shadow and how do they know if he sees his shadow right i've got peripheral vision so i can see somebody coming up to my side and and maybe my set my shadows over there but i'm out of the thing they put him down if he sees his shadow then that means there's six more weeks of winter and if he doesn't see his shadow that means that spring is only six weeks away i might have that completely backwards another question that i'm probably going to need to ask the groundhog but without further ado ladies and gentlemen i'm going to bring to you my friend your friend he's going to be everyone's friend here give it up for mr groundhog

Mr. Groundhog: okay here i just need to move you a little bit closer to the microphone

Natty Bumpercar: okay good because i couldn't i couldn't really hear you so it's so nice to see you i'm sorry about the technical difficulty

Producer: i know so this is

Natty Bumpercar: you're super busy day february 2nd is when groundhog day is and it's just it's just american tradition and it was it's primarily and you can tell me if i'm right on this or wrong but they do it in a place called punxsutawney uh pennsylvania punxsutawney i love that word and there's a guy there i don't know you you okay but is punxsutawney phil that is their uh groundhog who lives in punxsutawney and he's like the most famous he's like the granddaddy he's like the big dude of groundhogs right

Mr. Groundhog: all right so you you know i'm going to school with him that's amazing

Natty Bumpercar: so i so ladies and gentlemen we're getting fun facts about punxsutawney phil in his school days that i didn't was not expecting today i did not know this was going to be an exclusive story but so uh so mr groundhog and so is it it's m-i-s-t-a like mr groundhog all right so um mike hear my questions is it super unpleasant for you to oh speaking of unpleasant hey pig what's going on i was just like who's the best

Aloysious J. Pig: hog that our bubba guy knows and who knows everything about everything and i was just like oh that's me i rolled out of bed i had a little snack oh i brushed my teeth you're gonna took a shower uh-huh i uh dried off did some powder did some lotion you know got really right uh-huh and then i got dressed okay and i came down to stay lotion's important and uh here we are okay hello talking

Natty Bumpercar: to you talking to me hey pig so uh cool well real quick right now we got to hear from our sponsors so we'll catch up in just a second and now a quick word from one of our sponsors i'm so busy but luckily i discovered picnic it is an organizational app for my family i can enter events into a shared calendars we have to-do lists shopping lists and ebooks and we have a whole range of things to do and even recipes so you should totally go do it go get organized just go to picnic.com get started to set up your account and use promo code pod pick for 30 days of picnic premium for free that's picnic p-i-c-n-i-i-c dot com slash get started and promo code pod pick so go and get organized today we now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the bumper podcast good luck

Aloysious J. Pig: you're going to need it oh that's so that's that's so nice yeah still got a sponsor it's so cool right because i was gonna tell you the snack bar yep he's uh empty right now i know you could go get me some oats perhaps just make a list some suet suet and a little bit of uh i don't know honey okay and some uh some donuts donuts i appreciate it i love all this money uh-huh get me some donuts okay back to you hog okay uh groundhog what's your name his name is

Natty Bumpercar: mr groundhog so address him accordingly

Producer: bro is he okay

Aloysious J. Pig: he's hissing he's hissing is this is this groundhog okay is he going through has he got some sort of i don't know groundhog disease or some sort of groundhog issue or some sort of groundhog problem because listen i don't need that in my life right now all right it's bad enough with a flu yeah right it's good to see you too peanut lou i haven't seen or heard or talked to you in a long time but no we

Natty Bumpercar: were actually talking about the flu and man it is brutal this year i mean we're getting notices from school we're getting notices from daycare uh i know people who have it and it sounds like maybe the worst thing ever like oh i i haven't had it in a couple years knock on wood but uh man uh the aches the pains the chills it knocks you out for like a week uh and it went around my office last year and i luckily avoided it there too uh so i i highly recommend here's what i do i don't know if you want health tips from me but i basically i don't know if you want health tips from me but i basically i uh in the morning i get up i sit in the shower i turn the shower on and i just stay there all day and if anyone comes near me i spray uh spray them with uh disinfectant because i don't want i can't i can't deal with the flu i don't want the flu i have a uh a little low grade cold but that happens you know it's it's hot it's cold outside it's snowy but the flu no thank you

Producer: yeah bumper car here's the thing the uh you know i don't want the flu i don't want the flu i don't

Aloysious J. Pig: the uh the little dude over there he's saying that he he's upset that he came all the way in to talk to you about uh groundhog's day and now you're going on and on about the flu he doesn't want to be associated he doesn't want his brand to be associated with getting the flu with the aches and the pains and the chills so he want if we could let's refocus let's re-rack the camera and let's come back and talk about groundhog day so here's i got a couple of quick questions do you mind mr groundhog

Natty Bumpercar: okay go ahead pig i'll let you uh okay okay yeah he's pig's gonna ask you a couple questions so

Aloysious J. Pig: here's the thing uh groundhog mr mr groundhog uh i'm just gonna call you uh mg from now on mr groundhog mr groundhog he's a mr groundhog you know uh uh uh mr groundhog he's a mr groundhog you know oh oh oh i'm working on a song for you we're gonna get it it's gonna blow up it's gonna be the top of the charts anyway if you're sleeping in your little hole and some dude wearing like a tuxedo jacket type thing maybe a cape i don't know does he have a cane what is this dude doing does he have a monocle is this a man who's wearing a monocle does he come to you is it terrifying do then does he do they coax you out are they like here's a carrot or something like that or do they literally like reach into the box and pull you out by your i don't know by your no i don't know what do they how are they grabbing you you ain't got no no handles or nothing

Natty Bumpercar: wow that's serious you get angry you you bite them okay well that's probably not you know it's not a great idea but it might be the most helpful for you ladies and gentlemen this has been groundhog day mr groundhog aloicious jay pig i found out if he sees his shadow six more weeks of winter and two different groundhog days saw two different things today so what does it mean i have no idea but i hope you've had a great day it's been fun hanging out with you bumper pod

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February 2, 2018
Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

Yeti stops by to talk about all of the snow, Bumpercar offends him – and then catches you up on all kinds of fun stuff!

Do you like snow? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

About This Episode

In this winter-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar receives a visit from a mostly silent Yeti who delivers bad news about more snow coming. Natty vents about dealing with blizzards, snow days, and cabin fever with his kids, who lasted only 15 minutes playing outside before retreating indoors. He shares the family's preparations for catching a leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day using an elaborate cookie-baited trap, revealing his son Emerson's newfound obsession with getting rich from leprechaun gold. Natty also discusses his painful journey learning guitar for an upcoming kids' show, culminating in a mixed reception from his children when he attempted to perform "If You're Happy and You Know It."

Memorable Quotes

“Children see snow and then they're like I want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like maybe this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“He used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that I loved more than anything because it was a mistake but I wasn't gonna correct him on it.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Emerson has become obsessed with being rich and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work, is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #winter #snowday #parenting #stpatricksday #leprechaun #music #learningguitar #familylife

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and today in studio we have a very special guest i think that's it's it's yeti a very talkative yeti hey yeti how are you doing what are you doing today what are you doing in your eye i just ran out of breath okay yeah yeah okay i get it yeah well so uh yeti is here because we had a giant snow blizzard a thing last week and or two days ago i guess and the ground is still covered in snow and i'm guessing that you're you're here to tell me that this is the last snow of the season right we're not getting any more snow please is that what you're please please please telling me oh come on really when this this weekend okay so evidently this weekend we're gonna get more snow i'm so sick of snow i'm so sick of winter i don't like it i don't like it i don't like it at all i don't like it one bit no i'm not talking about you i'm just saying winter i'm just saying winter in general yeti i love it when you come around i just can't deal with all the winter just come on buddy all right you know what i think what would make you feel better is if you went outside and played in the snow does that sound like a good idea does that sound like something you want to do does that sound like something like maybe you think you would like to do okay well that sounds okay yes exactly okay bye yeti thanks for stopping by wow that was exciting guys because he said that this weekend is going to actually be the last bit of snow and it's not going to be that much snow it's going to be like an inch or two so that's going to add on to what we have already there will be snow drifts there will be children crying going outside because they see snow children see snow and then they're like i want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like baby this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face and my hands oh now i'm wet well then i'm really gonna cry because not only am i am wet but i'm also freezing cold that's the reaction that my children had uh two days ago um let's go outside let's go outside it was like we can't go outside it's a blizzard you don't go outside in a blizzard like you don't we do you see you can't see out the window because it's all snow it's a whiteout you don't go outside in that uh which leads to pretty quickly leads to cabin fever which means your kids are just really just running into each other and running into things and falling over and freaking out all day um you know i understand the schools need to close every so often but why oh why and then so we did we went outside i don't know maybe uh 10 30 and uh played for a little bit and uh i think they lasted 15 minutes and it was good running around for 15 minutes and then the little one was like i don't want to do this i was like go back inside i'll shovel but in the big one he kept on grabbing chunks of snow and throwing it back to where i just shoveled and i was just like stop stop doing that stop daddy just i just i just and he was like i know and i was like no then why are you come on so it was good fun i um and then the next day delayed opening the bane of all parents in the world delayed opening so wait that means you're still going to school which means you're going to freak out about going to school but it also means that you're hanging out here with me and freaking out for longer abu abu but that doesn't matter snow day good time we actually had fun we played games we played chess uh pieces were thrown we uh had we had treats sweet treats like cookies and we uh built a box so here's a cool thing this week is uh saint patrick's day week i guess that's maybe i don't know when it is this week and uh i guess it's it's a relatively new thing where they try to capture the leprechaun and it's become a whole ordeal so we had we built a box and we decorated the box and it's it's a trap for the leprechaun and um that's terrible i understand that i haven't you haven't really changed your voice at all for this character okay and so this is very difficult fourth wall uh however i knew that you have a trip for me and i will not be coming to your trip so the leprechaun out okay well so i guess that was a leprechaun that just stuck his head into the studio that's what we're gonna assume that's we're gonna we're gonna pretend that i guess it's difficult to do uh accents and funny voices at the same time perfect that's fine but we did we we built a uh a leprechaun trap and um this year was actually sad because this was the first year that emerson he used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that i loved more than anything because it was a mistake but i wasn't gonna correct it on i wasn't gonna correct him on it and so it was just um he's like we're gonna catch the clover this is last year we're gonna catch the clover where's the clover gonna be is the clover gonna come the clover does shenanigans and i was just like the clover does shenanigans that's i make me that makes me happy um but now we're catching leprechauns and that's fine because it's still fun so we built the uh we built the box and the way the it works is we have it's it's a classic trap it's a box it's going to be up on one on one side it's got two sticks coming down on the front so it's kind of you know holding it or maybe one sec i think we'll do one stick so it's kind of uh positioned it's just balancing there inside the trap there's going to be a plate on the plate there's going to be a cookie uh probably a green like a shamrock cookie we're going to tie string to the uh to the shamrock cookie and we're going to tie that string to the little post that's holding the box standing up theory being that when the leprechaun grabs the cookie to eat it because how can he not so it's a shamrock cookie right there he's gonna pull box is gonna fall boom we got the leprechaun and the goal being when we capture this leprechaun he's gonna take us to his pot of gold emerson has become obsessed with being rich uh and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work is not doing well in school and and moving on in life no no no my friends the best way to get rich is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins so i will update you next week on what happens i'm very excited i'm very nervous about what could possibly happen in my house this morning he when he was going to school this morning he was just like saint patrick's day is tomorrow and i was like i know that means we have to set up our trap he's like yeah the trap like he was really into it he was really excited so that's that's big news other big news around headquarters i uh i think last week i was telling you that people are having me asking me asking me to work on uh doing a kid show and so i i part of a kid show that i'm doing is to do a couple of songs so i wrote one song so far and i got the idea for another one um and but i need a guitar i need to learn to play the guitar i've been trying to do it for 20 years and i couldn't do it and so over the last few days like 20 minutes a day sometimes even more uh i've been trying to learn guitar and oh my fingers hurt so bad on my uh what is this left hand my pointer finger my ring finger and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my left hand and my right hand finger the tips of them they hurt i didn't know that i'd heard oh it's gonna hurt a little bit no it hurts a lot bit and now every time i touch anything my fingers are like oh i hope he's not making us play the guitar but i'm not i'm just standing i just put my fingers down it just hurts but it's cool man this is the first time so i figured out all these chords there's like uh wait well first let's see it's e d g b i forgot how the strings go well here's the chords i learned and i learned an e chord an a chord an e minor an a minor a g a d a c a d7 a d7 what so i've started to figure all these chords out and the more i do them the more my fingers seem to kind of know what they're supposed to do um and then so last night what i did was i was like all right let's try to take all these things that i'm starting to figure out and then let's put them into a song and so what song did i figure out um i went i went and i went i went and i went and i found the chords for oh if you're happy and you know it so it's like a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum like that and um so i practiced that a lot last night and then this morning i got up and i practiced it a few times and i was like kids gather round and uh which for them means that they have to they pretend they're their jackets like they actually get on me and they hold on like their coats like i've made like i'm cruella deville making coats of my children for me and i was just like no no no back away back away dada has something amazing to show you and they were like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and they were like no and i was like the strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum actually it wasn't like that it was like strum string string string and ollie got excited emmer was just like no no no and i was like please emmer was just like no no no and i was like please

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March 16, 2017