Tag: walking with Socks

  • Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    I split my toe – I stubbed my toe – I mangled and bashed and beat up my toe. Socks just stood by and watched . . . I had to hobble around a bit – and the worst part was the cleaning of the wound.

    Booooooo cleaning – in all of it’s sundry forms.

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a painful and humorous tale of stubbing his toe during an evening walk with his dog Socks. What starts as a simple mishap quickly escalates when Natty discovers blood everywhere after his big toe takes on the sidewalk in a brutal TKO. He vividly describes the shock of pain, the confusion of his dog, and the awkward four-block journey home hobbling on his left heel. The episode captures Natty's signature storytelling style as he recounts the worst part of all: cleaning the wound at home only to discover he's out of band-aids.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and you can see things that aren't there necessarily.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in the ring.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #injuries #dogs #walking #pain #humor #everydaylife #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car or as i like to be called these days natty bumper wait natty bumper stubbed toe natty stubbed toe i stubbed my toe last night yesterday it was a rough day it was a bad day yep i was walking socks it was pitch dark outside and out of nowhere i was wearing flip flops too i should let you know that out of nowhere boom like the whole world went bright like a flash of light mostly in my head but it was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and it's you like you can hear things you can see things you can see things you can see things you can see things that aren't there necessarily and i had to stop i had to pause took a deep breath all right everything's all right stubbed my toe kind of hurts gonna keep walking oh so he kept walking socks you know he didn't know what was going on you know he always gets confused when stuff happens like he just looks back at me like i thought we were on a walk not on a hang out here so i uh so i keep walking maybe i mean i maybe got another 20 feet or so and i was just like well this is this does it hurts it doesn't feel good this doesn't feel right so i took my uh phone my flashlight phone thing and i held it down by my uh by my foot and uh ooh ooh yuck ooh yuck gross there was blood everywhere there i mean there was blood blood everywhere my big toe had been demolished it had i mean if if we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in in in the ring so then i'm four blocks from home i have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home and then that's the worst part of it all because you gotta clean it out you gotta put some water on it which hurts you gotta put some peroxide on it which hurts you gotta put some neosporin on it which doesn't really hurt kind of makes it feel better and then what you're out of band-aids well you're out of luck

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  • Nervous night walking . . .

    I just got back from a truncated walk with Mister (Irving Brown) Socks.

    It was a walk that started with my diligent adherence to duties with the taking out of a bunch of recyclables and then it became a slightly more troubled walk as I stumbled deliriously through my typically ire-raising gauntlet of spider webs. The walk was going downhill. I should have read the signs. The signs in the webs.

    The night was so splendidly pleasant that I was all ready to make up for the days short-short walks that we had taken earlier . . . and then woosh! One police car whizzed by from behind me. Then, at the corner, I saw another patrol car go by and then, in the other direction, two more – with one continuing straight and the other taking a left away from me.

    I was starting to get a bit antsy – because even though I evidently live on a normal thoroughfare for Montclair’s finest . . . This was getting a touch out of control.

    From behind me – a police car came up – and I could feel it slow down to check me out. But then, as we got to the corner, it zoomed off. Three more zipped by in all different directions and then, just as soon as I crossed the street, one of the cars pulled over to the curb.

    “Excuse me sir.” came the serious voice from the dark of the car. “Uh. Yes?!” I said back – very composed – considering the fact that I wanted to really get to the bottom of all of the cars flying around . . . Who were they hunting? What did that person do??

    “Did you just come down that street?” He asked. And again I replied with my completely self-unassured. self-questioning response of “Uh. Yes?!” Then – as he was asking the next question – I heard the little radio say ” . . . wearing a white shirt . .. ” I was wearing a white shirt and was starting to get needlessly skittish. The radio voice continued ” . . . dreadlocks . . .” Well – friends – I don’t have any of those – so I figured that I was in the clear.

    The policeman got even more serious than he had been and asked if I had either seen anyone or walked past anyone while I was walking around . . . And even though those two things weren’t necessarily mutually exclusive . . . I pushed my brain past that speed-bump of a paradox and gave him a stern “No, sir.”

    This was when I took my opportunity to present my boldest of queries . . . I took a shallow breath and said “Should I . . . Uhm . . . Go back home?!?”

    He looked at me . . . and with measured weight said “Yes. You. Should.”

    So – when the man with the gun suggests that something be done . . . Guess who jumps to the front of the line to make sure that it is done with a quickness?? Yep – Yep – You guessed it . . . Me. That’s right!

    The night and the walk back was’t very far – but – I kind of allowed my imagination to run freely and yowza did I contract some serious case of nerves! I kept looking over my shoulder and hopping at every shadow that Socks was itching to investigate . . . But nothing happened.

    A couple of streets away – I could hear little bits of siren and the occasional flash of blue light . . . But nothing beyond that. So now I go to sleep wondering if everything in the world is okay . . . And wondering what the person wearing a white t-shirt with dreadlocks maybe did . . . And why they did it . . . Or – maybe – if something was done to them – and the police are looking for them so that they can help . . . Or something.

    The possibilities make my mind race . . . Which is exactly what I am not looking for before I lay my head down to sleep.

    Pleasant dreams all.

  • Cat I saw

    Here is a picture of a cat that Socks organized while we were on our walk today.

    I think that it is supposed to represent something about how nature is creeping up on us – even while we sleep – so we should wipe it out before it gets to us.

    Of maybe it is just a cute cat. I’m not too good with symbology.

    photo