Tag Archive for: varmit duty

Holy bonanza!

Today – at the zoo – where I work – at my new job – there was not one – but two bears that climbed all the way up our “newly designed/built” facade.

A facade is a fake front.

I got to work way too late to see the first one. It really does take far too long to get from the employee parking lot to the employee entrance now that they have stopped letting us use the trams – “In an effort to save on gas.” But was able to share the thrill of the bright yellow banner that he left behind with all of the construction workers that were “hardly” working across the way. Heh heh.

Soon after the Window-Washer show had come and gone . . . uhm . . .what’s the “Window-Washer” show – you may be asking? Well – it is those guys who come down on their trolley-ma-jig to laugh, point and take photos with their camera phones while pulling down the only real splash of color in our zoo working day. All of which happens right before they ascend up to the above – where window washers live – in some magical land in the clouds where they probably get to show off all of the cool banners that they have collected over the years and high-fiving at how ridonculously swell the photos that they managed to capture with their camera phones are.

I am a bit jealous.

But – probably not as jealous as they are – since – while they were (maybe) napping after expending all of their energy grabbing their prized yellow banner – I got to experience the thrill of trying to watch a second bear that had decided to climb the ceramic rungs. He had evidently lost some sort of bear bet – is what I heard – and boy but weren’t we reaping the benefits!?

The second bear didn’t even have any kind of banner at all . . . just red pants – and an unwavering desire to rest at almost every floor as he moved up – up – up to the waiting arms of New York’s finest – who seemed like they were probably going to take him out for some sort of celebratory beverage – or something. I never was actually able to see him in person – just on the television – but I think that I would probably have gone out with all of them to revel in all of the excitement and talk about banners – and whatnot.

Yeah – probably – maybe – definitely . . . that is – if those blasted hedgehogs hadn’t started to act up . . . seriously – between me and you – there is seriously nothing worse in the world than cranky varmit duty.

Oh – and to keep the bears in the building – I am thinking of suggesting some sort of attack-squirrel system – or something . . .