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A future version of Natty appears and sends the crew into a real mystery. What is the ‘everything that happened before everything happened’? Is Doodle Poodle a seer of the future? And – what is that odd smell?? Stay tuned as we dig in to the what not!
The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
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Bumperpodcast #388 Season 2
Well we would. What year is this place. What decade. I don’t i don’t. I’m very confused right now. Don’t understand what’s happening very leery. Everything is going very blurry who hi. I’m Aloysius j. pig who you haven’t seen you in a lifetime. It’s been so very very long. Wait a minute. I you Natty bubbas. It’s me. I don osteen yelich show show old in your voice. Sounds on your friend and you kind of smell ovid funding and what. I always just. I was sitting in a cave. The bright lad flashed. I was here. i don’t recognize this place. I recognized you. Of course. But i don’t know when i am old. Okay so when you is is twenty. Twenty twenty twenty one twenty. What twenty twenty one. Twenty two hundred twenty one years you. You’re we’re still in age or accounting the us in one by one. Yeah ervin’s of course we were gonna count the as i don’t mean no same. Come from we count. The is based on quadra dramatic equation variable relations still understand with that we sell a bunch of gibberish and it sounded like you took the biggest words pop the squish them altogether to nine. Now you count us one by one. It’s like twenty twenty twenty twenty one twenty two twenty three tetra. I twenty five twenty four. I don’t know but you know what i’m saying. Like one zero one two one two one. That’s one two one two one two. Guess you talking in code now. Have we every crossed that rubicon talking in code. Now now i ain’t never cross no rubicon that is I always just counted awaited. I count one two one toe. One two set a fine foods. Twenty twenty one. Do you want some water. You have water stills his grasp we got one oh tweet from to sink from the test refrigerator still refrigeration and water in this time wonderful wonderful. I think i’ve i’ve made it back to where. I’m supposed to be back to where i can fix everything before. Everything happens. everything everything happened in. I ain’t understand skew them everybody. It’s myself and myself and myself. Mr rufus t rufus in charge and large and in the room. And say hello to you real soon. So i’m wondering Aloysius j. pig lou. Who just man is right over here. Who is he and why is he in here. What is he talking about fixing any way in any who and how rufus it’s me it’s not a bumper the future. I suppose i’ve been told. I was in a cave cave. There was a very bright light. And i can’t breathe just talking to me. You have your own lawyer representation. Your lawyer from the future of hasn’t were because he can’t just come in here and start spouting and giving me words and spinning yong’s and tell them stories because all of this can be used as a court of law. You understand sir after understand that you all my lawyer you were my lawyer before everything happened and then everything happened. you understand. You guided me up until you’re very very end. What are you saying. Rufus rufus t rufus went to someway. I heard that as well. And i’m back in a way little bit here because i sounded a little bit like a threat that sounded a little bit aggressive. If you will. And i of course don’t appreciate a man such a jew telling me anything about all as it were and i think it’s all rufus you know. It’s it’s wonderful to hear your jibber-jabber. It’s been so long it’s been so lonely. I’ve been by myself for a long time with nothing. No one to speak to know under speak of.
It’s been very difficult like it was very difficult. So when you say no one does that. Include like no peixe. What are we talking about. Pig pig to be found neria pig to be heard. It was the worst times now does sound pretty to church it. I’m getting a little uncomfortable. Telling me a little bit more about this cave in which you were was. It’s a regulated caves. Should you have been with. A handrails. Was at slipper. It’s all was the any kind of batson thing and vermins. When i’m asking any kind of dangerous issue because we might be able to build this up into aches against the caves it’d be not a bumper gop Guided by rufus st rufus versus caves. A cave. money goes real sand could be a real windfall for us. My friend rufus i understand and i appreciate your trying to toe the line in and find your loyally lawyer loyally in this as you do. You’re an expert at all of these things i declared. The players is much larger than litigation against holes in the ground. This is something much larger than all of us. This is everything that happened. And then everything that food house on a confusion. A lot of talk about kiva. If maybe i could make some drawings piece of your shins and then we could figure out exactly what happened. Maybe some hampshire’s nice okay. yes. I don’t know how to pursue i’m flummoxed i i’m fading i need some rest. I haven’t talked many many many times. Okay so i mean we can give you some place to rest until we figure this stuff out of course but i think you’re gonna wanna take a shower because you also it’s i’m this is coming from a pig. I am pig aloe issues. Of course i’m going to say it’s it smells like you. Also having bathed in many a time time at times as potentially possible. We have no water to sip. We have no water to drink rehab at all. So there’s the only way we are able to bay this much like a baby where we find a nice dry patch and we just powder all cells down with it and so if just hopes to keep the flies off. There’s a lot of flies or i come from. And it helps to keep us protected from some of the things that are out there now. This is a lot of vagaries. You’re putting out the everything that happened with everything. The things that out there. That has a cave blue line. We don’t know anything about anything. Big wiz Natty Bumpercar again. My friend alex com name. I have not heard in a long time spoken allow. Yeah we understand. Grandpa the whatever we’re gonna say future bumper car or whatever dystopia in bumper car bumper car from the in time i dunno Bumpercar after the everything is everything. That’s we got it. I think roe v is asking way than Natty familiar with is is currently aims precisely correct alloway says thank you sir for stepping in good clarifying and quantifying and explaining what i was trying to think if we can get natty over here maybe this dog can make some drawings as he does and can we can introduce track to can bring him on understand. The space time continuum willocks for in the same room together. We can’t see we can’t be near each other. It’s just a possible. Can you talk on the phone to send a letter what we’re trying to. We’re playing this by all right. Adorable little pig is and we’re trying to figure it out and you’re not super helping on if i’m to be honest from the be real. I saw harry.
Why you’re talking. Nice look looks like you did an excellent. this is a wonderful i. i wasn’t bad but to me. I expert as it. Tears looked like a cave to me. Blue light right. That’s one of this dog drool. This out wasn’t there. He’s he’s captured the moment perfectly. This dog is some sort of a into the future. I’ve come from. We have to work. We have to figure this out. We have to solve this mystery and ladies and gentlemen. I think that’s why it makes sense to call this. The official start of season to- of the bumper pod cased three hundred eighty eight episodes in the making. What is the everything that happened. After everything happened what is future pump whereas regular bumper doro portal into the future and win. Am i going to get some lunch very very hunger right now. I would also like some lingerie. I haven’t eaten and yeah in a time. That’s what time we get it. We understand it’s a rough place. Came from someone is going gonna stay here and to pick me up an you know i’d love. This has been a nonproductive presentation executive producer. Frank qablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial notary but its license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit. Non dash productive dot com.
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About This Episode
In episode 388, the Bumperpodcast launches Season 2 with a mysterious twist as a confused, older version of Natty Bumpercar emerges from a cave claiming to be from the future. Rufus T. Rufus and Aloysious J. Pig struggle to understand this disheveled time traveler who speaks of 'everything that happened' and warns that the space-time continuum will explode if he meets his present-day self. Doodle Poodle mysteriously draws an accurate picture of the cave despite never having been there, suggesting he might be a seer. The episode ends with our heroes deciding to solve this mystery while the dystopian Bumpercar desperately needs a shower and lunch.
Memorable Quotes
“We count the years based on quadradramatic, equational, variable relations.”
— Rufus T. Rufus (Future Natty)
“It smells like you also haven't bathed in many a time, a time, a time. And this is coming from a pig. I am a pig.”
— Aloysious J. Pig
“Cave money goes deep. It could be a real windfall for us, my friend.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
Topics: #timetravel #sciencefiction #mystery #seasonpremiere #alternatetimeline #caves #friendship #comedy
Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle
Full Transcript
Rufus T. Rufus: I don't understand. Where are we? What year is it? Where is this place? What decade? I don't understand. I'm very confused right now. I don't understand what's happening. It's very bleary. Everything has gone very bleary.
Aloysious J. Pig: Hey there. Who? Hi. I'm Aloysius J. Pig. Who are you?
Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, Aloysius J. Pig. I haven't seen you in a lifetime. It's been so very, very long.
Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute. Are you Natty Bubbica? Yes. It is me. I don't understand. You look so old, and your voice sounds all different, and you kind of smell a little bit funny.
Rufus T. Rufus: I don't know what's going on. Aloysius, I was sitting in a cave, and then a bright light flashed, and then all of a sudden I was here. I don't recognize this place. I recognize… You, of course, but I don't know when I am or where I am.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. So, when you is, is it 2020, 2021, 2021, 2021?
Rufus T. Rufus: 2021. So we're still in an age where we're counting the years one by one.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Of course we are. How else are we going to count the years? I don't mean no sense.
Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I come from… We count the years based on quadradramatic, equational, variable relations. I do understand what that means.
Aloysious J. Pig: That was all a bunch of gibberish. It sounded like you took the biggest words that popped into your head, and you squished them all together. No, no. You count years one by one. It's like 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, etc. That's just 25. 25. 24. I don't know, but you know what I'm saying. No. It's just like one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two.
Rufus T. Rufus: It's one-two, one-two, one-two, and you're talking in code now. Have we crossed that Rubicon, and we're all talking in code now?
Aloysious J. Pig: No. No. I ain't never crossed no Rubicon. I don't know what that is, even. I was just counting the way that I count. One-two, one-two, one-two, etc.
Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, okay. Oh, fine, fine. So it's 2021.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Do you want some, uh, water? Oh! What? You have water still in this time. You sounded raspy. I was… I'm very… Yeah, of course we got water. No! We got it from the sink, from the tap. The sink?
Rufus T. Rufus: Or from the refrigerator. You still have refrigeration and water in this time. Wonderful. Wonderful. I think I've made it back to where I'm supposed to be. Back to where I was. Back to where I'm supposed to be. Back to where I can fix everything before… What do you mean?
Aloysious J. Pig: Everything happens. What is everything and everything happening? I… I ain't understand.
Rufus T. Rufus: Now, excuse me, everybody. Uh, it's, uh, myself and myself and myself, Mr. Rufus T. Rufus in charge and large and in the room and saying hello to you real soon. Hello. So, I'm wondering, Aloysius J. Pigaloo, who this man is right over here. Rufus. Who is he and why is he in here and what is he talking about fixing anyway and any who and any how? Rufus, it's, it's, it's, it's me. It's Natty Bumpercar from the future, I suppose, is what I've been told. I was in a cave. You see, I was in a cave and there was a very bright light and I… He can't be just talking to me. Do you have your own lawyer representation? Your lawyer from the future, as it were? Because he can't just come in here and start… Spouting off and giving me words and spinning yarns and telling stories because all of this can be used in a court of law, you understand, sir? You have to understand that you are my lawyer. You, you, you were my lawyer before everything happened and then everything happened. You understand? You guided me up until your very end.
Aloysious J. Pig: His very end? What are you saying? Rufus. Rufus, Rufus T. Rufus went away somewhere?
Rufus T. Rufus: No, I heard that as well, Aloysius, and I'm backing away a little bit here because I sounded a little bit like a threat. It sounded a little bit aggressive, if you will, and I, of course, don't appreciate a man such as you telling me anything about anything or, as it were, anything at all. Rufus, you, you don't know, it's, it's wonderful to hear your jibber-jerk. It's been so long. I've been so lonely. I've been by myself for a long time with nothing, no one to speak to, no one to speak of. It's been very difficult.
Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like it was very difficult. So when you say no one, does that include, like, no pigs? No. What are we talking about here?
Rufus T. Rufus: Nary a pig to be seen. Nary a pig to be found. Nary a pig to be heard. It was the worst of times. Now, it does sound pretty tragic, and I'm getting a little bit uncomfortable, so tell me a little bit more about this cave in which you were. Was it a regulated cave? Should you have been with the handrails? Was it slippery at all? Was there any kind of bats or anything, any vermin is what I'm asking, any kind of dangerous issue? Because we might be able to build this up into a cave. We might be able to build this up into a case against the caves. It'd be Natty Bumper Cop, guided by Rufus T. Rufus, versus caves. No. Cave money goes deep. Rufus. It could be a real windfall for us, my friend. Rufus, I understand and I appreciate you trying to toe the line and find your loyally, loyally, loyally angle in this as you do. You're an expert at all of these things. I declare, I do declare. Of course. This is much larger than litigation against holes in the ground. This is something much larger than all of us. This is everything that happened and then everything that happened.
Doodle Poodle: Um, hey everybody, it's me, Doodle Poodle. Hello. I was hearing a lot of confusion and a lot of talk about caves. And I was wondering if maybe I could make some drawings based off of your descriptions. And then we could figure out exactly what happened. And then maybe that could give us some answers.
Rufus T. Rufus: And then I… Doodle Poodle, you're still here?
Doodle Poodle: Yeah.
Rufus T. Rufus: Okay. Yes. I don't know how to proceed. I'm flummoxed. I'm fading. I need some rest. I haven't slept in many, many, many times. Okay. So, I mean, we can give you some place to rest until we figure this stuff out, of course. But I think first you're going to want to take a shower because you also, it's, and I'm, this is coming from a pig.
Aloysious J. Pig: I am a pig. Aloysius, of course. I'm going to say it's, it's, it smells like you also haven't bathed in many a time, a time, a time. Is this, is this potentially possible? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Is this possibly possible?
Rufus T. Rufus: We have no water to sip. We have no water to drink. We have no water at all. So there is the only way we are able to bathe is much like a baby bird where we find a nice dry patch and we just powder ourselves down with it. And so it just helps to keep the flies off. There's a lot of flies where I come from. And it helps. It helps to keep us protected from some of the things that are out there. Now this is a lot of vagaries that you're putting out. Everything that happened with the everything, the things that are out there. There's a cave. There's a blue light. We don't know anything about anything. Pig, where's Natty Bumpercar? Again, my friend, I am Natty Bumpercar. It's a name I have not heard before. I have not heard in a long time spoken aloud, though.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, we understand, Grandpa, that you're whatever. We're going to say future Bumpercar or whatever, dystopian Bumpercar, Bumpercar from the end time. I don't know. Bumpercar after the everything is everything. That's, we got it. I think Rufus is asking where the Natty that we're more familiar with is currently at.
Rufus T. Rufus: Precisely correct, Aloysius. Thank you, sir, for stepping in. Thank you. And clarifying and quantifying and, you know, explaining what I was trying to do. I think if we could get Natty over here, maybe this dog can make some drawings as he does. And Natty can, we can introduce him. No. And we can try to. You can't bring him here. Don't you understand? The space time continuum will explode if we're in the same room together. We can't see each other. We can't be near each other. But. It's just impossible.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Can you talk on the phone or send a letter? I don't know. I mean, we're trying to figure, we're playing this by ear. All right. Adorable little pig ears. And we're trying to figure it out. And you're not super helping on, if I'm to be honest, if I'm to be real. So. Hey, everybody.
Doodle Poodle: While you're all talking, I drew this nice little doodle of what maybe the cave looks like. And I don't know. Did I do a good job?
Rufus T. Rufus: You did an excellent, this is a wonderful cave drawing. I mean, I wasn't there, but to me, to my eye, expert as it tears, it looked like a cave to me. So with the blue, I see the blue light right there. That's wonderful. How did this dog draw this? It's, he wasn't there. He's, he's captured the moment perfectly. This dog is some sort of a seer into the future where I've come from. We have to work. We have to figure this out.
Aloysious J. Pig: We have to solve this mystery. And ladies and gentlemen, I think that's why it makes sense to call this the official start of season two of the bumper podcast, 388 episodes in the making. What is the everything that happened after everything happened? What is future bumper car? And where's our regular bumper car?
Rufus T. Rufus: Is doodle poodle really a seer into the future? And when am I going to get some lunch? I'm very, very hungry right now.
Aloysious J. Pig: I would also like some lunch. I haven't eaten in. Yeah. In a time that for a time that we get it. We understand. It's a rough place where you came from. We'll get you some lunch.
Doodle Poodle: I'm just going to stay here and doodle. But if you're going to pick me up a banana, you know, I'd love one.
Unknown: Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt.
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