Tag Archive for: Stuff I Ate

A new burger place by the name of “Five Guys” which touts “Famous Burgers and Fries” recently opened up over in the Edgewood shopping community thing. I decided that there was probably no better way to use my time than to eat there and eat there and possibly eat there before you even did so that I could be in a greater position to give you the low down.

I had heard of this – okay I have to take a quick pause here – I was going to call this a “mini-chain” because I thought they were the little guys sticking their burger making heads into new and exciting markets – but then I went to their locations page and found that there are actually 134 (one hundred and thirty four) stores all the way from New York to Florida – oh well – I guess that gives me liberty to skip any history that I had with the place and jump right into how it was.

Oh – how I do enjoy the tasty taste of the tasty treats that I have had both times that I have been there. When you walk in, the company colors of white and red are everywhere – including on the large menu that hangs over the two cash (money) registers which are flanked (ha – a meat joke!) by an open kitchen. The menu is pretty simple – there are burgers, hot dogs, fries (cooked in yummy peanut oil), drinks and evidently the “veggie or grilled cheese” for all of those out there.

On my first visit I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with mayo, relish, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions, sauteed mushrooms and ketchup – a couple of things to know – the regular burger is 1/2 (one half) pound – all of the toppings (including the fried onions and sauteed mushrooms – but not the bacon or cheese) are free – and if you have to wait in line awhile – there is a bin full of free peanuts ready to be shelled and eaten on the spot. Both times I also got a drink (the coke is so good and perfect – for my tastes – heavy on the syrup but with enough bubbles to tickle my fancy – if you don’t mind me saying) and an order of the fries (the cajun version – which just adds a sprinkle of flavor magic – hooray). I felt like I was going to pass out from all of the eating – in fact – it is highly possible that I did nod off a couple of times before “finishing” the burger and taking home a bag of fries.

And by putting “finishing” in quotes – I should point out that I in no way actually finished the burger – my stomach is tiny . . . like the stomach of a baby bird.

The second time I got the “little” version of the same burger – which was only 1/4 (one quarter) pound of perfect. Everything was as great as the first time – it was no fluke at all . . . I will do it again – but not before I go and get another Ghetto Burger from my pal “Miss Ann” so that I can better judge who will be the burger champ of my heart – and by heart – I may mean the one that eventually stops it from eating too much red meat – and bacon and cheese and fried onions and sauteed mushrooms and flavor magic – hooray!

My stomach may just end up turning into a battlefield for true burger supremacy . . . a gastrointestinal battle the likes of which hasn’t been seen in these parts in some umpteenth times . . . but I am willing to sacrifice myself for that very cause – and see it through to the bitter end. Onward – my trusty stomach. Onward and with my complete lack of exercise – surely – outward . . . we ride.

I am trying trying trying to clean out the cupboards here at Bumpercar HQ for the sake of making the house a bit lighter in it’s loafers (so to speak) and to save a few pennies here and wherever I can. So last night – I convinced myself that it would be a good idea to rummage around and see what I could put together – food wise/eating wise/a science experiment – let’s see what this does to me wise.

The dinner that I ended up with consisted of a 1 1/2″ (on and on half inch) cube of blue cheese, a tiny wedge of brie, some olives that had a best if eaten by 04/06 label and some “lightly salted” breadstick things. What a feast it was . . . I could barely contain my excitement as even the dog (“Irving Brown Socks”) decided that the meal wasn’t worth his time as he went to hide in his “Canine Camper” – where I think that I heard him listening to some old Slim Whitman recordings – ahhhh Slim . . .

After “drizzling” some olive oil and lightly seasoning the “sticks of bread” I gave up and started digging a little deeper into the old pantry – where low and behold I found a box of brownie mix! So I was making brownies – and making brownies – and making brownies, but the batter looked mighty stiff – so I referenced the package to see what the problem was . . . and everything checked off fine – everything had been added. So into the oven they went for 32 (thirty-two) minutes. The brownies came out and were fine . . . but that was it – they were just fine – not “Hooray for brownies for making my life a tremendous success!” (which – by the way – is a lot to ask of any brownie) – just plain and fine.

After eating a couple of the boring brownies, I went to clean the kitchen up a bit. When I grabbed the brownie box . . . a nice little packet of Hershey’s chocolate syrup tumbled out (like the little rascal that it was) . . . I had missed the key ingredient in my brownies . . . I had missed the chocolate syrup . . . I had missed the sweet sweet gooey brownie love.

I then spent the rest of the night plotting against the chocolate packet that was sitting on the kitchen counter mocking both my brownies and everything that I hold to be true and dear . . . it was a long and fruitless night . . .

So last night I was out and about – usually whenever I leave the house I tend to go “out and about” – or if I am feeling particularly Canadian then I may sometimes also go “oot and aboot” – but that is besides the point – so let’s ignore all of that and get back to that that that there point.

It was around a quarter after ten in the evening when I found myself at one of the local “doughnutaterias” – what a treat it is to watch the big machine make the little doughnuts – but more on that some other day – for right now one important thing to point out is that I noticed that the doughnuts seemed to be a bit “cakey” on the line (or maybe a tad overcooked?!) – they just looked a bit off . . .

Anyway – I ended up with a plain doughnut with chocolate frosting and multi-colored sprinkles and a “quick-slam” jug of milk – or something like that. Once in the car – I pulled out the doughnut and started to eat it – and that was when it hit me . . .

As much as I would love to think that there was something intrinsically weird or wrong with my “cakey” doughnut . . . I had to ask the question – am I past the point of doughnut goodness?? And don’t get me wrong about it being too “sweet” or anything – I drank 1 1/2 gallons of serious sweet tea yesterday – but maybe it was too sweet or something . . . Is this just a bump in the road – or something more final?

Tonight – I think that I’ll take a bath in simple syrup to find out – or maybe the dog will . . . maybe – just maybe . . .

But seriously – it wasn’t just any old rice – it was fairly-super-great rice . . . it needs a bit of tweaking – but I think that it’ll get there. I dropped some cilantro, garlic, scallions, salt, pepper, butter, lemons and limes into the rice cooker – and let it go go go . . . I need to figure out how to get all of the flavors to like each other and then how much of which and what to put in there – but it’s just a start . . . a tasty treat of a start.

And that was just the “entree.”

On the side we had a mixed greens spring salad mix thing – which could have been anything – the real excitement came from the Makoto Ginger dressing. So so so so so so so good – it’s almost like being at one of those Japanese steak houses – which are some of the best places in the world . . . except without all of the steak, shrimp and fun . . .

The fun came from watching Cannonball run . . .

Rice – Ginger – and Sammy Davis Jr. as a priest in a red Ferrari oh what a treat!!