Tag: stress

Natty Bumpercar: right off the bat i'm going to apologize for the audio quality of this episode i'm holding a glass of sweet tea that i made so that's kind of loud and then to my left there is a dryer that's drying clothes and then to its left there is a washer that is doing a deep wash deep clean of some bedding some bedding that i found in a box and then on the other side over there there's a uh there's a dehumidifier that's running now most of the time this stuff isn't running when i'm doing the podcast because i have some sort of you know idea on how to make decent sound recordings but today uh i can't avoid it because i was supposed to record yesterday but i didn't get a chance because there was a spring concert so now we're in full-on weekend mode which means crazy noisy very sorry but i didn't want to miss out on a week i didn't want to miss you i mean i miss you every day that i'm not recording so i didn't want to miss you even more if you get my drift if you catch what i'm saying if you know what i know what i know um so wait the bedding that's an important story in the garage we have boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff that was in a storage facility in georgia this is where my comic books were this is where my baseball cards were and but more importantly there's boxes of ephemera there's boxes of stuff what kind of stuff like old photo albums old newspaper clippings of me old art show stuff like stuff from a million years ago that i didn't even know i still had but uh one of my kids is obsessed because he can see baseball cards i don't care about baseball cards i just worked in the store and they would sometimes pay me with baseball cards but he sees these cards he doesn't care about the cards he doesn't care about the cards he doesn't care about the cards he doesn't care about the cards he just wants to be able to take them to school to trade them here's a tangent last week he was at school a girl gave him a uh a pencil case like a zip up pencil bag it was green clear full of stuff he then took that pencil bag and i and he traded it to a kid for ten dollars and then i was like wait what is this none of this makes sense how did you get the pencil case and he was like well i gave her two smelly markers one watermelon one licorice and i was like okay so the impetus is two smelly markers for which you then got pencil case full of stuff no no no i then put my stuff in there okay so you you took a pencil case that you would swap for two markers put your stuff in it and then sold that to a kid for ten dollars all right i mean like in my head i'm like that's amazing like that's some serious something gumption i guess to to be able to turn that deal around but then you know i was like i can't let you keep this kid's ten dollars like this i i can't what what do we know and it's like a kid a friend of his and i'm like it's kind of taking advantage of because i'm what do you take so i had to go to the parent and i was like hey explain the story and she's like i'm not going to okay i was asking him about that ten dollars because that was his change from the plant sale and i was like okay gave her the ten dollars back and i was like hey while we're at it maybe you can give me the pencil case back so that i can give it back to person number one oh we don't know where the pencil case is what what what what are we doing so now my kid's losing his mind because he had brokered this deal and i swoop in take his ten bucks and he doesn't get the pencil case back so he's he's out he doesn't have anything he's like that was all my stuff in the pencil case and i was just like ah ah and then i had to find the kid's dad with the pencil case and i was like hey situation here's what it is and he was like oh weird the way i heard it was there was an elephant pencil holder that uh your kid gave to my kid i didn't know about any pencil case i was just like this is this bonkers this makes no sense at all anyway so he likes to take stuff to school and trade it or at least show it off look what i got yeah well i got this now and he's been obsessed with these he doesn't the boxes of baseball cards i don't even know what's in there their things are 20 30 years old i don't care i just know i don't want him messing with them just in case you know they're gonna pay for his college that's not gonna happen i understand that they're worthless pieces of paper but who knows there's no it's whatever so i was like all right because he's been on me on me on me baseball cards baseball cards baseball cards so we went to the garage this week and i took some boxes of baseball cards out and i'm like here you can look through this stuff and as he's looking through that stuff i'm going through old pictures and then i i mean i haven't even fully recovered from the nostalgia the wave of nostalgia that that overwhelmed me and it was just like oh my god look at all these people that i used to know look at you know like look at these people look at that guy i used to you know hang out with all these people and like pictures of my uh graduating my art show that was i i can't remember the name of it but i just saw it but it made me so happy and all the art the paintings and the drawings and i look so different so at some point uh i'm gonna i had to put everything back because he kind of lost his mind because i wasn't just letting him have every single thing in the box uh but i'm gonna go through and i'm gonna post them around so you'll get to see what i looked like 100 years ago which is very exciting for everyone um on a side note so nostalgia right recovering from that uh i i have had this weird thing that's been happening to me and um i don't i don't want hey i can see how you're looking at me i don't want you to be worried i want you to calm down it's okay it's gonna be okay so you know i do it happens that's fine uh you know especially the weird weather changes if it's raining outside there's mold if there's pollen whatever you know i get i get uh allergies and then allergies turn into a little cold and a little cold turns into bronchitis what's up asthma so good for me so this week has been that but on a side note i've been getting this other weird thing this is physiology physiology not virology that is different this is physiology the left side of my face so from nose over to the left uh not all the way to the ear it's just uh cheek and into mouth and in the jaw it gets tingly fuzzy and i can't feel it what i know scary a little bit don't go on the internet and ask why your face is tingly you don't want to know what things could be happening and you don't want to know what's going on and i've had a lot of situations where i've had a lot of your physiological progression, I don't even know if I'm saying the right word, I'm gonna feel like I am, and when I went to the doctor the other day, because I couldn't breathe, like I just couldn't breathe, and she gave me this doodad that I had to breathe into, and so you put your mouth on it, and she's like, all right, take a deep breath, and blow, and I was like, I can't take a deep breath, I can barely stand without passing out, but I scored a 300, and she was like, okay, and then she made me do it three times, second time I got a 340, and she's like, oh, wait a minute, 340, that's not bad, meanwhile, I'm gonna hold on to the wall, because this is now a competition, and I want to give it my best blow, third time, back right under 300, because I had spent myself, I had, so all I had, I had given to get that 340, and she's like, all right, so normal people, normally, you're gonna be up in the like 500, 550 range, maybe even 600, and I was just like, so on. I'm half of normal, breathe-wise, and she's like, basically, basically, and then I start going over all this, this litany of other things that are going on, weird stuff with the old body, and I was like, my face, can't feel it, the left side, tingling, should I be worried, but I don't even know if she took a note on it, because she was so overwhelmed by all the other ridiculousness, and so now I'm like, all right, body, I'm gonna draw a line in the sand, and, and, and, um, if, if not better by this date, then I have to go back to the doctor, which I don't want to do, I don't want to be like a, you know, every time I walk in the doctor's office, they're like, bumper car, and I'm like, hey, everybody, I'm broken, I don't want that, I don't need that, I've got friends in other places, like sandwich shops, and donut parlors, and whatnot, all right, I'll keep you posted, because it's weird, it's a weird thing, it's not a comfortable thing, I'm not, happy about it, uh, I've been told that there's too much stress in the life, too much stress with a kid, too much stress with a job, slow it down, calm down, I'm not good at that, in fact, when you tell me to slow it down, to calm it down, you know what I do, I double down, I do more, it's a bad way to do, if people say slow down, you know what you should do, maybe slow down, maybe just slow down, I don't know, so that's what's going on with me, tonight though, uh, Mrs. Bumper Car, is it Ms. Bumper Car, Mrs. Bumper Car, I don't know what her name is, um, we'll call her Mrs. Bumper Car, and I, uh, we're going out, we're going out on a, on a, on a double date, on a hot double date, we're gonna get Ethiopian food, and, and, and it's very exciting, because you know what we don't do, and we're going out with people we've never gone out with before, people who might, in fact, be listening to this podcast, I don't even know, very exciting times, and one of them is a comedian, so this is, this is weird, I don't go out with people, I don't, we don't go out, we don't go out, you know, we don't see people, we don't do things, so this is a big evening for us, who knows how it's going to turn out, it's close to the house though, so, you know, if we need to, we're gonna, we have a sign, we'll throw the sign, and then if we have to split up, then we know we can meet back at the house, so, you know, and the kids, the kids are gonna have a babysitter, that's all they care about, they're like, wait, you're not gonna be here, no, they're like, perfect, that's all we want in life, is for you guys to leave us alone, and we're like, weird, that's all we want in life too, is for you to leave us alone, but they won't do it, I, today, it's, so it's a rainy day, we've had a lot of rainy days around, and we decided, we were like, what are we gonna do with these kids, we can't just sit at home, because they go crazy if you just sit at home, so we went to a mall that has, like, a playground, and we went to a mall that has, like, a playground, and we're like, all right, guys, you hang out in the play area, run around, we'll grab some lunch, boom, you're eating out, you'll love to do that, and then after that, I was like, hey, maybe we'll go get ice cream, I don't want, one of them said, I don't think I want any sugar right now, I was like, what, okay, so we went to some junk store, gave each of them five bucks, I'll go buy some junk, you know, and you're like, oh, man, your kids are spoiled, and I'm like, yes, they are, but 10 bucks is not a lot to pay. To hang out with you, like, if you go to a movie, you're talking $800, if you go to a, whatever, arcade place, you're talking $400, everything costs so much money, so $10, nothing, nothing, and meanwhile, you know, we get back to the car, and then they're, like, haggling with each other, like, oh, I wish you would have gotten me $8 worth of stuff, I'm like, you didn't have to get anything, and then, and then the other one was like, you know what, I think I want some sugar now, and I'm like, come on, all you guys just do is take and take and take and take, can't leave me alone, you guys are stressing me out, can't even feel the left side of my face, what's going to happen next, I'm going to lose the right side of my face, that's my favorite side of my face, guys, don't worry, though, if I lose my face, I'm still going to be your best friend, right?