Tag: storytelling

  • Bumperpodcast #380 – Yumyah

    Bumperpodcast #380 – Yumyah

    Where in the world has Natty been? Well, he’s been inventifying – that’s where!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns after a long absence to share his exciting new invention: Yum-Yah, a yogurt-like treat with a fantastical origin story. He explains his creative recipe development process, combining multiple online recipes to create something unique. Natty shares the whimsical tale of two explorers who discovered Yum-Yah from the ghost of a ghost in the hills beyond the abyss, and announces plans for various flavors including lemon curd, key lime, cranberry, chai, and mango lassi. Between inventing Yum-Yah and doing heavy yard work around his raised garden beds, Natty has been keeping busy in Coffee Can Alley, though he promises to return to regular podcast episodes soon.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Deep in the hills beyond the abyss lives the ghost of a ghost who has granted one wish when two grumbly explorers got lost in the bla that ghost blessed their bellies with the taste of yum yeah”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I like to find recipes online and I'll usually get five or six sometimes eight or ten of the same recipes and then what I do is I look through the list I find all the common ingredients”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “So far I've put down 1,200 pounds of rocks. That's more than half a ton. Hot hot sun. But you know what I did when I was done? I came in and I had a delicious taste of yum-yah.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #food #invention #creativity #recipedevelopment #yogurt #gardening #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what i listen i know i've been gone for a long time i got a good i got a good reason it's not even an excuse i promise i've been i've been out in the wilds of the world looking and hunting and and i invented something i didn't really invent it but i kind of hell i would with help i was able to discover something and and i think i'm ready to share it with you i know i've been gone for a long time i can't believe i just looked and i saw the last episode that i that i that i put up was about the glasses remember the glasses it was so long ago i still don't have glasses i've been back to that store twice i have like a relationship with them now i i walk in and they're like hey no glasses and i'm like cool i was here for a plunger you know it's so it's but it's good because we're friends now we can all just laugh and laugh and laugh at how uh how i can't see but we're past the glasses we've moved so far past the glasses we're into a whole another world now where i'm inventing stuff and i and i'm following through on it a lot of times my brain just kind of makes stuff up and i'm like yes that's it and then i forget about it but then mostly because i've been prompted and prodded and forced by other people um is is is that i i've kept at it and and a lot of times left to my own uh you know whims and desires i just kind of uh big idea move along big idea move along i mean the fact that i've recorded 300 this is number of these podcasts is astonishing to me that means i must really enjoy doing it that might i must really enjoy you and you know what i do and i miss you when i don't do it i i get i start to get guilt and then i and then uh i start to get like oh what have i done what if what if i just never do it again that'd be sad would you be sad i would anyway so here's what we invented it's called yummie what's yum yeah all right well here's a fun story that i wrote to see if you can follow along i tend to say it pretty quickly but i'm gonna i'm gonna try to slow it down for your uh for your listening ears deep in the hills beyond the abyss lives the ghost of a ghost who has granted one wish when two grumbly explorers got lost in the bla that ghost blessed their bellies with the taste of yum yeah what's yum yeah you say well not to downplay but it's creamy and dreamy and not to sound unseemly but i highly recommend that you try some so trust the explorers who have decided to share this yogurty treat from the ghost from nowhere they've even swayed the heart of coffee can alley and now yum yeah is made near the brook by the jungle of the town beside marshmallow valley it is made with love so hold on to your wish because the ghost of the ghost invented yum yeah for bliss try yum yeah varieties as well as yum yeah flavors and enjoy this perfect eating blend that everybody savors yum yeah guys we've done it we've invented something delicious i mean you know we followed a recipe we tweaked a recipe so here's what i like to do uh is i like to find recipes online and i'll usually get five or six sometimes eight or ten of the same recipes right from different places and then what i do is i look through the list i find all the common ingredients right and so and i build uh a recipe out of common ingredients right those are your your base those are your backbone that's the structure the foundation that your recipe is built on right and then i start to look at all the other little things like oh this is a recipe that i've made and i'm like oh this is a recipe that i've made this person did this tweak that person did that tweak over there you know and then i start to like do a little experimenting and figuring out like all right well if they did this and this and this you know like maybe they wanted it to be a little bit more savory you know that means that means like kind of salty and so that's why they added this stuff or maybe they wanted it to be a little bit sweeter and so they added some honey or whatever right and so that's why they added this and um so then i determine what i how do i want it to taste this is going to be my recipe and so then i i start to figure out i'm going to get rid of this i'm going to hold this to the side oh this thing actually plays well off of that ingredient so i'm going to keep it even in there even though you know on the surface you might think oh i don't know if that should be in there sometimes it should and you don't even know huh right right so according to the story there's the ghost of a ghost and he is only granted one wish the thing is we don't even know what that wish is does it even pertain to the two explorers i don't know i don't think it does i think there's a deeper story there about this ghost who's i mean and then how many wishes does he have left and i didn't even know that ghosts granted wishes is he the ghost of a genie like how there's a lot going on is what i'm saying and and and you know so did he invent yumya did he is he just guarding it is it is it something that's you know like it's hidden in the forest i don't know i think that that story is is just the beginning i think we're going to find out a lot more about about yumya but it basically it's it's it's kind of like yogurt it's creamy and it's dreamy right and these poor explorers they uh they they were lost and and you know i guess the ghost of a ghost saved their lives by filling their bellies with delicious yumya um it why why not just call it yogurt ah i'm fine i like yumya it sounds better and people were like oh well the heart of coffee can alley that's pretty bumper guard yes that's me i i i'm allowing them to uh to manufacture to create to make yumya here in coffee can alley um and and we can't wait we've got yummy flavors that we're gonna start figuring out too we're gonna do like a lemon curd do you know what that is oh it's good because the yogurt is kind of sweet and so i was thinking like i want some tart flavors to go against it just to counter it nice lemon curd ooh which could move over to a key lime what really yeah it could it could it absolutely could and then also we're thinking of doing like a like a cranberry you're like but that's only for thanksgiving no no my friends cranberry dressing is delicious like not out of a can no no all made fresh and then we're thinking of doing like a chai you know what chai is it's like a chai tea but a chai yogurt what and then we're even gonna make uh uh uh uh lassi like a mango lassi right which is a drink but we're not gonna have it be too liquidy it's just it's like mango and the yogurt and maybe some like some cardamom oh well very fancy and and we're gonna make some uh some granola and we have like cups coming little plastic cups and so the only thing that's holding us back is the the only thing that's holding me back at this point is i haven't made stickers or designed the packaging but my focus right now is on getting all this stuff made and done right and then then then i can do the packaging um but that's where i've been i haven't fallen off the face of the earth uh we're still doing the pig and pal show we got a show coming up today very exciting um celebrating birthdays left and right and then we're I haven't been doing a lot of comedy shows. Do I miss it? No, actually, I don't. It's kind of weird. I thought I would. I used to, but then I've just been so busy. And busy doing what? Well, inventing Yum-Yah, for one. Thank you for asking. Oh, what's that? You're asking me, is there a Twitter account? Is there a Facebook page? Is there an Instagram? Relax. We're working on all that stuff. There's a lot, okay? Just settle down. And what I've been doing? Oh, I've been working in the yard. And we're putting a path around our raised beds. Our raised beds where we have squash and cucumber and corn and pumpkins and cilantro and lettuce. Like, so much stuff is growing this year. Tomatoes. Okra. It's all there. I think. I don't know. That's what I've been told. To me, I look at it and I see a lot of plants. But I've been told, I've been guaranteed that these are edible plants. So I'm going to take their word. But so what I did is I cleared off all the grass and dirt around the beds. And then I put down this tarpy stuff. And then I've started putting down rocks. So far, I've put down 1,200 pounds of rocks. Because each bag is 50 pounds. 1,000. That's more than half a ton. Hot, hot sun. But you know what I did when I was done? I came in and I had a delicious taste. Of yum-yah. Ah! Look at me. Ok. I hope you're doing well. I missed you desperately. Next week, we're going to get back to normal episodes. Or maybe even this week. Maybe I'll do 15 or 20 bonus episodes. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows?

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  • Bumperpodcast #299 – Look who’s back!

    Pig comes back after a long disappearance – and spills the beans on where he has been. It’s convoluted!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Do you like chaos? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    Aloysious J. Pig returns to Bumperpodcast after a mysterious absence, spinning an increasingly absurd tale about his whereabouts. While Natty Bumpercar tries to share updates about his chaotic few weeks involving company buyouts, tree cutting, and stump grinding, Pig insists on telling a wild story involving corn fields, desert jail, a camel cellmate, and a frozen yogurt escape plot. Rufus T. Rufus appears to corroborate Pig's tale with his own unlikely story about yachts and Learjets. The episode devolves into comedic chaos as Natty struggles to determine what's real and what's fiction, with Pig eventually admitting the whole adventure might have just been about eating frozen yogurt all summer.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If I walk by your office in the hallway, does it say, Chief of Fun Ruiner? Because, you know, if that's your gig, then you should get a raise, my friend.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I can't believe you preempted my big adventure. I can't believe you preempted my big conversation to talk about stumps.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I've been gone, engorging myself, because I want to get my summer body on fleek, on point, if you will.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #pigreturns #storytelling #frozenyogurt #prisonescape #summeradventures #talltales #friendship

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so here's the thing bumper podcast you've been wondering where i've been and i've been wondering

    Aloysious J. Pig: where you've been well more importantly we've all been waiting for where hey here i am you're just gonna cut me yeah okay i'm gonna talk now okay yes i'm gonna talk where pig has been yeah well he's back i'm back and everyone has been like hey where's pig we've been getting all this mail and all these you know uh phone calls and uh sky writing and and letters and and you know and

    Natty Bumpercar: and and mail you said mail like two or three times i yeah i know okay well so i just wanted to make sure because it's you can't really if you're trying to build something up you can't be like ah we got mail and we got postcards and we got envelopes should i leave i don't want to

    Aloysious J. Pig: do this okay yeah you proceed okay thank you so as i was saying i was on everyone was asking and i'm I was on an adventure, an adventure of epic proportions, if you know what I'm doing here.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you just do a pun? Yeah, it was a pun. I do a lot of puns, okay? Because it was kind of terrible.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Just leave me alone, all right?

    Natty Bumpercar: Is that going to be your new thing?

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's what I always do.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

    Aloysious J. Pig: This is why people leave the show, Bumper Guy. I didn't want to get into it on the podcast because it was supposed to be a big, warm welcome back. But all of a sudden, you've got to sit there and you've got to pick and pick and pick at the pig. And me, I'm just here to have fun, and I'm just here to tell a story. And you, you know, I guess you're here to what? Ruin the fun? Is that your job? Is that your title? If I walk by your office in the hallway, does it say, Chief of Fun Ruiner? Because, you know, if that's your gig, then you should get a raise, my friend. Your bonus should be a bountiful, you know?

    Natty Bumpercar: I do like the, I am sorry, Pig. I, you know, it's been a couple of weeks. It's been a crazy couple of weeks around here.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Are you going to talk about yourself now? Is that what we're doing, huh?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I'm actually going to, if you don't, I'll just real quick. Okay. It's been crazy. It's been bananas crazy. Let me tell you what happened to me, and then you can hear from Pig. The company that I worked for was bought by an international company. No one knew if we were going to have jobs. This was two weeks ago. My wife was away at a conference. Big conference in Las Vegas. Ho, ho, ho. There was a carnival that was a block and a half from my house that my kids lose their minds to go to. The carnival's here.

    Aloysious J. Pig: The carnival's here. We have to go to the carnival. Carnival, carnival.

    Natty Bumpercar: We have to spend thousands of dollars. Not really. We don't have to spend that much money. What else do we have? There was, we watched the Captain Underpants movie. I was in a commercial that was, I was on set for 12 hours. The company. We ended up transitioning, so that did happen into the new company, and that's been a nightmare. We have the biggest client ever at my company that we're trying to land, and everyone's been losing their minds about that. We've also had a few shows. Yeah. We also, we might get a bathroom, a new bathroom here at headquarters. Really, we're talking about bathroom.

    Aloysious J. Pig: It's just been crazy. Sounds crazy.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't need to tell you. Okay. But I'm telling you. Okay. Something else happened, too. What? Oh, I cut down two trees in my backyard. Oh, boy. I did, with a chainsaw. I cut down four bushes. Lots of things are happening. Why are you cutting things down? I'm getting a stump grinder this weekend to grind stumps, because we're having a big family reunion of my wife's family in a couple of weeks, and I need the house to be spick and span and ready. It's not going to be. It's going to be in the middle of a thousand different projects, and people are going to deal with it. This is unlistenable. Okay, back to you. I'm sorry. Yeah, thank you.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No one is. I can't believe you preempted my big adventure. I can't believe you preempted my big conversation to talk about stumps. You're like, oh, I'm going to grind some stumps. This is my podcast now. Is that what's happened since I left?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, it's not how I talk, A and B. Honestly, we haven't. I don't even know if we've recorded in the last two weeks, so I don't want to say you're the lynch pig of the whole thing, but really, we haven't been putting out a lot of content. No premium content, that's for sure. Everyone can agree to that. Everyone can attest to that. Anyway, so, done talking. I want to hear what happened to you, where you have been, where you went. So, without further ado, go.

    Aloysious J. Pig: So, there's some weird tension here, but we'll deal with that another time, I suppose. So, there I was, ladies and gentlemen. I woke up. I found myself in a field, a field of corn. It was like a dream come true for a pig like me. I looked left. I looked right. I look in front of me. I look behind. To me, there was corn everywhere. Here's the thing, though. When corn grows, it ain't too convenient for a little pig like me. So, I'm looking. I can't reach none of it. All I can do is smell the corn. Oh, hello, beautiful corn. Won't you lean down and let me know? Okay. And so, then I had to go to the farm to see if they had some sort of a ladder that I could drag back to the corn field. So that I could climb up tippity-top to the top of the stairs and eat the corn. Well, I went to the farm, and they arrested me for trespassing. Can you believe this? I'm a pig on a farm. Can't you just give me a slap on the hoof or something and say, hey, pig, move on. You ain't supposed to be here. No. They took me into the police car, into town. There was a judge. There was a gavel. Off I went. They sent me to… To jail in the desert. I was in the desert. A pig in the desert. I can't tell you how much I was sweating. I was, like, profuse. They were… Actually, they got me my own row of paper towels, because they were always, like, they were embarrassed at how much I was sweating. They were like, bro, just dab a little bit of that sweat off, okay? You're a little bit extreme right now. I'm an extreme pig. People tell me that all the time. And they look at me, and they're like, bro, you seem pretty extreme. And I'm like, hey, you know what? For a pig, I guess I am. Anyway, in this jail, there was a camel, right? I don't know what he was in for. He wouldn't talk to me. But we, you know, we made eye contact, and we could tell we was on the same page. So what we did one night was there was a jackrabbit. No, excuse me. A jackalope. Who had… Who had squirreled away some spoons. And me and the camel and the jackalope and I guess the squirrel, I don't remember, started digging and digging and digging and…

    Natty Bumpercar: Are you telling me that you broke out of jail? You were in a prison for trespassing? You went to the desert? That doesn't make any sense at all. This story doesn't make any sense.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, you don't make any sense, all right? I don't believe you. Well, I've got proof. Hold on one second. Let me bring my proof in. Get in here, proof. Well, if it isn't Mr. Rufus T. Rufus, I am here to defend the honor of Mr. Piggy Lou himself. Rude. It's Aloysius. Get with it. Exactly. So there I was on the Riviera on my yacht, and all of a sudden the phone starts to ringing, and it is… Emergency, emergency, emergency. And I said, hold on a second. I need to put my drink down. I don't want it to spill because that itself would be an emergency.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't have a yacht. You don't… What are you talking about?

    Aloysious J. Pig: What does he keep interrupting me for?

    Natty Bumpercar: Because you don't… You're… I don't believe you either. I've met you before. You've never been to the Riviera. This is no joke. You don't have a yacht. You didn't even… You said yucked.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, he said yacht. Bro, is this what you're going to do now? You're going to make fun of how people talk? You're going to make fun of accents just because you ain't got no accent? Because you was born in rural Georgia, and all of a sudden you don't sound like nothing? And so is that what this is? No. No. Just stop attacking. I'm sorry. Let the story happen.

    Natty Bumpercar: Go ahead, Rufus. Tell the story.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, of course I will. So I got the phone call, and it was from Aloysius here, who was calling me. He was calling me from dessert, and he was with a camel, and he was with a rabbit with horns. No, he said jackalope. He was a jackalope. Jackalope, exactly. Let's get it right. And there was a… I believe there might have been a squirrel. I'm not sure. And there was something about spoons, and so I quickly pulled my yacht up into the dock, and I parked it as you do. And granny… And got on my lead jet, and we flew over my crew and my team of experts, and we rescued this crew of malcontents.

    Natty Bumpercar: So my head is… This is… I'm glad I took a break. I missed doing the podcast, but I did not miss this. So you're telling me that you were on a yacht in the Riviera, you had a drink, the phone rang, and on the phone was Pig. Camel, something, a jackalope, and a squirrel that you're not even sure of. No one seems to be sure about this squirrel. The squirrel thing is kind of freaking me out. And then you got on a Learjet, is what you're saying, with your team, never met your team, and you flew over, and you rescued them. Is that something that a lawyer… Is that a normal thing that a lawyer would do? Because that doesn't sound very lawyerly to me. Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's how… That's essentially what you just… Said was essentially what kind of happened. I think that… Rufus might have let something slip in there when he said dessert in the spoons. Here's the thing, Bumper Cop. I was in jail at a soft yogurt place, and me and this camel dude, we dug out of the yogurt with some spoons. There was no squirrel, if you didn't pick up on that. There was a jackalope. But she was working behind a counter. This whole time, I've been gone, engorging myself, because I want to get my summer body on fleek, on point, if you will. Wait. And that's where I've been. So none of it's true? And then Rufus had some ice cream, though. I don't… None of it's true? I don't… What? None of it, or maybe all of it.

    Unknown: I don't know.

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  • Bumperpodcast #143 – Bag of awesome!

    Bumperpodcast #143 – Bag of awesome!

    You just had a bag of awesome delivered directly to your doorstep … Can you even handle it? Yeah, today’s Bumperpodcast has numbers and bees and will rock your world.

    How many bags of awesome do you have? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we love to count!

    Bag of awesome!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 143, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a chaotic and hilarious monologue about prime numbers, terrible math jokes, and an unexpected encounter with a friendly bumblebee. Natty stumbles through explaining what prime numbers are, admits to being terrible at math jokes like "why was six afraid of seven," and then shares a bizarre story about driving to a show. While jamming out to music with his hand out the window, Natty gets painfully "high-fived" by a high-speed bumblebee, nearly causing a wreck. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling style and ability to find humor in the most random everyday moments.

    Memorable Quotes

    “it's the day that the bumper podcast rolls up into your town into your driveway knocks on your door and gives you a bag of awesome”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i saw that what it was is there was a bumblebee who would try to give me a high speed high five which is so nice”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #math #primenumbers #driving #music #bumblebees #comedy #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: it goes a one two three and what's up bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it's your favorite day of your life it's your favorite day of the week it's your favorite day of the month it's the day that the bumper podcast rolls up into your town into your driveway knocks on your door and gives you a bag of awesome hey don't walk away you forgot your bag of awesome here it is open it up enjoy it love it live it love it wait that probably was gonna be a good catchphrase but then i kind of fell apart there towards the end love it live it uh enjoy it i don't know we gotta have the marketing department work on that probably we're doing really great right up until we had that flub we had the bag of awesome we're rolling up into your town we counted up to three wait one it goes to one it goes to one two three yeah okay we gotta get up all up to three which is good you know i think uh three is one and three are prime numbers i think i don't really even know what that is but in my head it feels like that's something that's a truth i just told you if you take anything at all away from the bumper podcast today uh then please take prime numbers one and three two might no two is not two is divisible by one obviously wait three is divisible by one so that anyone know what prime numbers are why am i talking about math i don't know anything about math i know that numbers are fun and funny yeah because seven eight nine i wait six oh i don't do good at math number jokes i don't do good at them at all last night i was driving to this show right and i was listening to some music i was like jamming out i had the radio up and they were playing twofers back to numbers i know and i was like singing and i was like i'm driving somewhere i don't know where and i had my hand out of the window and i was doing that like that wave thing where like you're you have your hand flat and it's like doing like a little wave motion like it was a snake in the river like and then all of a sudden it was like bam something hit my hand and i was i almost had a wreck because i was it hurt so bad and it caught me by such a surprise i didn't know what was going on and i was like what in the what just ow like what happened what possibly ow and i was looking around and then i got the i looked in my uh my rear view mirror my rear view to see if i could figure out what had just happened you know meanwhile my hand is like throbbing in pain and then i saw that what it was is there was a bumblebee who would try to give me a high speed high five which is so nice like the place where i was going they literally had the nicest bumblebees that you would ever want to meet ever

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  • Bumperpodcast #141 – Waffle

    Bumperpodcast #141 – Waffle

    Today on the Bumperpodcast, we get to hear a story about Waffle going to the carnival and some of the silliness that went on there.

    Have you ever had a snack with a puppy? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we’d love the recipe …

    To serve at our party!!!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 141, host Natty Bumpercar shares a whimsical story about his friend Waffle who goes to the carnival with Butter Pat and Dollop of Syrup. Their day takes an unexpected turn when a rainbow being chased by a puppy causes a chaotic collision on the midway. The mishap leads to an unlikely friendship formed over a shared snack cake, with the group becoming lifelong pen pals. Natty then pivots to discussing social media, proposing that Pinterest users should be called "pen pals" and fantasizing about making money from his brilliant ideas. This episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style, blending absurdist humor with commentary on modern life and friendship.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The other day I was talking to my friend Waffle and Waffle was telling me that he went to the carnival with his friends Butter Pat and Dollop of Syrup.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “How about the people who you're friends with on Pinterest should be called your pen pals. Write it down, mail it to them, we'll get our back pretty soon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My mattress is going to be so far off the ground because of all the dough that's stuffed underneath it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #carnival #friendship #socialmedia #pinterest #storytelling #humor #money #puppies

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's natty bumper car me your pal in the place to be listening to the bumper podcast well wait i'm listening to it because i'm saying it i'm listening to myself say it and you're listening to me already having had said it say it what hey the other day i was talking to my friend waffle and waffle was telling me that he went to the carnival with his friends butter pat and dollop of syrup so waffle butter pat dollop of syrup go to the carnival right and they're wandering around the midway they're looking at all the rides they're deciding if they're going to get tickets or not they're doing what you do at a carnival they're getting themselves ready to have the best day ever then all of a sudden around the corner runs this rainbow a little rainbow you there's a rainbow running just running and he's being chased by a puppy you guys the puppy was chasing the rainbow bumped into waffle waffle slips on butter pat falls right into dollop of syrup oh you guys here's the thing the puppy stopped the uh the rainbow never even looked back uh the puppy had a delicious snack well because you asked me well because the puppy the puppy had a delicious snack well because the puppy had a delicious snack actually the reason he's chasing the rainbow is because the rainbow had uh had dropped his snack cake and so the puppy just went ahead and ate the snack cake what you were thinking that maybe the puppy had stopped and eaten waffle butter pat and dollop of syrup no way he actually shared some of the snack cake with those three so they all you know kind of became best of friends and they still to this day are all pen pals which is fun um hey here's look at why hey hey hey look at bumper carter's had an idea social media uh you guys have heard of this thing called pinterest pinterest uh how about the people who you're friends with on pinterest should be called your pen pals write it down mail it to them we'll get our back pretty soon i like it bumper podcast we're getting rich we're making money stacks of money stacks of dough stacks of cash pretty soon i mean my mattress is going to be so far off the ground because of all the dough that's stuffed underneath it what you don't stuff your money in the under your mattress what do you do the mason jar in the ground in the backyard well maybe some of us have backyards with a lot of roots and rocks in them so maybe we can't live the life of luxury that you have with the mason jars i would much rather sleep on a regular mattress with no money

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  • Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    I split my toe – I stubbed my toe – I mangled and bashed and beat up my toe. Socks just stood by and watched . . . I had to hobble around a bit – and the worst part was the cleaning of the wound.

    Booooooo cleaning – in all of it’s sundry forms.

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a painful and humorous tale of stubbing his toe during an evening walk with his dog Socks. What starts as a simple mishap quickly escalates when Natty discovers blood everywhere after his big toe takes on the sidewalk in a brutal TKO. He vividly describes the shock of pain, the confusion of his dog, and the awkward four-block journey home hobbling on his left heel. The episode captures Natty's signature storytelling style as he recounts the worst part of all: cleaning the wound at home only to discover he's out of band-aids.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and you can see things that aren't there necessarily.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in the ring.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #injuries #dogs #walking #pain #humor #everydaylife #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car or as i like to be called these days natty bumper wait natty bumper stubbed toe natty stubbed toe i stubbed my toe last night yesterday it was a rough day it was a bad day yep i was walking socks it was pitch dark outside and out of nowhere i was wearing flip flops too i should let you know that out of nowhere boom like the whole world went bright like a flash of light mostly in my head but it was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and it's you like you can hear things you can see things you can see things you can see things you can see things that aren't there necessarily and i had to stop i had to pause took a deep breath all right everything's all right stubbed my toe kind of hurts gonna keep walking oh so he kept walking socks you know he didn't know what was going on you know he always gets confused when stuff happens like he just looks back at me like i thought we were on a walk not on a hang out here so i uh so i keep walking maybe i mean i maybe got another 20 feet or so and i was just like well this is this does it hurts it doesn't feel good this doesn't feel right so i took my uh phone my flashlight phone thing and i held it down by my uh by my foot and uh ooh ooh yuck ooh yuck gross there was blood everywhere there i mean there was blood blood everywhere my big toe had been demolished it had i mean if if we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in in in the ring so then i'm four blocks from home i have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home and then that's the worst part of it all because you gotta clean it out you gotta put some water on it which hurts you gotta put some peroxide on it which hurts you gotta put some neosporin on it which doesn't really hurt kind of makes it feel better and then what you're out of band-aids well you're out of luck

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