Tag: Standup

  • Bumperpodcast #225 – Poison Ivy

    Bumperpodcast #225 – Poison Ivy

    Bumpercar has poison ivy – and – he isn’t dealing with it all that well. As a matter of fact, he’s kind of a basket case about the whole thing.

    How do you do under pressure? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his miserable experience battling a severe case of poison ivy. After doing yard work, Natty finds himself covered in itchy, painful rashes and desperately tries every remedy he can find online. From Epsom salt baths and oatmeal treatments to joining poison ivy Facebook groups, Natty chronicles his futile attempts to find relief. He educates listeners about urushiol oil, debunks common poison ivy myths, and warns everyone to avoid the three-leaved menace at all costs. This comedic solo episode captures Natty's journey through the stages of grief while dealing with nature's most irritating plant.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's like a chemical burn is what the internet told me is this uracil chemical has burned my skin and I Always thought that if you pop the blisters that you were gonna spread it, but no evidently That's one of the big myths about poison ivy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There were maybe two plants and two plants did this to me who invented poison ivy. Why is it even there? What does it do is it just worthless?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm going through all sorts of stages right now anger denial I don't have it but I do fear please don't get me near the poison ivy anger I hate you poison ivy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #poisonivy #yardwork #homeremedies #healthstruggles #gardeningmishaps #nature #comedyrant

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Oh

    Natty Bumpercar: Guys I've got poison ivy help me. I don't like it. It's the worst thing ever poison ivy poison ivy poison ivy Go away poison ivy poison ivy poison ivy I got it last weekend. I was outside. I was doing yard work and stuff, and it's it's just so unbearable Have you ever had poison ivy? It's so stupid. I just itch everywhere I'm not supposed to scratch the itches and so I just walk around all day I'm in a bad mood, and I can't touch my stupid legs because they itch But my pants are touching my legs and my socks are touching my legs and they make it itch Every time I move and now oh look it's on my elbow. Oh look now. It's next to my hand Take it you can't take it at all Don't get poison ivy Learn from me learn from my mistakes It's the worst there's three leaves. It's urasol. I looked it up on the internet That's the oil that's on the leaves that gets on you, and it could be on your clothes or on your Shoes for like Why don't know where I'm coughing it doesn't affect me coughing. I'm just so I'm so freaked out huh, so this stuff urasol is the oil that's on the plants on the on the leaves of the of the poison ivy plant and It can get on your clothes for three to five years Which then made me freak out cuz I was like wait am I gonna have this for three to five years because I can't do it I can't handle it. I went out I started researching everything I could do I got I took Epsom salt baths Which hey it tasted good, but no it doesn't do anything I took oatmeal baths, but not yummy regular oatmeal like you would think it's called like coagulated or Qualogen or koala koala Steve. I don't know what it is, but it's I maybe it helped I don't know cuz that's the thing you're supposed to take a super super hot bath like as hot as you can take Like you're a lobster going into a pot and I wish I showed I might cuz I put my leg in and I took my Leg out my leg was bright red where it was in the water cuz it was so hot But that makes it itch more that makes it hurt more right so then okay you take your bath with your oatmeal and your Epsom salts or whatever and then you get out and you have to pat dry cuz you can't rub dry because if you rub dry then You might pop the little blisters. It's a bit It's like a chemical burn is what the internet told me is this uracil chemical has burned my skin and I Always thought that if you pop the blisters that you were gonna spread it, but no evidently That's one of the big myths about poison ivy because I'm part of all sorts of poison ivy message boards now And I joined the poison ivy Facebook, and I listened to the song poison ivy Constantly because I need to be reminded of the the True the terrible place that I'm in right now You guys ever had poison ivy. What did you do? I heard if you go to the ocean and you hang out in the water That's good for it because it dries your skin out because that's really all you want to do is dry the skin out So all I've been drinking is diuretics Constantly, I'm just like hey. I'll have some more tea. I guess Give me some more tea over here Hey, give me some soda pop so that I can dry myself out internally and externally I heard you can take you can take baking soda and then I put vinegar on Towels and the first couple of nights I slept with that on my legs and it smelled like Easter everywhere Now we're how many days we're like five days in and it's still all there, and it's bright red. It's like I got stung by a jellyfish I which I've heard you guys Can pee on to make that plane go away? I'm not doing that I can't bring myself to pee on my leg bumper podcast kateers I worry about you because I don't want you to go through what I'm going through right now, which is not pleasant It's poison ivy and the thing is I was in the backyard There were maybe two plants and two plants did this to me who invented poison ivy. Why is it even there? What does it do is it just worthless? I don't like it. I'm going through all sorts of stages right now anger denial I don't have it but I do fear please don't get me near the poison ivy anger I hate you poison ivy there's no joy there I haven't made it there yet except for this I do love this

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  • Bumperpodcast 224 – Dirt Man

    Bumperpodcast 224 – Dirt Man

    Bumpercar gets some dirt delivered to Headquarters – and it really feels like things have changed – for the better! 

    Do you buy dirt?! Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

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  • Bumperpodcast #223 – Letterman …

    Bumperpodcast #223 – Letterman …

    Bumpercar laments shows that go away and how people are tied to different things in their world. It is a fitting – if slightly disjointed – goodbye to a piece of the past.

    Will you miss Letterman?! Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    About This Episode

    In this reflective episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar explores the nostalgia and emotional connections people form with television shows throughout their lives. Natty discusses how the shows we watch help shape who we become, referencing recent long-running TV shows coming to an end and how audiences react to these departures. He touches on the special connection that develops between hosts and viewers, comparing it to the relationship he shares with Bumperpodcast listeners. The episode features Natty's characteristic rambling style as he works through a conversation about someone's contradictory feelings toward a departing talk show, ultimately concluding with genuine appreciation for the shows that talk directly to audiences.

    Memorable Quotes

    “if you ever walked up to me on the street you could be like natty how is doodle poodle doing and i'd be like that dog is crazy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “we're on at the we're on the choo-choo straight to nowheresville population me”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “what about pig and i'd be like he's my best friend let's not get this twisted”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #television #nostalgia #talkshows #childhoodmemories #podcasting #media #personalgrowth

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: do you guys watch tv do you watch television do you uh watch shows on the on the tube there because man i remember growing up i used to watch i used to watch a lot of tv and you know a lot of shows that i would watch and like i got nostalgia for them because you know like depending on when you watch the show in your life is that that's that's kind of what you you can kind of go back to that time in your head and you can be like man i remember that show and i remember exactly what was going on in my world at that time and and and i and i i remember like ah how that show made me feel and all the different characters and the situations you know and like at least partially how how maybe that molded you a little bit and it made you the person you are today because you know all the stuff in the world that stimulates you through your life whatever books music art uh shows movies uh anything that you you see or do even just being out in the world the people you talk to uh your routines the places you go all these things are you know they make up who you are and so you know a small aspect of that and for some people a huge aspect of that are our shows and they hold on to them and especially you know if you have some sort of show where you know it's on regularly and uh it's it's not like a a written show uh and it's an actual just a person talking to you then it becomes easier to kind of uh connect with that person and to be like i i know that person kind of like you guys and and me like i feel like we're pretty close we're pretty tight like we've been through some serious stuff bumper podcast cateers and you know so if if you ever walked up to me on the street you could be like maddie how is doodle poodle doing and i'd be like that dog is crazy and you'd be like what about robot and i'd be like robot and then you'd be like well what about pig and i'd be like he's my best friend let's not get this twisted let's not get this twisted like his little pig tail he's my best friend so you know it's it's his connect connectivity thing that happens just from hearing people's voices hearing how they talk the cadence of what they say uh you know being able to infer the meaning behind what they're saying and in between the lines and you know recently i think we've we've had a lot of tv uh shows that have been going on for a long time go and they're just going away and and and it's made people sad and i've been i've been reading a lot of articles and watching a lot of clip packages which are just like little snippets of the tv show and uh you know you start to think you're just like wow i remember that show i don't watch it as much as i used to that always seems to be something that people say they always feel like you know i used to love that show back in the day i don't watch as much as i used to but i still love it and it's still a good show and you're like okay i got you uh but uh i was i was talking to somebody and i said man you know that show that's leaving and they were like yeah i was like are you sad about it they were like no no it's like not even a they're like i don't care i was like okay it's like not even from like a cultural standpoint like being in the zeitgeist you don't care about it at all from a nostalgia standpoint oh well from a nostalgia standpoint of course i care about it a little bit well all right that's confusing so you do care but you don't care no i don't care okay all right now i see where we are we're nowhere we're nowheresville we're on at the we're on the choo-choo straight to nowheresville population me no i um you know i i i used to watch that show a lot and you know i don't watch as much as i used to um but i i i'm nostalgic for it and i you know you feel like it's just something that's a constant that's always there every single night it's a talk show and you're talking directly to me and now it's just gonna be gone replaced by something else and maybe that'll be fine but maybe it won't be and does it even matter because i'm at a different point in my life and so you know i don't care as much about such things but i do care because you were talking to me and i was listening and i was watching and you were zany and fun and wacky and you know what i'm gonna miss you

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  • Bumperpodcast #220 – Mystery solved – and meatballin’!

    Bumperpodcast #220 – Mystery solved – and meatballin’!

    The mystery is solved – and we find that some mysteries are best left alone. Fireplug is in the house – along with Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle. To infinity!

    Do you ever go meatballing?! Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    Comedian, Natty Bumpercar does some junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

    About This Episode

    In episode 220 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar discovers a mysteriously lost episode tape while moving boxes. For once, the show actually resolves a storyline quickly instead of letting it drag on for months. When the crew gathers to listen to the recovered tape, they're horrified by what they hear – a terrible soundscape experiment that gives Aloysious J. Pig a furball despite being a pig. Robot denies responsibility, claiming his content is too cool for such a disaster. After much chaos and finger-pointing among the characters, Doodle Poodle finally confesses to creating the awful lost episode.

    Memorable Quotes

    “That was the worst thing I ever heard in my life. Do we record that? Is that an actual episode?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “All my stuff is pretty good. Like, it's pretty on point. Like, the kids all like to listen to it when robot speaks because robot is so cool.”

    — Robot

    “Usually things drag on for months at a time and then are just dropped and forgotten.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #mystery #lostmedia #experimentalaudio #teamwork #confession #podcastproduction

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me not a bumper car hey how's it going what's going on fireplug i was moving some boxes around and i found this thing here and i wanted to give it to you it looked like it was something important that's the tape of the mysteriously lost episode yeah that's the greatest thing ever you found it right that's so i have no idea what you're talking about well we had lost an episode last week we were talking about it and from what you just handed me something amazing has just happened we might have actually wrapped up a uh a storyline that we just started last week which is not something that we do here at the bumper podcast usually things drag on for months at a time and then are just dropped and forgotten yeah like to the point where you're just like i don't even care if they bring up a new storyline because they're just gonna forget about it because the show they get distracted easily okay i understand you don't care you don't you don't care okay it's not my job my job is to pick things up okay all right what just happened there i'm not very good at my job come on i pick things up all right and i put things down good like that all right okay so okay you got i got i know what you're doing i put them down down good job okay well that's great okay you're gonna go you should have a good day you have a good day too thank you so much for finding me okay see you later uh okay okay you're still here okay okay okay okay

    Doodle Poodle: okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay

    Natty Bumpercar: okay I should have hit him up. We could have gone meatballing. Meatballing. You know, down at the spot where we get the meatballs. Anyway, that's besides the point. What I'm excited about is you found the mystery episode, and we're all here. So maybe you think we can listen to it all? Yes, I think that's the best idea ever. Okay, I'm going to get it. That was a weird sign-off you did. That would all be all right with me. Yeah, I just had to get it all loaded up and set into the machine here, and then we can listen to it, and we can see what the mystery episode was that we lost, and we can figure out exactly what we were missing out on. So, all right, I'm just going to hold on a second while I just got to put it in there. Okay, and I got to put this over here, load up this thing. All right, all right, and play.

    Doodle Poodle: Oh, oh, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off.

    Natty Bumpercar: My pig ears can't take whatever the heck that was. Oh, that was the worst thing I ever heard in my life. Do we record that? Is that an actual episode? Oh, that's what we were doing that day? I don't remember doing, like, soundscape experiments or nothing like that. Oh, oh, that actually gave me a furball. And I'm a pig. Pigs ain't. I've got furballs. Who authorized that? Oh. I have no idea. Better lost than never listened to, I would say. What are we going to put that on? That made me sneeze. What was that? Robot, is that something you were doing? Because, oh, that hurt my nose. You gave pig a furball? I don't understand what. Is that why it was never posted? Because it was just that horrible?

    Robot: It wasn't me doing anything. It wasn't me. I had nothing to do with it. I, you know, all my stuff is pretty good. Like, it's pretty on point. Like, the kids all like to listen to it when robot speaks because robot is so cool. So cool. So cool. What's he doing? I make dogs drool. Jimmy, that's not even true. Little bigot.

    Doodle Poodle: I make dogs drool. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. It's just not true. You should have made a bigger dog. You just, I should have made a bigger robot. And you, you made a bad episode. Later, man. It was probably you who made it. You broke it. The whole Bumper Podcast and everybody knows it.

    Natty Bumpercar: Doodle Poodle, you did it. Didn't you?

    Doodle Poodle: Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Poodle Poodle, you, did it. Didn't you? Yeah. Poodle. Poodle. You did it. Didn't you? Yeah. Poodle. Poodle. You did it. Didn't you? Yeah. Poodle. He did it. Poodle.

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  • Bumperpodcast #219 – Mystery of the lost episode.

    Bumperpodcast #219 – Mystery of the lost episode.

    We lost an episode of the Bumperpodcast – and everyone is in a real tizzy! What do we do? We rip everything apart – and – and – and – you’ll have to listen to find out!

    You are swell? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    Comedian, Natty Bumpercar talks about some junk with Robot and Pig, and some other junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and his puppet friends face a crisis when episode 214 mysteriously goes missing. As Natty frantically searches through boxes and bags at headquarters, Doodle Poodle and Aloysious J. Pig try to help solve the problem. Pig suggests re-recording the lost episode, but Natty worries about disrupting the show's continuity. Amidst the chaos, Natty shares exciting news about reaching the finals of a comedy competition in New York City. The episode captures the improvisational humor and behind-the-scenes mayhem that makes Bumperpodcast unique.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm like a specialist, I'm like a sniper, I get in there, binga-baga-boonga, and then I lose.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Maybe make it like an extra special episode. This week on the bumper podcast, robot gets a life!”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “You didn't help the situation, you brought me an old stale donut.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #missingepisode #comedycompetition #behindthescenes #continuity #newyorkcity #improvisation #chaos

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know, but if you look over there, I think you're on the shelf, behind the box, move that, move that, okay, the brown one, okay, just keep looking over there, what, no, you, you guys, okay, just, there's some, just get rid of all that garbage, and move, it might be in the bag, so I want you to go through all those bags over there, okay, I'm just, I'm just gonna look over here to see if I can find, and I can't see it, I can't, I'm not finding anything, oh, jeez, sorry, hey, everybody, it's, it's me, Nanny Bumper Gar, sorry, I didn't realize that we were recording this, Doodle Poodle is over there looking through, hey, yes, hi, Doodle, he's looking through a bag of pigs somewhere, over there, looking through some boxes and stuff, I don't know where Robot is, but I was kind of hoping that he would help, guys, we lost an episode, I don't know where the episode went, I don't know what happened, I, I'm at a loss, and, um, ah, it's not supposed to happen, it's all supposed to be sequential, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, et cetera, but episode, I think it's two, one, four, it's nowhere to be found, it's, and we're really, I mean, I am, ripping headquarters apart, I'm moving stuff, it should be here, and it's not, so I don't know what to do, because now, the entire continuity of the storyline that we've been meticulously putting together is, is at risk, because I don't know what we're missing, and what was supposed to be here, and what's not here, and so, I, you know, like, I don't want to rehash things that I've already, that were in episode 213, that'd be, who wants to hear things twice, this is five minutes of your week, that I'm honored for you to, to, to give to me, and, and now, I'm asking you to, what, listen to something twice, you don't have time for that, as the internet says, you do not have time for that, what, really, bring it over, bring it over, oh, it could be in here, no, no, it's not, it's not in here, come on, thank you, though,

    Aloysious J. Pig: that's no problem, listen, I, I think I got an idea that we maybe should do, is we just, I don't know, re-record it, I can't re-record it, come on, don't shoot the pig messenger, I'm not, I was just thinking, terrible idea, we've been spending all this time, looking around everything, every place, yeah, maybe it'd be a better idea, if we just, I, no, listen to episode 213, episode 215, see where we are, okay, and just re-record it, that's a terrible idea, because it's not gonna make sense, I don't know, or maybe make it like an extra special episode, uh-huh, you know, it's like, this week, on the bumper podcast, robot gets a life, come on, that's not nice, he's not even here, I know, but he's not even here,

    Natty Bumpercar: I know, but he's a robot, he needs battery, oh, dude, what you got, no, I'm sorry, what, dude, come on, that's, it's a, it's a donut you brought me, would you stop crying, you didn't do nothing at all, you didn't help the situation, you brought me an old stale donut, I'll take that, yeah, of course,

    Aloysious J. Pig: thank you, I mean, I've been working up a lot, I'm hungry,

    Natty Bumpercar: I know, I know, I really, and I appreciate, yeah, it's a terrible day, but I appreciate everything you're doing to help me, guys, um, I don't, I, I'm starting to hedge towards what you're saying, and I don't, I don't feel like we're gonna find it, no, and it stinks, because the episode is almost over, and I had so many things I wanted to tell you about, guys, I was in the finals of a comedy competition, uh, at a festival in New York, City, and which is a kind of a nice big deal for me, right, this is my, I think, third or fourth competition, and if you want a man to make it to the finals or the semi-finals of a competition, and then lose, that's you, that's you, I'm your man right here, it's what I do, I'm like a specialist, I'm like a sniper, I get in there, binga-baga-boonga, and then I lose, it's, uh, it's good, no, it's good to know just how good you are, good, you're good enough to make it, here, you're not good enough to go there, no, that gives me something to aim for, you know what else I got something to aim for, what do you got to do, I got to aim to find episode 214.

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