Tag: Standup

  • Bumperpodcast #236 – Good spirits

    Bumperpodcast #236 – Good spirits

    Bumpercar is back and filling you in on all of the reasons why he has been gone. He seems to be in good spirits – so – let’s enjoy it while we can!

    Do you have good spirits? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In episode 236, Natty Bumpercar returns after a long absence to share what's been happening in his life. He opens up about the recent passing of his 95-year-old grandmother, a painter who studied at the University of Georgia before moving to New York City—a path Natty himself would later follow. He explains how a series of unfortunate events including a computer breakdown and a bout of bronchitis kept him away from the podcast. Despite dealing with anxiety, illness, and falling behind on life, Natty remains optimistic and excited to reconnect with his listeners. He promises to return to a regular schedule and shares his enthusiasm about new social media strategies.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It has been anaconda snake long it has been snake river long it has been as long as an anaconda and the snake river and the summer breeze long.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The hip is evidently the key to life it's the cradle it's where everything you know can go wrong.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm pretty happy right now. I'm pretty excited to be back. I missed you so much, Bumper Podcast Coutures.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #lossandgrief #familyhistory #illness #catchingup #personalstruggles #resilience #anxiety

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast it is natty bumper car and it has been so long it has been so far too long incredibly long how long has it been it has been anaconda snake long it has been snake river long it has been as long as an anaconda and the snake river and the summer breeze long it's a lot of snake references really don't know what's going on there um i have missed you so much it has been so long and i'm so sorry i uh a lot of stuff happened let's just get some things off our chest bumper podcast uh my name is natty bumper car this is the weekly bumper podcast you weekly yes i realize that several weeks have been missed i know this let me tell you what happened first one's sad first one is really sad you know i'm not looking i'm not looking for i mean i pity i appreciate uh thoughts and prayers and everything uh so uh my my my grandmother died she passed away she's 95 years old she fell and broke her hip and it's that's what happened to my other grandmother too the hip is evidently the key to life it's the cradle it's where everything you know can go wrong and it was it's very sad it was it was like a month ago uh maybe three weeks and um so it was unexpected uh obviously uh but you know she fell broke her hip went to the hospital got that fixed went to rehab uh that didn't work out and here we are sadness sadness sadness a couple cool things uh about my grandmother um she was a painter i'm a painter she went to the university of georgia i did the same thing and then she moved to new york city after she got her painting degree from the university of georgia she studied under a guy named lamar dodd the uh art school at the university of georgia is named after lamar dodd that's kind of cool i don't know if you've seen that one and i'm not satisfied with that one that' noughts dot dot dot dot dot an 800 including a iphone fifty 50 again and never saw a cop for them that's kind of cool to me that she was like in the in the beginning right and then she moved to new york and that's and here's a weird parallel i ended up going to university of georgia for painting and then moving to new york to paint weird stuff weird crazy stuff um so that happened recovered from that had a had a pack up real quickly fly down to georgia do all that stuff came right back and then my computer broke just died this is the second time this year this sad computer's had a hard time but it's back it's better it's a happy computer again please stay happy computer after the computer now we're in a week and a half in i got bronchitis this is one thing on top of another thing on top of another thing and normally i bounce back pretty quickly from all the things i'm pretty resilient when it comes to things but for some reason this series of unfortunate events was enough to really knock me on my tuchus and we're just now getting back into the swing of things i uh i i don't know i'm really i'm behind in life i'm behind on a lot of things and i don't like that it drives me crazy it means i have nightmares at night because i have uh anxiety it's like oh gosh i gotta do all this thing and this thing and then my brain's like oh don't forget about that thing that thing too and then i'm like ah and then obviously you throw in the job and the kids and everything doing shows here and there and it's brutal and that's the thing i haven't even been able to do shows in the past couple weeks because i've been so silly sick i've been on antibiotics and a steroid and last night i had to have emergency do an abuteral treatment which you take for asthma which i have bronchitis asthma seasonal uh what is it called seasonal allergy onset asthma is what i call it I think the doctor called it or something silly like that. And I got home and I couldn't breathe at all. Like even right now talking. I'm talking a little bit too much. Which, it's awesome. Means I'm probably going to have to take a little thing before I go to work. Yay! It's a great time. But I think you can hear it in my voice. I'm pretty happy right now. I'm pretty excited to be back. I missed you so much, Bumper Podcast Coutures. And I'm thrilled that I'm going to get to chat with you again. And we'll do it again next week. And we're going to get bigger. And we're going to get better. And I figured out a cool thing with Periscope last night. Where I can actually cut my videos up and put them on Vine. And put them on Instagram. And that way even more people won't actually see my videos. It'll be amazing. Hooray!

    Unknown: Hooray!

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  • Bumperpodcast #235 – Tiny Screaming Jokester

    Bumperpodcast #235 – Tiny Screaming Jokester

    Bumpercar needs to get with the program – so to do that, he brings a screaming tiny person to get things moving and to talk about and tell some jokes …

    Do you scream? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar welcomes special guest Emerson for a chaotic and entertaining conversation. Fresh off "getting rid of Rufus T. Rufus," Natty tries to conduct an interview with the energetic Emerson, who shares stories about going to the beach, starting school, and delivers a series of increasingly silly knock-knock jokes. The episode features playful banter about names, sea monsters, rotten chicken, and takes an unexpected turn into bathroom humor territory. This unscripted, improvisational episode showcases the unpredictable comedy that happens when Natty Bumpercar tries to maintain control of the show.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I taste like, um, um, rotten leaves. And I taste like rotten chicken.”

    — Emerson

    “This is the first Bumper Podcast since we got rid of Rufus T. Rufus, and we are just hanging out, having a good time.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're going to get me in trouble. I can't even stand. This isn't how we talk in the Bumper Podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #knock-knockjokes #school #beach #friendship #improvisation #bathroomhumor #children

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Emerson

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: All right. Hey, everybody. It's me, Natty Bumpercar, and you are?

    Emerson: Um.

    Natty Bumpercar: What's your name?

    Emerson: Emerson.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's your name?

    Emerson: Yes. Who gave, what kind of name is that? Who gave you that name? I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't know who gave you that name?

    Emerson: No. Who was it?

    Natty Bumpercar: I mean, I have some ideas on who might have given you the name, but I can't definitively say. What if you did? If I did, I'd get in trouble. Why? Because those are secrets. So your name is Emerson. You sure it's not like elephant? No. Is your name buffalo?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is your name banana?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness gracious. Oh, my goodness gracious. Hey, Emerson.

    Emerson: Hey, Emerson.

    Natty Bumpercar: I want my hat back.

    Emerson: I know that story.

    Natty Bumpercar: Have you seen my hat?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, all right. What's the hat do? So, Emerson, tell me about you. This is the first Bumper Podcast since we got rid of Rufus T. Rufus, and we are just hanging out, having a good time. Yeah, because this is really fun. Is this really fun?

    Emerson: Yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: All right. I hope they think it's fun. Don't touch those things. Those are dangerous things up here. So, what do you, tell me about yourself. What have you been up to?

    Emerson: I've been up to playing.

    Natty Bumpercar: You've been up to playing? What have you been playing? 100 years. You've been playing 100 years. How do you play 100 years? Do you know? You get lost in the music, don't you? You like to just sit and listen to the music. That's fine. So… Dad! Oh, don't yell too loud. You're going to hurt the people's ears. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. So, what do you, are you, what, did you just start something? Yes. What'd you just start? Went to the beach. You just went to the beach? What'd you do at the beach?

    Emerson: I went in the deep water. You went in the deep water?

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you see any sea monsters? Nope. Thank goodness! That would have been terrible. Yeah. They would have probably eaten you up. Ah! Because you are delicious. No, I'm not. I, yeah, I ate, used to eat your toes. But I just like, want to eat.

    Emerson: You're so good.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm so good. I'm so good. I'm so good. I'm so good.

    Emerson: I love you. I taste like, um, um, rotten leaves. Ew. And I taste like rotten chicken.

    Natty Bumpercar: You do? Yes. That's disgusting. I had no idea. Well, I'm glad that I'm not going to eat you then. Um, hey, do you want to tell us a joke? Yes. Knock, knock. Oh, who, uh, who's there? Who pooped there? What? I am not answering the door. Go away. I'm going to call the police. Try again.

    Emerson: Knock, knock.

    Natty Bumpercar: Who's there?

    Emerson: Um, cow.

    Natty Bumpercar: Cow who?

    Emerson: A mountain cow. Oh, come on.

    Natty Bumpercar: I didn't see that one coming a mile away. I'll try one. Uh, knock, knock. Who's there? Kitty cat. Kitty cat who? Kitty cat in your face. What? Is that me? What?

    Emerson: The big one.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. The one when it talks? Yeah, those are called waveforms, and so you can see when you talk, those are, those are graphical representations of your, of the sound coming out of your mouth. So that's why when you yell, it's not a good thing. All right, now you're just breathing weird. That's kind of, that's going to creep people out. What? What I was asking, so earlier I was asking, what did you just start? You just started school.

    Emerson: I started school.

    Natty Bumpercar: Are you so excited?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're so smart, though. You're going to do such a great job, right?

    Emerson: What if someone talks to me?

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson. No, no, no, no, no. Knock, knock. Oh, oh, oh. Uh, who, who's there? Baby butt. Come on. Fine. I'll play.

    Emerson: Baby butt who? Baby butt in the toilet. Oh, no, no. That's disgusting. Come on.

    Natty Bumpercar: You baby butt in the toilet. Knock, knock. Oh, we got another one? All right. Who is there? Boo-boo. Boo-boo who?

    Emerson: Boo-boo in the toilet and then he farted on. No, this is not the kind of show that. And then he farted. And then he farted. And then he farted in the toilet and then he pooped on someone's face.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're going to get me in trouble. I can't even stand. I'm going to get, I'm going to get in big trouble. This isn't how we talk in the Bumper Podcast. Yes, we do. Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Hey, we got to go. But ladies and gentlemen, thanks for listening to the Bumper Podcast. Yeah, bye. I'm Natty Bumpercar. What's your name? Ah! Ah!

    Emerson: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

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  • Bumperpodcast #234 – The farce is a finagle!

    Bumperpodcast #234 – The farce is a finagle!

    Rufus T. Rufus is back to hassle everyone at the Bumperpodcast – and Natty Bumpercar is a bit down – right up until Doodle Poodle shows up with a plan!

    Do you plan? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar finds himself in legal hot water when Rufus T. Rufus claims to own the entire podcast due to a contract breach. Rufus insists that because Aloysious J. Pig was doing unauthorized Periscope broadcasts, he now owns all of Natty's intellectual property. Just when things look dire, Doodle Poodle arrives claiming to have taken lawyering classes and offers to help. In a surprising twist, Doodle's unconventional legal tactics involving doodling on the contract somehow invalidate it, freeing Natty from Rufus's claims. The whole ordeal turns out to be what Rufus calls "a finagle," with Doodle Poodle saving the day in the most unexpected way possible.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I now own the bumper podcast and everything there in between you understand sir all mine all the time and it rhymes on a dime”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I just took the contract and, you know, I went through it and I made a few doodles on it! It's invalidated!”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “That means this whole boss is a finagle!”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #contracts #legaldisputes #intellectualproperty #friendship #periscope #lawyers #comedy #conflictresolution

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody that's me uh natty bumper car this is a bumper podcast and this is

    Rufus T. Rufus: you understand i just thought you maybe had forgotten and you'd maybe gone away and you were just gonna leave us alone and here you are here i am because this is my show now you are in a breach of contract and you understand that's the law that's nothing that i'm doing my friend oh we are friends my friend because you see here under this contract i own every bit of intellectual property you have been putting out for years and years and years it doesn't no i don't think you i don't i don't know much about contracts but i'm pretty sure that you don't own any i feel like i'm whining i feel like i'm whining at this point but listen rufus um you were a great manager

    Natty Bumpercar: i know that pig was doing periscopes and that broke some sort of part of the contract and so now you think you own the podcast or whatever but you don't own it

    Rufus T. Rufus: everything i don't know anything i don't think i don't know i'm trying to figure this out and work on it and i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't you okay i'm stuttering i don't even and i don't know what's going on well here's let me tell you exactly what's going on as you described in the previous predicament your friend aloysius jay big whose name is on this contract was doing and so what that means ipso facto is that i now own the bumper podcast and everything there in between you understand sir all mine all the time and it rhymes on a dime yeah eating a lot okay that doesn't mean anything some other things right you understand what i'm doing there yeah i understand what you're doing you're being you're kind of being a not you're not being very nice you're kind of being a jerk you're being a jerk you're being a jerk you're being a jerk you're being a jerk i'm sorry to say that but that's kind of what's happening all right like pig did we all do a lot of other shows i do stand-up shows i do other people's podcasts do you huh interesting yes oh that's fine well then evidently we got multiple breaches of contract up in here and i don't think you understand the legality of the system of the law of the land what my friend you have done yourself into a real pickle here a pickle juice do you understand why don't you you can drink your pickle juice i don't want to drink in the corner what and read the contract read the fine print of the contract read between the lines of the contract you know i

    Doodle Poodle: don't think i'm not gonna do that i cry everybody what and a hell of an downhill what how what what is what are they doing here huh how Oh! I'm here! I've been taking lawyering classes on my T's off, and I'm gonna- I know a lot about lawyers and stuff. Well, I doubt that! You do? Uh, no.

    Rufus T. Rufus: What? Lawyer? Lawyer stuff? He don't know nothin'. No. About nothin'. He don't know nothin' about this doll. I would like to see the contract if you don't mind! Yeah, give him the contract, Rufus. That's- I mean- Suppose! Why not? Just give it to him. Let's see what happens. If this is your new lawyer, then here is the contract, my sir.

    Doodle Poodle: Alright, thank you very much. Let me just look through this and- Oh, look at- I mean- What in the world are you doing? What are you doing with that?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, give me that contract back right now! What is- What did he do to it? That's not acceptable! That is not Proud Lawyers Act! That is not proper lawyering, sir! From one legal advisor to another, that is not proper!

    Natty Bumpercar: Doodle Poodle, what did you just do to the contract? I don't even understand. What- what just-

    Rufus T. Rufus: What did just happen?

    Doodle Poodle: I just took the contract and, you know, I went through it and I made a few doodles on it!

    Rufus T. Rufus: You did what? That's disgusting! Come on!

    Doodle Poodle: It's invalidated!

    Rufus T. Rufus: What? What did you just say? Invalidated? Did you just wreck my contract? That means that I don't own anything! That means that the Bumper Podcast goes back to you, Bumper! God, that means this whole boss is a finagle!

    Doodle Poodle: Doodle Poodle, I think you did it! You did it! You did it! The boss is a finagle!

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  • Bumperpodcast #233 – Bumpercar is a shorn sheep!

    Bumperpodcast #233 – Bumpercar is a shorn sheep!

    Bumpercar does something out of the kindness of his heart – and – our manager is nice and let’s us record an episode about it. This is Bumpercar at his most beardless!

    Do you shave? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this heartfelt episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after a week away due to a computer malfunction and shares some personal news. Natty explains his eighteen-hundred-dollar MacBook Pro's logic board failure and his relief that it was covered under warranty. More significantly, he discusses his 95-year-old grandmother's recent fall and broken hip, and the helpless feeling of being far away during her hospitalization. In a touching gesture, Natty decides to shave his five-and-a-half-year beard—something his young children have never seen him without—because his grandmother had expressed strong dislike for it during their recent visit. The episode blends humor with genuine emotion as Natty prepares to surprise his family and send photos to his hospitalized grandmother.

    Memorable Quotes

    “oh precious i'd love to see her but your your face why don't you have that terrible horrible beard on your face boy it's just disgusting you have such a precious face and i just can't stand that beard”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “my children have not seen me without a beard i think once when my my firstborn uh tiny one he might have seen me and he cried”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “you're in the hospital you don't feel good boom and walks in some person uh with balloons your day got a little bit better”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #family #grandparents #personalappearance #technologyproblems #hospitalization #beards #grandchildren

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: let's get down to brass tacks this is the bumper podcast i'm natty bumper car i missed you last week you're like natty where were you you can't do that to us you can't just leave bro my computer died it completely died my eighteen thousand dollar uh macbook pro it wasn't really that expensive uh the logic board uh it was gone for a week my computer i took it to the store and they were like all right and then i was just like what does all right mean and they were like we're gonna just wrap it up and we're gonna here's your receipt and i was like but it's it's not all backed up don't take my computer please and they did they took it away uh but they fixed it and it was under warranty ah because otherwise it would have been a new computer which i cannot do right now because as you may know i just bought a car and i have babies and i have a wife and i have a roof and i need to eat every so often so thanking my lucky stars for that uh but now we're back and i know we're in a storyline right now there's the whole rufus t rufus thing going on but he actually gave me a respite he said i could record this week uh next week i'm on vacation but i'm gonna try to record from the beach i like doing that because i'm at my happiest i'm at my most calm i'm at my most centered i'm my most perfect self when i'm at the beach so i'd like to share that with you uh but he he gave me a respite he said you know what bumper car you got some stuff on your chest why don't you just go out and record this one today i feel sorry for you so here's the story my grandmother my 95 year old grandmother who i think i've mentioned at some point on the podcast uh fell down that's not something you want your grandparents to do you don't want them to fall down she uh broke her hip that's another thing that's two checks checks on the list of things you don't want to have happen to your grandparent um and so she broke her hip and she she got hurt and she's in the hospital and and that's that's rough stuff and and she lives very far away and uh when we went down to georgia we actually went and visited her and we took the kids down and we showed the kids off here are your great grandchildren aren't they great there was a lot of that joke you really are a great grandmother all that kind of uh stuff so uh you know there's nothing i can do from far away we we sent balloons because that's something you do that's a fun thing to do people love balloons you're you're in the hospital you don't feel good boom and walks in some person uh with balloons your day got a little bit better but now she's in the hospital a little bit longer than we were expecting and i was trying to i was like what can i do from up here to help down there you're so far away and uh here's the thing when we were in georgia i have a bit of a beard i don't know if you knew this about me i'm a bearded bumper car and uh when we saw her i hadn't saw her i haven't seen her in a couple years and uh and she was just like oh precious i'd love to see her but your your face why don't you have that terrible horrible beard on your face boy it's just disgusting you have such a precious face and i just can't stand that beard and i was just like all right well it's great to see you okay well it's great to see you too precious your beard and it just went on and on it was i would i would say the bulk of the uh of of the day i would a good 38 percent was uh spent focused laser focused on how much she didn't like my beard so i got an idea this morning and i uh i shaved my beard gone i've had my beard essentially for five and a half years my children have not seen me without a beard i think once when my my firstborn uh tiny one he might have seen me and he cried so tonight when i pick the children up they won't know who i am when i go to work today they won't know who i am my wife won't know who i am but i have a photograph before and after that i will put together and i will send down to the south for just for my grandmother to make her feel better about her beard and i'm going to go to john scott's and give you a little heads up today i have a biraz coming up yes so i'm o am not an orc no more shall i get out the day she can say oh precious i am so happy that you shaved your beard you look so adorable i had no idea though that you look like a scallop because i have no chin

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  • Bumperpodcast #232 – Welcome to the Pirate Bumperpodcast!

    Bumperpodcast #232 – Welcome to the Pirate Bumperpodcast!

    Welcome to the Pirate Bumperpodcast! After Rufus T. Rufus shut the Bumperpodcast down, we’ve gone underground – to the basement. Do we have a plan?!

    Do you have a plan? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, and Aloysious J. Pig are forced into hiding in the basement after Rufus T. Rufus shuts down the studio due to Pig's excessive Periscope activity. With the studio locked down and a mysterious contract signed by Pig, the gang must figure out how to keep producing episodes. Doodle Poodle is distracted by Minecraft, Pig is dealing with humidity-induced sleepiness, and Natty tries desperately to rally the troops for a plan. The episode ends with Natty declaring they'll become a pirate podcast, recording underground episodes until they can sort out the legal mess and take back their show.

    Memorable Quotes

    “We are a bumper podcast on the run. We are a bumper podcast that is operating underground. We are a pirate bumper podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I thought you were supposed to be coming up with a plan… We're playing Minecraft.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “I've just been sleepy lately. I think it's the humidity.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #piratepodcast #hiding #periscope #minecraft #contractdisputes #basementrecording #rebellion

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and that guy's here too my little guy's here uh hey i'm here too yeah pig's here too and we're all hiding because we're not supposed to be doing the show this week and we're kind of under grass why it's so loud we're in we're in yeah the uh there's

    Doodle Poodle: i thought you were supposed to be coming up with a plan

    Natty Bumpercar: rufus t rufus said that we can't do the show anymore because i've been doing too many

    Aloysious J. Pig: too many periscopes hey pig you stop it why would you say that to me it's not very nice at all i'm your friend aren't we best friends nobody can hear you are you whispering You're into a lot. You're too quiet.

    Unknown: Be quiet!

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Well, so, again, we're all hiding out here in the basement, and we're…

    Doodle Poodle: Playing Minecraft.

    Natty Bumpercar: We're not playing Minecraft.

    Doodle Poodle: Yes, we are. We're in the world of Minecraft.

    Natty Bumpercar: Really? Is that what we're doing? I thought we were trying to figure out how to keep doing the Bumpa Podcast. But we can't because, I mean, Pig signed some sort of a contract last week, and that's why we couldn't even put one out yesterday because Rufus has the entire studio shut down, and you don't touch this thing. You just leave that thing alone. There you go.

    Doodle Poodle: Yeah, because the studio is done!

    Natty Bumpercar: Don't know. Don't yell too loud. Don't yell too loud because that makes people run away. Guys, so, we don't know what we're going to do, but we know we're hiding down here.

    Doodle Poodle: Yeah, yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: And, um… Blah, blah, blah, blah. Hey, Emerson, what's your big plan? Like, how are we going to get out of this?

    Doodle Poodle: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: I thought you were the one who was going to come up with a plan. You were the one who was going to come up with a plan, though, weren't you?

    Doodle Poodle: Yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, what's the big plan?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Go.

    Natty Bumpercar: Go? That's your plan?

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's the worst plan I ever heard in my life. Well, I mean, it's at least the start of a plan, Pig. You haven't done anything. Oh, I've done a whole lot. I was doing the periscoping, and I got us in trouble.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, all right.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. All right, well…

    Aloysious J. Pig: Blah, blah, blah, blah.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, are you not going to give us a plan?

    Aloysious J. Pig: No. Why not? Because… It's a terrible question.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's a terrible question?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't agree with that at all. I don't agree with that one bit. Do you want to go run away? I mean, like, upstairs? Are you done? Yes. Okay. You go do it. You go do it. I'm going to figure out a plan. You go away. See you later. See you later. Mashed potato. All right, guys. Now it's just me and you. And we're going to figure this out. All right? Here's what we're going to do. We're just going to keep recording. We're just going to keep recording pirate podcasts. Pirate bumper podcasts from down here in the basement or from in the car.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Or from my sty. Can I do it from my sty?

    Natty Bumpercar: Listen, pig. I don't know if I'm going to keep you on the team anymore because you kind of have wrecked everything. I ain't wrecked nothing. You wrecked everything. Ah. Rufus T. Rufus shut us down last week. He came in. He was like, no more bumper podcasts. He was like, no more bumper podcasts. Or however he talks. And so yesterday, that's why there wasn't a show. But today there's a show. And I thought my kid had a big. He's like, I got a big plan to fix everything. He didn't. He didn't have a single plan. He didn't have any plan at all. His plan was to go.

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's not a plan. That's just one word.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, pig. I got you. So for now, we are a bumper podcast on the run. We are a bumper podcast that is operating underground. That is. It is a pirate. We are a bumper podcast. And I don't know how it's going to turn out. But until we can get this legal document, this contract sorted, this is the only way that I know that I can get you guys episodes. And I don't want to miss episodes. And I'm sure you don't want to miss episodes.

    Aloysious J. Pig: You know what? I kind of enjoyed doing it, too.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's fine, pig. That's fine. Why don't you go do your periscopes and just.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I ain't even done a periscope. It's been like three, four days because I'm too tired at night.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know, you can do them during the day. You can do that in the morning. Like a tea with pig you used to do. That was a good show.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I know. But then I've been sleeping in and then I've been going to bed. I've just been sleepy lately. I think it's the humidity.

    Natty Bumpercar: All right. So pig is dealing with humidity. I'm dealing with Rufus T. Rufus. My kid is dealing with wolves in Minecraft. None of us are in a very good place right now. None of us are in a very good state. But you know what you guys are? You're in a you're in a wonderful state because you are listen, you're pirates.

    Doodle Poodle: Now you're you are pirates and we're going to take this thing back. We're going to write this ship. We're going to take it to the moon. We're going to take it to the limit. We're going to go all the way for the bumper podcast.

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