Tag: solo episode

  • Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    We are back in the Bumperpodcast Worldwide Studios – today – and Natty Bumpercar couldn’t be happier about it!

    Have you ever come home after a long absence? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we want to help you get home!

    So that you can eat your cookies!!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast headquarters studio after 10,000 years away, promising moderately decent audio quality. In this solo episode, Natty displays his newly acquired certificate of expertise from the Mayor of Coffee Can Alley, which declares him an expert in "all things." He recounts a hilarious grocery store encounter where he attempts to use his general expertise certificate to explain produce organization to a confused shopper, with predictably awkward results. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling humor and his tendency to confidently dispense questionable advice.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then I think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have a certificate here… says right here natty bumper car is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #expertise #certificates #groceryshopping #confidence #comedy #soloepisode

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: are well welcome to the bumper podcast it's me a pirate and i'm here to say to you what are you huh what are you doing in here i heard yes get out are you sure yes i'm positive get okay then thank you toodaloo toodaloo pirate hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and for the first time in 10 000 years i'm back in the bumper podcast headquarters studio which means you get to hear something that actually sounds moderately decent moderately decent oh boy that's right robot moderately decent and you know what if we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then i think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon i don't know which one is closer i'm kind of guessing that the moon is so we want to go further than that we're going to go to the stars i'm going to stick with what i said at first we have potential bumper podcast listeners to go straight past the moon to the stars who's with me who wants to go on this ride i think you do i could see you smiling you didn't have to actually say yes here's the thing bumper podcast i natty bumper car am an expert reader of people's um body language of their physiology i don't know what that is necessarily frenology is that the thing with the bumps on the head i don't know but i'm an expert at it is what i'm trying to tell you i have a certificate here it is right here came in the mail says right here natty bumper car uh is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things so it's kind of a general uh certificate but that's fine you know you kind of take it for what it is i i applied for uh some more specific certificates but i wasn't able to get them i didn't qualify for them i suppose so i i got this general one and i kind of use it in a lot of different aspects of my life for instance i was in the grocery store just yesterday and i was in the vegetable aisle and there was uh there was a there was a shelf and it had tomatoes and apples and i think it was like a squash uh all kind of mixed together and this woman was she was very confused why are these things together why are they all on the same shelf and i said hold on a second here ma'am i can handle this i am an expert and the reason that they've done this is that these uh fruits and vegetables are simpatico and that they live together nicely and that they will stay fresh longer if they're next to each other the uh the nice lady looked at me kind of askew kind of askance not impressed with my line of jibber jabber and she said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not

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  • Bumperpodcast #137 – Happy Days!

    Bumperpodcast #137 – Happy Days!

    Bumpercar definitely feels a million times better in this weeks episode of the Bumperpodcast – and – do you know what that means?! Excited gibberish – that’s what!!

    Have you ever meandered around a conversation? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we’ll all look for a map – together …

    And maybe find some treasure!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast with explosive energy after being sick for what felt like forever. In this high-energy solo episode, Natty reflects on his recovery from illness and medication-induced fog, expressing frustration about not being allowed to eat candy while picking up prescriptions at a drugstore surrounded by candy aisles. He proposes two new inventions: birds that can play flutes and medicinal candy. With boundless enthusiasm, Natty bounces between topics, talks to a mountain goat, and promises his listeners that he's back better than ever, hinting at phenomenal stories to come in future episodes.

    Memorable Quotes

    “On the medicine bottle it actually said no candy for you bumper car and it was underlined my name was underlined which is the worst because where do you go pick up prescriptions at the drugstore and what's in the drugstore a whole aisle of candy.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Let's invent birds that can play flutes and medicinal candy. I don't think that's too much to ask.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I feel so bad that I felt so bad get what i'm saying get how I'm living because I'm living loving loving living.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illnessrecovery #medication #candy #inventions #energy #soloepisode #comedyrant

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: who feels like a million bucks i do who feels like a million ducks i do who feels like a million trucks i do i do i do i do i do i do that's who does what's going on bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and you're probably wondering after you listen to last week's episode you're like is there gonna are there gonna be any more bumper podcasts how could there possibly be he sounds like he's not gonna make it he sounds like you know he's probably gonna he's not this is it that was the last bumper podcast and he sounds terrible no no i'm back and better than ever better than before you can't even believe it look at me now on top of a mountain what's up goat how you doing up here how you living goat like of course you are because you're a goat and i'm natty bumper car so i'm glad that we've established all that how are you doing how have you been like i was in such a uh antibiotic cold medicine uh haze for the past long time year two years i don't know that i don't even know what's going on with you how's how was dinner last night do you have a salad you love salads i remember that about you you had a birthday right was it a fun birthday i didn't come because i was sick you know always sick look at me and now i'm climbing trees i'm i couldn't eat candy before i don't know why on the uh the medicine bottle it actually said no candy for you bumper car and it was underlined my name was underlined which is the worst because where do you go pick up prescriptions at the drugstore and what's in the drugstore a whole aisle of candy like it's just right there you have to go through the candy in order to get your prescriptions and now you're telling me that i in particular am not allowed to have candy who are you what kind of sadist mean horrible person are you you can't have candy of course you can have candy why isn't there just like medicinal candy you guys let's invent something today let's invent birds that can play flutes and medicinal candy i don't think that's too much to ask as a matter of fact i am of the opinion that that's exactly what we should ask i couldn't think of what i was saying but that's what i'm saying i thought of it and then i said it and so now it's written in stone and it's been established and everybody knows it and that's fun you guys i know this is an ambling bumper podcast it's kind of here and there and everywhere but that's because i have so much energy i'm bounding i'm bouncing i'm hopping i'm jumping i could have told you a phenomenal story but i didn't want to blow your minds not right off the bat i want to blow your minds maybe next week i don't know maybe later this week maybe you're going to have a bonus episode because i feel so bad that i felt so bad get what i'm saying get how i'm living because i'm living loving loving living

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  • Bumperpodcast 109 – Plague

    Bumperpodcast 109 – Plague

    Natty Bumpercar returns to Headquarters with the icky-nasty-yucky plague – but – he has missed the Bumperpodcast studios so much – that he decides to give you a little bit of the talky-talk.

    Mostly – he just takes his throat to task for not doing what it’s supposed to do – which is evidently just to sit there and be a pipe. There are firings that are threatened.

    Listen to the Bumperpodcast to see if there is a job opening for a throat …

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    About This Episode

    In episode 109 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns to headquarters feeling under the weather. Suffering from what he calls "the plague," Natty delivers a hilarious rant about his malfunctioning body parts. He breaks down the basic job requirements of a throat—breathing and swallowing—and expresses his frustration that his throat can't even handle these simple tasks. Natty also voices his disappointment with his nose, threatening to fire both body parts if he could continue operating without them. This solo episode showcases Natty's signature comedic style as he turns being sick into an absurd performance review of his own anatomy.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I brought back with me the plague, I brought back with me disease, I brought back with me the funk, I brought back with me the ew, the yucky, the goo.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're a throat, you're just a tube. You're not really even doing anything, you just have to sit there.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If I could fire my nose and throat and still continue this operation that I'm in right now, you know what I would do it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #beingsick #comedy #illness #bodyparts #rant #soloepisode #health

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me daddy bumper car and the uh wow i am back in headquarters and that is awesome and that is great and you know what i brought back with me i brought back with me the plague i brought back with me disease i brought back with me the funk i brought back with me the ew the yucky the goo i can't breathe i have this nose that doesn't even know how to work i have this throat it doesn't even like me talking about it sometimes if i talk about my throat it decides to just close up and not work at all which to me is inappropriate it's like hey you're a throat how about you work is kind of what i'm thinking you know because really as a throat what do you have to do you have a few pretty i would say basic tasks uh a throat is uh breathing in and out all right that's you know if we want to say it that could be two things but really it's just kind of airflow so what i'm gonna do i'm i'm gonna be a stickler i'm gonna say airflow that's one in and out you're just a tube you're not really even doing anything you just have to sit there and the other thing you know is is again it's it's you know you can break it up if you want to if you want to give the throat uh you know oh poor throat you know you can say oh you have to drink liquids liquid has to go down oh no you have to uh uh take in food you know like solid stuff so like but really that's just one thing it's just you're taking stuff in so and i'll give you another you so you take stuff in and you know how people say oh cough cough cough that went down the wrong pipe i guess you know like if you take a drink and you can't um and you and they're like cough cough cough and then they're like oh well i know i just said this but that went down the wrong pipe and you're just like whatever jethro i don't care so throat here's what you're supposed to do for me you're supposed to breathe you're supposed to uh in and out that's one and you're supposed to let me uh eat and drink stuff so so food going down and that's all you do just do it don't don't bust don't fuss don't fight just do what you're supposed to do and nose i don't even want to talk about my nose at this point because it's not even it's so far not even trying it's ridiculous if i could fire my nose and throat and still continue this operation that i'm in right now you know what i would do it

  • Bumperpodcast 37 – My Eyes!

    Bumperpodcast 37 – My Eyes!

    I’ve been working so hard on junk and junk – that my eyes actually gave up and went on the fritz.

    So – now – I get to talk.

    How about that?!

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

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    About This Episode

    In episode 37 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after a long absence with heartfelt confessions about missing his podcast listeners. Natty shares a harrowing tale of working so intensely that he literally started losing his vision, seeing spots and flashing lights that grew into blinding orbs. Despite a scary medical episode that left him working in sunglasses for hours, Natty's dedication to his puppet podcast shines through. This brief solo episode showcases Natty's characteristic rambling humor and self-deprecating charm as he records from the show's headquarters without the usual chaos of barking dogs, screaming babies, or roboting robots.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I started seeing these little spots you know like little spots of like flashes of light… if you're in a disney movie then you know maybe you're seeing fairies.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “This is how much i care about you bumper podcast i'm recording this in front of the computer that made me almost go blind.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #overwork #healthscare #dedication #soloepisode #visionproblems #work-lifebalance

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast i have something to tell you it's been so long since i talked to you and i've missed you so much that i wrote you this song where i was telling you how much i miss you i'm still working on the song it's still it's still pretty new but i really feel like it gets to the kernel uh of what i want to say which is i've missed you so much this is one of those rare opportunities where i actually get to record in the house in the headquarters with the proper equipment there's no dogs barking there's no babies screaming there's no robots roboting it's just me talking to you hooray here's the thing bumper bumper excuse me bumper codcast that's the that's the that's the show that we're doing uh for the fish it's the bumper codcast uh it's for the and we also have a bumper bass cast and other fish that's a tangent i don't care about here's what i do care about i've been working so hard lately like so hard like not even fingers to the bone but to the point where this was a couple of days ago i was working and working and working and working type type type click click click move this thing color this thing do this thing and then all of a sudden i started seeing these little um spots you know like little spots of like flashes of light flash flash lights in the kind of the corners of my eyes and i was like that's weird because if you're in a disney movie then you know maybe you're seeing fairies and maybe they're gonna bring you good or money or a princess or whatever it's got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger to the point where i couldn't see anything except for these big kind of glowing orbs with like lights going over here and lights going over there it went from well this is this is odd this is funny to uh this isn't fun anymore what's i uh i I can't see no i can't i actually can't see and the people where i was they were just like oh stop it stop what stop not seeing stop stop seeing thus seeing because that's what was happening i had to come and sit on the couch and for a couple hours with my eyes closed all tight and then i had to come back to the computer to finish my work with sunglasses on this is how much i care about you bumper podcast i'm recording this in front of the computer that made me almost go blind so

    Unknown: you

  • Bumperpodcast #30 – It’s Bumperpodcast time!

    Bumperpodcast #30 – It’s Bumperpodcast time!

    We give up on trying to figure out what time you are all listening to the Bumperpodcast – and make the determination that we will just agree that it is Bumperpodcast time . . . No matter what time it really is.

    Then there are tomato flowers being worn on sleeves – and – what’s up with all of that wind anyway?!

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

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    About This Episode

    In this charming episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar ponders the mysteries of time and when listeners might tune in to the show. After wrestling with greetings appropriate for morning, midday, afternoon, and evening, Natty shifts gears to share an exciting culinary adventure. The episode centers on Natty's newfound knife skills, particularly the ability to wield a ten-inch blade with confidence. Listeners are treated to tales of cutting carrots and celery, dicing onions, and the crowning achievement: creating an elaborate tomato flower using a paring knife. This delightfully rambling solo episode showcases Natty's enthusiastic storytelling style and everyday observations.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Happy morning to you happy midday to you happy evening skills. That's right, you heard me. I can wield a knife. A ten inch wide.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I made a tiny tomato flower. And Mumper Podcast, if I could, I would get it to you, and I would ask you to pin it on your sleeve for me. Because that's where we wear our tomato florets.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #cooking #knifeskills #time #vegetables #tomatoes #culinaryarts #soloepisode

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: good day to you bumper podcast and by good day to you i mean good night to you why am i saying good night well because i'm for me right now it's night time wait it might be night time for you too i don't know what time you listen to this do you listen to it like when i first put it up or do you like squirrel it away and maybe listen to it at night for instance in which case me saying good night to you makes perfectly good sense i really i guess i could spend an entire episode and just say good morning to you good mid-morning but what time do you figure mid-morning is is that like lunchtime there's lunchtime even like a time like could i just say yeah i'll see you at lunchtime yeah i could say that and see well no it's morning afternoon afternoon evening which is night wait so in between morning and afternoon there has to be something midday sure morning midday afternoon evening and then you're in full on night time so without that being said happy morning to you happy midday to you happy evening skills. That's right, you heard me. I can wield a knife. A ten inch wide. That's the knife of choice. It was great. I cut stuff up. What did I cut? I cut a carrot. There's a lot of celery cutting. We cut a lot of celery, seriously. And I cut other things. I diced an onion. I think I did other things. But the topper. The main thing that I did was I took a tomato, and with a paring knife, first I cut off his bottom. And not all the way, but a little strip. All the way around. Like the entire way. And I made of rows. Like a little row of floret. Floret. Floret. Floret. I made a tiny tomato flower. And Mumper Podcast, if I could, I would get it to you, and I would ask you to pin it on your sleeve for me. Because that's where we wear our tomato florets. Good night!