Tag: snow

  • Bumperpodcast #363 – Tips and Tricks

    Bumperpodcast #363 – Tips and Tricks

    Natty shares some golden parenting advice with the world. Hopefully it isn’t fools gold!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar tackles winter weather woes and parenting challenges in this cozy episode of Bumperpodcast. After shoveling 6.6 inches of snow at 10 PM, Natty reflects on hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 17 people and shares the elaborate menu prepared for guests. The episode takes a heartfelt turn as Natty discusses the importance of verbalizing gratitude at the holiday table and introduces clever parenting techniques for dealing with childhood anxiety and dismissive responses. From sledding preferences to goat impressions, Natty delivers signature humor while exploring the universal struggles of parenting and holiday hosting.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I love to sit in front of a fireplace in a warm toasty cabin and watch as the beautiful snowflakes flitter and flutter… but then what I do not enjoy is walking in it, touching it, falling in it, getting it thrown at me, shoveling it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I think it's very important to verbalize what you're thankful for. Maybe just saying it makes it more real in my world.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “My kid eats like a goat. He'll eat trash. Wait a minute. My kid is a kid. I was so happy because I never thought of that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #snow #thanksgiving #parenting #gratitude #family #cooking #mentalhealth

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh the weather outside is frightful but the wait that seems like a song I should know oh the weather outside is frightful but the something is so delightful so delightful hey guys it's me natty bumper car and it's it's snowed it's it's snowed why did it snow I uh don't know if you know this about me not a fan of snow I love to look at it I think it's beautiful I love to sit in front of a fireplace in a warm toasty cabin and watch as the beautiful snowflakes flitter and flutter all around the world and then they land and they look so pretty and they they uh they make the whole uh the world just look like a like a crystal castle no they make the world look like a fluffy powdered donut and better better uh but then what I do not enjoy is uh walking in it touching it falling in it getting it thrown at me shoveling it none of that stuff do I enjoy I kind of like sledding if I'm to be honest uh I uh do not like tubing tubing is where you go to a mountain you pay people money to uh go to the top slide down go to the top slide down go to the top slide down and you're like wait a minute natty that sounds like a lot like sledding and I'm like yeah there's so much more you have to pay money and then you have to wait in line and I don't know I like finding a hill finding a pizza box and just sitting on it and slide down here's the thing pizza boxes don't work I don't I've seen people like I use a cardboard to bog it I'm like nope nope that's just gonna get soggy and wet and fall apart what about if you uh hey I use a uh the lid for my trash can do you okay that sounds like a great idea you want to sit in trash can lid ah no thank you what about uh oh you know what here's my favorite actually as uh when mice sit on spoons and they can uh hold the uh the handle of the spoon and slide down that's that's my favorite that's my favorite right there I uh so we we did get we got 6.6 inches of snow I was just told which is a lot of snow and it uh it's one of those things where because we have to shovel the driveway and you have to shovel the walkway and you don't want to do it while it's still snowing because then it's just gonna snow on it again and then you're gonna do it all again no thank you so I waited I didn't shovel last night until 10 o'clock that's late and then I was trying to be a conscientious shoveler and not be loud about it so it's like I don't want this scraping noise to keep the neighbors up and so I tried to to not do that and then I woke up this morning there's more snow are you kidding me let's get on the schedule let's get on the same page all right okay man I listened to the last episode of the bumper podcast which I apologize was like last year and uh my voice was pretty amazing I even I was trying to figure out how to do it and I it's not I think I must have been sick I guess I don't know something something was going on something was in the air something was in the water I'll have what she's having I um so I have to uh the kitties or the kitties were home yesterday oh guys happy Thanksgiving did you did you give thanks can I tell you my menu I made so much food what did you make all the food all the food yes all the food ginger orange honey glazed carrots yeah I made those truffle oil uh caper lemon uh what are they called cauliflower with Parmesan oh yeah I did that Brussels sprouts with bacon and balsamic vinegar yeah I did that too there's a lot of food a lot of food delicious food we had a 17 people over and I was it was just a wonderful day it was a wonderful day y'all here's the thing that I like to do because we we host Thanksgiving every year and once the meal is out and everyone is is you know making their plates I'm the one who uh goes around the table and I force people to uh to say what they're thankful for what they're grateful for and people really get a poo-poo it they're like oh I don't want to do this but here's the thing I think it's very important I think it's it's it's very important to verbalize what you're thankful for you can you can say oh in my head I'm thankful for these things I'm thankful for the person next to you and maybe they don't get to hear it enough right maybe maybe just saying it makes it more real in my world that's what I think so we go around the table and I say you know uh what are you thankful for and then I may may I may even pepper with a couple of follow-up questions I think that's a good thing to do too I think the art of conversation is is dwindling which makes me sad but that's okay we just have to keep working at it um speaking of conversation here's a cool thing that we started doing in my house uh one of my children who shall remain nameless uh if if you say for instance uh hey buddy uh don't hit your brother because that does happen I'm not gonna lie to you hey buddy don't hit your brother the response is fine it's an angry fine you know what that means nothing fine it's a dismissive it's a knee-jerk reaction it's the first thing there fine and you're like oh no and so for years we've lived with fine and we uh and I would get really frustrated with fine and I would say don't say fine to me that doesn't mean anything that means you're just you're not even listening to what I'm asking you to do and so then I finally I came upon a really cool way of dealing with fine and that is if I say hey buddy stop hitting your brother and he says fine I say no I need you to repeat to me what I just said to you so it's kind of the same way as the thankful stuff where it's forcing him to stop and verbalize what I just asked him to do which in theory this is a theory I don't know if it's real uh make it stick a little bit better. Hey, buddy, don't do that thing. I'm not going to do that thing. Awesome, buddy. Thank you so much as you were. We've only had it for like two days, but it's so far. Fingers are crossed. It's working out. Here's another cool trick. Sometimes in my house, there's a lot of dysregulation, a lot of anxiety that goes on, which sometimes leads to unhappiness, explosions as they were. And so one of the ways that we figured out how to help with those moments of anxiety was to get the kid and you say, hey, buddy, I need you to look around the room and find five things that are orange. And he will do that, but he will go that, that, that, that, that. And you're like, nope, nope, nope. I need specifics. That orange ball, the orange dot on the clock, the orange handle of that spoon, whatever it is. Actually, orange is tough. We don't have a lot of orange things in my house, to be honest. I should have gone with red. We have a lot of red things. But it's cool because, in theory, it helps him to get out of whatever's going on in his mind and look around and focus on other things. And so it's kind of two cool techniques that we've started trying to use in the house to help things along a little bit. Now, if only we could find a way to help the puppy dog, because she won't look at anything. Hey, popcorn. Stop eating those socks. Fine. Don't say fine to me. Woof. Don't say woof to me. Say I'm not going to eat the socks. Popcorn, calm down. I need you to find three things that are blue. Woof. No, be more specific. Woof, woof. All right. Good job. I had a show the other week, and I was talking about my kids, and I was talking about how, their poor diet and how they kind of eat garbage. And I was like, ah, they're trying to get my kid to eat good food, and he just wants to eat chips. Chips all the time. He got really upset. He says, hey, I have the worst life ever because you won't let me eat chips. And I was like, that's not, that is not grounds for having the worst life ever. You have a great life. And so I was on stage, and I was talking about, I was relaying this story, and I said, ah, my kid eats like a goat. He'll eat trash. He eats garbage. Wait a minute. My kid is a kid. I was so happy because I never thought of that. And then I was just like, ah, my kid is a kid. And I went, like that, like a goat. And then I was like, ah, don't talk to your mom like that. Ah. Ah. Ah. Weird goat noises I'm making. I usually do better goat.

    Unknown: Ah. Ah. Ah.

    Natty Bumpercar: There we go. Ah.

    Unknown: Ah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ah. Ah. Clean up your room. Ah. Ah. Put away your iPad. Ah. Ah. Find, find three things in the room that are yellow.

    Unknown: Ah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ah. Man. What's tougher to raise? Human children or goat kids? I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to go think about it. Maybe come up with another weird solution. Hey, Bumper Podcast, I love you guys. I'm glad I have my voice back. I'm glad I'm feeling top notch. You're amazing. So amazing.

    Unknown: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

    Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

    Yeti stops by to talk about all of the snow, Bumpercar offends him – and then catches you up on all kinds of fun stuff!

    Do you like snow? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this winter-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar receives a visit from a mostly silent Yeti who delivers bad news about more snow coming. Natty vents about dealing with blizzards, snow days, and cabin fever with his kids, who lasted only 15 minutes playing outside before retreating indoors. He shares the family's preparations for catching a leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day using an elaborate cookie-baited trap, revealing his son Emerson's newfound obsession with getting rich from leprechaun gold. Natty also discusses his painful journey learning guitar for an upcoming kids' show, culminating in a mixed reception from his children when he attempted to perform "If You're Happy and You Know It."

    Memorable Quotes

    “Children see snow and then they're like I want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like maybe this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that I loved more than anything because it was a mistake but I wasn't gonna correct him on it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Emerson has become obsessed with being rich and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work, is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #snowday #parenting #stpatricksday #leprechaun #music #learningguitar #familylife

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and today in studio we have a very special guest i think that's it's it's yeti a very talkative yeti hey yeti how are you doing what are you doing today what are you doing in your eye i just ran out of breath okay yeah yeah okay i get it yeah well so uh yeti is here because we had a giant snow blizzard a thing last week and or two days ago i guess and the ground is still covered in snow and i'm guessing that you're you're here to tell me that this is the last snow of the season right we're not getting any more snow please is that what you're please please please telling me oh come on really when this this weekend okay so evidently this weekend we're gonna get more snow i'm so sick of snow i'm so sick of winter i don't like it i don't like it i don't like it at all i don't like it one bit no i'm not talking about you i'm just saying winter i'm just saying winter in general yeti i love it when you come around i just can't deal with all the winter just come on buddy all right you know what i think what would make you feel better is if you went outside and played in the snow does that sound like a good idea does that sound like something you want to do does that sound like something like maybe you think you would like to do okay well that sounds okay yes exactly okay bye yeti thanks for stopping by wow that was exciting guys because he said that this weekend is going to actually be the last bit of snow and it's not going to be that much snow it's going to be like an inch or two so that's going to add on to what we have already there will be snow drifts there will be children crying going outside because they see snow children see snow and then they're like i want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like baby this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face and my hands oh now i'm wet well then i'm really gonna cry because not only am i am wet but i'm also freezing cold that's the reaction that my children had uh two days ago um let's go outside let's go outside it was like we can't go outside it's a blizzard you don't go outside in a blizzard like you don't we do you see you can't see out the window because it's all snow it's a whiteout you don't go outside in that uh which leads to pretty quickly leads to cabin fever which means your kids are just really just running into each other and running into things and falling over and freaking out all day um you know i understand the schools need to close every so often but why oh why and then so we did we went outside i don't know maybe uh 10 30 and uh played for a little bit and uh i think they lasted 15 minutes and it was good running around for 15 minutes and then the little one was like i don't want to do this i was like go back inside i'll shovel but in the big one he kept on grabbing chunks of snow and throwing it back to where i just shoveled and i was just like stop stop doing that stop daddy just i just i just and he was like i know and i was like no then why are you come on so it was good fun i um and then the next day delayed opening the bane of all parents in the world delayed opening so wait that means you're still going to school which means you're going to freak out about going to school but it also means that you're hanging out here with me and freaking out for longer abu abu but that doesn't matter snow day good time we actually had fun we played games we played chess uh pieces were thrown we uh had we had treats sweet treats like cookies and we uh built a box so here's a cool thing this week is uh saint patrick's day week i guess that's maybe i don't know when it is this week and uh i guess it's it's a relatively new thing where they try to capture the leprechaun and it's become a whole ordeal so we had we built a box and we decorated the box and it's it's a trap for the leprechaun and um that's terrible i understand that i haven't you haven't really changed your voice at all for this character okay and so this is very difficult fourth wall uh however i knew that you have a trip for me and i will not be coming to your trip so the leprechaun out okay well so i guess that was a leprechaun that just stuck his head into the studio that's what we're gonna assume that's we're gonna we're gonna pretend that i guess it's difficult to do uh accents and funny voices at the same time perfect that's fine but we did we we built a uh a leprechaun trap and um this year was actually sad because this was the first year that emerson he used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that i loved more than anything because it was a mistake but i wasn't gonna correct it on i wasn't gonna correct him on it and so it was just um he's like we're gonna catch the clover this is last year we're gonna catch the clover where's the clover gonna be is the clover gonna come the clover does shenanigans and i was just like the clover does shenanigans that's i make me that makes me happy um but now we're catching leprechauns and that's fine because it's still fun so we built the uh we built the box and the way the it works is we have it's it's a classic trap it's a box it's going to be up on one on one side it's got two sticks coming down on the front so it's kind of you know holding it or maybe one sec i think we'll do one stick so it's kind of uh positioned it's just balancing there inside the trap there's going to be a plate on the plate there's going to be a cookie uh probably a green like a shamrock cookie we're going to tie string to the uh to the shamrock cookie and we're going to tie that string to the little post that's holding the box standing up theory being that when the leprechaun grabs the cookie to eat it because how can he not so it's a shamrock cookie right there he's gonna pull box is gonna fall boom we got the leprechaun and the goal being when we capture this leprechaun he's gonna take us to his pot of gold emerson has become obsessed with being rich uh and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work is not doing well in school and and moving on in life no no no my friends the best way to get rich is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins so i will update you next week on what happens i'm very excited i'm very nervous about what could possibly happen in my house this morning he when he was going to school this morning he was just like saint patrick's day is tomorrow and i was like i know that means we have to set up our trap he's like yeah the trap like he was really into it he was really excited so that's that's big news other big news around headquarters i uh i think last week i was telling you that people are having me asking me asking me to work on uh doing a kid show and so i i part of a kid show that i'm doing is to do a couple of songs so i wrote one song so far and i got the idea for another one um and but i need a guitar i need to learn to play the guitar i've been trying to do it for 20 years and i couldn't do it and so over the last few days like 20 minutes a day sometimes even more uh i've been trying to learn guitar and oh my fingers hurt so bad on my uh what is this left hand my pointer finger my ring finger and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my left hand and my right hand finger the tips of them they hurt i didn't know that i'd heard oh it's gonna hurt a little bit no it hurts a lot bit and now every time i touch anything my fingers are like oh i hope he's not making us play the guitar but i'm not i'm just standing i just put my fingers down it just hurts but it's cool man this is the first time so i figured out all these chords there's like uh wait well first let's see it's e d g b i forgot how the strings go well here's the chords i learned and i learned an e chord an a chord an e minor an a minor a g a d a c a d7 a d7 what so i've started to figure all these chords out and the more i do them the more my fingers seem to kind of know what they're supposed to do um and then so last night what i did was i was like all right let's try to take all these things that i'm starting to figure out and then let's put them into a song and so what song did i figure out um i went i went and i went i went and i went and i found the chords for oh if you're happy and you know it so it's like a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum like that and um so i practiced that a lot last night and then this morning i got up and i practiced it a few times and i was like kids gather round and uh which for them means that they have to they pretend they're their jackets like they actually get on me and they hold on like their coats like i've made like i'm cruella deville making coats of my children for me and i was just like no no no back away back away dada has something amazing to show you and they were like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and they were like no and i was like the strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum actually it wasn't like that it was like strum string string string and ollie got excited emmer was just like no no no and i was like please emmer was just like no no no and i was like please

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #286 – Selling Cars

    Bumperpodcast #286 – Selling Cars

    Rufus T. Rufus is back, and selling blue cars? Meanwhile, Bumpercar jibber-jabbers!

    Do you like blue?

    Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In episode 286 of Bumperpodcast, Rufus T. Rufus attempts to sell used blue cars as podcast sponsorships while host Natty Bumpercar is away. Natty returns to discover Rufus's car sales scheme and shares his obsession with blue cars versus his current green vehicle. The episode takes a personal turn as Natty recounts a chaotic week of illness, snow days with his kids, sledding adventures, and the challenges of parenting exhausted children. He also discusses his recent comedy shows including performances at an American Legion and a club audition in the city. The episode captures the show's signature blend of puppet humor and real-life parenting struggles.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Every day I wake up, and I look at the green car, and I'm like, oh, you're not a blue car. Not a blue car. Not a blue car. And it's caused me to have a very difficult time to make an emotional connection to this car.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You can't be alone when there's two you can be alone when you're by yourself and he was like no that's his debating technique no and I was just like ah foiled again.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Act quickly. Act now. Act right. Act tight. I'm Rufus T. Rufus, and I am selling you cars.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #parenting #snow #cars #comedy #entrepreneurship #winter #familylife #exhaustion

    Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Rufus T. Rufus: world where will it isn't rufus d rufus and as i see it nobody using this podcast for nothing and so what i've done is i've gone out and i have sold us some sponsorships to bring some money into my wallet of course into the piggy bank for everybody as well you're gonna get your cut but uh we are gonna be selling used vehicles here uh since bumper car ain't been making no bumper podcast i figured i would slide in and take opportunity of the opportunity if you understand what i'm saying so with that being said who is in the market for a two thousand uh i don't even know a blue car who who would like a car from the year 2000 it's it's it's i can make a very good deal on it i've got four of them what different shades of blue one is more of an aquamarine one is more of a i don't know a tear course i suppose so go come and get those let me know in the comments hey rufus what are you doing oh rufus well Hello there, bumper, bumper, bumper car. How you doing today?

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm fine, but did I just hear you selling cars on the bumper podcast? Because I kind of need a car, and I like blue cars. Normally, I would get really upset with you and yell at you or whatever. Hey, what are you doing here? But, you know, I have a weak spot for blue cars. My other car is a blue car, and then when we got a new car, I wanted the blue car, but they didn't have any blue ones, and so it was going to be three weeks, and we didn't have three weeks to wait, and so we got a green car, and every day I wake up, and I look at the green car, and I'm like, oh, you're not a blue car. Not a blue car. Not a blue car. And it's caused me to have a very difficult time to make an emotional connection to this car. Is that weird? Yeah, it's a little strange. I don't know. You tell me.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, it's completely understandable, because as your listeners have heard, I have four blue cars. What's that? We have three. Now, we have sold one. We have four. We have four blue cars left. Three, excuse me. I get excited. So, if you want to get in on this deal, you got to get in while you can. The turquoise one is gone. That's the one. They said that's high on the market, and that's what people want to buy. And so somebody slipped in and took it away from me.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, I don't even… That's fine with me, because I don't care about turquoise. I mean, I got like blue, blue. Like a navy blue. Like a midnight blue. Like, it's like blue. Like, I like turquoise to me. Not blue. Kind of islandy. Which is fine if you're from an island, but I just want… I want to pick out the crayon in the box, and I want it to say blue. Not teal, not turquoise, not blue-green, not green-blue. Okay. Just blue.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, it just so happens that in this series of cars that I have here to sell, that there are now three, and two of them are what I would define as blue. As plain old blue, as you call it. As blue as the night sky and the sweetest of months. And the sweetest… So, with that being said…

    Natty Bumpercar: What's the sweetest of months mean? I don't understand. You confuse me. Listen, here's what we're going to do. Here. Because I do have to record an actual bumper podcast now. I understand, I understand.

    Rufus T. Rufus: No problem.

    Natty Bumpercar: I appreciate you having cars. I will come and take a look at them, the ones that are blue, after. If they're still left, if they're still left. And good on you for showing some initiative. Trying to… I assume this was all going to go to the bumper podcast, to headquarters, to everyone here, and all the money you were going to make?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, well, no. No, we did have a deal. We had an agreement that I needed you to sign. You understand? There was dividends and functionalities of monies that were… We're going to be passed around to everybody. So, we were going to figure that out on the back end, if you understand what I'm saying here. I guess I do. I don't know. So, I'm going to go. I got to go. I got another phone call coming in. Oh, nice. Hopefully, if it's for one of these cars, if you want to get in, act quickly. Act now. Act right. Act tight. I'm Rufus T. Rufus, and I am selling you cars.

    Natty Bumpercar: Thank you so much, Rufus T. Rufus. So, that was interesting. So, I'm Natty Bumpercar, and this is the Bumper Podcast, and it's been a couple of weeks, and I hate it when that happens, but I was sick. The kids were sick. Last week, we actually had snow, and I sat down with the kids to record a podcast about the snow, because they went sledding, and there was all this big fun, and man, it was a disaster. It was the most train wrecky of train wreckies ever. Like, I've got one set ahead for me, and I've got one set ahead for my kids, and they both want the headphones, so they both fight over the headphones, which means it's on one's head, and the other is pulling them, and then lets go, and it snaps, and then it hits the ear, and then there's crying, and then there's a punch. Ha, ha, ha. It's just, it's not a good, a conducive environment for creating a podcast, is what I'm telling you. We got like, I don't know, like 10 or 11 inches, which isn't crazy, and it's really only, I mean, our second snow of the year, but the day it's snowing, it's real wet outside, and it's really windy. It was super cold windy, but the first snowflake started to fall. The kids were like, we gotta go outside. We gotta snowball fight, snowman, sledding, and I was just like, no. It was like blizzard-ish. Like, you would look out the window, and all you, it was just like a whiteout, where all you would see is snowflakes everywhere, and I was just like, I'm not going, I'm not going out in that. Like, and this was at nine in the morning, that they wanted to go outside. And I was like, we're gonna have to wait a little while, but the snow's gonna be gone. The snow's not gonna be gone. It's here for a few days. Relax. So, it was a big fun day. I think at 11 or 12, I went out and had to shovel the driveway, and the front walk thing, drive park, what is it called? Sidewalk, that's what it's called. So, and that's like, 60 feet away. So, and that's like, 60 feet long, which is really long. So, by the time I was done, I felt like I was gonna die. And, and, and, and M was furious at me, because he was like, you wouldn't snowball fight with me. And I was like, I was shoveling. Daddy is tired and I was shoveling. Leave me be, boy. And then, later in the day, they finally, they, fine, we're gonna go sledding. So, we packed everything up, drove in the treacherous roads to the hills, the, and there's a hill in town that everyone goes to. And, we were there for an hour, 45 minutes an hour, it was, it was fine. I was freezing, I did not enjoy it. I don't like cold, I'm not good at cold, I'm not built for cold. And, but they were fine, they went up and down the hill, and up and down the hill, and up and down the hill. And, I need, I need new boots, I need new gloves, I need to move. move to the beach that's really you know what i could i could do without the gloves and the boots uh i just need to move to warmer climates is what it turns out uh i'm not i'm just not not built not built for it and then we got home and i think we i mean like we did everything for the kid we're like yeah here's this yeah here's this he played a little video games which is a special treat because we don't do that during the week and he was just like you guys don't ever let me do anything we're like but we but we did and i oh and i went i got him chinese food i went out to the place and i got him chinese food and i was like but we played in the snow and then we went sledding and then you got chinese food and uh oh then you played video game like i was just giving him the list the rundown and he was like no and i was just like yes so what i'm saying is you should have kids if you want to go crazy you should have kids it's fun it's great they don't sleep they keep you awake i was so tired last night i was in the um i was in the begging mode please just go to sleep daddy is so tired no i want you to sleep in here with us no i'm so tired please please please let daddy sleep no we're all alone in here and i was like you're not alone in here there's two of you you can't be alone when there's two you can be alone when you're by yourself and he was like no that's his debating technique no and i was just like ah foiled again so i finally got him down to sleep and then man i was i slept great i felt like a champ when i woke up and now i got tired again why is that why do i get tired so much so quickly because i ate that bagel oh what's up bagel time love me some bagels i had a big week last week too i had um uh what did i have last week i had three shows i had a show i had a show friday saturday sunday and monday but friday i had to cancel because we had plans um which is weird to can't i don't like shows but the uh saturday show was great it was at an american legion it was for a benefit the sunday show was great fun and then monday was like an audition for a club in the city and i haven't heard anything back but that night they seemed like they liked me so i don't know i don't know you know it's weird you just keep putting yourself out here's what comedians do it'll be like man i'm putting myself out there i'm grinding i'm doing this to work i'm putting in work and you're just like just gosh just go tell jokes silly boy or girl just what are you doing nobody don't don't tell me about you grinding i don't want to hear about you grinding man i was grating what were you grating cheese i was grating cheese putting in work for my pizza what you were doing what

    Unknown: you did to me it was really it was it was full of crap you you you you you you you you you you you

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #182: Snow

    Bumperpodcast #182: Snow

    Natty Bumpercar doesn’t love snow, and he’s afraid of alligators.

    Do you like snow? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Alligators are dinosaurs!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to headquarters for a special recording session in episode 182 of Bumperpodcast. After setting up his equipment at home, Natty shares his strong opinions about snow and the exhausting process of getting children ready to play outside in winter weather. He humorously describes the irony of spending thirty minutes bundling up kids who only last a minute and a half in the snow. The episode takes an unexpected turn when Natty recounts a harrowing childhood encounter with an alligator while riding his bicycle through Florida marshlands, adding his characteristic comedic storytelling to the tale.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I love watching it on tv maybe getting some sort of status update from the snow. It's like hey I'm falling, I'm like cool good for you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Really we just spent the last half hour getting you ready to come out here and play in the snow and now you're done really?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're going downhill you see this thing you can't stop you can't turn around so you just gotta gun it and I did and I'm still here to tell the tale.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #snow #parenting #childhoodmemories #florida #alligators #weather

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: after many moons and many stars and many far away things i'm back in headquarters and i'm recording on my actual recording equipment which is the best news ever for me and the best news for you but don't get used to it because it's probably for just this week i forgot something at home and i had to come all the way back to headquarters and then i looked at the time and i was like oh i've got time and i was like do i have time and i was like oh i have got some time and so i fired up the old equipment and then nothing worked and so then i used all the time that i thought i was gonna have to uh set everything back up and get everything working and it was so exciting and so thrilling that i was like i can't not record i have to record how could i not i'm here everything's set up and if i leave then everything's gonna get unset up and then it's all gonna vicious cycle i you know what i had to do wipe the slate clean and so here we are bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car coming to you as live as i get from headquarters on a very snowy day outside uh the uh the snow is deep and cold and icy and not pleasant not a fan of snow uh i love watching it on tv maybe getting uh you know some sort of status update about from the snow it's like hey i'm falling i'm like cool good for you good falling hey look at me i'm adrift now oh you're adrift that's great good for you love to hear it love to hear your update you know or maybe like get my end of the year kind of like here's what happened with the family this year oh great oh cool snow that sounds like so much fun but to actually be around it not so much no to walk through it to drive through it to uh have uh uh the tiny bumper cars that are like look at the snow and then you all right let's go out in the snow and then you got to get them all dressed up and here's your boots and here's your jacket i don't want to wear my jacket you put your jacket on i don't want to put my jacket on if you want to go outside you're gonna put your jacket on i don't want to put my jacket on i want to play in the snow what so you want to play in the snow naked because that's not allowed like i will go to jail if i allow my children to play in the snow naked and i you know what i'm not even uh boycotting that or saying that's a bad thing i think it's good that parents who send their kids out in the snow naked go to jail kids gotta have clothes on it's cold you can get frostbite you can lose tiny fingers tiny baby fingers and i don't want that to happen so then you go through the whole process getting them dressed and then they like burst out of the the front door like little cannonballs and then like they slip fall face first into the snow inside i want to go in so really we just spent the last half hour getting you ready to come out here and play in the snow and now you're done really all right let's go back inside nope can't go in the house yet let's stand here in the foyer and uh start uh unlayering and brushing the snow off and you know then the only one who's covered in snow at the end of the whole thing is daddy that's me meanwhile the they get to luxuriate they get to hang out in a nice warm bathtub uh that i i've filled for them and i also uh if i'm feeling really nice i'm gonna make them hot chocolate for what for being out in the snow for a minute and a half it's silliness god do you have snow where you are is it snowing there now just move we should all move i don't know where does cal does california have snow i know they like to party but i don't know if they have snow florida a little muggy little too many alligators can't do that i'm afraid of alligators did i tell you by the time when i was riding my bicycle this was a long time ago and i was like probably 12 14 through some woodland trails like in some marshes down near florida and uh and then i see up on the trail what is it i don't know i don't know oh a crocodile or an alligator it's an alligator and i was just like but he was probably like uh you know 15 18 whatever he was a little ways away from me and i was riding a bicycle as fast as i possibly could you know but it was a situation where you're going downhill you see this thing you can't stop you can't turn around so you just gotta gun it and i did and i'm still here to tell the tale he didn't even move i don't even know if he blinked he probably was just some sort of a uh statue

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #152 – Back in the saddle

    Bumperpodcast #152 – Back in the saddle

    Thrilled to be back in the saddle – with heat and power – Bumpercar talks about things like snowmen cotton candy.

    He also thinks that his fridge smells funny.

    Do you know any snowmen? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – We’d love to meet them!

    All of the snowmen!

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after weather-related delays to share his relief about having heat and power restored. He humorously rambles about the bizarre weather pattern that brought snow right after a hurricane, making the episode late. Natty playfully experiments with different voices while discussing Einstein's E=mc² and reflects on the simple pleasures he missed during the power outage, like taking showers and having food in his fridge. The episode takes a whimsical turn as he contemplates what a snowman might smell like and whether snowmen would enjoy cotton candy.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have heat thank you I have power thank you and there's snow everywhere there's snow everywhere what there was just a hurricane last like last week”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm terrified that if I fill it up again it's all gonna go bad and then smell funny because that's what happens when I put food in my fridge the whole world loses power”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You know what I want to smell poinsettias and freshly cooked bread and I don't know maybe snowman cotton candy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #weather #poweroutage #rambling #science #food #snowman #winter

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it is i don't know what today it is i don't know what today it is is what i just said maybe i'm a leprechaun now i don't know i don't know what today it is oh shillily i'm not sure what tomorrow tis well that one actually kind of made sense i don't know what today tis though doesn't really make a lot of sense but i do know a couple of things one i have heat thank you i have power thank you and there's snow everywhere there's snow everywhere what there was just a hurricane last like last week i mean this this this episode is late because of what because of the weather i mean like i i can only use that excuse so many times bumper podcast but here i am talking to you with my big bumper car voice coming at you low coming at you low and i don't know where i'm coming at you low and slow low and slow i'm not sure did you notice am i i sounded i not saying that all people who talk like that sounded but i myself sounded a little bit dumb when i said that let's try it again and see if i can sound smart saying low and slow no e equals mc squared no i can't i absolutely can't do it you have to be like this well e actually equals mc uh squared and what was that noise what was that noise it was like a it was like a like i won something it's like a magical something just happened i was discussing uh how to sound smart and then uh boom boom i don't know how i can't make the noise i i am not a noise maker i am a maker of noise can you tell me a little bit giddy today bumper podcast it's because i've missed you i've missed sitting in this seat i've missed uh feeling my toes i've missed taking showers i've missed having food in my fridge i've missed eating food i've missed eating food i've missed having food in my fridge wait no there is still not food in my fridge because why i'm terrified that if i fill it up again it's all gonna go bad and then smell funny because that's what happens when i put food in my fridge the whole world loses power and then i gotta smell rotten peas and i don't want to smell that you know what i want to smell poinsettias and uh freshly cooked bread and uh i don't know maybe snowman uh cotton candy do they even eat that i don't know it seems to me like the snowman would get all kinds of sticky from the cotton candy oh man poor snowman

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe