Tag: sick

  • Bumperpodcast 48 – Revolt

    Bumperpodcast 48 – Revolt

    Robot is back to take the helm – because the house is in revolt! Evidently, Natty Bumpercar is way too busy to draw stuff and make stuff and phot stuff and talk stuff and joke stuff and stuff stuff – – – so – – – the rest of the house has decided to pick up a bit of the slack for him.

    Because if they don’t . . . then the stink bugs win – and that can never happen!

    Wait until the Bumpercar gets a load of this!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 48, Robot seizes an opportunity to host the show while Natty Bumpercar is sick and unavailable. Robot enthusiastically attempts to create his own "robot podcast" and wonders aloud why Natty usually doesn't let him near the microphone. After mocking Natty's illness and calling him "mad," Robot is caught red-handed by Natty himself, who bursts in to kick Robot out of the recording room. The sick and exhausted Natty reasserts control over his podcast duties before heading off to rest, leaving listeners with a glimpse of the chaos that ensues when Robot gets his hands on the equipment.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Maddie Bumpercar usually doesn't let me in the room to talk and talk and talk and talk. I wonder why. I have very interesting things to say.”

    — Robot

    “You knew exactly what you were doing, robot. Get out of the room. What did I tell you? No microphone for the robot.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #robot #hosting #illness #podcasthijinks #technology #behindthescenes

    Featuring: Robot, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Robot: Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, everybody, it's me, Robot. Is this, is this going to leave it on? I'm not sure how it works. Maddie bugs her car. Usually doesn't let me in the room to talk and talk and talk and talk. I wonder why. I have very interesting things to say. I really do. So. Now, here's the scoop. Evidently, Maddie Bumpercar is too busy doing whatever it is that he does to come up and make a bumper podcast for you. So, I've decided to make a robot, robot, robot podcast. I probably should have written that down first. A robot podcast.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Robot: It just rolls off the transistors, doesn't it? We really don't know where he is. The bumper car, I'm saying. He was so sick last week.

    Unknown: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

    Robot: I'm sick. I'm Maddie Bumpercar. I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm mad.

    Natty Bumpercar: What? Robot, what are you doing over there? You don't, you knew exactly what you were doing, robot. Get out of the room. Now, scoop. Now, scoop. What am I, scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop. What did I tell you? No microphone for the robot. Listen, I've been kind of sick. I was sick last week. I'm sick this week. And I don't need you guys coming in and doing my job for me. for me i'm gonna do a bumper podcast i'm gonna do the website i'm gonna go to sleep now because i'm exhausted oh boy

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  • Bumperpodcast 47 – Sniffles

    Bumperpodcast 47 – Sniffles

    WE ARE IN AN ABSOLUTE TAILSPIN OF SICKNESS.

    Oops! Caps lock was on . . .

    BUT – WE ARE IN AN ABSOLUTE TAILSPIN OF SICKNESS!! WITH SNIFFLES AND COLDS AND RUNNY NOSES AND SNEEZES AND BLECH!

    Stand back . . . We may be catching.

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 47, host Natty Bumpercar hilariously laments his miserable state after catching a cold from his son, who recently started daycare. Natty rambles deliriously about his declining health, admitting he doesn't exercise, rarely leaves his chair, and only flosses before dentist appointments. After two weeks of being sick, he's finally going to the doctor—something he never does. Between jokes about feeling worse than garbage and requesting "chicken snoodle soup" (with a chicken and a poodle), Natty delivers a fever-fueled, self-deprecating monologue that showcases his comedic timing even while under the weather.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I would say that I feel like garbage but that would be giving garbage a bad name.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Somebody bring me a chicken and a poodle with some soup. I think it's the only way I'm gonna get out of this tail bed.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #daycare #health #self-deprecatinghumor #doctorvisit

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh it's my nose it's my nose and it's my head and it's my eyes and it's my aches and it's my tired and it's my sneezing oh bumper podcast it's so early in the season and already the sickness has taken over the house yeah that's right the boy the tidiest one among us has been shipped off to daycare he came back a different person he came back someone who gives out sickness he's patient zero yeah that's right but here's the thing i had heard that the baby was gonna get sick i was well aware this was gonna happen and i had heard the baby was gonna get sick and i had heard that i was gonna get sick but so soon how could it possibly happen so soon i'm a strapping young man i'm the pinnacle of health i mean i don't exercise i don't particularly eat right i don't get out of my chair for probably 14 hours of the day but i like to think of myself you know i have a little sparkle in my eye there's orange juice in the fridge uh so i i mean i in theory i'm close to it i floss my teeth when i you know a week before i go to the dentist and what's not healthy about that i walk the dog i don't know i don't know what i'm trying to tell you about for podcast i think i think i might be uh delirious with fever i think i might you know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i actually have to i'm going to the doctor today guess what i don't do guess what natty bumper guard don't do he don't go to the doctor when he's sick but this has been two weeks of sick i'm sick of being sick i said to someone the other day i would say that i feel like garbage but that would be giving garbage a bad name and then i was i didn't want to laugh at my own little joke i thought it was a cute little joke because it's just like i'm worse off i'm worse off than garbage oh oh i don't feel good bumper podcast somebody bring me some chicken chicken snoodle soup somebody bring me a chicken and a poodle with some soup i think it's the only way i'm gonna get out of this tail bed i don't i don't even know

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  • Bumperpodcast 39 – Jelly

    Bumperpodcast 39 – Jelly

    Is it possible that there was mold in my jelly?

    What happens to people that get sick in June?

    Why am I dancing all around?

    These are some of the things that I babble about today – on the Bumperpodcast!

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

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  • Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Sooooooo sickly . . . Everyone had been hobbled by the funk. Now figers are being pointed. Fingers are being waggled.
    It is a rough scene.

    **cough** **cough** **cough**

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

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    About This Episode

    In episode 28 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar records while battling a terrible cold that has infected the entire household. Between labored breathing and cold medicine-induced confusion, Natty rambles about the mysterious origins of the illness and whether the baby brought it home. The episode features Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness style as he struggles through foggy thinking, missed trains of thought, and the universal truth that when the baby is sick, nobody sleeps. This deliriously funny episode captures what it's like to parent while feeling completely miserable.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have to breathe to stay alive. It's one of my little defects. A lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but I do.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and I just saw the train roll off. I have my ticket and I missed it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “When the baby's sick nobody sleeps. Nobody. No one. Know how. No sleep bumper podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #coldmedicine #sleepdeprivation #babies #rambling #sickness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh the sickness has gotten this bumper podcast it's it's in the house we couldn't stop it we had the windows open we had the windows shut we had doors and then i don't go outside i don't talk to people i don't even i don't even talk to people the first one was i don't see people the second one was i don't talk to people how do i get sick do you hear my nose it's i can't breathe i have to breathe to stay alive it's a known fact natty bumper car has to breathe to stay alive it's one of my little defects a lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but i do and now when this is done i'm not the only one who's sick is sick and now there's finger pointing there's finger waggling people are waggling their fingers at each other because they're saying what did did the baby get us all sick well he's a baby he doesn't go outside was it the mommy who got us sick we don't really use the term mommy and daddy at this point we're just like hey you yes you pick up that baby we're very general around the house we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to you know start saying you're you're the mom you're the dad because you know bumper podcast let's be frank we're not really sure about any of it not well hold on we're sure about who's what and who's who i should point that out oh i've gotten confused bumper podcast i have to say cold medicine is deliriously delir silly if i stuff it not it knocks you on your mental tuchus which is where i am and now i've completely lost my train of thought i am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and i just saw the train roll off i have my ticket i paid for a ticket i have my ticket and i and i missed it i missed the train did i mention that i'm sick i don't do well when i'm sick bumper podcast i i wallow in sickness i fail in sickness i want to go to sleep so bad but the baby's sick and when the baby's sick nobody sleeps nobody no one know how no sleep bumper podcast

  • Sick of Sick

    I can’t even tell you guys how done I am with getting super-crazy-ugly sick . . . It has happened like 4 times (already) this winter and we still have awhile to go.
    I think that my immune system must be operating like a sieve at this point . . . keeping all of the major stuff – like rickets, crickets, and tomfolio – away – but then pulling every other ne’er-do-well bug right to the front of the line – where they are allowed to just sprinkle – sprinkle – sprinkle all over my poor self.
    For the last two nights – I was in such a non-breathing pickle – that I had to sleep on the couch . . . and last night I had to sleep sitting up – on the couch – because I kept having to pop up hiccuping and gasping for air . . . when I basically just stopped breathing.
    Boo – body – I say thee BOO!