Tag: Science

  • Bumperpodcast #284 – Overabundance

    Bumperpodcast #284 – Overabundance

    Bumpercar starts off rough – finds out that there’s no back button, talks about science, sings some songs, and then says something about the potty. It’s an overabundant episode!

    Do you like overabundance?

    Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 284, Natty Bumpercar shares his chaotic yet hilarious bedtime routine with his kids. After taking a strategic 27-minute nap, Natty dives into a lengthy discussion about science before recounting his challenging evening. He reads five books to his sons, sings custom songs including variations of 'Rocket Ship' and 'Ali Li La,' only to have his younger son reject his musical offerings. The episode highlights Natty's struggles with potty training rewards, multiple bathroom trips, and an awkward encounter at school where he calls a kid by the wrong name. Through it all, Natty's exhausted but loving approach to parenting shines through with plenty of self-deprecating humor.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I don't talk to people that often because I get my feelings hurt.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You need to be nice to daddy… and you know what he said? No. I was just like oh this is not a good debate.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You can't just break it up into multiple prizes, that's not the way it's going to work.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #bedtimeroutine #science #pottytraining #children #music #sleep #familylife

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car it was a weird way for me to start i want to start over i want to start over what there's no back button so i'm gonna just sound like yeah bumper podcast forever i i'm pretty sure there's a back button no ah okay hi bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and uh last week i was super tired and sleepy this week i'm less tired and sleepy which is good i actually just took a nap i dropped the kids off early at school and uh then i came home and slept for 27 minutes i set my alarm for 27 minutes because i didn't want to go over 30 minutes because at that point the nap is actually gonna make you more tired which isn't true but that's what they tell you how is that even possible oh you got more sleep minutes more sleep then you're more tired sorry mom and but it's some sort of uh thing where you go into your deep sleep mode your REM sleep whatever it's called i can't i don't know the words i ain't i ain't no scientist hey bumper podcast let's get this straight we believe in science here at bumper podcast land at headquarters we love science all right you know why because science is backed up by things called facts science is backed up by things called data all right i was never super good at science in school but you know what i'm not a scientist that's for them to do but you know what i like to do believe in science all right let's i just wanted to establish that and i wanted to uh you know physical science sure earth science might be the same thing i don't know physics that's probably science right physiology it has ph at the beginning which wait science doesn't have oh god why have i gotten to this educated conversation with you and i haven't done any research ah research what is that that's science natty bumper car ah perfect you science is great so we should continue studying science and doing science and believing in science because science is the science behind science so back to me being awake i'm so waked woke i'm so woke i'm so waked i don't know how i don't see i don't know i don't talk to people that often i talk to big obviously uh and here's why i don't talk to people that often is because i don't because i get my feelings hurt uh last night i was putting the boys to bed and uh i read like five books five or six books i was like a book reading machine i was enjoying it normally i read one book per kid sing songs and i'm out but last night i was having a good time reading and so i just kind of kept going and i was like boom let's go to the next book bow let's go to the next book and the more i read to them the more uh tired they get and the more they kind of settle into bed easier which makes my whole experience better because here's what i don't like if i go up and i read and i get out quick i know they're gonna come out of the bed 10 10 12 times out of the room right daddy which i can't stand it drives me crazy it drives me bananas but so what i like to do is i'm just gonna do the work up front right i'm gonna make sure i give them pats i'm patting i'm patting so if i'm in there 25 minutes 30 minutes whatever that's cool because it's a nice 25 30 minutes for the most part right it's relaxed i'm reading books i'm singing the songs i'm calming them down no running around no toys ah let's lay down get your head on your pillow hey get your head on your pillow nope this is see there's this is your pillow i would like for your head don't kick the wall why are you kicking the wall i want your head where's your head perfect i want your head on your pillow point to your pillow point a point to the pillow that's not a pillow where's your pillow thank you now put your head on it and now you lay back down because i got two of them in the same room on opposite sides of the room and so they're both going back and forth it's like i'm looking it's like my head's on a swivel at all times anyway so i like to do the work up front so i don't have to go back up invariably you still gotta go up but for the most part it just seems easier to me so i uh last night five books in five books deep the big kid he is he is down for the count he is like i am out sing me some songs this is great you're the best data and i'm like yes i am and then i sing my songs i go uh rocket ship rocket ship way up high rocket ship rocket ship in the sky rocket ship rocket ship way up far rocket ship rocket ship in the stars and i go through the litany of songs i go through uh ali li la who's a pig for me ali li la just gather around and we'll see got a pig over here and a pig over there there's a pig pig pig pig everywhere said ali li la who's a pig for me ali li la who's a pig for me one more time ali li la who's a pig for me and on and on and on emerson passes out boom done gone perfect go over to ali i start singing him songs no i don't want you to sing songs those aren't the songs i want you to sing i want you to sing the songs from the book i don't know where the book is buddy let's just he's like i don't know where the book is you know the book yes i do i know the book i just don't know where the book is i don't like you i don't like your songs he's so mean to me at night and i was just like buddy i know some of the songs from the book so i can just sing them to you fine so then i start singing i'm like um uh he's like muffin man muffin man muffin man like he's in the crowd like he's like calling out songs for me to sing muffin man muffin man i was like all right oh do you know the muffin man and on and on right and then i went from muffin man to uh three blind mice and he just loses his mind he's just like why would you go to three blind mice from muffin man and i was like because it just seemed like a nice song it came into my head i know it's in the book he's like no and i was like fine john jacob jingle hymer and he she was just like get out get out get out get out you can find the book get the book you're not doing it and i was like there is no right i'm just singing songs to you i read you a lot of but i was like listen listen you listen you need to be nice you need to be nice to daddy you need to be really you need to be especially nice to everyone in the world but you need to be super nice to mommy and daddy and emerson and and socks because we're your family and listen i take care of you i just read you five books i just i'm singing your heart out songs and you're you need to be nicer and he was you know what he said no i was just like oh this is not a good debate this is i am not winning this debate currently so i was like fine all right i gave him a kiss in the head i said i love you so much and i'm leaving and i left the room and i went downstairs and i was just like i'm not i that's i'm not doing it not doing it not doing it if i'm gonna give my all and i'm gonna get that kind of response i'm not gonna do it so 10 minutes later daddy he's opened the door gotta go potty all right and we are in we are in the midst of some diaper free zone we have he has pushed the diapers away and he has said i am going for a full night with no diapers which is terrifying he's also going poopy on the potty all on his own decision and out of nowhere three days in we are now you so you run upstairs all right buddy let's go pee boom he goes pee goes back in the room four minutes later daddy gotta go i gotta go poops poops oh okay so you run upstairs you set set everything up get him on the get him on the toilet help him out yes he poops in the potty awesome now when he poops in the potty he gets like a prize a reward or whatever because we're trying to make sure he keeps doing it awesome clean him up wash my hands get him back into bed go downstairs yeah he did it this is this is working out and he was nice all right awesome so that that that worked too that conversation four minutes later door opens again this is the third door open daddy i gotta go poop again he poops again poops again but this poop was everywhere it was it was a back in the bed you don't get a prize this time he's like where's my prize it's like you only get one prize a night one prize you can't just you know break it up into multiple prizes that's not the way it's going to work seven minutes later door opens again he doesn't have to go to the bathroom this time he's just now he's just tested now he's just pushing boundaries and uh his mom goes up and she's oh she's not happy she takes away uh the ducks he got he got a duck a little plastic duck for uh going on the potty ducks gone sprinkles gone uh what's his name chasey gone he's got little uh little stuffed animals and gave them all names and now i gotta know these animals names i can't keep up i don't i can't i went to his school yesterday because he said he wanted to have a play date with a kid and and after school um he calls the kid partner i was just like he was just like i want to have a play date with partner and i was like who's partner that's an awesome name i want to meet a partner and so after school i was just like buddy your partner right and the kid dropped his head looked so sad he was just like no i'm not what like why would you call me partner that's not my name and it was it was some other name like phil or i don't know what his name was but the kid was totally freaked out because i called him the wrong name and i was like buddy it's okay relax it's good whatever your name is

    Unknown: you

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  • Bumperpodcast #193: Knowledge, Science, Smarts

    Bumperpodcast #193: Knowledge, Science, Smarts

    Natty Bumpercar proves that he may be the smartest scientist in the entire planet – maybe even on the whole world with this weeks thesis riddled Bumperpodcast!

    Do you science? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In episode 193 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar delivers an energetic and hilarious monologue about the mysteries of autumn leaves. After enjoying baby muffins for breakfast, Natty spirals into wild theories about why leaves fall from trees, including dinosaurs and earthquakes, and disappointingly confirms that brown leaves are not made of chocolate. The episode takes comedic turns as Natty reflects on their overeager classroom habits of shouting out answers before questions were even asked. This quintessential Bumperpodcast episode combines observational humor about nature with Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness comedy style.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The brown ones okay i know for a fact are not chocolate you would think you're like oh look brown leaves those are clearly made of chocolate they're not made of chocolate people”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I had baby muffins for breakfast baby muffins are the best kind of muffins in the whole wide world because they're not they're not jaded yet”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I would just sit in class and yell out answers uh there were no questions being asked uh we were supposed to be reading and maybe coloring”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #autumn #leaves #science #breakfast #education #nature #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what's going on with the leaves what's going on with the trees what's going on with the world everywhere i look there's just leaves all over the ground it's like they all fell off the trees all at the same time was there a big earthquake was there a dinosaur was there some sort of monster that came through the world and the planet and knocked all the leaves off why and why did when they fell off did they decided they just go turn red and orange is that leaf blood because if it is that's kind of gross because that means that it was just walking all around leaf blood and then the brown ones okay i know for a fact are not chocolate you would think you're like oh look brown leaves those are clearly made of chocolate they're not made of chocolate people come on this is one thing you're going to get from the bumper podcast today it's going to be science it's going to be stuff that you're going to take home and you're going to think about a little bit you're going to be like you know what that bumper car he knows what he's talking about that bumper car he makes sense he seems pretty amped today he seems pretty excited today what was what did what did he have for breakfast not obviously not chocolate leaves because now we know they don't exist and you know what that's a little too personal don't ask me what i had for breakfast because i don't i don't remember no wait a minute i'll tell you i had baby muffins for breakfast baby muffins are the best kind of muffins in the whole wide world because they're not they're not jaded yet is that's the theme song that i'm working on for them but they're tiny muffins tiny blueberry muffins that i actually cut the tops off of i had three of them cut the tops off of put a little bit of butter on uh the base and then on the top and put them in the toaster oven and but i didn't toast them too much because i didn't want crunchy uh baby muffins i just wanted that butter to melt on in and then i ate them and guess who's having the best day uh ever right now me what i didn't give you a time to guess all right i'm not good at games that's why i don't host game shows guys that's why there's no family game night here at headquarters with the bumper cars because i'm just i get excited and if i know the answer to something i don't even raise my hand i just scream it out used to get in trouble in school all the time for that just i would be like two is two two then and the number the answer is two everyone knows everyone knows that right two it's two what the answer is piscataway what but i i thought we were all in agreement that it was two but no we're not we're not no no one no one agreed at any point in time to jump on the band the bumper car bandwagon of question answering because a lot of times what i would do i would actually answer the question before the teacher had even gotten around to asking it okay let me just paint a picture for you really what i would do is i would just sit in class and yell out answers uh there were no questions being asked uh we were supposed to be reading and maybe coloring i don't know here's the thing though i got sick of chewing on my crayons and eating glue off my hand and and i decided that i needed to educate the people the masses of my in my classes and i did that i gave them all of the answers some of them they couldn't even handle some answers they weren't even ready for but i gave them to them so that so because i i had a feeling in my gut that that they needed to know what i what i had to tell them so really here's the thing i think if there's a theme to today's bumper podcast uh it's science obviously learning knowledge um we found out a little bit about leaves i still don't know why they're all on the ground no one confirmed with me the dinosaur theory that i was bandying about um all the dishes are still on the wall here so i'm guessing it was not an earthquake but uh they are definitely falling off the trees for some reason um if i go back through my data my uh my my that's what we call information here science in science land uh i i think i might find some interesting things about a timeline that maybe this this isn't the first time this happened maybe the leaves have fallen off the trees before you know and what that does is that gets us closer to an answer two see it's two it's not two it's never it's never two um it's not going to be two whatever the question that someone's going to ask you it's uh unlikely that the answer is going to be two because really it's just like zero one two you're not those are too easy for answers it's going to be like seven tween or ten till ten till ten till seven i don't know i don't know anything

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  • Bumperpodcast #180: Feeling Moderate

    Bumperpodcast #180: Feeling Moderate

    Natty Bumpercar is feeling a might bit better – and is thrilled with modern medical technology. Is it magic – or – is it science? He has no idea!

    How do you feel? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Feeling better is better than felling not better!

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 180, host Natty Bumpercar shares a humorous update on his battle with bronchitis while juggling single-dad duties. Fresh from a trip to the x-ray store with his four-year-old son in tow, Natty reflects on the simple joy of breathing and navigating medical appointments with a goldfish-eating, iPad-toting toddler. Between bouts of coughing and wheezing, he delivers a lighthearted monologue about rediscovering modern medicine, evolving from a single-cell organism, and the awkward comedy of being a contagious patient. This episode showcases Natty's signature conversational style and self-deprecating humor while dealing with everyday parenting challenges.

    Memorable Quotes

    “You don't realize how much you love to breathe until there's an elephant sitting on your chest and you can't do it anymore.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I devolved into a single cell organism and now I'm evolving again. I'm re-evolving into whatever I was before.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I get it, you don't want me to breathe on you, and she just chuckled like oh that's right sicky.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #breathing #bronchitis #x-ray #modernmedicine #familylife #health

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well is it the bumper podcast and am i feeling a little bit better yes and yes double yes yes yes hooray hooray yippy skippy i gotta tell you guys modern medicine kind of amazing uh i mean i'm still sick my throat still hurts i'm still tired i'm still stuffy uh but i still have goop coming out of my eyes uh but with all that i no longer feel um like there's an elephant sitting on my chest which is great because you don't realize how much you love to breathe until uh there's an elephant sitting on your chest and you can't do it anymore i think at that point you're like you know what i miss uh that breathing that breathing was great why i can't i hope i get to breathe again because everybody else in the world seems to be enjoying breathing and i'm looking at them over there and over there doing all their breathing rubbing into my face a little bit that they're just like look at me take a breath oh uh last night i've got so i've got bronchitis that's what i have uh but last night i uh i got to go to the uh x-ray place the x-ray store where you go and get your x-rays and uh and uh first thing that happened it was kind of funny to me because i walked in and i had a four-year-old baby bumper car with me he was toting the ipad and eating goldfish and uh drinking a juice box because that's how we roll but so i get to the front desk and the lady i sign in and everything and and she looks at me and looks down at him and says uh so um did you bring somebody to watch him and i was like oh oh oh i didn't i didn't bring anybody to watch him because the wife was at home with the baby who has all sorts of ear infections happening this is too much so then i was like oh yeah i'm getting an x-ray so he probably can't hang out in the room with me and get exposed to doses of x-ray radiation or whatever it is that they use to take the pictures i'm assuming it's it right is it radiation yes oh so um luckily you know it worked out because uh there was a changing room he sat in there he didn't move more than a half an inch and the lady from the front desk uh just kind of watched him and she was very nice and you know it was it was it was fine it was good but then i go in and the girl says so i had to take two i think two different pictures and she she said all right you gotta put your chest against this thing and she's like pushing contorting my shoulders and neck and chin and moving hands and arms and moving me all around and uh all right take a deep breath hold it hold it i did that and then as soon as it was time to let the breath out because again i'm still getting used to this whole how people breathe thing oh it hurt so bad i was coughing everywhere and uh i tried to get away from her but she had to come over and reconfigure me for a different picture and she said look that way and i said through the wheezing and gasping and coughing i was like i get it you don't want me to breathe on you and she just chuckled like oh that's right sicky i don't want you to breathe on me perfect so then she took the other picture breathe in hold it and that time a little bit better i'm telling you i'm really figuring this whole breathing thing out pretty soon uh i might be able to breathe through my nose which is going to be crazy i mean crazy crazy i'm evolving is what i'm telling you i devolved into a single cell organism and now i'm evolving again i'm re-evolving re-evolving into whatever whatever i was before awesome yeah of course so then i finished the thing go out he's still sitting there grab him we go get some dinner me and a kid it was a great night all the way around um so thanks for sticking in with me glad that you're glad that i'm so much better how are you feeling i realize i've spent this whole time talking about me that's not acceptable

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  • Bumperpodcast #152 – Back in the saddle

    Bumperpodcast #152 – Back in the saddle

    Thrilled to be back in the saddle – with heat and power – Bumpercar talks about things like snowmen cotton candy.

    He also thinks that his fridge smells funny.

    Do you know any snowmen? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – We’d love to meet them!

    All of the snowmen!

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar returns after weather-related delays to share his relief about having heat and power restored. He humorously rambles about the bizarre weather pattern that brought snow right after a hurricane, making the episode late. Natty playfully experiments with different voices while discussing Einstein's E=mc² and reflects on the simple pleasures he missed during the power outage, like taking showers and having food in his fridge. The episode takes a whimsical turn as he contemplates what a snowman might smell like and whether snowmen would enjoy cotton candy.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have heat thank you I have power thank you and there's snow everywhere there's snow everywhere what there was just a hurricane last like last week”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm terrified that if I fill it up again it's all gonna go bad and then smell funny because that's what happens when I put food in my fridge the whole world loses power”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You know what I want to smell poinsettias and freshly cooked bread and I don't know maybe snowman cotton candy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #weather #poweroutage #rambling #science #food #snowman #winter

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car it is i don't know what today it is i don't know what today it is is what i just said maybe i'm a leprechaun now i don't know i don't know what today it is oh shillily i'm not sure what tomorrow tis well that one actually kind of made sense i don't know what today tis though doesn't really make a lot of sense but i do know a couple of things one i have heat thank you i have power thank you and there's snow everywhere there's snow everywhere what there was just a hurricane last like last week i mean this this this episode is late because of what because of the weather i mean like i i can only use that excuse so many times bumper podcast but here i am talking to you with my big bumper car voice coming at you low coming at you low and i don't know where i'm coming at you low and slow low and slow i'm not sure did you notice am i i sounded i not saying that all people who talk like that sounded but i myself sounded a little bit dumb when i said that let's try it again and see if i can sound smart saying low and slow no e equals mc squared no i can't i absolutely can't do it you have to be like this well e actually equals mc uh squared and what was that noise what was that noise it was like a it was like a like i won something it's like a magical something just happened i was discussing uh how to sound smart and then uh boom boom i don't know how i can't make the noise i i am not a noise maker i am a maker of noise can you tell me a little bit giddy today bumper podcast it's because i've missed you i've missed sitting in this seat i've missed uh feeling my toes i've missed taking showers i've missed having food in my fridge i've missed eating food i've missed eating food i've missed having food in my fridge wait no there is still not food in my fridge because why i'm terrified that if i fill it up again it's all gonna go bad and then smell funny because that's what happens when i put food in my fridge the whole world loses power and then i gotta smell rotten peas and i don't want to smell that you know what i want to smell poinsettias and uh freshly cooked bread and uh i don't know maybe snowman uh cotton candy do they even eat that i don't know it seems to me like the snowman would get all kinds of sticky from the cotton candy oh man poor snowman

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  • Bumperpodcast 69 – Suspended!

    Bumperpodcast 69 – Suspended!

    I have to admit that I was hardly especting you … what a super-tremendous surprise to see you there … I was on my way to the laboratory to suspend some peaches – so – I suppose that we talk about that – on this episode of the Bumperpodcast!

    Don’t forget to email me your questions, musings and whatnot at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Hooray!

     

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    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 69, Natty Bumpercar sets out to do some science in the laboratory, planning to create a gelatin dessert with suspended fruit. He muses about the significance of circled dates on calendars and shares his fascination with gelatin's ability to suspend cherries and peaches in time. Natty also provides an update on the new headquarters in Caldwell, where unseasonably cold weather has forced everyone to huddle around barrel fires and forage for firewood. Instead of frolicking in shorts as they should be during warm weather, the crew can only focus on staying warm and eating gelatin.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's half a cherry it's just suspended it's not going anywhere it's stuck right there forever at least until I eat it and then I don't know what happens to it because I'm done with it at that point.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It's the time of year to be warm to be hot to be steamy to wear shorts to run around to frolic to play but we can't do that instead all we can do is eat gelatin.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #science #desserts #gelatin #weather #newheadquarters #caldwell #foraging

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh well look at you sitting right there i was walking over to the to the laboratory to uh to the lab where i was gonna i was gonna create some things i was gonna do some science and then i looked in the room and then there you are proper podcast hey it's me natty bumper car it's the day that you've been waiting for all week it's the day that you marked on your calendars i've seen the circles on your calendars i love seeing circles on calendars because like when you walk in someplace and you see that somebody is taking a pin or whatever and they've marked a circle on on on the calendar then you know that that day means something something's going on it's not always necessarily a good thing necessarily necessarily it's not always a bad thing either it could go either way is what i'm saying you have there's odds i don't know if it's like 50 50 or you know depending on your household in the bumper car household your odds are pretty good that something at least interesting is going to happen again i can't tell you good or bad because that's all subjective but something is going to happen so there i was i was going to the laboratory i told you that already i was i was i was gonna create a dessert that's right i was i i was gonna make some uh probably some uh some some some gelatin with some fruit in it because i love i love it i love it because you can sit there and you're like oh look at that it's half a cherry it's just suspended it's not going anywhere it's stuck right there forever at least until i eat it and then i don't know what happens to it because i'm done with it at that point hey cube of gelatin with a little uh piece of peach in it i'm done with you well we haven't really talked about anything so new headquarters is really getting there i should tell you that uh it is freezing we have um big barrels with uh fires all around new headquarters and it's it's we all have chores now where we have to go out into the woods and forage for uh for kindling and for whatever a bigger for logs so that we can all stay warm because for some reason in this new land of caldwell in which we live uh it's still cold it's not the time of year to be cold it's the time of year to be warm to be hot to be steamy to wear shorts to run around to frolic to play but we can't do that instead all we can do is we can't do that is uh is eat gelatin