Tag: robot

  • Bumperpodcast #199: Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not good at this.

    Bumperpodcast #199: Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not good at this.

    Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are still running the ship on this episode of the Bumperpodcast … Runnning it right into the ground – that is!

    Do you run? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In episode 199 of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig attempts to host alongside Robot and Doodle Poodle while Natty Bumpercar is mysteriously absent. The trio struggles with basic podcast hosting duties as Robot rambles about his soup consumption, Doodle Poodle insists on talking about art and drawing despite never actually drawing, and Pig grows increasingly exasperated with his co-hosts. The episode devolves into chaotic bickering about listener names ("bumper somethings"), whether mittens are an engaging topic, and concerns that Bumpercar may be frozen into an ice cube somewhere in the woods. This improvised episode showcases the puppets' comedic inability to run a show without their usual host.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm sitting in a room with a crazy bucket of bolts and a dog who likes to draw and I've never seen him make a drawing. I just hear him talk about drawings all the time.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Why would he put tears in the name of the people who listen to the show because they're so sad because they're listening to the show?”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “Now you know it sounds terrible this show.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #podcasting #hosting #art #drawing #winter #chaos #friendship

    Featuring: Robot, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Robot: robot what are you doing this is we're starting a second podcast here and this is this is how you

    Aloysious J. Pig: start you don't even say to people like oh hey everybody it's me robot and nothing like that you're just like um oh um you've done this before you know i mean act like you've been to the end zone before robot i i everybody this is a bumper podcast clearly and i'm big and oh that's robot

    Doodle Poodle: over there don't everybody forget about me all at once either because i'm here to it's me i'm doodle poodle i'm the i'm a poodle that likes to to i'm to do

    Aloysious J. Pig: i like to draw i mean i don't understand is this what we're gonna do every episode now we're just gonna establish where we are you i'm a pig you're a robot you're you're a dog that likes to draw it

    Robot: doesn't seem very engaging to the audience the audience wants to know who we are they want to know all about it they for instance they want to know that yesterday i had a can of soup nobody wants to know that um

    Aloysious J. Pig: all right so officially i'm sitting in a room with a crazy uh bucket of bolts and a dog who's likes to i guess to draw and i've never seen him make a drawing i just hear him talk about drawings all the time if you go to his twitter feed he's like oh i think i'm gonna make a drawing or whatever it's a doodle it's actually a doodle all right fine i mean that's the thing i don't care nobody cares let's just do what we do and do the bumper podcast all right what's he call you guys bumper sausages that's not what your name's uh bumper bumper somethings bumper somethings i think that's the people who listen to this show it's the bumper somethings

    Doodle Poodle: that doesn't make any sense at all why would he put tears in the name of the people who listen to the show because they're so sad because they're listening to the show because that doesn't seem like a show that i don't want to listen to i would want to listen to the show that makes me happy like the bumper podcast giggles or something like like that no no more talking for the dog

    Aloysious J. Pig: ever again i think that's it for you go and go eat you go eat some kibble i got some kibble for you to to nosh on and eat it eat it eat as much as you want and it's delicious and just cough or just whatever you say sounds so silly

    Robot: can i talk or do you have any type of stuff that i could eat i could go for some

    Doodle Poodle: and i don't even i don't want i'm not i'm not even really all that hungry right now because i had a bigger breakfast and i don't feel i feel like it's time to do the show and like i want to talk on the show and be like more like talk on the show that was stuff for the for the yeah

    Aloysious J. Pig: all right uh oh wow let's uh see if we can get into any uh topics people love topics on podcasts so maybe we talk about i don't know it's cold now you guys go we got your jackets on you got your hoods your hats your mittens your gloves your scarves you're uh you're really struggling

    Robot: you're really really struggling

    Doodle Poodle: i know i gotta tell you it's not it's not a good show i agree with the robot i think we should talk about art and drawing and stuff because i mean people love art it makes them happy to make drawings sometimes so you see people and they have drawings that they made and they're just smiling and they're so happy you know i don't know if talking about mittens is gonna be a good idea i don't know if talking about mittens is gonna be a good idea make anybody happy at all for really well we we do want people to be happy we'll listen to the

    Aloysious J. Pig: show it's the bumper podcast i'm pig it's robot over there and toodle poodle we uh we're hosting it because bumper cars disappeared we don't know where he went don't know where he gone uh he's probably out in the woods uh ice cubing right now what does that mean he's frozen into an ice cube

    Doodle Poodle: we should really find them that sounds wow it sounds just really terrible i wouldn't want that ever

    Aloysious J. Pig: now you know it sounds terrible this show

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  • Bumperpodcast #185: Blibber. Blubber. Blabber!

    Bumperpodcast #185: Blibber. Blubber. Blabber!

    Natty Bumpercar is flummoxed to start the show and have guests show up … It’s a bit of a cacophony … Pig and Robot throw us immediately of of the rails. This show is already broken. Yay!

    Do you have any batteries? Let us know if you missed us by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Blibber. Blabber. Blubber!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar's plans for a structured comeback show are derailed when Robot unexpectedly returns after being stored in a closet with dead batteries. Robot reveals that someone gave him new batteries, much to Natty's dismay, as he had hoped Robot would stay powered down longer. Meanwhile, Aloysious J. Pig chimes in with his support, though he's dealing with a cold that makes him sound "husky like a dog." The episode devolves into classic Bumperpodcast chaos as the characters bicker about who should be on the show and what makes it entertaining, with Robot getting stuck in binary mode and everyone accusing each other of just doing "blibber blabber blubber."

    Memorable Quotes

    “robots do not sleep and robots do not dream maddie bumper car we are robots we are all binary all the time”

    — Robot

    “i left for a couple weeks hoping that by the time i got back your batteries would have been run down completely which they were”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “when pig is on the mic people know it's going to be right even if i don't sound exactly like myself”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #robots #batteries #friendship #chaos #comeback #podcasting #improvisation

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: awesome so we're back what one week and all of a sudden robots back this is insane ridiculous silly come on we were on good foot we were gonna we were a bumper guy it's a mean pig i totally agree with everything that you've been saying all about a robot showing up on the bumper pocket when maybe he shouldn't even that's what i'm saying exactly no i didn't say anything and you you're not supposed to be here number one and number two you don't even sound like yourself you sound like some this is supposed to be eventually i was gonna get you guys back on the show and but it's too soon and i'm not ready really to have you on the show and we haven't discussed what we're gonna talk about and i i

    Robot: just but maddie do you remember the last time that i was here and my batteries were running out and you said you were gonna put new batteries in me and then you didn't put new batteries in me and then i've been sitting in the corner of the closet for so so so so long and eventually somebody came in and gave me new batteries and i have new batteries and i feel much

    Natty Bumpercar: better okay stop just stop talking just stop that was me thank you okay stop stop i can't stop talking stop okay no i yes i do remember the last time that i saw you and your batteries are running out and you know i said i was gonna go get you new batteries but i left for a couple weeks hoping that by the time i got back your batteries would have been run down completely which they were and then i stored you i didn't just throw you in the closets that's not how i operate you know that uh and uh i thought you were comfortable no i thought you were happier in there you know sleeping your robot sleep doing whatever robots do when their batteries run out um dreaming

    Robot: your robot dreams robots do not sleep and robots do not dream maddie bumper car we are robots we are all binary all the time we are all robots we are all robots we are all robots we are all robots one zero zero one one one zero zero zero one one one one one one one one one one zero zero one one one zero no three just numbers but don't you forget about me maddie i've known you for so long

    Natty Bumpercar: he's stuck i think he's stuck there he's better thank you you're welcome so anyway bumper car what i was saying about myself over here was uh you know it's great that you got the band back and you cracked the microphones which you know means you turned them on everyone knows that and uh it's just it's very fun it's not that fun and by the way yes i do have a cold that's why i sound like this i sound a little bit husky today like a dog yeah husky like a dog all right you get it yeah that's what they say husky but it's still just me pig this is what i guess what i sound like for right now i don't know okay well that's okay i mean that's fine and everything but like it's just hard because you know how it is i wanted to have the first show which was great come back and then i wanted to have the second show kind of build on that and kind of establish like some structure and like so you know this is what we're gonna do bumper podcast you know what it is you know how it works you know what to do boom boom boom bumper podcast whatever and uh bumper god father bumper podcast the tears

    Robot: you know and then you guys jump in and we make the show so awesome people listen when we're on the bumper podcast natty when you're honest

    Natty Bumpercar: alive it's more like it's awesome it's what pig is trying to say i mean i don't like to agree with the tin can alley over here but when pig is on the mic people know it's going to be right even if i don't sound exactly like myself people know that it's like oh there's big what's pick gonna do Pig and a bee, you know, like, yeah, blibber blabber, blabber blubber, blibber blabber. That's what I'm saying, blibber blabber blubber, that's all you guys do, blibber blabber blubber. I'm a robot. Yeah, thanks. Well, so I guess I'm Natty Bumpercar, that's Pig, that's Robot, and all we do is blibber blabber blubber.

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  • Holiday Paintings Are For Sale!

    Here is a link to the actual page!

    Back again for the fourth (miraculous) year – I am making stupendous tremendous painterly drawings . . . for you! And this year – not only are there even more options for you to choose from – but you can also get your painting framed!

    They will be 5″ x 7″ on Arches paper, and will be made with pencils, pens and acrylic paint and this and that and a bit of awesome.

    So. Go through and click the buttons to that tell me what to do and let me know some stuff, and soon, you will go to your mailbox and find a sweet sweet treat.

    Each painterly drawing is $65.

    [Shipping & handling are totally free (in the U.S.)!]

    This offer will go away on Friday, December 2 at midnight . . . So make sure to place you order before then. This is to ensure that all drawings will be shipped by December 14 – so that you can stuff them in your stockings – or wherever you feel the need to stuff them – or something.

    Thanks three times six million!

    Here is a link to the actual page!

  • Bumperpodcast #147 – Rhyming

    Bumperpodcast #147 – Rhyming

    Robot jumps onto the Bumperpodcast microphone to sing a little song – and manages to fail miserably …

    Do you love it when Robot fails? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we would like to know!

    We learn when we fail!!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 147 of the Bumperpodcast, Robot kicks things off with a lackluster party song that prompts host Natty Bumpercar to offer some constructive criticism. Natty points out Robot's lazy rhyming of "things" with "things" and proceeds to demonstrate his own method for finding rhymes by working through the alphabet. What follows is a hilarious deep dive into Natty's stream-of-consciousness musings about rhyming, the alphabet song, and his inability to recite the alphabet backwards. This short, improvisational episode showcases the show's signature absurdist humor as Natty gets increasingly sidetracked while trying to prove he has "a beautiful mind."

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm going to do some stuff and I'm going to do some stuff and then I'm going to do some things and I'm going to rhyme things with things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can't do the alphabet unless I do the song. If I ever had to do the alphabet backwards, I wouldn't be able to even remotely figure out how to do that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can't believe what a beautiful mind I, Natty Bumpercar, have. Let's think of some other words that rhyme with things. Well, of course, there's… I don't have anything.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #music #poetry #rhyming #alphabet #party #language #comedy

    Featuring: Robot, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Robot: My name is Robot and I like to party. I get good and ready when I go to the party. I do some robot stuff and I do some robot things. And then I wait for you to do some things.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. Wow, Robot, that was literally the most underwhelming. No, no, no. I'm going to do some stuff and I'm going to do some stuff and then I'm going to do some things and I'm going to rhyme things with things. Like there's a lot of other words that you could have put in there. Rings, brings, sings. Things, yeah, things. There's not a lot of words that rhyme with things. Is that true? I had no idea. Not a lot, no. You ever do that thing where you're trying to rhyme words in a bumper podcast? Hey, what's going on? What's going on, Bumper Podcast? It's me, Natty Bumpercar. And right now I'm trying to figure out how to rhyme words. And so right now we're using the example of things, for instance. So what I like to do is I start with the alphabet, which seems like a legitimately smart and good place to start when you want to make words. And especially if you want to then rhyme those words. So like I'll go like A. Are there any A words? Angs. Angs. No. B. Bangs. Things. Bangs. No. Bings. Bing cherries, I guess. Brings. C. Clings. There's one. See, look at that. This works. A, B, C. A, B, C. That's terrible. I can't do the alphabet unless I do the song. If I ever had to, was required to do the alphabet backwards, I wouldn't be able to even remotely figure out how to do that. I would. But my brain is not capable of such things, and I do not think it's a fair test. Maybe if it's written in front of me, then I could do it. Because I can read, even, you know, backwards. I can read right to left. That's fine. You know, right to left. Yeah. Or if you put the letters in reverse order, starting left to right, that's going to be easier for me. Then my brain is literally just like, I'm going X, W, X, Y, Z. I started with X. Oh, I'm terrible. I can't believe what a brilliant mind I have. I can't believe what a beautiful mind I, Natty Bumpercar, have. Let's think of some other words that rhyme with things. Well, of course, there's… I don't have anything.

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  • Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    Bumperpodcast #142 – Hooray, studio!

    We are back in the Bumperpodcast Worldwide Studios – today – and Natty Bumpercar couldn’t be happier about it!

    Have you ever come home after a long absence? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we want to help you get home!

    So that you can eat your cookies!!!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast headquarters studio after 10,000 years away, promising moderately decent audio quality. In this solo episode, Natty displays his newly acquired certificate of expertise from the Mayor of Coffee Can Alley, which declares him an expert in "all things." He recounts a hilarious grocery store encounter where he attempts to use his general expertise certificate to explain produce organization to a confused shopper, with predictably awkward results. The episode showcases Natty's signature rambling humor and his tendency to confidently dispense questionable advice.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then I think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have a certificate here… says right here natty bumper car is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #expertise #certificates #groceryshopping #confidence #comedy #soloepisode

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: are well welcome to the bumper podcast it's me a pirate and i'm here to say to you what are you huh what are you doing in here i heard yes get out are you sure yes i'm positive get okay then thank you toodaloo toodaloo pirate hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and for the first time in 10 000 years i'm back in the bumper podcast headquarters studio which means you get to hear something that actually sounds moderately decent moderately decent oh boy that's right robot moderately decent and you know what if we can strive every week to get even more moderately decent then i think that we are on the right track to go to the stars maybe to the moon i don't know which one is closer i'm kind of guessing that the moon is so we want to go further than that we're going to go to the stars i'm going to stick with what i said at first we have potential bumper podcast listeners to go straight past the moon to the stars who's with me who wants to go on this ride i think you do i could see you smiling you didn't have to actually say yes here's the thing bumper podcast i natty bumper car am an expert reader of people's um body language of their physiology i don't know what that is necessarily frenology is that the thing with the bumps on the head i don't know but i'm an expert at it is what i'm trying to tell you i have a certificate here it is right here came in the mail says right here natty bumper car uh is hereby certified by the mayor of coffee can alley as an expert in all things so it's kind of a general uh certificate but that's fine you know you kind of take it for what it is i i applied for uh some more specific certificates but i wasn't able to get them i didn't qualify for them i suppose so i i got this general one and i kind of use it in a lot of different aspects of my life for instance i was in the grocery store just yesterday and i was in the vegetable aisle and there was uh there was a there was a shelf and it had tomatoes and apples and i think it was like a squash uh all kind of mixed together and this woman was she was very confused why are these things together why are they all on the same shelf and i said hold on a second here ma'am i can handle this i am an expert and the reason that they've done this is that these uh fruits and vegetables are simpatico and that they live together nicely and that they will stay fresh longer if they're next to each other the uh the nice lady looked at me kind of askew kind of askance not impressed with my line of jibber jabber and she said uh you really don't know what you're talking about do you i said me of course not

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