Tag: rambling

  • Bumperpodcast 71 – Birds and Time Travel!

    Bumperpodcast 71 – Birds and Time Travel!

    We do a little time traveling on this episode of the Bumperpodcast! Then we get a bit riled over the possibility that birds are squaking and talking about our business. Bunch of pot stirrers – those birds …

     

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    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 71, Natty Bumpercar contemplates the nature of time, podcasting, and whether listeners exist in the future. His philosophical musings quickly spiral into a hilarious rant about birds and their potential gossip habits. Natty worries about birds spreading his secrets and getting involved in his business, while simultaneously respecting their privacy when they ruffle their feathers in puddles and dirt. The episode showcases Natty's stream-of-consciousness comedy style as he invents bird drama involving characters like Wilma Bird and Sheila Bird, ultimately admitting he makes more sense when Robot is around to keep him grounded.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Are you in the future? How's your world? Is it different from this one? Like is the sky still blue or is it nighttime maybe?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Would you birds please keep my business to yourself… birds as a matter of fact stay out of my business entirely.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I usually when robots in here I make more sense right”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #birds #timetravel #philosophy #privacy #comedy #rambling #nature

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: ladies and gentlemen it's me natty bumper car and i am coming to you live except it's not really i mean it's live i never know if it's live or not are you where are you right now what are you doing are you listening to this right now because i'm i'm talking right now but you might not be listening to it right now it's a little bit like time travel but also not like that at all are you in the future you okay so yes okay i know that you're not in the past because there's no way that you're gonna be listening to this in the past because i haven't said it yet unless okay wait if you somehow take this and no there's no way for you to take this into the past you're listening to this in the future aren't you how's your world is it different from this one like is the sky still blue or is it nighttime maybe do birds are do birds talk about things do birds tell secrets and whisper in the night i hope not i have a hard enough time sleeping as it is without a bunch of birds flying around telling everybody my business would you birds please keep my business to your to yourself to you know what birds as a matter of fact stay out of my business entirely now that i think about it i got it i kind of hiccuped there for a second because i was kind of thinking you know i didn't ever do anything to these birds i didn't go into their business and start flying around squawking and talking squawking the squawk talking the talk so i i would kind of expect a little common courtesy birds you know you're adorable small birds you ruffle your feathers in puddles i've seen you do it i've even seen birds ruffle their feathers in uh like uh just dust like you know when it's dirt i guess it's more dirt than dust and it's kind of cute because it's like what are you doing you getting ready for a big date obviously but then that's the thing i don't ask the birds because i don't want to get all up in their business it's their business what they're doing and if they want to if they're getting ready to go you know out on the town maybe with a nice lady bird then that's what they're gonna do and that's fine but it's not it's i'm i'm not gonna be the one who goes up to them and who you know who's like oh well i hear wilma bird's back in town from college are you gonna go visit her you know does sheila bird know about this probably not so well that's the thing i'm not gonna stir the pot i'm not a bird business stop stop per hot stirrer what's a stopper god i usually when robots in here i make more sense right

  • Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Sooooooo sickly . . . Everyone had been hobbled by the funk. Now figers are being pointed. Fingers are being waggled.
    It is a rough scene.

    **cough** **cough** **cough**

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    About This Episode

    In episode 28 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar records while battling a terrible cold that has infected the entire household. Between labored breathing and cold medicine-induced confusion, Natty rambles about the mysterious origins of the illness and whether the baby brought it home. The episode features Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness style as he struggles through foggy thinking, missed trains of thought, and the universal truth that when the baby is sick, nobody sleeps. This deliriously funny episode captures what it's like to parent while feeling completely miserable.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have to breathe to stay alive. It's one of my little defects. A lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but I do.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and I just saw the train roll off. I have my ticket and I missed it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “When the baby's sick nobody sleeps. Nobody. No one. Know how. No sleep bumper podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #coldmedicine #sleepdeprivation #babies #rambling #sickness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh the sickness has gotten this bumper podcast it's it's in the house we couldn't stop it we had the windows open we had the windows shut we had doors and then i don't go outside i don't talk to people i don't even i don't even talk to people the first one was i don't see people the second one was i don't talk to people how do i get sick do you hear my nose it's i can't breathe i have to breathe to stay alive it's a known fact natty bumper car has to breathe to stay alive it's one of my little defects a lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but i do and now when this is done i'm not the only one who's sick is sick and now there's finger pointing there's finger waggling people are waggling their fingers at each other because they're saying what did did the baby get us all sick well he's a baby he doesn't go outside was it the mommy who got us sick we don't really use the term mommy and daddy at this point we're just like hey you yes you pick up that baby we're very general around the house we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to you know start saying you're you're the mom you're the dad because you know bumper podcast let's be frank we're not really sure about any of it not well hold on we're sure about who's what and who's who i should point that out oh i've gotten confused bumper podcast i have to say cold medicine is deliriously delir silly if i stuff it not it knocks you on your mental tuchus which is where i am and now i've completely lost my train of thought i am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and i just saw the train roll off i have my ticket i paid for a ticket i have my ticket and i and i missed it i missed the train did i mention that i'm sick i don't do well when i'm sick bumper podcast i i wallow in sickness i fail in sickness i want to go to sleep so bad but the baby's sick and when the baby's sick nobody sleeps nobody no one know how no sleep bumper podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #17 – Whiskers and Wicker

    Bumperpodcast #17 – Whiskers and Wicker

    I think that theis Bumperpodcast talks about whiskers . . . and wicker. It does not – however – delve into Wiccans – or – Wicket W. Warick . . . so – don’t get too excited.

    Whiskers and Wicker.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 17 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a frantic update about the ongoing siege at headquarters, revealing that the evil has now infiltrated inside the building. Under immense stress, Natty goes on a rambling tangent about dinner plates, china for special occasions, and an absurd environmental concern about sustainable paper plate holders made from free-range cat whiskers harvested on Oklahoma farms. The episode showcases Natty's trademark stream-of-consciousness comedy as he veers wildly between genuine crisis updates and bizarre observations about furniture and sustainability.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The evil has gotten inside the house and we're falling like flies. This is not an allegory—we are now positive it's not an allegory.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “They're made out of authentic whiskers from cat farms in Oklahoma. These are free range cats and they'll snip their whiskers every two months to make paper plate holders.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Pretty soon there's going to be cats with no whiskers and there's going to be people with no place to sit.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #headquartersundersiege #stress #rambling #sustainability #catwhiskers #paperplates #environmentalconcerns

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast bumper podcast bumper podcast there's no as you can tell this is old music no time for new music because there's a lot of stuff going on i told you last week that headquarters is under attack well now the attacks are happening inside the house and i can't talk about it too much because it's crazy and because i gotta run and because there's a lot of stuff to do but all i'm saying is the evil has gotten inside the house and and we're falling like flies we know it's i'm not this is not an allegory no hold on allegory allegory allegory can somebody look that up for me allegory yeah okay it's not an allegory we are now positive it's not an allegory for some for some sort of some wow some some some sort of flu it is not it wasn't even a tongue twister that i just uh hmm bumper podcast let me tell you something all right a lot of stress happening right at this second right at this very minute there's a lot going on there's a lot of my plate if you could see my plate right now it's uh it's white it's a bone white it's a china uh it's what we bring out not just for special occasions but we want to make every meal a special occasion so we bring out the china but when he what if you're just eating uh uh a bar food like a slider or a chicken chicken tender a buffalo a burfalo chicken tender are you gonna put those on china net now for that uh i have paper plates and uh whisker with with wicker not whisker whisker paper plate holders they're made out of authentic whiskers and how they get those they're cat farms i think in oklahoma and uh the cats are very well taken care of these are free range cats and what they do is they'll go up and i think it's every two months they'll snip their whiskers and they'll make paper plate holders for people who don't have paper plate holders all right it's environmental it's green it's it's if we're gonna be sustainable i think it's the way that we have to go because you know not you can't keep making wicker wicker do you know what that is that's chairs that's that's the furniture that goes on your front deck and eventually if we keep going the way we are and you know i don't want to get on my soapbox but pretty soon there's going to be cats with no whiskers and there's going to be people with no place to sit so bumper podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #12 – Inventions

    Bumperpodcast #12 – Inventions

    Ooh! It’s invention time . . . But – do we actually ever get to talk about the inventions?!

    Listen to find out.

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    About This Episode

    In episode 12 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar excitedly announces plans to share groundbreaking invention ideas with listeners, promising to get them in on the ground floor of these opportunities. The episode takes a humorous turn as Natty gets sidetracked discussing the frustrations of buying too many hot dog and hamburger buns for barbecues, pondering the impracticality of grilled cheese on hot dog buns. The conversation meanders further into discussion of investment properties near a lake and mountain where goats frolic, which apparently helps Natty think better and develop inventions. Despite promising to reveal these amazing inventions, Natty never actually describes any of them, instead focusing on requesting listeners' credit card information and praising their productive "blue sky-in" and "spitball-in" session.

    Memorable Quotes

    “What are you going to do with a hot dog bun if you're not eating a hot dog on it? You can't do anything with it, is what I'm telling you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There's goats who live on the mountain. They like to watch the goats frolic. They'll start at the bottom of the mountain. And then they'll frolic up the mountain.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I mean, it can only get better from here, right?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #inventions #businessideas #barbecue #rambling #investment #comedy #picnics #entrepreneurship

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hello there bumper podcast how do you do today pretty well i'm hoping well you should be well because today we here these papers are gonna do what we were gonna do last week i'm gonna tell you about some inventions i'm gonna get you guys in on the ground floor these are opportunities that you cannot miss out on because i'm well because i'm because i'm gonna tell you about them but what i'm saying is you're gonna know about them before anybody knows about them so let's talk about number one right here you're gonna go to a picnic maybe you pick you have a barbecue grill at your house that you like to barbecue on and you're sent out to the store go get some buns okay well we're eating hot dogs and hamburgers i but i don't want two packages of buns i don't it's too many buns and they're gonna go bad And, you know, what are you going to do with a hot dog bun if you're not eating a hot dog on it? You can't do anything with it, is what I'm telling you. You can't have a grilled cheese on a hot dog. Well, I guess you could. I wouldn't recommend it. Cheese could be everywhere. So what I'm going to be selling to you… No, wait. I'm not selling you anything. I feel… Okay. That's my fault. We're not selling things. Getting you in on the ground floor here. What I'm doing is just telling you about things. But if you… I mean, at the end of the episode, if you want to email me your credit card information, then that would be fine. And, you know, we were looking at some investment property at the lake. There's a mountain. We're looking at some investment properties where there's a lake. And there's a mountain near it. And there's goats who live on the mountain. And, you know… They like to watch the goats frolic. They'll start at the bottom of the mountain. And then they'll frolic up the mountain. And then they'll go to sleep in the sun. And… So it's not even just the lake that's making me want to go to this place and get this house. This investment property for the business. No. Well, yes. It is. And it's because I do better thinking there. And then I can come up with better inventions to bring your way to get you in what we're doing right now. We're spreading the wealth. So don't forget. What I need you to do is send me your credit card information. BumperPodcast at NattyBumperCar.com And really, I think with what we've talked about today, I think we're on the same page. You know, we did a little blue sky-in. A little spitball-in. And, uh… Wow. I mean, it can only get better from here, right?