Tag: podcasting

Bumperpodcast #465 – Season 3 – Tomato Soup Can

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.”

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality.

Memorable Quotes

“What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's

Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's

Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all

Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again

Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um

Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that

Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect

Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing

Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a

Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir

Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: Bye.

December 2, 2025
Bumperpodcast #463 – Season 3 – Best Episode

The Bumperpodcast episode opens with an apology from Natty Bumpercar for last week’s episode, which had no audio but was voted the favorite by listeners. Aloysius J. Pig reveals the episode’s popularity, leading to a humorous discussion about the podcast’s cast, including Rufus T. Rufus, the producer, and various recurring characters like Doodle Poodle. The conversation meanders through personal anecdotes, name jokes, and a brief discussion about improving escalators with LED lights and music.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
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About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar and the gang open with an apology for last week's audio-less episode, which Aloysious J. Pig hilariously claims was voted the best episode ever. The crew discusses the convenient naming conventions on the show, with Producer revealing his name isn't a nickname but his actual birth name. Rufus T. Rufus boasts about his many fabricated superlatives, while the gang debates whether they're a work family. The conversation takes a wild turn when they propose giving escalators a glow-up with LED lights and music, leading to Producer's panic about potentially dangerous suggestions. This episode showcases the Bumperpodcast's signature improvisational comedy and character dynamics.

Memorable Quotes

“That evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever… they said it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to… because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know”
— Producer

“You took a classic song of the uh hip-hop genre and you uh you did that to it… not whatever elevator music”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #podcasting #apologies #names #family #escalators #music #workplacehumor #technology

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Doodle Poodle

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: no but it's what i hold because what i'm saying is it was we made a mistake and i oh hey uh bumper podcast kateers it's me natty bumper car this is the bumper podcast yada yada yada thank you for listening um we're starting the episode off this week with an apology evidently last week we recorded an episode that's not the evidently part but it went out with no audio which for a podcast is um what i have read a very important piece uh hey actually hey natty it's me always just jpeg um and i was looking over the numbers with producer and uh i didn't know that they even had this but that evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever like out of all the episodes out of all the listings everything that one top of the peak the number one it's not even like uh what do they call it recency bias or nothing like that they just just the words they were saying about this thing they said it's it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to of this podcast really of any podcast uh make more like this but there was no audio there was nothing nobody there was no oh now i get what you're doing okay no now i see i see what you're doing and it makes sense that was their favorite episode of the podcast because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans the uh hold on there natty uh you know you can't just go throwing around words like uh rigmarole shenanigans you know you yep yep what you're doing there is you're pointing the finger at everybody else here on the bumper podcast myself included hello everybody my name is rufus t rufus i'm the i was going to say the legal lawyer around here but i'm the local legal lawyer and and uh i just want to make sure that i keep natty that i keep you in line and i keep you in check all right because we want to make sure that you ain't just out there willy-nilly talking about whatever stuff

Producer: you were saying before yeah no so listen i don't care about what wherever words is he saying the thing i think that it's hurting me everybody hello my name is producer i'm the producer of the podcast and it's not a nickname it's like i was born and my name was producer and i'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know i don't have any plans really and then lo and behold the way life went i ended up being here as a producer which is fine it's a you know it's okay i guess you're okay business if you can get into it but then you know you release one episode with no audio and everybody's all of a sudden like they are they're the producers at home and they're like oh you know you didn't push the button that makes the thing out there over there that with the audio in the wav files and mp3s and you know all these technical terms that i know a lot about but everybody knows yeah settle down there uh that producer also i didn't know that

Natty Bumpercar: i was i didn't honestly i didn't know that was your actual name i thought your name was something like fred or something uh uh delores i don't i don't i don't uh uh i don't know i was going to think of a name with an r at the beginning but i can't eat roger that's a name that begins with an r uh w name winfred willifred i thought your name could have been willifred um but evidently your name is actually producer which is very convenient and helpful for us i gotta say that this podcast is never helpful okay um usually it's very convoluted and confusing and uh people are like what's happening what am i listening to what is going on but with you breath of fresh air uh they're like oh wait okay so that one's name is producer and uh and then they produce okay good perfect where where's host host hosty to make some hosts hosty that's no it's just there's it's not like his name is producery or anything like that it's just producer and so if you're asking where the host is i that's me natty bumper car um and your name is aloe jay pig you see how that worked out uh there sometimes there's a robot on the show every his name is is robot so that's very very um you know smart naming uh that we're doing there uh yeah producer you're just you're okay that's that's that's cool rufus t rufus you're that's your name um of course there's i'm trying to think of other people who sometimes come on the show there's uh there's there's doodle poodle

Doodle Poodle: hi natty that's me doodle poodle i'm of course a dog a poodle who likes to doodle

Unknown: oh

Doodle Poodle: what's up does anybody want to do some drawings with me or anything

Natty Bumpercar: we're good doodle poodle thanks for stopping by natty listen he's not like on the movie where you got to say his name three times the the second you get into the fourth syllable of this you know the second syllable of the second word so the fourth syllable he's already running down the hall thinking you know this is his big shot um yes okay i get it pig uh poodle um uh but your name's not like natty host your name's natty bumper car which makes no i don't even listen people come up to me in the street and they go so is that actually his real name and i say yeah his name is rufus t rufus it's you know it's the same forward and back i guess i don't know and they're like no no no no no no no the other one yeah i'm i'm i don't i don't appreciate you bringing my name into this uh but i do kind of like that uh people do bring me up for i'm what you would call consider a uh fan favorite at this point uh voted most likely to be succeeding from the bumper podcast uh king i was a king of prom at the bumper podcast that one year uh i brought in the most donations at one time president of the class of the the bumper the bumper podcast i have a lot of uh superlatives that i like you know that i i've earned over the years and i'm proud of it you know and i just want people to know about yeah of course so i i am not just rufus t rufus i am so much more than that

Producer: all right i agree and oh my goodness i am so sorry i am yawning it has nothing to do

Natty Bumpercar: with you going on and on uh listing everything that was in no way made up all the superlatives that you have earned um anyway yeah so uh yes that is sure it's my real name pig why did you don't have to engage with these people they uh it was actually my family like um you know cousins yeah and my kids okay grandpa's a family reunion okay gotcha yeah so i felt like i had to understood thank you all right i'm not i'm not gonna go to a family reunion where they're like we're kind of worried about you are you sure that this is the right career path for you and i'm like yeah it's going well then they're like but his name uh is it bumper car seems to be a strange name is all i'm saying yeah and again i okay i totally agree uh but i think what i had to ask in that situation is you can just you can take it you know listen to them and you know i don't know just kind of agree and uh walk away or something i don't know i thought we were pals we're not even if y'all pals the the blood uh the family family reunion is thicker than any kind of water or substance uh or whatever it is you know that we have going on here we're kind of like a work family right you know we come in i assume i'm like uh i don't know uh i'm the funny uncle uh uh let's see here uh uh uh natty you're like that the uncle that gave up a long time ago um aloe vicious you know i'm gonna you're gonna be like the den leader i assume yeah that's perfect that's what i've always

Producer: aimed to be for this group the den leader yeah and so let's see here we have the funny cousin her uncles the cut the the for the day i don't i forgot all the things you just said but what is what does that leave open for me like what did i possibly be in this whole scenario oh producer anytime i hear the word

Natty Bumpercar: scenario i get excited here we here we go here we go no how does it here we go y'all yo here we go yo say something something scenario you guys know that song what song i'm talking about out of all the terrible things that you haven't done on this podcast that was by far the worst one i've ever heard you took a classic song of the uh hip-hop genre and you uh you did that to it it's you know it's got a flow it's supposed to have a flow like here we go yo here we go yo yeah it's boom bap boom bap not whatever elevator music now hold on there's elevator music right but what is the escalator music did that was that ever a thing can we invent that little speakers oh you know what i'm talking about we do escalators of the future right when you go to get your car washed you go in and there's rainbow lights everywhere and it's this big exciting adventure oh it's rainbows and it's cool let's do that with escalators so you're going down and and it's got like uh led lights won't be bomb lights you know cool lights and uh i don't know some sort of a like a soundtrack right you know and it can become like that movie with a dude stepping on the piano and uh and you know so everyone's kind of playing with each other and it's it just seems like it'll bring the community together all right well i i i'm gonna admit i i hold on i don't not like that i do like that i think it's a nice idea especially like the led lights and i don't know i think but before we make uh escalators like fun and you know like an adventure we should probably make escalators that don't try to murder people because i um that's the thing you know if people don't people they and they have children they really start to freak out about it they're like whoa the escalator's gonna get you you better tie that shoe you better not sit on that step what are you doing putting that bag on there it's gonna grab that get your hands and hair away from that escalator come on you can't play with it like that it's dangerous and then now we got a whole society of people terrified of an escalator go to places with multiple levels you look around all them escalators just empty just nobody on them just a couple tumbleweeds just tumbling down the stairs you know i i know what well well hold on i i i agree i don't i can't believe that i do but i actually do agree um escalators we're kind of like uh quicksand uh you're terrified of quicksand growing up they're kind of like uh bees how my children treat bees like uh every bee is out to get them and if the bee does get them then that's the end of all things uh and now and in escalators yeah they're telling you you're gonna you're gonna lose limbs on this thing right so maybe uh pig you're right maybe we need to do what the kids are calling a glow up on the uh on the escalators

Producer: and uh hold on a second we're not gonna blow up any anything no blowing up escalators we have to cut this okay everybody take the equipment we're gonna go and hide we can't say stuff like that on

Natty Bumpercar: on the air yo god chill out we're not first off we're not even on the air we're a podcast but also he i think he said glow glow yeah like you said yeah it's like you're supposed to glow glow it up i don't i don't really know what it means but glow it up the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloysius j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

Unknown: you

October 25, 2025
Bumperpodcast #460 – Season 3 – Game of Love

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, there is a song. A nifty song. Then everyone is distracted when Rufus falls for an internet scheme … of love?

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

In this chaotic morning recording of Bumperpodcast episode 460, Rufus T. Rufus is determined to continue his story from the previous episode about being in love—a rarity for this typically non-serialized show. The early 7 AM recording time has left host Natty Bumpercar struggling with his speech and energy, while Producer battles a frog in his throat. As the minutes tick by with endless banter about who will talk about what, Rufus finally reveals he met someone special named "RNBW" (rainbow with numbers and an upside-down cat emoji) through a mobile game's chat feature. Despite Natty's skeptical tone—which everyone keeps calling out—Rufus enthusiastically describes his budding digital romance with this mysterious gamer who always seems to log in right after he does. The episode showcases the show's improvisational comedy style as the characters struggle to stay on track while producer and Natty can't help but question Rufus's new relationship.

Memorable Quotes

“I'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do. I'm a man about flowers, I'm gonna give you chocolates, I'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and make fun of seagulls.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“We have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast, four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back.”
— Producer

“Her name was rainbow but there was no vowels in there so R N B W rainbow and some numbers and somehow she put one of them emojis in there, a little upside down smiling kitty cat.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #love #onlinedating #mobilegames #relationships #morningroutines #podcasting #skepticism

Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Rufus T. Rufus: now as i was saying last episode i was talking about being in love and i can't wait to tell y'all all about it that's right i rufus yeah t rufus

Natty Bumpercar: and finally in love okay that's great and amazing that you actually are remembering what we did in the last episode and you've decided to continue it because that's not something we normally do we are not very good at being a serialized podcast um normally we record an episode and then uh by the time we walk out of the studio uh everybody's forgotten everything what and

Rufus T. Rufus: hold on you're okay but that you wait no i know yeah you don't know your voice sounds insane today like uh and you you had like a weird lisp now i'm doing it what's going on is it is it catching is it is it hey producer can you look up is this some sort of a lisp uh lisp all right that's that's rough lisp thing going around

Producer: sorry sorry i am all right something in my throat is probably a frog

Rufus T. Rufus: it's not a frog in my throat all right well you know uh evidently uh let's see here that little froggy producer over there he's got a little bit of a uh a cough a little tickle in his throat uh nutty you're up there i heard you with having a problem with your s's uh now listen to me i'm the only one here who can speak i can say lisp with no problem whatsoever okay i can say sally's selling seashells down by the studebaker at the seashore no problem but you know so i guess it's gonna be my episode today finally we're gonna focus on some real issues uh and and that's me my life and and me being in love no i'm fine i just it's we've never recorded an episode

Natty Bumpercar: this early in the morning and i do i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know feel like i've properly woken up it is and it's not really that early but it's it's seven o'clock in the morning and uh normally that we're not recording a podcast at this time but that's what we're doing today because we have so many cool things to talk about and yeah so we got to talk

Rufus T. Rufus: about my me being in love no i'm pretty sure that that's not on the uh docket i'm pretty sure that's not on the whiteboard it's we are not that's not what we're doing today um but natty take it away

Natty Bumpercar: okay yeah uh and if i if i'm to be honest the stuff i'm going to talk about now feels kind of weird and boring and uh i mean it's cool uh i mean but you know rufus is in love so it feels like that's kind of important too and i don't know if that i just i mean the stuff we're taught i don't know producer what do you think yeah well i um sorry

Producer: i had a little drink and my throat feels better the water is good for me i'm i think that we have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back and they're oh my goodness this is my for me you know and uh we could have already probably talked about the rufus whole situation and been done right and then you could talk about whatever it is you want to talk about but uh instead you know we just kind of keep going back and forth rufus is in love natty's good stuff to talk about and then everybody is on their bicycle or run their train whatever they however they listen to this and they're going well i don't know it's gonna talk about it are they gonna talk about anything at all i don't know it's kind of going back and forth and you know they're doing that in their in their head i'm hoping maybe they're looking around at other people if they're on a train and they're saying they're listening to this maybe that maybe maybe she's listening maybe that she's frustrated i can see her brow is furrowed but maybe she's frustrated because she's now listening to this and and she's at the same part maybe i am randomly you know and and she's like well they're gonna talk about anything and nobody knows because nobody they don't ever know if they're gonna talk about can we just i'm just i'm struggling you're struggling yes you're struggling

Rufus T. Rufus: uh natty over there he's being strictly business and what i'm talking about is is is is is i'm stuck in an is loop there is a matter of the heart it's a matter of the soul it's it's it's i'm not doing it again all right maybe i'm a little bit emotional maybe that's why i keep getting stuck now normally i come on here and i talk about the law right as i'm a lawyer but right now we're talking about a little bit we're getting a little bit deeper in with rufus little we're going past the skin we're taking back a few layers and we're looking at what makes him tick his heart right i'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do i'm a i'm a man about flowers i'm gonna give you chocolates i'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and and we're gonna uh make fun of seagulls whatever you do at the beach i don't really go to the beach i'm afraid of it uh the water i don't this is gonna come get me i have dreams uh but i'm i'm what i'm saying is i'm here for you and i'm i'm ready to talk about my my relationship okay so uh natty producer has a point we were at uh when were we we were at four minutes now we're at six minutes and uh so we're really burning through the podcast and ain't talked about nothing and so uh let's i say we let rufus say his thing yeah and then we'll move on we can talk about your stuff at the end we'll give it a

Natty Bumpercar: good good segment all right that's fine i i don't even remember what i was i was excited to talk about some stuff and now i don't even remember what it was um i kind of checked out on the podcast a while ago um yeah okay go rufus go ahead and tell us whatever you i don't i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i know it doesn't you don't hear it my voice but i'm gonna blame it on being tired and um having a plan and that being just thrown away so let's focus on what we're doing and rufus t

Rufus T. Rufus: rufus you're in love i can't tell us about it yeah well natty i can tell by the tone of your voice that you was not sincere you was insincere right there and that's fine because you're a man who doesn't know about love you're a man who doesn't know about the magic of a relationship you know and uh that's that's unfortunate for you but that's a you problem and for me i'm gonna talk about what makes me happy and everybody out there who's listening they're gonna maybe it's gonna put a little pep in this step today all right so um well let's see here yeah instead of you just rambling i'll do that uh where did where did you meet where where's this where's who is this person where are they from yeah i like this this is good we're

Producer: gonna interview you okay here we go and where are they from rufus well remember last last time we

Rufus T. Rufus: was talking about the applications and the uh on my telephone and uh there's the games i like to play there's the one with the little jewels one that looks like candy candy but candy that's jewels but that it attacks you and there's a monkey i think and there's a it's in space i should mention that uh underwater space just go okay it's uncharted yeah sorry yeah anyway um so there's

Natty Bumpercar: a chat feature in these games and uh oh okay okay okay i remember we were talking about the games and you were giving them your credit card you're giving all the information and um oh oh um is this is this where you met the love of your life rufus now you know natty sometimes we had a problem

Rufus T. Rufus: where people don't like you right and and i think that's the problem i think that's the problem i think it's because of your tone i can normally i can't hear it but when it's directed towards me i can i can actually i understand where the people are coming from like you're saying words but there's something in them something under them right and and and and and uh i don't i don't i don't appreciate it and i don't like it all right yeah i met her on a game and and she had a cool name i think it was uh rainbow but there was no uh no vowels in there so r n b w rainbow and and then some numbers and uh and somehow she put one of them emojis in there little there's like a little uh upside down smiling kitty cat right now it's just that's just who she is she's just an individual she's perfect right and uh so we got to chatting oh boy i think this is an issue no no no no yeah we told you to stay away from the games because of stuff like this okay no no no this is completely different all right this is this is a real person rainbow numbers and then smile that uh i have i've built and fostered a real kinship with right we just started out we was on the same team and uh playfully you know talking back and forth yeah uh we share a lot of interests okay how did you share or yeah i would say stuff i was interested in and and she would say that she

Natty Bumpercar: very much interested as well okay that made me happy did she ever like initiate that like what she was interested in or was it just mostly coming from you and then she would agree well

Rufus T. Rufus: a lot of it did come from me because uh so she was on the uh front lines of the game the offense right the right out right out there in the fringe so she couldn't chat as much as me i was what they i was in the defense i was back i was crouched right back in the bushes but nobody could see me and so i would you know chat it up a lot and she would respond pretty short but it's always very

Producer: sweet and uh uh and and and hold on is this uh the person i remember you were saying you could the language you could uh start without you could blink at people or something or little lines or whatever so i don't really know how you would strike up a conversation with that kind you know but you know maybe you play a lot and maybe you just got a little inside jokes i

Rufus T. Rufus: don't know how you know right so what i noticed is that every time i would stop playing uh usually you know within i don't know uh for a short amount of time i would log in stop playing and then but a loop she would log in as well almost like we were on the same schedule right and and she was she would just a bit loop and then and then we you know chat and then we play the game and uh oh it just every time i played but loop there she is i was and i would say that too i would say well there she is and i'd send a little you can send you a little the whatever funny little line or whatever yeah okay um and i realized the tone of

Natty Bumpercar: my voice you were hearing was again because i'm very tired and i'm now i'm see i'm awake i had a sip of tea and i'm i'm ready to go uh nobody

Rufus T. Rufus: believes that natty everybody knows everybody's heard it everybody knows it there's a tone so just

Producer: let's you know keep going yeah there's absolutely a tone everybody agrees we actually sometimes we people listen to the podcast and they put a you can see they make videos and they put a little line to go okay there's the tone you know just like oh there's another and they do like um betting to see how many times well first off how many times you're going to talk in the episode because a lot of times you just don't hear at all and then the other times is how many times is he gonna have the time okay well then

Natty Bumpercar: i'll i have something to work on great now let's can we just keep talking about rufus and figure

Rufus T. Rufus: out what's going on with him please you see that was it again every time you talk now i hear it i feel like it's every time you speak there's a little bit of undertone a little bit of uh a little bit of something there yeah i hear it too now how do i get in on this betting thing because that does sound kind of fun it makes the show more interactive no

Natty Bumpercar: i don't like can we just focus on rufus please and leave me alone

Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloysius j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

Unknown: you

October 3, 2025
Bumperpodcast #458 – Season 3 – Dusty Diversion

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty tries to explain where he has been and what he has been doing, and why he hasn’t been recording – and no one is having any of his malarky!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
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About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after months away, only to face harsh criticism from Aloysious J. Pig about the show's inconsistent recording schedule. In this comeback episode, Natty explains what he's been up to since losing his job, including an anxiety-fueled weekend spent creating an entire comedy festival from scratch. Producer emerges from layers of studio dust to share his concerns, while the trio gets sidetracked discussing laurels, plant care, and the ancient origins of common phrases. Despite the rocky reunion and dust-covered studio, the gang promises to return with more episodes soon—though Aloysious skeptically predicts it'll be another three months.

Memorable Quotes

“No one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I think that it's one of those things that normally people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and be sad and i instead i did all this research bought the domain name and all the socials and trademarked the name”
— Natty Bumpercar

“If we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #comedy #podcasting #unemployment #anxiety #comedyfestival #friendship #plantcare #etymology

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i'm imagining and i'm guessing and i don't know that everyone has probably been wondering

Aloysious J. Pig: where i am like what no no actually no natty i just want to jump in before you get all on your whole thing oh everybody wants to know where they've been everybody wants to know why you haven't been recording everybody wants they don't no one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing yeah i don't know if anybody cares anymore if

Natty Bumpercar: i'm to be honest okay well that's harsh but i do appreciate your um being forth right forthwith forth i don't i appreciate you being forth with me so now you're making little jokes because

Aloysious J. Pig: you're uncomfortable or whatever i get it all right it's forthright you know this and i except somebody's got to tell it to you straight somebody's got to give it to you okay so you have a podcast you're doing well you got numbers you're growing and then all of a sudden what i don't know what happened to you but you're just yeah you'll yeah you just oh okay well

Natty Bumpercar: there's a little bit of success i'm gonna run away from from that i don't think i did that but maybe i don't know is that something i subconsciously did oh that's definitely something i'm gonna bring up with my therapist right because maybe yeah okay i'll i'll take that because i know that every so often i'm doing great with the podcast and then i just there's a shiny object and i run over to it and and and maybe that's the case here i'm gonna

Aloysious J. Pig: look really quick to see when the last yeah oh wow july july like 19th or something like that and then before that one it was like in june okay so it's you didn't do two in june good for you two in may but like it's just this is this is untenable so what i'm saying is if we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life i know you know i'm sure i don't even see rufus ain't here he's probably off fishing or whatever he does taking his summer break and and uh excuse me there's a lot of sawdust in here producer yeah produce are you awake i'm awake

Producer: sorry i was there's been a lot of i thought it was construction dust but he's actually just because we don't come in here anymore so it's just layers and piles of dust you know we could do like one of those core samples like they do on trees and we can actually dig down into the dust and we could see like when it was i don't know raining or maybe it was an ice age or i don't know how it works or anything but anyway nappy i agree with uh the uh the with aloysius that um you know this is what i do i've just been sitting in this room i actually had a layer of dust over myself as well and i would appreciate let's just record some shots okay yeah i okay i'm yes i agree

Natty Bumpercar: i'm sorry and i agree wait i agree with both of you and i'm sorry that i haven't been recording and i agree that i'm sorry i think that covers everything but here i'm just going to explain what i've been doing what's been going on okay because it's kind of important to me that i'm um i don't even know if i told you i lost my job yeah everybody knows okay you're basic i mean

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i guess you didn't put up uh uh like a sky writing but you you did you really put it out there oh woe is me woe is natty i lost my job and then you had you wrote something you was on some show and you got voted off kicked off i don't know what that was but yeah so we are all up to

Natty Bumpercar: date on that okay well cool so that weekend that was on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a thursday that that happened then the friday saturday sunday for some reason i um had this just anxiety uh of stuff that was inside my brain and i i anxiety created uh a comedy festival which is not something that i think normal people do i don't understand that you do what do you you

Producer: say you you you just you just oh like you say i made a festival it doesn't seem like you know just like anybody can like oh bing i just waited willie mammoth okay or did you what exactly i don't understand what you mean you did yeah did

Aloysious J. Pig: you hear they actually are working on the willie mammoth okay i don't know if maybe the people doing that got laid off from their jobs and then they were all of a sudden they were like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna i'm gonna make a big furry elephant thing or or or or what but uh yeah i said it's were you reading the news or something while we were gone there's a lot of news about this willie mammoth thing going i don't know if i agree with it but uh i don't know if i disagree with it i probably disagree with it but who knows okay i i have opinions i just don't

Natty Bumpercar: have this opinion evidently yeah i don't i don't yeah i don't know if i have opinion i do have opinions on this but i don't i haven't fully formulated what they would sound like so i'm gonna stick to so what what happened producer is i think that it's one of those things that it was and then the second the opportunity came the like all of the stress and the anxiety of being laid off normally i think people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and and be sad and i instead um i i i did all this research does this thing exist didn't find anything so i bought the uh domain name and all the socials and uh then i went and i trademarked the name all this stuff boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom right and it was all in this weekend all this stuff just kind of flowed out of me and i think monday or tuesday i talked to my sweet and sour uh comedy producing partner suzanne and i was like hey hey hey hey because then that's when i did start crying and i was like guy think i want to do i want to do this festival and she was like what and i was just like festival where you can do it it's a montclair comedy festival you know i we did mont we did comedy in montclair for a million years so many shows and uh and we just produced this jaws the musical that was in the the fringe festival like that's a big thing that we did so let's not we i don't want to rest on uh

Aloysious J. Pig: on my on my laurels what what exactly is uh the or laurels does that does that is that something you got from like a swedish design

Producer: store or is that some condition that you have or i think that a laurel might be like a type of a shrub or a type of a bush i don't know um did we get some some laurels planted and if so how did we afford them i think you know you don't have a job and laurels are pretty expensive not only to to put to get but then to put in the ground and then their upkeep and and everything and uh and then you know it's same why you're going to go in the store and you're going to go in the store and sit on them okay because like i said they're pretty expensive and then what i know about plants isn't a lot but i do know that plants do not like to be you know just like sat upon and they do not appreciate it yeah and they will they will wilt is what will happen to them

Natty Bumpercar: so okay yes those are you're actually right skip laurels uh and we do not have any we did look at some a few times uh because we do like to buy plants uh bring them home plant them do all the stuff you're supposed to do for them and watch as they just uh die for no reason uh we've actually we've had people come to our yard and look at our at our yard and and and scratch their chins and shake their heads and and ask questions did you did you did you water it yes did you dig the hole twice as big as the root ball yes i did now a long time ago one of the mistakes that we made when we bought the root ball was that we didn't have the root ball some plants was we dug this big hole and then when the uh with this the uh the dirt that we put in there right top soil type stuff uh we actually put uh fertilizer in thinking well these plants are going to be happy look at they've got all they've got everything they need we're watering them they've got their nutrients and and somebody said oh no you don't put the fertilizer in with the plant uh because what that plant does then is it doesn't uh search out into the world for its own nutrients it just hangs out in that area that you already fertilized and and it doesn't see the need to go out any further and then the uh the root ball like where you know what's it just doesn't grow and so then it ends up just dying and uh well that that was a lot to take in and that was kind of like a too much love situation we loved these plants to actual death and we didn't want to let them die and we didn't want to let them die and we didn't want to let them die and so um it's it can happen okay but no i was i was resting on my laurels which is a phrase it's a phrase i just looked it up it's like

Aloysious J. Pig: a greek and roman times and and uh when somebody did something good or whatever i don't really know why but they would be given a little crown made of ready for this laurels just like the plants you're talking about so producer you were sort of right there right and then the whole phrase means all right great just so you did something big just because you did something good you got your little crown now don't just put that crown down on the ground and and and do nothing just sit on it right don't rest on it because that you know what's going to happen that crown's going to wilt it's going to go away so when you get your crown you know what you're supposed to do you're supposed to keep on going keep pushing right and who knows uh maybe you're going to get another crown i don't want to promise you anything okay i don't i don't even know who's voting i don't even know what the uh the metrics are but what i'm telling you is that you just don't want to rest on them now i don't know if you're allowed to uh rest next to them if maybe there was some laurel hangers around in in in ancient times where you could you know do a good job hey here's your laurels crown and then you uh you say oh wow i am i am tired oh wait ready you say oh man i am bushed which is another word for saying tired and uh and then you take off your your laurel which is a bush crown and you can just hang it up so that you're then you're resting right which is good and important to take breaks every so often but you're not resting on your laurels you're you're just kind of hanging out there maybe maybe eating uh a sandwich i don't even i don't know if they had sandwiches back i don't know yeah but uh yeah at least you're not resting on that was a lot excuse me on on your laurels what was that

Natty Bumpercar: oh no i think it's okay it's the dust that's what's happening right now i understand um okay i think what we should do is um work on cleaning out the studio i'm so thrilled to be back i'm thrilled that i have thrown my entire brain into the montclair comedy festival and uh maybe we'll talk about it more i don't know maybe or maybe i don't know what we're gonna do we're certainly not gonna talk about laurel care anymore because there has to be other shows that are out there that are much more expert and that are talking uh much more eloquently about um about hedges you know uh box boxwoods um shrubbery kind of all of those things and i don't feel like that's where we really want to go but um you know who knows it's a fresh start so maybe maybe that is exactly

Producer: where we want to go i feel like um sorry i just feel sorry about that i didn't mean to cut you off but i feel like we should all um acknowledge that we were talking about the the laurels and we're all kind of right that doesn't happen very often normally you know we're all up on different things different tangents different whatevers and and this time i feel like you know things really came together pretty well so congratulations to the whole team and i'm gonna go find uh do we have like a duster or something maybe a vacuum or whatever because we really got to clean this

Natty Bumpercar: place up okay yeah yeah absolutely um all right well so we'll be back soon because we have a lot of stuff to talk about that wasn't even we didn't even scratch the surface there okay

Aloysious J. Pig: there's more there's more yep i suppose we'll see you in three months or so

Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

August 11, 2025
Bumperpodcast #455 – Season 3 – Microphone

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, we get a new microphone! But then everything goes off the rails. It’s totes banoo!!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar introduces a new microphone that immediately proves to be too intense for the laid-back show. The sophisticated equipment makes recurring character Rufus T. Rufus so uncomfortable that he leaves the studio, only to start calling Producer during the recording because he's hungry and can't remember the code to the refrigerator. Meanwhile, Producer keeps taking phone calls mid-episode, creating complete pandemonium in the studio. What starts as an exciting equipment upgrade quickly devolves into accusations, complaints, and the entire cast turning on the new microphone for causing all the trouble. The episode showcases the show's signature improvised chaos and self-aware humor about its own production mishaps.

Memorable Quotes

“I just touched my shirt and I heard it in my ears. This thing is you're a little too intense microphone. I like you very very much but I worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“The main problem is that I became I got a little bit of low blood sugar and I got very hungry. And so I was calling you because I didn't remember the code to the refrigerator and you didn't answer.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“This has never happened before. This microphone came in. He's brand new and obviously he's causing a lot of trouble. So microphone, why don't you just hit the road?”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #newequipment #podcasting #workplacechaos #hunger #technologyproblems #behindthescenes #improvisation

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: okay so we have a new microphone and it is testing my patience as far as where i have to sit and where it needs to sit and how i look at it and how it looks at me and i think i just touched my shirt and i heard it in my ears this thing is it's you're a little too intense microphone i like you very very much but i just i worry that you're not going to fit in around here because we're not a very intense podcast we don't we're not you know exact and we don't really know what we're doing and you know if you take us to a level that's too far up it's just gonna cause issues with everybody bad issues scary issues uh probably some fights people you know talking behind other people's backs terrible stuff like that no i'm not interested i'm not even interested

Aloysious J. Pig: a little bit hey uh maddie uh sorry i didn't mean to interrupt it now you're having a little conversation over here with a new microphone uh so i don't want to you know tell tales at a school i don't want to talk about

Natty Bumpercar: people behind well back no yeah no i think that's what i was just telling the microphone here is that we don't want to do that that's not something that we normally do yeah like well uh hold on a

Aloysious J. Pig: second natic now you're saying we don't save that's me of course hello everyone that's me rufus t rufus the the the the lawyer around here and are you saying that we don't talk behind people's backs because we have to say the stuff

Natty Bumpercar: to their face no well no wait no well no we try to be nice to people just in in front of their face and and behind their face and to the side of their face and any you know if you have a face then we're gonna try to kind of 360 upside down all the way around just be nice to people in general but um what i was saying was rufus i don't have you met have you

Aloysious J. Pig: met the new mic no i don't believe i made your acquaintance uh i'm saying hello to the little okay oh yeah i can do that hello there uh microphone how do you do not much for conversation i see you'd rather be talked at and i don't got any questions uh bathrooms around the corner you know no i can't talk to this thing now it don't make no sense i don't mean you're just looking at me funny here i don't you mean you seem nice microphone but uh you know i got i got i got lawyer stuff i'm gonna just uh skidoo back over here and you you do your microphone thing make me uncomfortable where you're looking stop looking at me like that please now microphone um i'm just gonna say it you've already proved your worth because normally rufus stays in the podcast studio for the entire podcast and now you all of a sudden you come in and you get you made him uncomfortable and got him to leave i've never seen anything or anyone in his situation uh be able to make that guy uncomfortable so uh uh you get a you get a gold star uh first day knocking it out of the park i gotta tell you yeah i agree um it was weird he

Natty Bumpercar: was like did you see his eyes were like kind of darting around he looked like a little bit

Aloysious J. Pig: i don't want to say he was a little bit banu but hey hey hey you know you can't say banu all right because now that's twice if it's said another time then we're gonna get into the totes and then you know that issues for years we've had big issues so please oh please oh please

Producer: stop it right where we are yeah i tend to agree with aloysius you know we don't we we always try to steer away from all of that stuff because it causes a lot of drama and i know the beginning matter you were saying you don't talk behind people's backs we don't talk in front of you

Aloysious J. Pig: know the whole thing you were saying but just what is what is happening producer you have you i mean like you have one job is well i mean you have a lot of i know but you don't take a phone call when we're doing a podcast that's why would you why would you put it on mute put it on vibrate yeah put it in your locker

Natty Bumpercar: like nobody should have their phone yeah i yeah sorry that producer i'm that's the first i said i think that might be the first time that's ever happened that was really loud and and not not

Producer: awesome so i'm hold on netty i just wanted to say that the phone call was actually from a very

Aloysious J. Pig: important person in your life so what are we are we doing like riddles now is that the game we're playing you know are you just gonna tell them all right what are we doing yeah i would i mean like

Natty Bumpercar: yeah sorry i who who who who was it it was very important my life who who just called you instead of i guess calling calling me or did they maybe they did call but i don't have my phone i don't

Producer: know yeah so they did actually call you and uh you yes you doing the voicemail and so there is a bit of a you know so they did call me because it was a bit of a you know a little bit of a you know a you know he's kind of like a bit of a um bit of an emergency and so um yeah yeah what is this guy

Aloysious J. Pig: doing okay so it's you don't you're not telling us who called and now you're saying it's an emergency and then you're trail off uh love you to death producer you're wonderful you're great uh get to the point who was it that called natty with an emergency yeah thanks aloysius like what

Natty Bumpercar: are we doing do you want do we need to stop the podcast and can you tell me or do i need to be worried like what is happening right now

Producer: well no i'm sorry but you guys geek cutting me off and i give you you know i get a little bit nervous and that's why i don't i don't talk a lot in the microphone because you know there's a podcast and i'm the i'm the yeah go go go yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah so okay we know

Natty Bumpercar: you're a producer you're behind the microphone and so somebody called me and they said it was an emergency and can we just please do we if we can you just tell me yeah or hold on a second i

Producer: actually funny story they just called me back but i had turned the the ringer off and i had muted my microphone and so you didn't hear the whole thing but the thing is the um the emergency uh is now passed and it was just a small thing that maybe you know it didn't end up being anything at all and so it's not a big deal and and so you don't even have to worry about it you guys just continue on go on with your big podcast you're doing it such a good job always so proud of you uh new microphone looking at you i'm looking at you over there okay i got a little work to do you and me right but we'll figure it out and we'll figure it out and we'll

Aloysious J. Pig: we're gonna get there we're all gonna get there okay cool great um so now that we're stuck in this and i guess is i hope this isn't the entire podcast i hope bumper car has some silly story to tell or something but i know i invested emotionally and i would also like to know what was the who sorry yes who was the person who called and what was the emergency that has now been settled and is no longer an emergency and now that we have all that information and that you

Producer: can take a nice deep breath and just no so here's the thing i um who's i actually do a lot of indian food i love uh just you know the spicy it's good a lot of flavor i think he's he's on the phone producer yeah he's on the phone right now knock on the window yeah we're not gonna win producer later in the day you know producer yeah we can hear you sorry sorry sorry shut it off

Natty Bumpercar: cut it off um i i'm gonna take a deep breath it's all okay we just might have to throw this episode away but that's okay you know we we were excited we had a new microphone and now producer is receiving phone calls and then talking to people in the in the booth you and we still don't even know who it was you or if that was the same person or what the emergency was or anything yeah uh natty i

Aloysious J. Pig: apologize uh i was on the telephone over there with uh with uh with a producer and uh you know i feel a little bit bad that maybe i was interrupting is what i'm understanding he looks pretty upset in there on the booth yeah uh you would hold on were you the first call or the second call or i think there were three or all it was you were the first call or the second call or figure of what it was that was not what it was in the meanwhile yeah because at the very least you'll have of the first phone call because you took your lead i don't know how many phone calls um well you you know you're well is it all you yeah well now here's the thing i don't know how many phone calls that the producer got uh you're saying three um let me think here because i i did i called and uh natty i called you went to voicemail and then i called a producer and in Yeah, then I called you back to let you know that everything was all right. Yeah, and then I'm the third. Yeah, I was talking about we're going to go eat some food maybe after the show. And then we're going to go get some lunch also. So we got some discussions to discover.

Natty Bumpercar: So, okay, microphone made you nervous, Rufus. So you left the studio and then you almost immediately within like a couple of minutes start calling producer during the show while you know that we're recording the show. And now you're telling me that there was some sort of emergency and that the emergency went away. Can you now explain what that was? Yes, well, I can mix. Sorry, I don't want to hear. I don't I'm not. I need to talk to Rufus to see what's going on, because. Because, you know, it was supposed to be a big fun day. We got a new microphone. We had I had some silly, funny stories I was going to tell. And and and and now it's, you know, I like sometimes the wheels do come off here at the Bumper podcast. You know, we have our silly fun and everything's all whatever. But this just it this feels different and it's frustrating. I'm not going to lie. So tell me, Rufus, T. Rufus, what was this big emergency that you felt like? You needed to call producer during the show and talk about.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So the main issue, the main problem is that I was I became I got a little bit of low blood sugar and I got very hungry. And so I was calling you because I didn't remember the code to the refrigerator and you didn't answer. And I was getting weak. You know, normally I would never call producer during the show. But I was. I was getting a little bit like I was going to pass out a little bit like I was going to go to, you know, just lay on the floor and, you know, Aloysius. I know he don't carry his phone around. And so then I called producer and I did do that. I apologize. I was right there in the middle of the show.

Natty Bumpercar: So, OK, so now we know who it was. It was you calling. We know what the emergency was, that you were hungry, I guess. And and then you called back because the emergency was solved. Like everything. Was figured out. Is that that's that's huh. That's where we are now, right?

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So now what happened with that, what had happened was I did end up laying down on the floor, which was which was nice and cool. You know, the tiles and everything felt nice. I took a nap for about, I don't know, a minute and a half, two minutes, whatever it was. And then out of the clouds, it came to me. It was it was the code for the refrigerator. And and I looked up and I said to myself, Rufus, you're supposed to eat right now. And this is the universe telling you, just telling you. So and so I got up and I went over to the refrigerator, punch in that code. And lo and behold, it opened right up. So just to reiterate, Natty, Rufus was hungry, got the code. He opened the fridge and may have lost producing his job. I still, you know, it's it's what I'm taking in here.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, here's the thing, too, is, yeah, this was rough. This is really bad. And producer, I'm sorry, but like this is kind of unacceptable. You know, you can't do this type of thing like this is just it's you're here to produce the show. Rufus, I'm sorry you got hungry. And, you know, while we have the code on the fridge, because. Santa Claus kept coming in and eating all the snacks, you know, not if you're going to say if this is how it's going to be moving forward.

Producer: I don't know. These conditions are just a little bit unacceptable to me. OK, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if you got the new microphone that you evidently love and you don't even want it. You don't like me and I can't feed people and I don't know what my position is anymore. And I guess we're going to be written up and have a demerit. I don't know.

Aloysious J. Pig: OK, you know what? This has never happened before. This microphone came in. He's brand new and obviously he's causing a lot of trouble. So microphone, why don't you just hit the road?

Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters. In Coffee Can Alley, it's recorded, mixed and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty Bumpercar dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram. Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts. See you soon. Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar hugs and hearts.

June 6, 2025