Tag: podcast

Bumperpodcast #464 – Season 3 – Halloween

The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In Bumperpodcast episode 464, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's completely missed Halloween after getting too caught up in organizing a comedy festival. Rufus T. Rufus reveals that while Natty was busy, the gang went to a Halloween party as a "country breakfast" costume group—with Rufus as a biscuit, Aloysious as orange juice, and someone as eggs and bacon. They even won the costume contest! Now Natty is left with a room full of Halloween decorations, bobbing-for-apples equipment, and no way to return them since the pop-up Halloween store has mysteriously vanished. The episode features hilarious discussions about the ephemeral nature of seasonal Halloween stores, the stress of return desk interactions, and GPS robots with attitudes. Producer suggests they move on to planning the next holiday: Thanksgiving.

Memorable Quotes

“I was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween. I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We did a group costume. I was eggs and bacon and Aloysious was orange juice… you were supposed to be gravy but you never showed up to the party.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I went back to the Halloween store and it was gone. Like tumbleweeds in the store. Gone. They just appear out of night.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #halloween #holidays #costumes #timemanagement #shopping #seasonalstores #comedyfestival #thanksgiving

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween

Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come

Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got

Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go

Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are you in for and they're like i have an online order to pick up and you're like oh oh oh i'm trying to return something do you know do you know if it matters if i'm standing and they're like i don't i can't say anything i don't want to get in trouble all right i don't want to lose my spot in line because i'm trying to explain to you something that i don't even know the answer to okay so there's that kind of stress then you get to the front of the line and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there they'll say what do you want and you say i have a return and they say you're in the wrong line and you look around there's no other lines there's there's places for lines and they just stare at you until you move out this line you go to that line you walk through the thing and then bing bang boom you're up at the front but look at that somehow there's a it's just 16 people in the line where you just were and now you're back in the back of the line and you're in the front of the back of the back and if you ever even make it to the front you know if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front then they uh why you know they real they really why are you here huh you know and you're like i gotta return all this stuff okay got a receipt i actually don't have a receipt well do you have an account with us i don't know let's try this phone number that didn't work perfect um what do i have the credit card that i used i don't know what credit card i used i don't know let's try this one that didn't work perfect yeah i've got other credit card you know it's just this ordeal to the point where i just keep the stuff okay then i put it all in the yard sale next year and then it's someone else's problem or gift or whatever you will have i do like to keep receipts because those are legally binding uh documents and uh legally binding uh documents that we got legally binding right and so i keep a record of them i keep boxes of them and then i store the box i put the dates on the box and so i got all these receipts i got all these records but you know i i twisted my toe the other day so i can't i'm not as mobile as i once was so i will uh i will have to i can find the the the the paper trail but i'm gonna have to defer to someone else and i assume aloysius if you ain't going to go in then uh i guess it's all right maybe it's up to you natty maybe oh maybe you producer seems like something you might enjoy going to talking to

Rufus T. Rufus: people and whatnot i'm actually very busy you know uh we're getting ready for the next holiday show's a big holiday coming up uh thanksgiving and everything so yeah i'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you natty you can take care of it you're the one who slept through

Natty Bumpercar: halloween anyway right wait no i will not accept the nickname is gravy that is a terrible nickname and that is not fair and i won't take it but i will take the stuff back because we do yeah we do gravy

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for the money listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

November 11, 2025
Bumperpodcast #463 – Season 3 – Best Episode

The Bumperpodcast episode opens with an apology from Natty Bumpercar for last week’s episode, which had no audio but was voted the favorite by listeners. Aloysius J. Pig reveals the episode’s popularity, leading to a humorous discussion about the podcast’s cast, including Rufus T. Rufus, the producer, and various recurring characters like Doodle Poodle. The conversation meanders through personal anecdotes, name jokes, and a brief discussion about improving escalators with LED lights and music.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
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About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar and the gang open with an apology for last week's audio-less episode, which Aloysious J. Pig hilariously claims was voted the best episode ever. The crew discusses the convenient naming conventions on the show, with Producer revealing his name isn't a nickname but his actual birth name. Rufus T. Rufus boasts about his many fabricated superlatives, while the gang debates whether they're a work family. The conversation takes a wild turn when they propose giving escalators a glow-up with LED lights and music, leading to Producer's panic about potentially dangerous suggestions. This episode showcases the Bumperpodcast's signature improvisational comedy and character dynamics.

Memorable Quotes

“That evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever… they said it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to… because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know”
— Producer

“You took a classic song of the uh hip-hop genre and you uh you did that to it… not whatever elevator music”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #podcasting #apologies #names #family #escalators #music #workplacehumor #technology

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Doodle Poodle

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: no but it's what i hold because what i'm saying is it was we made a mistake and i oh hey uh bumper podcast kateers it's me natty bumper car this is the bumper podcast yada yada yada thank you for listening um we're starting the episode off this week with an apology evidently last week we recorded an episode that's not the evidently part but it went out with no audio which for a podcast is um what i have read a very important piece uh hey actually hey natty it's me always just jpeg um and i was looking over the numbers with producer and uh i didn't know that they even had this but that evidently that was voted uh everyone's favorite episode of the bumper podcast ever like out of all the episodes out of all the listings everything that one top of the peak the number one it's not even like uh what do they call it recency bias or nothing like that they just just the words they were saying about this thing they said it's it's perfect it's the best episode we've ever listened to of this podcast really of any podcast uh make more like this but there was no audio there was nothing nobody there was no oh now i get what you're doing okay no now i see i see what you're doing and it makes sense that was their favorite episode of the podcast because there was no audio so they didn't have to listen to all of the rigmarole the shenanigans the uh hold on there natty uh you know you can't just go throwing around words like uh rigmarole shenanigans you know you yep yep what you're doing there is you're pointing the finger at everybody else here on the bumper podcast myself included hello everybody my name is rufus t rufus i'm the i was going to say the legal lawyer around here but i'm the local legal lawyer and and uh i just want to make sure that i keep natty that i keep you in line and i keep you in check all right because we want to make sure that you ain't just out there willy-nilly talking about whatever stuff

Producer: you were saying before yeah no so listen i don't care about what wherever words is he saying the thing i think that it's hurting me everybody hello my name is producer i'm the producer of the podcast and it's not a nickname it's like i was born and my name was producer and i'm a frog and then people are like oh i wonder what you're going to be when you grow up and hop off the lily pad are you going to be a farmer and i was just like i don't know i don't have any plans really and then lo and behold the way life went i ended up being here as a producer which is fine it's a you know it's okay i guess you're okay business if you can get into it but then you know you release one episode with no audio and everybody's all of a sudden like they are they're the producers at home and they're like oh you know you didn't push the button that makes the thing out there over there that with the audio in the wav files and mp3s and you know all these technical terms that i know a lot about but everybody knows yeah settle down there uh that producer also i didn't know that

Natty Bumpercar: i was i didn't honestly i didn't know that was your actual name i thought your name was something like fred or something uh uh delores i don't i don't i don't uh uh i don't know i was going to think of a name with an r at the beginning but i can't eat roger that's a name that begins with an r uh w name winfred willifred i thought your name could have been willifred um but evidently your name is actually producer which is very convenient and helpful for us i gotta say that this podcast is never helpful okay um usually it's very convoluted and confusing and uh people are like what's happening what am i listening to what is going on but with you breath of fresh air uh they're like oh wait okay so that one's name is producer and uh and then they produce okay good perfect where where's host host hosty to make some hosts hosty that's no it's just there's it's not like his name is producery or anything like that it's just producer and so if you're asking where the host is i that's me natty bumper car um and your name is aloe jay pig you see how that worked out uh there sometimes there's a robot on the show every his name is is robot so that's very very um you know smart naming uh that we're doing there uh yeah producer you're just you're okay that's that's that's cool rufus t rufus you're that's your name um of course there's i'm trying to think of other people who sometimes come on the show there's uh there's there's doodle poodle

Doodle Poodle: hi natty that's me doodle poodle i'm of course a dog a poodle who likes to doodle

Unknown: oh

Doodle Poodle: what's up does anybody want to do some drawings with me or anything

Natty Bumpercar: we're good doodle poodle thanks for stopping by natty listen he's not like on the movie where you got to say his name three times the the second you get into the fourth syllable of this you know the second syllable of the second word so the fourth syllable he's already running down the hall thinking you know this is his big shot um yes okay i get it pig uh poodle um uh but your name's not like natty host your name's natty bumper car which makes no i don't even listen people come up to me in the street and they go so is that actually his real name and i say yeah his name is rufus t rufus it's you know it's the same forward and back i guess i don't know and they're like no no no no no no no the other one yeah i'm i'm i don't i don't appreciate you bringing my name into this uh but i do kind of like that uh people do bring me up for i'm what you would call consider a uh fan favorite at this point uh voted most likely to be succeeding from the bumper podcast uh king i was a king of prom at the bumper podcast that one year uh i brought in the most donations at one time president of the class of the the bumper the bumper podcast i have a lot of uh superlatives that i like you know that i i've earned over the years and i'm proud of it you know and i just want people to know about yeah of course so i i am not just rufus t rufus i am so much more than that

Producer: all right i agree and oh my goodness i am so sorry i am yawning it has nothing to do

Natty Bumpercar: with you going on and on uh listing everything that was in no way made up all the superlatives that you have earned um anyway yeah so uh yes that is sure it's my real name pig why did you don't have to engage with these people they uh it was actually my family like um you know cousins yeah and my kids okay grandpa's a family reunion okay gotcha yeah so i felt like i had to understood thank you all right i'm not i'm not gonna go to a family reunion where they're like we're kind of worried about you are you sure that this is the right career path for you and i'm like yeah it's going well then they're like but his name uh is it bumper car seems to be a strange name is all i'm saying yeah and again i okay i totally agree uh but i think what i had to ask in that situation is you can just you can take it you know listen to them and you know i don't know just kind of agree and uh walk away or something i don't know i thought we were pals we're not even if y'all pals the the blood uh the family family reunion is thicker than any kind of water or substance uh or whatever it is you know that we have going on here we're kind of like a work family right you know we come in i assume i'm like uh i don't know uh i'm the funny uncle uh uh let's see here uh uh uh natty you're like that the uncle that gave up a long time ago um aloe vicious you know i'm gonna you're gonna be like the den leader i assume yeah that's perfect that's what i've always

Producer: aimed to be for this group the den leader yeah and so let's see here we have the funny cousin her uncles the cut the the for the day i don't i forgot all the things you just said but what is what does that leave open for me like what did i possibly be in this whole scenario oh producer anytime i hear the word

Natty Bumpercar: scenario i get excited here we here we go here we go no how does it here we go y'all yo here we go yo say something something scenario you guys know that song what song i'm talking about out of all the terrible things that you haven't done on this podcast that was by far the worst one i've ever heard you took a classic song of the uh hip-hop genre and you uh you did that to it it's you know it's got a flow it's supposed to have a flow like here we go yo here we go yo yeah it's boom bap boom bap not whatever elevator music now hold on there's elevator music right but what is the escalator music did that was that ever a thing can we invent that little speakers oh you know what i'm talking about we do escalators of the future right when you go to get your car washed you go in and there's rainbow lights everywhere and it's this big exciting adventure oh it's rainbows and it's cool let's do that with escalators so you're going down and and it's got like uh led lights won't be bomb lights you know cool lights and uh i don't know some sort of a like a soundtrack right you know and it can become like that movie with a dude stepping on the piano and uh and you know so everyone's kind of playing with each other and it's it just seems like it'll bring the community together all right well i i i'm gonna admit i i hold on i don't not like that i do like that i think it's a nice idea especially like the led lights and i don't know i think but before we make uh escalators like fun and you know like an adventure we should probably make escalators that don't try to murder people because i um that's the thing you know if people don't people they and they have children they really start to freak out about it they're like whoa the escalator's gonna get you you better tie that shoe you better not sit on that step what are you doing putting that bag on there it's gonna grab that get your hands and hair away from that escalator come on you can't play with it like that it's dangerous and then now we got a whole society of people terrified of an escalator go to places with multiple levels you look around all them escalators just empty just nobody on them just a couple tumbleweeds just tumbling down the stairs you know i i know what well well hold on i i i agree i don't i can't believe that i do but i actually do agree um escalators we're kind of like uh quicksand uh you're terrified of quicksand growing up they're kind of like uh bees how my children treat bees like uh every bee is out to get them and if the bee does get them then that's the end of all things uh and now and in escalators yeah they're telling you you're gonna you're gonna lose limbs on this thing right so maybe uh pig you're right maybe we need to do what the kids are calling a glow up on the uh on the escalators

Producer: and uh hold on a second we're not gonna blow up any anything no blowing up escalators we have to cut this okay everybody take the equipment we're gonna go and hide we can't say stuff like that on

Natty Bumpercar: on the air yo god chill out we're not first off we're not even on the air we're a podcast but also he i think he said glow glow yeah like you said yeah it's like you're supposed to glow glow it up i don't i don't really know what it means but glow it up the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast podcast patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloysius j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

Unknown: you

October 25, 2025
Bumperpodcast #462 – Season 3 – Montclair Comedy Festival

Natty Bumpercar announced co-producing the Montclair Comedy Festival in Montclair, New Jersey, from November 13-15. The idea stemmed from his job loss and subsequent anxiety attack. Natty secured the festival’s URL, trademarked the name, and assembled a committee to review over 100 applicants. He built a website and an app for ticketing and show announcements. The festival gained support from venues and Eventbrite. Natty highlighted the importance of inclusivity and the role of his friend Suzanne in organizing the event. Despite challenges, the festival is on track, and Natty feels accomplished and excited.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

In this special episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares exciting news about co-producing the Montclair Comedy Festival in New Jersey, scheduled for November 13-15. Natty recounts how getting laid off from his job sparked a whirlwind of creative energy that led to organizing an entire comedy festival in just months. He discusses his long history with Montclair comedy, including 15 years producing shows at Tierney's Pub, and how the late Pat Grillon inspired his comedy journey. Natty details the festival's development process, from securing the domain name and trademark to building custom apps for performers and managing over 100 applications. Despite Aloysious J. Pig's brief interruption at the end, Natty successfully shares his passion project with listeners before anyone can derail the conversation.

Memorable Quotes

“I got laid off on a thursday and i immediately just went into a shell inside myself in the corner and um i was kind of rocking back and forth in the corner and then i rocked too hard and the shell cracked open”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I have big, dumb ideas, but then she can use spreadsheets, and then she makes it make sense.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“Everything's going to be super smooth and super easy. What are you doing? We're recording an episode now? I didn't mean to talk over you.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #comedyfestival #montclair #liveevents #showproduction #careerchange #mentalhealth #creativeprojects #stand-upcomedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: all right i'm gonna get to it right now i'm gonna get to the point we're not gonna doddle i have fun exciting news and i want to tell you about it before anyone even comes in the studio and bothers me or interrupts me or tries to tell me something silly hi this is natty bumper car with a bumper podcast and the cool news is that i'm helping co-produce the montclair comedy festival in montclair new jersey november 13th 14th and 15th and i am like so beyond excited i have wanted to do a festival type thing for a long time i've done benefits i produce shows uh we you know all kinds of stuff but finally like i don't know what happened but something in me just uh oh wait that's right i got laid off from my job and then i had an anxiety attack and i didn't sleep for like three days and that's not good but the good thing that came out of that was a festival which is strange but that's what happened i uh i got laid off on a thursday and i uh immediately just went into a shell inside myself in the corner and um i was kind of rocking back and forth in the corner and then i rocked too hard i and i bumped and i the shell cracked open and i was and there i was And I thought, I got to do something. I can't just sit here and be sad. Let's go. We got to figure this out. And so I started thinking, Montclair Comedy Festival. Montclair has Montclair Pride. They have the Jazz Fest. They have a literary festival. They have Montclair Film. The Walnut Street Fair. I don't know. That's different. But you get the point. There's a lot of stuff going on in Montclair. And there used to be a comedy club there, right there on Bloomfield Avenue. It was called Rascals, and it's not there anymore. And so I said, well, that's strange. Let me research this to see if it exists. And I looked up Montclair Comedy Festival, and there was nothing. So I got super excited, and I went and I got the URL, montclaircomedyfestival.com. And then I went and I got all the socials. And then what did I do? I went and trademarked the name. And I don't know if you know this, but I actually helped produce a show there for like 15 years. On every Sunday night for 15 years. Rain or sleet or snow, but not ice. And not big time sports games. Sports games? Yeah, sports games. And it was great. It was at a place called Tierney's Pub, and it's on Valley Road. And it was upstairs, and when the pandemic hit, it kind of went away. And I think everything went away. And I was kind of like, oh, okay, there goes Tierney's. And the main person whose show it was, her name was Pat Grillon. And she went away. She just said, no more for me. And she passed away, which is horrible and depressing and sad. But, you know, I kind of didn't know what to do because it was her show. And for people who don't know, it's her fault that I started doing comedy again, really. When we moved up here from Georgia, I started doing it a little bit back there when we were in Georgia. But I had no intention. I was kind of… I was like, it's done with me. Okay. And then I passed this place, and it had a big banner outside. And it's like, comedy, Sundays, blah, blah, blah, beer thing, whatever, special. And I was like, huh, all right. And finally, I got up the gumption. I don't know. It wasn't like I didn't get up the gumption of the courage. I just finally remembered to pull in. And so I did that on a Sunday, and I went up. There was up these stairs, very steep stairs, very creaky stairs. And I got to the attic where it was and walked in. And there was just this woman there. And I was like, hey, this is who I am. This is my story. I want to… And she was like, okay. Like, immediately. That's what she did. And so then she gave me a date, and off we went. And really just… So great. So wonderful. And then over the years, I just kind of ended up trying to be as big of a help as I could, just because I could learn, and I could get more stage time, and I could host a lot, and I could figure stuff out. And it was a great learning experience. But then again, when the pandemic happened, and when she passed away, I was kind of like, all right, well, comedy was fun. Comedy was great. And I don't want to do it anymore. But then it came back. We started doing outdoor shows. Some people did a lot of Zoom shows. I only did a few because I found it very confusing to be sitting on my couch, staring at people in their little squares. And then they're like, all right, it's your turn. And having to turn on your microphone and be like, ah, here's my jokes. Ah. Anyway. So what happened? What happened? What happened? Oh, yeah, outdoor shows. And then my pal Suzanne, she found a place called LaSara Gardens, which is next town over. And I guess they have a stage in the back. And she was walking around one day, and she just went to the owner, like just went to her and said, hey, could we have a show here, comedy show? And like, I don't. I have no concept on how you do that. But she did. And good for her. Because we've been doing shows there for like three years. Sweet and sour comedy, right? And so we've been doing shows there. We've been doing private shows. We've been doing benefits. Kind of all sorts of stuff. And that's been wonderful. And then last year, I don't know if you remember, but I was talking about Jaws the musical. And we were producing that as sweet and sour comedy. We were in it. And we applied and got into the. New York Fringe Festival, which was super cool and super weird and different and scary for me because I had not I don't I had to learn songs at a learn lines. I had to sing songs, you know, and I had to they did blocking. What does that mean? That's what you're supposed to be. What do you mean? When we had the specific time that you say that you're supposed to look over there and be over there and then do that. And it's just like, oh, I have to. OK, I have to put all of that into my brain. And it's like. It's like an hour long thing. Perfect. Great. This is going to work out well. Well, it did. It was fun. And the festival happened and it went great. And, you know, it was a big experience and another big learning thing. And then we kept doing shows back to the stand up stuff, the normal stuff. And then, you know, I'd kind of talked about festival stuff every so often, but it just seemed like a big impossible thing. And then when I got laid off. On a Thursday and then I had the panic attack, I just I did all that stuff. I found a URL and then I built the Web site and I all this stuff was just like I figured out the structure of how I wanted to get people into the festival as far as like them applying. And I got a committee of people from around the country and so that they could watch the videos and fill out a rubric and they would take the rankings from that. And we put it into spreadsheets. So we had all the rankings and we were able to look at different aspects of their rankings and, you know, just like kind of do it from a more fair perspective than just, hey, we're having a festival. Hey, we're going to have all of our friends on it. You know, that's that's that's something that's fine if that's what you want to do. But I was trying to make it just a more inclusive thing. Right. I didn't even watch the videos because I wanted to be hands off from that. And we had over 100. People apply, which is bananas to me and kind of in the same time as that. Oh, wait. So so I went to Suzanne on like Monday or Tuesday and I was like, hey, we're having a festival. She's like, what? And I was like, Montclair Comedy Festival. And she's like, when next year? And I was like, November. And this was in like May or June or something. And she was like, no, too much, too fast. No. And I was like. It's all done because in my head it was. And, you know, we got we got all of the people applying and then we started talking to venues and everybody was super receptive. And we're like three weeks away. It's it's I don't know what date it is today, but it's sometime in October, mid-October. And then that's in mid-November. And it's going so great. It's so weird. Like I had to build and develop. An app for the website to pull in all the ticketing stuff from Eventbrite, which is like our ticketing platform. And they reached out to us to be our official ticketing platform. They reached out to us. It's weird. Who are we? Sweet and sour. And, you know, how to learn how to do press releases. And then I built this cool app for the website also, where when the people got into accepted to the festival, they were like, oh, we're going to do this. And then I built this cool app for the website also, where when the people got into accepted to the festival, they were like, oh, we're going to do this. And then I built this cool app for the website also, where when the people got into accepted to the festival, they were like, oh, we're going to do this. They have a page where they could go and they can actually just they can pick three skins and then they upload their picture and they're able to move their photo around in the pictures. And then it's like Montclair Comedy Festival and then in the date. And it's kind of like an announcement like, look at me. I'm in this thing. And people used it. And it was great. And then once we got all the shows named and we got them all organized and all the lineups done, then we were able to. And seriously, I could not have done this stuff without Suzanne. I tell her this all the time. She was able to, you know, I have big, dumb ideas, but then she can use spreadsheets, and then she makes it make sense. And so she was able, she was like, all right, I got all these people from this show doing this and this and ba-ba-doo-ba-da. So we could contact the people and send them out, like, show-specific information. Hey, you're on this show. It's at this time. It's at this place. And when we did that, we gave them a link to another little thing that I built where they could build their own show flyer or poster with their, you know, put their picture in, type their name in, and move the name around wherever they wanted it to be. And that was, it was, it's fun. You know, it's fun to think up these things and then figure out how to make them happen. And then it's terrifying when you go to send the main emails out and the website just dies, crashes. And you're like, why did this happen? I don't know. Just to keep me on my toes. So that's kind of where we are at this point. And it's exciting. And I'm excited. And my therapist was like, hey, this is kind of a lot. And I was like, yes, yes, this is a lot. This might be too much. But my whole theory, my logic is at least I'm not still. I'm still in my shell, crying and rocking in the corner. Like, I took all of that terror and scary and whatever, and I was able to do this giant thing. And every so often, like, I do kind of blink my eyes and go, what have I done? What are we, how are we doing this? And I've been just making lists and lists and lists and going down the list and crossing things out. And we have volunteers. And I don't know. Overall, people seem to be excited about it. Which makes me beyond happy. And hopefully, you know, the next three, four weeks are just going to go by without a hitch.

Aloysious J. Pig: Everything's going to be super smooth and super easy. What are you doing? We're recording an episode now? I didn't mean to talk over you. Hey, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig. Is it time for the Bumper Podcast? Nope. Nope.

Natty Bumpercar: No. To both of you, I did it. I managed to record an entire episode without anybody. And I got to talk about the Montclair Comedy Festival. And we'll talk about your stuff again, I'm sure. Because we always end up talking about your stuff. But today, it was my day. And I'm excited. MontclairComedyFestival.com.

Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar, and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and rating. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at NattyBumpercar.com. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at NattyBumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

October 18, 2025
Bumperpodcast #461 – Season 3 – Love and love and love

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Rufus T. Rufus tries to pick up where he left off in the last episode, where he was telling the gang all about how he had fallen in love. As can be expected, he doesn’t get very far …

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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October 11, 2025
Bumperpodcast #460 – Season 3 – Game of Love

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, there is a song. A nifty song. Then everyone is distracted when Rufus falls for an internet scheme … of love?

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In this chaotic morning recording of Bumperpodcast episode 460, Rufus T. Rufus is determined to continue his story from the previous episode about being in love—a rarity for this typically non-serialized show. The early 7 AM recording time has left host Natty Bumpercar struggling with his speech and energy, while Producer battles a frog in his throat. As the minutes tick by with endless banter about who will talk about what, Rufus finally reveals he met someone special named "RNBW" (rainbow with numbers and an upside-down cat emoji) through a mobile game's chat feature. Despite Natty's skeptical tone—which everyone keeps calling out—Rufus enthusiastically describes his budding digital romance with this mysterious gamer who always seems to log in right after he does. The episode showcases the show's improvisational comedy style as the characters struggle to stay on track while producer and Natty can't help but question Rufus's new relationship.

Memorable Quotes

“I'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do. I'm a man about flowers, I'm gonna give you chocolates, I'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and make fun of seagulls.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“We have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast, four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back.”
— Producer

“Her name was rainbow but there was no vowels in there so R N B W rainbow and some numbers and somehow she put one of them emojis in there, a little upside down smiling kitty cat.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #love #onlinedating #mobilegames #relationships #morningroutines #podcasting #skepticism

Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Rufus T. Rufus: now as i was saying last episode i was talking about being in love and i can't wait to tell y'all all about it that's right i rufus yeah t rufus

Natty Bumpercar: and finally in love okay that's great and amazing that you actually are remembering what we did in the last episode and you've decided to continue it because that's not something we normally do we are not very good at being a serialized podcast um normally we record an episode and then uh by the time we walk out of the studio uh everybody's forgotten everything what and

Rufus T. Rufus: hold on you're okay but that you wait no i know yeah you don't know your voice sounds insane today like uh and you you had like a weird lisp now i'm doing it what's going on is it is it catching is it is it hey producer can you look up is this some sort of a lisp uh lisp all right that's that's rough lisp thing going around

Producer: sorry sorry i am all right something in my throat is probably a frog

Rufus T. Rufus: it's not a frog in my throat all right well you know uh evidently uh let's see here that little froggy producer over there he's got a little bit of a uh a cough a little tickle in his throat uh nutty you're up there i heard you with having a problem with your s's uh now listen to me i'm the only one here who can speak i can say lisp with no problem whatsoever okay i can say sally's selling seashells down by the studebaker at the seashore no problem but you know so i guess it's gonna be my episode today finally we're gonna focus on some real issues uh and and that's me my life and and me being in love no i'm fine i just it's we've never recorded an episode

Natty Bumpercar: this early in the morning and i do i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know feel like i've properly woken up it is and it's not really that early but it's it's seven o'clock in the morning and uh normally that we're not recording a podcast at this time but that's what we're doing today because we have so many cool things to talk about and yeah so we got to talk

Rufus T. Rufus: about my me being in love no i'm pretty sure that that's not on the uh docket i'm pretty sure that's not on the whiteboard it's we are not that's not what we're doing today um but natty take it away

Natty Bumpercar: okay yeah uh and if i if i'm to be honest the stuff i'm going to talk about now feels kind of weird and boring and uh i mean it's cool uh i mean but you know rufus is in love so it feels like that's kind of important too and i don't know if that i just i mean the stuff we're taught i don't know producer what do you think yeah well i um sorry

Producer: i had a little drink and my throat feels better the water is good for me i'm i think that we have already wasted almost four minutes of this podcast four minutes of everyone's life who is listening that they'll never get back and they're oh my goodness this is my for me you know and uh we could have already probably talked about the rufus whole situation and been done right and then you could talk about whatever it is you want to talk about but uh instead you know we just kind of keep going back and forth rufus is in love natty's good stuff to talk about and then everybody is on their bicycle or run their train whatever they however they listen to this and they're going well i don't know it's gonna talk about it are they gonna talk about anything at all i don't know it's kind of going back and forth and you know they're doing that in their in their head i'm hoping maybe they're looking around at other people if they're on a train and they're saying they're listening to this maybe that maybe maybe she's listening maybe that she's frustrated i can see her brow is furrowed but maybe she's frustrated because she's now listening to this and and she's at the same part maybe i am randomly you know and and she's like well they're gonna talk about anything and nobody knows because nobody they don't ever know if they're gonna talk about can we just i'm just i'm struggling you're struggling yes you're struggling

Rufus T. Rufus: uh natty over there he's being strictly business and what i'm talking about is is is is is i'm stuck in an is loop there is a matter of the heart it's a matter of the soul it's it's it's i'm not doing it again all right maybe i'm a little bit emotional maybe that's why i keep getting stuck now normally i come on here and i talk about the law right as i'm a lawyer but right now we're talking about a little bit we're getting a little bit deeper in with rufus little we're going past the skin we're taking back a few layers and we're looking at what makes him tick his heart right i'm a romantic everybody didn't know that but now you do i'm a i'm a man about flowers i'm gonna give you chocolates i'm gonna hold your hand at the beach and and we're gonna uh make fun of seagulls whatever you do at the beach i don't really go to the beach i'm afraid of it uh the water i don't this is gonna come get me i have dreams uh but i'm i'm what i'm saying is i'm here for you and i'm i'm ready to talk about my my relationship okay so uh natty producer has a point we were at uh when were we we were at four minutes now we're at six minutes and uh so we're really burning through the podcast and ain't talked about nothing and so uh let's i say we let rufus say his thing yeah and then we'll move on we can talk about your stuff at the end we'll give it a

Natty Bumpercar: good good segment all right that's fine i i don't even remember what i was i was excited to talk about some stuff and now i don't even remember what it was um i kind of checked out on the podcast a while ago um yeah okay go rufus go ahead and tell us whatever you i don't i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i'm excited to hear about it i know it doesn't you don't hear it my voice but i'm gonna blame it on being tired and um having a plan and that being just thrown away so let's focus on what we're doing and rufus t

Rufus T. Rufus: rufus you're in love i can't tell us about it yeah well natty i can tell by the tone of your voice that you was not sincere you was insincere right there and that's fine because you're a man who doesn't know about love you're a man who doesn't know about the magic of a relationship you know and uh that's that's unfortunate for you but that's a you problem and for me i'm gonna talk about what makes me happy and everybody out there who's listening they're gonna maybe it's gonna put a little pep in this step today all right so um well let's see here yeah instead of you just rambling i'll do that uh where did where did you meet where where's this where's who is this person where are they from yeah i like this this is good we're

Producer: gonna interview you okay here we go and where are they from rufus well remember last last time we

Rufus T. Rufus: was talking about the applications and the uh on my telephone and uh there's the games i like to play there's the one with the little jewels one that looks like candy candy but candy that's jewels but that it attacks you and there's a monkey i think and there's a it's in space i should mention that uh underwater space just go okay it's uncharted yeah sorry yeah anyway um so there's

Natty Bumpercar: a chat feature in these games and uh oh okay okay okay i remember we were talking about the games and you were giving them your credit card you're giving all the information and um oh oh um is this is this where you met the love of your life rufus now you know natty sometimes we had a problem

Rufus T. Rufus: where people don't like you right and and i think that's the problem i think that's the problem i think it's because of your tone i can normally i can't hear it but when it's directed towards me i can i can actually i understand where the people are coming from like you're saying words but there's something in them something under them right and and and and and uh i don't i don't i don't appreciate it and i don't like it all right yeah i met her on a game and and she had a cool name i think it was uh rainbow but there was no uh no vowels in there so r n b w rainbow and and then some numbers and uh and somehow she put one of them emojis in there little there's like a little uh upside down smiling kitty cat right now it's just that's just who she is she's just an individual she's perfect right and uh so we got to chatting oh boy i think this is an issue no no no no yeah we told you to stay away from the games because of stuff like this okay no no no this is completely different all right this is this is a real person rainbow numbers and then smile that uh i have i've built and fostered a real kinship with right we just started out we was on the same team and uh playfully you know talking back and forth yeah uh we share a lot of interests okay how did you share or yeah i would say stuff i was interested in and and she would say that she

Natty Bumpercar: very much interested as well okay that made me happy did she ever like initiate that like what she was interested in or was it just mostly coming from you and then she would agree well

Rufus T. Rufus: a lot of it did come from me because uh so she was on the uh front lines of the game the offense right the right out right out there in the fringe so she couldn't chat as much as me i was what they i was in the defense i was back i was crouched right back in the bushes but nobody could see me and so i would you know chat it up a lot and she would respond pretty short but it's always very

Producer: sweet and uh uh and and and hold on is this uh the person i remember you were saying you could the language you could uh start without you could blink at people or something or little lines or whatever so i don't really know how you would strike up a conversation with that kind you know but you know maybe you play a lot and maybe you just got a little inside jokes i

Rufus T. Rufus: don't know how you know right so what i noticed is that every time i would stop playing uh usually you know within i don't know uh for a short amount of time i would log in stop playing and then but a loop she would log in as well almost like we were on the same schedule right and and she was she would just a bit loop and then and then we you know chat and then we play the game and uh oh it just every time i played but loop there she is i was and i would say that too i would say well there she is and i'd send a little you can send you a little the whatever funny little line or whatever yeah okay um and i realized the tone of

Natty Bumpercar: my voice you were hearing was again because i'm very tired and i'm now i'm see i'm awake i had a sip of tea and i'm i'm ready to go uh nobody

Rufus T. Rufus: believes that natty everybody knows everybody's heard it everybody knows it there's a tone so just

Producer: let's you know keep going yeah there's absolutely a tone everybody agrees we actually sometimes we people listen to the podcast and they put a you can see they make videos and they put a little line to go okay there's the tone you know just like oh there's another and they do like um betting to see how many times well first off how many times you're going to talk in the episode because a lot of times you just don't hear at all and then the other times is how many times is he gonna have the time okay well then

Natty Bumpercar: i'll i have something to work on great now let's can we just keep talking about rufus and figure

Rufus T. Rufus: out what's going on with him please you see that was it again every time you talk now i hear it i feel like it's every time you speak there's a little bit of undertone a little bit of uh a little bit of something there yeah i hear it too now how do i get in on this betting thing because that does sound kind of fun it makes the show more interactive no

Natty Bumpercar: i don't like can we just focus on rufus please and leave me alone

Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloysius j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

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October 3, 2025