Tag: podcast

  • Bumperpodcast #355 – Kid Football

    Bumperpodcast #355 – Kid Football

    Natty has a couple of helpers on today’s podcast. One is a one word answer giving football star, and the other is really good at the trampoline – and running from the dog.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this heartwarming family episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar celebrates his son Emerson's triumphant football playoff game where he scored his first touchdown of the season, helping the previously winless Jaguars defeat the Cowboys 24-6. The episode features both of Natty's sons, with Oliver sharing his pool adventures and touching his father's heart by making him a custom mug after his original tea mug broke. The family discusses their upcoming plans to visit Time Warp Comics and see Spider-Man, while dealing with the challenges of their new 16-week-old puppy Princess Poppy. This casual, improvisational episode showcases the genuine dynamic between Natty and his children, complete with tangents about birthdays, podcasting techniques, and puppy training struggles.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Oliver did the sweetest thing in the world this week it made my heart cry a little bit… Oliver went to camp and he made me a new mug for my tea.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Ladies and gentlemen, what you're hearing right now is the love of a father and a son over tea. Tea for me.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You know who you are? You're my best friend.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #football #fatherhood #family #sports #children #puppies #heartwarmingmoments #flagfootball

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Good googly moogly I was out on the field today watching some football and I want to tell you people that the world needs heroes right now and I have one of the heroes standing next to me this is the bumper sports podcast coming to you live and I'm talking about the gridiron I am talking about the trenches I am talking about the men against men fighting for inches for yards with the football ladies and gentlemen what I saw today was the pinnacle was the peak was the high point of sports entertainment in all across the land so if you know who I'm talking about and I think you do you're gonna be very excited if you don't know who I'm talking about then I'm about to educate you if you don't know nothing about football then you don't know nothing about nothing but you know who does my next guest also I forgot to say welcome to the bumper podcast what's going on my man oh hi are you kid football are you the super speeder are you the running machine oh well this is more exciting than I thought it was gonna be tell me what happened today on flag football Sunday playoff you ran the whole field so you were on one side of the field and then you ran where was it again the entire football field I am very very very impressed did you how did it feel felt good are you gonna give me one word answers for the rest of the show no oh there he goes ladies and gentlemen kid football best football play I saw all day all day you know what I'm saying all right I'm gonna hand this over now we're gonna talk to somebody else somebody also very important in my life somebody who is a trampoline wizard somebody who can run from a dog in the back of the car and run from a dog in the backyard like you don't even know what's happening like it ain't even hard at all let's and lemons and then it's a little bit right pa this is a blip blip blip blip blip ladies and gentlemen here he is Oliver Cornelius tell me what's going on what is my name my name is sporty bumper car I guess I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I didn't really think too I didn't think too hard about the I didn't think obviously I didn't think too hard about the voice because I was baby it was basically Rufus T Rufus and the name I obviously didn't think about very hard either hey everybody it's me Natty bumper car we had a big football game today with Emerson he did wonderful his team that Rufus is gone Rufus that wasn't Rufus that was sporty bumper car remember we just established that yeah usually I work that stuff out before starting the podcast today I did not do that today I did not do that today I did not do that today I did not do that today I did not I did not but Emerson so his team was the Jaguars he played flag football his team was 0 and 5 that means they had lost five games a whole season and then they're in the playoffs they're playing the Cowboys who were 1 and 4 which means they won one game lost four games and lo and behold the Jaguars came through what was the final score 24 to 6 was the final score so Emerson scored a touchdown it was his first touchdown and he was the first to score a touchdown of the season I was a very proud papa that other thing was in the preseason all right so anyway Ollie tell me about yourself what'd you do today I went to the pool you went to the you played pool no I went to the pool oh you went to the pool I see how was that good did you float on top did you sink to the bottom did you float on top or did you

    Unknown: swim a little bit did you go off the diving board the high dive I wasn't even there and you went off

    Natty Bumpercar: the high dive who protected you who saved you you don't even love me anymore you don't even need me oh thank you Oliver did the sweetest thing in the world this week it made my heart cry a little bit so what happened was I had a mug of tea it got knocked over it got cracked and broken and I was so what happened was I had a mug of tea it got knocked over it got cracked and broken and I was sad and then Oliver went to camp and he made me a new mug of tea and a new mug for my tea and what did you want to write he made me a new mug of tea and a new mug for my tea and what did you want to write you dad and what were you gonna put next to the words Oh it's but like I because I didn't have that mug we had an old mug and I added you THANK YOU standing with me and you can point the finger I through the google right there this is the

    Unknown: first one after the third the fifth and fourth are twelfth from the fourth is the number one and you're going to play a game and you're going to have a game tomorrow don't you think you're gonna play I didn't have that much time.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's okay. I loved it so much. It was the sweetest thing you've ever done in my entire life.

    Unknown: I changed it to that I love you.

    Natty Bumpercar: Aw. Ladies and gentlemen, what you're hearing right now is the love of a father and a son over tea. Tea for me. What's that? That little line right there? Whoa. Ollie, who is a professional podcaster at this point, noticed, because we do use templates for our Bumper podcast, that one of the tracks was not cleared out by our engineer, producer. I'm very sorry about that. It's okay, producer. But listen. And so he saw that there was a track coming up that was going to interfere with our vocal track, and so he quietly let me know, and we paused it and fixed it. High five. High five, Bumper podcaster. Good. Bumper podcaster. Bumper pod… Bumper… Bumper…

    Unknown: Bumper podcast group.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, Bumper podcast group. Bumper podcast cateers. Where are we headed to now, guys?

    Unknown: Time Warp and then the movie theater.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, we're headed to Time Warp Comics here in lovely Cedar Grove, New Jersey.

    Unknown: And then we're going to see Spider-Man fall from home.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then we're going to see Spider-Man fall from home. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man.

    Unknown: That is not going to make it. That is definitely not going to cover my eyes when Spider-Man is fighting the Fire Monster.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, Oliver, you're too young to see Spider-Man, aren't you?

    Unknown: I'm going to cut all your hair.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emmy, stop. See, we're actually doing something. Why don't you go upstairs and get ready, and then we'll come up and get you.

    Unknown: And my dad's dad sent the Nairam some stink bombs.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, it's true. I did get a bottle. I did get a box in the mail that had not only stink bombs, but emotional bombs as well. Ah.

    Unknown: What?

    Natty Bumpercar: What? What does that even mean? No. Emotional. That's what I said.

    Unknown: Are you going to use them?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you know whose birthday is this week, Ollie?

    Unknown: Emerson's.

    Natty Bumpercar: Huh?

    Unknown: Emerson's?

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it Emerson's birthday this week?

    Unknown: I have zero idea.

    Natty Bumpercar: You have zero idea whose birthday it is. That's interesting. Let's see if we can find your brother. Hey, Emerson. Are you around? Do you have any idea? So we're coming up. Whose birthday is next in our family?

    Unknown: I think it's Emerson's.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's whose? It's mine. It's my birthday. When is it? Do you know? No idea?

    Unknown: No idea.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ollie has zero idea. Well, guys, funny thing. To get these tickets to see Spider-Man, you actually have to know when my birthday is. So I guess it's today. Is it really? No, it's not today. When is it? I'm not telling anybody. You know what, Bumper Podcast Cateers? No, this is what's living right now. You love me more than my own children. On my phone, I replaced the picture of my children and put my dog, Princess Poppy, on there. Even though she doesn't sleep. Even though she bit Emerson's arm today. Because she's a beast.

    Unknown: And she bites me.

    Natty Bumpercar: She bites Ollie all the time. We are in that biting puppy phase. And it's not super pleasant. The what?

    Unknown: Sometimes a kicker.

    Natty Bumpercar: What?

    Unknown: Sometimes a kicker.

    Natty Bumpercar: A kicker?

    Unknown: I sometimes, I kick.

    Natty Bumpercar: No! You're not supposed to do that. That's bad. That's mean.

    Unknown: Wow.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ladies and gentlemen, we… We've been doing this for a long time. Do not. We love our dog very much. And she's 16 weeks old.

    Unknown: We've been doing this for a long time.

    Natty Bumpercar: We've been doing it for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. Should we wrap up? Should we quit? Should we go?

    Unknown: We should never quit.

    Natty Bumpercar: We should never quit. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the 24-7, all-year-round, 365-days-a-year bumper podcast. It's a live stream. It's going to be on for the rest of your life. Please listen. Please like. Please subscribe. You are amazing. Huh? Okay. Oh, wait. We're going to get another friend over. I thought that was a pretty good out. But evidently, Ollie didn't think so. So he's going to go over into… To the basement here at headquarters and find a new friend. Oh. Hey, puppy dog. Who are you? Shrug. The puppy dog shrugged at me. Okay. Bye, puppy dog. Okay. Go away. You're sullying our beautiful podcast. So, Emmer is a touchdown scorer. Ollie is a trampoline monster. And Ollie is a trampoline monster. And I am Natty Bumpercar. And you, you know who you are? You're my best friend. Bumper podcast! Yes! This is what I mean!

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  • Bumperpodcast #354 – Sleepy

    Bumperpodcast #354 – Sleepy

    Everyone is so amazingly tired in this episode. Luckily, Producer is here to help things along!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this exhausted episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and the entire crew are completely worn out from taking care of Popcorn, their new 14-week-old puppy. Producer attempts to host the show while everyone keeps falling asleep, including Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle. The episode features a hilarious succession of characters trying and failing to stay awake as they discuss the challenges of puppy ownership, from middle-of-the-night wake-ups to accidents and teething destruction. Natty ends with helpful advice about considering older shelter dogs for adoption, since puppies like Popcorn wake up as early as 4:45 AM and eat everything in sight.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Did you know that if you get a puppy, you don't sleep anymore? Popcorn the puppy is awesome, but she does not sleep.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I require between fourteen to sixteen hours of uninterrupted sleep per day as well as three to four naps. Not a minute over not a minute under.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “The latest she's woken up is 5.19. That's too early! I'm not a farmer. I'm a sleeper.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #puppies #pets #sleepdeprivation #dogadoption #animalrescue #exhaustion #puppytraining

    Featuring: Producer, Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Producer: So I think that everybody is asleep right now. It's me, Producer, and I'm here to do a podcast. It's going to be a very froggy podcast because everybody's very tired and you'll see because it's the puppy dog. The puppy dog is not asleep and so everybody's super super super tired. Me, I'm a frog and so I'm used to sleeping in awkward positions and situations and so I'm very fine. I'm very springy. I'm very wide awake. Oh, hello. You all are wet. I'm so tired. I can't believe I'm tired.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, Hi Pupper Podcast. Oh man. Have you ever thought about getting a puppy? Did you know that if you get a puppy, you don't sleep anymore? You're, I, man. Popcorn the puppy is awesome, but she does not sleep. She, she, we put her in her little crate at night and then she wakes, she, in the middle of the night, she, yep, yep, you know, and then she,

    Producer: um, nothing. Natty, you okay? You need to take over. Okay, you seem very groggy right now. I think probably best idea you don't do the podcast because, you know, go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Natty. Natty. Natty.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Natty. Pat Pat Pat. Oh, oh, está bien. Hi, it's, me, sleepy Aloysius J. Pat. Well, I don't know whose idea it was to bring a baby puppy into headquarters here. But, I require my beauty sleep, all right? I require between fourteen to sixteen hours of uninterrupted sleep. sleep per day as well as three to four naps they can be 20 minute naps or they can be 45 minute naps not a minute over not a minute under I don't get my sleep I get very very grumpy what's what's bumper got doing on the floor anyway

    Producer: I believe that he is doing a little bit of snoring I'll turn his microphone off because we are trying to do a podcast right now so I don't want to bother the people okay you guys are both very tired I am not tired I am not tired no I'm not not tired okay you're tired

    Aloysious J. Pig: okay

    Unknown: yeah you know because I I just I'm not okay you're okay

    Producer: oh no you're snoring as well I'm gonna have to turn your microphone off go to sleep okay the pig is asleep the bumper car is asleep it seems like every oh no

    Doodle Poodle: this baby dog is running me wild I'm the most

    Producer: tired puppy on the whole planet um yes everyone's very sleepy and the puppy probably really likes you because you're so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired you're a dog as well and so you um but you're so very tired maybe do you remember when you were a puppy and you would run around and you would probably bite everything and I don't know pee on the couch and you know the funny thing that puppies do lose toys eat a shoe um you know all these things did you do it else

    Doodle Poodle: I don't think I really did any of that stuff I was pretty cool I don't think I really did any of that stuff I was pretty cool and calm puppy and I aaaaaaaaah I'm just really tired and stuff I don't even think I have the energy in me to doodle hmmmm I think I'm just gonna take a little nap and go to sleep if you don't mind alright

    Producer: alright even you are going to sleep too tired to doodle I don't even know what's happening. Everybody's going to sleep. It's just me now. No one else could possibly show up. I mean, who else even is in the house, you know, who could potentially show up? There's nobody. Just my show. Here we go. Oh, you, huh?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yes, but it's our Rufus. T-Rufus. And listen, this is, as a lawyer, I gotta say, it's just incorrigible, unconceptible that you, uh, oh, man, that dog that is in the house, what's his name, Popcorn, is making me very tired, and these are not acceptable working conditions, you understand? These are not working conditions that I can work around, that I can work within, that I can be with all, that I can be with, you understand? It's just too much. I can't even practice law right now. I can't do, I can't even crack open a law book and legislate or regulate or, you know, indoctrinate. I can't do none of it. I'm just too tired. And, uh, you know what? Everybody seems, look, there's Natty over there. There's Aloysius all curled up, Big Spoon, Little Spoon. Who's that? Doodle Poodle. Now, if he's tired, you understand, everybody's gotta be super tired. I, huh, I'm gonna take myself a little nap-a-doodle as well, you understand?

    Producer: Okay, so, you gonna sleep? Oh, you're coughing? Yep. You do that? Okay. Okay. I'm gonna turn, definitely gonna turn your microphone off. Okay, you're, okay, you're off. Okay. Now, we have the Doodle Poodle, Rufus the Rufus, the, uh, the, uh, Aloysius the Jet Pig, uh, Natty Bumper Cars over there, tired. You know, I'm not gonna lie, all these people sleeping and snoring over there, they're gonna be, meh, meh, meh, tired as well. Ugh, I just wanted to do a podcast, but it's very taxing. It's very taxing, it's very exhausting, and I just, oh, I'm tired as well. Ugh. You know, I think I'm, I'm not going to sleep, because I want to finish the podcast, but I just want to close my eyes for just a second and close my eyes and close… Ugh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ugh. Ugh. Hey, hey, hey, whoa, look at, would you look at this? Everybody's in the studio, and everybody's asleep. There's Producer, and there's, there's Rufus, Aloysius, Doodle Poodle, everybody. Man, I, I think I must have fallen asleep for a couple of minutes, too. Hey, everybody, it's me, Natty Bumper Car. Welcome to the Bumper Podcast. Um, I don't know what happened this podcast, because I was sleeping most of it, but I do know… I do know that having a puppy is wonderful, but it's also a lot of work. So, if you're ever going to rescue a dog, maybe consider rescuing an older dog. Um, not only because they need your love, I mean, puppies need your love, too, let's be honest, but sometimes older dogs in, uh, shelters, they get left behind because people are like, I want a new dog. Well, that old dog is probably going to sleep through the night. It's probably not going to eat everything in sight. I'm talking power cords, shoes, toys, blankets, uh, couches, chairs, cushions, stuffed animals, like flip-flops, everything, sunglasses, uh, there was a knife handle that was eaten, like everything gets eaten, which is fine, because she's teething. She's a baby. But then also, there's a lot of accidents that happen in the house, because she's not potty-trained, and we're trying to potty-train her, but it's tough, so we have little, little puddles everywhere and other stuff, too, and, you know, that's a lot to deal with, and then on top of that, she, she has a hard time sleeping through the night. She's getting better, so she's only 14 weeks old, so we're, uh, we're counting, we're counting our eggs before they're hatched? No, we're counting on her getting better and better, and we're training her to do right and to be a good dog. She's going to be a good puppy, and, uh, I love her tremendously. Popcorn's a great dog, but, uh, I mean, as you can see by everybody around here, we are broken. Tired, tired, broken. She wakes up 4.45 some mornings. The latest she's woken up is 5.19. That's too early! I'm not a farmer. I'm a sleeper. Y'all, Mumper Podcast!

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  • Bumperpodcast #353 – Monster

    Bumperpodcast #353 – Monster

    Emerson is on the Bumperpodcast today, and there is also a monster. They have a regular hoot!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig attempts to host a show called "Monster Interview Monster" but gets confused when his guest, a young human named Emerson, insists he's not a monster. The interview quickly derails as they debate who is and isn't a monster, with Aloysious struggling to understand the difference. Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, and Rufus T. Rufus each drop by to interact with Emerson, who has been mysteriously left alone in the studio. Meanwhile, a mysterious blue monster with peach horns and a fish tail keeps appearing and disappearing. The episode features the reveal of the studio dog's name (Popcorn) and ends with Rufus T. Rufus attempting to recruit Emerson in a scheme to take over the podcast.

    Memorable Quotes

    “you don't have fur like a monster you don't have a tail like a monster you don't have horns let me see your teeth no you don't have sharp pointy teeth like a monster are you sure you're a human”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I'm saying, son, piles of money. This whole podcast could become your podcast. All of this, one day, can and will be yours.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I went to the pig hospital 22 times, which was rough because my insurance only covered the first 20 visits.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #monsters #interviews #confusion #identity #childhood #imagination #studiochaos #legalschemes

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: um hello my name is monster and today i'm going to interview a monster so hi what is your name little monster i'm not a monster my name's emerson but i'm a monster and i supposed to do an interview show called monster interview monster are you a monster no what are you exactly a human a human let's see you no you don't have fur like a monster you don't have a tail like a monster you don't have horns let me see your teeth no you don't have sharp pointy teeth like a are you sure you're on are you so you're you're not a monster i'm not a monster am i a monster

    Unknown: yes why am i a monster because you have horns a tail oh yeah well i've got a ton of fur it

    Aloysious J. Pig: writes from my my my father monster side of the family so i thought of her okay are you um are you blue no you're not blue are you red no huh you're just kind of like kid you look like a kid basically to me i'm white okay well you're kind of peachy you're not really i mean white is you know the color i'd say you're more like silver have you ever seen yourself in the sun i'd say you're more bronze oh i don't go out i don't tan i don't

    Unknown: tan well other people will tan i don't i don't tan okay i do go to the pool have you ever been to the

    Aloysious J. Pig: pool yes you know they kick me out of the pool you know why because you're a monster good because i'm

    Unknown: a monster yes it's also because i'm so furry and then you're gonna spread infections in your fur

    Aloysious J. Pig: i'm not sick or nothing i'm just a monster okay what about your drools i thought it's true a little bit i don't you you drool no Nine. I heard you say that. I'm sorry. I got very confused. So wait, what does a nine-year-old do with their time to play and stuff? Their imagination. Is it their imagination? Yeah. So, okay, can we pretend imagination now? No. You don't want to play, right? So I was going to say this. I'm imagining that I'm a boat and I'm sailing to a place called Volcano and there's a carrot and I need someone to help me. Will you help me? What? So there's a poodle and he's eating a bagel and… Okay. Okay. And then we have to arrest the princess. Where's Natty Bumpercar? I don't know. He just… I'm on the schedule today for the monster… I'm going to kick you out. Please don't kick Kick me out. Kick. Ow! Okay. Nice talking to you. Okay. Hey Em, what are you doing here?

    Natty Bumpercar: Nothing. Are you doing a podcast? Yeah. Were you talking to yourself or? I was talking to this monster. What monster? Did you get his name? No. That happens too often. People come in here and they just start doing podcasts and they don't even sign up properly. How am I supposed to… I can't even charge him if I don't know who it is.

    Unknown: So if we can't charge him, we can't make money. Okay. I think his name was… I don't know. You don't know? Okay. Do you know what he looked like? He was blue. Okay. He had horns. Okay. Like peach horns. Peach horns? Yeah. Okay. And he had a tail that looked like a fish. A fish tail? Yeah. Ew. Okay. His eyes were bigger than… Like saucers? Yeah. Like you

    Natty Bumpercar: saw a saucer? Like a plate? Like a little plate? Yeah. Okay. I think I'm getting a pretty good description. So he was blue. He had horns that were peach colored. He had a tail that looked like a fish. And eyes as big as saucers. Okay. I'm going to track this monster down. And… He's outside. He's outside. Did he just go out? What did he do? He left you in the middle of an interview? Yeah. Did he just walk out by himself? Yeah. Weird. I would never do that. I would never just… Oh wait. Hold on. What's… Oh, I got to go take care of something. Can you keep talking for a few minutes? Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, bud. What's going on? Good. What is… I was looking for Natty. He's supposed to give me a paycheck today. I think he's with Popcorn. It's Paycheck Friday. He's with Popcorn? Yeah. The dog. Oh, we gave away the dog's name. That's right. Last week we were telling everybody that we got a dog. And now we said to find out the name, go watch this video, which we didn't link to the video. So no one's going to find it. But we're going to find it. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. But, so Popcorn… We have a dog named Popcorn here at Headquarters. Oh, also, hey everyone, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig. What? That's my name. You didn't know that? No, I didn't know that. Have we ever met before? No. I'm pretty sure we've met before. You're

    Unknown: the one that always used to beat me up, right? That was five years ago. Yeah, bro. I remember,

    Aloysious J. Pig: okay. I still remember these things. You do? Yes. You beat me up several times. Like every time you saw me, it ended up in a brawl and you're punching me and you're scratching and fighting. You're a little bruiser. I know.

    Unknown: And then you had to go to the hospital 20 times.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I went to the pig hospital.

    Unknown: 22 times.

    Aloysious J. Pig: 22 times, which was rough because my insurance only covered the first 20 visits.

    Unknown: And then the other time when we have another kid.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Who's the other kid? Oliver. Never met

    Unknown: him. Yes, you have.

    Aloysious J. Pig: What does he look like? Oh, wait. I did meet Oliver. He's the one with a blue fur. He's got peach horns. He's got a fish tail. That's not him? Who's that then?

    Unknown: He's my brother.

    Aloysious J. Pig: The monster is your brother?

    Unknown: No, Oliver is my brother. That's not his name. The monster's name is Oliver.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute. So, hold on a second. How many people are we talking about here? We're talking about one brother named

    Unknown: Oliver. Oliver.

    Aloysious J. Pig: And we're talking about some monster. Whose name we don't know?

    Unknown: Yeah, we don't know his name.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. This is very strange. Weird things happen around here, I feel. Yep. Oh, speaking of weird things, I just realized I have an appointment, so I gotta go. Okay? Can you keep talking? Yes. Alright. I'll see you later, kid. Good to see you. Please, thanks for not beating me up. I appreciate it. Ow! It's a hit.

    Doodle Poodle: Ah! Beautiful! It's a little fire here. Uh, hello? Who's this? Emerson. Toodle poodle. I heard that we got another dog in the house. You're a dog. I'm Noah. I'm a dog. That's why I was Where's the banana? I haven't drawn a banana in a long time. It's been like 20 years. It's been like 20 years since I drew a banana. It's been like 20 years since I drew. Oh. So what year was that? I don't remember.

    Unknown: Huh?

    Doodle Poodle: But like… Yeah. 1320 and I thought human was gricked just like, I just wish I would 've been one. What is it? What is it? I want a banana dog. Is that something in your memory? I thought I saw something in your memory. But it's a very famous cartoon. um. All. All. Yeah. Catch them all? Gotta, it makes more sense when you say that. Okay. Okay. Hey, it was good to see you, buddy. You too. I wanna go now? Okay. Okay. Where are you gonna go? That's a great question. I'm gonna go make some drawings. Okay. I like to doodle. Oh, no. What can I draw? What should I draw? A turtle. I'm gonna go draw a turtle. I'm gonna go draw a turtle. I'm gonna go draw a turtle. I'm gonna go draw turtle. It's gonna be a very slow drawing. Okay. Okay. Bye-bye.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Uh, now, excuse me, son. This is Rufus G. Rufus. Uh, now, what exactly are you doing in here by yourself? That is against the law. Or is it? Because everybody left me. There was a monster. My dad. Dude. Um. Aloysius was here. He owes me money. And who else? The little dog man. Uh-huh. Now, listen, uh, you, I just want you to know, when I say it is against the law, it is not against the law for you, but they are liable for leaving you in here by yourself, a minor, a youngster. So, what I am saying is, if you need representation, if you need a lawyer to sue them, this… I'm not gonna sue them. I'm saying, son, piles of money. This whole podcast could become your podcast. All of this, one day, you're one day, can and will be yours. Okay. You're gonna take it? Yes. Let's pink it, promise, pink it, swear. Okay. Rufus T. Rufus and Emerson are finally gonna take this thing down. We're gonna take it over. I will go work on the paperwork, okay? Okay. All right. Hey, kid,

    Unknown: I came back. The monster. Oh, my God. Why'd you come back and left me and then… I'm gonna kick you out again.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No!

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  • Bumperpodcast #352 – Whispering

    Bumperpodcast #352 – Whispering

    There is a LOT of whispering on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast – and, why is that? Well – you’ll have to listen to find out. It’s quite the story!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode #352 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar explains why everyone needs to be quiet at headquarters – there's a new puppy! Natty recounts the emotional story of how the Bumpercar family spontaneously adopted a beagle-black lab mix puppy after an eventful Saturday that included buying a basketball goal, renting a truck, and visiting a pet store. The episode details the heartwarming moment when young Oliver broke down crying at the thought of not getting the puppy, leading to family interviews and the ultimate decision to bring her home. Natty hilariously compares puppy ownership to having a newborn baby, complete with sleepless nights, bathroom accidents, and the puppy trying to eat everything in sight – including Natty's nose.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If she keeps growing every ten days, doubling up on her puppyhood, then I would say we maybe have eight months until she's as big as the house.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The mommy dog stuck her nose onto the cage. And baby puppy stuck her nose onto her mommy's nose. And she let out a whimper. It was the saddest, cutest, saddest, saddest thing I've ever seen.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “She goes to the bathroom in the house constantly. Human babies did that, too. But they had diapers. She doesn't.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #puppies #petadoption #family #parenting #sleepdeprivation #dogs #petstore

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Everybody has to be super duper quiet on the bumper podcast today. Hi everybody, it's me, Maddie Bumpercar, and I'm sure you're wondering, why are we having to be so quiet? Are we playing a game of hide and seek? No. Did we just put a cake in the oven and we don't want to scare it and have it fall? No. I wish we would have done that, now that I think about it. I would love to have some cake right now. Does anybody have any cake out there? No? Alright. Alright. Well, listen. Here's the reason why we have to be super duper quiet right now. There's a new baby at headquarters. There's a new baby! Okay, it's not really a baby, if I'm to be completely honest. But it's very small. And it's kind of like a baby. It's a puppy! We got a new puppy! I'm so excited. I can't even tell you. I don't think she can hear me. But maybe she can. She's got really good ears. She's a beagle, black lab, and we got her when she was eight weeks old. She was so tiny, and we've already had her for ten days, and she's already doubled in size. What that means is where there was one puppy. There are now two. And if she keeps growing every ten days, doubling up on her puppyhood, then I would say we maybe have eight months until she's as big as the house. So, I'm kind of hoping that doesn't happen. She was the runt of her litter, which means she was the smallest one. I'll tell you the whole story, okay? So, we had a big Saturday. I had purchased a basketball goal. It was already put together. But there was no way for me to get it home. My original plan was to walk the basketball goal the one and a half miles back to my house. But everyone said that's the worst idea ever. And I wasn't allowed to do it, which is fine, because it probably would have been the end of me. So, I said, okay, I'll come back tomorrow with a truck. I don't have a truck. But I went to the tool store, and I got a truck, and I loaded it up with all kinds of topsoil and peat moss and cow manure and raised bed soil. And I got a truck. And I loaded it up with all kinds of topsoil and peat moss and cow manure and raised bed soil. And two raised beds and all kinds of stuff. I loaded the whole truck up, and then I drove to the basketball goal. And the man who had sold it to me said, hey, I hurt my back. I can't help you put this in there. So then I had to lift the entire basketball goal all by myself into the truck. So what's going on, muscle bumper car? And then I drove it home, and I unloaded the truck. And I picked the basketball goal. And I put it over our fence, and I set it up. And then I cleaned the truck out, and I said, okay, bumper family, we're all getting into this truck, and we're taking a trip. And the kids got very excited, because they'd never ridden in a truck before. This was a huge day. We got a basketball goal. We're riding in a truck. And then after that, we went and got Mexican food. And they love Mexican food. They eat guacamole more than anyone I've ever seen. I love guacamole. They're probably, if they did a DNA test, they would come back at least 28% avocado. So we went, and they were just having the best day. And then we went to a little store that they didn't really want to go to. And then Ollie said, hey, let's go to the pet store and look at dogs. And I said, okay, because that's something we do. We treat the pet store like the free zoo, where we go. And we look at all the fish, and the iguanas, and the chinchillas, and the birds. And they were having cat adoption day. So there was a whole section of kitty cats. And we went, and we talked to the kitty cats. And there was one named Bowman, who was super cute, and who I wanted a lot. But Ollie's very allergic to cats. But he likes cats. So he was touching them, and touching them, and then touching his eyes. And then his eyes got all big and puffy. So then we had to go wash his face and his hands. Fine. And then we turned the corner, and there were more kitty cats to adopt. And so we looked at them for a second. And then way down at the end of the hall, there was a little cage. And in that cage was a little puppy, a little black puppy. And so we went all the way over to it, and she was so adorably cute. So we sat down, and we're talking to her, and we're playing with her. And this man was talking about her. And you know, there were two pregnant moms. Mom dogs that we found. And these are the puppies of one of the moms. Her two brothers got adopted already today. And oh, hey, look. Here comes mom. And so this family comes out with this mommy dog. And the mommy dog, it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. It was so nice that she was being adopted. But as they were leaving, the family said, oh, we should let you say goodbye to your baby. And so the mommy went over to the cage. And stuck her nose onto the cage. And baby puppy stuck her nose onto her mommy's nose. And she let out a whimper. She went like that. It was the saddest, cutest, saddest, saddest thing I've ever seen. At that point, I was like, oh, no. We might be in trouble now. So then I said, well, hey, can we walk around with this puppy? Can we play with it a little bit? Just to kind of see, you know? And they were like, yeah, you just got to fill out this paperwork. And I was like, OK. And they were like, even if you don't get it, you know, it's in our records. So you're good to go if you ever want to adopt. And I was like, OK. That works. And so I fill everything out. You have to put down phone numbers of friends who will say nice things about you. I didn't think anything of it. So but we were in the corner playing. And I even told them, hey, we just want to play with the puppy. Not sure if we're getting the puppy. Just looking. Just looking at the puppy. And then we were in the corner. And we're playing with a puppy. And someone came over. And they said, hey, your references. The phone numbers. The phone numbers that you put down. The people aren't answering. And I was like, oh, I didn't know you were actually calling them. I thought that we were just kind of looking. But here, I'll text everyone and just let them know what's going on. OK, thanks, she said. Now Ollie heard me say, we're just looking at the puppy. And we might not get it. And he got sadder than I've ever seen him get in my life. He went over into a corner. And he had his knees towards the corner, all tucked up. And his arms were over his knees. And his head was on his arms. And he started crying so hard that he was doing little hyperventilation. So little, like that. Very, very, very sad. So I went and talked to him. And I said, what's the matter, buddy? And he said, you said we were getting the puppy. And now we're not getting the puppy. And I want the puppy. And just, oh, it was heartbreaking. So I said to my wife, we might be getting a dog. Today, you know? And so then we had a little conversation about it. And then what we did is we each took one of the kids. I took Oliver. She took Emerson. And we interviewed them. And I said, what are you most excited about with this puppy? And, you know, I got his answers. And he was excited just to have the puppy because it would be fun. And it would be sweet. And it would be cute. And he was worried that it would make messes, basically. And then I switched. And I took Emerson. And she took Oliver. And Emerson was also, he was worried that the puppy might bite people and that it might make messes in the house. And he was just excited because he really liked the puppy, basically. So then we all got together as a family. And we compared notes. And we kind of just decided. We had been at the pet store for over an hour, like an hour and a half, making this decision. And we went back over. And we said, we'll take the puppy. And so now we have a puppy. And here's what they didn't tell me, which I didn't know because I don't think I've ever had a puppy. Maybe. Maybe I have. I don't remember. But they don't sleep. She doesn't. It's like having a newborn baby in the house. That's why I stopped whispering. And now I'm talking because I realized she doesn't let me sleep. Maybe I shouldn't let her sleep, right? She goes to bed at around 8.30. And then wakes up at around 11, which is when I tend to go to bed. So I take her out. And then 11. Then like 1, then like 3. And then she's finally up at 5, 5.30. This is for the last 9, 10 days that I've been doing this. And I have never been, well, I was going to say never been more tired. But I waited. I've actually had human babies. And they do very similar things. She's also, she goes to the bathroom in the house constantly. Human babies did that, too. But they had diapers. She doesn't. The other thing she does, she eats everything, cords, papers. She gets into it all. And she even tried to eat me. That's right. She tried to eat my sweet little nose. And what's her name? Oh, we made a video about that. You should watch it. Or I guess I could just tell you, right? Her name is…

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  • Bumperpodcast #341 – New Year, New Car?!

    Bumperpodcast #341 – New Year, New Car?!

    It’s the beginning of the year as I know it, and I feel fine. This episode is told in 3 acts – and, it’s all about getting a new car. Whaaat?!? Listen and learn!

    Also – before we forget, we’re thrilled to have been picked up by the Shining Wizards Network of podcasts. Double-hooray!!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

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