Tag: podcast

Bumperpodcast #382 – Sal Salesman

Who is Sal Salesman – and what plans does he have for Natty and the Bumperpodcast?! The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

About This Episode

In episode 382 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar's recording session takes a dark turn when the aggressive salesman Sal Salesman bursts in and criticizes everything about the podcast. Sal demands Natty hire a full staff, implement SEO strategies, and completely overhaul the show's operations. When Rufus T. Rufus attempts to defend Natty, he's tricked into signing a contract that gives Sal control of the podcast. The episode ends with a shocking twist: Aloysius J. Pig reveals he invited Sal Salesman and has worked with him before, leading to chaos as Rufus storms off and the future of the Bumperpodcast hangs in the balance.

Memorable Quotes

“You come to a locked door and you start to cry. I come to doors and they're locked and I kick those doors open and I give myself super excellent opportunities.”
— Sal Salesman

“This podcast is just about friends getting together and hanging out. If it takes off one day, great. But if it doesn't, totally fine.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“This is a tiny pond and there's only room for one shark here. And that shark's name is Sal Salesman.”
— Sal Salesman

Topics: #podcasting #business #betrayal #contracts #seo #friendship #takeover #comedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Bumper podcast it's me not a bumper car and I'm so happy to be here I'm so thrilled because I don't know that feels like the podcast is going in the right direction like people are listening and you know we're on we're on the nonproductive.com like their network now and and and I'm this is my second week in a row recording thanks life for letting me do my podcast and it's just everything feels like your podcast is garbage yes who are you why are you here why are you being mean to me

Aloysius J. Pig: just look around yourself you see this is not even a studio it's just a basement and your podcast

Natty Bumpercar: no one listens to it do you even have any s-t-o s-t-o what is s-t-o s-e-o oh I don't know if I have any s-t-o I just know that I come down here and yeah it is a basement but it's also my studio and I record my podcast every week and it's the bumper podcast and I don't know oh yeah exactly you don't know you don't know anything all you do is come down here

Aloysius J. Pig: yeah with all your little friends every week and this is what you have nothing to show for

Natty Bumpercar: that's not true I have a lot to show for this is my 382nd episode and people seem to like my show and they seem to listen to it and yeah my little friend my little friend my little friend my little friend Say hello to my little friends I was having a good day I was having a good day Anyway You're going to stop doing this podcast Until you figure out exactly what you're doing What your five year goal is And what your angle is And what your perspective is And what your niche is None of these things exist On your show That's not, well, it's the Bumper Podcast It's all about Coffee Can Alley And all the shenanigans that happen here at Headquarters With me, Natty Bumpercar Everyone's favorite comedian And his friends Aloysius J. Pig Rufus T. Rufus shows up Doodle Poodle Robot is even I don't know where Robot is right now, honestly But what do we It's just a fun show We don't have to have Perspective and niche And all these Who are you anyway? You haven't even told me Oh my My name is Salesman Sal And I'm here to offer you A deal of a lifetime A deal of the century A deal that will make your podcast Pop in ways that it currently Does not Okay, you're a salesman? You're the worst salesman I've ever talked to in my entire life Salesmen aren't supposed to be mean I don't, why did Why did you come in mean? You're supposed to like, if you want to sell me Something, it seems like you would come in nicely You don't know anything about the magic Of sales Do you, do you Look at me in the eyes and tell me That you do because you can't Because you don't What? You're now hiring Hiring? You're hiring No Put the ad out Go on the web and hire someone I'm not gonna hire anyone I don't make any money from doing the podcast Why do I need to start hiring people? Why do I need a staff? You need to go hire someone But you're gonna start taking notes And you're going to publish them With every episode And you're going to do SEO So do we know what that stands for At this point? It stands for super Excellent Opportunities I'm pretty sure it doesn't stand for that At all, but keep going With your sales bitch Now that you're here and you have me Hostage, you might as well just get it All out By the way How did you get here? How did you get here? How did you get in here? I come to doors I come to doors and they're closed I come to doors and they're locked And I kick those doors open And I give myself Super excellent opportunities Because I am made of S-E-O Something that you clearly don't understand You come to a locked door And you start to cry I don't start to cry When I come to a locked door I might get my keys out I might knock I might push the door about me But I don't cry Unless you're talking about that one time That I went to the ice cream shop And it clearly said that it was open And that the doors were locked And I could see people inside And they wouldn't let me in to eat ice cream Is that what you're talking about? That is not what I am talking about You're going to hire someone to also Along with your notes Along with your S-E-O To make new graphics New images For your videos For every single show You're going to have to hire people To distribute your podcast Around the world To all the ears that will listen to it An ad salesman will be hired as well What? You're going to need an office manager How many people are you expecting me to hire? I can't afford this I can't even afford one person Let alone like the five or six people That you just mentioned This podcast is just about friends Getting together and hanging out Alright? If it takes off one day, great But if it doesn't, totally fine Alright? I mean, I can't I'm not going to hire like a whole So you're saying I need To make show notes Which, okay, all these things are actually I've read are good ideas But show notes New graphics for every episode Get into podcast directorates That was something that you mentioned Kind of, I guess Yes And then the office manager Which I don't really I don't really know how that helps Or what that's for Do you even have a contest, Maven? Who does all your contests? Do you even do contests? Do you have merch? Do you do any of these things? How do you expect people to find you And listen to your podcast If you haven't even done any? Do you have a social Engineering team? A development arm Of your podcast? An application? You have nothing You don't even have a cleaning crew Down here, do you? I don't have a cleaning crew And your voice just kind of changed To European somehow I don't I was all happy at the beginning of the day And now I'm finding out all these things That I don't have And I was happy before I realized I didn't have them But now I'm like, oh, jeez I need to have all these things To make my podcast the best podcast it can possibly be You still haven't told me your name My name is on my business card Which I have put in front of you ten minutes ago Before you even started yammering on I put it on top of the pile of papers Which are your contract Now hold on, hold on, hold on One second here Did I hear the word contract bump a car? Yeah, Rufus, help Uh-huh Yeah Now who is this gentleman here on this, uh I don't know his name Dom suit suit That he's wearing in my establishment Until here You listen here to me, sir You have no idea Who you are You have no idea Who you are messing with I am podcasts I am the one I am the person Who is going to take this podcast To the stars And I am also going to take it away If he doesn't listen So, Rufus, really quickly Just to catch you up This guy just came in while I was about to record the podcast And he started making all these threats And saying I was doing everything wrong with the podcast He wants me to hire a whole team of people Which you know I can't do Because you have all my friends And all my money in your back pocket And I need help, please You're not allowed to carry your money around Because you get it stuck to the bubble gum And then it's all stuck together And we can't use it anymore Do you remember that? How much money we've lost over the years, Bumpercar? A lot of it A lot of it Exactly So, anyway, sir Again, let me just look at your car Your name is Sal Salesman? That's your name? Huh Well, I'm Rufus T. Rufus And I am the legal counsel for the Bumpercar Club Bumper podcast and headquarters And Coffee Can Alley Impromptu, impromptu And so I would appreciate if you'd stop harassing and haranguing my client It's inappropriate It's uncalled for And it's unnecessary We've got this podcast under wraps and under control And so I'm gonna ask you Not once, not twice But zero times To please exsort the room Get out with yourself It's very interesting that you've looked at my car Because what you don't understand is that Common new business practices are It's a trap Just by lifting my card up You have signed the contract, Rufus T. Rufus And so now I am the lawyer I am the SEO maven I am the contract contractual I, Sal Salesman Own this account and everything involved with it And so moving forward my lawyer friend You are the one who will be leaving You are the one who no longer belongs here No Good day, sir Rufus I say, good day No, Rufus, what are you just walking away for? Don't worry, Bumpercar I got this I've been down before I've been down before I've been down before But I am not out I will figure this out And I will be back I promise you This Sal Salesman, he's no lawyer He doesn't understand the law What he understands is money And taking money away from people And that's not what I'm about Rufus I will return Oh Natty, hey, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig What are you crying about? Why, like, this time? I mean, is that why they're all Hey! Sal Salesman, you came Good to see you Yes, I came and I saw And I took over I now run this show, Aloysius So thank you for the invitation I very much appreciate it It'll be good working with you again Wait a minute Big twist Aloysius, you're the one who brought this Sal Salesman into the show And you've worked with him before? I thought you and I And especially I thought you and Rufus, T. Rufus, were friends How could you do this to Rufus? Hold on, we're good Everything's fine, everything's okay Sal, I think you're just gonna work in concert with Rufus, right? No, Sal, this is a tiny pond And there's only room for one shark here And that shark's name is Sal Salesman And so, no more room

Aloysius J. Pig: What have I done? Oh, no, Rufus! Rufus, I gotta go catch him Bumper car, you gotta figure this out Rufus!

Natty Bumpercar: Okay, um, I'm so confused right now But you listen to me, Sal Salesman Other people have come into this show and tried to take it over And they've failed every single time And I don't really know who you are or what you're about Well, wait a minute The one that really tried to take it over was Rufus, T. Rufus And he did have a lot of control in the end Huh I mean We're gonna fight you the whole way But I can't promise you that we're gonna win And that this isn't your show now And, ah, I'm not really good at these speeches But next week we're gonna figure this out I promise you, Sal Salesman Indeed we shall Indeed we shall Oh Oh Oh

Producer: This has been a non-productive media presentation Executive producer, Frank Hablawi This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network Is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No-Derivatives License Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it For more information, visit non-productive.com

Aloysius J. Pig: For more information, visit non-productive.com For more information, visit non-productive.com

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July 17, 2020
Bumperpodcast #381 – Moving

What in the world is going on in the studio? What are Rufus and Pig up to – and how is Doodle Poodle involved?! The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

About This Episode

In episode 381 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar returns to the studio only to find Rufus T. Rufus and Aloysious J. Pig attempting to shut it down and convert it into a hot yoga studio. Doodle Poodle had been recruited to distract Natty while the move happened, but the plan fails spectacularly. Natty explains his recent absence was due to pandemic challenges, homeschooling, and dealing with his dog Popcorn's separation anxiety. The episode features hilarious confusion over whether they're discussing hot yoga or hot yogurt, and Natty announces the podcast's exciting new partnership with nonproductive.com. Trunks from Pig and Pals also makes a brief appearance in this chaotic return to regular programming.

Memorable Quotes

“Did you just say yoga or yogurt because hot yoga yogurt does not sound appealing or appetizing to me or anyone on the planet.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We're in the middle of a pandemic there's a lot going on, the kids are home, we're trying to work, we're trying to be teachers.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“It's a bumper podcast bumper as you will.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #podcastnetworks #contracts #studiodrama #pandemiclife #yoga #yogurt #doodlepoodle #yumya

Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Trunks, Producer

Full Transcript

Aloysious J. Pig: uh yeah so you're just gonna want to move all those shelves over to the near the door

Rufus T. Rufus: perfect perfect and uh be sure that they don't mess up any of that paperwork that's inside of those uh cabinets because they are very important to the whole situation yeah yeah yeah okay of

Aloysious J. Pig: course so guys just be what he said just be obviously be careful with everything you're moving look at that lamp it can go also get a water cooler it's all this is all gonna go out

Rufus T. Rufus: front okay hey guys what's well what's what's going on now uh hey uh natty bumper car uh well so what we're doing here is we're gonna clean out the studio uh it's not a money maker you understand and uh we're gonna turn it into a hot yoga studio did you just say yoga or yogurt because

Aloysious J. Pig: hot yoga yogurt does not sound uh appealing or appetizing to me or anyone on the planet i think he said hot

Natty Bumpercar: yoga but i i do agree that hot yogurt sounds unpleasant um but why are we getting rid of this studio and why are we doing anything right now why who are these guys and why are they moving

Rufus T. Rufus: now i pig i was under the assumption that the dog uh the poodle dog was gonna be uh occupying natty's time during this transition what what happened with that exactly uh i don't

Aloysious J. Pig: know the last i heard that they were they was going out to uh to make some doodles and as they as the dog doodle poodle does and now but he's here so i can't i've been trying to text doodle poodle on the phone and i have not been able to get through to him so okay so this makes a little

Natty Bumpercar: bit more sense now because doodle poodle came to my room this morning and he was like oh my god i'm he said that we had to go on a doodling adventure he said and made me pack my bag and he said we're gonna be out all day and i was like well this is strange like i i hang out with doodle poodle every so often but this seemed like he was he had a a real strange intensity about him yeah and i um i was wondering what was going on and now i'm back and wondering even more what's going on

Rufus T. Rufus: yeah well uh pig as soon as you get doodle poodle on the line just uh hold on for a second i gotta talk to him but listen uh natty we didn't want to have to do this to you in person but you uh have stopped doing the bumper podcast on a regular basis you understand and uh ipso facto in your uh uh eternium your uh agreement here your uh law abiding uh paperwork uh your uh contract yeah your contract exactly i was having a hard time he uh you we we if you don't occupy the space of the studio at least three weeks out of the month that's three episodes per month no uh for more than two months then we uh we have to sell everything and shut it down as are you

Natty Bumpercar: serious like we're in the middle of a pandemic there's a lot going on the week we're their kids are home we're trying to work we're trying to be teachers i'm trying to be you know the my we haven't taken the dog to the therapist lately so i'm trying to help her out with all of her issues do she can't be home alone by herself did you know this she she gets anxiety she gets very worried separation anxiety that's what it's called and that's what i've been dealing with and the dog every time i leave the room i hear this not even a bark she says murph my name isn't murph what does murph mean murph murph i don't know i never heard the dog say murph before it's very strange this is popcorn right yes this is popcorn and it just i'm sorry that i haven't put out episodes as as normally as i usually do lately but it's just so much on my plate and it's i'm overwhelmed i'm not i'm not even well

Rufus T. Rufus: well well well well well well well well well well well yeah yeah classic episode that was classic bumper podcast right there

Natty Bumpercar: thanks and it's i'm i'm just i can you guys stop moving stuff please thank you so here's the other thing is we got picked up by a podcast network so we're gonna be on on nonproductive.com which is super cool and I talked to Frank over there and he wants to start putting the episodes out over there and that's awesome because you know that's a cool thing more people are going to listen to this I guess that's their problem not mine

Rufus T. Rufus: now that is a good point pig it sounds like that's a them kind of problem but now I have a me kind of problem you're falling into agreements with other people without any sort of contract is there anything I need to read maybe anything I need to sign I could endorse it with my signature I could you know put a stamp on it maybe a seal something like that

Natty Bumpercar: no I talked to Frank again he was very nice and I gave them I mean this is getting into the weeds but the RSS feed which is how people find the podcast and then he's going to put it on the network and then we have a little bumper at the end of the episode

Aloysious J. Pig: oh like the bumper podcast so it's just another bumper for the bumper podcast it's a bumper podcast bumper as you will

Natty Bumpercar: yes exactly and uh good point and uh

Aloysious J. Pig: oh it's doodle poodle I'm going to put him on speaker one second

Doodle Poodle: it's me doodle poodle I don't know I don't know where natty went we were out on the field and we were going to make some doodles

Rufus T. Rufus: he's here doodle poodle he's here

Doodle Poodle: oh he's back there huh I'm really sorry

Rufus T. Rufus: well you had one job doodle poodle you had one one job which was to keep natty bumper car occupied and you didn't do it necessarily and so he came back here and he found out what we're doing here in the studio which means no hot yogurt for you my doggy friend

Natty Bumpercar: I'm pretty sure that we decided that it was hot yoga yoga not yogurt because again the idea of hot yogurt it doesn't appeal to me I like cold yogurt cold I do

Aloysious J. Pig: so hey speaking of yogurt bumper car how's that yumya treating you have you been mass producing and mass manufacturing yumya over at see the bean

Doodle Poodle: oh yeah natty I forgot about yumya I was supposed to help you to make a logo right we're gonna doodle a logo for yumya yumya yumya

Natty Bumpercar: I know it's fun to say guys doodle poodle don't worry about it we already figured out kind of a logo type of thing but thank you for your help and also doodle poodle I'm so sad that you were involved with pig and rufus like I expect this from rufus I kind of have started to expect this from pig as well but from you why are you part of this plan

Doodle Poodle: they promised me that I could have some hot yogurt no it's yoga any kind of yogurt

Natty Bumpercar: it's yoga we established that yeah it's yogurt

Doodle Poodle: I don't like to do yoga it hurts my is it yoga

Rufus T. Rufus: or yogurt

Aloysious J. Pig: this is so confusing

Rufus T. Rufus: this is all very confusing but I gotta say gentlemen you can keep up with work because we are paying you by the hour so just go ahead and take all the shelves over there those chairs will stack on each other for easiest storage and movability

Natty Bumpercar: so we're not stacking everybody stop you guys can go home we have to pay you okay just hold on a second I will come pay you I'll write you a check and listen we're not moving anything we're not closing down the studio there's not going to be any hot yoga certainly no hot yoga hot yogurt because again we are on nonproductive.com and they're going to have our podcast and it's very exciting and we're going to be recording more often and you know it's going to be great so this is the bumper podcast I am Natty Bumpercar you were hearing Rufus T. Rufus who is the lawyer around here you were hearing Aloysius J. Pig who is I guess the pig around here you were hearing Doodle Poodle the poodle who doodles because we're so literal and there's all kinds of other characters who are going to come around but we can't wait for you guys to get involved in all the shenanigans here at Coffee Can Alley we do make yum-yum it's kind of a yogurt-y treat it's pretty delicious we have this podcast every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Aloysius J. Pig there he and his pals they have a show called Hanging Out with Pig and Pals we're real busy we're working on illustrating a book for a friend of mine there's a lot of shenanigans going on over here I know that's the second time that I've said it I may say it a third time I won't, don't worry but here's the thing we're excited to be back we've missed you and um

Rufus T. Rufus: now here I have this paper over here that I need you to look at and read just to make sure that we are in agreement that you understand that 50% occupancy or else this room this studio as it were will be returned to its original state which is of course the yogurt shop no it's yoga

Aloysious J. Pig: yoga

Doodle Poodle: that sounds like toga toga like we're gonna have a big party or something I love parties parties are the most fun thing in the whole wide world

Natty Bumpercar: I I love parties and fine Rufus I'll read over this contract again but we're fine we're gonna we're gonna keep pumping out episodes this is episode 381 do you understand how amazing that is this podcast has been around longer than the children longer than the dog yep okay this is

Rufus T. Rufus: it's got legs that's true I hope it it's got legs knows how to it's a song yeah

Aloysious J. Pig: that was really good that was really close to copyright infringement for a lawyer I gotta say and it sounds please don't ever sing again Rufus that was painful

Natty Bumpercar: to my sweet little ears uh ooh speaking of sweet little ears I forgot hey um from pig and pals hey trunks get over here I wanna hear from you real quick

Trunks: yeah yeah everybody it's me trunks and I don't know if I'm supposed to do the weather report over here or what exactly but um it's nice to see you I can't wait to have some hot yogurt

Natty Bumpercar: alright everybody this has been the bumper podcast I am natty bumper car to everyone from nonproductive.com welcome aboard we're gonna have a lot of fun I almost promise I don't promise nothing but I do promise that uh you'll be hearing my voice more than ever so uh hugs and hugs and hearts take care of yourself goodbye

Producer: this has been a nonproductive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

Doodle Poodle: you you you you you you you you you

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July 10, 2020
Bumperpodcast #380 – Yumyah

Where in the world has Natty been? Well, he’s been inventifying – that’s where!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar returns after a long absence to share his exciting new invention: Yum-Yah, a yogurt-like treat with a fantastical origin story. He explains his creative recipe development process, combining multiple online recipes to create something unique. Natty shares the whimsical tale of two explorers who discovered Yum-Yah from the ghost of a ghost in the hills beyond the abyss, and announces plans for various flavors including lemon curd, key lime, cranberry, chai, and mango lassi. Between inventing Yum-Yah and doing heavy yard work around his raised garden beds, Natty has been keeping busy in Coffee Can Alley, though he promises to return to regular podcast episodes soon.

Memorable Quotes

“Deep in the hills beyond the abyss lives the ghost of a ghost who has granted one wish when two grumbly explorers got lost in the bla that ghost blessed their bellies with the taste of yum yeah”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I like to find recipes online and I'll usually get five or six sometimes eight or ten of the same recipes and then what I do is I look through the list I find all the common ingredients”
— Natty Bumpercar

“So far I've put down 1,200 pounds of rocks. That's more than half a ton. Hot hot sun. But you know what I did when I was done? I came in and I had a delicious taste of yum-yah.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #food #invention #creativity #recipedevelopment #yogurt #gardening #storytelling

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: what i listen i know i've been gone for a long time i got a good i got a good reason it's not even an excuse i promise i've been i've been out in the wilds of the world looking and hunting and and i invented something i didn't really invent it but i kind of hell i would with help i was able to discover something and and i think i'm ready to share it with you i know i've been gone for a long time i can't believe i just looked and i saw the last episode that i that i that i put up was about the glasses remember the glasses it was so long ago i still don't have glasses i've been back to that store twice i have like a relationship with them now i i walk in and they're like hey no glasses and i'm like cool i was here for a plunger you know it's so it's but it's good because we're friends now we can all just laugh and laugh and laugh at how uh how i can't see but we're past the glasses we've moved so far past the glasses we're into a whole another world now where i'm inventing stuff and i and i'm following through on it a lot of times my brain just kind of makes stuff up and i'm like yes that's it and then i forget about it but then mostly because i've been prompted and prodded and forced by other people um is is is that i i've kept at it and and a lot of times left to my own uh you know whims and desires i just kind of uh big idea move along big idea move along i mean the fact that i've recorded 300 this is number of these podcasts is astonishing to me that means i must really enjoy doing it that might i must really enjoy you and you know what i do and i miss you when i don't do it i i get i start to get guilt and then i and then uh i start to get like oh what have i done what if what if i just never do it again that'd be sad would you be sad i would anyway so here's what we invented it's called yummie what's yum yeah all right well here's a fun story that i wrote to see if you can follow along i tend to say it pretty quickly but i'm gonna i'm gonna try to slow it down for your uh for your listening ears deep in the hills beyond the abyss lives the ghost of a ghost who has granted one wish when two grumbly explorers got lost in the bla that ghost blessed their bellies with the taste of yum yeah what's yum yeah you say well not to downplay but it's creamy and dreamy and not to sound unseemly but i highly recommend that you try some so trust the explorers who have decided to share this yogurty treat from the ghost from nowhere they've even swayed the heart of coffee can alley and now yum yeah is made near the brook by the jungle of the town beside marshmallow valley it is made with love so hold on to your wish because the ghost of the ghost invented yum yeah for bliss try yum yeah varieties as well as yum yeah flavors and enjoy this perfect eating blend that everybody savors yum yeah guys we've done it we've invented something delicious i mean you know we followed a recipe we tweaked a recipe so here's what i like to do uh is i like to find recipes online and i'll usually get five or six sometimes eight or ten of the same recipes right from different places and then what i do is i look through the list i find all the common ingredients right and so and i build uh a recipe out of common ingredients right those are your your base those are your backbone that's the structure the foundation that your recipe is built on right and then i start to look at all the other little things like oh this is a recipe that i've made and i'm like oh this is a recipe that i've made this person did this tweak that person did that tweak over there you know and then i start to like do a little experimenting and figuring out like all right well if they did this and this and this you know like maybe they wanted it to be a little bit more savory you know that means that means like kind of salty and so that's why they added this stuff or maybe they wanted it to be a little bit sweeter and so they added some honey or whatever right and so that's why they added this and um so then i determine what i how do i want it to taste this is going to be my recipe and so then i i start to figure out i'm going to get rid of this i'm going to hold this to the side oh this thing actually plays well off of that ingredient so i'm going to keep it even in there even though you know on the surface you might think oh i don't know if that should be in there sometimes it should and you don't even know huh right right so according to the story there's the ghost of a ghost and he is only granted one wish the thing is we don't even know what that wish is does it even pertain to the two explorers i don't know i don't think it does i think there's a deeper story there about this ghost who's i mean and then how many wishes does he have left and i didn't even know that ghosts granted wishes is he the ghost of a genie like how there's a lot going on is what i'm saying and and and you know so did he invent yumya did he is he just guarding it is it is it something that's you know like it's hidden in the forest i don't know i think that that story is is just the beginning i think we're going to find out a lot more about about yumya but it basically it's it's it's kind of like yogurt it's creamy and it's dreamy right and these poor explorers they uh they they were lost and and you know i guess the ghost of a ghost saved their lives by filling their bellies with delicious yumya um it why why not just call it yogurt ah i'm fine i like yumya it sounds better and people were like oh well the heart of coffee can alley that's pretty bumper guard yes that's me i i i'm allowing them to uh to manufacture to create to make yumya here in coffee can alley um and and we can't wait we've got yummy flavors that we're gonna start figuring out too we're gonna do like a lemon curd do you know what that is oh it's good because the yogurt is kind of sweet and so i was thinking like i want some tart flavors to go against it just to counter it nice lemon curd ooh which could move over to a key lime what really yeah it could it could it absolutely could and then also we're thinking of doing like a like a cranberry you're like but that's only for thanksgiving no no my friends cranberry dressing is delicious like not out of a can no no all made fresh and then we're thinking of doing like a chai you know what chai is it's like a chai tea but a chai yogurt what and then we're even gonna make uh uh uh uh lassi like a mango lassi right which is a drink but we're not gonna have it be too liquidy it's just it's like mango and the yogurt and maybe some like some cardamom oh well very fancy and and we're gonna make some uh some granola and we have like cups coming little plastic cups and so the only thing that's holding us back is the the only thing that's holding me back at this point is i haven't made stickers or designed the packaging but my focus right now is on getting all this stuff made and done right and then then then i can do the packaging um but that's where i've been i haven't fallen off the face of the earth uh we're still doing the pig and pal show we got a show coming up today very exciting um celebrating birthdays left and right and then we're I haven't been doing a lot of comedy shows. Do I miss it? No, actually, I don't. It's kind of weird. I thought I would. I used to, but then I've just been so busy. And busy doing what? Well, inventing Yum-Yah, for one. Thank you for asking. Oh, what's that? You're asking me, is there a Twitter account? Is there a Facebook page? Is there an Instagram? Relax. We're working on all that stuff. There's a lot, okay? Just settle down. And what I've been doing? Oh, I've been working in the yard. And we're putting a path around our raised beds. Our raised beds where we have squash and cucumber and corn and pumpkins and cilantro and lettuce. Like, so much stuff is growing this year. Tomatoes. Okra. It's all there. I think. I don't know. That's what I've been told. To me, I look at it and I see a lot of plants. But I've been told, I've been guaranteed that these are edible plants. So I'm going to take their word. But so what I did is I cleared off all the grass and dirt around the beds. And then I put down this tarpy stuff. And then I've started putting down rocks. So far, I've put down 1,200 pounds of rocks. Because each bag is 50 pounds. 1,000. That's more than half a ton. Hot, hot sun. But you know what I did when I was done? I came in and I had a delicious taste. Of yum-yah. Ah! Look at me. Ok. I hope you're doing well. I missed you desperately. Next week, we're going to get back to normal episodes. Or maybe even this week. Maybe I'll do 15 or 20 bonus episodes. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows?

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June 24, 2020
Bumperpodcast #379 – Glasses

Natty loses his glasses and falls into a desperate hunt to find them. Was he successful? Listen to find out! The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this hilarious and relatable episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts his increasingly frustrating quest to find his lost glasses at a home improvement store. After getting glasses for the first time in his life, Natty loses them during a trip to buy pool chemicals. What follows is an epic saga involving multiple store visits, unhelpful employees, mysterious lost-and-found drawers scattered throughout the store, and enough exasperation to make any listener both laugh and sympathize. Natty transforms this mundane frustration into comedy gold while delivering a heartfelt message about the importance of helping others and showing empathy in customer service situations.

Memorable Quotes

“I felt like I was on Jupiter and I was like 'hi I lost my globdorps' and they're like 'no we don't have any globdorps' as we're holding a box of globdorps.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“It's a big mean scary world that I can't see anymore because I don't have glasses and we're all in this together right?”
— Natty Bumpercar

“Here's the thing people, if you ever come upon someone who needs you to help them, help them. Helping is good.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #customerservice #lostandfound #glasses #frustration #retailexperiences #empathy #everydayadventures

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: what's going on bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and yeah i know i'm not recording on as perfect of a schedule as i would like as maybe you would like but there's a lot going on and i apologize and i do miss you whenever i don't record the bumper podcast has always been and probably always will be one of it's my favorite podcast that i do so today though today i'm gonna try to tell you a story and i'm gonna try to sound not um completely banu uh or loop-de-loop i'm gonna complete like here's the thing i lost my glasses i got glasses this year for the first time in my life and it was a big process for me it was a stuff uh we had a background backyard pool above ground that i i have found and got so that the kids can play in that this summer and um because we're pretty you know we're pretty locked in we're here at home and so i'm trying to find activities here at home that we can do and so i found a pool got a pool great but then you have to get chemicals for the pool to make it clean right and so i went to a store to get those uh chemicals and i wore my glasses i left the house uh i had my glasses on i had uh my mask on and i went to the store and uh when i got to the store i went in i got all of my stuff i got home i took my mask off no glasses i have no recollection of i've talked my face of taking my glasses off I don't know why I would have but the glasses are gone just gone disappeared this is a store that I'd never been to before either this specific store and so immediately I call the store and I say hey I lost my glasses there can you look around and it this was probably a 30-minute phone call of waiting on hold being transferred around the store and people basically like nope we're no no glasses but I don't know about you but have you ever lost anything and it's really frustrating cuz you're like I don't feel like you even looked I'm pretty sure you just put me on hold on the phone and then waited a couple minutes and came back just to say no that's the sense I would say I was getting now I had a couple of meetings to do I had a couple of that I took a shower a couple of things to do and then I went back out to the store it's about a 25-minute drive and I got there and I was able to park near the same parking place that I was in before and I was laying on the ground and I was looking in the parking lot and just kind of you know really retracing my steps I was looking in the parking lot and I was looking in the parking lot and just kind of you know really retracing my steps I was to step over a box and then i remember a guy coming at me with his uh shopping cart and so i had to uh hop around a box and like it was i just remembered and i was like i remember looking at that thing i remember you know like moving that so i went through every process i went down this aisle i had to back away when some people were coming like i just really remembered and i went to all the desks and i said uh i went to the first two it's called the pro desk and they said uh nope no glasses here i said okay cool go to the customer service so i went to customer service waited in their line they had three pairs of glasses none were mine that's fine um and then i went to the cashier station where i was before the cashier who had checked me out was not there but another nice woman was there and she looked no glasses i said totally cool so I did one more walk around the store and then actually bumped into like saw the cashier who checked me out and i said i said it was really weird i was like you and she was like ah why are you youing me and i was like i'm so sorry i didn't mean to you you that aggressively but i i was here a while ago and she's like oh yeah i remember and i was like i i left my glasses did you find any glasses and she's like oh i i did find some glasses and i was like oh this is the greatest we walked over to the cashier and i was like oh yeah i remember and i was like oh i i did find some so thus and she pulled some glasses out of a drawer and uh i was like that's them but then uh because i can't see and then i was like oh wait that's actually not them at all and so i no glasses found all right i was i was upset i was depressed i don't like losing things these glasses were expensive i don't have insurance for these glasses and so it was it was a bitter pill to swallow but i got over it went home sulked a little bit which is fine and i was like oh my god it's fine and uh i'm going home okay and she pulled some glasses out of a drawer and i was like um whatever we moved on now i waited a couple of days uh and i called no glasses okay thank you and then i went back and i said one more time i have to go back and then i can cross this off my list so i and i don't know i'm weird with the universe in that i feel like sometimes i have to go through so jump through so many hoops and i just go ahead and i do it and then it's almost like a video game where it's like hey you have to go find this loaf of bread oh did you find the ball for the bird and like all this weird stuff and i just go ahead and do it and i accept it and i don't really get that frustrated and then usually in the end you know like i'll find the thing i'm looking for not all the time but so i'm fine with going through the process of having to look for the thing it's my responsibility i lost the glasses i understand so i drive back out there did the same thing walked my path found my parking place laid on the ground again went along like the curb because sometimes parking lots will have these big machines that sweep everything and i'm like aha maybe it swept them against the curb no went to the front door there was a man in a uh not a wheelchair but like one of those automatic chairs and i he worked there and i said excuse me do you have like a lost and found uh nope and i was like oh and he's like i mean i have a lost and found and i was like oh that's just that's what i just asked you so cool do you do you have i lost some glasses here well i don't have any glasses okay dismissive like immediately dismissive right which is i'm just like okay thank you move on right i'm just like okay thank you move on and i'm like oh my god i'm there's my first hurdle i got past it went to the spot uh the register where i was asked there was a woman there who remembered me she's like i am so sorry we looked everywhere i didn't find any glasses thank you so much i really do appreciate you spending time and having some empathy for me i appreciate that i walked my path went to all the same places i went before now this is where it starts to get interesting i say wait in line to go to the uh to the the customer service i get there and i see the woman who had helped me before and i said and so i get there and as i'm going up she actually has to go help a customer okay so another woman calls me up i'm like hi i lost my glasses here on thursday and well we don't have any glasses i was like but can i just can i finish like why why are we why are you cutting me off okay and i was just like well the other woman who was kind of said can you just look through the drawers behind the desk where you're standing she's like no we don't have any glasses and i was like cool and she said and we're not allowed to go through the drawers they're the what and i was like okay what the the drawers are the drawers that you're standing at and the woman who was just here she went through the drawers on thursday and she pulled out three pairs of glasses so i think you have glasses oh you need to go talk to uh fernandez he's a he's at the front door i was like i talked to him he didn't have any glasses he's like well then there's no glasses i was like but there's there are but wait there but you huh just can you please i drove all the way out here can you please just look through the drawers no you're gonna have to talk to uh sheila sheila was the one who i talked to before who had gone to help a customer okay fine thank you i will wait and i was getting a little bit exasperated a little bit frustrated and uh the woman behind me in line went like that and i was just like you don't even know what i'm going through right now you don't even what are you hugging me they shoot here's the thing if i lose something in a store i do not think i'm asking very much for you to open the drawer that you're standing in front of just pull it open and look to see if there are any glasses she refused and so fine i waited for sheila sheila came back rolled her eyes at me which is fine also i get it i'm not going to probably annoying you but i want my glasses uh hi i was here the other day i remember you thank you i was wondering if you found any more glasses there's no glasses well can you just look in the drawer did you go to the guy at the fernandez at the front desk yeah i did but he said there was no glasses and sent me over here she's like fine so she opens the drawer and she starts to dig through it she's like there's no there's no glasses there's no glasses i was like well thanks for looking through the drawer and then she pulled out five pairs of glasses as she's saying well there's no glasses she's holding in her hand five pairs of glasses and i was stunned and i was like but you're holding there's glasses that you're holding that you are lost in what and then she's like well are these yours and i said no i don't think any of those are mine and she's like well yeah exactly i'm like but you don't know what my glasses are so why would you just say no there's no glasses when there's clearly glasses thank you very much i said have a nice day i walk off i went over to near where i was before um when i walked past there's a paint section i stopped at the paint section just offhand because i remember i had asked for directions i i had stopped at the paint section and said hey do you know where this is and they were like it's over there and i said excuse me off chance do you guys have a lost and found over here and he said no that would be uh at the pro desk not the customer service desk but the pro desk i said okay okay why would you lose i lost some glasses oh yeah well we have some glasses here why didn't you just that's lost and found that's considered something that someone has lost and that you have found and you're holding here and he went and he got this box and he pulled out two pairs of glasses again neither were mine but do you know how frustrating it is when you're wandering around the store for the second time hunting for your glasses and you've called twice and everybody has a different story i felt like i was in the twilight zone i felt like i was in some world where i it was there was a length i don't know what was happening where i i felt like i was on another planet like i felt like there was a language difference but not just like if i went to uh europe or something and there'd be a little bit of like you know i could just point at my foot but it was just like i was like on jupiter and i was like hi i lost my globdorps and they're like no we don't have any globdorps as we're holding a box of globdorps fine thank you sir at the paint section have a great day so then i went over to uh the nuts and bolts aisle right and i was looking around there because i remember being over there and these two guys were like well can i help you sir and i was like yeah i'm so sorry i'm just i'm looking i lost some glasses here you guys don't have any glasses at this this desk here do you no lost and found is over in customer service and at that point i was i was really done i was over and i kind of snapped and i was like funny thing they don't have any glasses over there but everybody seems to have their own lost and found throughout the whole store it's like everybody's their own lost and found and they got angry and they just shrugged and walked away and i was like okay i've i've officially lost it i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done so then i went back to the pro desk and i asked them again this is i hadn't asked them on this trip and there was a woman there she's like no that'd be customer service and i said funny story customer service says they didn't have any then they did have several and then i went to paint and they had some and then they had some other ones at this register over here and she's like what do you want me to do and i was like can you please just open the drawer that's in front of you like why won't people just look why won't you just look for my glasses and she uh she looked oh she opened it i don't see any glasses but maybe they're uh maybe they're back in the back office lost and found and i was like wait there's a secret lost and found now that i'm finding out about what do i what i don't can you check that no i well it's in the back well can you call them and ask them please and she called and the person wasn't there and then uh a cart comes in with a guy steering the cart and she said oh there he is and she goes over to him and so i know the drill at this point and i walk over near and it's the guy who was originally at the front door who was sitting in the automated cart um and i said and i heard her like just so again dismissively i don't know this guy pro desk glasses and i was standing there and it was clearly she didn't actually know that i was standing behind her and he was just like already told that guy no glasses and then i kind of very tamely but i started just yelling i was just like why why won't you people just help me i was like you said you don't have glasses and you said you don't have glasses and i was like why won't you people just help me and i was like you said you don't have glasses and then i went over you said there's no glasses in the store i went to the customer service found three pairs of glasses i went to the paint department found two pairs of glass i found glasses everywhere in the store and then he looked at me and he said but were they your glasses and i was like no but that's not the point that doesn't matter what matters is that you guys just seem completely incapable of helping it's just here's the thing people bumper pod casketeers i you know i i love you guys to death you're my you're the best and i would hope beyond hope that if you ever in your life come upon someone who needs you to help them someone who it would take nothing out of you your day to put a little bit of effort in and again to empathize that's to have to understand that they're going through something understand that they're having some emotions help them helping is good i came home and i was talking to my wife and i said i don't understand if i was working at a retail job which i have many times in my life and somebody came in desperate i'm i lost something can you help me find it you know what i'm gonna do drop everything and that's gonna be what i'm going to do because it's a lot more fun to go on the glasses hunt adventure than it is to just whatever right and it's like all right let's uh let's see here i'm in this store so let me think bob bob usually has stuff that he carries around that he finds maybe it's uh tracy you know we're gonna go talk to tracy you know like i would help i wouldn't i wouldn't roll my eyes i wouldn't i wouldn't just you know it's it's like if someone's lost and they come up to you and they're like hi i don't know which way i'm supposed to go and you go welp and walk away it doesn't it doesn't take anything for you to help them just help people it's a big mean scary world that i can't see anymore because i don't have glasses and and just we're all in this together right right i hope you're well bumper pod casketeers i miss you i'll talk to you soon don't forget if you are ever bored 12 o'clock roughly 12 o'clock every day monday through friday um pig and his pals do a show and it's on it's on facebook it's on youtube it's on periscope which is twitter go watch it it's a blast it's like 25 minutes it's my favorite time of the day and i hope it's uh i hope it's your favorite time of the day too in the meantime can you just look in your drawer real quick while you're listening to this just and see if do you have my glasses please

Unknown: thank you

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May 26, 2020
Bumperpodcast #378 – Overwhelmed

Natty is completely overwhelmed – and is trying to figure out how to become more whelmed – while avoiding being underwhelmed. It’s a lot to take in – but, he’ll try his hardest!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after a hiatus to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world. In this introspective episode, Natty explores the etymology of 'overwhelmed,' 'underwhelmed,' and 'whelmed,' wondering why we can't just be normally whelmed. He shares candid stories about quarantine life, homeschooling his kids, dealing with a toy-destroying dog, and the challenges of performing comedy over Zoom. Natty reflects on the strange nature of time during quarantine, unfinished projects piling up, and finding silver linings in spending more family time together, even when grocery bills seem impossibly high.

Memorable Quotes

“I looked at myself in the mirror and I said today is not the day that I'm gonna break… and as I left the room I heard the mirror whisper 'or is it' and I was like whoa hey mirror I thought you had my back”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I'm hoping that this podcast is leaving you considerably whelmed. Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed. I want to whelm you.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #quarantinelife #overwhelmed #parenting #homeschooling #comedy #zoom #time #family

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast what's been what are you doing who what are you where you been at where you been hiding from me or i've been missing you uh i know you're thinking over there whoa whoa don't don't point fingers at us we're the listeners we're the bumper podcast geteers where have you been natty natty bumper car who's supposed to be recording this on a weekly basis and hasn't for a while i don't know i try i even i here's the thing i have been overwhelmed uh can just considerably overwhelmed with uh the state of the world and uh i just i i haven't been able to get to it and then i started to think what does overwhelmed even mean like and then i started researching it and it was pretty cool because i feel like i'm constantly overwhelmed uh and then i was just like have i ever just been whelmed i would like to just at some point in my life instead of being overwhelmed just be whelmed just be uh just a baseline whelmed uh there's there's also you know sometimes i'm underwhelmed but uh currently overwhelmed so i'd like to find a nice a nice middle ground um and so what i started to do is i started to think about what does overwhelmed a thing well overwhelmed um it it just means to to bury or drown beneath a huge mass it's like a whoa that sounds intense you were overwhelmed right and uh so which is how i feel like it's it's cool because i think it used to be more of a uh almost like a nautical term where like a ship would be overwhelmed by the waves right and uh they it eventually kind of started to mean that uh you know you're it's you're just anything that can is taking you down is beating you down you you could become overwhelmed so in this scenario i'm the ship i'm the ship out on a sea on a very stormy sea and the waves are crashing over me they're overwhelming me they're threatening to take me the ship out of my ship down but no no no my friends they will not take they will not take me down no sir i um i did i woke up the other morning and i looked in the mirror and i was trying to give myself a pep talk and uh i i looked at the mirror and i looked at myself in the mirror and i said today is not the day that i'm gonna break and uh and i felt good about myself a little know you gotta build yourself up sometimes and as i as i left the room with a mirror in it i heard the mirror whisper you know or is it and i was like whoa hey mirror i thought you had my back and it's just like i have your reflection not your back and i was like ah good point good point um anyway so uh underwhelmed is another thing right are you overwhelmed are you underwhelmed underwhelmed isn't even a phrase it doesn't make any sense because uh if overwhelmed is talking about the waves crashing over the the the bow of the ship threatening to to pull it under you know one's ever going to be like ah the ocean is very calm today the boat is calm very underwhelmed now of course you might know what it's like ah we went to see that new movie i was super excited about it i didn't live up to my standards i was pretty underwhelmed so wait you're saying that the waves just were uh very calm at your at your ship i don't know and then and then whelmed i really feel like we should bring it back or i don't even know if it was ever there i'm hoping that this podcast is leaving you considerably whelmed not i don't want to be overwhelmed i don't want to be too much for you because there's too much else going on and i certainly don't want to you know uh be aiming too low i don't want to underwhelm you no i want to overwhelm you i want if you ever if somebody's like oh you listen to the bumper podcast yeah i do are you a bumper podcast couture i suppose i am how do you feel about that in one word can you describe to me uh the bumper podcast one word and you can just look at them straight in the eye and you can say whelmed it's gonna that's probably gonna go on our business card we're we're gonna hire a skywriter to you uh you know just write uh to an advertisement in the sky so people can know to tune in and they'll say it'll just say whelmed and we'll forget to uh actually put the bumper podcast or anything that ties it to us but eventually enough people are gonna know that when they hear the word whelmed boom they're talking about they should be thinking about the bumper podcast in my opinion the dog just joined me i have to tell you she's been completely underwhelmed today by the amount of attention and love that she's received and um what she's done to make up for that lack of love and attention is to destroy toys not my toys because i keep them in the high ground all right and she will not overwhelm my defenses to get to these toys the children however leave their toys scattered around the house everywhere that the dog can reach them and i uh a lot of times i'll wake up to shrieking ah yee ah oh which is a completely overwhelming way to start your day and i burst down the stairs and i say what's going on down here the dog ate our toy ah did she overwhelm your defenses no the toy was on the ground i'm like you can't leave the toy you can't leave the toys on the ground your toys look like her dog toys so she's going to eat them but they don't listen because why would they i don't know nothing i'm just their dad dad's that's a fun thing with kids is they're like ah dad you don't know nothing you don't know my my worries you don't know nothing about me my life i'm like buddy i helped make you like what are you talking about i know i've been here every day i know i know a little bit about you but i don't know anything about you about you uh but no no no no no dad you don't you come you're completely underwhelming me as a parent i'm like all right that's we don't have to keep using the over under and the whelmed during the episode um i was trying to figure out when the last time that i sent out an episode was and then i realized i don't even know what today is i've completely given up on time we did an episode of a while ago uh about time being linear and time folding in on itself and how strange time can be and then we got into nostalgia and stuff and the thing is is i don't it's i wake up every day and i don't i'm just like like we had to do the kids homework this morning and they were like what's today what assignment do i do and i was just like oof i had to look at my calendar i was just like it's uh well obviously it's tuesday and then i'm like how is it tuesday that's weird i mean yesterday was monday huh all right sure but i don't really believe i mean it's just like there's nothing uh solid concrete about the days that that are keeping me and my brain kind of in line with what day it is um which is a struggle when all this quarantine started i was i was very i was cleaning all the time and i was making lists of stuff to do and then i think just the more and more stuff that i was doing i have all these projects and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna have to do this project and i would start a project and then i would realize i don't have all the pieces to finish the project and i can't go to the store and so that's on the list and the more unfinished projects that i would get the more overwhelmed i would get right and and so then i would my list would just keep growing longer and then you know you wake up every day and you're just like okay we got to get the kids food we got to get their school stuff ready we got to talk to the teachers we got to talk to the school we got to talk to we got it we got to talk to the teachers we got to work we got to do the bumper podcast we got to do the uh hanging out with pig and pal show every day which is still happening gotta take the dog for a walk oh man we got to start the car every so often this is we it's just very strange but i have to say and i was talking to someone yesterday a medical professional if you will and what we were talking about was uh and i think i mentioned this before silver lining uh it's great to be able to hang out with my family i love it love it to pieces i make jokes about it about not wanting to hang out with a family but i i actually love it to pieces and um you know it's it's it's nice to be able to be the kid's teacher and to realize that i was completely correct and not going into uh being a teacher like for a job i should not have ever done that i'm glad i did not ever do that it's completely over the top i'm glad i did not ever do that i'm glad i did not see everything's overwhelming you go to the grocery store you're overwhelmed you walk into the cleaning supplies aisle you're underwhelmed you go to the front to pay and you're like how much food are we eating how can how is it possibly this much money every single time what are we what are we doing are we i mean all we're doing is eating is what's happening that's the only way that we've been able to get our brain levels our serotonin levels to uh to be at a nice even keel uh so that we're not overwhelmed and we're not underwhelmed is we just keep eating we might want to make sure that our stomach is completely whelmed i love it um anyway how are you doing are you hanging in there you you doing okay yeah i've been doing zoom comedy shows zoom comedy shows and um actually i have a a meeting with zoom uh at some point they haven't sent me the invitation yet but they said they are because we're gonna want to try to figure out the platform to see how i can make make zoom comedy shows even better because right now it's just uh you know you're just one random person just on video talking to nobody and then uh you know somebody will type in the chat lol and you're like ah that doesn't have the same effect on me and i'm like oh my god i'm on a comedian who's telling jokes uh as actually hearing someone laugh seeing someone type lol no it doesn't it doesn't do it for you you're like oh i guess that one that was a big one i got i got one lol oh wait look i got a uh a sideways laughing partially crying emoji ah i'm tearing it up tonight this is living the dream so i'm trying to see if there's a way to make that better um we do a weekly uh open mic and my friend's coffee joint it's a cedar beans coffee joint in cedar grove new jersey we got that figured out it's a blast it's really fun we're really uh trying to take charge of all this and and and and and fit into the new world right

Unknown: okay see you guys later so you you you you you you

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May 12, 2020