Tag: pets

  • Bumperpodcast #336 – Irving Brown Socks

    Bumperpodcast #336 – Irving Brown Socks

    Today we finally get to talk to one of our pals who hasn’t ever really been on the show, Irving Brown Socks. We get to hear his whole story and choke up a bit towards the end. Hug people in your lives, and hug your animals (unless they are fish). It’ll make your day that much better. Thanks for listening.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In a deeply personal and touching episode, Natty Bumpercar breaks format by recording outside Bumperpodcast headquarters to introduce listeners to his beloved dog, Irving Brown Socks. Natty shares the 15-year journey of his black lab/border collie mix, from their first meeting at a pet adoption event in Georgia to their life together through multiple moves and the growth of Natty's family. The episode chronicles Sox's quirks, adventures, and the special bond between dog and family, while Natty grapples with his aging companion's declining health. This heartfelt departure from the usual comedy format offers a touching reflection on pet ownership, loss, and cherishing the time we have with those we love.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I do think it's kind of true where they choose you like i choose uh you pikachu like we're their pokemon essentially”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Be thankful for the time you have with stuff, with things, with people, whatever… Time doesn't come back.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We took him from a not great life. We gave him a great life. And that's all I could have done. That's all he wanted in the world.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #dogs #pets #family #loss #friendship #memories #lifelessons

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and this is this is a first this is a first for two different reasons the first first is that i'm recording this from outside the uh of headquarters outside we left the lab we took all the equipment we are outside uh so you might get to hear some nice environmental noises maybe a bird's gonna fly by i don't know maybe like uh maybe i'm gonna run and scream if a dragonfly tries to attack me these these are things that could happen uh and you're wondering well why are you outside it's that seems like a strange thing to do after 320 episodes well i'm outside because i wanted to be out here with my pal who really hasn't been on the show very much has never been interviewed that i can remember he is shaking his head no uh so i'd like to welcome to the show my friend mr irving brown socks hi buddy how are you oh those were such sweet little things blinks you just gave me now i'm gonna tell the story of irving and i will kind of relay his reaction to it because he did not want to get on mike he's uh embarrassed about his voice he's he feels like it's it's not podcast worthy and i said well clearly you've never been listening to the bumper podcast because anyone and anything hops on the mics on this show and he just said that's not for and i said okay i'm not gonna pressure you but i figured we would hang out kind of talk it out is that okay oh he's looking past me i see what's happening um so and if it's windy i apologize we do have wind screens on um irving brown socks it was born in i think atlanta georgia probably maybe decatur georgia or just a regular old downtown atlanta and um had a rough life he we adopted him uh and he uh we went to there was there was a grocery store and a target and a pet smart all right in a row whoosh and so we would go to this this shopping center on the weekends and they would have animals outside that you could go and meet and you know and hang out with all these animals take them home and we had two cats at the time and so we were like ah no more animals we got plenty of animals it was spot elliot and peanut loo i think i've told you about them before but you know who knows and uh one day we're walking and we look at this dog and he's a black lab and he's he's like all looking at us and his old tail's all wagging his butt's all moving around just just wagging his tail and uh we're like oh let's take that guy we'll take him for a walk it would give you leashes and they would let you walk him around the perimeter of the parking lot and uh you know it was we went for a walk and he's like looking back at us he's like hey guys it's me and you know whatever you're like all right cool and we took him back we were like thanks so much for letting us walk him you know we hope we had a nice time and uh that was it and then like a week or two later uh we ended up back at the shopping center and kind of went walked back by weren't even going to really look at the animals and there was this little border collie black lab same dude staring at us and like he was laying down and then when we walked by he he hopped up and he was like you i remember you remember me i remember you like it was like this real adorable connection and we had to go into a different store and i like and so it became this thing of like ah i feel like you know whatever they say this with animals but i do think it's kind of true where they choose you like i choose uh you pikachu like we're their pokemon essentially and um so that's how it all started and we took him home and he had gotten into a fight at the foster home that he was at and they the one of the dogs had had bitten his ear and actually had a little little cut a little rip in his ear and he was like oh my god really horrifying and uh so with ears dog ears there's not a lot of blood flow going through there so they it won't heal as quickly um because it can't scab up because of the properties of i don't know scabs i don't know how stuff works this isn't a medical show but he he came to our house and we kept we tried to put little band-aids on it little uh neosporin or whatever and it would never heal and he uh did something and reopened the the scrape and he started shaking his head just everywhere and this is in a our new house that we had bought in in in georgia this is a long time ago and he was just spraying spraying doggy blood everywhere it was horrifying and we were like we can't keep this this dog is crazy he was like you know doing normal dog stuff like eating stuff breaking stuff uh going to the bathroom in the house like it was it was a real real treat uh but we're like nope we got this dog he's he's our dog and we're gonna roll with it so uh eventually uh the the ear healed and he's fine he's running around the backyard having a great time he would escape every so often and it was kind of terrifying we had to go find him where'd he go and uh he's really fast and uh he had a dog next door his best friend was named chocolate and uh chocolate did not have the best of lives but he was he was a sweet dog he was kind of like a a pit bull lab mix and uh he would just kind of they just he kept they kept him outside all the time all the time and uh so i would have to sneak over and try to give chocolate some love but you know socks grew up with chocolate so it was kind of a a sad dog story but we still talk about him sometimes hey remember that chocolate and socks is he's looking at me right now he remembers uh so 15 years you know we we move uh from georgia we he moves into uh my in-law's house up in in in georgia and uh he's in in new york uh hudson valley and uh which he was so he was an inner city dog at that point kind of and we would go for big walks around the city and uh he he's very pulley when he would walk and we tried to train him we took him to doggy training classes and um then we went where did we go from there we went to uh we moved down to jersey to a little apartment in montclair and so he lived in there and it was it was that was his that was his best life i feel like uh because a school field right next to us where it was fenced in and so he could go and he would just just take off just sprint around this field like he was lightning lightning and um so he would go over there every day because it was right next door and um by the way we're gonna talk about this in another episode do you say next door next door n-e-x-t-d-o-o-r next door or next door like we're going to the next door i think it's next door but it sounds like next door anyway that's something that was bothering me last week so uh we we would go for walks and he would we he would he lived in this in this little two-bedroom apartment and um then we had uh emerson and uh you know emerson demands a lot of time and socks socks is very curious about this baby like what is what is this thing making all this noise right and uh he would go and he would look at it was sweet i don't i don't know if i have enough pictures of baby emerson with a teenage socks but um i wish i did um he didn't it was he was confused by snow because you know he's from georgia he's a georgia dog uh we moved around a couple times with the caldwell then we're now we're in uh cedar grove and i built him a i built him a nice fence which he immediately figured out how to get out of which is very sweet when you build a fence for someone just you know you see the fence see the boundaries finish the edges if you have to i never finish the edges so he's he's big on we have a family of deer who live here we have a fox we have a family of bunny rabbits and and he loves to uh interact with them that's what i'll say he loves to bark at him a lot um now he did have i'm giving you the story of my dog's life essentially it's what i'm doing here people um he's a wonderful dog you ever had a dog before dog or bad dog it was a good dog good bad dog i'm so sorry to hear that hey this this socks here he's a great dog he's a wonderful dog but he does he does do some bad things we uh we had a plumber come over once and uh here's the thing so he's a herding dog because of the border collie part so it seems to be his his move is people come in the house he might bark at him a little bit but it's not until they leave the house that he'll run up behind him and grab them all the way to the on their butt with his teeth uh which is not what you're supposed to do dog bad dog he uh he bit the plumber once yeah i bet a friend of mine once and uh and then one time i had a comedian a guy come over i was working on his website and socks is out on his he had a lead in the backyard so it's still there and um yeah he was i was like we'll take him off the lead and i was like no he's good over there i don't want him to he's weird with new people sometimes he's like ah he's fine great it's a bad idea he's like do it and i was like are you sure and i'm standing by socks he's like yeah do it and i unclick them and before the click is unclicked socks just takes off and uh knocked the guy over it was terrifying it was i was horrified um you know so he's very territorial which is you know he takes care of the house he must protect this house it's his house right he protects us and uh what was it a few years ago he got a weird condition on his nose it's so he's just he's this beautiful dog you know he's black he's got he's got white little socks he's got a little white belly a little white uh nose with a little starburst in his face a little bit a little white tip of the end of his tail and uh weighs about coming in weighs about 44 pounds irving brown socks um but he got this weird condition on his nose uh whereby it just kind of he kept rubbing it was like an ocd like a nervous thing where he would rub the edge of his nose off and uh we take him to the doctor they go hey try this cream all right that didn't work try this spray put this cone on his head but nothing was was taking right and um you know so but it wasn't causing him too much distress so we just kind of roll with it and he has as we call it he's got oh he's got the blood nose because look he it's really it's disgusting like he will rub his nose off and it's like you know what he's like oh we're gonna make it happen so why are we let's not please let's not do that that's not a good thing to do um what he does and we still love him love him to pieces smells ah you give the dog a bath and uh immediately like the the smells just linger it is still there he's like he's like pig pin from the peanuts but if he smelled he's he's smell pin i guess i don't know um but you know he he's he's a good old dog and then you know obviously in this weird thing where the kids didn't really latch on to the dog they knew there was a dog in the house was a concept of dog that's a dog uh but it wasn't until i'd say the last two years that they really were like hey you're our dog we love our dog and i was like yeah he's always been here he was here before you and they were like ah okay um and oliver super loves animals so he's it's what i'm saying is poor soxy he's not doing well and um so i'm not doing well i'm very sad about it and i realized that we'd never had a podcast together and i wanted to you know tell you guys about him i want to tell you his little story and so you could know so go rescue a dog right dogs are great if you if you have the means if you can take care of them they're they're fun to have around uh they it was it's all you know they all you got a dog what are you doing practicing to have a kid no kids are you much worse than dog dogs are much easier they just hang out with you they'll watch football whatever um so you know another weird thing is emerson is he's terrified of dogs i'm talking down from a teacup chihuahua all the way up to uh i was gonna say a mastodon but i think that's a an elephant but he's afraid of all dogs except for this dog this dog he's okay with and um every so often and well he feels like he's offended the dog you he's just like ah i think socks is mad at me i said i said something mean about him i'm like oh what did you say i said he smelled he's like he knows he smells he's got a nose everyone knows he smells it's okay and i just have to take emerson over to him and i'm like all right emerson say you're sorry to socks he's like i'm sorry dude and socks is just like i'm a dog and it's uh works out uh fine but it's it's a quirky cute little relationship they have um i did a lot of reading yesterday of articles and i'm like oh my god i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm too lost and because i i don't i don't have i don't know how to deal with you know if he if he passes away and so i was like oh man how do i deal with the the kiddos how do i talk to them about this and i read you know probably that's like 10 articles yesterday and a lot of them it's weird a lot of them they were fast reads because it was like oh there's a lot of copying and pasting happening here like you found this article and then you built off of that and you wrote your article good job you changed some words that's plagiarism um Anyway, that's, you know, that's, that's not my fight today. So, uh, but I got, I did get some, some nice things to do, um, some good ideas. And, um, one of them was, so we're going to have everyone in, uh, if, if, if you ever have an animal die, I will see how this works out, but I think it's, these are nice ideas. Uh, we're going to have everyone write out a list, five things, whatever, uh, of things that they loved about the dog. Um, just nice little things, right? And have those, everyone's going to have their little list and, and then we're going to have a ceremony. And now I've been planning here at headquarters to get a, uh, I want to have like a line of bird feeders, like nice bird feeders that look like little houses. Cause I think those are hilarious to think that there's birds that are living in houses. Uh, do they, you know, how's their wifi? Do they, do they go to work? Whatever. Um, and so we're going to, we're going to get them. We've got a nice bird feeder and I found one that it actually, it lights up at night, a little cling, a little light, which, and now I'm thinking the birds are going to hate that, but we'll see, you know, again, how that works out. But we said, we're going to put this bird feeder in and that's going to be like the, uh, the memorial spot, I guess. And, and we'll have a little ceremony because they all, all the articles say it's important not to just brush this stuff away. It's important not to just sweep it under the rug. You know, this is an event. This is an actual thing that happens in life. This is, this is a thing. It's a part of life. And so you want to acknowledge it and you want to, um, just, you know, you have, you have emotions, you have feelings. Let's, let's work through them. And I think that that makes sense. I think that's a good idea. So we'll have this little spot when we can tell our nice stories about the dog and, and, and maybe have a little bit of closure. Um, the heart, I'm having a couple of hard things. Uh, I think several hard things if I'm to be completely honest, but one of them is, um, uh, Emerson's birthday is on Monday and I, and I can't in any world, uh, bring this dog to the vet today or tomorrow, uh, and have this happen on his birthday. It just doesn't seem right or fair. So I'm, I'm, we're in a bit of a holdout pattern until Tuesday. Um, and you know, he's, he's not in pain. I'm going to say that he's, he seems, uh, moderately alert. His little tail wags. He's just not feeling good. So we're going to have a vet appointment set up for Tuesday. And, um, and that will be quite the day. I'm sure. Um, so I hope you enjoyed the story of Irving Brown Sox. I forgot. So he did live with Spot Elliott and Peanut Lou for a long time. He was in one of my cartoons, maybe two. Um, he, ah, now see now that's, this is where it's going to get sad. So, but now just, it goes with people. It goes with everything in your life. Be thankful for the time. You have with, with stuff, with things, with people, whatever, because you know, I, I, I try to, uh, I do a lot in life and I do a lot in life to, uh, keep moving. I'm like a shark. I want to keep moving or else I guess I, I don't know what happens. I keep, and I, but, and sometimes I don't slow down and enjoy, uh, the moments that I have. I've tried to get better at that recently. Um, to really to stop. And look at what, what's going on around you and acknowledge it. And, uh, is it's important, right? It's, it's time. Time doesn't come back. And, uh, uh-huh. I'm sad. And my little buddy here, he's, he's had a great life. We took him from a not great life. We gave him a great, oh, you can't even look at me. Look at you. You're embarrassed. Oh, look at you. But we gave him a great life. And that's all, that's all I could have done. That's all he wanted in the world. So he, he, he, he did, he had it all, right? And, uh, so that's good. So what I'm saying, so take care of yourself. Take care of people. Take care of animals. Animals are important. Uh, and, uh, just, just, you know, keep, keep moving forward day after day. And, um, did you, did you, at the end here, did you want to say anything? Or is that okay? Did I, did that encapsulate? No. You opened his mouth. Didn't it? He just, he licked his nose. So I think with that, we'll sign off. This is the Bumper Podcast. I am Natty Bumpercar, and I have been talking about and trying to interview my little pal, uh, Irving Brownsox, age 15, weight 44 pounds, beautiful eyes, smelly, fur coming out, even though he gets brushed all the time. Uh, okay. Bye, Sox. I love you.

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  • Bumperpodcast #322 – Days Off

    Bumperpodcast #322 – Days Off

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    Natty gets a couple of days off – and decides to try to make the most of it. There is a doughnut involved!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his eventful days off that turned into work-from-home days. Between work calls, Natty tackled DIY projects including installing a tow hitch on his Tiguan and re-screening his back door, indulged in delicious treats from his favorite donut shop (featuring a tres leches donut), and enjoyed an Indian buffet. The episode takes a poignant turn when Natty recounts the passing of Glassy the Pleco fish and his son's surprisingly casual reaction, leading to humorous reflections on mortality. After all his productivity, Natty ultimately spent his second day off simply watching TV, embracing the importance of rest and not running out of 'you.'

    Memorable Quotes

    “If you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got bupkis.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a lift rack so it was way up high.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Buddy, I'm sorry, Glassy didn't make it. Glassy moved on to a different place. And he just shrugged his shoulders.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #diyprojects #food #work-lifebalance #pets #mortality #homeimprovement #self-care #parenting

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hi bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and this is my favorite time of the day and i'm hoping that it at least ranks somewhere among your top 10 favorite parts of your day i'm you know i just want to crack the top 10 i'm not saying this is your favorite part of the day because that's way too much pressure for you and it's so much pressure for me i can't just please please please top 10 that's all i'm asking for but for me number one this is number one right up there at the top boom bumper podcast here i am there you are you're looking very nice today did you know that i was gonna be here you look like did you take a shower good for you i haven't i haven't taken a shower i took a couple of days off of work and um i've been i've had these clothes on now for this is my third day so i do need to change because i am going to the office today uh but here's the thing when sometimes when you like I have a job and I took days off and that was supposed to be exciting but you know what I ended up doing on those days off working that's right working so I in essence actually I just worked from home so days off turn into work from home days which is pretty fun except not so much uh but what I would do so I had a lot of end up having meetings I was trying to get some stuff fixed and so I was on a lot of calls um and actually doing some work myself as well um but what I would do is in between each of these things I was I had this huge list of projects and I was like I'm gonna get so much stuff done in these two days and and I had my list and I had checked it twice to find out which of my projects was naughty and which one of my projects was nice uh none of them were nice they were just annoying projects but I would go through my list and I would try to squeeze in a couple of things here and there so that uh you know I could get something done um the first day the first day started off really good my first day was there's a donut place near my house and it's my favorite donut place in the world on the planet and it's called Montclair Bread Montclair Bakery Montclair I think it's Montclair Bread and they have oh the donuts are so good I think I've talked about them before but I haven't talked about them I had a tres leches donut what does that mean three leches what does that mean three milks how does that work I don't know I know one is whipped cream so that's milk and then there's kind of like this sweetened condensed milk like bit to it so that's two milks the third milk I don't know I it's in there I mean it's not it's not dos leches cake no it's tres tres leches it's tres leches cake and you're gonna eat it and you're gonna love it and it's got it's got a cherry on top and it's just donut oh it's so good so that's how my day started right that was actually before I knew that I was gonna have to work for the day so and then after that I don't really remember what I did because I think I had so much sugar in my system that I passed out no I went to the tool store and I got some tool stuff so that I could do my tool project and then I came home and I did my first project my first was I put a a tow hitch it's called a tow hitch on the back of my Tiguan my little car and so I had to actually I watched the YouTube video like a hundred times for this because I was getting very much more nervous every single time I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen so I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen but i had to actually cut through it it was so scary i was afraid i was like i'm ruining my car i'm cutting into my car i'm destroying my poor car but i got that off and then i put the the tow hitch in and there were four bolts and i was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a uh like in the video they're like they had the car in a lift rack so it was way up high so that it was easier for them to do these things but me uh i i didn't get i didn't get that i was on the ground so that's fine i got it done got it all in there and um i was very excited it's very cool it actually looks nice and it looks right and it looks like it's like i didn't do it then i found out i had to do some work so i got on a call after that call i what did i do oh i did i went to uh i went on my second project and my second project was i had to re-screen the back door my back storm door and so that was pretty cool because like i had to watch another video and learn how to do more like doodad thing and um there's like this thing called a spline which is like a cord that goes around this little channel on the screen door she had to pull the spline out and then pull the old um screen out and then clean it all up really nice and put the new screen on and then uh get it cut into the corners and put the new spline in with a spline roller it's called i had to do all this stuff and uh my mother-in-law she was like why not just take that screen to the screen place and have them re-screen it and i was like because i'm learning a cool new skill and instead of it being you know like a 50 project for them to do it or maybe more i don't know it's and now it's a 15 project so i feel like i won in that one at least and then i had i'm trying to think what else i had um i did some other projects i don't know i oh oh oh oh after i did the second project i went and i had i went to an indian buffet and it was so good and i ate so much food so part of my day off was like i'm gonna eat some good food so i had my donut and then i had indian buffet indian buffet, all you can eat it was ten dollars and fifty bucks it's 20 bucks only, 10 dollars and 15 cents $10.50, $10.47 if I'm to be exact, and you know I am. I had two plates of food. And so what I did, the first plate, I went around and I had little tastes of everything. Little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, right? Oh God, it was so good. And my mouth was actually watering from it. And they gave me a little basket of naan, which is this kind of bread. And then on my second plate back, what you do is like, you're like, all right, I sampled everything. Now I'm going all in on the things that I really like. But there was some chicken, well, there's some tikka masala, which I put on some biryani rice. And then I had some tandoori chicken. Oh, it was so much chicken goodness. And then some, what else was it? I don't know, man. There was so much, there was just a lot of food. Let me just be clear with you that a lot of food was eaten. And then I went back and I had like this tiny little bowl of this rice stuff that was vanilla-y and yummy and just amazing. And then I came home and then I did another project. My brain is not telling me what that other project was, so it must not have been that important. And then I got everything kind of, the house kind of cleaned, did a little bit more work. And then that night, after I got everything good, I went and I saw the Avengers movie, which was a big movie, a big crazy movie, a big what, what in the what, what, what, what, what, what, what in the what movie. So that was my night. And then I came home that night, and guys, it was a little bit sad. Glassy, our Pleco, our Fish, the fish who keeps everything clean, he moved on to another fish world. He said, I can't take this anymore. I'm not gonna be in here with these snails and this shrimp. And then he died. And the sad thing is, is I feel like I might be responsible, because he was a big hardy fish he was like i was like this fish is good look at this fish i think that the snails might have eaten whatever he used to be eaten is my is my thinking so and which makes me feel like a horrible fish parent um but we you know what you move on you move on you move on and so when i had to get him out of the tank at the little fish net and everything and it was like 12 30 at night and so it was late i was kind of tired and uh one of the kids has this little robot dog this little very frustrating robot dog and i guess he was on the kitchen table which is where the fish tank is and my motion of getting the fish out was enough that uh and it's you know it's quiet in the house because it's so late i'm focused on getting the fish out i don't want to disturb any of the other fish and i'm i'm contemplating uh death because of the fish and then this is this robot dog just goes and i like flung the fish the fish just ah i threw everything because i didn't i thought i was being attacked by an adorable robot dog uh thankfully though i was not being attacked so but it took the kids uh two days two days to figure out that the biggest most giant fish uh was no longer in the tank and by the kids i mean only one of them he was going around he was doing like an inventory he was like oh there's snail there's that fish the shrimp is the shrimp gone I was like no the shrimp is right here he's not moving it's like no his little his little antenna are moving he's fine okay there's another fit wait dad where's that other fit where's the where's where's glassy and I had to break it down I was like buddy buddy buddy buddy I'm sorry glassy didn't glassy didn't make it you know glassy moved on to a different place glassy's no longer with us and he I was that I kind of I was just like does that make you sad does he was just like man he shrugged his shoulders so all right you know our dog is 15 at this point at some point he's probably gonna go to a farm or dog college or wherever dogs go and I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering after that at some point in life I might die I don't know I hope not but as I from my understanding it it's it's it's an inevitability and is it gonna be the same reaction oh where's dad he's I see Ollie is he mommy I see the snails I see the oh he's did he die and shrug his shoulders yeah oh it's not a natural reaction it's a weird reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know gonna do so then you know really hot here yesterday it was it was tanVI tanVI 92 degrees which is warm for it's spring we kind of skipped spring went straight to summer and i uh i got the list out and i started looking at it and i was just like i uh i think today i'm going to uh watch tv and that's what i did i just watched i watched tv from the beginning of the day until the end of the day i got nothing done but i felt fine about it i felt great about it and and because you know what i do too much and if you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got you've got but but bupkis what's bupkis what's a bupkis i don't know but i know what you are you're the bumper podcast kateers and i know what i am i am natty bumper car and i know what this is this is a bumper podcast and again this is my favorite time of the day i hope it's your favorite time of the day you go and make all that magic happen why don't you make

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  • Bumperpodcast #297 – Kid Chaos

    Bumperpodcast #297 – Kid Chaos

    Oh no. After a successful appearance, the kids are back – and so is the chaos. Pig stops by to help as well!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Do you like chaos? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by his two young sons for an unpredictable conversation that ranges from cutting down a backyard tree to imaginary dog treat pizza. The boys discuss their father's tree-cutting adventures, their recent trip to the city for a comedy show, and their excitement about joining a pool. The episode features plenty of sibling banter, microphone mishaps, and Oliver's increasingly wild stories about driving dogs and bone guns. Natty struggles to keep the conversation on track while his sons create elaborate fictional scenarios involving their dog Socks eating special pizza and breaking health codes.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I didn't go to the city. You went to the city? We went to a show. What show? You and me did jokes.”

    — Unknown (child)

    “So let me get this straight. You can't sit next to Emerson eating strawberries but you can sit next to Socks eating dog poop pizza?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Welcome to Distraction City. Population, those two.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #family #kids #parenting #comedyshow #summeractivities #pool #pets #chaos

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i have some exciting news the tree is gone i'm not i'm not even gonna bury the lead i'm just gonna come right out and i'm gonna tell you the tree is gone i hear feet above me which means that there are people running to be on the show which is very exciting because oh there's two people coming i can't do a podcast without you guys that's right oh boy ladies and gentlemen we have two special guests here today three i was not oh we have three because the dog came in too that is this morning very exciting i was asleep and uh the dog got away he did and i had to go save him come back the dog's now okay all right so all right the dog's gone the dog is no longer

    Unknown: on the show so the dog is scared what's the dog scared of i don't know maybe this

    Natty Bumpercar: hey why don't you put your butt right here there you go my dog what are you talking about hey is that what you're gonna talk is that what you're gonna say what he's

    Unknown: gone

    Natty Bumpercar: what are you gonna talk about were you guys so surprised yesterday when you came home went out and why were you surprised because i was here or were you just surprised that i brought

    Unknown: you home come on bo i didn't i wasn't surprised nothing happened no nothing nothing happened

    Natty Bumpercar: no or did something big happen um the backyard is not different at all oh the backyard's different daddy daddy cut the tree down no he did done done done why is that ollie why did i cut the

    Unknown: tree down why did i cut the tree down cosズ he's the cutting man, wat is the cutting man and all of her cuddys

    Natty Bumpercar: daddy is the cutting 162 00rj what does a cutting man do

    Unknown: he cuts down the tree

    Natty Bumpercar: chops down trees like a boss

    Unknown: whut, that doesn't make no sense

    Natty Bumpercar: does that mean anything to you

    Unknown: all of the cutting man no he's not no i'm

    Natty Bumpercar: he's the chopping boy

    Unknown: chopping boy and i have a little tweezer that baby snaps those branches up its my tree

    Natty Bumpercar: no you don't have a tree

    Unknown: a tree. They don't make no sense. Daddy, do you remember? When I showed you that tree, you said, be careful. No. He's going to break you. Watch out.

    Natty Bumpercar: We're going to switch over to here, but you can still keep talking to Emerson.

    Unknown: So, anyway. So, Emerson,

    Natty Bumpercar: if Oliver was the shopping boy, what were you?

    Unknown: I know his name. I don't want to tell.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't want to tell everybody? The dreamy. Oh, good job. That's why he broke the microphone. I told you he was going to do it. That's why we don't touch things all the time, guys.

    Unknown: Now he broke it forever? Yes, forever.

    Natty Bumpercar: There's no need to yell, because the microphone's right there. And you've got headphones on, so you can hear yourself talk.

    Unknown: Yeah, that's creepy.

    Natty Bumpercar: Remember how he just broke it by touching it?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah. I remember how he broke it. So, you're still touching it. It's amazing.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why does he keep touching it? Whose children are these? So, you were surprised by the tree being gone? Yeah, a little bit. I didn't show you guys the photos and videos of it, did I? Yeah, you did. Oh, I showed you at school. That's right. Here, here's what you guys can do. You didn't show Oliver. Did you show the little one? I'm going this ear. Because he didn't see the tree. There, does that work? I guess you're not talking about the tree anymore. I don't know what's happening. This is a weird episode. See, isn't it weird how you can hear yourself talk anyway? Well, it's headphones. It's not that weird. So, what else did Daddy do yesterday?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah. Imagine he took a nap or something. He's making me so hurting. He's hurting. Fix the boy. You definitely didn't touch it. Take a shower. I can tell that. Oliver, I'm not going to wear the microphone. All right, take them off. I wish I could tell my story. Why are you touching the microphone? I just get excited. I don't know. I love animals really much like that. I like animals, too.

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you have animals on your shirt? Why are you trying to climb?

    Unknown: Because I want to get to the microphone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you want to stand, too? Wow, you guys are

    Unknown: out of control. They're out of control. Daddy just hit the microphone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Welcome to Distraction City. Population, those two.

    Unknown: Daddy's distracted. Stop spitting.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you spit?

    Unknown: No, Oliver keeps on making the breath on me. What's he doing? Stop making the breath on me. It smells bad, I guess.

    Natty Bumpercar: Does it pig breath? It's just talking to the microphone.

    Unknown: Don't yell.

    Natty Bumpercar: What did Daddy do yesterday besides a tree? Something you're both excited about.

    Unknown: Is it food?

    Natty Bumpercar: Man, you guys are good at answering questions today. I'm trying. You know what? After your last appearance, everyone's excited about you being on the show. I mean, I was.

    Unknown: Stop putting your breath on me. I see the backyard. That's the front yard. Yeah, it's the front. So anyway, I want to tell us…

    Natty Bumpercar: Oliver keeps on putting his breath on you. Hey, Ollie, can you stop putting your breath on people? It's so much cleaning. It smells like… Come on. He just woke up. He just ate some food. Can a dog smell a little bit?

    Unknown: It smells like rotten teeth breath.

    Natty Bumpercar: Ollie, do you have rotten teeth breath? Oh, no. Done, done.

    Unknown: He's going to have to go to the doctor.

    Natty Bumpercar: Now I have rotting teeth breath. Wait, is it catching?

    Unknown: Somebody smell my breath. Smell my breath.

    Natty Bumpercar: We're going to have to go to the dentist and get all of our teeth pulled. Oh, yeah, the dentist. I said doctor. No, I don't want to do that. Golly gee. Golly, golly gee. Good voice you're doing. You're so heavy. I can't hold you like this. Daddy? Yes, sir. Oliver.

    Unknown: What are you… Wait, on Sunday… Oliver. On Sunday, are we having a babysitter? Babysitter?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, on Sunday, we're having the whole family over. Who? No, come on.

    Unknown: Not all of them. It's Mother's Day.

    Natty Bumpercar: Mother is a pig. That's on Sunday, again. What's Saturday? I've said that a few times. Do we have a babysitter on Sunday? No, we do not. I just said… On Saturday? We don't have a babysitter this weekend. There's no babysitter this weekend.

    Unknown: But you said… Can I babysit?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oliver, what day do we have a babysitter?

    Unknown: I don't know. It's like a mystery now. Oh, June 10th.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I know. June 10th. June 10th is the worst. I can't believe it.

    Unknown: I can't believe it.

    Natty Bumpercar: No. That would be the worst thing ever.

    Unknown: The worst?

    Natty Bumpercar: Why would you say that? Oh, my goodness.

    Unknown: Then Mommy would never see you again. That'd be so sad.

    Natty Bumpercar: And Mommy would cry.

    Unknown: Could I have his bed? I'm joking. That was a hilarious joke.

    Natty Bumpercar: Never mind. Guys, where did we go last weekend? We went to the city. And what did we do?

    Unknown: I didn't go to the city. You went to the city? We went to a show. What show? You and me did jokes.

    Natty Bumpercar: I did jokes and you guys came? You went to a show? Did you have fun?

    Unknown: Comedy show? Maybe.

    Natty Bumpercar: Maybe.

    Unknown: Socks came too. No, he did not. Yes, we did.

    Natty Bumpercar: Was Socks in the back seat of the car?

    Unknown: Yeah, probably. No, he wasn't. No. Oliver ate… Socks ate pizza. Oliver ate pizza. Why did he eat pizza? Because he was sneaking in.

    Natty Bumpercar: You ate pizza because you were sneaking in?

    Unknown: This is ridiculous. Socks ate pizza with me.

    Natty Bumpercar: You guys went to a pizza parlor together?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: What kind of pizza did you get?

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Cheese pizza. What kind of pizza did Socks get? Dog treat pizza.

    Unknown: There's no such thing as dog treat pizza. Dog treat pizza. That sounds yummy.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's only for dogs. It's my favorite kind though.

    Unknown: That smells yucky. Dog treat pizza? Depends on what they're on. It's only for dogs. So if I went into a pizza place and I ordered a dog treat pizza, they wouldn't give it to me? No way. Only for Socks.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, man. What if… So I'd have to have Socks next to me. Or maybe I'd have to pay Socks to buy the dog treat pizza so that I could go outside

    Unknown: and eat it. How are you going to pay the dog?

    Natty Bumpercar: He doesn't even have a wife. He doesn't even have a wife. He doesn't even have a wife. It tastes like poop dogs. Ew. Dogs don't eat that. That sounds disgusting.

    Unknown: There's no way. It tastes for people. It's only for dog treats for only dogs.

    Natty Bumpercar: There is no way that the health code is not being violated by him selling dog poop.

    Unknown: There's no way that they're going to let him do that.

    Natty Bumpercar: They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog.

    Unknown: They didn't even let me in restaurants.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you sit next to him while he ate that pizza?

    Unknown: And I ate mine cheese.

    Natty Bumpercar: So let me get this straight. You can't sit next to Emerson eating strawberries but you can sit next to Socks eating dog poop pizza?

    Unknown: It doesn't make sense. No. It's the dog treat pizza. Then I'll try it. I drove Socks back here.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, you drove the dog back here? That doesn't make any sense at all. You can't even reach the pedals.

    Unknown: That kid's going straight to jail.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're so tiny. you said door to open the door how did you get out of the car like a delinquent uh-oh i had a gun

    Unknown: he had a what what in the world what are you teaching these kids

    Natty Bumpercar: i don't even believe what i'm hearing right now this is not my ollie this is not who you are you do not move out drive dogs around with guns that you shoot to the pizza place that's too much no

    Unknown: i got out how i got out i got a gun and he got out come on did you break our car do you think mommy's gonna like you talking no she ain't like no not even a little bit if you if you push you down there what are you gonna push people down what what now what are you talking

    Natty Bumpercar: about that's the second time even on the show and you've done uh an infringement of copyright that we cannot you can't afford

    Unknown: it's batman i see batman little one's leaving i see batman everybody what is he talking about batman the bobblehead oh he's over there and i have and i have and i have a star wars guy what is it's like a real divergence that's a good transition i'm glad that we went from the and he has a bone gun a what he has a bone what is a bone gun i don't even know what words i mean

    Natty Bumpercar: it's like a bone gun does it shoot bones so did you emerson did you go to the city as well yeah and what was your favorite part

    Unknown: we go with everything i don't know well i mean did you like the show the whole experience i like the show and i liked everything were you embarrassed no i would be embarrassed scared no did you like

    Natty Bumpercar: that they put daddy up first yeah i wish i would have put me up first that's okay um and then we came home right and we played a little bit we've been playing we've been scootering right

    Unknown: we were scootering yes you guys been going outside all the time in the front driveway

    Natty Bumpercar: well that is true thanks thanks thanks for backing me up on that one that one's true

    Unknown: but uh the pool i wish i could have told a story oh yeah the pool but it makes so much more sense we joined the pool yeah yeah yeah which means

    Natty Bumpercar: but you're not gonna bring me what is he saying ollie that is not polite what is this kid on we're gonna go as soon as we can oliver not polite sir uh whenever whenever the pool joins then we i mean whenever uh words words are you gonna bring socks to the pool

    Unknown: you know there's no dogs allowed i i trust you but there's a german shepherd one no it wasn't at the pool no no that was at the mystery icon

    Natty Bumpercar: whose friend who's whose dog was that who's friend of yours um me it was michelle's dog and his name is name is michelle's dog and his name is michelle's dog and his name is Dog and his name is name zoo name and name

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  • Bumperpodcast #296 – Laser Lightning Trees

    Bumperpodcast #296 – Laser Lightning Trees

    Lasers – Lightning – Explosions – Trees! It’s a hyperactive and hyper-short edition of the Bumperpodcast!

    Do you like trees? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    This is a ‘Laser Lightning’ version of the Bumperpodcast – which is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this laser lightning episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares the exciting (or "inciting") news that a dying oak tree in his backyard is about to be removed. The giant three-story tree has been dropping branches and threatening to fall on his house, so professionals are coming to take it down. Natty reflects on the tree's long history and how it's been there much longer than his three years at the house. He recounts his children's hilarious reactions to the news, with one son spiraling through various concerns about the house, the swing set, and even their dog Socks potentially being traumatized by the tree removal. This charming episode captures the comedy of everyday family life and childhood anxieties.

    Memorable Quotes

    “i got so excited that i actually said inciting so this is so inciting that i can't even stand it”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “he was like change i don't like change and i was like bro relax and he was just like but they're gonna drop it on our house”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “his next one was like what about socks that's our dog obviously and i was just like what why are we worried about him”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #trees #family #homemaintenance #children #pets #anxiety #change

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: okay bumper podcast this is another laser lightning episode of the bumper podcast and today i gotta tell you it's something it's inciting inciting that's not the word i wanted to say i was trying to say exciting but i got so excited that i actually said inciting so this is so inciting that i can't even stand it in fact oh it's inciting excitement that's where we are right now uh so today the excitement that has been incited is that there is a tree in our backyard is a giant tree it is an oak tree it has a sickness it is dying it is dropping branches everywhere it thinks that it wants to sleep on my house i do not want it to sleep on my house the man is going to come with his tools maybe several men i don't know maybe a truck i don't know maybe a robot i don't know and uh the tree is going to be removed now it's kind of sad to me because this is a tree that is big it's probably uh three stories tall about 35 feet or whatever uh but i and so it's been there a long time it's been it's been here a lot longer than i've been here i've only been in this in this place uh three years or so and uh this tree it's been there all right it was it was maybe it was a little acorn is that what oaks would what oaks come from oak nut maybe it was you're gonna granola i don't know maybe it was but maybe it was here maybe it like a bird ate something a seed flew over and then deposited the seed and then the little sapling came up and then the people said oh that would look nice in 30 years or 40 years or however i don't know how old 100 years i don't know how old the tree is it won't tell me it's not polite for me to ask how old the tree is but uh the tree is going to go away and i told my children this and they freaked out not because the tree was going although one of them did because he was like change i don't like change and i was like bro relax and he was just like but they're gonna drop it on our house and i was like well we're hoping they don't do that okay that's kind of the goal is to not drop the tree on the house and then he was just like but what about art and he starts looking around the yard for things to freak out swing set and i was like the swing sets on the other side of the yard it's not gonna not gonna hit that and then he his next one was like what about socks that's our dog obviously and i was just like what why are we worried about him and i don't he couldn't really articulate what he was trying he was worried about but he was kind of freaked out that the dog is gonna be upset about it maybe you know like oh that's the dog's tree that's his best friend he hangs out with well no he's a dog he's a dog he's a smelly smelly dog the uh the uh we were we were putting some clothes away i mean my wife and i this little transition and uh i couldn't figure out whose clothes were whose whose clothes belonged to who and she i was just like which one is which one does this go to

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  • Bumperpodcast 100

    Bumperpodcast 100

    Silence ... Headquarters has gone all kinds of quiet.

And - then something magical happens ... 

Shhhhhhh ...
    

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    About This Episode
    

    Natty Bumpercar celebrates a major milestone as the Bumperpodcast reaches episode 100! In this landmark episode, Natty shares a hilarious story about brushing his dog Irving Brown Sox's teeth after the pup developed a serious case of "yuck mouth." The tale involves a party thrown for Cinnamon the Horse after the classic "why the long face" joke made him sad, only to have Irving's bad breath clear the room. Natty also riffs on needing a new catchphrase and delivers an absurd story about fish playing high school football. It's a characteristically silly and improvisational celebration of 100 episodes of puppet comedy.
    

    Memorable Quotes
    

    

    “I brushed Irving Brown Sox's teeth today because his mouth, he had a yuck mouth.”
    

    — Natty Bumpercar
    

    

    “Cinnamon, why the long face? And he was like, that joke makes me sad. And we were like, you know what? We don't want you to be sad. We want to have a party for you.”
    

    — Natty Bumpercar
    

    

    “I don't know why I keep saying boom. Boom. I don't like boom. I need a new word.”
    

    — Natty Bumpercar
    

    Topics: #milestone #dogs #pets #parties #humor #dentalhygiene #celebrations
    

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Irving Brown Sox
    

    

    
Full Transcript

    

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, it's like a party whistle. You know why it's like a party whistle? Hold on, I got another party whistle. What happened? What happened? Was there like 20 seconds of silence? Because you know why? Because last week, it was the end. It was the end of the Bumper Podcast. It was the end of the Bumper Podcast in the pre-three-digit era, that is. Boom! Welcome to number 100. This is the 100th Bumper Podcast. I'm Natty Bumper. I'm Natty Bumper Car. This is number 100. This is the Bumper Podcast. You know all about me because I told you all about me a couple of episodes. You know what else about me? I brushed my dog's teeth today. That's right. I brushed Irving Brown Sox's teeth today because his mouth, he had a yuck mouth. Do you remember yuck mouths? They were just like, I got a yuck mouth.
    

    Irving Brown Sox: I got a yuck mouth. I got a yucky, yucky, yucky, yucky yuck mouth. Look at me now, yuck mouth. Look at me now, yuck mouth.
    

    Natty Bumpercar: And I went in there with a toothbrush and I was like, scrub, scrub, scrub. Circles, circles, circles, circles, horizontal, horizontal, horizontal, vertical, vertical, vertical, circles, circles, circles, because literally, he walked into the room where the party was happening and because sometimes we like to have parties around headquarters. All right? Why? Well, let's just say Cinnamon the Horse came in with a very long face. And we were all like, Cinnamon, why the long face? And he was like, that joke makes me sad. And we were like, you know what? We don't want you to be sad. We want to have a party for you. Boom. That's the only reason we need for a party around here. And then Irving Brown Sox walks into the room and starts breathing because that's what dogs do sometimes. He was all like.
    

    Irving Brown Sox: And then.
    

    Natty Bumpercar: The room cleared out. And then it's me. Boom. I don't know why I keep saying boom. Boom. I don't like boom. I need a new word. Blah, blah, blah. And then. Blah, blah, blah. Nah, that sounds like a fish. That sounds like an exclamation a fish would have. Like when a fish high school football game, when the little fish makes the surprise catch in the fish end zone. And like, he goes to spike the ball in front of the stands because everybody's going to love him now. And then out of nowhere, he's all like. Blah blah blah.