Tag: performance anxiety

Natty Bumpercar: so this is going to be one of those episodes where i've got i've got thoughts i've got ideas

Aloysious J. Pig: and i've got thoughts okay so you mean it's going to be one of those episodes that people can should just go ahead and like skip that's what you're saying right off the bat just hey hey everybody warning here's just so you know an episode that you probably don't need to listen

Natty Bumpercar: don't no no that's not what i'm saying at all no no no so here's the thing at night when i do i say here's the thing a lot i feel like i say here's the thing a lot hold on a second now i got to

Aloysious J. Pig: think about that and now you're derailed you came in all hot and strong and you're like oh i got something to talk about and now you're like oh another shiny thing focus bumper car you're a

Natty Bumpercar: minute in and there's the phone ringing and that's why i can't focus because there's never any time to focus on anything because i never get a chance it's like all i do in my life at this point is i run around and i put out fires i'm like oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run and i never even get to check if the fires are actually out because i'm so busy running from fire to fire to fire you

Aloysious J. Pig: better hope that this is not being do we play these ever at a at a movie theater any kind of theater because if you're doing your podcast and you're up here screaming fire fire fire people are gonna get you're gonna i think you're breaking some laws maybe i but you can't just start screaming fire fire fire that's that's that's highly illegal and if and i'm not listen i'm not saying that because i want anybody else to come to the podcast because i like it's just you and me today but i think you're probably bending maybe even breaking a couple

Natty Bumpercar: of laws here yeah no i listen don't you worry about that we live in a post-law society would you stop stop this is supposed to be a silly funny

Aloysious J. Pig: podcast don't if you if you jump down that hole that rabbit hole you're gonna be in all kinds of trouble dude i wouldn't do it i would just take a deep breath and now let's talk about whatever it was that you started off now two minutes ago wanting to talk about ah that was

Natty Bumpercar: so long ago and now i feel like we've talked about i don't remember i was so excited i came in and i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so I'd been thinking about something that I wanted to talk about, and I thought it was even interesting, and then I was, I, I, I can't, why, why does this happen?

Aloysious J. Pig: Is it because you don't do the podcast often enough, and so you're a little bit out of, out of, out of, out of sync? That's not what I want. Out of practice? That's what I want. Or maybe is it because the only time you actually have conversations around the podcast, because you don't talk to other people, and so you, maybe you just had too much ready to go, and then when you got distracted, it all fell apart?

Natty Bumpercar: No, I talk to people all the time. Like, I'm always talking to people. I, I talk to people constantly, really, you know, if, if, if you look at talking, then. I'm probably, I'm doing, I'm talking.

Aloysious J. Pig: You, you understand that it's, like, people in, in restaurants and, and stores, that, those aren't common, you're, you're, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They, they're, they're just trying to be, uh, cordial, civil, you know, uh.

Natty Bumpercar: Civil, like, civil, civil shepherd?

Aloysious J. Pig: I did, yeah, so now we're doing, like, references to television from 30 years ago?

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, bumper car.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Oh, bumper. Bumper car. What are you doing?

Natty Bumpercar: Well, what about, okay, fine, I understand, and I accept, whatever, that those, those people are probably, maybe only being nice to me because it's, it's their job, uh, which, fine, whatever, you know, they don't have to do their job so well to me, right, to talk to me. They could just, uh, give me a smile and walk away, but I'll, fine, I will accept your, your logic, and I will say, what about? I had a show this weekend, and, and I, I talked to people there.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, you, so, when you're doing stand-up comedy, you're not talking to people, you're talking at people. You're on stage, right, which by, you're up high, you're far away, you're talking into a microphone, which is, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's, uh, I would say magnifying your voice? Is that what we're saying? Amplifying. We'll say amplifying your voice. And so it's, that's, that's also not a conversation, but it really highlights, I think, where your brain is, uh, a little bit, uh, wonk, wonka-doodle.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, okay, so normally I totally agree with you, but this show, which I had to drive two hours to get to, it was so far away because of traffic and stuff. So I got there, and they had the tables set up, like, 20 feet from the stage where I was performing. and the also the stage was like high up like super high up like probably i'm gonna go five and a half feet five feet we'll say five feet up and there were spotlights but they were not on and they were not pointed at the stage even if they were on so it created this really weird environment and um so i was sitting in the back at the comics table which was table number 13 which is

Aloysious J. Pig: not foreshadowing at all did i tell the crowd so listen everybody who's listening to this story first off i apologize second off uh if bumper car sounds weird it's because every so often

Unknown: there's still music beds that are coming through that evidently somebody forgot to turn off and so

Aloysious J. Pig: he was telling some story then all of a sudden it's like unksha unksha unksha which is why he sounded confused anyway back back to your story tell your story tell your story okay yeah those

Natty Bumpercar: unksha unksha beats uh are always coming through so here's so so i uh i was back at the table and there was a woman who was running the show she like hired us i guess and she came back and the producer of the show said hi just so you know you're gonna be bringing um natty up he's the host for the for the show and i said hi natty and she's like what's your name natty bumper car that's a stupid name no she didn't say stupid that's a silly name uh is that really your name and i said ah who knows because that's usually what i say uh just to get out of that conversation and uh or i say probably uh and and she's like okay whatever listen uh in a few minutes uh i'll go up there i'm gonna say a little bit about the show and and then i'll introduce you and i was like perfect and so in my mind that meant okay i have time to i'm gonna i'm gonna go use the bathroom maybe i'm gonna stretch a little bit maybe do some jumping jack whatever i do i don't know think about what i'm gonna say and i i stood up to leave the room to find the bathroom and uh she was already on the stage and she was like okay everybody here's your host uh natty and i was i was two feet out of the door which meant i was all the way out of the door already and i went oh oh and and i had to turn and run all the way up to the stage because it was far away it was it was much farther than i thought it was and uh you know hopped up on stage and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go use the bathroom and i was just like haha what happened to a few minutes huh thanks oh here we go which was a weird way to start a show not how you want to start a show and uh i'm not blaming that but the crowd was you know like usually they have like a 30 second hey everybody thanks for coming out tonight thanks for coming to our show how about that food ha that's sponsored by this person and look at all these decorations great job these people like whatever it is and now let's get ready you guys and they're like yeah we're ready but this was instead this was just like hey show go and and and me running on stage and so the crowd was just like kind of there but also kind of not there and i did about 12 minutes up front and um you know there were some laughs but there was also a lot of me switching gears it was like i'm gonna try that no you don't like okay i'm gonna try that you don't like okay i'm gonna try that nope okay good good good just a lot of me kind of uh feeling the crowd out trying to feel what they like trying to feel what they don't like or whatever and um so then i got off like i introduced uh the person who produced the show she was going to do a little jump on spot a little guest spot and so i introduced her like hey and i i found a little back room on the stage because i didn't want to go all the way back to the table because i'd already got my steps in that day so after she got off i went up and i was i was i was i was like i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this frustrated because i i i'm the host and i was not gonna let the show go that way and so i was just like no no i'm taking charge and so they had given me a wireless microphone and so i actually hopped off the stage and i decided to run from table to table to table and i don't it's not necessarily crowd work because i wasn't really letting them talk so much but i would pick out something at the table and i would make fun of it quick boom bam boom zing zing zing and then i would run to the next table boom bam boom zing zing zing and you know and that actually got the crowd engaged and that got them kind of awake and kind of like oh hey we're at a show and then you know it was good because the other two comics uh they had a much easier time with the crowd because i forced them to be engaged and i was so happy with that because it was a little bit you know like it's easy to get depressed and get into a funk when things aren't going exactly the way you want them to or the way you planned for them to go and just kind of throw your hands up and be like well i tried but you know did you did you try and and so i was like no i'm i refuse i refuse this reality i'm gonna take charge of this reality and and and and i did and it it worked out to the point where i was like oh my god i'm gonna do this after the show everyone was like oh that was so fun when you came down and talked to us when you were running around and you were talking to us and i was just like yay good glad to hear it yay good i don't want to talk about it now because it makes me

Aloysious J. Pig: uncomfortable talking to humans uh yeah so that's what i'm talking so that you know what it sounds like you might have had a conversation or two which uh good for you really proud of you really really coming far really the the performer who you know is really coming out of his shell good job good for you yeah really proud of you really happy for you okay um what were you what were you talking about earlier we said about talking to people oh because i actually checked out you were talking right then for like seven minutes and so i kind of walked out of the room

Natty Bumpercar: yeah which i apologize but it's uh you know i'm a very busy uh pig yeah you're very i get it but no what was you i came in remember i was excited to talk about something on the podcast and then i got distracted and then you tried to bring everything back together and by the time you did that i had already forgotten what it was that i wanted to talk about that i was all excited to talk about and then you um said asked if if i was forgetting because i wasn't doing the show enough and so i was out of practice yep or if um that because i never talked to anybody in the world i that maybe um i was saving everything up just to explode out into the bumper podcast and so maybe

Aloysious J. Pig: that's what was happening i think yeah that uh that sounds about right but it's also pretty we're not if i was trying to say phenomenally but i said renominally it's pretty phenomenally creepy like that did you take notes on the conversation because i pretty that's all those things you were just saying were i think exactly the things that i was talking anyway who cares who cares who cares um fine so i i don't know what we established there yes you talked to people not at people and they weren't people at a place of business like a restaurant or a store where they have to talk to you so what i think well that we've maybe proven in some form of fashion yeah that you might be uh human is that what we're doing i mean i don't i forget the whole point of this whole thing

Natty Bumpercar: no i think maybe we just i don't know what we just proved that i talked to people sometimes yeah we've proved that i talk to people sometimes and i don't i don't only talk on the podcast i'm human you

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash bumper podcast and we'll see you next time on the bumper podcast forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus to you rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car dot com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon