Tag: parenting

Bumperpodcast #322 – Days Off

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Natty gets a couple of days off – and decides to try to make the most of it. There is a doughnut involved!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his eventful days off that turned into work-from-home days. Between work calls, Natty tackled DIY projects including installing a tow hitch on his Tiguan and re-screening his back door, indulged in delicious treats from his favorite donut shop (featuring a tres leches donut), and enjoyed an Indian buffet. The episode takes a poignant turn when Natty recounts the passing of Glassy the Pleco fish and his son's surprisingly casual reaction, leading to humorous reflections on mortality. After all his productivity, Natty ultimately spent his second day off simply watching TV, embracing the importance of rest and not running out of 'you.'

Memorable Quotes

“If you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got bupkis.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a lift rack so it was way up high.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Buddy, I'm sorry, Glassy didn't make it. Glassy moved on to a different place. And he just shrugged his shoulders.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #diyprojects #food #work-lifebalance #pets #mortality #homeimprovement #self-care #parenting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh hi bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and this is my favorite time of the day and i'm hoping that it at least ranks somewhere among your top 10 favorite parts of your day i'm you know i just want to crack the top 10 i'm not saying this is your favorite part of the day because that's way too much pressure for you and it's so much pressure for me i can't just please please please top 10 that's all i'm asking for but for me number one this is number one right up there at the top boom bumper podcast here i am there you are you're looking very nice today did you know that i was gonna be here you look like did you take a shower good for you i haven't i haven't taken a shower i took a couple of days off of work and um i've been i've had these clothes on now for this is my third day so i do need to change because i am going to the office today uh but here's the thing when sometimes when you like I have a job and I took days off and that was supposed to be exciting but you know what I ended up doing on those days off working that's right working so I in essence actually I just worked from home so days off turn into work from home days which is pretty fun except not so much uh but what I would do so I had a lot of end up having meetings I was trying to get some stuff fixed and so I was on a lot of calls um and actually doing some work myself as well um but what I would do is in between each of these things I was I had this huge list of projects and I was like I'm gonna get so much stuff done in these two days and and I had my list and I had checked it twice to find out which of my projects was naughty and which one of my projects was nice uh none of them were nice they were just annoying projects but I would go through my list and I would try to squeeze in a couple of things here and there so that uh you know I could get something done um the first day the first day started off really good my first day was there's a donut place near my house and it's my favorite donut place in the world on the planet and it's called Montclair Bread Montclair Bakery Montclair I think it's Montclair Bread and they have oh the donuts are so good I think I've talked about them before but I haven't talked about them I had a tres leches donut what does that mean three leches what does that mean three milks how does that work I don't know I know one is whipped cream so that's milk and then there's kind of like this sweetened condensed milk like bit to it so that's two milks the third milk I don't know I it's in there I mean it's not it's not dos leches cake no it's tres tres leches it's tres leches cake and you're gonna eat it and you're gonna love it and it's got it's got a cherry on top and it's just donut oh it's so good so that's how my day started right that was actually before I knew that I was gonna have to work for the day so and then after that I don't really remember what I did because I think I had so much sugar in my system that I passed out no I went to the tool store and I got some tool stuff so that I could do my tool project and then I came home and I did my first project my first was I put a a tow hitch it's called a tow hitch on the back of my Tiguan my little car and so I had to actually I watched the YouTube video like a hundred times for this because I was getting very much more nervous every single time I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen so I had to take a utility knife and cut into the bottom of my bumper there was a pre scored square rectangle there that like from the manufacturer from Volkswagen but i had to actually cut through it it was so scary i was afraid i was like i'm ruining my car i'm cutting into my car i'm destroying my poor car but i got that off and then i put the the tow hitch in and there were four bolts and i was like laying on a little my little blanket on the ground trying to do this stuff above my head because it wasn't on like a uh like in the video they're like they had the car in a lift rack so it was way up high so that it was easier for them to do these things but me uh i i didn't get i didn't get that i was on the ground so that's fine i got it done got it all in there and um i was very excited it's very cool it actually looks nice and it looks right and it looks like it's like i didn't do it then i found out i had to do some work so i got on a call after that call i what did i do oh i did i went to uh i went on my second project and my second project was i had to re-screen the back door my back storm door and so that was pretty cool because like i had to watch another video and learn how to do more like doodad thing and um there's like this thing called a spline which is like a cord that goes around this little channel on the screen door she had to pull the spline out and then pull the old um screen out and then clean it all up really nice and put the new screen on and then uh get it cut into the corners and put the new spline in with a spline roller it's called i had to do all this stuff and uh my mother-in-law she was like why not just take that screen to the screen place and have them re-screen it and i was like because i'm learning a cool new skill and instead of it being you know like a 50 project for them to do it or maybe more i don't know it's and now it's a 15 project so i feel like i won in that one at least and then i had i'm trying to think what else i had um i did some other projects i don't know i oh oh oh oh after i did the second project i went and i had i went to an indian buffet and it was so good and i ate so much food so part of my day off was like i'm gonna eat some good food so i had my donut and then i had indian buffet indian buffet, all you can eat it was ten dollars and fifty bucks it's 20 bucks only, 10 dollars and 15 cents $10.50, $10.47 if I'm to be exact, and you know I am. I had two plates of food. And so what I did, the first plate, I went around and I had little tastes of everything. Little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, little tastes, right? Oh God, it was so good. And my mouth was actually watering from it. And they gave me a little basket of naan, which is this kind of bread. And then on my second plate back, what you do is like, you're like, all right, I sampled everything. Now I'm going all in on the things that I really like. But there was some chicken, well, there's some tikka masala, which I put on some biryani rice. And then I had some tandoori chicken. Oh, it was so much chicken goodness. And then some, what else was it? I don't know, man. There was so much, there was just a lot of food. Let me just be clear with you that a lot of food was eaten. And then I went back and I had like this tiny little bowl of this rice stuff that was vanilla-y and yummy and just amazing. And then I came home and then I did another project. My brain is not telling me what that other project was, so it must not have been that important. And then I got everything kind of, the house kind of cleaned, did a little bit more work. And then that night, after I got everything good, I went and I saw the Avengers movie, which was a big movie, a big crazy movie, a big what, what in the what, what, what, what, what, what, what in the what movie. So that was my night. And then I came home that night, and guys, it was a little bit sad. Glassy, our Pleco, our Fish, the fish who keeps everything clean, he moved on to another fish world. He said, I can't take this anymore. I'm not gonna be in here with these snails and this shrimp. And then he died. And the sad thing is, is I feel like I might be responsible, because he was a big hardy fish he was like i was like this fish is good look at this fish i think that the snails might have eaten whatever he used to be eaten is my is my thinking so and which makes me feel like a horrible fish parent um but we you know what you move on you move on you move on and so when i had to get him out of the tank at the little fish net and everything and it was like 12 30 at night and so it was late i was kind of tired and uh one of the kids has this little robot dog this little very frustrating robot dog and i guess he was on the kitchen table which is where the fish tank is and my motion of getting the fish out was enough that uh and it's you know it's quiet in the house because it's so late i'm focused on getting the fish out i don't want to disturb any of the other fish and i'm i'm contemplating uh death because of the fish and then this is this robot dog just goes and i like flung the fish the fish just ah i threw everything because i didn't i thought i was being attacked by an adorable robot dog uh thankfully though i was not being attacked so but it took the kids uh two days two days to figure out that the biggest most giant fish uh was no longer in the tank and by the kids i mean only one of them he was going around he was doing like an inventory he was like oh there's snail there's that fish the shrimp is the shrimp gone I was like no the shrimp is right here he's not moving it's like no his little his little antenna are moving he's fine okay there's another fit wait dad where's that other fit where's the where's where's glassy and I had to break it down I was like buddy buddy buddy buddy I'm sorry glassy didn't glassy didn't make it you know glassy moved on to a different place glassy's no longer with us and he I was that I kind of I was just like does that make you sad does he was just like man he shrugged his shoulders so all right you know our dog is 15 at this point at some point he's probably gonna go to a farm or dog college or wherever dogs go and I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering if it's gonna be a similar reaction and then I'm wondering after that at some point in life I might die I don't know I hope not but as I from my understanding it it's it's it's an inevitability and is it gonna be the same reaction oh where's dad he's I see Ollie is he mommy I see the snails I see the oh he's did he die and shrug his shoulders yeah oh it's not a natural reaction it's a weird reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know reaction anyway ah what are you gonna do so then you know gonna do so then you know really hot here yesterday it was it was tanVI tanVI 92 degrees which is warm for it's spring we kind of skipped spring went straight to summer and i uh i got the list out and i started looking at it and i was just like i uh i think today i'm going to uh watch tv and that's what i did i just watched i watched tv from the beginning of the day until the end of the day i got nothing done but i felt fine about it i felt great about it and and because you know what i do too much and if you do too much you run out of you and if you run out of you you what have you got then you've got nothing you've got the zip you've got you've got but but bupkis what's bupkis what's a bupkis i don't know but i know what you are you're the bumper podcast kateers and i know what i am i am natty bumper car and i know what this is this is a bumper podcast and again this is my favorite time of the day i hope it's your favorite time of the day you go and make all that magic happen why don't you make

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May 4, 2018
Bumperpodcast #320 – Tests

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

The world is being tested my the universe – which is being tested by the multiverse – which is on the head of a needle being used to crochet a macrame owl – and for the moment, Bumpercar is ready to ride the storm. Hang on, kittens!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In episode 320 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar reflects on surviving life's tests, particularly a rough week at headquarters. After a water sensor alerts him to flooding, Natty rushes home to discover two inches of water in his basement—triggering traumatic memories of a much worse flood from four years ago. The episode takes a comedic turn as Natty recounts his heartbreaking battle with an REI employee over a beloved torn jacket that fell just outside warranty coverage. He also shares college-era stories of creative problem-solving at a Wendy's salad bar and announces his upcoming stand-up comedy show where he'll perform a full hour of material. Throughout the episode, Natty's storytelling blends vulnerability with humor as he navigates basement disasters, retail disappointments, and the challenges of parenthood.

Memorable Quotes

“He put his hand on my shoulder and he said ma what's wrong with that what's wrong with that that's how he used to talk to me”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I'm not a missy elliott video from the aughts i'm not okay i want my jacket”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Daddy is kind of like peter rabbit but without the vest”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #flooding #homedisasters #parenting #retailexperiences #stand-upcomedy #collegestories #lifechallenges

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so this is a test this is a test i feel from the universe from everything around me from everything around you what am i talking about well do you feel like every so often uh something bad happens right and then inexplicably another bad thing happens and then another bad thing and then another bad thing to the point where they're all piling up on top of each other and you're like why is all this bad stuff happening at the same time and then you're like ah if you're self-aware enough that is you go ah this is a test i'm being tested for what i don't know how do you pass you muddle through for me here's what my week was this week we had a lot of rain up here at headquarters and uh i got an alert because i had installed a doodad in my basement a water sniffing doodad and i got an alert at 11 17 in the morning water water water water water in the basement so i ran home i got here at 11 44 so that's a difference of oh i don't know i don't know like 30 30 minutes 28 minutes i don't know i can't count 27 minutes i'm just guessing at this point but i got home as quick as i could two inches of water in the basement now anyone who's listening to the bumper podcast for years and years and years knows that we love our house but three weeks after we moved into our house we got two feet two feet of water in our basement which is insane that's a banana's amount of water that was four years ago still traumatized by it lost a lot of stuff my art studio was down here and um i still remember i was i was cleaning and cleaning and cleaning but then there was a point where i was so exhausted that i was sitting on on the stairs leading down to the basement head and hands and uh emerson who at that point would have been like four and that means that ollie would have been like one oh babies uh emerson came down and put his hand on my shoulder and he said ma what's wrong with that what's wrong with that's how he used to talk to me ma what's wrong with that what's wrong with that these you call me dad which is a sweet thing to call if you ever have hey if you're ever a kid and you want to go up to talk to your father call him dad it's a nice thing hey dad hey dad what are we doing dad i love you dad i can't stand you dad get out of my room dad uh and he put his hand and he said what's what's wrong dad are you sad and i just i was i was actually i was sobbing because i was so so so overwhelmed and so sad and i i just kind of put my hand on his hand and i said yeah buddy daddy is sad um but this time you know we got two inches away and we threw away so much stuff but this time uh you know you live you learn we had most stuff pretty higher up uh he lost a basket of clothes and by the time i got home i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die lost i mean i had to rewash them um and then there were some uh a lot of stuff is in those those those plastic bins uh but there were you know there were a few things got thrown away the issue is and i don't know how it didn't happen last time because we had so much more water um like it was so deep last time that when i was i was down here working in it it was it was almost to my knee like it's it's that's it's it was insane how much water there was um but this time you know you're walking around and you're walking around and you're walking around and you're walking around in it and using the wet back and everything and uh uh but it's now we did not have this last time have it this time the smell oh the smell which is bad because that it's a moldy smell and i do not want mold in my house because i have asthma and my kid has asthma and mold is bad so because especially i mean we have a the humidifier going dehumidifier i'm glad it's not a humidifier where um and we have some fans going but oh the smell it's brutal so yeah so that happened and then like uh maybe i'm gonna say a day or two after that i have a jacket it's from from a store called rei that i go to and i never buy anything because i can't afford it but i always look at the stuff and i'm like oh this stuff is neat look at all this neat stuff that they have and at some point someone uh gave me a membership to rei uh which i guess means you get special sales and deals and i don't really understand what it means but they always say are you a member and it's like a an exclusive club and so i feel like i'm like yeah i'm a member i'm a member i don't know what that means but i love being a member and and i got a jacket like a uh well it turns out it was one year and 17 days ago how do i know this because their uh warranty policy lasts for one year of course it doesn't last for one year and 17 days how do i know this well i went to zip my jacket up last week and the zipper caught the inside of the jacket and ripped the whole jacket and i was just like oh no no no no no no no no no my jacket i love my jacket my favorite little jacket and it was blue i love it and it was orange on the inside it was the best oh oh jacket and so i called the the phone number and i explained my situation and the the woman was just like oh well that's just not right that's just not right at all you need to take that check is there an rei near you and i was like yeah there's an rei dear me and she's like well you need to just take it over and tell them what you told me and it's gonna work it is gonna work out and i was like okay so i went to the store waited in line got to the front and i i made sure i didn't want to wear my jacket into the store because i wanted them to understand that this jacket was unwearable at this point and uh so i got to the front and i was just like hey blah blah blah here's my story here's the rip and they were like oh well do you are you a member and i was like yeah yeah yeah i'm a member and so then she looked me up and then she's like i found the purchase and i was like i knew you would and uh and and then she was like all right well let's uh figure out uh how to get you a replacement and i was like okay i need a replacement and so she uh starts looking through the computer and uh no they don't have my size they don't make it anymore all they have is 2xl and 6xl or something crazy like that and i was like i guess i could try the 2xl and she was like you can't and i was like please i want my jacket i want my jacket so i was like all right so she put you know the money back on my credit card but then i don't have a jacket and then i uh i'm wandering around the store and they don't have jackets because it's not jacket season anymore they've gotten rid of all their jackets and here's the thing i don't have a jacket i don't have a jacket i don't have anything with rei jackets most of them are like these poofy puffy things i don't like poofy puffy most of them also are shiny i don't want a shiny jacket i'm not a missy elliott video from the the aughts i'm not okay i want my jacket the reason i liked it because it wasn't shiny and it wasn't poofy puffy and and i went back to the register and i was like oh i don't i don't see anything right you know and my jacket was still there and she was like okay well you know you got your money back so you can just uh you know keep looking and maybe you'll find something soon i was like okay and then my hand landed i put my hand on my jacket and she and she starts she pulled it away she was like and you know it's like it's it's time it's gone he's he he didn't make it your jacket let me have your jacket and i was like no and she's like let me have i was like no so i wish that i uh you know what i should have done i should have camped out by the the garbage can and uh and been like i bet they're gonna throw my jacket away because then i could have gotten the money back and and worn a garbage jacket as well i would have done that i have no problem no problem at all i uh one time here's an old story that you know you've never heard before i was in college and um i'd gone spelunking which is i'd gone caving you go into a cave i'll tell you that story another day because it's terrifying and i'm don't want you to do it because it's a bad idea but i was in i think it was in north carolina or tennessee or south carolina or alabama or virginia i don't know where i was let's just i think that we should establish that i was somewhere in the south and i'm gonna say south carolina actually and uh and and and we we did this the caving spelunking and then we went to uh wendy's and at that time wendy's the restaurant had a salad bar it was all you can eat salad bar uh but i was not a man of means i had no money and i had some mud on me because i had been in the cave and um so we get there and i was just like ah i don't know what to do don't know what to do i looked over and their garbage can had kind of filled up uh a bit and on top of the garbage can so they had special trays that you would use or plates for the uh for the all you can eat salad bar and somebody had um they just put their tray and it had two plates uh from the salad bar right on top so it wasn't in the garbage but it was you know part of the garbage because it was on top of the garbage uh and they both plates were relatively clean so my friend and i who i was with at the time we looked at each other and we kind of shrugged and we're like yeah yeah should we should we yeah we should do this we should definitely do this we got some uh some napkins cleaned them up and then uh i think you know because we didn't want to be complete scalawags we went we bought some biggie drinks or something like that i wanted i would like a beverage please probably some tea because i do love tea and uh and then we proceeded to uh to eat from the uh all you can eat uh salad bar so those were different times in my life uh these are stories that i don't necessarily want my kids to hear or maybe i do i don't know i don't i do i not i don't i don't know because it's kind of like a hey you can make it if you try type of story but it's also like a ah daddy kind of swiped some salad so ah but then they saw that peter rabbit movie that recently came out and peter rabbit was all about swiping that salad so i guess if they ever called me on it i could be like daddy is kind of like peter rabbit but without the vest and they'd be like i see where you're i like what you're screaming here i like what you're saying so what else is going on i have a show this weekend this very weekend and i am doing an hour an hour of stand-up comedy that means i get to stand in front of people and talk to them for an hour and hopefully they will laugh for some portion of that uh it's by far the longest i've ever done i'm super excited i don't have any details on this show somebody was like where's it at and i was like i don't know what time you have to be there i don't know all i know is that it's saturday and uh i have i've been paid already which is nice and um and i do keep i keep emailing the people hey hey can you send me some details some deets i call them deets on this thing and they're like sure deets are coming i'm like cool it's it's it'd be great if they would be here now just so i can buy all that stuff away in my brain so i don't have to freak out about it quite as much uh and so that's this weekend i'm sure i'll tell you all about it next week and then uh last night i went to a show and i wasn't supposed to be on it i was supposed to help somebody with web stuff but two comedians didn't show up and so i got thrown up uh the second comic and it was a blast and it was in a bar and there were tvs on but it was still fun but not as fun as you

Unknown: you

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April 19, 2018
Bumperpodcast #318 – Spring

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

We are back, and feeling better, and ever-so-apologetic that we left you hanging for so ding-dang long!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after a three-week hiatus to reassure listeners he's doing much better. He shares a hilarious story about rescuing a rabbit stuck in his backyard soccer net just before Easter, with his kids convinced they'd caught the actual Easter bunny. Natty also updates listeners on his home renovation project—building a new bathroom complete with wainscoting and a pocket door—and discusses his recent comedy show experiences. He reflects on the differences between performing at rowdy venues versus city comedy clubs, revealing his preference for fast-paced, tangential humor over structured joke formats. The episode showcases Natty's signature storytelling style as he navigates family life, home improvement, and the comedy circuit.

Memorable Quotes

“While I'm doing this one of my children was like 'I'm so sorry Easter Bunny' and the other kid was screaming out 'I want Lego, I want Minecraft, you know I want a big chocolate bunny!'”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I don't take compliments well. Are you guys good at taking compliments? If somebody's like 'hey Bumperpodcasteer you're really good at listening to the Bumperpodcast' are you like 'ah I'm all right at it'?”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I was like bro maybe you should have asked him for a new soccer net because this one is now trashed.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #easter #rabbits #homeimprovement #comedy #stand-up #parenting #weather #animals

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: all right mental note to everyone who's starting a podcast uh from someone who's been doing it for a long long time and should know better do not record an episode uh about how sad you are and then inadvertently take three months three months three weeks off uh don't take three months off either because that's longer than three weeks because uh then people are gonna worry about you which is nice and they reach out and they want to see are you okay which is so sweet and i appreciate that and i am uh i've been so busy you guys and uh and and i'm not sad anymore i don't think maybe i'm a little bit sad but i'm not i'm much better and i think part of that has to do with spring considering happening uh it hasn't happened yet uh uh last weekend was easter sunday easter bunny came and uh and it was a gorgeous day beautiful day kids running around outside the next day six inches of snow what and then the next day after that fog fog so thick you couldn't see your hand in front of your face uh and then last night last night was the windiest night ever it's so we're living in uh some sort of crazy uh weather world where people just spin a wheel and it's just like oh now you're in a desert that's not weather is it you know uh but i gotta tell you a story here's a funny story speaking of easter we uh last week we had we was on a thursday the thursday before easter and you know every morning i let irving brown socks our uh resident border collie black lab i opened the back door there's a fenced in yard and i let him go out into the yard to do whatever he's gonna do i don't ask him what he does he just goes out there and does stuff and uh but when i opened the door i heard a commotion down on the edge of the of the deck and uh we have a groundhog who lives under our deck i don't know if it's the groundhog i don't know if he sees his shadow he's uh not very receptive to me trying to form a relationship with him a friendship uh but i definitely did not want the dog to go out because that is a kerfuffle that i did not feel like dealing with at that time so i grabbed the dog i said go back inside and i went to check to see what was going on what was the hubbub what was the commotion and i get to the edge of the deck and i look and it was not the groundhog in our soccer net we have like a one of those little soccer nets for the kids uh there was there was a bunny rabbit there was a giant i mean like he was really big too like he was all stretched out and end of tips of toes to tips of toes uh you know ears to nose everything he was probably like 14 inches like it was a pig it was big it was kind of intimidating large but he had gotten caught in this in the soccer net i guess his big idea was i'm gonna run through i'm gonna run through that net and it did not work out for him and uh so i was like oh no oh no oh no oh no okay trapped bunny so i went back inside and i was like hey guys we caught the easter bunny we got we got the easter bunny we got the easter bunny come check out he and they were like what because there has been some you know talk around around the house that oh easter bunny's not real easter bunny's nah easter bunny's not real and i'm like bro easter bunny's real and he's like easter bunny's not real i'm like you wrote him a letter asking for certain things he's real and uh and he's like so and so at school says he's not real says he's a fake and i was just like why are you gonna listen to that kid listen to me which is probably setting up you know some horrible thing in the future because there's a bunny trail there's a peter cottontail you know easter baskets how else am i getting easter baskets in my house i ask you uh anyway so i grabbed the kids we went outside they check out they were like oh my god it's easter bunny and i was like listen i don't know if that's the actual easter bunny or if he's just like a friend of the easter bunny if he's like uh if he's spying on us if he's taking notes to take back to the easter bunny and they were just like so i was like all right life lesson here's how we save this animal i went inside and i got some gloves and i got a towel and i got some scissors and uh so i go out and you know you you're gentle you'd calm you go up to the bunny and i put the towel over his head and i was kind of uh with my let me think left hand i just held him down right right there at his neck uh kind of on his head gentle little hold down and the right hand i had the scissors and i start to uh gently cut the net in between him and the net so that he can escape now while i'm doing this one of my children uh was like i'm so sorry easter bunny i'm so sorry and the other kid at the same time was screaming out he was just like so i want uh lego i want minecraft you know i want a big chocolate bunny and like he's just listing all the stuff that he wants to this poor rabbit and uh the rabbit he escapes he gets out he runs away and i was just like bro maybe you should have asked him for a new soccer net because this one is now trashed and he was just like oh good point good point uh uh so then we had easter easter bunny saved i'm a hero uh easter bunny saved and then uh then you know we had easter i just said that wow but we had 18 people at our house and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i don't know if i think i've talked about it i've been building a bathroom in my house like there's a room it's it's their toy room it's like the back room of the house and it used to be i think it might it used to be a uh a porch and they turned it into a closed-in room and that's where the toy room but i carved out a little bit of that and i and i had to build two walls i had to close up a wall on the window on the wall and all sorts of stuff but and i built a bathroom and i had the the electricians in the summers do their stuff because i don't have any time to learn that or to figure out how to do code stuff but and i put in tile and uh put in a chair rail and wainscoting and wainscotting i don't know how to say that and even the people at home depot don't know how to say it which is interesting wainscotting wainscoting i don't know you don't know who cares then uh and you know uh put in a pocket door so it's a little door that goes inside the wall and i had to put in a neat little handle for that uh and so uh the goal i had it all finished not finished i had it all in there by the time easter came so we had an extra bathroom and i put a coat of primer on it so it's all white but now i have to go back in and do some finish work a little bit of caulking a little bit of spackling a little bit of sanding uh but then it's gonna be done and i've died and then it's done there's so much pressure off it that was one of the things so much pressure pressure pressure pressure um and i think what else i've been doing a lot of shows it's another reason i've been so tired because i've been doing so many shows which is awesome it's phenomenal it's great it makes me happy and then people are like you're doing so good at the shows and i'm like ah thanks i don't take compliments well i'm not good are you guys good at taking compliments if somebody's like hey bumper podcast kateer you're for not you're really good at listening to the bumper podcast do you think are you like ah i'm all right at it i don't know i try i mean i try to listen i i do i do a lot of things i do a lot of things i do a lot of things all right that's how i was at the shows i was like ah thanks i said words that's what i always say i said some words i said i said them in order some of them some of them i said too fast and they weren't in order and they didn't understand them that's fine um but route i've had rowdy crowds and i've done well with the rowdy crowds uh because i move quick here's something that i i don't know if i'm learning i'm trying to figure out what i'm learning uh but if you have structured jokes a structured joke is set up and then punchline so uh set up punchline uh uh why did the uh oh yeah why did the pony go to the doctor that's your setup why did the pony go to the doctor because he was a little horse that's your punchline it's it's terrible i get it but why did the pony go to the doctor because he was a little horse uh so those kind of jokes sometimes the crowd is rowdy they're they don't want to listen they're like we don't care about your your funny little story so what i end up doing is just like exploding on them and just like this thing oh that thing crazy thing and moving really fast and quick which sometimes you're not going to get sustained laughter you're not going to get it like all the way through but you're going to get like pockets of laughter and bursts of laughter uh they're like what is happening this is crazy this guy is crazy like that and uh but it's been working and then i can still dip into material if i need to and um it's fun i've had a lot of fun now the weird thing is is is that's how i used to do stand-up was just this tangential just hitting everything i could as quick as i could uh and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna do this and i used to not give any any room for laughs i figured out that uh they're since they're supposed to laugh that i i pause every so often and i do let them laugh and then and then i'll go into material but the thing is is that that's working at elks lodge and vfws in pennsylvania and new jersey and delaware and all these places over here uh but if you go into into the city it's a different animal entirely because they don't really care so much about i mean they want hey you got you know seven minutes four minutes whatever five seven uh and they want you to be like boom joke boom joke boom joke boom joke and they want you to prove that you can do that and then i think they maybe will take the uh reins off a little bit and let you play around a little bit but it's it's that hitting that sweet spot because for me i don't enjoy doing uh boom joke boom joke boom joke it doesn't work well with my brain it never has uh and so it's it's something i gotta kind of rectify and figure out but i'm having fun so i gotta keep doing it right doing a bumper podcast talking you guys i've been drawing flyers for comedy shows have you seen them i don't know how i don't know i'll figure out how to link to them but uh i've done like i don't know one seven maybe like eight or something at this point where people like hi they're like hey we're gonna give you money and you're going to draw things and i'm like yes you're gonna give me money and then i'm like all right cool and then they don't even they're just like they don't tell me what to draw they just let me draw anything and they put the flyer information on it and then it comes out you know something ridiculous like i had one there were these two comedians and there was a guy sitting on an eagle jousting another guy who was sitting on a kitten like it's how much fun is that it's great and then uh for the elk slot there was uh i drew an elk on this on stage telling a joke and then uh two elks at the table making fun of that elk and then the comedians i drew their little heads like mounted on the wall and it was so it's like this is what i this is this is what i want to do i just want to do more of it and i want to uh sleep sometimes too one of the children got up at 5 15 today not nice child not nice at all anyway bumper podcast i'm sorry i left you saying that i was sad i'm happier now it's better now the world's a good place and you're awesome and it's even better because you're in it so hugs and hearts you

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April 5, 2018
Bumperpodcast #315 – Headaches

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Oh no! We are all full of headaches, and it isn’t very fun. But – you know what is fun? Our little ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.

To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)

Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself discombobulated after someone mysteriously steals his chair, forcing him to stand while recording. He discusses the challenges of shoveling giant snowflakes and shares a harrowing personal story about migraines affecting both himself and his son. Natty recounts an emergency room visit with his son and his own intense migraine experience that left him incapacitated for an entire day. Despite the pain, he reflects on the realities of parenting and how parents put their children's needs first. The episode offers both humor and genuine vulnerability as Natty navigates family health challenges while maintaining his signature comedic perspective.

Memorable Quotes

“Here's the thing with snowflakes so once they fall they're pretty much just like i'm just gonna stay here bro and you're like oh sorry bro but i need you to leave bro and they're like sorry bro but i'm here bro.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“When you have kids you're not even priority number you're not one you're probably not two you're probably not three you're as long as you can stand and blink your eyes then that's what you get.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“He was like i'm available friday night if you need to go to the hospital. That's very sweet like that he's scheduling his time out.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #parenting #health #migraines #winter #familylife #hospitalvisits #comedy

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: completely and totally discombobulated that is how i am today hello bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and why am i so flummoxed well somebody took my chair that's i'm just gonna put it out there i don't know who it was i'm not gonna point any fingers i'm not gonna like name names but my chair is gone i'm now i'm currently i'm standing and i'm talking into the microphone which is fine i feel like it's giving me a little bit of a different energy i feel like this is kind of a slightly different whoa this dude's just standing up while doing a podcast what is this stand up podcast come what i don't know stand up comp pod podmody comedy we ha wait a minute why don't we make a word we'll squish together comedy and podcasts com com comcast wait that's that's a company uh podmody it doesn't sound good it's that's you know what i'm gonna need your help with this because i can't figure out a good way i'm usually pretty good at making these uh these mashup words pod com anyway what else is going on well it's snowing outside right now those and it's those snowflakes that are so big like giant enormous snowflakes and they're kind of beautiful to look at because they fall really slowly i can see them out of my window but i'd rather they not happen because i have to then go out and gently ask them to leave my sidewalk and my uh driveway so that i can leave so that people don't fall and uh and ask me for money um here's the thing with snowflakes so once they fall they're pretty much just like i'm just gonna stay here bro and you're like oh sorry bro but i need you to leave bro and they're like sorry bro but i'm here bro and you're like bro and they're like bro it's a good conversation but they don't they don't move so then you got to get a broom or uh you got to get a shovel do you do any have you any any have you ever shoveled snow it's not fun it hurts it hurts your back me my lower back my my especially uh i've seen people if it's a dry snow they'll go out with a uh a leaf blower and they'll blow the stuff off i i'm not skilled enough to do that i don't think um so that's happening more importantly we've been struck by dun dun dun migraines really yeah poor m he's been having headaches and to the point where we uh we went to uh the emergency room we went to the doctor last week and then friday we ended up at the emergency room when we were there for so long hey guys if you ever noticed when you go to the hospital time seems to go slower yes yes i have um and he had to get a shot and here's the thing the doctor was just like how much does it hurt and he was like it hurts a lot and they were like well does it how much does it hurt enough we could fix it but we need to give you a shot so you can either you know whatever or we can give you a shot he's like give me the shot and i was like whoa the kid's asking for a shot that that means serious business is happening but that you know we got some uh some uh prescription stuff and he's been taking it and it seems to get better but then it comes back and it's back and it's back and it's back poor kid i feel terrible for him and then randomly uh monday night uh i so sometimes here's the thing guys a little bit about me i get migraines too not all the time but sometimes they run in my family uh which is great um it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and it's a wonderful thing to pass down to people and i was like oh my head hurts a little bit and then this is when i got uh m and then by the time i got to ollie's school i was like oh no i'm in big trouble here this is not gonna be pleasant right and by the time i got into ollie's school so that was in the parking lot then by the time i got into the school i was just like the pain the pain is down oh i can't like i couldn't move it could hurt to move it hurt to breathe it hurt to my eyes everything and so i had to have the teacher help him put his jacket i was just like help him jacket please and then i got got him and i held his little hand i got him to the car and i had to sit there for a solid two minutes eyes shut like palms pushing against eyes to uh right myself so that i could then uh drive back home uh it was it was it was not a pleasant experience by the time i got home luckily and randomly my wife had left her car and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die and so she uh she was in the driveway and so i was just like help children me and so she's like go upstairs and that's where i was for the rest of the night it was but it was the most pain it was so much it was phenomenal how much pain i was in and um you know what i i'm gonna tell you i i don't this is fun i'm gonna tell you about it uh as soon as we get a word from our sponsor and now a quick word from one of our sponsors i'm so busy but luckily i discovered picnic it is an organizational app for my family i can enter events into a shared calendars we have to-do lists shopping lists and even recipes so you should totally go do it go get organized just go to picnic.com slash get started to set up your account and use promo code pod pick for 30 days of picnic premium for free that's picnic p-i-c-n-i-i-c.com slash get started and promo code pod pick so go and get organized today now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the bumper podcast good luck you're probably going to need it yay so picnic thank you again so much and real quick i wanted to say so we have been using picnic that was just a little commercial but uh sponsored by whatever but the thing is it's changed my life as far as i can put all my shows into it i put everything in there right but it's a little bit because now my wife looks at the calendar which is now a shared calendar so she can see and she's like oh you're you got a lot of you've got a lot of shows coming up you you're not you're gonna be gone a lot and i'm like i know it's great right and she's like and i'm like oh what picnic oh so you know but then it's also like if somebody's like hey do you guys want to have go to this birthday party on this day i'm like one second please and i go and i go to the party and i'm like wait i'm going to meet my friends there and i'm like why didn't I maybe i was going to the party because something's there so whatever it's great i love it i love it i love it we haven't done shopping lists yet because we're not that organized in life but maybe at some point we will morph into our next forms and uh our super saiyan organized forms and we can we can utilize that um and then once the kids have phones maybe we use it because you can whatever it's great try it if you have if you if you have kids especially do it because otherwise you'll go crazy um so So here's something this is me. This is me being fun at a party. So back to my headache It was it was really cool In a horrible way because I was in so much pain that I I was telling someone I was having like this out-of-body experience where I Was kind of I was it was we this is my it was my business how my brain was coping with it It was my brain was looking at my body and it was trying to It was me it was like visually trying to move things around to make it stop and like I they were like I would see like these little pegs and and my body my brain would push a peg Which and it was like and this is what was happening and then like sometimes and not even joking They would push a button or pull a lever or whatever and then there would be like an explosion of more pain And so it was like my body was playing this game To try to fix it or whatever it was brutal and You know all through the night It was kind of off and on and I'm up and I'm down and I got up late in the night at some point And had a bowl of cereal because I was also it made me kind of nauseous and my tummy hurt But I was just like I think I have to eat some sort of food or else. This is just gonna Exacerbate the situation make it worse. So I had the cereal And and yeah, whatever I woke up the next morning and it was still there, but it was dull and it was kind of over to the side So, you know, we we move on and move on but it was it was like losing an entire day It was how it was how it felt like by the time Tuesday rolled around I was you know, it's like what Pat? What was that? I don't want I would rather not have that anymore. Have you guys ever had these things there? It's yuck yuck It's a straight one-way ticket to yuck town. So don't do them So with poor M we got to go we got to get he's got to get an MRI And I was thinking I was like, can I sit next to him in the MRI maybe cuz I my brain is hurting too they said no and then he's got a Visit with a neurologist too. So I mean it's so funny when you have kids like I'm having the same stuff He's having I would go so far as to say worse, but it's not a competition competition but you take care of the kid and you know if you can still stand if you can still get from point a to point b then hey guess what dada mama you're just deal with it you got to deal with it so much like that's when you have kids you're not even priority number you're not one you're probably not two you're probably not three you're as long as you can stand and blink your eyes and uh sign the homework's done form or whatever then then that's that's what that's what you get so and i mean it's it's fun it's fun barely existing no but you know it's he uh emerson did come in that night uh on monday and he he you know he had been to the hospital on friday and he was like hey and i was like i couldn't even talk i was just like you and he was just like i'm available uh friday night friday night if you need to go to the hospital i'm i'm available and it was i was like that's very sweet like that he's scheduling his time out you know that he's not like um tuesday wednesday i'm pretty slammed but it looks like friday i do have an opening if you need to go to the hospital dada and uh the next morning ollie uh ollie was up first and so i went downstairs is this like oh that's so that's that's why you guys are the priority okay because when i get really old i'm gonna need to make sure that you you know spare your fridays to take me to that to the hospital or to the doctor and uh and give me sweet hugs so all right that is this has been your headache update episode of the bumper podcast i hope it didn't give you a headache aha a waka a waka waka uh but anyway thank you so much for listening have a great day watch out for the snow and you know as always you gots to do it

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February 9, 2018
Bumperpodcast #311 – A story about Santa…

Sorry that I’ve been gone. I’ve missed you.

I hope this story about Santa makes up for it. (I cry a bit towards the end…)

Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In this heartfelt holiday episode, Natty Bumpercar shares a deeply personal story about his seven-year tradition of playing Santa Claus at his children's daycare. After apologizing for his absence following the big Thanksgiving episode, Natty opens up about the emotional final year of this beloved tradition, as his youngest son Oliver prepares to move on to kindergarten. He describes the elaborate lengths he goes to maintain the magic, including shaving his beard and adopting a special voice to avoid detection by his own children. The episode takes an emotional turn as Natty reflects on watching the kids grow up and the bittersweet nature of keeping childhood wonder alive, culminating in a touching moment when Oliver almost recognizes his father behind the Santa suit.

Memorable Quotes

“It's my favorite day of the year by far, by far my favorite day because I get nerves, I get kind of terrified just because every year when they get older, I'm just like, all right, I got to really amp up the show.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“You have kids and you're watching them grow up and they're getting older and it's just like, ah. Where's my little baby? Oh, and I'm crying. I'm full of crying.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Oliver goes, oh, dad, Santa sounded a little bit like you. And I was like, no.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #santaclaus #parenting #christmas #childhoodmagic #familytraditions #growingup #holidays

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car did you forget my name did you forget who i am did you forget about me i got so exhausted after the big turkey episode that i just kind of crawled into my hole and i put a little blanket on and i made sure that i had my socks on because i didn't want my feet to get cold because if my feet are cold then i'm probably gonna catch some sort of a cold wait a minute i'm gonna catch a cold from my feet being cold sure that's fine uh but i've been gone for a long time and i apologize it's just a lot of life going on um just to give you a super quick update we passed inspection for electric and for plumbing and for build on the bathroom that i'm building hooray bumper car and um you know the kids have been kind of in and out of school because of holiday stuff and we've been going to parties and holiday parties and birthday parties and parties Parties and parties and parties and family parties and all sorts of stuff. And it's just been really busy. And shows, so many shows. So it's been good. It's been great. But I've missed you. I always miss you when I don't talk to you. I get kind of freaked out. Kind of about freaked out how freaked I am that I don't know currently. Pig is hiding from me, as he does sometimes. And that freaks me out. You know this. But more importantly, all that being said, here's a story that I want to tell you today. And it's a super, super, super, super awesome story to me. And I wanted to record it. And I'm thinking that my kids probably won't listen to it. And I'll give you a little warning that your kids, I don't know if they want to listen to it. It's about Santa Claus. And basically, you know, obviously Santa Claus is real. Correct? We know this. Right? Yes. But. But for the last seven years at my kids' school, at their daycare, first for Emerson and then for Oliver, when Emerson went to kindergarten and then Oliver went there, every year they have a big Christmas party, a huge Christmas party. And one year they said, it was like the first year I was there, they were like, hey, do you want to be Santa Claus at our party? Do you want to? We have a costume. You can dress up. You can be Santa Claus. And I was like, yeah, I've never considered doing that, but I would love to do it. Right. And so I got the costume and the first year I was, I was like, you know, whatever. This is fun. But they were like tiny babies. And so I just put on a little show, put on a big voice and everything. And, um, and then, and then as the years went on and the kids were getting older, I would get a little bit more freaked out that I was like, oh no, I, I don't want them to figure out it's me. I don't want the kids to know that. I'm playing the part of Santa Claus today, not the real Santa Claus, like a Santa Claus helper. And, um, and so I, I would have them put makeup on me or I would do this thing where I would actually shave my beard. I have a beard usually. And on this day, this is the day of the year that I shave it all off. And the reason I do it is so that when I pick the kids up, when they see me, I'm hoping for some sort of like a cognitive dissonance, like, like, whoa, daddy looks different. So that. If there's any thought that I'm Santa Claus playing Santa Claus, that they won't realize it. Right. So that's my logic there. Uh, the first time I did it, I think it was like, Emerson was just like, nope, I don't, I do not know who that man is. I am not going to go over to that man. I do not know. I'm not familiar with whoever this person is. And I would talk to him. I was like, Hey, it's me, dad. And he was just like, ah, I don't know. Nah, nah. But anyway, and Oliver, I think just cried, which is, you know, this happens, but so I would go through these links. To try to make sure that I was putting on as good of a, uh, ruse as I could. And then they started, they would put like blush on me and they would put the head, like eyeliner pencils. So they would get rid of my eye, my eyebrows, whatever. And the voice that I would put on was kind of like this. It was a little bit like I was trying to do a Sean Connery, but someone yesterday said I was a little bit like David Attenborough. So it's a little bit. British and they actually at the daycare, they thought it was hilarious. They were like, oh, you sound like you're from England. And I was just like, all right, I'll take it. I don't mind. And then somebody was just like, oh, you sound like Mrs. Doubtfire. And I was just like, that's completely different. Cause that's like, which is like, there's high pitched and I was not doing any high pitch things as all, uh, but anyway, and I would sing songs and ho, ho, ho, ho. You understand my soul thing. So every year I would do it. And it's my favorite day of the year by far, by far my favorite day because I get nerves, I get, uh, kind of terrified just because every year when they get older, I'm just like, all right, I got to really amp up the show and, and, and just like seeing the kids and we have pictures of Oliver and I think of Emerson too. I need to find them sitting in my lap, like looking at me, not knowing it's their dad. And it's just like, ah, it's heartbreaking. So yesterday was the last time that I'm going to get to do it because Oliver's going to kindergarten next year and you know, it's the, I mean, the people at the daycare, they're kind of freaked out too. I'm super freaked out, but they're kind of freaked out because they're like, oh, we got to find a new Santa. And I'm like, oh, my heart's breaking. Um, but yesterday I went in and I did it. And, um, I, I, I get very, I get, I cry sometimes, but yesterday I managed not to cry. Uh, I went in and I did it and it was great and it didn't hit me until, so after I'm in the room with all the kids, probably like 70 people or so, I don't know. And you're talking and you're doing all the different classes and you're taking all the different pictures and I'm asking them what they want for Christmas. And I have the teachers write the kids names and the names if they have elves at home so that I can kind of call it out and be like, oh, you know, Adrian, how are you doing over there? Whatever, blah, blah, blah. And how is sprinkles your elf? And they're like, oh man, this dude knows my elf. Like this is, how's this happening? Or if I know parents' names, I'll throw parents' names. And I did that a couple of times yesterday too. Um, just, you know, anything to create a connection with a kid. Cause it just like, it kind of deepens the magic of the whole thing to my, to my mind. And so it was, it was great. And we sang songs and I tell silly little jokes. Um, and it's a lot of call and response and a lot, I mean, there's a lot of screaming, uh, a lot of excitement, a lot of screaming from tears. Also kids get freaked out by Santa. And then I have to shut it down a little bit and say, oh, it's okay, dear. You're perfectly fine. It's going to be Santa's here to say hello to you. I didn't mean to scare you or whatever, stuff like that. And, um, so then I go around to each of each room individually say goodbye, babies. Thank you for having me. Bye one or twos threes. And at the threes was where it started. It hit me because they gave me a bag of candy canes, like a stocking full of candy canes. And so I took a class picture. I thanked them. I got them all to stand in a line. And then I was giving out the candy canes and individually one by one by one. And they would say, thank you, Santa. Thank you, Santa. And it's, oh, it's getting me now. And just so much, so many emotions and so much joy. But. Sadness. And it's, oh, now I'm getting sad. OK, hold on. Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. It's my favorite day. So I think, you know, then I got over to Ali's room and the kids are a little bit bigger and they, you know, they're they're they're sweet and they they they're much more rambunctious because, you know, they're almost they're almost kindergartners. And I think that's part of it, too, is you have kids and you're watching them grow up and they're getting older and it's just like, ah. Where's my little baby? Oh, and I'm crying. I'm full of crying. But it's just. And so when when I was talking to Ali, he was in my lap and took the picture with him and then I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. And he said a remote control dinosaur, no, a remote control dragon, which it's it's December 21st at that point. Never have I heard him mention a remote control dragon, but that's fine. We'll figure that out. But as he was walking away. I said, I said, I said, hello, you know, Oliver, I want you to make sure you have a brother. Correct. And he was just like, yeah. And I was like, his name is is Emerson J. Emerson. Is that right? And he was like, yeah. I was like, I want you to tell him that I'm keeping an extra special eye on him. And I did like a little thing. And I and I then I mentioned Elf. I was just like, and and also your your elf, Elfie the snow monster. He's a he's a he's one of my favorite elves. He does a great job every year. Just tell him I said hello or whatever. And he was totally freaked out. Right. And it wasn't until so I was walking out to the car and the women who run the daycare, I was like, oh, my gosh, you almost had emotions. And they're like, stop. And then I got in the car and I put on Christmas music, waterworks, bawling tears. Right. I picked the kids up and Emerson Oliver's telling Emerson that Santa was asking about. And then all he goes a few minutes later, he goes, oh, dad, Santa sounded a little bit like you. And I was like, no. And Emerson was like, you have a Santa suit. And I was like, no, I don't have a Santa suit. He was like, yes, you do. And I was like, I do not have a Santa suit, because at that point I didn't. I had returned it. But it was I guess we came close. I guess we ended it at the right time. But seriously, I love it. And I love you guys. Happy holidays from the Bumper podcast.

Unknown: Happy holidays from the Bumper podcast.

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December 22, 2017