Tag: parenting

Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper pod casketeers my favorite people in the whole wide world hi there guys how's it going it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast and today we're gonna talk about being tired being so very tired one of my four children had three nightmares last night it was like a christmas carol but in the middle of uh march he had he had one one and he but he couldn't remember his his nightmares have you ever had nightmares before man i have and they can be so scary after he had his nightmares and i finally got to sleep um i didn't have a nightmare but i had a fun dream which is it's weird for me to say it's a fun dream but i went to a grocery store and i had a fun dream and i had a fun dream and grocery store with a couple of friends of mine and we walked around and we ate samples i mean it doesn't sound like a lot of fun i understand that but for me at the moment it seemed like the best kind of fun um i had this i had this a little uh a little pastry a little flaky pastry with some kind of cheese in it oh it was so good i had um a piece of steak they gave me a piece of steak at the sample booth i've never i've never had steak at a sample booth what kind of magical dreamlike store is this i don't know but when i was asking him about his dreams he couldn't remember all he remembered is that he was sad and scared and and it made me sad and so i i came into his bed and uh i i laid down so what we do is because he has you know a tiny little bed is his head's on one end then my head's on the other and then our feet are going in the opposite direction and that's just so we have you know a little bit a little bit of room right to to try to get back to sleep and then i take my my left hand and i kind of laid it down over his uh onto his legs and just kind of patted him just saying it'll be okay buddy it'll be okay it'll be okay and he calmed down and you know before we even he came into the room and got us and uh i gave him a big hug big tight bear and i said are you okay what's the matter are you gonna be you're gonna be okay you know daddy's here mommy's here we're we're here everyone is here and he said okay because he was very tired also it was the middle of the night when this happened and like like 2 33 in the morning that's very very early or late i guess it's it's this is a uh is your glass half full or half empty kind of it was very middle of the night we'll say that and so i got him back into bed and uh he actually he wanted a little a cup of water and then he used the restroom and then we got back into bed and i i patted his legs and i said it's going to be okay it's going to be okay now i have a theory and you can tell me what you think about this theory but i have a theory and my theory is if you're in uh if you have some sort of sort of stress some sort of tumult some sort of uh rough times during the day maybe that sometimes your brain doesn't want to deal with that rough stuff that stress at that moment and so your brain stores it all into a folder back in the back of your brain right into the your storage and then when you lay down the night crew comes in and uh takes over from the day shift they said hey see you later and they're like hey night shift we'll see you later and the night shift comes in and they've got this stack of folders you know from the day they're like okay we got to process all this stuff that happened during the day you know they start going through the folders oh look this we played kickball it's a little let's have a little kickball dream even if it's just a tiny dream oh this folder is very heavy and very dark and very oh well let's open it oh my goodness there's a lot of stress this child was worried about something oh what what in the world maybe it's that you have a test coming up maybe it's that somebody said something mean to you maybe your dog ate your ball or something like that you know all that stuff goes into your folder your sad scared worried angry folder whatever and then when this night crew opens it they're like whoa whoa whoa whoa we didn't deal with any of that stuff today you know what let's just throw it all against the board and see what happens what happens the dream board as it were and then you get to deal with whatever i guess comes from there so your brain hasn't dealt with whatever issues you had during the day you've internalized everything you've taken all your emotions and you've squished them squished them squished them squished them squished them squished them down into you and then at night they're like oh i gotta get out of here and then and then maybe you might you might have little nightmares which is sad right but understandable also you have a lot going on everybody's got a lot going on in their day in their minds not just like the normal stuff but maybe your schedule has been uh shifted around maybe things are a little bit different than they used to be and even just different can be enough to to to make you worried about things or uh to get you anxious or to get you angry and and you know if if you're too tired or whatever to or you're too busy to deal with uh that anxiety that that anxiousness that anger then you it all goes into that folder the night crew doesn't know what to do with it they just open it up and then boom bam boom whatever happens happens right i think that maybe a better way for the day crew to deal with this stuff is to label the folders right and so then the night crew's not coming into this blind the maybe we're gonna have uh you can even color code it right maybe blue for happy uh red for angry yellow for sad uh uh green maybe for worry i don't know purple you know like purple for silly makes sense right uh and then so then you can put all your your thoughts from the day into these folders and so then when they're done they're going to be in the folder the night crew comes along they can they can look at it and they can go okay you know what let's let's this looks like this uh angry folder sad folder is pretty thick tonight let's how about let's work through these other ones we're gonna leave this one here for the uh for the day crew or maybe we'll just take a little bit out of of that one and we can spread it in with the other stuff just to try to minimize the impact of the bad stuff because you know if the folders aren't labeled they don't have any idea what's in them and they're just gonna open it up and then wham bam you got a crazy dream man right which it it's bad because then if you have crazy dreams that keep you up at night then the next day you're tired right and that just means you're almost set up for more rough stuff to happen which is just going to keep filling up that bad folder which is just going to keep on making you anxious and making you worried and making you upset and without some sort of labeling system i'm telling you it's just going to become a spiral it's just going to keep happening it's going to come around going to keep coming around it's like a trolley car here it comes boom here it comes boom here it comes so we need to talk to the manager whoever is managing your brain i'm assuming it's you and we need to figure out uh a way to set up a good system for your uh daily activities your thoughts your feelings your emotions to be more properly labeled so that the night crew isn't coming in blind um and then from there i i can only see good things happening i can only imagine that uh things are gonna get better and better maybe not here's the thing too if we're going to transition to a whole new um system then there's going to be some bumps in the road there's gonna be some confusion there might even be some mislabeling which could lead to just oh who knows like let's let's say you have uh you're really really really really really really really angry about something and that ends up in the pink folder and they open up the pink folder expecting you know what i don't know bubble gum and rainbows and good times and then all of a sudden this angry thing in the oh it's just gonna that's gonna be we're gonna have to write up a report for that okay that's gonna have to be looked at we're gonna have to figure out where where where in the chain of command and here no one's gonna get into trouble because this is a brand new system and we're not the kind of company that's gonna you know point at people and say you did this but we are going to try to figure out how to make it better and how to not have that happen again okay so let's work on that i think it's become very important in my day trying to establish uh structures trying to establish uh a good foundation so like when i we've been putting up uh lists in the house so um when you wake up and there's like a nice piece of paper and it says um uh go potty brush your teeth make your bed right and then you know then go downstairs have some breakfast relax and then we'll start the day right and that even just like adding little things like that little constants are good for your brain because if your brain knows where it has to go it doesn't have to wake up and then think like what am i gonna do now it's like oh i'm just gonna go potty i'm gonna brush my teeth i'm gonna make my bed boom boom boom boom boom and then every day you get into a rhythm and the rhythm and the rhythm and it's gonna make you feel a little bit better i think that's my theory now there's variables right let's say you have uh lunch time on there and then you have go outside and play and it's raining well then we're gonna have to shift gears gotta be flexible too that's the thing when you have a system you don't want it to be a rigid system right a rigid system means it's not flexible you want to have it so that it can bend a little bit so it can so you can do other things too and and that allows you for the freedom to to move around a little bit right to be spontaneous it's spontaneous you know what that means it it means uh hey you're supposed to do this thing hey but do you want to do this thing and you're like yeah i'd love to do that thing you know if it was a rigid system you wouldn't be able to you'd be stuck doing the first thing but if we're a little bit flexible hey be spontaneous go do this other thing that's okay do you do what you want that's go have some fun loosen up live a little bit right within certain boundaries within certain you know structures it's all about structures um what i like about structures is kind of what i was saying it helps me to know what i'm supposed to do and then i can choose if i want to do it or not which is what i think you should do because you're awesome okay

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