Tag: nostalgia

Bumperpodcast #465 – Season 3 – Tomato Soup Can

Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.”

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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About This Episode

In episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality.

Memorable Quotes

“What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's

Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's

Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all

Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again

Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um

Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that

Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect

Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing

Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a

Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir

Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.

Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Unknown: Bye.

December 2, 2025
Bumperpodcast #449 – Season 3 – The end?

In this episode, Natty Bumpercar is woken up by Santa Claus. You won’t want to miss this episode of the Bumperpodcast as it may be the last…

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About This Episode

In episode 449, Natty Bumpercar wakes up from a months-long sleep at his desk to discover everything has changed. Santa visits to deliver some shocking news: Producer now has a successful morning show and seven tadpoles, Aloysius J. Pig is touring with his one-man show called "The Swine and I," and Rufus T. Rufus is in jail. As Natty processes missing the big 450th episode celebration he had planned, he grapples with feelings of abandonment and the realization that his grand plans for interviews and show expansion led to complete burnout. This melancholic yet absurdly funny episode finds Natty covered in dust, missing Turkey's Thanksgiving visit, and spiraling over the lack of background music.

Memorable Quotes

“I get so much momentum in my brain. Brain momentum, I'll call it. Brain-mentum is not what I'm going to call it. And then everything just shuts down.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I'm so sorry to tell you this nutty… producer is now actually producing a monday through friday morning show, he's married, he has several children. Several yes, it's well you know it's only been a couple of months but frogs they you know it's all very fast.”
— Santa

“I don't like it when there's no background music. That's really starting to freak me out. More so even than the months of no episodes.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #burnout #friendship #thanksgiving #podcasting #lifechanges #nostalgia #planningvsreality

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Santa, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: nat natty yeah natty are you natty wake up natty wake up natty yeah i santa i was i was asleep i i don't what day is it i don't even i don't even know yes it's it's towards the end of

Santa: november and from the looks of it you've got a covering of dust oh you've been here for quite

Natty Bumpercar: some time i i don't understand the last thing i remember i was i was here i was reporting the uh bumper podcast and we were um about to have our big 450th episode and yes and i was so excited because i had all these cool things that i wanted

Santa: to do and i was so excited because i had all these cool things that i wanted to do and i to do and and i was gonna have a a theme song and we were gonna have like interviews and um maybe an intern and the the numbers people were listening and it was great all over the world yes i i'm so sorry to tell you this nutty i i apologize i feel like i should have almost just left you sleeping but i think you overwhelmed yourself a bit and probably just fell asleep but that doesn't i was no i was we were making so much progress and now there's there's not even music in the background and there's nobody else here where's producer where's aloesius where's rufus his name is rufus yeah yeah rufus rufus that's his name i i oh i forgot his name it's it's been quite a long time and i i'm sorry to say this but producer is is now actually producing a monday through friday morning show oh um it's both televised as well as simulcast on the radio and he's doing good for him he's doing very well he's married he has several children several yes it's well you know it's only been a couple of months but frogs they you know it's all very fast and aloesius he's he's decided to go back on tour with his one-man show it's uh something called the swine and i oh and uh rufus is great well i feel terrible telling you this but rufus is in jail oh well okay yes i think we all knew that it was going to happen sooner or later okay well i guess huh things make more sense i mean i'm thrilled for producer he has a family he's doing i guess he's still producing so he's doing what he always wanted to do and uh aloesius you know he always loved to travel and he had a story and he wanted to get it out in front of people and i'm happy for him but i'm i mean i'm gonna miss those guys and rufus well if i'm to be honest i guess i'm just glad that he's physically okay even well even if he's in jail um he's not great you know it's he he he lived a tough life rufus and uh i guess it finally caught up to him and he's still alive i guess i'm you know i need i don't know what i don't even know what my next steps are i guess i need to get in touch with rufus to see why he's in jail you don't want to know it's terrible okay yes ah perhaps it's it's horrid yeah i can't even repeat it i don't want to i don't want to hear no um and producer i guess i mean i got a lot of work to do i got a lot of work to do i got a lot of work to do i got a lot of to reach out to all of these these guys you really should i guess i got to send him some some baby presents tadpole yes tadpoles yes tadpole okay yes tadpole presents how many tadpoles how many baby frogs tadpoles i lost baby tadpoles does he have seven i think who's his wife the name is patricia

Natty Bumpercar: and producer and who's who's directing pig's show like how do i even get in touch with him

Santa: i don't i feel like i've lost everything yes it does feel that way and as i was saying you should probably start off by bathing you've been laying here on this desk filthy it's a whole room just needs to be fumigated there should be some windows that are opened the door certainly and yes let's get yourself together before you go reaching out and potentially ruining the lives of well two of them one of them already kind of ruined his own life uh but yes i think that's going to be my recommendation okay that's a good recommendation but i so i'm wondering i mean so i guess this is like the 449th episode of the bumper podcast um which is crazy there i i was looking at it before i guess when i got overwhelmed and not very many podcasts get to this many episodes um especially you know with no one listening and um as far as listening you know i guess we started doing this for a while this like 14 years ago and we're at like 98 000 listens 98 000 that's instead blows my mind why anyone would listen to this that long and and that's why i was so excited to like really like we're gonna step it up a level and and it was the interviews that were gonna be pig interviews which i don't know if you even remember but we used to do pig interviews and he would go out and interview people and we were like oh my god this is so awesome and i'm like oh my god this is We were going to, like, double the length of the show. And then there was going to be, like, whole other just pig interview shows, which, I mean, like, there were plans being made. And, you know, sometimes I get myself so worked up and so excited with these ideas. And then what ends up happening is I just stop. Like, I get so much momentum in my brain. Brain momentum, I'll call it. Brain-mentum is not what I'm going to call it. And then everything just shuts down. And I guess even I just shut down. And I kind of can't believe that they all just left me here asleep on the desk in the studio and all by myself for months. Like, do you even know when the last episode was? Like, I'm looking at the calendar. It says. August. That can't be possible. That's, like, two months ago. Is that how long I've been asleep? God, this dust is terrible. It's making me cough. I'm going to make an admission here, Natty. Yeah? I haven't listened to the show in years. So I don't. But it's just news to me that it's been going on so long. There's so many episodes. Everything. And, you know, as to your friends leaving you, I would argue that perhaps, maybe, potentially, possibly, you actually left them first by falling asleep here at your desk. Oh, okay. I mean, you're not right. I did fall asleep. And, you know, I guess they could have just. . . They could have just tapped me on their way out. Maybe. . . All right. I don't know. Like, anything. Slam the door so that I would have woken up that way. Anything. Anything at all. You know? Because now it's been months. They basically have other lives. I'm sitting here. Why are you even here? It's November. All right. In theory, this is the week episode that. . . The turkey comes in and he gobbles and makes all of the chaos, you know, because of Thanksgiving. Oh, Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Like, a lot of times we do that this week. And now I'm waking up and it's Santa, which is great. I love that you're visiting. But also, there's. . . I don't like it when there's no. . . Background music. Like, I think that's really starting to freak me out. More so even than the months of no episodes. The everybody has left the show. That no one is listening probably anymore. That turkey's not here. I just don't like it when there's not a music bed. Yes. Well, I. . . My. . . Hmm. The first thing. . . I'm going. . . I'm going to try to pass all of this is not, not. Now, when you say not, that's a negative. And when you say not, not, then it cancels it out, which means it becomes a positive. So that means it is. So it's. . . It's. . . If I said it's not, then it's not happening. If I say it's not, not. . . Then it is happening. But let's say I really get into the mood and I say it's not, not, not. Not, not, not. Then that goes back, I would assume, to the negative. I don't know. That makes sense. It's a real conundrum, a grammatical conundrum that you've given us, Natty. I didn't mean to. Now, as to the rest. Yes, yes, yes. I think you should be. . . I'm so happy that anyone ever did listen to this show. Okay. You should be proud of yourself, of your past. What you've. . . What is that? What do you. . . What is happening? What is that? That's a. . . Yeah. If you make a word or if you say anything that begins with a P, we don't. . . I guess we don't even have that anymore. We used to have a little screen that would go. . . Over the microphone and it would catch the. . . The. . . The. . . What do you. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . The. . . And we had them a lot because of Aloysius J. Pig. I understand. So, we don't have that anymore either, I guess. Yeah, so, again, Natty. It feels like you're. . . Phoning in on the negative. Here are the things we don't have. We don't have a show anymore. We don't have a life anymore. We don't have friends. Man, hey. We don't have listeners. We don't have turkey. Turkey. Really, there's not a lot left. Oh.

Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe to our channel. Please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talkers are Natty Bumpercar, Natty Bumpercar, and Natty Bumpercar. Natty Bumpercar is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

November 26, 2024
Bumperpodcast #437 – Season 3 – Help

Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy. In this episode, Pig tries to get to the bottom of some things while Producer and Rufus T. Rufus do anything but figure anything out!

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About This Episode

In this hilariously chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig tries to address an important issue but gets completely derailed by Rufus T. Rufus's nostalgic tale about Jack's Snack Shack down by the creek. The conversation spirals into debates about double negatives, food preferences, and whether Rufus might actually be a horse based on his love of oats and carrots. Producer joins in with confusing grading systems and his sensitivity about eating flies, while Aloysious struggles to keep everyone on track. The episode showcases the show's trademark improvisational comedy as the characters bicker, joke, and ultimately forget what they were even trying to discuss in the first place.

Memorable Quotes

“Jack's Snack Shack way out back is a hack, all right?”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“I don't want to get personal, but are you a horse? Because what you just described is basically the snack of a horse.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“Jack's Snack from way out back does not have any kind of a lack for giving smacks, in fact, he has a knack for giving stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon smacks.”
— Producer

Topics: #food #snacks #nostalgia #communication #jack'ssnackshack #workplacecomedy #grammar

Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

Full Transcript

Aloysious J. Pig: now yes so all i'm saying is he's a problem right so if he's gonna be a problem and then we gotta change the name of the show or something yeah well so you know it's not

Producer: like i don't not disagree hold on don't not disagree don't not this yes it's like i don't

Rufus T. Rufus: not disagree however you know yeah now so i this is rufus t rufus now as a lawyer around here once we start throwing out double negatives and triple negatives as it were you understand with uh don't being the first one there not being the second one there so the don't and the not are going to cancel each other out and then the disagree i would i think is going to be your third negative so that's your triple negative which i think is going to bring it back into the fold of

Aloysious J. Pig: being negative and um now i just think we gotta stick to the matter at hand no i understand i'm

Rufus T. Rufus: just trying to keep it straight from a legalese point of view yeah well nobody really cares about

Aloysious J. Pig: the legalese point of view at the moment because i think what we're trying to figure out is a bigger

Producer: issue here all right yes so i totally don't not agree with you oh come on

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't get paid unless I make the podcast, so I'm around, right? And I need to eat. I'm a pig who likes to eat food, okay? Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, it's interesting, Aloysius. I'm not a pig, you understand, but I am someone who does enjoy the food, enjoys eating, you know? And I have been reminiscing a little bit about when I was young, before I was ever a lawyer, you understand, when I was just in short pants and I was walking around by the creek, you understand? And there was a little shack there, and it was a snack shack, they called it. And I would go on up to the snack shack, and to the manager's name was Jack. I think it was called Jack's Snack Shack. And I would go in, and I would… Peruse the aisles. There's really only one aisle, but I would peruse it up and down, left and right, and I would pick out my favorite food in the whole wide world.

Aloysious J. Pig: All right, you got me hooked. I want to know what your favorite food in the whole wide world is, but then we got to get back to the real thing, but I'm intrigued by the whole creek and whatever you got going on there. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, well, okay, wow. Well, what I would find is that Jack's Snack Shack, Jack's Snack Shack is they had, it was dry rolled oats, and they would come in a little packet, and a little sack there, and then I'd get a little apple juice, so some oats and some apple juice, and sometimes I might eat a carrot or two as well.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, Rufus, I don't want to get personal, I don't want to get into your business, but are you a horse? Because what you just described is basically the snack, of a horse, like you're going to go in, horse love, they love eating oats, they love eating carrots, and they love apples, so that's who, I don't know if they drink apple juice, or if they're those things, it's like, oh, I'll eat an apple, but I won't eat apple sauce,

Rufus T. Rufus: or they won't eat apple juice, but I will eat apples, and you're like, buddy, it's the same thing. All right, it's just in a different package, all right?

Producer: So, hold on a second, so I'm looking it up on all of the, all of the internets, every single one, and I am not finding Jack's Snack Shack, done by the creek, but I am finding a Jack's Snack Shack that's way out back, you understand, I don't, that's this other part of town, I think, and it's got wonderful reviews, maybe we should take a field trip out there one day.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, now, you know, not to burst your bubble there, producer, and I do appreciate you doing research on the fly like that.

Producer: Oh, how do I love eating flies, they're our mice, my favorite food, you know, if we're talking about it.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, we're not talking about it, we just want to figure out whatever Rufus is talking about, but, okay, thanks for the info.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, now, as I was saying, now, the Jack's Snack Shack that they have listed there that's way out back, that is not actually affiliated with Jack's Snack Shack that's done by the creek, that, so that one is closer to the tracks, you understand, so it's Jack's Snack Shack that's done by the tracks, and what had happened was Jack, the proprietor, had opened up his Snack Shack down by the tracks near the creek, and that's the one that everybody went to, that's the one everybody knows, that's where the reputation was built, and lo and behold, Jack had a cousin, also, watch this, he named John, but they called himself Jack, so Jack, number two, moves into town, sees how well Jack's Snack Shack is doing, and he's like, oh, well, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what the hell Jack's Snack Shack is doing, and the good reputation it has, and proceeds to go out back and open himself up his own Snack Shack, so what I'm saying is that Jack's Snack Shack way out back is a hack, all right?

Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't want to detract from Jack's Snack Shack way out back, or else he might come on over here and give you a smack, is what I've heard about that guy, okay?

Producer: Yeah, no, I've heard the same thing, where Jack's Snack, Jack's Snack from way out back does not have any kind of a lack for giving smacks, in fact, he has a knack for giving stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon smacks, and you might have to get out of town on your, um, Jack?

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, yeah, this took a terrible turn, there's everything since doing this podcast, but, you know, we're just chitin', chattin', and having a little bit of fun, and then out of nowhere, everything goes loop-de-loo, and I, I, producer, I just felt like you were forcing there, you were, you know, just pushing a little bit harder than you needed to, I thought we had a good, uh, uh, uh, premise, and we, you know, we could have ridden it home, but, and you start, I don't know, I don't even know what you were doing.

Aloysious J. Pig: Well, I agree that it was terrible, but what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give producer an A for effort, or is it E for effort? Is E even a, that's not a letter, Greg? Is it E for effort, and T for nice try? E for effort? How does that, and T's not, I don't know what we're doing, because that's, these aren't letter grades, it's A, B, C, D, E, F. Wait, but E's not in there. A, B, C, I got a D, oh, no, I got an F on my test. What's in E? Is that in between, I'm like, where does, how do I get an E? I would like to get an E, I think it's better than an F. It's one better than an F. One letter. That's better than a D.

Producer: Yeah, so when I was in frog school, we didn't have all of those letters, the A's and the B's or whatever. We had an S, which was for satisfactory, and we have an N, which was for needs to be more satisfactory, I think. Needs improvement. What are we talking about that needs improvement? The sound, can you not hear? What are you talking about?

Aloysious J. Pig: No, no, no, I think he was saying your S was better than a D. S was satisfactory, and then your N, it was an N, was for needs improvement, as opposed to needs more, you know, I don't, can we not, this has got my head all in a jumble here. I got this dude over here, who's eating like a horse lunch, oats and carrots and applesauce, juice, sorry, but he had not, I know, you don't like applesauce.

Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, no, but that's fine. Well, what was it, you had some sort of a bug in your bonnet before when we first started talking, when we all came into the room, and I don't have, I don't remember, that was minutes ago, and I don't have any idea what we was talking about initially, and so if anybody wants to refresh my memory, if I'm to be honest, my blood sugar's a little bit low because I hadn't had a chance to have a snack or even really a little bit of a lunch today. I'm feeling a little bit peckish, which, if you know, if you know what that means.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, I'm worried because when you said peckish, that you were like, I think chickens, they peck, right? They peck, peck, peck, peck, peck their food, so does peckish have anything to do with, do you want to eat some bird seed? Do you want, I don't know what else birds eat. Do birds eat other things? Oh, yes, absolutely. Birds eat bugs and worms. Really? Yeah, worms. Two. I had no idea. It's a lot. I find that to be unsettling. Huh?

Producer: Rather disgusting. I mean, I don't know why, you know, you don't have to eat it. If the bird says that he wants to eat it, if that's the meal that the bird wants to have, then the bird should be able to have that, I think, you know? What does it even impact you, what the bird is eating? Why don't you just eat whatever you want to eat? I assume it's trash or slop or whatever it is, you know, because you're a pig. Yeah.

Aloysious J. Pig: I, I, I don't eat. I don't eat trash. Uh, thank you, though, for, for falling into that pig stereotype. Uh, I, I eat, uh, you know, delicious things is what I, I'm going to say, and I don't want to get into it. I don't want to go any deeper, but I eat delicious things. Thank you very much.

Rufus T. Rufus: You know, now I'm feeling like this is a little bit strange, Aloysius, because you're over there making fun of my snack, which is a very healthy snack, my doctor. Uh, agrees and approves. He says, uh, this, he's never seen anyone eat quite as, as healthy a food as I do. And, and, and, and, yeah, we're making fun of a little bit of, uh, the frog over here, uh, producer for eating flies. I mean, what else is he going to eat, you know? And then, uh, me saying I'm peckish, and then you're saying, oh, what are you, some sort of bird or something? Come on now, Aloysius. Now you're not even going to tell us what you eat? Like, how is that supposed to make us feel? This isn't a team. This isn't us coming together and learning about each other. This is just you making fun of everybody and making us feel bad about ourselves, which just doesn't feel, uh, appropriate. Or, or, or right, you know, you see?

Producer: Yeah, I don't want to, you know, jump onto Rufus's curtails or anything, but, you know, this whole time, it's like I, I don't not disagree with him about him saying these things about the food, and about the making fun of, and about all these, uh, you know, stuff. So, because I'm sensitive about the flies, I am. You know, people look at me, and they're like, oh, bro, he eats flies? And I'm like, I'm a frog. What am I supposed to do, okay? So, hold on.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, nobody cares. Okay, thank you, producer. I apologize if I made fun of anybody, made anybody feel bad. I feel terrible. Um, but I remember when you said the don't not thing, that brought me all the way back to the beginning of the episode when we were, oh, don't not, not, whatever. And I had a whole point. I had a whole point that I was trying to bring up with this episode. And, um, we got sidetracked, as we often do. So, here's what I actually wanted to talk about, okay?

Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced by The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can find us on Twitter at Natty Bumpercar.com. And follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

February 9, 2024
Bumperpodcast #393 – Season 2 – Toe

It has been way too long. Let me explain why – oh – why. ❤️ The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

About This Episode

In this personal episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares stories from his recent whirlwind trip to Georgia. Natty recounts helping his childhood best friend clean out his parents' house in Macon, Georgia, triggering waves of nostalgia from their friendship that began in traumatic swim lessons at age four. The episode features humorous tales of Southern food adventures including barbecue, Brunswick stew, and a leaky fried chicken restaurant, followed by a grueling 25-hour drive to Boulder, Colorado. Between managing his clumsy cone-wearing puppy Banjo, dealing with a broken trampoline, and hosting a virtual drawing session for schoolchildren, Natty ends the episode explaining how he broke his pinky toe by walking into a cabinet.

Memorable Quotes

“They put us at the deep end of the pool… walked up behind us and pushed. Sploosh. Down into the water. That's how we learned to swim… that's a scary way to learn how to swim.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“He's got this cone on his head and he hits me right in the back of the calf… he's very insistent like hey hey hey I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna hit you hard.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I stood up and I walked directly into a very heavy cabinet… I yelped I fell on the ground and I was just like rolling around… Banjo came over with his cone and he tried to love me to death.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #friendship #nostalgia #travel #southernfood #childhoodmemories #pets #injury

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Well now I went down to Georgia for a while for about four days and now I forgot how to talk because sometimes when I go back home I just start talking like I used to talk which was kind of like this. It wasn't exactly like this but it was kind of like this and I wait a minute no that's not did I? I mean I did go to Georgia. I was there for for three days two days. It was I had the craziest trip you guys. I know you probably like bumper car. You can't just put out an episode a month. I understand that. I know that but life has been coming at me crazy fast. So here's what's been going on. Step one I had to fly to Georgia to help my best friend out. We had to clean his pants. We had to clean his parents house out. We had a I flew to Georgia and then we drove to a place called Macon Georgia. Macon Bacon. Macon Trouble. Macon Macon. Yeah I don't know um and and we we got a 20 foot uh tall. No that'd be amazing. Do you do you know that you know the difference between tall and long? Uh probably right? Like your height that's how tall you are. Your arms if you stretch them out that's how long I don't know. Hard to explain but you know when you're driving down the road and you see a big truck and it's really long or a train that's really long that's that's that's long. That's not a good description is it? Huh that's fine too. Anyway it was a 20 foot long truck and I mean come to think of it it was probably like 12 or 13 feet tall. It was pretty tall and we emptied out the entire house and we were straightening and cleaning and going room by room. And and and getting rid of stuff um because his mom moved to where he lives and so they were getting rid of the house and it was there were emotions. I had emotions. There was a lot of nostalgia. We we drove around. I've known this friend since we were four years old. I used to say three years old but he contends that it was four or five years old and so now I'm like what? Oh so I did give a little bit of ground on the three so now I'll say four. We met when we were um in swim lessons and this is how the swim lessons used to go so just get ready kids. They put us at the deep end of the pool and our swim instructor was this woman and I can't remember her name but she walked up behind us in the deep end of the pool. A four year old. Several of us and put her hand on her back our backs and pushed. Sploosh. Down into the water. That's how we we learned to swim and then she had this thing that she would kind of reach out into the pool and pull us back and and that's not that's a scary way to learn how to swim. I'm just gonna tell you. And so it was through that trauma through that trial by fiery water that we we bonded and we became pals and so this house it I spent more time in this house growing up than in any other house and um so there were a lot of emotions involved with that just you know walking room to room and uh they have a a separate little room it's a bonus room is what they call it oh look at this your house has a bonus room and it's above the garage and it was never finished it was kind of like a big storage area and um it has this smell and it's not a bad smell it's just like when I open the door to look in and see how much stuff I have I'm like oh my god I'm so I was hit by this smell now smell is cool for memory um like you can walk into someplace or and you can smell something and and your mind will just get flooded with all these memories where you're like I remember you know this place and you can just close your eyes and you just know where you are and it's it's just so cool and so that's how it was and we uh so we were down there and we were in the pool and we were like oh my god I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited we're we're packing stuff we get the truck uh we're going to all these places like to eat like you know oh remember this place let's go get food there or whatever and um one of the places i went by myself well i had a big food day which i do not recommend because my tummy still hurts where we had um barbecue and we had something called brunswick stew which is made in brunswick georgia and it's it's this stewy thing that you get at barbecue places and it's so good and after that i went and i got curly fries seasoned curly fries from this place that i really like and then after that i went to another place a fried chicken place and i didn't get fried chicken but i did get a honey buttered biscuit oh it was so good and uh an order of fried okra which is um magical thing and really one of the only ways i'll eat okra because have you ever had okra it's it can be a little creepy if i'm gonna be completely honest um i do like pickled okra but only on very rare occasions uh stewed okra no thank you too slimy too creepy you keep that over there fried okra every day my friend but i'm standing there and well first when i walk into the uh the fried chicken place you know sometimes when you go to stores people will say something like how are you welcome to my store hello customer hello friend whatever it is uh all she said and she just yelled at she she said um what are you having and i was like ah that's a lot of pressure like i want i didn't get to acclimate i didn't get to get my my feet wet but i did almost get my feet wet because about five feet to the right of the register uh where you're you know where you're going to get your food and get your stuff and she's like oh you're an expert so he's like what just friends i'm like realized that we didn't know what it was and so then we had a sir cramp and i thought to myself that i was going to get my phone bill here you know buying the stuff there's a there was a giant hole in the ceiling um where there's all these exposed uh like air conditioner pipes and there was all this water falling not even just dripping but kind of raining and it wasn't raining outside this was internal raining and there was a giant puddle on the floor so there was a there was a big pan that was full of this sealing water and then there was a big puddle on the floor and the whole time i was i like experiences and to me this is an adventure and an experience i'm getting off so i'll very soon without the trip so i'm going to maybe come back so i'll take me there now if somebody's gonna buy me a little bit and to me this is an adventure and experience and I was just like this this is what I want in the world I want weird stuff like this um and what I ended up with uh not gonna lie again a stomach ache and then that night we went to uh downtown Macon which I mean it existed as a thing but it didn't exist like this and we saw a friend and we had dinner outside and there were lights and it was gorgeous and it was the best thing ever anyway loaded the truck and drove all the way to Boulder Colorado 25 hours so far unloaded the truck returned the truck flew back home so tired but good happy right yeah and then on top of that uh my little puppy dog Banjo who's a pointer he had to go get um a little medical procedure done because he's at that certain puppy dog age he's running around the house with a cone and he's already a pretty clumsy dog right he runs into stuff but now he's got this cone on his head and he hits me right in the back of the calf that's like the bottom back of your leg and it hurts so bad and he's very he's not aggressive about it but he's very insistent like hey hey hey I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna hit you hard I'm gonna continually hit you hey guess what I'm still hitting you and it hurts a lot um but that's okay because he just loves that much right and that's a sweet thing what else is going on well our trampoline broke so that's no good because the kids go on it every single day and our neighbor kids go on it too dun dun dun how did it break well trampolines have these cool poles that go around that have a net somehow they broke one of the poles that's broken cool can we fix that I don't know oh but wait hey look we also somehow managed to put a rip in the actual trampoline okay trampoline is gone then no more trampolines so I have to figure that out and then we're gonna have a yard sale in a couple weeks and then I'm doing all this fun stuff for the school I got to do a virtual it was like an hour long draw along with my kids uh school it was like first graders second graders third graders they were and uh we we drew something for the art teacher and it was really fun and it was really it was a great time and I want to do that more often speaking of that I'm going to show you a little bit of a video of me doing a little bit of a thing more often I want to thank Jessica Sager she is our first Patreon Patreoner Patreonee person who Patreons I don't know how it works but it's fun I didn't say her name last time because I wasn't sure if I was allowed to but then I saw she's at the level I'm supposed to talk about her up and down so Jessica Sager you're the best everybody go to patreon.com slash natty bumper car if you want I'd love it I mean I love you regardless but I would super love that it'd be cool um and then this episode is called toe why because I broke my toe today my little toe my pinky toe on my right foot is that nice no how did I do that I stood up and I walked directly into a very heavy cabinet and it I I was on the ground I yelped I fell on the ground and I was just like rolling around like and then you know what happened of course no Rufus T. Rufus didn't show up neither did Pig but Banjo my dog he came over with his cone and he tried to love me to death

Producer: this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this has been a non-productive media presentation executive producer Frank Hablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit non-productive.com

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May 19, 2021
Bumperpodcast #367 – Time is a flat circle

Natty starts talking about time, and baubles, and then gets a bit nostalgic, and also a bit flustered. It’s almost like deja vu!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

About This Episode

In episode 367 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar reflects on post-holiday blues and the passage of time after all the festive decorations come down. Host Natty explores deep concepts like "time is a flat circle" and nostalgia, sharing humorous stories about conflating memories of family dogs Popcorn and Irving Brown Socks. The episode takes listeners through Natty's personal experiences with déjà vu, cave crickets in a Georgia crawl space, and his children's nostalgia for "the good old days" at the brown house. Natty wraps up with motivational thoughts about using time wisely and the mysterious Tree Wolf who takes away Christmas trees each year, leaving pine needles everywhere.

Memorable Quotes

“Did you know in school in my yearbook I was labeled the one who likes fancy doodads the most? My middle name is sparkly doodad bumper car. It's not but…”
— Natty Bumpercar

“The tree wolf comes out of the forest and he takes our tree and he drags it back into the forest. The tree wolf is not a clean wolf, he's a dirty wolf.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“Time is a flat circle and time is not linear. Your memories, the older you get they all build up and sometimes they start to get a little bit combined.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #time #nostalgia #post-holiday #memories #philosophy #family #dogs #motivation

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh woe is me woe is me woe is me it is that time of year when all of the beautiful sparkly baubles go away the lights the trees the ornaments all the fancy doodads and it makes me so sad because i love fancy doodads why did you know in school in my yearbook i was labeled the one who likes fancy doodads the most did you know that my middle name is sparkly doodad bumper car it's not but guys it's it's hard because we just went through all the big holidays you had your thanksgivings you had all this stuff in december we had new year's and now we're just in june january oh january it's this cold month that's just here and it's fine it's good i'm not gonna knock january why one of my sweet beautiful children was born in january but it's it's it's it's not the best month because i mean what do i yeah all the fun stuff just to happen now we gotta wait we gotta wait for what's the next thing valentine's day all right did you know i was at the grocery store the other day and uh they were taking all the christmas stuff down so this was december 26th and they were putting the valentine's day stuff up in december and i was just like no grocery store i will not buy your heart-shaped candies yet not until february 12th in a rush a mad rush that's when i get my cards and whatnot you know here's the thing it made me think of time and and i read i there was a cool uh little not slogan little saying call it says time is a flat circle and i was like what does that mean what is a flat what does that mean like a flat circle i guess if it was a 3d circle it would be a ball but time is a flat circle and so it was just kind of like the things that you have done will come back around and you'll do them again and again and again throughout your entire life i don't and i don't know really what the point of it is i guess it's just to say to pay attention you know also time is not linear what does linear mean it means like a straight line so time can fold back on you on itself and i know that doesn't make any sense but time is weird if you think about it you know you're born you live you do your life and then you're in you go away i guess i don't know i don't know what happens i haven't been there yet but you have memories and you have nostalgia and what that is is when the holidays come and maybe you smell a candle that smells like a tree and then you have another time that you smelled a candle that smelled like a tree and the time kind of folds in on itself and your memories and the older you get your memories they all build up right and so sometimes they start to get a little bit combined um especially my brain loves to conflate things what does conflate mean it means to just kind of squish things together a little bit sometimes unintended it's like how i uh you know i'll look at our dog popcorn who's uh 10 months old beagle black lab maybe you've met her i hope you have and uh just seeing her uh the way she'll run in the backyard sometimes will uh make me have little flashbacks to memories of irving brown socks my my puppy dog uh and then i start to think about things that socks did but things that popcorn did and then i can't remember which of the dogs actually did that thing and then i start to conflate them and then i just put them in the uh dog folder in my brain i'm like well that's a dog activity i'm just gonna put it in the dog box this is where the memories of dog things go and sometimes if it gets jostled or shaken up or moved around i'm just gonna put it in the dog box and then i start to think about then uh you know maybe one of the two of the thoughts will get a little confused um now that's a funny thing because it can get confusing have you ever had deja vu do you know what that is deja vu is super cool that's when you're doing something and then you kind of your brain goes wait a minute haven't i been here before haven't i done this thing before already wasn't i already in this exact spot or you know somebody will say to you like uh uh oh i'll have a fruit smoothie and you're like yeah you will how did i know you were gonna say that i feel like i've been in this very moment already and i don't know what deja vu is is it just your mind working quicker than the world around it is it just you know maybe you were kind of not focused not paying attention and then you come back to the world and it's kind of overwhelming and your brain is just like ah this is that okay here we are and this is what's happening i don't know is it is it uh shadows of whispers of memories of of things that are happening i don't know i don't know we're not learning i mean we're learning all kinds of fun stuff what we learned so far time is a flat circle time is not linear the one i just said deja vu that one conflation that was a big one to learn today um but so the older you get it's it's it's fun even my kids they uh you know 10 and 7 they they they will get nostalgic for things in their past i mean emerson's only 10 years old but he'll be like oh i remember the good old days remember the good old days i'm like what is the good old what does that mean to you what are the good old days you're 10 years old all your days have been pretty good what are the what are the good old days he's like ah the good old days where we lived in the brown house i'm like ah yes the brown house uh emerson has a a few touchstones uh that he likes to his memories go back to they flow back to and the brown house is one of them remember the brown house dad and i'm like yeah you were four how do you like what kind of foundational memories were you making at the brown house i remember the brown house was cold i remember the brown house was uh uh dark and it had um those cave crickets in the basement what are cave crickets they're horrifying monstrous little bugs that have these four legs and when they bounce they go boom like that and they're aggressive they'll come at you they're not bugs that are like i'm gonna scurry away i don't want to see people no they're bugs that are like like hey hey hey you hey hey you're like no no thank you i don't want no thank you please no go away bug not a fan not a fan when we used to live in georgia this was pre-children uh i had to do a lot of work under our house we had a crawl space a crawl space is a space under a house uh it's usually like three i think ours is maybe two and a half three feet so not not not a lot dirt you know it's the the ground is under the house dirt yucky dirt dirt dirt dirt and i had to go under there and clean out the whole space take everything that was out in there out and then i put in uh a new uh i put stuff called lime which is just some stuff you put in the dirt i don't know it changes the ph what does that mean i don't know so i was told to do and then i had to put this new liner on the ground to keep the moisture from the ground away from the house and as i'm doing all this work by myself in the dark these crickets would come at me constantly like boing boing boing what are you doing boing what are you doing boing what are you doing boing and i was just like please leave me alone i couldn't even sit up in there so i'd have to roll away from them and they would follow me and they were faster at hopping than i was at rolling and it was just not pleasant it was just not pleasant at all i'm hoping that that is not something if time is in fact a flat circle that is going to come around to me again and again i don't want to have any more confrontation i don't want to have any more confrontation i don't with cave crickets don't want to at all back to the point and time use it preciously use it wisely don't dawdle get as much stuff done as you can don't overextend yourself because if you do you might get sick and i don't want you to get tired okay i want you to live to your potential with and use your time as best you can and i don't want you to get tired okay i want you to live to your best as you can make yourself happy do good things for yourself do good things for other people use your time wisely right right this has become a motivational speech and i'm fine with that time is not infinite your your your time is finite finite finite finite infinite finite finite no finite uh what does that mean that means there's a beginning and there's an end so use all the time that you have as best as you can and and it'll be great it'll be great even if you have to rest a little bit that's still using your time just be cognizant be aware that you're using your time it'll be good it'll be good i uh i was reading all these quotes like famous people quotes and it was just they were all basically like um you know what was it uh this is uh charles darwin said a man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life okay so don't waste your time charles we got it charles darwin one day you should look him up he's cool he went to the galapagos islands there were turtles there there's more to them but that's that's that's just the high notes we're just hitting the high notes guy named uh let's see thomas jefferson you ever heard of him he's a big name says determined never to be idle no person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any it is wonderful how much can be done if we are always doing so just do stuff i mean these guys are much wordier than i am i'm basically like uh you should do some stuff maybe you should do some stuff like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know like that but um anyway guys you know what i'm gonna go be nostalgic about my my my baubles my tree my christmas lights i'm gonna go uh clean up the glitter that fell on the ground as i was moving things oh and i'm gonna tell you one one more quick story so in our house here at headquarters every year the uh when it's time to take the tree down we take we have to take everything off the tree we take all the ornaments we take the lights off and uh then the tree wolf comes out of the forest and he takes our tree and he drags it back into the forest and i don't know what happens after that do you guys have a tree wolf where does your tree go how did who how does your tree leave the house my kids they some of them they were like dad you take the tree out and i was just like that's not even possible i can't pick this tree up it's too big doesn't even fit through the door the tree wolf does it and the worst thing about the tree wolf is that when he drags the tree out of the house he leaves all the needles everywhere the tree wolf is not a clean wolf he's a dirty wolf but anyway collecting trees for all these years out in the forest out in the woods i don't know what his plan is i don't know what his angle is but i know the tree wolf means business and i do too and you do too you know why because you're the bumper podcast cateers and it's a new year new year what does that mean we're getting stickers made pretty soon i'll tell you how you can get a sticker so just keep listening keep being awesome i love you you're my best friend all right

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January 16, 2020