Tag: nature

  • Bumperpodcast #193: Knowledge, Science, Smarts

    Bumperpodcast #193: Knowledge, Science, Smarts

    Natty Bumpercar proves that he may be the smartest scientist in the entire planet – maybe even on the whole world with this weeks thesis riddled Bumperpodcast!

    Do you science? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In episode 193 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar delivers an energetic and hilarious monologue about the mysteries of autumn leaves. After enjoying baby muffins for breakfast, Natty spirals into wild theories about why leaves fall from trees, including dinosaurs and earthquakes, and disappointingly confirms that brown leaves are not made of chocolate. The episode takes comedic turns as Natty reflects on their overeager classroom habits of shouting out answers before questions were even asked. This quintessential Bumperpodcast episode combines observational humor about nature with Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness comedy style.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The brown ones okay i know for a fact are not chocolate you would think you're like oh look brown leaves those are clearly made of chocolate they're not made of chocolate people”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I had baby muffins for breakfast baby muffins are the best kind of muffins in the whole wide world because they're not they're not jaded yet”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I would just sit in class and yell out answers uh there were no questions being asked uh we were supposed to be reading and maybe coloring”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #autumn #leaves #science #breakfast #education #nature #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: what's going on with the leaves what's going on with the trees what's going on with the world everywhere i look there's just leaves all over the ground it's like they all fell off the trees all at the same time was there a big earthquake was there a dinosaur was there some sort of monster that came through the world and the planet and knocked all the leaves off why and why did when they fell off did they decided they just go turn red and orange is that leaf blood because if it is that's kind of gross because that means that it was just walking all around leaf blood and then the brown ones okay i know for a fact are not chocolate you would think you're like oh look brown leaves those are clearly made of chocolate they're not made of chocolate people come on this is one thing you're going to get from the bumper podcast today it's going to be science it's going to be stuff that you're going to take home and you're going to think about a little bit you're going to be like you know what that bumper car he knows what he's talking about that bumper car he makes sense he seems pretty amped today he seems pretty excited today what was what did what did he have for breakfast not obviously not chocolate leaves because now we know they don't exist and you know what that's a little too personal don't ask me what i had for breakfast because i don't i don't remember no wait a minute i'll tell you i had baby muffins for breakfast baby muffins are the best kind of muffins in the whole wide world because they're not they're not jaded yet is that's the theme song that i'm working on for them but they're tiny muffins tiny blueberry muffins that i actually cut the tops off of i had three of them cut the tops off of put a little bit of butter on uh the base and then on the top and put them in the toaster oven and but i didn't toast them too much because i didn't want crunchy uh baby muffins i just wanted that butter to melt on in and then i ate them and guess who's having the best day uh ever right now me what i didn't give you a time to guess all right i'm not good at games that's why i don't host game shows guys that's why there's no family game night here at headquarters with the bumper cars because i'm just i get excited and if i know the answer to something i don't even raise my hand i just scream it out used to get in trouble in school all the time for that just i would be like two is two two then and the number the answer is two everyone knows everyone knows that right two it's two what the answer is piscataway what but i i thought we were all in agreement that it was two but no we're not we're not no no one no one agreed at any point in time to jump on the band the bumper car bandwagon of question answering because a lot of times what i would do i would actually answer the question before the teacher had even gotten around to asking it okay let me just paint a picture for you really what i would do is i would just sit in class and yell out answers uh there were no questions being asked uh we were supposed to be reading and maybe coloring i don't know here's the thing though i got sick of chewing on my crayons and eating glue off my hand and and i decided that i needed to educate the people the masses of my in my classes and i did that i gave them all of the answers some of them they couldn't even handle some answers they weren't even ready for but i gave them to them so that so because i i had a feeling in my gut that that they needed to know what i what i had to tell them so really here's the thing i think if there's a theme to today's bumper podcast uh it's science obviously learning knowledge um we found out a little bit about leaves i still don't know why they're all on the ground no one confirmed with me the dinosaur theory that i was bandying about um all the dishes are still on the wall here so i'm guessing it was not an earthquake but uh they are definitely falling off the trees for some reason um if i go back through my data my uh my my that's what we call information here science in science land uh i i think i might find some interesting things about a timeline that maybe this this isn't the first time this happened maybe the leaves have fallen off the trees before you know and what that does is that gets us closer to an answer two see it's two it's not two it's never it's never two um it's not going to be two whatever the question that someone's going to ask you it's uh unlikely that the answer is going to be two because really it's just like zero one two you're not those are too easy for answers it's going to be like seven tween or ten till ten till ten till seven i don't know i don't know anything

  • Bumperpodcast #163: I just don’t know

    Bumperpodcast #163: I just don’t know

    Spring has sprung around Headquarters!

    And – Natty Bumpercar realizes that he doesn’t know everything in the world – which is disturbing. So – a mission is sent out to all of my pals … Tell me all of the things in the world that I don’t know.

    Do you know things? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    We’ll be awsomer!


    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 163, Natty Bumpercar celebrates the arrival of spring at headquarters, though the season brings challenges like allergies and constant sneezing. As he contemplates the mysteries of pollen, Natty spirals into philosophical territory, questioning whether grass has pollen, what to call airplane skywriters, and if almonds are fruits or nuts. The episode takes a humorous turn as Natty realizes how much he doesn't know after missing a few weeks of podcasting due to babies. He enlists his listeners—not as minions, but as pals—to help uncover life's mysteries and make everyone "bigger better stronger smarter more and more awesomer."

    Memorable Quotes

    “This might be my new life's goal i might switch up everything that i'm doing in life right now drop everything just to find out just to get to the bottom of this mystery”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Is an almond a fruit or uh a nut i i don't know like there's a lot of things i don't know is what i'm finding out today”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Go and find out all the things that i don't know that you don't know and tell me what they are so that then i'll know them”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #spring #allergies #pollen #knowledge #mysteries #nature #philosophy #listenerinteraction

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well what is up bumper podcast my name is natty bumper car and i am thrilled to be here so thrilled how thrilled really thrilled really thrilled so how's it going guys it's spring finally here around headquarters and what does that mean it means allergies it means i sneeze all the time it means i have to take funny little pills with funny little names that make my eyes stop feeling like there's sand in them oh boy oh boy oh boy no really it's crazy town all these trees with their pollen it's like listen trees you got some pollen i got it i get it you need pollen to stay alive you flowers too okay grass i think you need pollen but i'm not really entirely positive about that any grass people out there in the crowd that listen that can tell me grass has pollen right it's got chlorophyll i know that because it's green but i don't know if it has pollen interesting we're a minute into the episode and we've already hit our major stumbling block does grass have pollen this is something that i may never be able to answer like this might be my new life's goal i might switch up everything that i'm doing in life right now drop everything just to find out just to get to the bottom of this mystery because i'm not going to be able to answer this mystery because i'm not going to be able to answer i can't live like this i have to know you know everything clearly and this is a thing that i am now pronouncing to not know so i have an issue a major issue i have a major major issue and a problem if only i had minions that i could send out to find out things for me hmm that brings up an interesting point minions perhaps i should put an ad out via uh what is it called airplane skywriter i don't know what it's called jeez there's another thing i don't know is is an almond a fruit or uh a nut i i don't know like there's a lot of things i don't know is what i'm finding out today in the bumper podcast i mean this is what happens when you don't do a lot of when you miss a few weeks because of babies and stuff is you realize that there's a lot out there that you just don't know and as someone who is supposed to know everything that's very difficult but you know what i've got you guys out there not as minions but as pals to help me out to back me up and to let me know things so bumper podcast you have a mission this week go and find out all the things that i don't know that you don't know and tell me what they are so that then i'll know them and what will we be bigger better stronger smarter more and more awesomer

  • Bumperpodcast 108 – Power-free

    Bumperpodcast 108 – Power-free

    So – Headquarters has been without power for several days now – and we have all ben hunkered in our bunker and forgot to keep track of the calendar and basically – we missed yesterdays Bumperpodcast.

    Did you miss it as well? I am sorry if you did.

    This episode was recorded via tin-can … a coffee-tin-can – and – it tries really hard!

    Email us your stories about how you lost power at Bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com


    About This Episode

    In episode 108 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar records from an emergency bunker after losing power at headquarters. An unexpected October snowstorm caused chaos when snow fell on trees that still had their leaves, resulting in widespread damage from fallen trees and downed power lines. Natty humorously describes spending a night at headquarters listening to trees crack and fall, being unable to drive anywhere due to debris, and now recording the episode on a coffee can. Despite the challenging circumstances, Natty delivers this short update episode about the natural disaster while hoping headquarters won't smell funny by the time power is restored.

    Memorable Quotes

    “we are a day late and a dollar short a day late and a dollar short we have no dollars we have our days”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i'm recording this on a coffee can like coffee can alley”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “that's what happens when you lose power from what i understand things start to smell really funny”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #weather #naturaldisaster #snowstorm #poweroutage #halloweenseason #nature #emergency

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: okay that was very anticlimactic ladies and gentlemen this is the bumper podcast and we are without power at headquarters and so we're trying to make do and give you uh as much of a bumper podcast as we possibly can we understand that we are a day late and a dollar short a day late and a dollar short we have no dollars we have our days i'm i am a broken bumper car power gone headquarters is so here's what happened snow came and you think oh look at the nice snowfall it's october it's gonna snow and then no because here's what happens there's still leaves on the trees fall hasn't happened yet the the trees haven't done their little dance where they shake the leaves off and so the to take into account that snow fell from the sky anyway so it's kind of like it's life it's like i like falling sometimes i like to just fall and then i'm gonna just rest on the ground and then time is gonna come where i'm gonna melt melt away bye-bye snow time but for the leaves like you know it's it's the whole circle of the leaf tree thing is has been broken and oh look at that transition that the trees have been broken trees fall crack boom we were inside headquarters at night just listening without power we went through one night at headquarters with no power and just listen to things crack and fall and the trees tried to fall in the car and so then we went outside and it was devastation there was no power uh because why there are power lines down there were power poles down there were trees across the road piles of trees everywhere and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and everywhere uh to the point where you can't even drive around and so now we're in the bunker we're hunkered down in the bunker i'm recording this bumper podcast i don't even know what number it is i don't even know if i'm going to be able to put it up on the web uh but i'm recording it on a tin can so coffee can i'm recording this on a coffee can like coffee can alley um hopefully you know in the next week too we'll go back to headquarters and it'll still be there and it won't you know smell funny that's what happens when you lose power from what i understand things start to smell really funny

  • Bumperpodcast 96

    Bumperpodcast 96

    Back from vactation full of both vim and vigor and energy and spunk! Natty has one of those tangental days that seem to happen from time to time …

    Where will we go? What will we talk about? You’ll find out on todays episode of the Bumperpodcast.

    Wanna email us? Please do at Bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com

    [podpress]


    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns from his beach vacation with hilarious observations about semantics, rickety stairs, and the mysteries of nature. In this characteristically rambling episode, Natty discusses the importance of saying what you mean (are you going DOWN to the beach or just OVER to the beach?), ponders why stairs deteriorate while grass bounces back, and makes an unexpectedly funny comparison between the smell of fresh-cut grass and fresh-cut hair. The episode takes several delightful tangents as Natty's train of thought leads him from beach vacations to lawn care to beauty salons, ending with the bizarre realization that thinking about haircuts is making him hungry.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm a stickler for semantics. I'm a stickler for what you say better be true because if it's not true then I'm gonna know it and I'm gonna come at you hard and fast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Fresh-cut grass smells delicious. Not delicious, necessarily, but it smells wonderful. And this is creepy. This fresh-cut hair. I'm so glad that it doesn't smell like anything.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Right now, I'm thinking about getting my hair cut, and for some reason, it's making me very hungry.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #vacation #beach #semantics #nature #grass #haircuts #randomobservations

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yes yes yes yes bumper podcast i am back for my vacation my staycation my heycation how's it going well it was awesome i went to the beach and there was sand and there was water and there was seaweed and there were seabirds and there were dunes and there was um there was a stairwell that you would take down to the beach it's like you would literally say i'm going down to the beach it wasn't like you know when you're staying at some places and like you just walk across the street to the beach or whatever like and you're just like i'm going down to the beach and you're really just walking over to the beach that's different that's very different i me i'm a stickler for semantics i'm a stickler for what you say better be true because if it's not true then i'm gonna know it and i'm gonna come at you hard and fast and i'm gonna get you i'm gonna say what did you just say you're going down to the beach no you're not beach is over there i'm going to the beach straight line you're going over to the beach my friend anyway i went down to the beach down the stairs and i gotta tell you i went to the same place last year the stairs a little bit more rickety this year why do stairs get rickety what do they do they're just there they're not doing anything i mean i guess people are walking on them and stuff but people walk on all kinds of stuff all the time for instance grass people walk on grass all the time and what does grass do while it's getting walked on it just kind of it lays back it's like hey i'm here but i'm fine you know i'm relaxed and i'm gonna chill out and the step goes by and then all of a sudden the grass is like hey i'm back look at me i'm grass i'm i'm feeling pretty spry today I'm feeling pretty green and grassy. Oh, no, here comes the lawnmower. Oh, no, I smell wonderful. I smell like fresh-cut grass. All right, I know we're getting a little bit tangential today. I was supposed to be telling you about my bumper vacation, which is not what we're calling it. But fresh-cut grass smells delicious. Not delicious, necessarily, but it smells wonderful. And this is creepy. This fresh-cut hair. I'm so glad that it doesn't smell like anything. Like, if you walk into a salon, for instance, wherever you get your hair cut, you know, if you walked into your beauty salon, and people were getting their hair cut, and you were just like, oh, my gosh, marshmallows. This place smells like blueberries. Blueberries and marshmallows. You know what? This is weird. I'm guessing this has never been said, Bumper Podcast, but right now, I'm thinking about getting my hair cut, and for some reason, it's making me very hungry.

  • Bumperpodcast 79 – The flies have it

    Bumperpodcast 79 – The flies have it

    Things aren’t going well in Headquarters … Maybe you can help us with it – or – maybe you know someone who can help us with the situation … A critter has potentially passed away in the attic …

    And the flies – oh dear goodness graciousness – the flies.

    Someone help … please.

    If you think that you can help us – then email us at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

     


    About This Episode

    In episode 79 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar faces a crisis at headquarters involving an unwelcome wildlife situation. After encountering two fearsome squirrels in the attic and backing away slowly to maintain eye contact, things take a turn for the worse. A deceased squirrel in the backyard leads to an invasion of flies that threatens to take over the entire headquarters. Natty's comedic panic and increasingly frantic descriptions make this a hilariously gross episode about dealing with nature's less pleasant surprises.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I came eye to eye mere feet away from a ferocious furry squirrel. I'm the one who left the attic when I saw them and I didn't even turn around I backed slowly down the stairs never breaking eye contact.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The flies they're everywhere they're huge they're winning they're taking over.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #squirrels #headquarters #wildlife #pests #flies #nature #comedy #panic

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: ladies and gentlemen boys and girls we have a serious problem here in headquarters and i don't even mean a serious problem i mean a super serious problem and i shouldn't even be talking quite as loud as i am because they might hear me it's been overrun there's something terrible happening in headquarters something i think something died in the attic up in the belfry i think some sort of varmint some sort of creature some sort of thing might have happened and by happened i mean something it's gross i don't want to talk about it i'm sorry that i'm telling you guys about it

    Unknown: you

    Natty Bumpercar: hi this is natty bumper car this is the bumper podcast it's dead it's not things aren't going well around here in headquarters today things aren't going well at all um the last few days as a matter of fact so here's the situation maybe you can help me on it maybe you know someone who can help me with it i don't know all i do know is that things are things are getting real real ugly real gross real crazy there's no smell i need you to know that it's not like i live in some sort of hovel headquarters is a very nice place headquarters is very well kept we we vacuum we clean we take care of headquarters but maybe just maybe some type of critter gained access to the attic we're gonna say that happened we know that happened because i can't eye to eye mere feet away from a ferocious furry squirrel yeah i mean it was two squirrels i saw them they saw me i'm just gonna say i'm the one who left the attic when i saw them and i didn't even turn around i backed slowly down the stairs never breaking eye contact until i could get my hand on the door and then i uh burst through the door and i did like a little dance like type of thing but then a couple of weeks later there was a squirrel in the backyard he wasn't doing so well he wasn't with us anymore and i had to he was removed we'll say and then a week after that the fly started and that there ladies and gentlemen bumper cop bumper cod pet i'm so broken up about this the flies they're everywhere they're huge they're winning they're taking over