Tag: natty bumpercar

Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i have some exciting news the tree is gone i'm not i'm not even gonna bury the lead i'm just gonna come right out and i'm gonna tell you the tree is gone i hear feet above me which means that there are people running to be on the show which is very exciting because oh there's two people coming i can't do a podcast without you guys that's right oh boy ladies and gentlemen we have two special guests here today three i was not oh we have three because the dog came in too that is this morning very exciting i was asleep and uh the dog got away he did and i had to go save him come back the dog's now okay all right so all right the dog's gone the dog is no longer

Unknown: on the show so the dog is scared what's the dog scared of i don't know maybe this

Natty Bumpercar: hey why don't you put your butt right here there you go my dog what are you talking about hey is that what you're gonna talk is that what you're gonna say what he's

Unknown: gone

Natty Bumpercar: what are you gonna talk about were you guys so surprised yesterday when you came home went out and why were you surprised because i was here or were you just surprised that i brought

Unknown: you home come on bo i didn't i wasn't surprised nothing happened no nothing nothing happened

Natty Bumpercar: no or did something big happen um the backyard is not different at all oh the backyard's different daddy daddy cut the tree down no he did done done done why is that ollie why did i cut the

Unknown: tree down why did i cut the tree down cosズ he's the cutting man, wat is the cutting man and all of her cuddys

Natty Bumpercar: daddy is the cutting 162 00rj what does a cutting man do

Unknown: he cuts down the tree

Natty Bumpercar: chops down trees like a boss

Unknown: whut, that doesn't make no sense

Natty Bumpercar: does that mean anything to you

Unknown: all of the cutting man no he's not no i'm

Natty Bumpercar: he's the chopping boy

Unknown: chopping boy and i have a little tweezer that baby snaps those branches up its my tree

Natty Bumpercar: no you don't have a tree

Unknown: a tree. They don't make no sense. Daddy, do you remember? When I showed you that tree, you said, be careful. No. He's going to break you. Watch out.

Natty Bumpercar: We're going to switch over to here, but you can still keep talking to Emerson.

Unknown: So, anyway. So, Emerson,

Natty Bumpercar: if Oliver was the shopping boy, what were you?

Unknown: I know his name. I don't want to tell.

Natty Bumpercar: You don't want to tell everybody? The dreamy. Oh, good job. That's why he broke the microphone. I told you he was going to do it. That's why we don't touch things all the time, guys.

Unknown: Now he broke it forever? Yes, forever.

Natty Bumpercar: There's no need to yell, because the microphone's right there. And you've got headphones on, so you can hear yourself talk.

Unknown: Yeah, that's creepy.

Natty Bumpercar: Remember how he just broke it by touching it?

Unknown: Oh, yeah. I remember how he broke it. So, you're still touching it. It's amazing.

Natty Bumpercar: Why does he keep touching it? Whose children are these? So, you were surprised by the tree being gone? Yeah, a little bit. I didn't show you guys the photos and videos of it, did I? Yeah, you did. Oh, I showed you at school. That's right. Here, here's what you guys can do. You didn't show Oliver. Did you show the little one? I'm going this ear. Because he didn't see the tree. There, does that work? I guess you're not talking about the tree anymore. I don't know what's happening. This is a weird episode. See, isn't it weird how you can hear yourself talk anyway? Well, it's headphones. It's not that weird. So, what else did Daddy do yesterday?

Unknown: Oh, yeah. Imagine he took a nap or something. He's making me so hurting. He's hurting. Fix the boy. You definitely didn't touch it. Take a shower. I can tell that. Oliver, I'm not going to wear the microphone. All right, take them off. I wish I could tell my story. Why are you touching the microphone? I just get excited. I don't know. I love animals really much like that. I like animals, too.

Natty Bumpercar: Do you have animals on your shirt? Why are you trying to climb?

Unknown: Because I want to get to the microphone.

Natty Bumpercar: Do you want to stand, too? Wow, you guys are

Unknown: out of control. They're out of control. Daddy just hit the microphone.

Natty Bumpercar: Welcome to Distraction City. Population, those two.

Unknown: Daddy's distracted. Stop spitting.

Natty Bumpercar: Did you spit?

Unknown: No, Oliver keeps on making the breath on me. What's he doing? Stop making the breath on me. It smells bad, I guess.

Natty Bumpercar: Does it pig breath? It's just talking to the microphone.

Unknown: Don't yell.

Natty Bumpercar: What did Daddy do yesterday besides a tree? Something you're both excited about.

Unknown: Is it food?

Natty Bumpercar: Man, you guys are good at answering questions today. I'm trying. You know what? After your last appearance, everyone's excited about you being on the show. I mean, I was.

Unknown: Stop putting your breath on me. I see the backyard. That's the front yard. Yeah, it's the front. So anyway, I want to tell us…

Natty Bumpercar: Oliver keeps on putting his breath on you. Hey, Ollie, can you stop putting your breath on people? It's so much cleaning. It smells like… Come on. He just woke up. He just ate some food. Can a dog smell a little bit?

Unknown: It smells like rotten teeth breath.

Natty Bumpercar: Ollie, do you have rotten teeth breath? Oh, no. Done, done.

Unknown: He's going to have to go to the doctor.

Natty Bumpercar: Now I have rotting teeth breath. Wait, is it catching?

Unknown: Somebody smell my breath. Smell my breath.

Natty Bumpercar: We're going to have to go to the dentist and get all of our teeth pulled. Oh, yeah, the dentist. I said doctor. No, I don't want to do that. Golly gee. Golly, golly gee. Good voice you're doing. You're so heavy. I can't hold you like this. Daddy? Yes, sir. Oliver.

Unknown: What are you… Wait, on Sunday… Oliver. On Sunday, are we having a babysitter? Babysitter?

Natty Bumpercar: No, on Sunday, we're having the whole family over. Who? No, come on.

Unknown: Not all of them. It's Mother's Day.

Natty Bumpercar: Mother is a pig. That's on Sunday, again. What's Saturday? I've said that a few times. Do we have a babysitter on Sunday? No, we do not. I just said… On Saturday? We don't have a babysitter this weekend. There's no babysitter this weekend.

Unknown: But you said… Can I babysit?

Natty Bumpercar: Oliver, what day do we have a babysitter?

Unknown: I don't know. It's like a mystery now. Oh, June 10th.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I know. June 10th. June 10th is the worst. I can't believe it.

Unknown: I can't believe it.

Natty Bumpercar: No. That would be the worst thing ever.

Unknown: The worst?

Natty Bumpercar: Why would you say that? Oh, my goodness.

Unknown: Then Mommy would never see you again. That'd be so sad.

Natty Bumpercar: And Mommy would cry.

Unknown: Could I have his bed? I'm joking. That was a hilarious joke.

Natty Bumpercar: Never mind. Guys, where did we go last weekend? We went to the city. And what did we do?

Unknown: I didn't go to the city. You went to the city? We went to a show. What show? You and me did jokes.

Natty Bumpercar: I did jokes and you guys came? You went to a show? Did you have fun?

Unknown: Comedy show? Maybe.

Natty Bumpercar: Maybe.

Unknown: Socks came too. No, he did not. Yes, we did.

Natty Bumpercar: Was Socks in the back seat of the car?

Unknown: Yeah, probably. No, he wasn't. No. Oliver ate… Socks ate pizza. Oliver ate pizza. Why did he eat pizza? Because he was sneaking in.

Natty Bumpercar: You ate pizza because you were sneaking in?

Unknown: This is ridiculous. Socks ate pizza with me.

Natty Bumpercar: You guys went to a pizza parlor together?

Unknown: No.

Natty Bumpercar: What kind of pizza did you get?

Unknown: I don't know.

Natty Bumpercar: Cheese pizza. What kind of pizza did Socks get? Dog treat pizza.

Unknown: There's no such thing as dog treat pizza. Dog treat pizza. That sounds yummy.

Natty Bumpercar: It's only for dogs. It's my favorite kind though.

Unknown: That smells yucky. Dog treat pizza? Depends on what they're on. It's only for dogs. So if I went into a pizza place and I ordered a dog treat pizza, they wouldn't give it to me? No way. Only for Socks.

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, man. What if… So I'd have to have Socks next to me. Or maybe I'd have to pay Socks to buy the dog treat pizza so that I could go outside

Unknown: and eat it. How are you going to pay the dog?

Natty Bumpercar: He doesn't even have a wife. He doesn't even have a wife. He doesn't even have a wife. It tastes like poop dogs. Ew. Dogs don't eat that. That sounds disgusting.

Unknown: There's no way. It tastes for people. It's only for dog treats for only dogs.

Natty Bumpercar: There is no way that the health code is not being violated by him selling dog poop.

Unknown: There's no way that they're going to let him do that.

Natty Bumpercar: They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog. They don't even have a dog.

Unknown: They didn't even let me in restaurants.

Natty Bumpercar: Did you sit next to him while he ate that pizza?

Unknown: And I ate mine cheese.

Natty Bumpercar: So let me get this straight. You can't sit next to Emerson eating strawberries but you can sit next to Socks eating dog poop pizza?

Unknown: It doesn't make sense. No. It's the dog treat pizza. Then I'll try it. I drove Socks back here.

Natty Bumpercar: Wait, you drove the dog back here? That doesn't make any sense at all. You can't even reach the pedals.

Unknown: That kid's going straight to jail.

Natty Bumpercar: You're so tiny. you said door to open the door how did you get out of the car like a delinquent uh-oh i had a gun

Unknown: he had a what what in the world what are you teaching these kids

Natty Bumpercar: i don't even believe what i'm hearing right now this is not my ollie this is not who you are you do not move out drive dogs around with guns that you shoot to the pizza place that's too much no

Unknown: i got out how i got out i got a gun and he got out come on did you break our car do you think mommy's gonna like you talking no she ain't like no not even a little bit if you if you push you down there what are you gonna push people down what what now what are you talking

Natty Bumpercar: about that's the second time even on the show and you've done uh an infringement of copyright that we cannot you can't afford

Unknown: it's batman i see batman little one's leaving i see batman everybody what is he talking about batman the bobblehead oh he's over there and i have and i have and i have a star wars guy what is it's like a real divergence that's a good transition i'm glad that we went from the and he has a bone gun a what he has a bone what is a bone gun i don't even know what words i mean

Natty Bumpercar: it's like a bone gun does it shoot bones so did you emerson did you go to the city as well yeah and what was your favorite part

Unknown: we go with everything i don't know well i mean did you like the show the whole experience i like the show and i liked everything were you embarrassed no i would be embarrassed scared no did you like

Natty Bumpercar: that they put daddy up first yeah i wish i would have put me up first that's okay um and then we came home right and we played a little bit we've been playing we've been scootering right

Unknown: we were scootering yes you guys been going outside all the time in the front driveway

Natty Bumpercar: well that is true thanks thanks thanks for backing me up on that one that one's true

Unknown: but uh the pool i wish i could have told a story oh yeah the pool but it makes so much more sense we joined the pool yeah yeah yeah which means

Natty Bumpercar: but you're not gonna bring me what is he saying ollie that is not polite what is this kid on we're gonna go as soon as we can oliver not polite sir uh whenever whenever the pool joins then we i mean whenever uh words words are you gonna bring socks to the pool

Unknown: you know there's no dogs allowed i i trust you but there's a german shepherd one no it wasn't at the pool no no that was at the mystery icon

Natty Bumpercar: whose friend who's whose dog was that who's friend of yours um me it was michelle's dog and his name is name is michelle's dog and his name is michelle's dog and his name is Dog and his name is name zoo name and name