Tag: natty bumpercar

  • Bumperpodcast #319 – Sprang

    Bumperpodcast #319 – Sprang

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Hooray for chitter-chatter! Pig talks about getting organized, and then Natty pops in, and then Rufus pops in. It’s a regular treat!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In episode 319 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig discuss the arrival of spring and their shared frustration with winter lasting far too long. Their conversation is interrupted by legal counsel Rufus T. Rufus, who sounds under the weather and launches into a rambling defense of contracts and his privileged position in society. Natty shares updates on his creative projects, including webcomics called Rants and Snowflake, before delivering an earnest message about watching out for predatory people who take advantage of others. The episode blends absurdist humor with unexpectedly sincere advice about protecting yourself and your loved ones from exploitation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Here's my thing, I like winter because of christmas so I get some stuff under the tree… but then I don't want to go out in it and I don't want to drive in it.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I was born on third base, and the ball is in left field, and I'm just gonna walk on home, if you understand.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “There's people in the world who want to take advantage of you. Don't let them do that. They're gonna try to take your cotton candy. They're gonna try to pop your balloon.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #spring #winter #seasons #contracts #socialcommentary #webcomics #exploitation #friendship

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: now you see so what i was telling them was that you gotta take a little bit from column a and a little bit from column b and then at the bottom of the chart what's gonna happen is you're gonna those are gonna conflagrate you know i don't do a lot of math terms hey pig oh hey bumsy what's going on not much what are you talking about a little bit from column i love it when people say that you take a little bit from column a and a little bit from column b because it just makes it things sound very uh organized and very there's a logic structure that's behind it and things are making sense and you've got columns you might even have rows i don't know but i am not that organized and and and that's not how i live my life but i'm glad that there are people who who are like that so good for them well here's the thing too is like for me uh i'm not organized neither but uh i i'm not we're not doing spring cleaning but we're doing is we're springing forward if you understand so we spring the spring is sprang sprung sprung sprung yeah fine that's fine yeah okay so the spring is sprung oh so you're saying that we're not necessarily doing cleaning around here we're not cleaning house but that uh we were we were coiled up for the winter we were uh burrowed in we were uh hiding under the blankets and now maybe the sun is going to come out and the snow is going to melt away and there's going to be blue skies and then we can finally get on with our lives after this long winter is that is that what you're essentially that's what i'm saying but the winter's been so long it seems like it's been like 18 months of long winter i didn't move to mars all right mars is a terrible place to raise a pig and so i don't want to go there what i like i like seasons not seasoning i like just uh hey guess what it is it's full oh you know what's coming up next a little thing we call winter and then hey after winter uh how about we do some spring and then some summer yeah here's the thing that's four months or four seasons yeah you got it and then it is 12 months calendars no months 12 months and hold on all right now here i think i i i i like what you're screaming over there pig so let me i'm going to take over for just a second here what you're saying is there's four seasons per year uh fall winter spring summer all right cool and then there's 12 months 12 divided by four is going to it should be three i want three months of spring i want three months of fall i want three months of summer and most importantly i want no more than three months of winter yes if i can have it winter is my least favorite why because i get chilly i get chilly cold i have normally i'm walking around during the winter with five to six jackets on that's too many jackets i can't even fit through most doors too many jackets too much it's too much it's too much i can't and the kids are always like hey are we going to the pool now oh the pool's outside we can't go to the pool why not they're like i'd go swimming it's like you would you would you would freeze it would be terrible it'd be the worst thing ever here's my thing uh i i like winter because uh of uh christmas so i get some stuff under the tree we have the tree and it smells nice and i do like if i'm sitting by the window i like it when it snows because it looks really pretty like there's street lights out street lights on the street and um you can see the snowflakes flittering and fluttering through the street lights because the street lights have kind of a lot of light and it's kind of a little bit of an orange orange glow orange yeah orange yeah and it just looks really pretty but then i don't want to go out in it and i don't want to drive in it and i know you don't want to shovel it because you get sick of that it's just too much it's terrible but then you know they're like what's the groundhog he's just like hey bro you got six more weeks of winter and you're like oh okay i guess i can handle that i guess i can deal with it and then you're into week eight you're into nine and it's still winter and you're like bro bro we had a contract like we had an agreement

    Rufus T. Rufus: hold on a second here this is rufus t rufus and did i hear someone talk about a contract well my friend my friend my friend i am the one around the bumper podcast headquarters who talks about contracts excuse me i got a little bit of a cold that's why i don't sound quite normal today you understand because winter has not ceased to exist and so i am still feeling a little bit cold and not feeling too well however i can and i will defend your honor in court of law and i will take that contract that that varmint has put together and i will take that contract and i will take that contract and i will take that contract and i will Take it to the magistrate, and we will make it so, so, not good, but great, if you understand what I'm saying, if you understand what I mean.

    Natty Bumpercar: How you doing, Rufus? You sound, you sound really kind of sick, like you got a frog in your throat. Rufus, have you been eating frogs again? Because we told you that's not, that's frowned upon. You know, considering that I am an anthropomorphic pig, and we got dogs that talk and everything, we're asking you not to eat too many animals, because you never know. Hold on a second, I just remembered, producer from my Periscope show is a frog, please tell me that producer is not in your throat. Oh no, oh no, this is, speaking of breaking contracts, specifically in his contract, it said, do not eat me, so that's, that's against the law. You're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law, you're breaking the law!

    Rufus T. Rufus: I would never break the law! You understand, I do not break the laws, I make the laws, and every so often I swoop in and I take the laws, because that, you see, you see, you see, you see, my friend, is how it works in our society. Well, we have a bit of a pyramid, and there's people that are working, there's people that are working, and then there's other people like myself that are born into a situation. That are born into a stature, you understand, where I don't have to work if I don't want to. I was born on third base, and the ball is in left field, and I'm just gonna walk on home, if you understand, and I'm going to, I know I did not hit the ball, I was hit by a pitch, which got me on the first base, and then there was a passed ball, which ended me up on second base, and then, lo and behold, one of the infielders, he, he, he, he booted the ball, which moved me on to third base. So I got here by not doing anything in particular other than being a part of the game. I was born, I was put into the game, and now I'm on third base, and I'm walking home, because that is how our society works. I was put here for a reason, and that reason is, I was put here for a reason, and that reason is, to score points, so my friend, my friend, my friend, I'm sorry if it sounds like I have a frog in my throat, but I will not be besmirched by the likes of you or your little pink friend.

    Natty Bumpercar: Hey, uh, lip bro, no one's besmirching you, you gotta understand, you come into the kitchen, it's kind of a little bit… it's kind of a little bit warm. We're just recording a podcast, and you slipped in when you heard the whole thing about contracts, which is totally understandable, it makes a whole bunch of sense. However, we just gotta, you know, maybe point out to you, though, relax a little bit, we're having fun. This is a bumper podcast, so it's his show, and he's just gonna bibble, and he's gonna babble, and he's not necessarily gonna talk about anything in particular. But you're gonna listen to it, because you love it, because every week it comes out, and it's so much fun! Right, bro? Yeah, bro, of course, bro, bro, bro. Uh, yeah, so this is the Bumper Podcast, and I am Natty Bumpercar, and that is my friend, I'm turning your mics off just so you know, Aloysius J. Pig, he gave you a wave, and thank you for coming in, as always, Rufus T. Rufus, he is the legal counsel for all of us here at, uh, headquarters for the Bumper Podcast, and everything else that we do, including… We've been making some cool webcomics, uh, drawing some, uh, my little ants, I don't know if you've ever seen them, but they're cute, and they're, but they, sometimes they yell, and so, I think I have to maybe do a little bit more research, but we're calling that webcomic, Rants, now, because, ants, I saw that somebody had taken the name, Ants, for their comic, and I was like, ahhh, but I've been doing this for years, but I just never, I never grabbed it, I guess, and so, uh, I think Rants is kinda cute, because it makes sense. And then, on the sideline, we're, I'm trying to figure out how to, uh, I don't know if you guys ever read Snowflake, it was my comic, and it's so great, it's my, it's one of my favorite things I've ever done. But, I'm trying to figure out how I can make Snowflake, uh, uh, start it up again, but then I think I might also take all of the, uh, the strips, and cut them up so we, they can be on Instagram, and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. and so they can be their own, uh, their own thing. right? and I, cause I see, there's these webcomics that are on Instagram, and they're super cool, because, like, you can swipe on them to get the different, uh, the different panels, and I was like, I want, I want my little dudes to do that! I wish I had an intern. Does anyone wanna be an intern? Cause then you can sit around and you can cut up, I think there's roughly, like, 200 or so of these comics that need to be cut up. Uh, I'll pay you handsomely in experience! That's what, that's a funny thing they do in stand-up, uh, comedy, is, uh, people, so there's, I, I've talked about it before, but there's a lot of bad people, and they're like, hey, you wanna come do my show? And you're like, ah, I don't know, what, you know, and you're like, we gotta bring five people, and they gotta, you know, there's a ticket admission at the door, then they gotta buy drinks, and you're like, ah, my friends are gonna be out, like, $70? You know, do I get paid? And they're like, paid? Paid? Yeah, you get paid in exchange. You get paid in experience, and you're like, that's not paid! That's not, no, that's, you're taking advantage. Ladies and gentlemen who listen to the Bumper Podcast, what I want you to take away from this show, if you, if you will, is watch out, because there's people in the world who want to take advantage of you. Don't let them do that. They're predatory, mean people, who will see people coming down the, uh, boardwalk, walking around with their balloon and their, uh, their cotton candy, and they, they're like, that one, I'm gonna take that one for everything they've got. Don't let them. Don't let them. Stand up for yourself, alright? Don't, I'm not saying get in fights or get in a huff, but just be cognizant that sometimes people don't have your best interests at heart. Uh, and you want to go into the world, you don't want to be jaded, you don't want to be like, oh, the world's out to get me, but you've just got to go into the world. You've got to understand that, take care of yourself, and take care of the people around you, and your friends, and your loved ones, because, otherwise, who's gonna do it? Not, not random people. Random people are gonna try to take your cotton candy. They're gonna try to pop your balloon. And that's not acceptable. They're gonna try to take your bumper podcast away, and we just won't let them!

    Unknown: We won't let them.

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  • Bumperpodcast #308 – Whoo-wee!

    Bumperpodcast #308 – Whoo-wee!

    I missed you . I missed you. I missed you.

    There is no interview, guests, or junk. Just little old me. 

    And – after recording this, I discovered that my site was broken. Hooray for difficulties!

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

     

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar returns after a long hiatus to catch up with Bumperpodcast listeners in this solo episode. He opens with his signature silly banter about bananas before diving into why the podcast has been on hold and the challenges of scheduling interviews. Natty shares his hectic life updates, including attending a Wizards basketball game, getting a new car, and dealing with absurdly scheduled 8:30 AM and 5:00 PM work calls. He humorously recounts his exhausting Halloween schedule, juggling multiple school parades for his kids Ollie and Emerson, trick-or-treating, and the inevitable candy-induced stomach ache. Despite the chaos, Natty reminds listeners how much he's missed connecting with his Bumperpodcast friends.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I just tried bananas with bananas and it's my favorite thing even though I'm allergic to bananas.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “What were you for Halloween? What was I? I was tired.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The 8:30 call they're like well what do I do? I'm like well no updates because we last talked at 5:30 last night and everyone went home.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #parenting #worklife #schedulingchaos #trick-or-treating #familylife #podcasthiatus

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh my beans on my bananas look at you you're looking bananas i just tried bananas with bananas and it's my favorite thing even though i'm allergic to bananas hey everybody it's me it's natty bumper car and the bumper podcast has been gone for so long so long and i think i get all twisted up and jumbled up and sad because i'm like oh i want to do these interviews i want to do this thing i want to do that thing and then when i set it all up and then i can't do that thing for whatever reason technology or scheduling then i kind of like it goes on the back burner and then a couple of weeks goes by and i start to freak out because i'm like oh my goodness i haven't done a show in a long in a long time is what i just said not a long time but a long time don't two two wongs don't make a right is what's happening i'm dropping my r's you that's a good sound um and then so i start freaking out because i'm like i haven't done a show i want to do a show i like to talk to the bumper podcast friends you're my friends you're my bumper podcast coutures and uh so this morning i was like fine i can't i'm just gonna have a show i'm gonna do a show and i'm gonna talk i'm gonna uh do it do an update did i tell you about the yard sale i don't even know did i tell you that we went to a uh a wizard's basketball game wizards probably not did i tell you that we got a different car probably not there's a lot going on is what i'm telling you did i tell you that for some reason at work we have a client that is scheduling calls at 8 30 in the morning and then other calls at five at night definitely i didn't tell you that because i never talk about work and i'm not going to talk about it now but really that's a weird schedule like why would you do that to people and then here's the best part of it uh the 8 30 call they're like well what do i do i'm not going to talk about it now i'm not going to the updates i'm like well no updates because we last talked at 5 30 last night and then everyone went home and no one's in the office yet because it's 8 30 in the morning and they're like well that doesn't make any sense i'm like sure it does um what else is going on i mean like there's a lot it's it's it's november october went by halloween happened i mean what what did what were you for halloween what was i i was tired i was so tired because i had the 8 30 call and then i had wait what was is that yesterday no yesterday okay yes so we had the 8 30 call and then i had uh a 9 30 uh parade at ollie school and then at noon no 11 30 we had to pick emerson up from school to take him to lunch and get him home get him dressed in his costume take him back to the school by 12 30 and then his and then we just stood around and then his thing was at one o'clock his parade and then at four o'clock he was at school and then at five four thirty you gotta go out and you gotta start trick-or-treating and then it's like what in the world is going on and then there's all this candy and so you're eating all this stuff and then you have a stomach ache and i don't know man it's crazy i'm just telling you that a lot of crazy stuff is going on but you know what i miss you so much

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  • Bumperpodcast #306 – International podcast

    Bumperpodcast #306 – International podcast

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. We have a great interview, some call-ins, and we finally have a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    And – don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

    We don’t have a special guest, this week – because everything broke – but – we’re hoping to have one soon (fingers are crossed).

    About This Episode

    In this International Podcast Day episode, Natty Bumpercar attempts to record despite feeling under the weather, while Rufus T. Rufus tries to take over hosting duties. Aloysious J. Pig discovers there's no slop anywhere in headquarters and demands someone go shopping, leading to chaos as various characters including Doodle Poodle, Turkey, and Robot drop by the studio. Natty reflects on their busy performance schedule and shares a delightful experience eating soup dumplings in the city. Despite the disorganized recording session, the gang discusses their recent shows and hopes to return to featuring more guests and call-ins soon.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I went to the fridge there's no slop i went to the second fridge there's also no slop i went to the deep freezer there's no slop there's no there's no slop in the pantry there's no slop out in the shed”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I have a lot of friends who have tried to listen to the podcast and who have said they don't even understand it and they speak of the English. So if you don't speak the English, then it might make more sense to you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “They had soup inside of them and they were tiny so that when you chopstick them into your mouth, you would bite and it would kind of, this explosion of flavor.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #internationalpodcastday #behindthescenes #food #performing #soupdumplings #chaos #meta-podcast #comedy

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Turkey, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: now it's my understanding that today is international podcast day and so i rufus t rufus had decided to crack the microphone so i can talk to you the entire podcasting community the entire international world about what the bumper podcast is and what it does and who it's for and what it's about hey oh well look who just rolled up a bed mr netty bumper car himself yeah hey rufus um i'm so i don't feel very good today i'm kind of tired i'm kind of sick and i appreciate very much that you're um here running the show and we haven't done a show in a couple weeks and we haven't been able to get interviews and ah it's driving me crazy because we were on such a good run and we were having all sorts of fun people on the show and then the uh the software broke and we finally got that fixed but now scheduling has become an issue and i don't feel good and so i did i just didn't think i was gonna have it and made to do it today but i heard you down here and so i came downstairs and i was like oh hey bro hey pig what's going on bro not much bro just hanging out you know i hired you guys down here and uh i was going out to the store to get some slop you get me you know he was out of slop like i went to the fridge there's no slop i went to the second fridge there's also no slop i went to the deep freezer there's no slop there's no there's no slop in the pantry there's no slop out in the shed there's no slop like never once supposed to eat huh i'm just a starving pig you calm yourself down as your representation i believe it's in your rider which is your contract there is supposed to always be on hand here at headquarters some slop listen my piggy lou so bumper car yeah i know you're looking peaked i know you don't feel so good but my man he needs something to eat i'm just a starving pig you calm slop okay please get on it if you will fine okay fine fine fine i pig i didn't i don't i don't know how we're not how we're out of slop because there was slop everywhere i mean we had a whole shipment that came in like last week um i'll run to the store even though i don't feel so great and i will get you and and i'm i'm sorry and i just go to the store can you guys finish up the podcast because what are you doing do this okay sorry i'm you go bumper car you should be sorry coming on the podcast and i never heard you do that never i mean i've heard you tired before but that was a legit yawn bro that was like from yawn central from yawn valley from yonder over there go take a nap wow all right fine so i'll take over the stem i'm gonna take over the wheel i'm gonna take over the you talk i'm gonna tell you a little bit about what's been going on with me lately you talk so many shows very popular pig lately i uh hey show sunday yeah we went to the city and hung out on monday i had a show tuesday got a show wednesday oh boy on friday i gotta i gotta go into a show i don't know if we're gonna be on it or not but i gotta go and then sunday another show it's just like show after show after show after show after show after show after show after show after show and the people the people in the crowd they're all like pig aloysius j pig it's pig aloysius pig aloysius j pig that's me that's me that's me that's you i'm pig and it's the craziest thing ever i had a woman last night she came up to me at the show and she was just like i know you i met you before at a show and she was so sweet and she gave me a sweet hug and i was just like i remember you you was at that show you know it was just a nice time it's nice when you make people happy i don't know how i make people happy i'm not like a happy pig magician or nothing i ain't got no magic wand where i could be like poof now you're happy and nothing like that but i uh they may you know they seem pretty happy man i'm getting hungry how do people do this how do people talk this long without no slop i don't even understand i need some help huh okay we ain't coming for me because i got some other business to take care of i got some things i gotta handle some uh business you understand on the side that i don't really want to talk about on the air here so if you would not mind i'm gonna leave you here by yourself oh wait a minute here's somebody to help you good luck with this one

    Doodle Poodle: not what i wanted to have happen it's me don't pull hey don't pull i'm here to help yeah i got what you're doing you love to rhyme do you want to see my i would love to see it of course you want to see my we're on the radio what are you freaking out i don't care

    Natty Bumpercar: how does it even words man what are you doing i just said we're on the radio and it don't make much sense for you to be bringing in well i mean what are you gonna do use descriptive words and be like this yellow on this flower is so yellow that you're not gonna believe uh how yellow it is a bee would fly past this drawing that has a flower and try to pollinate it because that's how but it's not you know you just made a drawing which is cool and everything but again radio audio is a medium audio audio it's not a visual medium so i think we should you should go over there and i should um what should he know for pete's sake crying out loud i just heard

    Turkey: everybody down here and i thought to myself what a better place to live with this video than the color of this house because i can't talk about health health and i can't till this Failure moment fail all of my life no i can't talk about it mission failure i can talk about health in itself is plainly false strindi to be for me than with my friends.

    Unknown: Thank you.

    Robot: Yeah, get it together. I got stuck on friends. Sometimes I get stuck on friends. People say that I get… Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Here you go. They don't say you get stuck on friends. Nobody says that. That's not a thing people say. They say that you come and hang around a lot and maybe you don't offer a lot to the conversation, to the situation, if you understand what I'm saying. But they don't say, oh, robot, you know him. He gets stuck on friends. I never heard nobody say that. Never to nobody. Nobody, nobody. Oh! What is it? Hey, I'm back. I'm back. Yep, bro. Get in here. I'm so hungry right now. I can't even deal with this. How do you deal with this gaggle of characters? It's not easy. I'm going to tell you. But so I'm back. And I think the walk did me pretty good. I feel much better about the world. I don't know what happened on the podcast today, but I'm hoping that something happened, that something was said, that it wasn't just a bunch of fighting and people just walking in and walking out, offering nothing to any kind of story, just being there just for the fact that their voices are on the podcast. Because when that happens, I don't like it as much. I feel like there's no depth. Like when there's a little story that everyone is engaging in, I feel like that's a good podcast. That makes sense. And it's International Podcast Day. I don't even know if you guys knew that, but today the whole world is focused on podcasts internationally. So we are going to probably need to, you know, translate this, I'm guessing. I don't know if we know anybody who can translate this for the other countries. And then everyone's just going to love it because it's going to make a lot more sense to people. Although I will say, being someone who does, live in the America, I have a lot of friends who have tried to listen to the podcast and who have said they don't even understand it and they speak of the English. Okay? So if you don't speak the English, then it might make more sense to you. I don't know. I don't know who this makes sense for. I don't know who the target audience is. I don't know who is supposed to be listening to this. But I do know that I hope that we can get more guests on pretty soon and that we can ramp up the call-in number because I really loved it when people were calling in. And we can review more stuff and we can get more commercials on and we can do all the things that we were getting so good at and so happy with with the podcast. I don't know if Pig told you, but man, we've been having so many shows lately. Like we had a show Sunday and we actually filmed something for something else. And then Monday we went to the city and saw a band called St. Etienne, which was really fun. It was a good time. I had something in the city and it was a soup dumpling. So it was these four little dumplings and they were so hot, but they were kind of steamed, but they had soup inside of them and they were tiny so that when you chopstick them into your mouth, you would bite and it would kind of, this explosion of flavor. Like it was scallion. I think there was some ginger. I don't know, but it was, amazing. Like I don't even ever want to eat anything again. Besides that, I was trying to figure out a way if I could get on a dumpling meal plan, but evidently it doesn't exist. And then I had a show Tuesday. I had a show Wednesday. Got a show Friday. Got a show Sunday. And it's a busy time, man. It's a very busy time, but I love it. It's so exciting. And all I have to do is keep my nose above the water. I just have to maintain just a little bit longer. Just to get to the end of the road that I'm on. And then I'm going to stop just singing this song. Thank you guys so much for listening. Sorry it's been so long. We hope to get on again soon. Maybe with some guests. Got to line it up. Got to get it right. Got to do it all tonight. Tonight. Everybody with a one, two, three, international podcaster.

    Unknown: We'll see you guys next time.

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  • Bumperpodcast #300 – Finally!

    Bumperpodcast #300 – Finally!

    There is an interview. There is a review. There is excitement. It’s our 300th episode!

    I’ve been working on this podcast for over 100 years – not just this episode – but all of the episodes – and, I’ve loved every second of it. Even when my kids broke my wind screen – and when Pig tried to sell the rights to the show to a lawyer. It’s all been a blast. Thanks – so much for listening – and keep on listening for another hundred years!!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Can you believe it at all? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Oh – and – our special guest this week is Adam Lucidi!

    Go to these places to find Adam:

    Periscope: https://www.periscope.tv/adamlucidi
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/adamlucidi
    Instagram: http://instagram.com/adamlucidi
    Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/muttley738
    Website: http://adamlucidi.com/

     

     

     

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar celebrates the milestone 300th episode of the Bumperpodcast with mixed emotions when his entire team abandons him for the beach. Flying solo for most of the episode, Natty kicks things off with energy before handing the mic to Aloysius J. Pig, who interviews comedian Adam Lucidi. The conversation hilariously spirals through Pokemon trivia, sandwich debates, casting call roleplay, and Adam's upcoming move. Natty debuts a new "Reviews" segment where he enthusiastically reviews an unopened iPad Pro box, savoring the anticipation rather than actually using the product. Just when it seems the celebration is a bust, Rufus T. Rufus and Producer surprise Natty at the end, though their late arrival doesn't quite save the underwhelming milestone party.

    Memorable Quotes

    “You would think this is the 300th episode that there would be loads of characters… But guess what, people? Ain't nobody showing up here today. They all went to the beach.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're a monster to dissect a sandwich like that. What does it say? Bro, it's a salad at that point.”

    — Aloysius J. Pig

    “I'm not going to open it, because I just want to review the experience of holding this box. It's magical. It feels expensive.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #milestoneepisode #pokemon #comedy #friendship #food #technology #interviews

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: are you looking for premium content of course you are we'll look no further than sockcoprocks.com that's right sockcoprocks.com go and have fun with all of his antics all of his shenanigans what's the animal of the day i don't know but you'll find out if you go also find them on periscope and on the twitters at jason burglar and don't forget to mention that you heard it first here on the bumper podcast welcome to the bumper podcast ladies and gentlemen my name is natty bumper car this is the 300th episode of my show the bumper podcast i am blown away at how excited i am i am freaking out at how excited i am i can't even believe that there are 300 of these at this point i can't believe that on the 300th episode we have a new logo i cannot believe that we started off with a commercial for my friend sock cop oh hello sock cop i see you over there doing your thing catching your speeders there's going to be an interview in this episode we have reviews of things in this episode i'm not going to give anything away i'm not going to give away any spoilers i clearly am very energetic i just woke up from a nap which makes me pretty happy um i'm overall i'm pretty happy i'm pretty happy i'm pretty happy i'm pretty happy i'm pretty happy overall i'm blown away it's been many weeks since the last uh episode of the bumper podcast and it's because i've been trying to figure out stuff i've been trying to you know toy with the music obviously there's some new music happening at this point honestly not a fan of it now that i'm listening to it i kind of miss the old music that's fine things can go back a little bit the way they were before you know what we take a few steps forward i don't care if we take a couple of steps back that's fine you would think This is the 300th episode that there would be loads of characters. Maybe Pig would show up. Maybe Producer would show up. Maybe Robot would show up. Maybe Rufus T. Rufus would show up. But guess what, people? Ain't nobody showing up here today. They all went to the beach. Everybody went to the beach without me, which is another reason why I'm sitting here recording this by myself. I'm fine with it. I'm actually excited by it because it means that I get to drive the ship that I initially made. Sounds like we've now gotten rid of the music completely. Okay, that's an… What is this? It's like on a weird random where they're just grabbing weird loops. Is there anybody in the booth right now? Like, who is running the music? It's just, I guess it's just doing it itself because it is dark in there. There is nothing happening in there. This is abominable, though. For a 300th episode, I was hoping for confetti. I was hoping… Honestly, if I'm to be honest, I like to be honest, and when I'm honest, I like to be honest. I was hoping for some sort of cake. Maybe, like, everybody was going to come in, surprise me, like, oh, hey, we got you a cake, and look, here's a bag of goodies. But that didn't happen. 300 episodes, and I feel like you probably know at this point, I certainly know at this point, that my team doesn't respect me. They don't, you know, care what I want. They don't care what I think, and that's fine. I completely understand that. That's… I was talking to my son the other day, and he got this weird, concerned look in his eye, and he just, he started shaking his head, and he's like, sometimes there's just too much, right? And I was like, you're seven. Don't you say sometimes there's just too much. Like, I know sometimes there's just too much, but I don't need my seven-year-old to start, you know, backing me up on that. A teacher at my kid's daycare the other day just said, you're going to break, right? And I was just like, ah, yeah, I might break. You know, like, sometimes I feel like I'm going to break. I'm not going to break. I feel like I'm feeling pretty good. I did just, again, wake up from a nap, because I was excited about the 300th episode. I feel like I used all my energy right at the beginning of the show, and now I'm kind of at a point where I'm a little bit low energy. I think what I might do, if you're okay with this, is I might kick it over to my friend and yours, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Aloysius J. Pig wrangled up. A good friend of mine, a comedian that you have heard on the show before. I talk about him often. Big fan of him. He recently went through some changes. That's all I'm going to say. I don't know if they talk about it in the interview. I haven't listened to it. What I do is I take the audio that I'm given, and then I plug it into the show, and then I look to see what people say about it. I can't be bothered to listen to it, because Pig, he says mean things about me sometimes, but he's a good friend of mine. He's going to say great things about his guest. I'm not going to spoil it, but I will let them get into it. Ladies and gentlemen, here is Aloysius J. Pig interviewing Mr. Adam Lucidi. I just gave it away. God, I'm so terrible at this. Man.

    Producer: Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know where he is. He's supposed to be interviewing somebody. It's me, producer, and I am sitting here just waiting. I think the guest is actually… I don't know the line, but I don't know, because I don't know how to work the machine. Piggy… Hey, get away from the… Okay. No, I said get away from the… Okay. Well, I'm sorry. I just was trying to be nice to the guest.

    Natty Bumpercar: Who is the… We have a guest? I thought we stopped doing that on the show. It was too much work. I don't actually like talking, but who's… Give me the sheet. Give me the sheet of paper.

    Unknown: Who is it?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, seriously? All right, fine. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, you know what? We… We probably had to stew it on a few times. I hope you ain't getting sick of him. I certainly ain't, because he's a hoot. He's a holler. Everybody loves him. Please give a warm… I know… What? They can't give a warm welcome? But, like, in the cars, wherever they listen to this. Nobody listens? Okay, perfect. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be big for his career. I can tell already. Give it up for the one, the only… Andrew Insidi! Is that what he said? No, it's not what it says. What does it say? Uh… Adam! Adam! Adam, my pal! We're going to cut all this, right? Perfect. Go ahead and start talking. Hey, Adam, how you doing?

    Unknown: I'm good, Pic. That was… Uh… I don't know if I should be, uh, upset or offended or happy or… No, no. Because I heard… I heard you say, you know, seriously? Like, you know, you didn't want me as a guest. You want me as a guest?

    Natty Bumpercar: I… Wait. You were supposed to be on mute. You're in the green room, and that's supposed to be a soundproof booth, so what are you talking about?

    Unknown: I don't… You need to… Yeah, you need to re-soundproof it.

    Natty Bumpercar: What part did… Did you… So you heard where I was all, like, excited that you was going to be on a show?

    Unknown: I heard you were excited, but then I also heard that you were, like, irritated. Yeah, okay. So I… I heard the two…

    Natty Bumpercar: Two feelings. That was a little bit of a… It was a test, because I was… I never got… I never got excited. I was… Oh. I know. And so you… You know, you passed… You passed the flying colors. You're a nice guy. Clearly too nice for this room, so it was great having you. And… What? We can't get rid of him? Okay. Well, then, you know what? We're going to keep talking to you. Tell me about yourself. What's your favorite food? What's your favorite color? Anyway, so what… How about the weather? I don't… I don't know what to talk about. No, seriously.

    Unknown: Tell me about yourself. Well, I mean, you know, I'm not Andrew Moomsidi, or, you know, that's… That's one thing about me. Is this the most aggressive I've ever…

    Natty Bumpercar: The most aggressive I've ever been with you?

    Unknown: I don't know. I think it is. Yeah. You… I feel like you… You've gone Hollywood or something on me. You're…

    Natty Bumpercar: You're too big for me now. Well, I just put the kids to bed, and they really get me into a stressful mood. I probably shouldn't interview people right after that, because I… They… I'm like, Bumper Cop, please don't make me put the babies to bed. And he's like, you know, do it. And I'm like, ugh. And then, you know, so I got a lot of… I'm wearing a lot of hats. I'm spinning a lot of plates. So your name's not Andrew. We know that already. You're the dude… You're the dude who eats food? Is that… Is that… What's your gig? I… I eat foods. I drink… I drink drinks. Oh. You're really multitasking there at the same time?

    Unknown: Yeah. Yeah. I breathe air. Oh. I see things. I hear things. Do you do stuff? I do so much stuff.

    Natty Bumpercar: Tell me one thing that you do, and that nobody knows about you. This is a little secret. It's just between you and me. Nobody's listening, probably.

    Unknown: No. Okay. I still play Pokemon Go. No. That… They shut that down a while ago, like months and months ago.

    Natty Bumpercar: No. It's still a thing. It still happens. I don't know. Hold on.

    Unknown: Hey, producer. Can you get the CEO of Niantic on the line?

    Natty Bumpercar: I want to see. You can't? Okay. This is actually our own line. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

    Unknown: Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

    Unknown: I mean, this was our only line, so we can't. Well, now I feel like you still dabble in Pokemon Go, because you remember the name of the business. I don't even know the name of the… I didn't know the name of the company.

    Natty Bumpercar: I was at a trade fair, and I got a temporary tattoo of Niantic, and I'm a pig, so I didn't shower that much, so it's still on there a little bit.

    Unknown: All right. Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, I'm just kidding. I mean, I dabble. You know, I dabble. Actually, tonight I found out. Do you know when Pokemon first started?

    Unknown: Wasn't it in, like, 97?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, it was 96. That's very impressive. Okay. Now we're doing Pokemon trivia. Do you know who the first Pokemon was?

    Unknown: First? Well, in the Pokedex or, like, in the universe?

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm not talking Bulbasaur here, okay? I'm talking, it's a dude you're not going to know. You might know him. I mean, you might know his name.

    Unknown: Wasn't the first one Mew?

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm helping you out.

    Unknown: I didn't know if you were going to say Ro-Ro-Ro-Wrong or Ro-Ro-Ro-Right.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, this is how I get things out of my kids. Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro-Right-Right-Right-Right-Right-Right-On. It's Right-On.

    Unknown: He was the first. The first ever?

    Natty Bumpercar: That's what the internet told me tonight. The babies, they was like, we can't go to bed until you tell us who the first Pokemon was. And I was just like, oh, fine. And then they were like, ask Siri. Because they know how Siri works. And I was just like, dear Siri. Because that's how I address her.

    Unknown: So you're talking, are you talking, like, first one, like, created? Or, like, first one in existence? Like, what, I don't know. I don't know where you're going with Right-On. I don't think that that's accurate.

    Natty Bumpercar: Bro, I said to the dude, Ed, I was just like, tell me who the first Pokemon was. And it told me.

    Unknown: And it said Right-On. Yes. Not Rhyhorn. Rhyhorn comes before Right-On.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's not the number in the deck, bro. It's, it's, it's like, so, okay. Question. Question. Who is the first Pokemon? Quote. Anti-quote. In real life. If it's an anti-quote, then it's not real. Now you, now you're being aggressive.

    Unknown: I'm saying, I'm, I, you're saying, you know, anti-quote, that obviously means it's not real. I, I, I. Anti-quote means no.

    Natty Bumpercar: I, I, I feel like we didn't really get into your wheelhouse until we started talking about Pokemon. Because I feel like you think you know some things. When, in fact, you don't know. And I quote, my friend. In real life, the first Pokemon is not what appears in the Pokedex first, which we all know is Bulbasaur. Uh, or what legendary Pokemon is said to have created everything. I ain't sure who that is, if I'm to be honest. In fact, the first Pokemon ever designed in real life. It says real life here. The first monster. Did you know they was monsters? Yeah, pocket monsters.

    Unknown: Pokemon.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's where the name came from? Yeah. Oh, now see, I feel like I'm learning something, too.

    Unknown: There you go.

    Natty Bumpercar: I was just trying to make you feel better. I knew that. Uh, in fact, the first Pokemon ever designed in real life. The first monster written into the code of the original games. Dash. Is surprising. What's this word? Surprisingly ordinary. Period. It's Rhydon. And I close quote.

    Unknown: Huh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. That's what, that's what, that's what it says here.

    Unknown: And is it? I guess there's a circle right underneath it that says the first Pokemon ever created isn't what you think.

    Natty Bumpercar: Uh-huh. See? Wait, what are you doing? You're Googling? Are you doing this now, too?

    Unknown: I'm Googling now. Because you got me concerned and interested.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, you don't believe me, is what it comes down, is what it boils down to.

    Unknown: I couldn't believe you.

    Natty Bumpercar: I know things. I have facts. I walk around the street and people are very impressed with me. They're like, that pig knows things.

    Unknown: That pig is going places. That pig knows that Rhydon is the first Pokemon.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know what? I bet by the time my head hits my hay pillow tonight, I'd probably forget it, if I'm to be honest.

    Unknown: I don't know. You're going to be all comfy in bed. And then all of a sudden, it's going to hit you. You're going to go, I can't Rhydon.

    Natty Bumpercar: I see. I'm going to look up. I want to see if I have a Rhydon in my Pokedex. Now we're literally just talking. Hey, what's up, Niantic? I like your little logo. It's right here on my ankle. Niantic. Oh, who is this? Oh, man. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. There's loading going on.

    Unknown: Oh, yeah. There's been a lot of updates.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I ain't launched in a long time. So, speaking of updates, why don't you give the crowd some updates about yourself? What's going on in your world? I heard you was getting rid of an air conditioner. I bet you regret that tonight, huh?

    Unknown: Well, I'm holding on to it until the last day that I have to be here.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, it's smart. That's smart.

    Unknown: Yeah, that's part of the deal. You know, the person can get it for free, but I get to hold on to it until the very last possible second.

    Natty Bumpercar: I like that idea. All right. Now, how do I play it? It's we've loaded. I'm pushing the ball. I'm pushing the Pokedex. I don't know how to find it, though.

    Unknown: I think he's like 100. No, maybe not. I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I think he's in 120s.

    Unknown: No. Yeah, because they did the update with, like, now there's the Generation 2 Pokemon.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no. There's a whole big bunch of them.

    Unknown: Yeah. I can't.

    Natty Bumpercar: I can't. You know what?

    Unknown: There's ones where it says that, you know, Pikachu is an evolved form. So, yeah, I don't know. I only acknowledge one through 151.

    Natty Bumpercar: I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Did you know Bumpka in grade school, when he was in grade school, one of the projects he did is called 60 Second Pokemon. And what just happened? Was that your glass case that you're trying to sell? Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone wants to buy a glass display case, go to Edom's house.

    Unknown: I dropped my Pokedex.

    Natty Bumpercar: Your phone?

    Unknown: No, I have a real Pokedex. Huh? What the? Huh? They had that. They had that. It was a real Pokedex, and it had, like, a little screen on it. And it would, you know, you could look up all the different Pokemon. It would tell you about them and stuff like that. And it was shaped like the actual Pokedex.

    Natty Bumpercar: Really? Mm-hmm. Is your last name Ketchum? I wish. Andrew Ketchum. I think. What? What happened? Andrew Ketchum. Andrew Ketchum. That's my name.

    Unknown: I'm going to say your next comic, Andrew Ketchum.

    Natty Bumpercar: I switched it to Ketchup already. I already made it even funnier.

    Unknown: Oh, you switched it?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, you might have seen your next comic on Amazon Prime. Give it up for Andrew Ketchum. There he is. There he is. What did you eat for dinner tonight? I'm so hungry.

    Unknown: What did I eat? I had, like, a beef wellington kind of gimmick. It was some white rice with some beef tips.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, oh, well, hello, fancy man, huh? I had no idea. Somebody gets a girl, and all of a sudden, he's eating beef wellington. And he'll have a spot of Earl Grey as well, I suppose.

    Unknown: It's a quick little… You just, you know, put some rice in a pot, and then there's this thing you can get at Walmart or Acme, and it's the Hormel beef tips. You just pop it in the microwave for three minutes, mix the beef tips with the rice, boom, you got a nice little quick meal.

    Natty Bumpercar: Sounds like you got a very healthy meal. There's a lot of greens to it. There's a lot of… Sounds like a lot of vitamins and minerals. No, no, there's none. You're literally, you're just, you're not. You're not even trying.

    Unknown: It's colorblind. And so the, I mean, the beef tips could be green. I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: I assumed the white, the rice was white rice, bleached.

    Unknown: As far as I know, I'm colorblind. I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're colorblind?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you have, you trick, you pull my leg. You pull my leg, my hoof right off from under me.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think I'm going to, I'm going to stop being people's personal trainer, so personal chef and whatnot. So maybe I'm going to, you want to hire me? I can, I can tell you how to eat food that you're not going to like to eat.

    Unknown: I mean, what kind of, what kind of dishes do you make? Have you heard of Brussels sprouts?

    Natty Bumpercar: Raw. Raw Brussels sprouts.

    Unknown: I don't know. Well, I don't know. Raw. I tried to put them in the oven once. They shrink. I didn't realize that they.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah, they're good. If you do, if you take Brussels sprouts, you put them in the oven, you quarter them, bing, bing, bing, cut the bottom off, you know, a little bit, and then quarter them, boom, boom, bing. And then you put them in the oven with maybe a little bit of garlic or whatever, some olive oil. Come on. What are you doing? Oh, oh, some red pepper, like, you know, like shake, like pizza pepper, whatever it's called, red pepper. Oh, it's so good. Oh. I didn't know that.

    Unknown: I don't know what you're talking about.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Oh, I cook. Oh, I'm, I'm a very culinary pig, you know? And if you leave them in there a long time, since, since they're quartered, sometimes they'll get like crispy.

    Unknown: Oh, it's so good. Yeah. I do like them a little crispy, but I didn't realize that they shrink so small. I didn't know that.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. They're tiny. You know why? Because they're full of water. Cause they're little plants. And so you put them in the oven, all the water evaporates. They get tiny. Huh? You're like, see you later. Mashed potato like that.

    Unknown: Yeah. Ooh, mashed potatoes. Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: See? Yeah. Potatoes are grot. Yum. Oh, this is pretty much any potatoes. I like potatoes. Here's what blows my mind about the kids here. Cause I cook for them sometimes. They're like, yeah, we want French fries. Yeah. We want chips. And that's it. They don't understand the beauty of the potato. It can go to anywhere. Right?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Mashed. Mashed. Utter. I don't know. Other. Tarts. Oh, they don't, they don't do tarts.

    Unknown: What?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I don't know.

    Unknown: Why do they not do tarts?

    Natty Bumpercar: Bro, they ain't, I mean, I ain't going to say nothing because this is bumper car show, but they ain't, I'm not very smart. You know, they're cute as buttons, but they're just, you're just like, you can put all the potatoes in the world in front of them and they'll be like, nope, none of that potato. That potato. Yeah. One potato. Yeah. Two potato. Yeah. Three potato.

    Unknown: They've been, they've been. They've been exposed to tarts. Have they not?

    Natty Bumpercar: Are you trying to, is that like a Dr. Seuss thing you're doing?

    Unknown: No, I'm just, I'm just, I guess it would be, but have they, they've experienced them before, right? They've been around them.

    Natty Bumpercar: Tarts and tarts. A lot. A lot. They eat them. No, they eat them. Not. Let's see what I just did. No. Yeah. They, they, we've tried. We bought a big bag of tarts and, uh, it's actually in the, it's, it's, it's called bag of tarts and they won't even do it.

    Unknown: Like a pillowcase.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. And they won't, they won't touch them. But I mean, sometimes, I mean, every so often they'll, they'll, they'll give it a shot, but really they, they, they fight it and they don't understand.

    Unknown: Yeah. That's bizarre. I thought all kids and man children love tarts.

    Natty Bumpercar: You thought all animals in the world love tater tots. Yeah. It's like you would walk into a Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head's dinner and they'd be eating a potato tart and you'd just be like, that makes sense. Yeah.

    Unknown: They would still be. Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: It makes sense. They, Pringles, of course they're going to eat tater tots. Ugh.

    Unknown: I'm kind of disappointed in the, the baby bumper cars.

    Natty Bumpercar: So that's what took, that's what it took to disappoint you. None of the stuff that I said last night on stage, that didn't, you were fine with that.

    Unknown: Yeah. All right. That's absolutely fine. No. But, ugh. Tater tots. The lack of tots is just mind boggling.

    Natty Bumpercar: Maybe it'll come back in. You know, it's maybe over the summer, maybe, because here's the thing, they have stages. So all of a sudden they'll just be like, you know what? I eat, uh, I eat fish now. Whatever. No, like they'll, what are they eating?

    Unknown: They just start their day by declaring things like that. I eat fish now.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes. That's what they do. Like we, I go to, uh, Jersey Mike's a lot and I get sandwiches, sandwiches. And, uh, I get, uh, I forget what I get. It's delicious or whatever I get. And, uh, one day we went there like a few weeks in a row and Emerson was like, I want part of your sandwich. And I was like, whoa, bro, you sure? It's got all the, you know, and I was like, and he was like, let me take a bite. And he did. And I didn't tell him I was in it cause I didn't want to ruin him. So he, he, a couple of times he tried and he tried, he was like, I'm going to get me a sandwich. And I was like, okay. And he was like, but keep the onions off. And I was like, oh, he did know he did know there were onions. Okay. So he's figuring things out. Wow. So, but I was just out of the blue. He's just all of a sudden I was like, yeah, I'm gonna eat a sandwich. I was like, okay, who, who are you?

    Unknown: Yeah. What have you done with my kid?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. And here's the thing. If I put all this stuff that was on the sandwich in a bowl in front of him, it would walk away. It would be like, I'll eat the bread and that's about it.

    Unknown: Well, why would you, you're talking about taking a sandwich, dissecting a sandwich and putting it in a bowl.

    Natty Bumpercar: Deconstructed sandwich. Okay. Watch a little bit more food network. No, it'd be, it'd be terrible.

    Unknown: You're a monster to, to dissect a sandwich like that. What does it say?

    Natty Bumpercar: Bro, it's, it's a salad at that point.

    Unknown: What are you doing? I mean, who wants a, who wants a sandwich salad?

    Natty Bumpercar: Um, sounds like you just invented a new population. Pop-up stand at the mall, sandwich salad. Who wants it? Get in. Actually, I ate a sandwich today and the dude behind me, they were like, how can we help you, sir? And he went, I'll have a tossed salad. And they were like, huh? What do you mean? We turned, cause they do, they turn sandwiches into salads and they were like, which number would you like? And he was like a tossed salad, like angry that they weren't getting what he was saying. And it was, and so I just kind of stood back and watched the whole. Interaction.

    Unknown: Well, I mean, I, I guess you could have, like, now that I'm thinking about it, I guess you could have like an antipasto is like a, a sandwich, a sandwich salad.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. So, so maybe somebody is coming back around a little bit.

    Unknown: Cause you got the ham and the salami.

    Natty Bumpercar: Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh, uh, I heard, I heard cheese. Is that the only thing I heard there?

    Unknown: Salami.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. What's that one? I don't, um. Salami. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Bro. Turkey. A chicken. That's about it. That's all we're doing. All right. Maybe, maybe a grilled vegetable.

    Unknown: I just, I mean, I was just saying there's, there is ham in there.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why do you keep, why do you hate me? Is that what this is now? You're just being mean?

    Unknown: Why? Don't you have like a, a sensor butt? You can bleep that out later. Oh, that's true. A producer.

    Natty Bumpercar: Do the button thing.

    Producer: Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: He's still over there in the corner. He's upset from earlier. Um, so listen, you know what? We, I, this is fun. I gotta, but I gotta go. Cause. Was it, was it because I said ham too much? Yeah. I mean, it, well, if I'm to be honest, we're on the clock. Number one. Number two. I did feel like after you found my weak point, you kind of kept prodding it. You kind of kept poking it. Right.

    Unknown: I didn't even, you know, it was, it was an honest mistake.

    Natty Bumpercar: If I was just like, Hey, I'm a pig. I'm a comedian. I wear hats backwards. Hey, everybody look at me. Why is the male, the male boy here? Whatever your joke is. I don't know. It's funny though.

    Unknown: The male boy. You turned me into a stripper.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why is the male boy here? Have you noticed? So in this interview, uh, I had laryngitis for a while. So I didn't talk that my voice ain't, it don't sound quite like how it used to sound.

    Unknown: No, I didn't notice. No. Okay, good.

    Natty Bumpercar: Then nobody else is going to notice. We're going to edit that part out too. Okay. Yeah.

    Unknown: I didn't notice. So listen, uh, you, this is for episode 300. Thank you for being our special guest, right?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Are you going to have 300 Spartans run in on your episode too? Yeah. We've been, I've been trying to learn all the lines and I'm actually shirtless right now. If I'm feeling. Yeah. I wish.

    Unknown: I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish.

    Natty Bumpercar: I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish.

    Unknown: I wish.

    Natty Bumpercar: I wish. I wish I could pull a line from the movie. That seems like it would've been a good part.

    Unknown: I mean, I really only just, this is Sparta and that's about it. It's really not a memorable line.

    Natty Bumpercar: Are they robots? Is that why they sounded like that?

    Unknown: Yeah. They're 300 robots. This is Sparta.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is that why you do comedy and don't do acting?

    Unknown: Boob beat. This is Sparta.

    Natty Bumpercar: What's my line again? This is Sparta. Perfect. And scene.

    Unknown: What would you say, Pete? What would people want out of it? How would you I would be like, I'd be all like, I don't know. I'm the I'm the the casting director. Welcome. How are you doing today? No, thank you.

    Natty Bumpercar: I didn't get to say the line. You didn't even you didn't say speed.

    Unknown: I'm just say I listen. I'm just looking at your look. You're a pig. Not what we're looking. I've been working out for this. Not what I'm sorry. It's not what we're looking for.

    Natty Bumpercar: I've been working on my roar. Do you know what that is? Please, sir. This is all I got. This is all I got.

    Unknown: A hundred and twenty two other people to look through that. We're probably going to say no to also.

    Natty Bumpercar: But how many pigs?

    Unknown: You're the first one. But I say say not what we're looking. You have a unique look. We'll call you if we have any openings in the future for anything.

    Natty Bumpercar: I just don't want you to worry about typecasting me is what I'm saying. I'm tough. I can handle it. Just pigeonhole me. Put me in there and I will make the audience's squeal.

    Unknown: Like I'm not going to. We're not going to say like a pig. We might piggyhole you, but we're not going to pigeonhole.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know what just happened. I don't even know what just happened.

    Unknown: Please don't cry. Please just leave my.

    Natty Bumpercar: I was on a podcast. I have a lot of experience with this. We did 300 episodes and I was all like, this is Sparta. I like that. See, I practiced.

    Unknown: You did. But I mean, your second mistake was you brought up your podcast during this casting session and everyone has a podcast.

    Natty Bumpercar: Why do you listen to it?

    Unknown: No. Oh, wow. I saw it on your resume. I saw it on the back of your headshot. And I'm going to assume based off of the backdrop that. New Jersey comic Mike Salona did your headshot.

    Natty Bumpercar: True. True. Now, listen, I got to ask you if I do, you know, get the part because I feel like we're really vibing right now. Is is this Niantic tattoo going to be a problem or not?

    Unknown: Well, we're going to have to do some sort of makeup. But I mean, you're you're not getting this part.

    Natty Bumpercar: I feel like you're starting to shine to me is all I'm saying. I feel like there's some sort of, you know, thing. Thing happening right now.

    Unknown: I've already I've already spent way too much time on you. I have seven hundred and forty seven people to look through now.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know what? I'm going to do you a favor. I'm going to head on out of here, but I'll give you a call back. OK, I'm going to call you back.

    Unknown: No, please don't. Please don't. I get flooded with emails. I get flooded with emails. They go right to my spam. Now, did I get it? Did I? Hello. Just checking in. Thanks so much. I don't read them. I don't read them.

    Natty Bumpercar: You must be mistaken. I'm not going to email you. I know where you live. I'm going to stop by. We're going to nosh, you know, maybe have a salad sandwich. I don't know what we're going to do, but it's going to be a nice time. And scene. All right. Well, listen, episode three hundred. This is Sparta. And I am. I wish to say, Peg, you are.

    Unknown: Adam Lucidi.

    Natty Bumpercar: Are you sure? Well, that is not what the paper says. That is not what this piece of paper says.

    Unknown: I know, but it was a typo and your autocorrect doesn't work for some reason.

    Natty Bumpercar: All right. And Andrew Ketchup is here, everyone. Hey, so when you are you going to still be you'll still be part of the show moving into the future, huh?

    Unknown: What show?

    Natty Bumpercar: This podcast. Not like I mean, I'm not asking you to be part of the show. I'm just saying every so often we might call you and talk to you because you seem to. Talk, OK.

    Unknown: Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can call me if you need to.

    Natty Bumpercar: You got you got good words. You're not going to like, I don't know, move and change your number. Nothing, huh?

    Unknown: No, no. I'm not going to change my number, change my name or anything like that. You know how to get a hold of me.

    Natty Bumpercar: OK, because I worry about you, you know, big world out there.

    Unknown: I know it's a big world. It's a big, scary world. But, you know, I mean, I'll always be your best pal.

    Natty Bumpercar: You literally just tonight found out the Brussels spouts. Drink in the oven. So, I mean, I feel like you've got a lot to learn.

    Unknown: And I'm excited. I'm excited to learn things like that out there.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, here's your next. Here's your next tip. Beef Wellington.

    Unknown: Not really beef. But it says beef tips on the box.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you read the back of the front? The front. OK. OK. OK. You have a good night. All right. I want you to have a good night. Just don't flip the box over. Don't. Dig in the trash and pull the back out. All right. OK. Because, you know what? You just ate my friend. What? Beet tips. They're actually rutabaga beets. That's what you.

    Unknown: Well, then there you go. There's my little bit of healthy then. Oh, look at you bringing it around.

    Natty Bumpercar: Look at you. All right. Producer, are we done? Why don't you talk? Just you nodding. OK. Yeah, he goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Adam Lucidi. Thank you so much. Always a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. So 300. And click. OK. So that was the end of the interview, I guess. Aloysius J. Pig, I want to thank Adam Lucidi for being on the show, the big 300th episode. Very happy to always have him here. A lot of stuff was talked about. I heard some stuff about Pokemon. I heard some stuff about Adam leaving. I had no idea about that. So that was news to me. And, oh, cool. The music started up again. Good. Because I was worried. I was worried that that was going to be gone for the whole episode. Anyway, I don't care. Episode 300. We are here. We made it. I'm happy. You're happy. You heard from Adam. Everyone loves Adam. You heard from Pig. Everyone loves Pig. I would love for Pig to be here so that I could do, like, that kind of thing that we did. OK. After some of the old episodes where he would be like, hey, Pig, what did you think of the interview? Whatever. He would probably say mean things. He'd be like, rah, rah, rah. I'm Pig. I don't like blah, blah. Whatever he says. I don't know. Anyway, it is now time, because we're just rocketing through. We have new segments. And I'm excited. I'm digging into my toy chest here. And we have a new segment right now. And it's called Reviews. And that's where we review cool things. And this review, I'm pretty excited about myself, because I've been excited to get this thing in the house for a long time. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, here it is, the Reviews. All right. Hey, everybody. It's me again, Natty Bumpercar, with the Reviews. Today, we have a bag. You hear this bag? That's a bag. I'm going to take the first thing out of this bag. It is a white bag. I'm taking the box out of the bag. I'm going to hold this box up to the microphone, even though you cannot see it. It is a box. An unopened iPad Pro 10.5 inch. The newest of the new. The happiest of the happiest. The best of the best. I am so excited. I am so excited about this. I have been waiting for Apple to update the iPad Pro into this new version, because I've always drawn with a Wacom tablet, and haven't always, but for the past few years. And so, I was waiting for one that I could carry around. Well, now I have it. So, here it is. I'm not going to open it, because I just want to review the experience of holding this box. It's magical. It feels expensive. It feels like it's very expensive, is how it feels. Oh, and look. Hold on. In the box, also, we have another little tinier box. It's a smaller box. This is a box. This is the cover. The smart cover. So, it's got like a little keyboard here. It's thinner than the other box. It's also white. So, that's cool. It feels expensive, also. Not as expensive as the iPad, obviously. Rooting around in the box. And… Oh! Oh, yeah. Okay. Look at this. We have a receipt. That's always exciting to get. And, of course, one more box. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the Apple Pencil. It's a white box, also. I can't not wait to use them. Alright, so that's sort of the new episodes. New episodes. New sections of the podcast. It's reviews. I feel like it went pretty well. I got an iPad Pro. It's not opened yet. You know. What can I say? It's in a box. I like staring at the box. It gives me the feeling of potential. Right? Something exciting is going to happen. Until my children come along, rip it out of my hands, and break it like they do everything else in my life. I have so many stories to catch you guys up on. So much stuff has happened since the last time I recorded. But, I feel like we've been talking long enough. This is almost 40 minutes. Happy 300th episode, everybody. I've been Natty Bumpercar, and I, um… Oh.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, Bumpercar. You didn't think that we was going to let you have this little party all by yourself, did you? With a Rufus T. Rufus jumping up in the pool. Jumping up in the scene. Jumping up in the spot.

    Natty Bumpercar: If you know what I mean. Yeah, well… We did a rap song here. That was good. Hey, Bumpercar, happy 300th ep… Episode. Happy 300… What's wrong with you? 300… I can't. Are you okay? Happy three. Happy number three. I'm done. This is me. How was that interview? Did you like it? It was great. Adam's was great. The review you did was great. I accidentally broke the box. What? What? The thing that was in the box shattered. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

    Producer: I'm happy to be here, too. I'm so happy that I was invited.

    Natty Bumpercar: You actually weren't invited. Just so you know, bro. Let's be nice. Oh, that's fine. I'm happy about that, too. Thanks. Okay.

    Producer: We've been hiding in the booth your whole time you were recording your show, and it was so good. You did a wonderful job. Thank you. Even without producer. Yeah, well. You barely need me. I actually wrote you a song. Oh, a song? That's cool. Do you want to hear how it goes? Do you want to hear how it goes?

    Natty Bumpercar: Honestly, I'm good. I think we're at the end of the show, and we don't really need to hear the song right

    Producer: now. Okay. No, that makes sense. That's good. That's fine. Okay. Okay. Well, that's the end of the episode, anyway. Thanks. Really? Okay. All right. Thank you. Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. I'm going to finish the episode. Okay. So, anyway, guys, again, what I was saying, it was so cool to have you and everything, and I was just…

    Unknown: Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you in the next episode.

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  • Bumperpodcast #298 – Laser Lightning Muffins

    Bumperpodcast #298 – Laser Lightning Muffins

    Lasers – Lightning – Explosions – Muffins! It’s a hyperactive and hyper-short edition of the Bumperpodcast!

    This is a ‘Laser Lightning’ version of the Bumperpodcast – which is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    Do you think about muffins? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this laser lightning edition of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar celebrates the incredible muffin bounty left over from Mother's Day at his house. Unable to contain his excitement, Natty breaks into an improvisational song about muffins, passionately singing about eating muffins for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He then provides a detailed inventory of the various muffin types enjoyed, including blueberry, orange cranberry, cinnamon, corn, chocolate, and the mysteriously named 'morning glory' muffins. Natty also discusses his desire for a 'squish of espresso' and mentions the scones and cheesy grits that rounded out the feast. This episode is a hilarious celebration of baked goods and post-holiday leftovers.

    Memorable Quotes

    “The only way I feel like I can explain my excitement about these muffins to you is through song.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Why don't we have squishes espresso? I want a squish espresso man. I don't even drink coffee but I think I would definitely drink a squish espresso.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “This podcast is about making you hungry. This podcast is about feeding your soul.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #muffins #mothersday #food #baking #songs #leftovers #breakfast

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh it is natty bumper car and this is your laser lightning edition of the bumper podcast where i wish put the light do the sounds laser laser lightning lightning and today we're going to talk about muffins why because we had mother's day at my house and we had so many people and we had so many muffins and you know what they left so many muffins and the only way i feel like i can explain my excitement about these muffins to you is through song so hit it oh all right okay we go muffin muffin muffin we say muffin muffin come on muffin muffin muffin muffin muffin muffin muffin what kind of muffin my muffin i'm eating all the muffins i'm eating all the muffins all day all night eat muffins for dinner for breakfast for lunch for time all times i don't eat muffins i go muffin i go muffin i go muffins now go like this come on come on we go muffin come on come on i say muffin one time muffin two times muffin three times all the time with the muffin go muffin go muffin i say muffin go muffin you're gonna walk around all day all night and all you're gonna think about is muffins muffins now stop boom ladies and gentlemen here's what kind of muffins i had i had blueberry muffins i had orange cranberry muffins i had cinnamon muffins i had corn muffins i had something called a what was it it was a weird name it was like morning highlight muffin that's not what it was called though i'll have one of your morning highlight muffins please and if i could just have a squish of of a squish of espresso please why don't we have squishes espresso i want a squish espresso man i don't even drink coffee but i think i would definitely drink a squish espresso i had other kind of muffins morning morning that's what it was called weird that's in my head uh oh man i want some morning glory muffins right you guys got some i just want a whole case of them a baker's dozen if you will of your morning glory muffins gonna take them to the office and have everybody eat up on them um there were other muffins too there was chocolate muffins obzy ob totes obziously um i think that was it is that really it i feel like there's gonna be a lot more muffins oh well you know what there were a lot of muffins and you know what else there were you know that we had those scones those scones we had a lot of scones we had one scone two scone maybe a few other scones we had so much food i made grits cheesy grits what i'm just making you hungry this podcast is about making you hungry this podcast is about feeding your soul it's bumper what's happening who's doing that make that stop turn that thing off come on if we can't act right we can't act at all this episode of the podcast laser lightning episode expedition has been brought to you by the one the only the muffin council of the world

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