Angry. Angry. Angry. About the constant attack from spider webs . . .
Whose planet is this anyway?!
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About This Episode
In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar goes on a hilarious rant about his nemesis: spider webs. After walking through yet another web in the middle of a field, Natty declares war on spiders and their "poop" (his fake science theory about what spider webs really are). He extends this theory to silk, suggesting fashionistas are wearing worm poop. Despite his frustration, Natty invents a spinning umbrella-like contraption to clear spider webs from his path while insisting he doesn't actually want to hurt spiders. The episode showcases Natty's trademark improvisational comedy and absurdist problem-solving.
Memorable Quotes
“Spider webs are can I clue you in it's it's poop. You're walking essentially walking through spider poop I think.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“You fashionistas in your big cities wearing your worm poop but I'm not angry at worms they're just doing their job.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“I don't want to hurt a spider. I know they're our friend. But friends, don't make me walk through there.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #spiders #inventions #fakescience #fashion #nature #problemsolving #comedyrant
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
Full Transcript
Natty Bumpercar: i am so angry i'm so serious you guys i mean last night i was walking around outside in the middle of a field and i get hit by a spider web i mean there was nowhere in the world for the spiders to be and yet how come every time i have to walk around on my planet i'm laying claim to my planet that i have to walk through uh spider webs because it's ridiculous it's not fair because you know what spider webs are can i clue you in it's it's poop it's not fair you're walking through spider you're walking essentially walking through spider poop i think i don't you know and here's the thing having a baby starting to realize don't know a lot of stuff so i'm inventing faux science fake science it's a fake front it's a faux front so spider webs are poop and you know what ladies wearing your silk you know what that is because i do i think you know if we run by my theory i think that that silk might be worm poop so you fashionistas in your big cities wearing your worm poop but i'm not angry at worms they're just doing their job if people want to buy worm poop that's totally fine by me but spiders i got my eye on you i'm angry because you keep on i mean it's in my hair it's in my mouth i walk to the car I walk down the stairs. I walk anywhere. And spiders, it's, just leave me alone. So here's the thing. I'm going to be a bit proactive. I'm inventing something. I don't know what it's going to be called yet, so I might need help with a name. But it's basically like an umbrella. But whenever you go outside, you know, you open it or whatever, and it's a pole that's out in front of you, you know, maybe like 10 inches. And it spins, and it's right where your nose is. So it's always following your nose. So you don't even see it. It's just there. And you know what it's doing? It's going to be knocking down spider webs left and right. I don't want to hurt a spider. I know they're our friend. I know that they're getting rid of the other bugs. But friends, don't make me walk through there. Oh. Okay. Don't forget. Bumper Podcast at NattyBumperCar.com. Be nice to spiders.
