Tag: natty bumpercar

Bumperpodcast #209: Jibberlist

Robot steals the show on this weeks bumperpodcast – until Natty Bumpercar and Pig show up and steal it back. There may be a lot of theft on this weeks episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Comedian, Natty Bumpercar talks about some junk with Robot and Pig, and some other junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

Are you a robot? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In episode 209 of the Bumperpodcast, Robot attempts to host his own episode while everyone else is supposedly away, but his plans are quickly derailed when both Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig show up. Natty asserts his authority as the show's host and owner of the headquarters, while Pig questions the ownership arrangements and how Natty actually acquired the house. The trio debates whether Robot should be allowed to host his own show, with Robot insisting his previous solo episodes were well-received at places like "Chapman's" and "the Twitter." The conversation takes a comedic turn as they mock Natty's terrible voice impression and coin a new word, "gibberlists," to describe Robot's nonsensical lists. Robot's desperate plea using outdated slang like "holla" only reinforces why he's not getting his own show anytime soon.

Memorable Quotes

“I would go to Chapman's. I would go to the Flavor of Life… I would go to the Twitter. I would go all over the place. And people were always like, it's the best.”

— Robot

“Those weren't even real places… So your list that you're talking is gibberish. You make gibralists. I think that's going to be our new word for today.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“Nobody does that anymore, robot. And that's why you don't have your own show… Because, I mean, fine. I did a stupid voice. It didn't make any sense. But holla?”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #robot #hosting #ownership #podcasting #gibberish #voiceimpressions #slang

Featuring: Robot, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Robot: Hello, everybody. It's me, Robot, and this is the Bumper Podcast. Today, everyone is gone, so I get to host my own. Hey, what are you doing over there, Robot? Robot, what are

Aloysious J. Pig: you doing over here? You can't be doing a Bumper Podcast. Hey, Pig, I thought everyone

Robot: was gone, and so I haven't had my own episode in a long time. Hey, Robot. You're here, too.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I'm here, too. It's my show. Yeah. Well, okay. So, listen. We've established this before, but when I leave, when Pig leaves, when anybody leaves, that does not just mean that you crack the microphone and get to do your own podcast. This is the Bumper Podcast. I'm Natty Bumpercar. This is my headquarters, and so I kind of am running the show. All right. Now, everything

Aloysious J. Pig: we're talking about there sounds really good, Bumpercar, but the point I got with it is that you're taking over. I'm taking a lot of ownership over a lot of things that maybe, you know, should be shared. For instance, how did you get the loan on this house, for instance?

Natty Bumpercar: My wife, remember? Oh, she did? Yeah, she did that whole thing.

Aloysious J. Pig: How about I?

Natty Bumpercar: No, you didn't do anything. No, nothing. You weren't even there.

Aloysious J. Pig: Well, at that point, it's something I'm going to let slide. I'm going to let it slip back to us.

Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Well, weird. I don't even know why we're talking about that when we were initially talking about Robot. I did my show. I did my show. Bless you. Not allowed to… You know what we should do? We should get some rules, and we should just write them out, and we should put them up on the wall here, and so then everyone is on the same page, and we can all, you know, manage expectations as to what people are doing and what they're not doing and what they shouldn't be doing. On top of the list is going to be Robot should not, cannot, will not have his own show.

Robot: Well, I don't understand that. It's a good rule. I've done my own shows before. And they were very well received.

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't think that's true.

Robot: You know, I would go to Chapman's. I would go to the Flavor of Life. There he goes. He's going to make a list. I would go to the Twitter. I would go all over the place. And people were always like, it's the best.

Aloysious J. Pig: It's the best.

Robot: It's the best.

Aloysious J. Pig: Listen, I don't… I mean, I love that you can make lists. I think it's wonderful. And… But none of that… Those weren't even real places. The Twit, Twit, Twit, Twit, Twit. That's not a thing. That's not a place that people go. So your list that you're talking is gibberish. You make gibralists. I think that's going to be our new word for today. That's gibbalist.

Natty Bumpercar: Gibbalist. I think that's a pretty good word. I mean, I like it when we come up with new words in the Bummer Podcast. Because I feel like we're expanding people's vocabularies. And especially if it goes into the lexicon. Then, you know, it's going to give a lot of people a lot of things to think about. Oh, come on. Oh, my gosh. Stop doing the voice. I know why you started doing it. It's the worst voice. Oh, it happens. I slip into it sometimes.

Robot: And there's voices that you just couldn't stop doing. I don't understand why people have such a problem with it necessarily. Why would you do that voice? The worst voice.

Aloysious J. Pig: I mean, I never agree with Roblox. But I got to agree at this point that that's the worst voice that you do ever in my life. Come on. Like, I don't know what… I'll try to do it. Are you sick today, Big? My name is Daddy Bummer. And I'm kind of dumb. Oh, dumb? That's what you sound like. That's not what I mean. I know. That's what you sound like sometimes. When you do that voice. It's not nice. I don't know what it is. It's just a voice. It's just a voice. You can try it like this. I just can't sit. You've got to stop doing it.

Robot: Yeah, or else maybe I'd get my own show. No, that's the worst. Right, guys. Please, please, please, please. Who wants me to have my own show?

Natty Bumpercar: Nobody. Hello. Did you just say holla? Did you just raise your little robot arms and say, nobody does that anymore, robot. And that's why you don't have your own show. That's why you're not going to have your own show. Because, I mean, fine. I did a stupid voice. It didn't make any sense. But holla? Holla. Why don't you put that on your gibberlists? What are my gibberlists? What just happened to you?

Robot: You just made weird noises. Now you're not even making any sense. Why can you have a show and not make any sense? And I can't have a show without something awesome. Something awesome like, oh, I don't know, space, numbers, robot stuff, huh?

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February 19, 2015
Bumperpodcast #208: There’s a pirate on this ship!

The Bumperpodcast is taken over by a pirate! What’s his name? I have no idea … and neither does he! Listen and learn … On this tyrannical episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Comedian, Natty Bumpercar talks about some junk with Robot and Pig, and some other junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

Are you pirate-ish? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar transforms into a forgetful pirate captain who realizes the organizational challenges of running a pirate ship where nobody knows anyone's name. The rambling pirate contemplates the difficulties of delegating tasks like swabbing the deck and catching fish when every crew member is just "pirate man." After considering solutions like chore boards, continuing education classes, and a gold star reward system, the pirate captain ultimately abandons these civilized ideas and embraces the chaotic pirate life of stealing, looting, and pillaging. This absurdist monologue showcases Natty's improvisational comedy style as he navigates the logical paradoxes of pirate ship management.

Memorable Quotes

“I'm going to be stealing your women and your children and your booty and your gold and your frankincense and your myrrh and your Kit Kats, because I love Kit Kats.”

— Natty Bumpercar (as Pirate)

“We're gonna have all the different chores of the ship upon the board. It's gonna say, swab the deck, hang the sails, get the fish, you know, all the different things that happen.”

— Natty Bumpercar (as Pirate)

“We don't care about names. We don't care about reading. We don't care about writing because we are pirates, and all we care about is stealing and ravaging.”

— Natty Bumpercar (as Pirate)

Topics: #pirates #identity #organization #absurdistcomedy #workplacehumor #kitkats #improvisation

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Did you notice that there was a lot of complaining and whining and hooting and hinting and hinting me in last week on the Bumper Podcast? Well, this is, uh, my name is, uh, I'm a pirate, probably. And my name, yeah, well, my name is, I don't remember my name, because I'm a pirate, and when people see me, people know my name, and so I don't have to go around telling people what my name is. I waff off my ship into the port, and I steal everything, and people know my name, but I would just by my face, and a little bit by my voice as well, but they don't necessarily, I don't have to, I don't have a business card. Why would I? I'm a pirate. Pirates don't, I can't read, and I don't care what my name is anymore. You care what my name is. Because I'm the one who's going to be stealing things from you. I'm going to be stealing your women and your children and your booty and your gold and your frankincense and your myrrh and your Kit Kats, because I love Kit Kats. I don't understand how they're made. There's, there's cookie crisp, and then there's chocolate, and they're all squished together into tiny microcosmic little things, and of the pirate ship, we all break off one for our friends, and we say, give me a break. Har! Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that. There. Har. Bar. But it's difficult, because as we're all pirates, and we, none of us care much about our names, then we look around the pirate ship, and when you have to get something done, it's like, hey, there, you, pirate man over there, and then the one looks around, because no one, everyone's a pirate man on the ship, and so they don't know who's talking to who, because they're all, pirates, and so you never get anything done. It's a, really, we should probably figure out some sort of a naming mechanism so that people know who's talking to who at all times. It makes the ships very difficult. It makes every little thing a lot more difficult than it should have been if you could have just said, hello there, pirate Bob, I need you to go and get me some fish. There's a lot of fish that they would, a lot of, that's a lot of, that's a big job on the ship. Who's gonna get the fish? And if we could have a board, maybe, on the ship. Now, I'm thinking we're probably going to need to take some sort of reading lessons, where we all read, and we have names, and we have a, a chore board. Yeah, that's what we need. We need a chore board, and we're gonna have all the different chores of the ship upon the board. It's gonna say, uh, swab the deck, uh, hang the sails, uh, get the fish, you know, all the different things that happen. And then we can be like, uh, pirate Bob, you do Tuesday. Uh, who's gonna do the laboratories? That's what we call bathrooms on the pirate ship. No, we don't. No, no. We don't call it laboratories. No, we don't. We don't call it laboratories. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's right. Over the rail. Because we're pirates. Good joke. Uh, uh, pirate man. No, you. You're the one who said the pirate Right there, I'm pointing at you because, yes, with the stripy shirt, black and white, not blue. Yes, black, white, you. Funny joke. You know what? We're also on the board. We're gonna have gold stars, and if anyone has a funny joke or a good idea, they're gonna get a gold star next to their names. So, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take some continuing education classes. We're going to learn how to read just basic stuff you understand. Nothing too hard. And then from there, we're all gonna get names. What's that? Good point. We're probably going to need to have names before we do the continuing education so that we can fill out all the forms and all the paperwork and take the classes. Are you correct? We can't fill out the paperwork if we don't know how to read and we don't know how to write. This is never gonna work. Is this what we've done? We've never done this. Okay. So, what is your plan? Excellent. We don't care about names. We don't care about reading. We don't care about writing because we are pirates, and all we care about is stealing and ravaging, right? Yes, and looting and pillaging and more stealing. So, no more names. You're a pirate. You're a pirate blue pants. You're a pirate red bird, and I'm the captain pirate of the whole ship, I think. Is that my name? Huzzah!

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February 12, 2015
Bumperpodcast #207: Somebody has hurt feelings

Natty Bumpercar talks about getting his feelings hurt – and is (unsurprisingly) joined by some of his pals from Headquarters. Check in to see if they help the situation – at all.

Do you have feelings? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In episode 207 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar opens up about having his feelings hurt by someone he considered a friend. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Aloysious J. Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle all assume they are the ones who hurt Natty's feelings. What starts as a heartfelt moment quickly devolves into classic Bumperpodcast chaos, with Pig proudly claiming he lives to offend Robot, Doodle lamenting about sleeping in a crate, and everyone misunderstanding Natty's actual point. The episode explores friendship dynamics, hurt feelings, and the complications of living and working together in the Bumpercast headquarters.

Memorable Quotes

“No offense robot but I actually live to offend you and make you feel horrible about yourself… I'm just doing my job and my friendship.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“You walk away and you're just like, I mean are we friends? Are we even friends at all? And it gets a little bit sad.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“They don't let me on their podcast all the time. They make me sleep in a crate.”

— Doodle Poodle

Topics: #friendship #hurtfeelings #communication #relationships #livingtogether #misunderstandings #emotionalhonesty

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Robot, Doodle Poodle

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast of course and today i i want to open my heart a little bit to you i want to i want to tell you i have you guys ever had have you ever had your feelings hurt like by someone you considered a friend like you you went into a situation and you weren't expecting it to happen like just went not the way you were expecting and then all of a sudden you're like standing there like whoa i i thought i thought we were friends and and it and it stinks and it hurts really bad and you kind of walk away and you're like all right well i guess that we're maybe not as much of friends as i as i thought that we were it's me it's not fun at all uh yeah hey bumper car oh

Aloysious J. Pig: hey pig what's going on yeah you know uh yeah i got my feelings hurt a few times really by somebody that i consider to be a friend i'm okay uh what happened you know well i run a podcast with him oh he's living in the same

Rufus T. Rufus: headquarters yeah okay i get what you're doing now yeah it's me yeah it's it's you it's you

Aloysious J. Pig: you can be a little bit stringent i don't think that's the word i could use i don't know if it's

Natty Bumpercar: a word i could use it doesn't make a lot of sense stringent like maybe you're trying to say salty something i don't i don't know what you were hey oh geez it's me robot hey robot i was listening

Robot: to the podcast and i decided to run into the studio all right hey tell my story okay oh i see what you're doing

Rufus T. Rufus: is it is it is it me is it me right you know yeah well i because i see what you're doing

Robot: yeah what's oh it's definitely you yeah perfect it's 100 percent you what about me huh

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i was hoping so because no offense robot but i actually live to uh offend you and make you feel horrible about yourself and what you know everything about your world so if you really want to get down to brass tacks i'm just doing my job and my friendship i'm just doing what i'm supposed to do uh so how are you feeling yeah thanks that's like a compliment it's like you just gave me a gold star it's like you're just like hey pig you all goes on the mount rushmore of uh hurting friends feelings it's you thanks for that i got a statue now a whole mountain of a statue of me pig making fun of you bucking a pulse oh hi everybody that's not a little me

Doodle Poodle: hey no why are you are you crying what's the matter it's a good analogy

Natty Bumpercar: huh it's a good analogy

Doodle Poodle: you know they don't let me do it all the time oh i mean they don't let me on their podcast all the time oh come on make me sleep in a crate you like the crate

Natty Bumpercar: oh yeah i do like sleeping in a crate yeah you actually said i want to sleep in a crate and so you can't then point at that and say that someone's done something bad to you when all right listen all three of you yeah what's up yeah yes all three of i want i am sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i love you guys all three of you you know what you learned the best thing i've want i am sorry if i ever sometimes in the heat of the moment on the bumper podcast we get into you know craziness and and we start yelling or whatever but this isn't even what i'm really

Aloysious J. Pig: talking about oh well would you please edify us with your with your big brain and edify would you please just yeah exactly just get on

Natty Bumpercar: okay well so here's what i'm talking about not i mean just everyday living together stuff we're gonna get under each other's uh skin we're gonna or yes metal and that happens but i'm talking about like you know you if you have people that you consider friends and you do something nice for or or whatever and maybe it's your fault because you've got expectations like oh they're gonna react this way or they're gonna react that way and then they totally don't or you know whatever happens and you walk away and you're just like i i mean are we friends are we even friends at all and it gets a little bit sad

Aloysious J. Pig: let me keep living here i i guess i am too

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February 5, 2015
Bumperpodcast #206: Apologies to an angry pig

There are some apologies on this episode for all of the yelling last week … Pig leads the charge and Natty Bumpercar follows suit. Not much gets done.

Do you apologize? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Comedian, Natty Bumpercar talks about some junk with Robot and Pig, and some other junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

About This Episode

In episode 206 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysious J. Pig address listener feedback about too much yelling in the previous week's episode. The duo defends their comedic approach while humorously contradicting themselves throughout the conversation. They discuss the recent non-blizzard weather event that caused school cancellations and working from home, with Pig sharing his failed attempt at social media fame with a "pig in a blanket" photo. The episode features the characters bickering about what constitutes "angry" comedy, with Pig ironically becoming increasingly agitated while accusing Bumpercar of being too angry. Their meta-discussion about podcast tone and SEO strategy provides plenty of laughs.

Memorable Quotes

“It was a hysterical mess… look at that wordplay come on and get it”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I took a funny picture and I was like look at me look at me I'm a pig… and then I tweeted it and nobody, no one, not a single person, no one follows me on the twitter”

— Aloysious J. Pig

“You might as well have called the episode like I'm angry and angry angry angry… what should be in the title? Angry angry angry angry”

— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #listenerfeedback #weather #blizzard #comedy #socialmedia #podcastmeta-commentary #friendship

Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so hey everybody it's me peg and i got bumper car here i wanted to start the episode off because you know last week there was a lot of yelling there was a lot let's be honest there

Natty Bumpercar: was a lot of yelling yeah okay and hi everybody this is me uh natty bumper car and oh yeah here's the thing there was a lot of yelling last week and evidently uh we got some feedback that uh there was too much yelling and um i'm sorry all right we were just playing doing a little character yeah having a little fun being silly you know how it is right i quit we all know that

Aloysious J. Pig: mama got it sometimes people say that i i yell too much because they say my voice is a little you know of course you know whatever they say yeah but i think it was the tone in which you yeah the episode that people that's a bad people so so much so much upset you understand yeah okay

Natty Bumpercar: so i i get that and it makes sense to me and but i think if you listen to the word yeah it was a it was a total made-up situation there was a guy who was on a dock and he had spent his it was vacation and all his money and all his time and then there was a monster and then at the end it turns out there wasn't a monster at all uh you know spoiler alert if you want to go back and listen to it but uh there it wasn't a monster what he told him yes it was a lot exactly yeah it was just a lot he was confused and it made up fun words like banu i do like which i use now all the time like this is the real banu situation whoa whoa don't don't jump

Aloysious J. Pig: okay i'm not i was just saying don't start new okay it is but no it's a fun way to say hey this is me ready uh party the other night

Natty Bumpercar: was really banu everybody good job so uh all right that's last week's episode and uh now let's start this week's episode right i feel like we move on we have fun we talk about the blizzard that wasn't we just had oh it was supposed to be historical amounts of snow up here near headquarters and instead it was a hysterical mess oh look at that wordplay come on and get it come on and get no we really uh there was there was no snow there was schools were canceled uh working from home there was all the the chicanery that goes on our fridge was full we ate really well uh for a day when you know there was some playing outside we started building a fort out of snow all you know these things that you do uh but blizzard no blizzard no no blizzard there was

Aloysious J. Pig: no blizzard i remember i was i thought i was gonna be really cold and so i put on uh i got a blanket yeah i took a funny picture and i was like look at me look at me i'm a pig yeah and then i'm like all right and then i put it i tweeted it and and uh nobody no one no

Natty Bumpercar: one's not a single person no one follows me on the twitter i actually i think but it was a great

Aloysious J. Pig: picture all right you gotta admit yeah it was like hey look at me i'm a pig yeah okay i know

Natty Bumpercar: but i just wanted to say you didn't have to do it again no i didn't want you to do it

Aloysious J. Pig: okay this is what people are looking for is nice funny things nice funny things not angry like

Natty Bumpercar: look at me i'm on a dog come on make some scare i don't want to scare anybody and i thought we were having fun last week and i as cute as your pig in a blanket picture is i um i i don't it's whatever you made that thing i made this thing we're 205 episodes in and you tell me there's gonna be a little bit of you know yelling and it wasn't even like angry yelling it was it was very angry oh you think it was angry so angry all right well so angry no it was not oh

Aloysious J. Pig: come on it was angry you were like i'm i'm angry you might as well have called the episode like i'm angry and angry angry angry come on i'm gonna be so angry and angry and then i'm angry look at me how angry i am when i'm angry angry angry angry angry angry angry i'm not what should we put in this one oh i know angry what should be in the title angry angry angry angry okay perfect and what other seo words have we got you do seo now angry yeah nice okay well see

Natty Bumpercar: none of that's true and pig if i'm to be honest with your little rant that you just put on that little screaming match that you just did uh you sounded a little bit angry i don't even know what

Aloysious J. Pig: you're talking about

Unknown: you

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January 28, 2015
Bumperpodcast #205: A real ba-noo situation up on the docks.

This is by far the most ‘ba-noo’ episode of the Bumperpodcast, ever. There is a dock, a monster, a lottery, winners and losers and much more. There could potentially be a call to the Better Business Bureau, as well. Natty Bumpercar is off.

Have you ever gone ‘ba-noo’? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts a disastrous vacation experience on a pier where he believes he's being stalked by a terrifying water monster. After waiting four years and winning a lottery for his coveted dock spot, Natty's peaceful meditation plans are derailed by what he's convinced is a crocodile or alligator swimming directly toward him. As his panic escalates and his heart races, he frantically questions why no other pier-goers are reacting to the imminent threat. The episode builds to a comedic reveal that puts Natty's overreaction into perspective.

Memorable Quotes

“Look at that dude, he's going banu, that means he's crazy, and that's you right now! Me, my friend, I'm keeping it real, I'm keeping it steady, I'm keeping it 100!”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I saved up for four years! To get this spot on this pier, I wanted some inner peace, some sanctity, I wanted to meditate, I wanted to be one with the nature, the universe.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Yo, that's just a log?”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #vacation #panic #overreacting #monsters #nature #meditation #comedy #misunderstanding

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: So there I was, so there I was, so there I was, so there I was, so there I was, just sitting there on the edge of the pier, when all of a sudden, what comes up, is it a boat? No, it's not a boat, it's some sort of crocodile, alligator, some sort of snakey, but whatever, a reptile, coming right down to water, right towards where I'm sitting, at the edge of the dock, and so I'm like, what am I supposed to do here? I paid good money to sit on this dock, I paid all the proper fees to rent my spot, and all of a sudden, you're telling me that this is the kind of place I should be? This is the kind of situation where you're gonna have monsters, basically? Monsters? Actual, live monsters, coming down the water, at me? I mean, who am I gonna talk to? Who's your supervisor? Who works here anyway? Where are you guys? And then I look around, I'm at the edge of a dock, there's nobody working down here, it's just a bunch of people sitting. Down, fishing, looking at the water, there's a dude over there, with binoculars, looking at the ocean, thinking he's gonna see some sort of a whale. Good job, beluga, good luck seeing your whale, hope that monster doesn't come and get you, because he's right there! Oh my god, this is like the worst vacation I ever took in my life! I saved up for four years! To get this spot on this pier, I wanted some inner peace, some sanctity, I wanted to meditate, I wanted to be one with the nature, the universe, and all of a sudden, what am I doing? My heart is beating out of my chest, I think I'm starting to hyperventilate a little bit. Oh what, you think I'm overreacting? You think I'm going a little bit crazy? You think that maybe, perhaps? Perhaps? That I'm going over the edge? Oh my friend, oh my friend, oh my friend, I'd say that you are the one who's going a bit bonkers, a bit nuts, a bit banu, that's what we say in my town! Look at that dude, he's going banu, that means he's crazy, and that's you right now! Me, my friend, I'm keeping it real, I'm keeping it steady, I'm keeping it 100! There is a monster! He's floating up at me, right next to the dock now, he's close, he's closer than he was when I started, that's for sure, I don't know if he's in the, uh, I don't know if the water's pushing him my way, I don't know if the tides are shifting maybe, but what I do know, what I do definitely know, is that probably in the next, oh I don't know, two seconds, one, two, boom, monster's gonna come and get me! Eat my foot! I don't know, it's hanging off the dock, he could certainly reach up and grab it if he wanted to, uh, cool, is he gonna pull me under, is he gonna do a crocodile roll, a death roll, I mean that's what they do, this is not a relaxing vacation! I mean, I want my money back, and then what am I gonna do, am I gonna go, if I leave this spot to go and talk to whoever owns this dock, am I gonna lose my spot, is somebody else gonna come and sit in my spot, which I paid for, and then I'm not gonna have my spot anymore? I do not know, but what I do know, is if I don't have a place to sit, after all this time of waiting on the waiting list, and putting my name in, and there was a lottery, and I had to win it, and I did, and I'm sitting here, and now you're gonna take it away from me? This is crazy, it's Banu, this whole thing is Banu, this whole situation, why is nobody else reacting to this thing? Do you guys not see it? Everybody else on the dock, do you not see this thing coming out my neck? Out of the boat? Do you see that thing right over there, it's right in the water, it's gonna come over here, it's looking at us, sniffing in the air, I see him sniffing in the air, trying to come over here, you, with that chum bucket, he's gonna be your chum in just a second, he's gonna come chum up with you real quick, he's gonna eat you, he's gonna eat your baby, he's gonna have babies sit next to you, he's gonna eat it, if that's what they do, what? What are you talking about? I'm looking at the monster right over there, alligator crocodile! He's gonna come over here and take it all down, probably gonna take the whole dock down if we don't watch out, what? You kidding me? Yo, that's just a log?

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January 25, 2015