Tag: music

  • Bumperpodcast #329 – Wad Of Cash

    Bumperpodcast #329 – Wad Of Cash

    Pig does some doughnut talking, Producer sings a song, and Natty bursts in – typically flustered!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig takes over hosting duties while Natty Bumpercar is away. Pig attempts to discuss socio-political economics but quickly abandons the premise to ramble about his love of donuts, particularly a tres leches donut he purchased that morning. Producer interrupts with a story about finding a mysterious wad of cash on the sidewalk while listening to a song about picking up money, which leads to an unfortunate encounter with the police. The episode takes a twist when Natty returns looking for his lost wad of cash, and it becomes clear that Producer may have found it—and possibly donated it, though his new shoes suggest otherwise. The improvised comedy showcases the characters' chaotic chemistry and comedic timing.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm probably in cupcakes, maybe in cookies, maybe in bread. I've heard you can put it on your cereal. I don't know if you eat that. And, obviously, in my slop pit, sometimes there's milk, just because I am very lactose-tolerant. I would almost go so far as to say I require lactose.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “If you see a penny, pick it up, pick it up… If you see a nickel pick it up, pick it up… if you see a 50 bill you should call the police because it's not yours.”

    — Producer

    “Producer, seriously, this is a big deal. Like, this is, like, rent money, this is every kind of money, this is all of our money. This is our bill money.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #donuts #money #friendship #misunderstandings #food #music #comedy #chaos

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: Uh, hey everyone, it's me, Aloysius J-Pig, and today, uh, Natty Bumper Guy is off and about and about and around and everywhere but here. So, it's gonna be a pig episode, which means probably a little singing, and obviously we're gonna talk about socio-political economics, because that's what I do now. I don't know if you've heard my new show, Pork Barrel Pig, but here we are, and this is what we do. So, huh, the other day I was looking at the market and I was like, oh, what is this, a bear market or a bull market? And the people were just like, I don't know, pig, why don't you tell us? You're the one who's got the show about. It's global, so I forget what it's about already, so I, alright, the joke's over. We're gonna talk about donuts, we're gonna talk about, talk about donuts, what, what, what, what? Donuts, what kind of donuts, bro? You know the best kind of donuts. Donuts, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, donuts, ha, ha, ha, ha, donuts. Donuts, this morning, I woke up, I went to my local donut-taria, and I said, hello, Miss the Donut, and Mr. Donut was just like, oh, hello there, pig, or whatever, I don't know what he said, and he's like, what can I get you? What do you want? What kind of a donut do you want? And I was like, my friend, my friend, my friend, I'll have one of everything, alright, and two or some of them, alright? So you're gonna need some boxes, you're gonna need some crates, what is the biggest receptacle that we can put the donuts in that they're gonna make it home to my house without getting, like, flustered, because the last thing that I want and you want, obzy, is a flustered donut. He said, okay, let me work on that situation, but while I do that, maybe do you want a donut hole? And I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sir, I do not wish to have a donut hole. No, that's the leftover. That's the leave-ins. I don't want that. I come here for a donut goodness, and if you can deliver, I will receive a donut hole. However, it's not what I meant to. Anyway, we level set, we figured out our relationship, we understood what everybody wanted, and we moved on from there, I assume. I presume, I don't know. So you wanna know? I feel like I've been teasing. You wanna know what kind of donut I got? Today, I got a Tres Leches donut. That's three milk. Three milk donut. And what are the three milks? I don't know. I'm assuming cow milk is one of them. I'm also assuming that, well, I don't know what other kind of milks there might be. There's that weird milk. There's that weird milk. There's that weird milk that Luke drank in The Last Jedi from that alien cow thing. I'm hoping that that kind of milk was not involved in my donuts. And then one of the milks is whipped cream. So that's cream, so that's milk, so that makes sense. I'm hoping there's no cheese on my donut, because that's made from milk, too. Chocolate, also made from milk. Milk is really in a lot of things, is what I'm coming to find out. To all my cow friends listening, to all my cow friends in the… Pasture. To all my cow friends around the world, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta thank you, girl. Hey, cows, what do you know? Hey, cows, what do you do? Oh, oh, oh, hey, cows, how do you say hello? Oh, are you moo? Perfect. Seriously, though, milk, pretty much in everything. I'm probably in cupcakes, maybe in cookies, maybe in bread. I've heard you can put it on your cereal. I don't know if you eat that. I don't know if you eat that kind of stuff. And, obviously, in my slop pit, sometimes there's milk, just because I am very lactose-tolerant. I would almost go so far as to say I require lactose. Anyway, I bibble and babble enough about the donuts. I don't know what else I'm supposed to talk about. How does he do this for 10 minutes a day? How does he, like, what, 12 minutes? I'm four and a half minutes in, and I've already run out of time. I've already run out. I had, like, two songs. I talked about donuts. Did you want to? Okay, hold on a second. Ladies and gentlemen, our producer says he… Um, hello, everybody. No, that's fine. You just start talking.

    Producer: Yeah, I'm going to start talking now. You're talking… Hello? You… Yeah. Okay. Okay. Hi, everyone. This is me, producer. And I am just listening to my friend, which is Jack Pig, and he was having a difficult time with the talking, and so I said, you know what? I've got a pretty funny story to share. So maybe I'm going to hop in to help him out a little bit. And my story involved this yesterday… I don't know when it's yesterday morning. I was leaving my driveway, to go for a little hop around the block, because I'm a frog and I don't run, I hop! So, I was hopping. I was listening to my Bluetooth headset speaker phones, and I had music in them. And the song I was listening to was If you see a penny, pick it up, pick it up… If you see a penny, pick it up, pick it up… it up if you see a nickel pick it up pick it up if you see a dime if you see a quarter

    Natty Bumpercar: if you see a 50 cent piece pick it up if you see a dollar pick it up pick it up if you see a two dollar bill pick it up pick it up if you see a five dollar bill or a 10 or a 20 you know what you should do you should pick it up pick it up if you see a 50 bill you should call the police because it's not yours if you see a hundred dollar bill you should just run away there are certain

    Producer: denominations there are certain sizes of the bill you should pick it up pick it up if you see a money that are always okay for you to pick it up pick it up and lo and behold as I'm listening to this song it's a number one smash summer hit from 1927 pick it up I was hopping and I looked over and I saw a wad of cash on the sidewalk and I say to myself oh my watch out word what should i do and then i thought about the song words the lyrics in this song and i said i

    Natty Bumpercar: know exactly what to do thank you universe and so i called the police and i pointed to it and i said oh would you look at all of this money and they said please put your hands on the car and they knocked my bluetooth headset out of my ears and then i got to ride downtown to the police station where i was interrogated for a long time because they didn't understand why anyone would come across such a pile of money and not uh bro here's the thing it's a great story that you're telling

    Aloysious J. Pig: and the whole song thing everybody's love songs on podcasts so that's good thank you and you get kudos for that everyone has noticed from the beginning of your story to the end of your story you no longer sound like yourself i don't understand what do you mean would you care to explain that or is that something where i don't know something that happened while you

    Producer: were incarcerated or whatever no i think what happens is i don't usually talk for a long time and so when i had the opportunity to talk for an experience period i um got a little bit too excited and maybe i you know like i sang my song and then the voice got a little uh how do you say uh crazy you just said crazy bro that's how you say it perfect oh no hello

    Aloysious J. Pig: what's up um me and uh producer sitting here we're just hanging out doing a little show on our own but we didn't know when you were oh i got the coughs i got the vapors is that a new cologne you wearing oh we didn't know when he was coming back so is that got is that got lavender in it i'm i'm highly alert to lavender i gotta go you i mean you smell nice but you're hurting me i'm so sorry Uh, guys, I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for the beginning of the show, but Crazy Bananas Weird Thing, I was running around, I was on the sidewalk, I was running errands, and, uh, do you, do you remember my stack of cash, my wad of cash? I can't find it anywhere. I do not know where it is, and it was in my pocket, and then it just disappeared out of nowhere, and I can't find it, and I'm freaking out, because that's how I gotta pay all the cows for, uh, their milk and everything.

    Producer: Um, well, first, first off, uh, that is a very clunky way that you try to tie the beginning of the podcast in with this section.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Not, not that, really, come on, yeah.

    Producer: But, uh, I happen to have some information about this wad of cash. You do? Can you describe this wad of cash to me, please?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, it's, well, sure, it's a wad of cash. It's a lot of money, cash, that has subsequently… …subsequently been wadded up into a wad, like a roll, like it's got a rubber band on

    Natty Bumpercar: What color is the rubber band? I do not know what color rubber band it is.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm sorry. What? I do not know. What do you mean? Yeah, it's a… How many… What's your point? Like, did you find a wad of cash? Are you holding out on me for? What, what, what?

    Producer: I'm not, I'm not entirely comfortable talking to you about this, uh, in quotation marks wad of cash, because I feel like maybe you don't know. I don't know what you're talking about, and you're trying to get information for me about the wad of cash that I may or may not have found on the sidewalk right outside of the gate of our house.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Producer, seriously, this is a big deal. Like, this is, like, rent money, this is every kind of money, this is all of our money. This is our bill money. We, I need that money. So if you found it, what did you do with it? Can you get it for me? Can you go find, like, what, please just give me the money if you found it. It's very important. It's hyper important.

    Producer: So I maybe, maybe I found it, and maybe I got taken to jail, and maybe when I got out of jail, I took the money, and I donated it to some other place that maybe said they

    Aloysious J. Pig: needed it as well. Well, I need to know the place. I need to know the place, because I need that wad of cash. It's very important. Can you please just tell me where you donated it to? So I, it's just a misunderstanding. I gotta get the money back. I don't know if it's true. Hey, producer. Thanks for that wad of cash. Look at my new shoes. Wait, what?

    Producer: Pig? Oh, no.

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  • Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

    Bumperpodcast #290 – Yeti

    Yeti stops by to talk about all of the snow, Bumpercar offends him – and then catches you up on all kinds of fun stuff!

    Do you like snow? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this winter-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar receives a visit from a mostly silent Yeti who delivers bad news about more snow coming. Natty vents about dealing with blizzards, snow days, and cabin fever with his kids, who lasted only 15 minutes playing outside before retreating indoors. He shares the family's preparations for catching a leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day using an elaborate cookie-baited trap, revealing his son Emerson's newfound obsession with getting rich from leprechaun gold. Natty also discusses his painful journey learning guitar for an upcoming kids' show, culminating in a mixed reception from his children when he attempted to perform "If You're Happy and You Know It."

    Memorable Quotes

    “Children see snow and then they're like I want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like maybe this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that I loved more than anything because it was a mistake but I wasn't gonna correct him on it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Emerson has become obsessed with being rich and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work, is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #snowday #parenting #stpatricksday #leprechaun #music #learningguitar #familylife

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and today in studio we have a very special guest i think that's it's it's yeti a very talkative yeti hey yeti how are you doing what are you doing today what are you doing in your eye i just ran out of breath okay yeah yeah okay i get it yeah well so uh yeti is here because we had a giant snow blizzard a thing last week and or two days ago i guess and the ground is still covered in snow and i'm guessing that you're you're here to tell me that this is the last snow of the season right we're not getting any more snow please is that what you're please please please telling me oh come on really when this this weekend okay so evidently this weekend we're gonna get more snow i'm so sick of snow i'm so sick of winter i don't like it i don't like it i don't like it at all i don't like it one bit no i'm not talking about you i'm just saying winter i'm just saying winter in general yeti i love it when you come around i just can't deal with all the winter just come on buddy all right you know what i think what would make you feel better is if you went outside and played in the snow does that sound like a good idea does that sound like something you want to do does that sound like something like maybe you think you would like to do okay well that sounds okay yes exactly okay bye yeti thanks for stopping by wow that was exciting guys because he said that this weekend is going to actually be the last bit of snow and it's not going to be that much snow it's going to be like an inch or two so that's going to add on to what we have already there will be snow drifts there will be children crying going outside because they see snow children see snow and then they're like i want to play in that and then they go outside and they're like baby this is not so much fun maybe this is kind of cold and kind of hurts my face and my hands oh now i'm wet well then i'm really gonna cry because not only am i am wet but i'm also freezing cold that's the reaction that my children had uh two days ago um let's go outside let's go outside it was like we can't go outside it's a blizzard you don't go outside in a blizzard like you don't we do you see you can't see out the window because it's all snow it's a whiteout you don't go outside in that uh which leads to pretty quickly leads to cabin fever which means your kids are just really just running into each other and running into things and falling over and freaking out all day um you know i understand the schools need to close every so often but why oh why and then so we did we went outside i don't know maybe uh 10 30 and uh played for a little bit and uh i think they lasted 15 minutes and it was good running around for 15 minutes and then the little one was like i don't want to do this i was like go back inside i'll shovel but in the big one he kept on grabbing chunks of snow and throwing it back to where i just shoveled and i was just like stop stop doing that stop daddy just i just i just and he was like i know and i was like no then why are you come on so it was good fun i um and then the next day delayed opening the bane of all parents in the world delayed opening so wait that means you're still going to school which means you're going to freak out about going to school but it also means that you're hanging out here with me and freaking out for longer abu abu but that doesn't matter snow day good time we actually had fun we played games we played chess uh pieces were thrown we uh had we had treats sweet treats like cookies and we uh built a box so here's a cool thing this week is uh saint patrick's day week i guess that's maybe i don't know when it is this week and uh i guess it's it's a relatively new thing where they try to capture the leprechaun and it's become a whole ordeal so we had we built a box and we decorated the box and it's it's a trap for the leprechaun and um that's terrible i understand that i haven't you haven't really changed your voice at all for this character okay and so this is very difficult fourth wall uh however i knew that you have a trip for me and i will not be coming to your trip so the leprechaun out okay well so i guess that was a leprechaun that just stuck his head into the studio that's what we're gonna assume that's we're gonna we're gonna pretend that i guess it's difficult to do uh accents and funny voices at the same time perfect that's fine but we did we we built a uh a leprechaun trap and um this year was actually sad because this was the first year that emerson he used to call leprechauns clovers and it was one of those kid things that i loved more than anything because it was a mistake but i wasn't gonna correct it on i wasn't gonna correct him on it and so it was just um he's like we're gonna catch the clover this is last year we're gonna catch the clover where's the clover gonna be is the clover gonna come the clover does shenanigans and i was just like the clover does shenanigans that's i make me that makes me happy um but now we're catching leprechauns and that's fine because it's still fun so we built the uh we built the box and the way the it works is we have it's it's a classic trap it's a box it's going to be up on one on one side it's got two sticks coming down on the front so it's kind of you know holding it or maybe one sec i think we'll do one stick so it's kind of uh positioned it's just balancing there inside the trap there's going to be a plate on the plate there's going to be a cookie uh probably a green like a shamrock cookie we're going to tie string to the uh to the shamrock cookie and we're going to tie that string to the little post that's holding the box standing up theory being that when the leprechaun grabs the cookie to eat it because how can he not so it's a shamrock cookie right there he's gonna pull box is gonna fall boom we got the leprechaun and the goal being when we capture this leprechaun he's gonna take us to his pot of gold emerson has become obsessed with being rich uh and he thinks that the best way to go about doing that is not hard work is not doing well in school and and moving on in life no no no my friends the best way to get rich is to catch the leprechaun and have him give you his gold coins so i will update you next week on what happens i'm very excited i'm very nervous about what could possibly happen in my house this morning he when he was going to school this morning he was just like saint patrick's day is tomorrow and i was like i know that means we have to set up our trap he's like yeah the trap like he was really into it he was really excited so that's that's big news other big news around headquarters i uh i think last week i was telling you that people are having me asking me asking me to work on uh doing a kid show and so i i part of a kid show that i'm doing is to do a couple of songs so i wrote one song so far and i got the idea for another one um and but i need a guitar i need to learn to play the guitar i've been trying to do it for 20 years and i couldn't do it and so over the last few days like 20 minutes a day sometimes even more uh i've been trying to learn guitar and oh my fingers hurt so bad on my uh what is this left hand my pointer finger my ring finger and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my right hand and my left hand and my left hand and my right hand finger the tips of them they hurt i didn't know that i'd heard oh it's gonna hurt a little bit no it hurts a lot bit and now every time i touch anything my fingers are like oh i hope he's not making us play the guitar but i'm not i'm just standing i just put my fingers down it just hurts but it's cool man this is the first time so i figured out all these chords there's like uh wait well first let's see it's e d g b i forgot how the strings go well here's the chords i learned and i learned an e chord an a chord an e minor an a minor a g a d a c a d7 a d7 what so i've started to figure all these chords out and the more i do them the more my fingers seem to kind of know what they're supposed to do um and then so last night what i did was i was like all right let's try to take all these things that i'm starting to figure out and then let's put them into a song and so what song did i figure out um i went i went and i went i went and i went and i found the chords for oh if you're happy and you know it so it's like a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum like that and um so i practiced that a lot last night and then this morning i got up and i practiced it a few times and i was like kids gather round and uh which for them means that they have to they pretend they're their jackets like they actually get on me and they hold on like their coats like i've made like i'm cruella deville making coats of my children for me and i was just like no no no back away back away dada has something amazing to show you and they were like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and i was like what is it and i pulled out the guitar and they were like no and i was like the strum a strum a strum a strum a strum a strum actually it wasn't like that it was like strum string string string and ollie got excited emmer was just like no no no and i was like please emmer was just like no no no and i was like please

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  • Bumperpodcast #284 – Overabundance

    Bumperpodcast #284 – Overabundance

    Bumpercar starts off rough – finds out that there’s no back button, talks about science, sings some songs, and then says something about the potty. It’s an overabundant episode!

    Do you like overabundance?

    Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 284, Natty Bumpercar shares his chaotic yet hilarious bedtime routine with his kids. After taking a strategic 27-minute nap, Natty dives into a lengthy discussion about science before recounting his challenging evening. He reads five books to his sons, sings custom songs including variations of 'Rocket Ship' and 'Ali Li La,' only to have his younger son reject his musical offerings. The episode highlights Natty's struggles with potty training rewards, multiple bathroom trips, and an awkward encounter at school where he calls a kid by the wrong name. Through it all, Natty's exhausted but loving approach to parenting shines through with plenty of self-deprecating humor.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I don't talk to people that often because I get my feelings hurt.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You need to be nice to daddy… and you know what he said? No. I was just like oh this is not a good debate.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You can't just break it up into multiple prizes, that's not the way it's going to work.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #parenting #bedtimeroutine #science #pottytraining #children #music #sleep #familylife

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yeah bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car it was a weird way for me to start i want to start over i want to start over what there's no back button so i'm gonna just sound like yeah bumper podcast forever i i'm pretty sure there's a back button no ah okay hi bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and uh last week i was super tired and sleepy this week i'm less tired and sleepy which is good i actually just took a nap i dropped the kids off early at school and uh then i came home and slept for 27 minutes i set my alarm for 27 minutes because i didn't want to go over 30 minutes because at that point the nap is actually gonna make you more tired which isn't true but that's what they tell you how is that even possible oh you got more sleep minutes more sleep then you're more tired sorry mom and but it's some sort of uh thing where you go into your deep sleep mode your REM sleep whatever it's called i can't i don't know the words i ain't i ain't no scientist hey bumper podcast let's get this straight we believe in science here at bumper podcast land at headquarters we love science all right you know why because science is backed up by things called facts science is backed up by things called data all right i was never super good at science in school but you know what i'm not a scientist that's for them to do but you know what i like to do believe in science all right let's i just wanted to establish that and i wanted to uh you know physical science sure earth science might be the same thing i don't know physics that's probably science right physiology it has ph at the beginning which wait science doesn't have oh god why have i gotten to this educated conversation with you and i haven't done any research ah research what is that that's science natty bumper car ah perfect you science is great so we should continue studying science and doing science and believing in science because science is the science behind science so back to me being awake i'm so waked woke i'm so woke i'm so waked i don't know how i don't see i don't know i don't talk to people that often i talk to big obviously uh and here's why i don't talk to people that often is because i don't because i get my feelings hurt uh last night i was putting the boys to bed and uh i read like five books five or six books i was like a book reading machine i was enjoying it normally i read one book per kid sing songs and i'm out but last night i was having a good time reading and so i just kind of kept going and i was like boom let's go to the next book bow let's go to the next book and the more i read to them the more uh tired they get and the more they kind of settle into bed easier which makes my whole experience better because here's what i don't like if i go up and i read and i get out quick i know they're gonna come out of the bed 10 10 12 times out of the room right daddy which i can't stand it drives me crazy it drives me bananas but so what i like to do is i'm just gonna do the work up front right i'm gonna make sure i give them pats i'm patting i'm patting so if i'm in there 25 minutes 30 minutes whatever that's cool because it's a nice 25 30 minutes for the most part right it's relaxed i'm reading books i'm singing the songs i'm calming them down no running around no toys ah let's lay down get your head on your pillow hey get your head on your pillow nope this is see there's this is your pillow i would like for your head don't kick the wall why are you kicking the wall i want your head where's your head perfect i want your head on your pillow point to your pillow point a point to the pillow that's not a pillow where's your pillow thank you now put your head on it and now you lay back down because i got two of them in the same room on opposite sides of the room and so they're both going back and forth it's like i'm looking it's like my head's on a swivel at all times anyway so i like to do the work up front so i don't have to go back up invariably you still gotta go up but for the most part it just seems easier to me so i uh last night five books in five books deep the big kid he is he is down for the count he is like i am out sing me some songs this is great you're the best data and i'm like yes i am and then i sing my songs i go uh rocket ship rocket ship way up high rocket ship rocket ship in the sky rocket ship rocket ship way up far rocket ship rocket ship in the stars and i go through the litany of songs i go through uh ali li la who's a pig for me ali li la just gather around and we'll see got a pig over here and a pig over there there's a pig pig pig pig everywhere said ali li la who's a pig for me ali li la who's a pig for me one more time ali li la who's a pig for me and on and on and on emerson passes out boom done gone perfect go over to ali i start singing him songs no i don't want you to sing songs those aren't the songs i want you to sing i want you to sing the songs from the book i don't know where the book is buddy let's just he's like i don't know where the book is you know the book yes i do i know the book i just don't know where the book is i don't like you i don't like your songs he's so mean to me at night and i was just like buddy i know some of the songs from the book so i can just sing them to you fine so then i start singing i'm like um uh he's like muffin man muffin man muffin man like he's in the crowd like he's like calling out songs for me to sing muffin man muffin man i was like all right oh do you know the muffin man and on and on right and then i went from muffin man to uh three blind mice and he just loses his mind he's just like why would you go to three blind mice from muffin man and i was like because it just seemed like a nice song it came into my head i know it's in the book he's like no and i was like fine john jacob jingle hymer and he she was just like get out get out get out get out you can find the book get the book you're not doing it and i was like there is no right i'm just singing songs to you i read you a lot of but i was like listen listen you listen you need to be nice you need to be nice to daddy you need to be really you need to be especially nice to everyone in the world but you need to be super nice to mommy and daddy and emerson and and socks because we're your family and listen i take care of you i just read you five books i just i'm singing your heart out songs and you're you need to be nicer and he was you know what he said no i was just like oh this is not a good debate this is i am not winning this debate currently so i was like fine all right i gave him a kiss in the head i said i love you so much and i'm leaving and i left the room and i went downstairs and i was just like i'm not i that's i'm not doing it not doing it not doing it if i'm gonna give my all and i'm gonna get that kind of response i'm not gonna do it so 10 minutes later daddy he's opened the door gotta go potty all right and we are in we are in the midst of some diaper free zone we have he has pushed the diapers away and he has said i am going for a full night with no diapers which is terrifying he's also going poopy on the potty all on his own decision and out of nowhere three days in we are now you so you run upstairs all right buddy let's go pee boom he goes pee goes back in the room four minutes later daddy gotta go i gotta go poops poops oh okay so you run upstairs you set set everything up get him on the get him on the toilet help him out yes he poops in the potty awesome now when he poops in the potty he gets like a prize a reward or whatever because we're trying to make sure he keeps doing it awesome clean him up wash my hands get him back into bed go downstairs yeah he did it this is this is working out and he was nice all right awesome so that that that worked too that conversation four minutes later door opens again this is the third door open daddy i gotta go poop again he poops again poops again but this poop was everywhere it was it was a back in the bed you don't get a prize this time he's like where's my prize it's like you only get one prize a night one prize you can't just you know break it up into multiple prizes that's not the way it's going to work seven minutes later door opens again he doesn't have to go to the bathroom this time he's just now he's just tested now he's just pushing boundaries and uh his mom goes up and she's oh she's not happy she takes away uh the ducks he got he got a duck a little plastic duck for uh going on the potty ducks gone sprinkles gone uh what's his name chasey gone he's got little uh little stuffed animals and gave them all names and now i gotta know these animals names i can't keep up i don't i can't i went to his school yesterday because he said he wanted to have a play date with a kid and and after school um he calls the kid partner i was just like he was just like i want to have a play date with partner and i was like who's partner that's an awesome name i want to meet a partner and so after school i was just like buddy your partner right and the kid dropped his head looked so sad he was just like no i'm not what like why would you call me partner that's not my name and it was it was some other name like phil or i don't know what his name was but the kid was totally freaked out because i called him the wrong name and i was like buddy it's okay relax it's good whatever your name is

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  • Bumperpodcast #154 – Thanksgiving

    Bumperpodcast #154 – Thanksgiving

    It is officially Thanksgiving – and Natty Bumpercar is visited by his pal Turkey.

    Do you love talking birds? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – Because sometimes – they make us nervous!

    About This Episode

    In this Thanksgiving episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar welcomes back Turkey, who made memorable appearances the previous year. Turkey has returned with something special to share—a traditional Thanksgiving turkey song that turkeys supposedly sing to express their gratitude during the holiday season. Despite some comedic interruptions and mic mishaps, Natty attempts to facilitate Turkey's musical performance instead of his usual Thanksgiving gratitude segment. The episode features the playful banter and improvisational chaos that Bumperpodcast fans have come to expect, building up to Turkey's much-anticipated song about what turkeys are thankful for.

    Memorable Quotes

    “This is a real coup. I a little joke. Sorry.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm going to turn your mic back on because you being off mic just sounds even more terrible somehow than you being on mic.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #thanksgiving #gratitude #music #tradition #holidays #comedy

    Featuring: Turkey, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Turkey: Oh

    Natty Bumpercar: Hi there turkey, what's going on? How you doing buddy buddy pal? Uh-huh And how's the family? Wonderful, that's phenomenal Okay. Well, hey everybody. It's me Natty bumper car. And this is my pal turkey. Maybe you remember from last year We had a few episodes of excitement. What's gonna happen to Turkey? Exactly, that's what happened. That was a very good Recap of what happened. It was very quick very succinct. I think people like that All right, well they had perfect so thanks for stopping by Turkey Are you wanting to stick around? All right. I figured you were just gonna drop in and say hi. No You really have a lot to say I was good, no, I was gonna All right Turn your mic off Exactly gone. Thanks, Turkey. Hey, so Natty bumper car bumper podcast. It's our big Thanksgiving episode and Oh Are you serious? Are you just going to? All right. Really? Rethinking the whole pardon that I gave you last year, turkey. All right. Okay, get back. I'm going to turn your mic back on because you being off mic just sounds even more terrible somehow than you being on mic. Perfect. You're back. All right. Can I? All right. Oh, you have a song you want to sing? Is it like a traditional turkey song? A traditional Thanksgiving turkey song where you tell everyone what turkeys are thankful for at the Thanksgiving season. I didn't even know that existed. Okay. Do I need to set anything up? I mean, it's just that. It's a song that turkey. Sing at Thanksgiving to show everyone what they are thankful for. Well, this is this is a real coup. I a little joke. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. So I guess if everyone's ready, I'm going to skip ahead. I'm not going to do my normal bumper podcast Thanksgiving thing where I tell everybody what I'm thankful for. I even ask what you guys are thankful for or, you know, point some things out in the world that maybe we should be thankful for this year. We're going to do something slightly different. We're going to sing a song. Turkey is going to sing a song. All right. Here ready it goes. A one a two a one two three.

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  • Bumperpodcast #147 – Rhyming

    Bumperpodcast #147 – Rhyming

    Robot jumps onto the Bumperpodcast microphone to sing a little song – and manages to fail miserably …

    Do you love it when Robot fails? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – because – we would like to know!

    We learn when we fail!!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 147 of the Bumperpodcast, Robot kicks things off with a lackluster party song that prompts host Natty Bumpercar to offer some constructive criticism. Natty points out Robot's lazy rhyming of "things" with "things" and proceeds to demonstrate his own method for finding rhymes by working through the alphabet. What follows is a hilarious deep dive into Natty's stream-of-consciousness musings about rhyming, the alphabet song, and his inability to recite the alphabet backwards. This short, improvisational episode showcases the show's signature absurdist humor as Natty gets increasingly sidetracked while trying to prove he has "a beautiful mind."

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm going to do some stuff and I'm going to do some stuff and then I'm going to do some things and I'm going to rhyme things with things.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can't do the alphabet unless I do the song. If I ever had to do the alphabet backwards, I wouldn't be able to even remotely figure out how to do that.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I can't believe what a beautiful mind I, Natty Bumpercar, have. Let's think of some other words that rhyme with things. Well, of course, there's… I don't have anything.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #music #poetry #rhyming #alphabet #party #language #comedy

    Featuring: Robot, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Robot: My name is Robot and I like to party. I get good and ready when I go to the party. I do some robot stuff and I do some robot things. And then I wait for you to do some things.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. Wow, Robot, that was literally the most underwhelming. No, no, no. I'm going to do some stuff and I'm going to do some stuff and then I'm going to do some things and I'm going to rhyme things with things. Like there's a lot of other words that you could have put in there. Rings, brings, sings. Things, yeah, things. There's not a lot of words that rhyme with things. Is that true? I had no idea. Not a lot, no. You ever do that thing where you're trying to rhyme words in a bumper podcast? Hey, what's going on? What's going on, Bumper Podcast? It's me, Natty Bumpercar. And right now I'm trying to figure out how to rhyme words. And so right now we're using the example of things, for instance. So what I like to do is I start with the alphabet, which seems like a legitimately smart and good place to start when you want to make words. And especially if you want to then rhyme those words. So like I'll go like A. Are there any A words? Angs. Angs. No. B. Bangs. Things. Bangs. No. Bings. Bing cherries, I guess. Brings. C. Clings. There's one. See, look at that. This works. A, B, C. A, B, C. That's terrible. I can't do the alphabet unless I do the song. If I ever had to, was required to do the alphabet backwards, I wouldn't be able to even remotely figure out how to do that. I would. But my brain is not capable of such things, and I do not think it's a fair test. Maybe if it's written in front of me, then I could do it. Because I can read, even, you know, backwards. I can read right to left. That's fine. You know, right to left. Yeah. Or if you put the letters in reverse order, starting left to right, that's going to be easier for me. Then my brain is literally just like, I'm going X, W, X, Y, Z. I started with X. Oh, I'm terrible. I can't believe what a brilliant mind I have. I can't believe what a beautiful mind I, Natty Bumpercar, have. Let's think of some other words that rhyme with things. Well, of course, there's… I don't have anything.

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