Tag: jokes

  • Bumperpodcast 238 – Halloween

    Bumperpodcast 238 – Halloween

    This is an episode about Halloween – and costumes – and stuff like that. It is a very nice episode. Very nice.

    Do you Halloween? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

  • Bumperpodcast 237 – Someone seems happy

    Bumperpodcast 237 – Someone seems happy

    The Bumperpodcast has an intro guy (Robot) – and Bumpercar is super-pretty-excited about the state of the world. Until he starts talking about freelance client work. Then things break a little bit.

    Do you have clients? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

  • Bumperpodcast #236 – Good spirits

    Bumperpodcast #236 – Good spirits

    Bumpercar is back and filling you in on all of the reasons why he has been gone. He seems to be in good spirits – so – let’s enjoy it while we can!

    Do you have good spirits? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In episode 236, Natty Bumpercar returns after a long absence to share what's been happening in his life. He opens up about the recent passing of his 95-year-old grandmother, a painter who studied at the University of Georgia before moving to New York City—a path Natty himself would later follow. He explains how a series of unfortunate events including a computer breakdown and a bout of bronchitis kept him away from the podcast. Despite dealing with anxiety, illness, and falling behind on life, Natty remains optimistic and excited to reconnect with his listeners. He promises to return to a regular schedule and shares his enthusiasm about new social media strategies.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It has been anaconda snake long it has been snake river long it has been as long as an anaconda and the snake river and the summer breeze long.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The hip is evidently the key to life it's the cradle it's where everything you know can go wrong.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm pretty happy right now. I'm pretty excited to be back. I missed you so much, Bumper Podcast Coutures.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #lossandgrief #familyhistory #illness #catchingup #personalstruggles #resilience #anxiety

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast it is natty bumper car and it has been so long it has been so far too long incredibly long how long has it been it has been anaconda snake long it has been snake river long it has been as long as an anaconda and the snake river and the summer breeze long it's a lot of snake references really don't know what's going on there um i have missed you so much it has been so long and i'm so sorry i uh a lot of stuff happened let's just get some things off our chest bumper podcast uh my name is natty bumper car this is the weekly bumper podcast you weekly yes i realize that several weeks have been missed i know this let me tell you what happened first one's sad first one is really sad you know i'm not looking i'm not looking for i mean i pity i appreciate uh thoughts and prayers and everything uh so uh my my my grandmother died she passed away she's 95 years old she fell and broke her hip and it's that's what happened to my other grandmother too the hip is evidently the key to life it's the cradle it's where everything you know can go wrong and it was it's very sad it was it was like a month ago uh maybe three weeks and um so it was unexpected uh obviously uh but you know she fell broke her hip went to the hospital got that fixed went to rehab uh that didn't work out and here we are sadness sadness sadness a couple cool things uh about my grandmother um she was a painter i'm a painter she went to the university of georgia i did the same thing and then she moved to new york city after she got her painting degree from the university of georgia she studied under a guy named lamar dodd the uh art school at the university of georgia is named after lamar dodd that's kind of cool i don't know if you've seen that one and i'm not satisfied with that one that' noughts dot dot dot dot dot an 800 including a iphone fifty 50 again and never saw a cop for them that's kind of cool to me that she was like in the in the beginning right and then she moved to new york and that's and here's a weird parallel i ended up going to university of georgia for painting and then moving to new york to paint weird stuff weird crazy stuff um so that happened recovered from that had a had a pack up real quickly fly down to georgia do all that stuff came right back and then my computer broke just died this is the second time this year this sad computer's had a hard time but it's back it's better it's a happy computer again please stay happy computer after the computer now we're in a week and a half in i got bronchitis this is one thing on top of another thing on top of another thing and normally i bounce back pretty quickly from all the things i'm pretty resilient when it comes to things but for some reason this series of unfortunate events was enough to really knock me on my tuchus and we're just now getting back into the swing of things i uh i i don't know i'm really i'm behind in life i'm behind on a lot of things and i don't like that it drives me crazy it means i have nightmares at night because i have uh anxiety it's like oh gosh i gotta do all this thing and this thing and then my brain's like oh don't forget about that thing that thing too and then i'm like ah and then obviously you throw in the job and the kids and everything doing shows here and there and it's brutal and that's the thing i haven't even been able to do shows in the past couple weeks because i've been so silly sick i've been on antibiotics and a steroid and last night i had to have emergency do an abuteral treatment which you take for asthma which i have bronchitis asthma seasonal uh what is it called seasonal allergy onset asthma is what i call it I think the doctor called it or something silly like that. And I got home and I couldn't breathe at all. Like even right now talking. I'm talking a little bit too much. Which, it's awesome. Means I'm probably going to have to take a little thing before I go to work. Yay! It's a great time. But I think you can hear it in my voice. I'm pretty happy right now. I'm pretty excited to be back. I missed you so much, Bumper Podcast Coutures. And I'm thrilled that I'm going to get to chat with you again. And we'll do it again next week. And we're going to get bigger. And we're going to get better. And I figured out a cool thing with Periscope last night. Where I can actually cut my videos up and put them on Vine. And put them on Instagram. And that way even more people won't actually see my videos. It'll be amazing. Hooray!

    Unknown: Hooray!

  • Bumperpodcast #235 – Tiny Screaming Jokester

    Bumperpodcast #235 – Tiny Screaming Jokester

    Bumpercar needs to get with the program – so to do that, he brings a screaming tiny person to get things moving and to talk about and tell some jokes …

    Do you scream? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar welcomes special guest Emerson for a chaotic and entertaining conversation. Fresh off "getting rid of Rufus T. Rufus," Natty tries to conduct an interview with the energetic Emerson, who shares stories about going to the beach, starting school, and delivers a series of increasingly silly knock-knock jokes. The episode features playful banter about names, sea monsters, rotten chicken, and takes an unexpected turn into bathroom humor territory. This unscripted, improvisational episode showcases the unpredictable comedy that happens when Natty Bumpercar tries to maintain control of the show.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I taste like, um, um, rotten leaves. And I taste like rotten chicken.”

    — Emerson

    “This is the first Bumper Podcast since we got rid of Rufus T. Rufus, and we are just hanging out, having a good time.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “You're going to get me in trouble. I can't even stand. This isn't how we talk in the Bumper Podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #knock-knockjokes #school #beach #friendship #improvisation #bathroomhumor #children

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Emerson

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: All right. Hey, everybody. It's me, Natty Bumpercar, and you are?

    Emerson: Um.

    Natty Bumpercar: What's your name?

    Emerson: Emerson.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's your name?

    Emerson: Yes. Who gave, what kind of name is that? Who gave you that name? I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't know who gave you that name?

    Emerson: No. Who was it?

    Natty Bumpercar: I mean, I have some ideas on who might have given you the name, but I can't definitively say. What if you did? If I did, I'd get in trouble. Why? Because those are secrets. So your name is Emerson. You sure it's not like elephant? No. Is your name buffalo?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is your name banana?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness gracious. Oh, my goodness gracious. Hey, Emerson.

    Emerson: Hey, Emerson.

    Natty Bumpercar: I want my hat back.

    Emerson: I know that story.

    Natty Bumpercar: Have you seen my hat?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, all right. What's the hat do? So, Emerson, tell me about you. This is the first Bumper Podcast since we got rid of Rufus T. Rufus, and we are just hanging out, having a good time. Yeah, because this is really fun. Is this really fun?

    Emerson: Yes.

    Natty Bumpercar: All right. I hope they think it's fun. Don't touch those things. Those are dangerous things up here. So, what do you, tell me about yourself. What have you been up to?

    Emerson: I've been up to playing.

    Natty Bumpercar: You've been up to playing? What have you been playing? 100 years. You've been playing 100 years. How do you play 100 years? Do you know? You get lost in the music, don't you? You like to just sit and listen to the music. That's fine. So… Dad! Oh, don't yell too loud. You're going to hurt the people's ears. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. So, what do you, are you, what, did you just start something? Yes. What'd you just start? Went to the beach. You just went to the beach? What'd you do at the beach?

    Emerson: I went in the deep water. You went in the deep water?

    Natty Bumpercar: Did you see any sea monsters? Nope. Thank goodness! That would have been terrible. Yeah. They would have probably eaten you up. Ah! Because you are delicious. No, I'm not. I, yeah, I ate, used to eat your toes. But I just like, want to eat.

    Emerson: You're so good.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm so good. I'm so good. I'm so good. I'm so good.

    Emerson: I love you. I taste like, um, um, rotten leaves. Ew. And I taste like rotten chicken.

    Natty Bumpercar: You do? Yes. That's disgusting. I had no idea. Well, I'm glad that I'm not going to eat you then. Um, hey, do you want to tell us a joke? Yes. Knock, knock. Oh, who, uh, who's there? Who pooped there? What? I am not answering the door. Go away. I'm going to call the police. Try again.

    Emerson: Knock, knock.

    Natty Bumpercar: Who's there?

    Emerson: Um, cow.

    Natty Bumpercar: Cow who?

    Emerson: A mountain cow. Oh, come on.

    Natty Bumpercar: I didn't see that one coming a mile away. I'll try one. Uh, knock, knock. Who's there? Kitty cat. Kitty cat who? Kitty cat in your face. What? Is that me? What?

    Emerson: The big one.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. The one when it talks? Yeah, those are called waveforms, and so you can see when you talk, those are, those are graphical representations of your, of the sound coming out of your mouth. So that's why when you yell, it's not a good thing. All right, now you're just breathing weird. That's kind of, that's going to creep people out. What? What I was asking, so earlier I was asking, what did you just start? You just started school.

    Emerson: I started school.

    Natty Bumpercar: Are you so excited?

    Emerson: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're so smart, though. You're going to do such a great job, right?

    Emerson: What if someone talks to me?

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson. No, no, no, no, no. Knock, knock. Oh, oh, oh. Uh, who, who's there? Baby butt. Come on. Fine. I'll play.

    Emerson: Baby butt who? Baby butt in the toilet. Oh, no, no. That's disgusting. Come on.

    Natty Bumpercar: You baby butt in the toilet. Knock, knock. Oh, we got another one? All right. Who is there? Boo-boo. Boo-boo who?

    Emerson: Boo-boo in the toilet and then he farted on. No, this is not the kind of show that. And then he farted. And then he farted. And then he farted in the toilet and then he pooped on someone's face.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're going to get me in trouble. I can't even stand. I'm going to get, I'm going to get in big trouble. This isn't how we talk in the Bumper Podcast. Yes, we do. Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Hey, we got to go. But ladies and gentlemen, thanks for listening to the Bumper Podcast. Yeah, bye. I'm Natty Bumpercar. What's your name? Ah! Ah!

    Emerson: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

  • Bumperpodcast #189: Hard to listen to

    Bumperpodcast #189: Hard to listen to

    Natty Bumpercar has some guests on this week’s show … Some guests that seem to be totally focused on breaking the Bumperpodcast.

    Do you break things? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In this chaotic and hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to interview two very young guests, Oliver and Emerson (Emmy), with unpredictable results. The children struggle to follow podcast etiquette, touching equipment, making potty jokes, and punching each other while Natty tries desperately to keep the interview on track. Emmy sings "Happy Birthday" and the kids attempt to tell jokes about pigs, cows, and alligators with varying degrees of coherence. What was meant to be a sweet interview with kindergarten-aged guests becomes a comedic disaster as Natty learns that interviewing small children is perhaps the most difficult challenge the Bumperpodcast has ever faced. The episode ends with Natty declaring it "unlistenable" and "untenable" while bidding farewell to the chaotic tiny guests.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was told that this was going to go well these kids have been trained… is this unlistenable bumper podcast it's it's undoable i'm gonna tell you that right now”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “That was the quietest story ever i don't know about your future in broadcasting buddy”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We've had punching in the Buffer Podcast today… Emmy, no hit. Ollie, no hit. Ollie, seriously. You're a brute.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #children #interviews #kindergarten #chaos #jokes #singing #podcasting #birthday

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: whoa wow hi everybody it's me natty bumper car and i got some guests today in the bumper podcast you gotta stand up now you gotta talk into there hello hello he says oliver can you say hello yeah man where's the hearing the hearing is in your ears don't worry it just sounds the same way as what why because your ears are your hearing parts where you hear but hi hey did you just start something what'd you just start where'd you just start going what's this that's a wire and it was in a microphone but what i'm asking you a question what did you just start doing in the mornings where do you go every day where do you go don't touch that no touching go to kindergarten you go to kindergarten what do you do there oh no why would you say that oliver what do you do can you say hi hi good job ollie where's the speak the speak is in the uh so it goes into the microphone through the cord and into the computer can you see these little lines down here those lines if you watch them if i get louder they get bigger and if i get quieter they get smaller so if i was a mouse it would be like this and if i was a dragon it would be like this crazy huh tell me a story that's too quiet that was the quietest story ever i don't know about your future in broadcasting buddy tell me your favorite thing a big butt no no potty talk we don't work that way i don't what you bake i baked what what did i bake i did not hey we don't have any sponsors that's too much too loud what you just did there is it's called over modulating and we try to avoid that in the business because it makes people's ears hurt now i thought you were going to tell me about kindergarten do you go to kindergarten every day oliver can you sing me a song guys we're not supposed to touch any of this you guys are a very difficult interview emerson you used to be an easy all right all right so you're not going to tell them anything about anything you don't have to touch that remember so what you do is those are just some wires for the microphone ollie stop trying to grab everything dear a bumper podcast i was told that this was going to go well these kids have been trained don't touch any of that no no no that's just the uh software that's recording us right now is this unlistenable bumper podcast it's it's undoable i'm gonna tell you that right now is this untenable is it unremarkable i think so emmy sing me a song

    Unknown: i'm

    Natty Bumpercar: I need it to be louder. I can't even hear you.

    Unknown: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Peter. Happy birthday to Peter.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it Peter's birthday? I didn't know that.

    Unknown: My birthday. Happy birthday to you.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's not your birthday for a few weeks. Happy birthday, Ollie. Ollie. No punching, Ollie. That's right. We've had punching in the Buffer Podcast today.

    Unknown: Beep, beep, beep.

    Natty Bumpercar: Beep, beep, beep. Emmy, no hit. Ollie, no hit. Ollie, seriously. You're a brute.

    Unknown: Why did you… Oh, tell a joke. What did the pig say? Dang. What did the pig say?

    Natty Bumpercar: Emmy, no potty talk.

    Unknown: What did the pig say with a cow? The pig jumped over the cow like a deer.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, Emerson, Oliver said moo. Is that not correct? Okay. Well, I'm Daddy Bumper Car. These are the tiny Bum Pops.

    Unknown: Yeah, because Daddy told me… He told me a joke about an alligator. What did the alligator say with a mouse? Cuckoo. The alligator…

    Natty Bumpercar: What did the alligator say? Don't stare at the lines. I know it could be mesmerizing, but you want to keep talking. You want to keep going.

    Unknown: I have to do it all over.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. What if we do this?

    Unknown: Knock, knock. Who's there?

    Natty Bumpercar: Cuckoo.

    Unknown: Cuckoo. Hi. Alligator. What?

    Natty Bumpercar: Ha, ha. Is that funny? I don't know if that was…

    Unknown: It's funny.

    Natty Bumpercar: Not even a little bit. Bumper Podcast. Run while you can. Yeah. Bye.

    Unknown: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.