Tag: jokes

  • Bumperpodcast #390 – Season 2 – Patreon

    Bumperpodcast #390 – Season 2 – Patreon

    A bunch of shenanigans. That’s what this is … Natty comes clean about some ridiculousness. Some fibs. And – announces that we have a super-cool Patreon page. Go check it out! The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening! Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    About This Episode

    In episode 390 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar returns after a mysterious absence, revealing that the "Future Bumpercar" from previous episodes was actually an actor named Reginald from a renaissance fair. Aloysius J. Pig and Doodle Poodle are not amused by Natty's elaborate prank, which abandoned the planned Season 2 storyline. Natty announces the launch of a new Patreon page at patreon.com/nattybumpercar, promising exclusive content, merchandise like t-shirts and stickers, and a book in development. Despite the playful anger from his puppet friends about the production hiatus and pulling the rug out from under listeners, Natty remains optimistic about creating more content through the Patreon platform.

    Memorable Quotes

    “You're putting out a carpet so they can step on it, and you're just pulling it out from under them.”

    — Aloysius J. Pig

    “If you don't make stuff, what are you doing? You're languishing. You're laundering? No, you're laying. You're lackadaisical.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I am here for the craft, for the love of the craft, for the love of the art, if you will.”

    — Reginald/Robot

    Topics: #patreon #behindthescenes #pranks #season2 #contentcreation #merchandise #podcastproduction

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: you you should have seen the look on you guys's faces this is hilarious this is wait what natty what yeah yeah no no it's me i'm back this is natty this doesn't make any sense remember there's the whole thing it's been a long time since you record with i don't understand what's happening you're not natty uh i almost i never i'm never confused but right now i'm mighty confused i don't know how to what is happening so so so so okay remember we there was like season two and where's natty and natty's in the future and the future natty came back and it was like all crazy and there was like a really cool song and everything and yeah i remember because i made a

    Doodle Poodle: really nice drawings of you in the cave and it was i made some drawings you know natty so this

    Natty Bumpercar: dog over here he made some drawings for you because we were very worried but concerned you understand and you you would disappear and yeah yeah i don't understand what's happening well so that's the funny thing is we i kind of played a big prank on everybody and uh i uh i got the the oh what is this you called him like old natty or something like that we called him future bumper car because he was supposed to be from the future and he said that you you had gone to the future and we were here and we were here and we were here and we were here and we were here and we were here and

    Doodle Poodle: Everything. I'm very, I'm super confused as well.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm sorry, Doodle Poodle. Doodle Poodle, it's weird. You're only coming in through one channel. I can only hear you in my left speaker. Can you fix that? Stop trying to deflect, Bumper Guy. No one's happy right now, okay? You caused an uproar. You caused a hullabaloo. You caused a big what to do is what you did, okay? And so no one's, don't worry, Doodle Poodle, you're okay. Calm, take your deep breaths. Take your deep breaths, okay? The dog is very upset here, Natty. What Aloysius just said is true. Now, there are jokes and there are jokes, but, you know, you've really outdone yourself. You've put out two episodes in like three months now, which is unheard of. I know. People have flocked away. What? Really? Now, can you explain that? Well, yeah, so I've been really busy. Yeah. Busy, seriously? Yeah, I know. But I have. I started, we started a Patreon page. A Patreon, what? Yeah, no, what is this, Bumper Guy? I don't understand. No. Is there something legal involved? Yeah, so it's a place that people can go and they can subscribe to different levels and we can actually start to, you know, like, fund this thing. Hold on a second here. You are speaking my language, my lingua franca, as it were. Now, so you could say we can be raising some, some, some, some sweet, sweet cash on, on, on this Pat, Patrion. Pa, Patrion, yeah, and it's, it's just, it's, it's easy because it's just, I think, I'm trying to think. It's a website and the URL, it's just patrion.com slash nattybumpercar and so people can go there and they can get, like, cool things. Like, we're trying to figure out T-shirts and buttons and stickers and, like, exclusive stuff that only the people who subscribe to the Patreon can see. Which is kind of neat. Like, we're doing silly unboxing videos. We're getting the studio all set up so that we can start to really pump out more content. More content, more content, more content, more content. Man, I can't, what else are we gonna make? We had Snowflake, the webcomic that you did. We do the podcast every so often. I hope it's more often now. We did Piggin' Pals. We did that every day for, like, I don't know, five months. So, I mean, we got so much content. Now, is there a user agreement? Is there some sort of EULA? Is there some sort of thing that I, I feel like I need to read over this paperwork before we go full, full, full bore. Excuse me. Yeah. Good one. Full pig. Full pig. Thank you. With this whole thing. It's not that funny, okay? Full bore is not something we say in, in, in my world, okay? It's not a, it's not a nice thing to say, all right? Yeah, don't say that. So, it's already, it's already launched. It's already there. It's already, like, everything, I, we, I made all sorts of cool images and levels and videos. I've already have, like, a welcome, welcome to the Patreon type thing. And, yeah, so it's just gonna be a fun thing. So, I hope, you know, we'll, we'll, we'll definitely promote it and plug it. And hopefully people will start hopping on. And that would be amazing. Uh, because the thing is, is we love making stuff, obviously. Oh, well, do we really, though? Yes, of course we do. Or else I wouldn't be standing in a freezing cold room, uh, this shed, no insulation, no heat, no power, uh, making this right now, right? I mean, it's just fun to make stuff. If you don't make stuff, what are you doing? You're languishing. You're laundering? No, you're laying. You're lackadaisical. It's a lot of L words. Uh, like, uh, lima beans? Uh, lappa dappa? I'm trying to think. There's not a lot of L words, are there? Uh, excuse me, everyone. I feel like I should step on your toes a bit to ask a question. Am I still required here? Holy guacamole, I forgot he was even still here. Yeah, that's another mystery. Who is this dude, Matty? I don't know, like, who is he? Well, um, my name is… I didn't ask you. Well, finally. Yeah. Matty, not you. Okay, no need to be rude. Uh, he did ask me, though. Um, so, he is… not some random dude that I found at a renaissance fair, uh, who is looking for work. Wait a minute. He's definitely not that. Are we paying him? Because if you're finding just actors on the streets, they don't just act for nothing, do they? If I may… You may not. You may not. Pig. Not nice. No, no, Pig and Lou is on to something important here, I feel. So, if we can just get actors, what are we paying everybody here for? Are we paying you? And that, sir, is a direct question. Do not try to facilitate or obfuscate my answer, please. Okay, I am here for the craft, for the love of the craft, for the love of the art, if you will.

    Robot: Well, um, my actual name is Reginald, and I have been in an acting troupe. My entire life.

    Natty Bumpercar: And, well, I'm just happy to have come here and done the research and all the work. And, of course, I'm going to put a hat out if you would… He's going to throw a hat? Why? Like, to… What do you do? To do what? Throw a couple of coins in. What? No way! This is… You're not going to busk here. This is a studio. What are you talking about? This is like a residence. Kind of bizarre. Keep your hand on your head. Um, yeah, we… Reginald, I'm… I do appreciate… I appreciate all the work you did and, uh, everything, but, you know, we kind of talked about how you didn't want to be paid, and so I think probably throwing a hat out at this point is not a great idea. And, really, uh, not a happy audience. Nope. Not a happy audience here right now. Well, then, I suppose I will be on my way, but not before I give you a final bow and bid you adieu. Okay, uh, thanks, Reginald. We'll see you later.

    Robot: All the world's a stage!

    Natty Bumpercar: He didn't say all the world is a stage. Come on, bumper car, you got to stop bringing random people into the house, okay? It's just… It's just weird, though. Yeah, but… Yeah, but it was kind of funny, right? The whole thing, the future, and, you know, we got two cool episodes out of it, and… Nope. I am seeing through this. I am seeing through this facade. I'm seeing through this ruse. You just didn't want to keep doing all the production. And making the songs. You did two… Because we had a whole script written out. We had a whole thing figured out that we were going to do. There was an outline. Remember season two? We were super excited about it. Well, yeah, and, uh… Shh! That's behind the scenes. You didn't want to do the work! Okay. So that's behind the scenes stuff, pig. Uh, and it was a ton of work, and I wanted to focus on the Patreon, and I'm sure you'll be sure we're going to do episodic content at some point. Right? I assume… You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself there, Natty. Just absolutely beside yourself. Just, what are you doing? Not just to yourself, but to your friends, us, and to your listeners. You're putting out a carpet so they can step on it, and you're just pulling it out from under them. You're putting a carpet over mud… Yeah. …to protect your listeners. And then you're ripping it out underneath them. Oh, now I feel terrible. And you should. I don't know how you sleep at night, but you should feel very rough. Uh, you know what? I'm done for today. Talk about your Patreon thing again. Plug it away. You know, whatevs. But, man, this is really having me, uh, refocus on some of my issues here. I'm really looking at my life, is all I'm saying. Come on, buddy. Okay. Um, well, yeah. Hey, everybody. So, I'm really sorry about the trick. Uh, but it's okay, because we have a Patreon. Patreon.com slash NattyBumperCar. Please go check it out. Uh, there'll be exclusive content. There'll be, like, prizes you can get if you join certain levels. We're… T-shirts, buttons, stickers, and a really cool thing. We're working on a book. All of us. Uh, and it's pretty far along. And so, I hope in the next couple months that I'll have, uh, something for you to check out. Because, you know, we like to make stuff. Make stuff for you. Make stuff for you. That's what we do. Remember the cool song? Uh, that was… That was a lot of fun to make. Maybe there'll be more songs. I don't know. I've never fired a client, but, uh, I'm on the verge of cutting you loose. Yeah, I got your, uh, invoice. Uh, I'm gonna have that paid for you tomorrow, okay? Well, welcome back to the… Oh, my best client. Natty Bumpercar.

    Robot: What, what? If you like what we're doing, please subscribe to our podcast. Like it. Give us a review. Tell your friends to listen. It helps more than you could know. Don't forget to go to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Natty Bumpercar. Every little bit helps. Toodles!

    Producer: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program, and many others like it, on the Non-Productive Network, is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No-Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

    Doodle Poodle: Thanks for watching.

    Unknown: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

  • Bumperpodcast #333 – Best Guest

    Bumperpodcast #333 – Best Guest

    My favorite shows are where I have a guest host – and, today is no exception. Making his way to the microphone, it’s Ollie! He asked what I was doing when I was setting up and I said ‘I’m about to make a podcast’. He ran away, and said “I’ll be right back” over his shoulder. It was adorable.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     


    About This Episode

    In this charming episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar is joined by his five-year-old guest Oliver for a delightfully chaotic conversation. Oliver attempts to perform his original song about animals and dinosaurs, revealing that hippos and owls are his favorite creatures. The duo discusses swimming achievements, with Oliver practicing dives at the pool while Natty acts as his tugboat. They share silly jokes, talk about petting baby ducks and rabbits, and do some creative math. The episode showcases the spontaneous, improvisational humor that comes from conversations with young children, complete with lightsaber interruptions and plenty of tangents.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Animals are my favorite, animals are my favorite, dinosaurs, and so are dinosaurs my favorite. Oh, I forget.”

    — Oliver

    “I think when you're 85 you're gonna have to sit in the middle of the pool and help me get to the side.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “What did the monkey say to the banana? You're appealing! Does that make sense because you peel a banana?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #animals #music #swimming #childhood #family #jokes #summeractivities #dinosaurs

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Oliver (guest)

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i believe that there's a little mouse in my

    Oliver (guest): studio are you a little mouse no i'm a human a human what a human five-year-old i'm a human

    Natty Bumpercar: five-year-old i was going for like human being you know what a human being is what you you're a human being isn't that a funny thing you know what sometimes people say you should be a human doing not just a human being does that make any sense yeah what does it mean i don't know it means you should be doing stuff not just being you know you're not just taking up space on the planet and air for everybody else to breathe you got to be doing stuff man are you ever doing stuff yeah

    Oliver (guest): like what do you do i don't know i think i forget you forget

    Natty Bumpercar: well let's do this let's introduce you who are you anyway oliver hi oliver it's so nice to see you today glug glug glug glug glug um what were you playing with recently i don't know you don't remember you're just upstairs i thought you had a whole world going on weren't there some firemen yes and some animals yes i asked you yesterday we were talking to somebody and i said hey ollie can you sing your song and you were like what song i forget you still forget yes that's so sad so ollie used to sing this cool song that he made up that i loved to pieces and it was called uh what

    Oliver (guest): was it called i love animals and dinosaurs and animals and any animals in the world in the whole

    Natty Bumpercar: world yeah that wasn't the name was it the name of the song it's a really long name for a song

    Oliver (guest): You say, some other animals, and then at the end, you say all the animals.

    Natty Bumpercar: And you, do you, okay, so now that you've figured it out, now that you've got it in your head, do you think you can, I don't know, maybe sing a version of it for us?

    Unknown: Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, ready? I'm gonna, I'm gonna go, like, just like in song practice. One, and a two, and a?

    Oliver (guest): Um, animals are my favorite, animals are my favorite, dinosaurs, and so are dinosaurs my favorite. Oh, I forget.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think, okay, I know where you got confused there. That's pretty confusing. But it was like, animals are my favorite, animals are my favorite, animals are my favorite, and so are dinosaurs.

    Oliver (guest): No, you only say, animals are my favorite. Two. Sometimes, and, dinosaurs are my favorite two times, and farm animals are my favorite two times.

    Natty Bumpercar: What about, you used to say, uh, and so are fishies, and so are whales, yaddle.

    Oliver (guest): Yeah, that's what I do after I say my two favoritest.

    Natty Bumpercar: What is your mostest favoritestestestestest?

    Oliver (guest): Hippos and owls.

    Natty Bumpercar: Aw, hippos and owls are cute. I think I used to have a drawing or a painting that had a hippopotamus. Oh no, it was a rhino. rhinoceros but he had a little bird on his back it was a red bird so maybe should I try to find or make a drawing with a hippo and an owl yeah would that be your favorite a colorful owl like what a rainbow owl yeah rainbow owls come out during the day did you know that all the other owls they they sleep

    Oliver (guest): during the day yeah are you so smart yes are you too smart I think you do

    Natty Bumpercar: though I think if you thought about it it's 100 plus 100 is something creeping me out what that's creepy what bubbles what are you talking what do you know I'm it's moving by itself yes a lightsaber not a not bubbles at all I don't even know he was touching it I don't think it was moving was it was it really don't hit me in the nose so what just happened was we were doing a little basic math not even basic math but we were doing a little basic math but we were doing a little basic math I guess because it's a hundred oh well let's just to go back to that just to circle back for a second so 100 plus 100 is look how many look look look at my fingers oh you broke it oh one look 100 hey I'll fix it later it's actually these don't really fix very well oh maybe we'll put some tape on it I'll put some tape on it okay so but look at my fingers ready 100 plus 100 is boom BAM good job oh but you still remembered us that's pretty cool

    Oliver (guest): too what tricks do you have tricks yeah what kind of tricks do you have okay what

    Natty Bumpercar: part of that was a trick were you tricking him into giving you the answer yes look at her hands we're gonna see who wins

    Oliver (guest): let's just say this is chocolate she left it in the grown-up no more tricks man okay what are you learning to do with the pool you can dive it's hard

    Natty Bumpercar: right but are you is it are you scared at all or I'm not this kid up big you know you're not scared of the big diving board yeah because you're there oh ollie that was unintentionally sweet what you just did cuz so what I do is I swim into the middle of the pool because the big diving board it puts you out in the middle of the pool and then Ollie can swim the whole way across but sometimes he gets a little bit tired and sometimes the shock of his dive or dive in quotes knocks the wind out of him and so I have to ferry him to the side I'm like a tugboat for you right I'm like a tugboat and you're like a tugboat and you're like a tugboat and I'm like a tugboat and you're like a big boat in the harbor. And I have to go. Have you ever managed to swim all the

    Oliver (guest): way to the bottom of the pool? I tried. Did you make it? No but didn't we try it

    Natty Bumpercar: the other day? Yeah. Remember I sank all the way to the bottom and I was sitting on the bottom of the pool? Yeah. And then you had your goggles on and you looked down under and then you tried to come down but you couldn't make it. And then we tried what was it you were in front of me and we both tried to go down and you were like nope nope nope and so you went back up and then you held on to my back and you were gonna try it one more time but we didn't quite make it. It's okay we'll get there it's a deep deep pool it's like 11 it's over 11 feet deep.

    Oliver (guest): I think when I'm as old as you I can do that. Wait when you're as old as

    Natty Bumpercar: me let me think how old are you now? Five. So that will be in 40 years. You know how old I'll be? What? 40 plus 45 I will be 85 years old. That's even older than Gigi and Pop-Up right now. Oh my gosh. So old. Will you still hang out and do podcasts with me when I'm 85? Yes. Thank goodness. I think if when I'm 85 you're gonna have to sit in the middle of the pool and help me get to the side. Will you do that for me? I appreciate it. Thank you very much. Because I'm gonna be too old. I'm gonna be too tired. I'm gonna be like I can't make it. I don't think I can make it. I'm gonna sound like a I'm gonna sound like Gandalf. Somebody come and help me. I'm a wizard. You're a wizard Harry. Oh that's actually Dumbledore. So what else is going on this summer? You got any big fun plans?

    Oliver (guest): Oh what did you pet the other day? A duck. You pet a, was it a baby duck? Yes and a rabbit. I pet all. I pet a lot of animals. Did they say thank you when you pet them? No they just stayed where they were. And said they just didn't do nothing.

    Natty Bumpercar: They didn't, the duck wasn't like thank you. And what did the bunny rabbit, what would he say?

    Unknown: No they just said. Bip, beep beep. Beep. Beep. Beep, beep, beep.

    Natty Bumpercar: Beep, beep, beep, beep. Really? No I think he would say, wait how do bunnies talk? What do they sound like? Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep. Do you like that book that I read to you? Miffy is a Bunny? Yeah. Miffy is a Bunny. Miffy is a bunny artist. Or I forget how it goes. Uh your friend I don't know if you do you even remember? Nicole gave that to us a long time ago she lives in Baltimore uh-oh listen bumper podcast we have lost Ollie he is on the floor he is gone he is done with these stories he is done with me asking him questions but uh wait you can still hear oh that's he's got headphones on that's why he's he's still engaged uh so anyway I'm Natty we've had a fun week nothing super exciting just a lot of shows oh yeah now you done you can stick around because when you scream goodbye people

    Oliver (guest): assume that you're actually leaving but that's you can stick around um that was another that

    Natty Bumpercar: was a joke man you're full of jokes who knew are you full of magic full of tricks yeah I'm full of uh I'm full of I'm full of

    Unknown: glitter and silliness and comedy I'm full of comedy yeah hey kid look at me I got a joke for you want to hear it yeah what did the dump truck say when he went down the road what he was all like oh who threw away these nails ow now ow ow ow ow I don't know if that was funny but I

    Natty Bumpercar: appreciate it hey what did the butter say to the bread slide on over here that's kind of fun that's kind of weird uh oh what did the monkey say to the banana I don't know you're appealing does that make sense because you peel a banana that's the only one of those three that made any sense by the way those are uh terrible off the top of my head jokes uh next week no next week in two weeks never mind you don't care we're gonna be on Cape Cod pretty soon and it's gonna be amazing right yeah yeah all right well you want to say goodbye to everybody say one two three

  • Bumperpodcast #309 – Halloween Kids

    Bumperpodcast #309 – Halloween Kids

    The kids and I babble on about Halloween, and stuff. They are harder to herd than kittens.

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

     

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     


    About This Episode

    In this chaotic Halloween special of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by two young guests, Ollie and Emerson, for a wild conversation about trick-or-treating, costumes, and candy. The trio discusses their Halloween adventures including two parades, parties, and collecting candy—including full-size candy bars that mysteriously went missing. They also talk about their carved pumpkin named "Daddy Junior Oliver Junior" that was eaten by squirrels, and debate whether pumpkins are fruits or vegetables. The episode features improvisational comedy, chaotic energy, and plans for next year's Halloween yard decorations involving Muppets and cliffs.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Hey, little kids, if you think a pumpkin is a vegetable, it's a fruit, everyone.”

    — Ollie

    “The face was taken off because those little, little squirrels are eating my little pumpkin.”

    — Emerson

    “The only thing this basement is haunted by is by the dog peeing in it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #trick-or-treating #candy #costumes #pumpkins #kids #family

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hello there everyone it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast and today i have two very special guests who are you you're who that's not even a name is it is that your name yeah that's a nice name and what's your name emerson yeah yeah he was trying to think of something pretty pretty clever you're trying to be clever and slick eh what are we what are we talking about today guys oh i know who i am oh wait now you know who you are perfect who are you i'm just gonna sing oh you're that's your name oh

    Unknown: hi just gonna sing how you doing no i'm thinking of my name okay you clearly said sing no i didn't

    Natty Bumpercar: i don't like to sing you don't do you like the movie sing no okay ollie do you like the movie sing yeah what's your favorite character on the movie sing johnny who's johnny which one is he

    Unknown: he's a gorilla silly

    Natty Bumpercar: he's a silly gorilla or am i a silly silly

    Unknown: so oh wait perfect who are you um i'm oh uh

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hey what's up jay how you doing huh you jay you in my house huh you like to sing i heard huh

    Unknown: no i don't like to sing i hate singing oh okay

    Natty Bumpercar: hey so jay what are you gonna talk about today huh we're gonna talk about something what are we gonna talk about um what are you here for on the on the

    Unknown: trick-or-treating we're gonna talk about trick-or-treating and halloween nope

    Natty Bumpercar: oh yeah i think that it's a good idea i think it's a fun thing we can recap you can just talk buddy what what are you gonna whisper to me okay so emerson had something to whisper to me And we had to pause the podcast. But now we're back. And now we're going to talk about, I don't know, trick-or-treating Halloween. We're going to talk about trick-or-treating. We're going to talk about costumes and trick-or-Halloween-ing.

    Unknown: What's the blue stuff?

    Natty Bumpercar: The blue stuff down there?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's just, those are called waveforms. And when you record, when you talk into a microphone, the computer is taking in your sound. Cool. And it's giving you a graphical representation of what the peaks and valleys of your voice are. So if you talk a little bit louder, then you'll notice that the peaks up there go a little bit higher, huh? And if you talk really quietly, then they're going to be really, really, really low. Yeah, right? So, Ollie, what did you do for Halloween? I got candy. Do you love candy?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, Emerson got a lot of candy. You know, some. Some people were giving out full-size. Candy bars. Candy bars. I saw a full-size Snickers bar.

    Unknown: And I lost it.

    Natty Bumpercar: You lost it?

    Unknown: And I also lost my full-size Snick-um-Skittles.

    Natty Bumpercar: How does that happen? How does that?

    Unknown: I think I left them at, I think I left them at.

    Natty Bumpercar: Blah and Blah's house?

    Unknown: No, not Blah and Blah's house. I. What are you doing? I left them at my coffee shop. Right, Daddy?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, that's right. That's it. I'm not being sarcastic.

    Unknown: I'm not being sarcastic.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm not being sarcastic at all. I'm not being sarcastic. So, what did we do? That was a big day. We had two parades. Ollie had a parade and then you had a, and then, and then we had to pick you up and they got you dressed. What was your costume?

    Unknown: I can't hear you guys. Oh, I know who it is. I know who it is. It's, it's. Oh, the music stopped. Don't worry. It's, it's. Oh, that's weird.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it somebody from?

    Unknown: Pickle and Peanut.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no, not Pickle and Peanut. Pickle and Peanut's scary. Yeah. What is Pickle and Peanut? Don't they do a lot of songs like, oosh, oosh, oosh, oosh. Oosh, oosh, oosh. Pickle and Peanut. Oosh, oosh, oosh, oosh. Oosh, oosh, oosh, oosh. What do you want? Pickle and Peanut. Pickle, Pickle and, Pickle and Peanut.

    Unknown: So cute. We made the show, everyone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Did you, and we went to, so we had two parades and then we went to a party. What'd you do, what'd you do at the party?

    Unknown: We ate lots of candy.

    Natty Bumpercar: At the party you did?

    Unknown: What party?

    Natty Bumpercar: The first party.

    Unknown: The Justin. Oh, we ate Rice Krispies. Justin.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, no, not that party. That's a birthday party.

    Unknown: Justin.

    Natty Bumpercar: But that was a birthday party. That was a birthday party. We went to a Halloween party, remember?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: And it was a backyard. It was a backyard and you guys were swinging.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Unknown: Wait, what on what?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you have any recollection of Halloween at all?

    Unknown: What did you say, Dad?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you remember anything from Halloween?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: No.

    Unknown: What did you say, guys?

    Natty Bumpercar: I said, do you remember anything from Halloween?

    Unknown: There can't be a game.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, give this to Emerson. It's his turn. You guys are awesome.

    Unknown: Oh, come on. Wait. Microphone. Microphone.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, what are we going to do now?

    Unknown: I think.

    Natty Bumpercar: I feel like we've had better conversations. Remember, we weren't going to yell because you know what that does? What? It hurts people's ears.

    Unknown: Yeah, man. And then they get amnesia.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then they get amnesia.

    Unknown: And then their ear bleeds.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. This is taking a real turn for the worse.

    Unknown: And then their ears blow up.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. Because this is the worst story I've ever heard in my entire life.

    Unknown: And then the ears are dead.

    Natty Bumpercar: All right, well, so, since they have no, don't touch the microphone, since they have no recollection as to what happened on Halloween, which I was told we were going to talk about.

    Unknown: About, we were talking about candy, and Daddy was going to be like.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did we give out any candy at our house?

    Unknown: Nope.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, why not?

    Unknown: Because I stole a little bit.

    Natty Bumpercar: You did?

    Unknown: Yeah. Now I have. Now I have 100. 59 pieces.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, remember what happened to our pumpkin, where we carved it, and then we put it out, and then we came home, and what had happened to it?

    Unknown: The face fell off because of the.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did the face fall off, or was the face taken off?

    Unknown: The face was taken off because those little, little squirrels are eating my little pumpkin.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then what did you do? Daddy Junior. That's the name of the pumpkin? I didn't know the pumpkin had a name. And I really didn't know it was named Daddy Pumpkin. Daddy Junior.

    Unknown: And his last name was Oliver Junior.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's his last name? Yeah. So his first name is Daddy Junior, and his last name is Oliver Junior?

    Unknown: And his nickname is Allison Junior.

    Natty Bumpercar: And his nickname, this is ridiculous. No, it's not.

    Unknown: His nickname, no, his nickname's called Pumpkin Man.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pumpkin Man, Pumpkin Man, doing everything that a pumpkin can.

    Unknown: And that flat pumpkin that we put it outside, his name is called Oliver Superhero. Oliver Superhero.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's a really funny name. That's not true. So is Super his middle name?

    Unknown: Hey, little kids, if you think a pumpkin is a vegetable, it's a fruit, everyone. Wait, is that true? Yeah. And you make pumpkin pie, guys.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's true, everyone.

    Unknown: I don't know if that's true.

    Natty Bumpercar: It grows on the ground.

    Unknown: It is. Well, it's a gourd.

    Natty Bumpercar: It does sprout, yeah. I feel like now we're getting into something.

    Unknown: And then it grows. And then it grows green, and then it grows a big, big, big orange pumpkin. And do you know, we're in a haunted basement.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't feel like this basement is haunted, is it?

    Unknown: No, because.

    Natty Bumpercar: The only thing this basement is haunted by is by the dog peeing in it. Ew.

    Unknown: There's ghosts.

    Natty Bumpercar: What? There's ghosts. There's ghosts?

    Unknown: Can I have one of your paintings, please?

    Natty Bumpercar: No. You've already got several in your room.

    Unknown: Really?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Unknown: There's several. Who, Dad?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I hear you. You're sitting on my lap. I can see you saying, ooh. Ooh. You're not a very. Whoa. Now, what is that? That, I have no idea what it was. Oh, my goodness. I'm so scared. Ooh. Ew, fox pee. Oh, stop it, Emerson. That's rude. Let's go. That's doggy potty talk. All right. Well, so that was our Halloween. We went trick-or-treating. We went to two parties. We did two parades. We went out walking for about an hour and a half, and then we came home, and no one had come to our house except for a squirrel who ate our pumpkin. The end. And we all got stomach aches, and the next day, it was very rough to go to school. Some people didn't want to go to school, and some people had a very rough day at school because we have a difficult time. If we have a big night the next day, watch out, right?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. That's what happened to you. Ooh.

    Unknown: There's a ghost.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. Oh, and there was a cool house that had a Jaws theme, and they had all these cool cut-out wooden things, and we've decided that next year, we're going to try to do some sort of cool yard theme, right? Oh, bless you. Do you know what it's going to be?

    Unknown: I think it's going to be Mermaid. It's Halloween.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think it was. Yeah, you're right. It was the Muppets Save Halloween. Good job.

    Unknown: I think it was Elmo Saving Cookie Monster because evil. Grover was pushing him off a cliff, and then Elmo saved him, and he pushed Monster Grover off the cliff, and that's the end.

    Natty Bumpercar: It sounds like we have to build a cliff.

    Unknown: Oh, a real live one?

    Natty Bumpercar: A real live cliff is what we have to build, yes.

    Unknown: How hard.

    Natty Bumpercar: How hard. What? Both of your English language skills have deteriorated. How deep. There you go. How deep. Super deep. Deep. It was super duper deep.

    Unknown: How long was that?

    Natty Bumpercar: Super duper. That's super duper deep. I hit that bass. Boom, bing, boom, bing, boom. That was not very good. I was excited about the song, but then I had the accordion in my head in the wrong state. All right. Can everybody say one, two, three, goodbye? One, two, three.

    Unknown: Goodbye.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson, you didn't do it. We're supposed to do it as a team. We're going to say one, two, three. Goodbye. And then it was going to. Goodbye.

    Unknown: Goodbye.

  • Bumperpodcast 260 – Life is Good – Comedy Podcast

    Bumperpodcast 260 – Life is Good – Comedy Podcast

    Natty Bumpercar is interrupted by Rufus T. Rufus while trying to deliver the nice message that ‘Life is Good’, then Pig comes in with accusations, and everything works out in the end.

    Do you like nice things? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

  • Bumperpodcast 259 – Dennis Has A Podcast

    Bumperpodcast 259 – Dennis Has A Podcast

    Pig is back with a great interview! This time it’s with Dennis from ‘Dennis has a Podcast’ – and it’s a blast. Also, Natty talks about this and that and stuff, too!

    Do you yes? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Go to these places to find Dennis:

    Website: http://dhapshow.com/
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DHAPshowPodcast
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/DHAPshow
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/DHAPshow/