Tag: illness

  • Bumperpodcast 47 – Sniffles

    Bumperpodcast 47 – Sniffles

    WE ARE IN AN ABSOLUTE TAILSPIN OF SICKNESS.

    Oops! Caps lock was on . . .

    BUT – WE ARE IN AN ABSOLUTE TAILSPIN OF SICKNESS!! WITH SNIFFLES AND COLDS AND RUNNY NOSES AND SNEEZES AND BLECH!

    Stand back . . . We may be catching.

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 47, host Natty Bumpercar hilariously laments his miserable state after catching a cold from his son, who recently started daycare. Natty rambles deliriously about his declining health, admitting he doesn't exercise, rarely leaves his chair, and only flosses before dentist appointments. After two weeks of being sick, he's finally going to the doctor—something he never does. Between jokes about feeling worse than garbage and requesting "chicken snoodle soup" (with a chicken and a poodle), Natty delivers a fever-fueled, self-deprecating monologue that showcases his comedic timing even while under the weather.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I would say that I feel like garbage but that would be giving garbage a bad name.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Somebody bring me a chicken and a poodle with some soup. I think it's the only way I'm gonna get out of this tail bed.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #daycare #health #self-deprecatinghumor #doctorvisit

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh it's my nose it's my nose and it's my head and it's my eyes and it's my aches and it's my tired and it's my sneezing oh bumper podcast it's so early in the season and already the sickness has taken over the house yeah that's right the boy the tidiest one among us has been shipped off to daycare he came back a different person he came back someone who gives out sickness he's patient zero yeah that's right but here's the thing i had heard that the baby was gonna get sick i was well aware this was gonna happen and i had heard the baby was gonna get sick and i had heard that i was gonna get sick but so soon how could it possibly happen so soon i'm a strapping young man i'm the pinnacle of health i mean i don't exercise i don't particularly eat right i don't get out of my chair for probably 14 hours of the day but i like to think of myself you know i have a little sparkle in my eye there's orange juice in the fridge uh so i i mean i in theory i'm close to it i floss my teeth when i you know a week before i go to the dentist and what's not healthy about that i walk the dog i don't know i don't know what i'm trying to tell you about for podcast i think i think i might be uh delirious with fever i think i might you know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i actually have to i'm going to the doctor today guess what i don't do guess what natty bumper guard don't do he don't go to the doctor when he's sick but this has been two weeks of sick i'm sick of being sick i said to someone the other day i would say that i feel like garbage but that would be giving garbage a bad name and then i was i didn't want to laugh at my own little joke i thought it was a cute little joke because it's just like i'm worse off i'm worse off than garbage oh oh i don't feel good bumper podcast somebody bring me some chicken chicken snoodle soup somebody bring me a chicken and a poodle with some soup i think it's the only way i'm gonna get out of this tail bed i don't i don't even know

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  • Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Bumperpodcast #28 – The Sickness

    Sooooooo sickly . . . Everyone had been hobbled by the funk. Now figers are being pointed. Fingers are being waggled.
    It is a rough scene.

    **cough** **cough** **cough**

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

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    About This Episode

    In episode 28 of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar records while battling a terrible cold that has infected the entire household. Between labored breathing and cold medicine-induced confusion, Natty rambles about the mysterious origins of the illness and whether the baby brought it home. The episode features Natty's signature stream-of-consciousness style as he struggles through foggy thinking, missed trains of thought, and the universal truth that when the baby is sick, nobody sleeps. This deliriously funny episode captures what it's like to parent while feeling completely miserable.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have to breathe to stay alive. It's one of my little defects. A lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but I do.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and I just saw the train roll off. I have my ticket and I missed it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “When the baby's sick nobody sleeps. Nobody. No one. Know how. No sleep bumper podcast.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #parenting #coldmedicine #sleepdeprivation #babies #rambling #sickness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh the sickness has gotten this bumper podcast it's it's in the house we couldn't stop it we had the windows open we had the windows shut we had doors and then i don't go outside i don't talk to people i don't even i don't even talk to people the first one was i don't see people the second one was i don't talk to people how do i get sick do you hear my nose it's i can't breathe i have to breathe to stay alive it's a known fact natty bumper car has to breathe to stay alive it's one of my little defects a lot of you guys out there don't have to breathe to stay alive but i do and now when this is done i'm not the only one who's sick is sick and now there's finger pointing there's finger waggling people are waggling their fingers at each other because they're saying what did did the baby get us all sick well he's a baby he doesn't go outside was it the mommy who got us sick we don't really use the term mommy and daddy at this point we're just like hey you yes you pick up that baby we're very general around the house we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to put labels on anything we don't want to you know start saying you're you're the mom you're the dad because you know bumper podcast let's be frank we're not really sure about any of it not well hold on we're sure about who's what and who's who i should point that out oh i've gotten confused bumper podcast i have to say cold medicine is deliriously delir silly if i stuff it not it knocks you on your mental tuchus which is where i am and now i've completely lost my train of thought i am on the platform at the train station at the train of thoughts train station and i just saw the train roll off i have my ticket i paid for a ticket i have my ticket and i and i missed it i missed the train did i mention that i'm sick i don't do well when i'm sick bumper podcast i i wallow in sickness i fail in sickness i want to go to sleep so bad but the baby's sick and when the baby's sick nobody sleeps nobody no one know how no sleep bumper podcast