Tag: illness

  • Bumperpodcast #372 – Sick Natty and Football

    Bumperpodcast #372 – Sick Natty and Football

    On today’s Bumperpodcas, Natty has a bit of the sickness, but is joined by one of his favorite children – who asked him to to tell an old story!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 372 of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar sounds different because he's caught a cold after his family passed around various illnesses. Natty and his co-host discuss flu shots, the meaning of words like "lemonade" and "Gatorade," and share funny thoughts about favorite family members. The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as Natty tells the story of his brief high school football career with the St. Pius Golden Lions, including a knee injury that ended his season before it began. The episode features the show's signature improvisational humor, complete with Winnie the Pooh playing football and a memorable tale about being thrown to the ground in his only play as a wide receiver.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm a panther bear… I said a panda… oh a panda bear you are a little panda bear”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “When I used to live in Brooklyn, my name was Scribble. Because every time I dribbled I would scribble around the court and I would miss the basket.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “He grabbed me with both hands and picked me up off the ground, and he said, get off me. And he threw me down. That was my football experience.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #family #football #highschool #sportsinjuries #childhoodmemories #winniethepooh

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hi everybody it's me natty bumper car and this is how I sound now because I got sick and who is who got me sick was it you no are you sure yes interesting because I feel like you might have been sick a couple of weeks ago with a stomach bug but that was a long time ago yeah I know it was probably Ollie he had a oh wait a minute that's right you had a stomach plug blow a stomach plug and then Ollie had the flu and then ever since then I've had a cold yeah did you know though I got tested for the flu I've been tested twice so far and both times no flu me too you didn't get tested yeah no you didn't get tested at all right sure no I'm not sure of anything are you sure question oh a question mark is in the air let's see I'm gonna walk over to that question block and I'm gonna tap it and what comes out of that question block no one knows it's a mystery well well I

    Unknown: don't know if I took it I think I did you took what the flu shot oh no you definitely had a flu

    Natty Bumpercar: shot oh it hurt yeah now hold on a second you just said you didn't remember if you had it and now you're saying it definitively hurt I don't understand that doesn't

    Unknown: make any sense it did happen but I forgot but now you remember yeah I'm a panther bear you're a

    Natty Bumpercar: panther bear what's a panther bear I said a panda oh a panda bear you are a little panda bear this you know this is not a uh video podcast this is just an audio podcast do you know what audio means um it doesn't show anything audio is sound oh yeah like sound waves sound waves yeah audio is made up of sound waves what was that did you just did you just take a drink and then you choked a little bit yes oh my what are you drinking today minute made lemonade ew I only drink homemade natural lemonade that's made by lemons did you know that no in Georgia probably in Georgia the only kind of lemonade we drink is made by lemons really no did you know that lemon sorry for the cough did you know that lemonade so it's like if it's two words it's lemon and then it's aid and what aid is help I know it's always what help lemon help it's like gator aid gator help is that crazy yeah yeah and so lemon how do you drink lemon help yes that's awesome and gator help gator which is your favorite gator help so I'm going to drink some help or lemon help both i don't care i can't choose you can't shoot they're both your favorite it's kind of like my children you're both my favorite are you sure i'm positive okay thank you yeah who do you think's my who do you think my iso is my most favorite mommy or popcorn and who do you think is my mostest favorite emerson which is me wait no you're my favorite oh wait you and oliver oh no i'm confused you and oliver my favorite popcorn is my most favorite and mommy

    Unknown: is my mostest favoritist why why is popcorn most because she's still just a baby i know you're old

    Natty Bumpercar: you're but she's gonna turn seven uh march 31st that's her birthday i know can you believe that yeah we're like we're in she's almost a year old can you yeah she's probably

    Unknown: six years old right now. Probably. And then she's going to turn seven.

    Natty Bumpercar: So wait, that means she'll be as old as Oliver. Yes, I know. Oh, that's crazy. So there'll be two seven-year-olds in our house.

    Unknown: And then next year she'll be 14.

    Natty Bumpercar: So she'll, and how old will you be? 11? That's, so she's going to be the, she's going to be

    Unknown: the oldest. No, you're not going to

    Natty Bumpercar: really care. No, she won't be my mostest, favoritest anymore because she won't be my baby.

    Unknown: Ollie will. Ollie will. Oh, that's right. He'll only be eight.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, and you'll be 11 and she'll be 14. Yeah. That's kind of bananas. Frank. I don't remember. I didn't call you Frank. Do you remember, do you know your friend Peter? Yeah. So I was talking to him and he had a really interesting concept. He said, um, it was about dog years and, oh, I can't remember it. I can't believe it. But he said something about dog years and then he, um, you know what stinks? I just call, I had to make a phone call because I couldn't remember what he said and then the person that I talked to who I had told it to also couldn't remember. So we have lost an integral part of knowledge. A very special bit of knowledge about dog years and now I'm sad. Are you just going to crunch on ice? Yeah. Is that good? Do you think that's good for your teeth? No. I've heard it's not, but I don't really know. It seems like it's ice. Is it going to hurt them? I don't think it will. Maybe it could. I don't chew ice except for so the ice that you have in your mouth is kind of, it's hard ice, right? No. But it is. But they make this ice that there's like little pellets and they're softer and they're like wonderful to chew on. Like amazing to chew on. That's where you ate today. Did you like it? Yes, it was good. It hurt my stomach. Everything hurts my stomach these days. All I can eat anymore is… It used to.

    Unknown: Remember when it always hurt my stomach when I ever eat? Every time you ate anything

    Natty Bumpercar: you would say, what would you say? Oh, daddy my tummy hurts.

    Unknown: No, my stomach hurts. Oh, my tum-tum. My

    Natty Bumpercar: rummy tum-tum hurts. What's that mean? I don't know. I was just making up a silly word. Yeah, I do remember that. And now daddy's tummy hurts every time he eats. Scribble. Scribble. You know what that is? So, Emerson just found a basketball that's in our basement where we record and it's got the word scribble on it because when I used to live in Brooklyn, New York when I went to Pratt Institute I would go and play basketball on the courts and my name was Scribble. Because every time I dribbled I would scribble around the court and I would miss the basket. Really? Yeah, I love basketball but I'm not very good at it. I didn't play it growing up and so I don't have all those skills that you might

    Unknown: need to have. You played football growing up and then you

    Natty Bumpercar: hurt yourself. No, I played soccer growing up. My whole life I played soccer until I was a sophomore in high school so I was probably 14? 15? 16? No, I was probably 15 and I stopped playing. I didn't make the team so I couldn't play soccer anymore. I know, sad. And then I played senior year I played football. And then he hurt his knee. Knee? Yeah, not my high knee but my knee.

    Unknown: And then he almost died. Nope,

    Natty Bumpercar: that didn't happen. But what did happen it was before, do you know this story? No. So

    Unknown: Oh, you didn't even get to play.

    Natty Bumpercar: I didn't. In junior year I was playing in PE we were outside playing flag football and It was flag? Well, no, no, no so we were playing flag football in PE like in, you know how you have gym? Yeah, gym. Yeah, and so we were outside and we were playing it and our PE coach was the football coach for the next year. He was new. And he came up to me and he had a real southern accent. He said, son, you ever played football before? Like that. And I was just like no? Because I was really skinny and I was really small but I was really fast. And I was like, no, I never played football. Why would I do that? And he's like, next year you're gonna play on the varsity team. Like that. And I was like, okay. And so then I had to start going to practice and practice for high school football was like five, six times a week. It was all the time. The school bought my equipment, like my pads and my helmet, everything. They bought it for me. And then there were football camps over the summer.

    Unknown: Wait, do you still have the stuff around?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, it was so long ago. I don't have any of it. Sad. I know.

    Unknown: Did it have the Georgia sign?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, that was before I went to Georgia. This was in high school.

    Unknown: Oh, what did it look like?

    Natty Bumpercar: It was blue and gold and it was I went to a place called St. Pius and we were the St. Pius, I don't even remember, Golden Lions. We were the Golden Lions. The Golden Lions. And and so

    Unknown: Wendy the Pooh played.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wendy the Pooh played, yeah. And it's hot. And honey broke. And Eeyore, his honey broke? Yeah, and Eeyore's tail fell off. Oh, that's so sad. Did they lose the game? Yeah, but

    Unknown: Eeyore's tail always falls off. Why does it

    Natty Bumpercar: always fall off? I don't know. It feels like they should find a solution for that. And Tigger. Yeah, Tigger's just jumping around. What does he say? And then they got tackled hard. Wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their tops are made out of rubber and their bottoms are made out of springs. They're bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I ain't the only one. Oh, I'm the only one.

    Unknown: Um, wait, no. He got tackled and got a concussion. Who did?

    Natty Bumpercar: Tigger? Tigger. Oh, no. So did the doctors take care of him? No. No? Was Piglet? He wasn't on the field, was he? He's too tiny.

    Unknown: He juked everyone out. Really?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes. What about Kanga and Roo? Did they play? No. Kanga was watching and Roo was rooting? Yeah. And Owl?

    Unknown: Um, we don't want to talk about that. Oh,

    Natty Bumpercar: something awful happened to Owl. So do you know what happened? So I went through we had summer practice. Yeah. And then we had something called two-a-days. And two-a-days are where you have a practice in the morning and then another practice in the afternoon. Wow. So you're practicing for like six hours, eight hours a day. And this is two weeks before school starts. You're at school every day. Eight hours. Boom. Practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice. Because they want you to be ready for the season. And that's in rain. That's in hot. It's everything. And I in the first week I ran straight and then I cut to my right and then I went back to the left. And when I did that, my knee went kablumble. Like that. It went kablumble. And I was like, ow, that hurts. But I was young and I was kind of I didn't know. And I was just like, well, I hurt my knee, but I still played on it for a day or two. And then the team doctor came and I said, hey, my knee feels funny. And he did this little test. And he was like, oh, no. Oh, no. Did your knee go kablumble? And I was like, it did go kablumble. And so then I had to go. They took me to a hospital. And I had to get an MRI. Which, you know, the CAT scan that you were going to get? I hated it. So it's like that. But it was for my knee. So I didn't have to. My head didn't have to go in. But it was like this. It was kind of like a super x-ray is what we'll call it. MRI stands for, I think, magnetic resonance imaging. And it's so scary. But then they found out that my knee was busted. And so they did surgery on it. Orthoscopic. Where they put tiny, tiny, tiny little things in my knee and tried

    Unknown: to fix it. Nothing happened. It didn't work.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, it did not. And then I went to physical therapy and I was on crutches for the whole season. And so I'd get to go to pep rallies. Do you know what a pep rally is? No. So a pep rally is like when all the students gather around in one room and they cheer on the team. Where they're like, Go Golden Lions! And I was out in the middle of the floor like, Yeah, I'm a Golden Lion. Look at me. And then the last game of the season, the coach asked me, he wanted me to dress up in uniform. Dress out. Get in uniform. I was like, okay. And I was standing on the sideline. And then with just, I mean, like 20 seconds to go in the game, he goes, Bump a car. Get in there. And I was like, what? Do what? He was like, get in the game. And I was like, oh no, no. What? Because I didn't know what to do. So I went in the huddle. We were on offense. I was a wide receiver. And I was terrified. And I said to the quarterback, I was like, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to stand. I don't know anything. He's like, just go over there. Stand. When I say hut, run. I was like, I can do that. I know how to do that. So he goes, hut, hut, hut. And he gets the ball. And I run. And as a wide receiver, you're the guy who catches the ball. And there's a guy called a defensive back. And he's the one who tries to stop you from catching the ball. And so, I was supposed to run out, bounce off that guy, and then cut to the inside. That was my plan. But when I went, I bounced to bounce off of him. He grabbed me with both hands and picked me up off the ground, because he was a really big guy. And then he said, get off me. And he threw me down. And then the time of the clock ran off. And the referee whistle went, like that. And the game was over. That was my football experience. Who lost? Oh, we lost by a lot.

    Unknown: No, they cheated.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, they didn't cheat. They just were better than us.

    Unknown: Why did they say, get off me?

    Natty Bumpercar: Uh, I don't know. I think he didn't like that I bounced off of him. But that's what I thought I was supposed to do. That's what I did.

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  • Bumperpodcast #371 – Zippy the bug gets cold feet

    Bumperpodcast #371 – Zippy the bug gets cold feet

    Today, we get a visit from a sick little bug. I love it when we have guests – but, now I’m off to clean my equipment!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this charming episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar discovers a sick bug in his home and decides to help rather than squish it. He has a delightful conversation with Zippy the Bug, a young bed bug who stayed home from bug school due to illness from staying up too late at bug parties. Zippy reveals he can't fly but can climb walls, and has mysteriously forgotten his siblings' names after just two days. After safely releasing Zippy outside, Natty reflects on the season of sickness, shares a story about his son sleeping on the bathroom floor, and teaches listeners about the phrase "cold feet" (or "kolde fader" in Danish). The episode wraps with Natty's ongoing saga of Popcorn the dog eating everything and an expensive vet visit.

    Memorable Quotes

    “We're really friends and so you hurt my feelings? That doesn't make any sense. We're really good friends because I made you feel bad.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Why didn't you subscribe to the Bumper Podcast and leave a nice review and five stars? Kolde fader.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I went to the vet and I said, Dear vet, I think that maybe this dog is in fact not a dog but a goat.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #bugs #friendship #compassion #idioms #parenting #pets #health

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Zippy the Bug (Guest)

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: um what's um hi uh everybody there's a little bug next to me and i don't i don't know if i should squish it or if i should take it outside what do you what do you think little bug you don't know um well what would you rather would you rather be squished or would you rather go outside and live a life on a bush or a tree outside you'd rather go outside what now why is that are you afraid to be squished yes oh well that makes me kind of sad okay well then little bug i'm gonna pick you up uh with this napkin because i don't really want to touch you and i'm gonna just gently take you all the way outside okay now what are you gonna do when you're outside you don't know are you gonna go find your friends maybe yeah what do bugs do with their

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): friends i don't really know do you go to like bug parties i don't know i don't guess i don't think

    Natty Bumpercar: so do you play bug games yeah i guess wait why are you you seem like a young bug why are you at home today and not at bug school because i'm sick you're sick that's so sad how did you get sick

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): i think from like staying up really late

    Natty Bumpercar: oh so you were out at a big bug party last night doing bug dances and doing bug prances and doing all the things that all the bugs want to do is that what you're doing yeah i guess oh well i'm sorry you don't feel good did you take some medicine yeah that's good what what is bug medicine like what does it taste like i don't really know kind of yucky yeah i guess are you gonna have to go to the bug doctor no the bug is the bug ambulance gonna come pick you up and take you to the bug hospital no whew thank goodness because i don't think we have bug insurance um so tell me a little bit about your bug life do you how is bug school

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): it's good it's good what do you study in bug school

    Natty Bumpercar: i don't really know you don't remember yeah oh okay i understand how is your bug teacher she's she's fine well that's nice do you have any bug friends that fly yeah i guess and do you can you fly no do you just kind of can you hop or do you just kind of scurry around i just kind of like scurry around um do you stick to walls or anything or like are your feet sticky can you like climb things yeah whoa that's good you don't bite do you no oh thank goodness oh i didn't even i don't know why i didn't ask that first i don't want to get bit by a bug wait a minute you don't ever go into a bed do you yeah i go in my bed so wait if you're in your bed are you a bed bug yeah no i don't like bed bugs they're the worst oh you're not the worst though are you yeah i'm not the worst you seem like a pretty cool bug to me mm-hmm yeah well thank goodness well listen bug uh i'm just gonna pick you up with this napkin okay so be careful don't don't move around too fast i don't want to hurt you okay all right ready one two all right i scooped you up and we're gonna walk you out side and okay bug we'll see you later okay okay bye feel better all right

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): okay

    Natty Bumpercar: take your bug medicine and listen to your bug parents right yeah wait real quick before you go do you have any bug brothers or sisters yeah all right what what do you have uh like a brother and sister oh really oh that's nice what are their names

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): um well i really remember because like they were i was like super for like two days and

    Natty Bumpercar: Two whole days? Yeah. Oh, no. And you forgot your brother and sister's name already?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no. What is your name? I just realized I didn't even ask you that. Zippy. Oh, Zippy the bug. That's a great name for a bug. Oh, okay. Well, if I let you out here, do you think you can find your family? Yeah. Okay. Because I don't want you to get lost or anything. Hey, listen. If you ever need anything, you can come back and just ring the doorbell and I'll come and answer, okay?

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): Okay. Alright.

    Natty Bumpercar: Alright. We'll see you later, Zippy the bug. Feel better. Okay. Bye.

    Zippy the Bug (Guest): Bye.

    Natty Bumpercar: Holy cow, Bumper Podcast. I didn't expect that at all. We had a fun guest stop by. Zippy the bug. Love Zippy the bug. I'm sorry that Zippy doesn't feel well. It was also, I was very sad that Zippy doesn't remember the name of his brother and sister. It was very, that worries me. I hope he's alright. I think after I finish recording this podcast that I'm gonna go and check on Zippy and make sure that he's okay. When I was holding onto him, I could tell he has a little temperature and I don't have a bug thermometer or anything, but I could just kind of tell by the way he was, he seemed like he was moving kind of slow, a little bit groggy, and he just evened through the napkin. A little bit warm. A little bit warm. It's that kind of season though, right? It's the time of year where a lot of people are getting sick. There's stomach bugs going around. Oh, a stomach bug. Wait a minute. That's not that kind of bug at all. Then there's like little colds, little fevers, and all this poor, poor people getting feeling, feeling rough by my, we have Oliver who's the younger, and then Emerson who's the older, and last week Emerson had a bit of a stomach problem, and he had to come home from school and there was one night where he didn't feel good, and I ended up, we both ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor because it was cool, and he said that made him feel better, and because he wanted to be in there, just in case things happened. I don't need to talk about what things happened, but just in case things happened, and we'll leave it at that. But luckily, knock on wood, he feels better, and his brother Oliver, he's done very fine, but now we got this Zippy the Bug feeling sick, so it's going around. Take care of yourself. Wash your hands. Wash your hands several times a day, and try not to touch your eyes or your nose. Keep your little fingers away from your face because that's how the germs will get in, and I don't want you to get sick. Okay? I want you to feel good because when you feel good, I feel awesome. I don't really know that. I'm assuming that. Yeah, I'm going to say that. If you feel good, then I feel good. Right? That's a good way to be. It's like if you see your friends doing well, if they're succeeding at something, if, you know, maybe if there's a school play and they get on the play, yeah, you gotta build them up because that's what friends do. You build each other up. You make each other feel good about things. I have some friends of mine and they don't always do that. It's more of a you knock your friends down a little bit and it's like, hey, man, that means we're really friends. And I'm like, wait, that doesn't make any sense. We're really friends and so you hurt my feelings? That doesn't seem to make any sense at all. No, no, no, man, we're really good friends because I made you feel bad. That just seems like you're somebody who's who knows a lot about me and then uses that to make me feel rotten. I don't want to feel rotten. I'm not an egg. I don't think eggs want to feel rotten either, though. I don't want to I don't want to pigeonhole eggs into feeling a certain way. You know what, eggs? You do you. You go feel how you want to feel. Anyway, guys, this is the Bumper Podcast. I'm Natty Bumpercar and it's cold outside. I went to take the kids to school today and for some reason I forgot to wear shoes and to go from the front door into the car and then I do a drive-around drop-off and I forgot to wear shoes and I I was so cold. I was like, I wanted to cry. I was like, why wouldn't I wear shoes? I need shoes on my feet. But, you know, mistakes are made. That wasn't how we wanted to start the day, certainly, with cold feet. Have you ever heard the phrase cold feet? It's if, like, it's something that people say where if they're nervous to do something. Like, let's say you wanted to audition for the big school play, right, with your friend, but you didn't do it because you got nervous and so someone could say, oh, hey, why didn't you why didn't you go audition for the big school play? And you could be like, oh, I got cold feet. I don't know where it comes from. I feel like I'm going to research. I'm going to do some research. We're going to learn on the Bumper Podcast. Well, did you guys realize that cold feet, it's kind of like anxiety. It's like you're having second thoughts. It's like you're feeling a little bit timid about something. Like you're almost weak in the knees about something. It's like you have reservations about something. It's, you want to back out of a situation that you're in. These are all various ways of saying you have cold feet. And so I found a definition for it. It's a phrase which refers to a person not going through with an action. You've got cold feet. It's, it's, it's, I don't know. You can have stage fright. That's another way of saying cold feet. And I don't know if I can, if I can find it. Ah, yes. This is my favorite. Here's how you say cold feet in Danish. Kolde fader. So, I think you should start saying that. Bumper Podcast Gatiers, we don't get cold feet. We get kolde fader. Why didn't you go to that big meeting? Kolde fader. Why didn't you subscribe to the Bumper Podcast and leave a nice review and five stars? Kolde fader. That's so fun. I love that we learned something. We learned that bugs do in fact get sick and have to stay home from school and that they can in fact forget their brothers and sisters' names. And we also learned about cold feet. Kolde fader. And, you know, I think we had a nice time. Things I didn't tell you about. Well, Popcorn the dog continues to eat everything in the world. I took her to the vet and I said, Dear vet, I think that maybe this dog is in fact not a dog but a goat. And he looked at her and he looked at me and he said, Sir, that's clearly a dog. And I said, I think it's a goat. And he said, Dog. And I said, Goat. And we did that back and forth for a while. And then he said, Okay. Well then, take your dog and go. And the bill is $300. And I went to the front desk to pay and when they showed me that bill, I went to pull my wallet out and I didn't. Can you guess why? Kolde fader. Alright. Keep your feet warm. Go do what you're supposed to do. Don't get sick. Wash your hands. Looking out for you, Bumper Podcast. Looking out for you. You know why? Because you're the best.

    Unknown: Thank you.

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  • Bumperpodcast #362 – Correlation Coronation

    Bumperpodcast #362 – Correlation Coronation

    Natty sounds like a frog on today’s episode – and talks a lot of whatnot about such things as correlations and coronations. It’s swell. I promise!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 362, Natty Bumpercar wakes up with a raspy voice that makes him sound like a robot or Alexa, confusing his children who won't follow his instructions. Despite his wife's concerns, Natty insists on still attending their expensive water park hotel trip scheduled for the next day. The episode takes a hilarious turn when Natty tries to teach his fibbing son about trust using the boy who cried wolf story, only to have the child fall asleep before learning the moral. Throughout the rambling episode, Natty explores the concept of correlation, battles with daylight saving time fatigue, and demonstrates his signature improvisational comedy style while dealing with his temporary voice transformation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “They didn't recognize my voice. I was like, all right, guys, time to get your shoes on. And they were just like, Alexa, stop telling us to put our shoes on.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Just cause I have a funny voice doesn't mean I can't water park. I can water park with the best of them. Get me on a slide. Get me on the corkscrew.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The wolf ate the sheep. And I was like, cool. I don't know about the sheep. But the boy, yeah, he got eaten. That's the whole point of the story.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #voice #parenting #lying #waterpark #daylightsavingtime #correlation #boywhocriedwolf #illness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so last night something crazy happened and this is this is my voice now and uh i guess i got sick i don't know it's weird i actually feel pretty okay it's just my throat uh is making this sound a lot and um you know if i'm to be completely honest i think that i wish that this was my voice not all the time but sometimes because it's it's crazy like this is watch i can let me see hello how are you doing i am doing fine thank you very much it sounds like a robot i have to like pull my chin in when i do that um so this happened last night and i uh i went i tried to go to bed early but it doesn't ever work out well for me and then this morning the children woke up at 5 15 in the morning which is so early they were up so early that uh even the dog was like hey it's too early to wake up i'm a puppy and i even i understand this is too early uh we just went through i think it's daylight savings time, which we're saving some daylight. All right. You know, but it's confused everyone. It's thrown the whole week off. And now this, this voice. And this morning I was trying to get the children ready to go to school. And I was in the other room and I was just like, all right, guys, time to get your shoes on. And they didn't, they ignored me. They didn't, they didn't recognize my voice. And I was, I was like, all right, guys, time to get your shoes on. And they were just like, Alexa, stop telling us to put our shoes on. And I was like, I'm, I'm not Alexa. I'm, I'm your, I'm your dad. I'm your daddy. So now here's the bananas thing is tomorrow. We, uh, are supposed to go to one of those crazy water park hotels because the kids have a couple of days off of school. And, uh, and so, I mean, I, I just booked it too, like the other day and Ooh, is it spendy? Yes, it is. And it's a water park. And if I have this, my wife was like, well, you're not going. And I was like, but I am going. And I was like, I want to go to the water park too. Just cause I have a funny voice. Doesn't mean I can't water park. I can water park with the best of them. Get me on a slide. Get me on the corkscrew. I'll check out a lazy river too. You know, where's the hot tub. So I don't know how it's going to work out though. If I'm to be completely honest. I got in trouble too, because I was told I had four, uh, four shows last week in a row for four nights of shows. And, uh, this was the last week. And, and my wife was like, well, obviously it's cause you were out for four nights last week. And I was like, that was last week. Why am, why am I, I'm not sick now because of last week, last week was a whole week ago. I mean, it's really, it was only a few weeks ago. I mean, it's, it's, it's only a few days ago for him to be completely honest, but, uh, I don't see any correlation bumper podcast. Cateers. Do you know what correlation means? It means kind of, of an overlap of, uh, facts of, of data points or data points. So, oh, you can be like, oh, look, this data point lines up with that. Oh, and it seems like there's a correlation. Oh, what do you say? Uh, the car was rolling down the hill and the break, uh, was on, but I think the break isn't working. I don't know if that's a correlation. I'm having a difficult time just describing, explaining what a correlation I know what a coronation is. Now a coronation is, uh, when someone like a king or a queen is given their throne and their crown, they're coronated. Uh, but that's not what we were talking about. Obviously we were talking about a correlation and I have in the last 10 seconds looked up what a correlation is and it is a mutual relationship. It's a relationship or connection between two or more things. Uh-huh. So I was correct. Recher, recher, research. I was trying to say research. Research showed a clear correlation between recession levels. Oh, that's not a nice correlation. We don't have to talk about that. I should have read that before. How about this? Research shows a direct correlation between recession levels. Oh, that's not a nice correlation. We don't have to talk about that. Okay. We have a situation between having a sweet tooth and eating a lot of candy. Is a sweet tooth really a thing? Hey! I've been diagnosed. What do you have? Ha! I got the sweet tooth. Really? Who diagnoses you with that? Is that the doctor or the dentist? Oh, no. The person who diagnosed this was, uh, Fitzgibbon, the cert euenderist at AAM. He owns the Fitzgibbon's candy shop on the corner. He said I have the sweet tooth. Can you get out of school for that? No, no. No, you can't. Now, I apologize that this episode is bouncing around, but you know what? That's what's going to happen on a day like today. It'd be great if I could have utilized the voice, and we would have been like, Oh, wow. He's really thought this through. He's got this wackadoo voice, and he's utilizing it. But no, this is just kind of a catch-as-catch-can episode. The other night, one of my children was, well, he told a fib. He told a bit of a lie. And I said, and there was a lot of stuff on his floor. That was why I said, hey, how did all this stuff get on your floor? I don't know. Well, it's your stuff. How did it get on the floor? I'm cleaning it up for you, but who, how did it get here? I don't know. Not my stuff. And I was like, oh, but I mean, it's clearly your stuff. This is definitely your stuff that I'm picking up. Nope. Must have been somebody else in the house. He started throwing people under the bus. And I was just like, nope, that person wouldn't have done it. Nope, that person didn't do it either. I was just like, buddy, you're not in any kind of trouble at all. Why are you? Why are you feeling the need to lie? Why are you feeling the need to fib about this? I'm not lying. Why would I? I'm not lying. I don't lie. And I was like, all right, relax, settle down. But you are. You're definitely making up a little. You did this, but I, and, you know, I just was asking why. There's no knees in, no knees in. A knees in is a reason for your knees in the season. I said, there's no reason to make anything up. And he's just started getting furious. He's like. Why does everybody always say I lie every time I say something, they say I'm lying. And I was just like, well, that's because you actually do lie quite a bit, quite a lot, quite a lot of lies. And he got really mad and, uh, he's like, no one ever believes anything I say. And I was just like, again, you tend to lie a lot. And, uh, I was like, you're kind of, he's like the boy who cried wolf. And I was like. You know, he lied a lot and then people stopped believing him. That's what happens. If you lie a lot, people can't trust you. People can't, you know, they're not gonna, they're not gonna listen to what you have to say. You're going to cry wolf and cry wolf and cry wolf and, and fool people and to a point. And then they're going to just say, no, I'm done. Not, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not going to believe you. I'm not going to put my trust in you. And he goes well. Uh, you know, whatever the wolf, the wolf didn't even, you know, eat the kid at the end. I was like, wait, what? But he did. And he's like, no, the kid was fine. And I was like, no, the wolf ate the kid. The kid was the kid in the story of the boy who cried wolf. He, he got eaten. He got eaten by the wolf. It's the whole point of the thing. He goes, no, no, no. The wolf ate the sheep. And I was like, cool. I don't know about the sheep. I'm sure the wolf probably ate them too. But the boy, yeah, he got eaten. That's the whole point of the story. He cried wolf. The town's people ran over. No wolf. Laughing kid. He cried wolf again. Town ran up. No wolf. Laughing kid. He cried wolf again. Town did not run up. You know who laughed that time? Not the kid. The wolf did. Because he knew he was about to have some dinner. He was about to have some lion kid stew. So what I did was I pulled the story up and, uh, thanks internet. And I started, I just read it to him immediately. And, um, we got to, so the kid was annoyed that he was going to have to watch the sheep. He wanted a better, more fun job. And he, uh, went. Into the field eventually with the sheep and, uh, and he cried wolf once and I looked over and my child was asleep. So he didn't, he doesn't know. Maybe that's why he thinks the kid was okay. Maybe because he's never made it past the third page of this story. So to him, the moral of the story is go ahead and cry wolf. It's the sheep who's going to get eaten. Not you. You're going to be fine, but no, I would say there's a. Direct correlation between, uh, the, my, the moral that my son gets out of a story. And how quickly he falls asleep when he's listening to the story. Look at me. I brought it all back around to correlation. I feel like I'm going to be the correlation King. Maybe they'll even be a coronation. Oh. My voice even sounds a little bit better. Maybe I'm feeling better. Maybe that's what happens when you get crowned the King of correlations. Ah, there's a correlation between talking a lot and your voice feeling better or no, it's just the medicine kicking in.

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  • Bumperpodcast #285 – Viral

    Bumperpodcast #285 – Viral

    There is a sickness in the land. A sickness that leads to tangents and rambling! I hope you don’t catch it!

    Do you get sick?

    Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. 

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    About This Episode

    In this solo episode, Natty Bumpercar shares his misadventures with viral laryngitis while recording from Bumperpodcast headquarters. With a severely sore throat and raspy voice, Natty rambles through stories about his doctor's visit, taking his kids' homeopathic medicine (complete with melatonin-induced dreams featuring Taylor Swift), and surviving on a diet of apple juice and yogurt. He recounts a recent dinner with a friend at an overwhelming barbecue restaurant and laments having to cancel his Super Bowl party plans. Despite feeling under the weather and admittedly not firing on all cylinders, Natty delivers his characteristic stream-of-consciousness comedy while apologizing for the absence of his usual puppet co-stars like Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, and Coleman Sparkles.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I sound a little bit rough. It's like if I was just like hey man we're gonna go rob that bank over there, yeah you want to go rob that bank with us? That's how I talk now.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The nurse was like oh I'm so sad that you can't talk because you always say the strangest things, you always make me laugh. And I was in my head just like I say strange things?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Here's fifteen dollars go to the arcade, go to the penny arcade, go get some penny candy. Go out of the town where are you kids?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #doctorvisit #friendship #food #superbowl #dreams #rambling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so as it happens sometimes uh around here at headquarters i've gotten sick again and this is fine i actually i feel pretty okay if i'm gonna be honest it's my uh my throat hurts really bad uh it's swollen um i tried taking some i had tea with lemon i had uh tea with lemon and honey just lemon and honey um and then i went to i went to the doctor yesterday and uh they said that i have something called viral laryngitis which is like what what's that and actually yesterday i said all right right now i sound a little bit uh rough it's like if i was just like hey man we're gonna go rob that bank over there yeah you want to go rob that bank with us because we're gonna go rob it all right that's how i talk now but that i but it actually does it hurts to talk um which is fun i actually had uh a meeting oh yes i went to the doctor and uh hold on and when i when you go to the doctor for the sore throat um you know what's gonna happen is they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna swab they're gonna swab the deck and and the doctor the first the nurse came in and she was just like uh she's very nice and she was she was like oh i'm so sad that you can't talk because you always say the strangest things you always make me laugh and i was in my head i was just like i say strange things and then i was like oh i make her laugh that makes me happy that's all i want to do in the world is make her laugh um oh boy this hurts uh so then uh she weighed me and here's an i think i've complained about this before although the voice is back a little bit okay uh they um this is higher now that's weird uh she went to weigh me and she got me on the scale and it used to be at the doctor's office you would have like uh your underwear like your boxers and your t-shirt or something on right uh but i had like two shirts on my pants and my pants my pockets are full of have i carry rocks around i don't know why uh no but so you know she weighs me and she was like oh you must have had a good lunch and i was thinking i was like i didn't even have lunch it hurts to it hurts to swallow it hurts to breathe that hurts to swallow i can't put food in there um uh but you know if you take off the weight of the clothes when did the weight of the clothes become part of your weight is my complaint there i guess uh so i um but then i i had i had had dinner with a friend the night before i am rambling today man i'm gonna blame it on i started taking the uh i didn't have any cold medicine or anything that seemed appropriate for uh for a sore throat i'm gonna blame it on i didn't have any cold medicine for this whatever it is um laryngitis c thing um so the kids have this uh it's called zarby's maybe i think it's called zarby's zarby's and it's all like homeopathic stuff and it's like uh there's well there's honey which isn't really homeopathic i guess but i wanted honey on my throat and then there's also uh the stuff melatonin makes you sleep and then there's i guess there's other stuff too it makes you feel better so i took some a couple nights ago i had this crazy dream and it was all these people that i know were in it and uh taylor swift was in it and we all lived in this weird little town and uh i don't remember any of the dream but it was it was it was just like it was like a sitcom like it was like you'd pop into a set and be like hey and then there'd be like funny wacky jokes or whatever and then uh i don't remember it was a weird dream but then last night i took it again and uh and then at night they said it got a little bit better and i was like oh my god i'm gonna get to stay hydrated so i drink water and last night i drank uh i had some uh apples apple juice with water in it and um and uh the uh and i think that made it feel better so i'm taking this kid's medicine and i'm drinking apple juice from now on to make me feel better uh i can't really eat because it hurts so i'm drinking smoothies and eating yogurt which is great because this weekend is a super good weekend and i'm going to be drinking apple juice and i'm going to be drinking and my little my little birds are in it and fingers are crossed and i'm gonna in theory if i feel better please make me feel better uh we were gonna have a super bowl party we're gonna have people over but i just can't do it anymore i can't i don't have i don't have it in me uh so we're just gonna have us as a super bowl party which all right you know that makes sense uh because we're gonna get all this food that just the wife and i are gonna eat and the kids are gonna be like that's disgusting and i'm gonna be like oh why are you here go go out here's here's fifteen dollars go go have fun go out of the town where are you kids go go to the go to the arcade go to the penny arcade go get go get some penny candy fifteen dollars uh so i'm it's fine that i'm on this kind of um diet of uh of uh of what is this stuff i'm i'm using diet of uh man yogurt liquids i am and i gotta go to work today people i left work early yesterday and i gotta go in today and i am i am not operating in all i'm not operating in all cylinders i'm not functioning in all set no firing i'm not firing on all cylinders right now um and the doctor she was she was like do you i don't even know that's not even we're talking about this and she swabbed me there all that tangent was just because i was talking about swabbing and i want to talk about the nurse turns out so i don't have strep throat which i knew because with strep throat you can look into a mirror and if you can open your mouth you can look in the back and you'll see like white spots and uh like rabbititis it's like oh i got rabbititis uh but she's like but we're gonna we're gonna send this off the culture we're gonna send this culture off to have it and i was like all right i don't i don't care i don't know but then there's she's like here's so what here's what you do drink a lot of fluid don't uh exert yourself don't exercise and uh and i was just like i like exercise and uh and good luck basically that was it now i was just like this is this was a waste of 30 all right i could have i could have stayed home and slept for the two hours this doctor's appointment took and would have probably made me feel a little bit better um yeah so that's where i'm at right now i did i got to have dinner with a friend of mine earlier this week who who had moved from new york to minneapolis minnesota and uh he's he's great and i miss him i it's weird thing when you get older you don't have as many friends you know and you're like oh telephone you can stay in touch on facebook that's garbage you know you need to be able to sit across the table from somebody and really to be able to really complain uh it's it's it's essential to be it do it in person uh otherwise you know when they hang up the phone they're just like oh that guy so this is like physically you have to be like oh that guy it was so fun though he went to a barbecue place in the city and uh and uh and uh you had to go in you get it it's called you get a meal ticket and there's all these rules gotta get a meal ticket can't come in without a meal ticket don't leave without a meal ticket don't leave without a meal ticket don't leave without a meal ticket your meal ticket meal ticket meal ticket he's like oh my goodness so uh you get in line and there's just so much food and it's overwhelming and the guy behind the counter he was great he was a great salesman he was just like all right here's what you guys want you guys both want this you look like hungry gentlemen you know what you're gonna want you're gonna want this special it comes with two meats it goes with two sides you're also gonna get cornbread with that and i was like that's too much food he was like no man it's not that much food trust me it's gonna be perfect for you so you're gonna and i got turkey turkey at a barbecue place but i gotta tell you man it's delicious i can't eat i can't eat the leftovers because it hurts too bad but man that day it was it was delicious this was a few days ago uh i got turkey and i got uh i got i got uh uh corn casserole who knew it's the best thing ever it was so good choupette white choupette corn green bean casserole too i feel like this is the conversation you're gonna have with me bumper podcast when i put away in an old in an old folks home and you show up on you know the one the day before christmas where you've come into town you're not gonna waste your christmas on me but you're gonna come and visit me because it is the holiday season this is what i feel like this conversation is although i haven't mentioned soup so i'm not gonna waste your christmas on me but uh maybe it's not we're not entirely there but uh if you are still listening to the bumper podcast i appreciate you i love you to to pieces i love doing the bumper podcast my voice actually feels better now than it did before so i appreciate you for that i do feel like i'm gonna pass out uh that's not your fault all right i gotta tell you uh uh and i apologize for the rambling i apologize pig is he's got something he's out he's out he's out like a light he's asleep right now uh rufus t rufus is actually in the south he said he is too cold for him here uh coleman sparkles is in the mine of course because it's his day to to go down to the mine uh pirate i don't know if the pirate has a name i just called the pirate uh anyway you guys are top-notch i am so glad i don't have any shows that was a worrisome thing for me because i can't do shows right now i'm talking now but i gotta be funny clearly i can't be funny

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  • Bumperpodcast #236 – Good spirits

    Bumperpodcast #236 – Good spirits

    Bumpercar is back and filling you in on all of the reasons why he has been gone. He seems to be in good spirits – so – let’s enjoy it while we can!

    Do you have good spirits? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In episode 236, Natty Bumpercar returns after a long absence to share what's been happening in his life. He opens up about the recent passing of his 95-year-old grandmother, a painter who studied at the University of Georgia before moving to New York City—a path Natty himself would later follow. He explains how a series of unfortunate events including a computer breakdown and a bout of bronchitis kept him away from the podcast. Despite dealing with anxiety, illness, and falling behind on life, Natty remains optimistic and excited to reconnect with his listeners. He promises to return to a regular schedule and shares his enthusiasm about new social media strategies.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It has been anaconda snake long it has been snake river long it has been as long as an anaconda and the snake river and the summer breeze long.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “The hip is evidently the key to life it's the cradle it's where everything you know can go wrong.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm pretty happy right now. I'm pretty excited to be back. I missed you so much, Bumper Podcast Coutures.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #lossandgrief #familyhistory #illness #catchingup #personalstruggles #resilience #anxiety

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast it is natty bumper car and it has been so long it has been so far too long incredibly long how long has it been it has been anaconda snake long it has been snake river long it has been as long as an anaconda and the snake river and the summer breeze long it's a lot of snake references really don't know what's going on there um i have missed you so much it has been so long and i'm so sorry i uh a lot of stuff happened let's just get some things off our chest bumper podcast uh my name is natty bumper car this is the weekly bumper podcast you weekly yes i realize that several weeks have been missed i know this let me tell you what happened first one's sad first one is really sad you know i'm not looking i'm not looking for i mean i pity i appreciate uh thoughts and prayers and everything uh so uh my my my grandmother died she passed away she's 95 years old she fell and broke her hip and it's that's what happened to my other grandmother too the hip is evidently the key to life it's the cradle it's where everything you know can go wrong and it was it's very sad it was it was like a month ago uh maybe three weeks and um so it was unexpected uh obviously uh but you know she fell broke her hip went to the hospital got that fixed went to rehab uh that didn't work out and here we are sadness sadness sadness a couple cool things uh about my grandmother um she was a painter i'm a painter she went to the university of georgia i did the same thing and then she moved to new york city after she got her painting degree from the university of georgia she studied under a guy named lamar dodd the uh art school at the university of georgia is named after lamar dodd that's kind of cool i don't know if you've seen that one and i'm not satisfied with that one that' noughts dot dot dot dot dot an 800 including a iphone fifty 50 again and never saw a cop for them that's kind of cool to me that she was like in the in the beginning right and then she moved to new york and that's and here's a weird parallel i ended up going to university of georgia for painting and then moving to new york to paint weird stuff weird crazy stuff um so that happened recovered from that had a had a pack up real quickly fly down to georgia do all that stuff came right back and then my computer broke just died this is the second time this year this sad computer's had a hard time but it's back it's better it's a happy computer again please stay happy computer after the computer now we're in a week and a half in i got bronchitis this is one thing on top of another thing on top of another thing and normally i bounce back pretty quickly from all the things i'm pretty resilient when it comes to things but for some reason this series of unfortunate events was enough to really knock me on my tuchus and we're just now getting back into the swing of things i uh i i don't know i'm really i'm behind in life i'm behind on a lot of things and i don't like that it drives me crazy it means i have nightmares at night because i have uh anxiety it's like oh gosh i gotta do all this thing and this thing and then my brain's like oh don't forget about that thing that thing too and then i'm like ah and then obviously you throw in the job and the kids and everything doing shows here and there and it's brutal and that's the thing i haven't even been able to do shows in the past couple weeks because i've been so silly sick i've been on antibiotics and a steroid and last night i had to have emergency do an abuteral treatment which you take for asthma which i have bronchitis asthma seasonal uh what is it called seasonal allergy onset asthma is what i call it I think the doctor called it or something silly like that. And I got home and I couldn't breathe at all. Like even right now talking. I'm talking a little bit too much. Which, it's awesome. Means I'm probably going to have to take a little thing before I go to work. Yay! It's a great time. But I think you can hear it in my voice. I'm pretty happy right now. I'm pretty excited to be back. I missed you so much, Bumper Podcast Coutures. And I'm thrilled that I'm going to get to chat with you again. And we'll do it again next week. And we're going to get bigger. And we're going to get better. And I figured out a cool thing with Periscope last night. Where I can actually cut my videos up and put them on Vine. And put them on Instagram. And that way even more people won't actually see my videos. It'll be amazing. Hooray!

    Unknown: Hooray!

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