Tag: humor

  • Bumperpodcast 45 – Beach

    Bumperpodcast 45 – Beach

    Drinks are too expensive – but – who cares? Because we are on vacation . . . and by “we” I mostly mean ‘me’ – as everyone else around headquarters seems to be on a constant state of vacation – anyway.

    Listen and learn and love it!

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar announces that the Bumperpodcast is broadcasting from the beach in this vacation-themed episode. The host shares humorous observations about taking a break, comparing doggy daycare costs to vacation expenses, and explaining why he won't be going in the water due to "bumper car eating monsters." With his characteristic fast-talking style, Natty riffs on restaurant bill shock, proper beach attire with maximum SPF, and the challenges of vacationing on a limited allowance. It's a lighthearted, solo episode capturing the excitement and absurdity of a puppet's beach getaway.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm not going in the water because there's monsters in the water. Big, angry, bumper car eating monsters potentially in the water.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm just going to get a cocktail. How much? Oh, my meal just doubled. Oh, perfect. I can't imagine a better thing to do than doubling my bill because I was a little thirsty.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #vacation #beach #restaurants #money #humor #summer

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the Bumper Podcast, where today I'm going to tell you a story. Is everyone gathered around? Is everyone sitting down? You over there, you should sit down. And you over there, put your hand down, it's not time for questions yet. And you over there, it's only going to be a three minute story, so no, you don't have time to go to the bathroom and come back. And you over there, can I have a sip of tea? Can I have a sip of your soda? Here's the thing, right this second, right now, guess where the Bumper Podcast is? Guess, guess, guess, guess, guess, guess, guess, do you know? Do you have any idea at all? You don't? Well, that would make sense. I mean, normally, I guess you could say, oh, you're at headquarters, because you're recording, right? Well, or because you don't sound like you're walking around with socks, and you don't sound like you're driving, and those are the only places where we've ever heard you record a Bumper Podcast, so how else would we know anywhere else where you would be? That's some fast talking. I'm a fast talker. Well, right now, we pulled up the tent stakes, and the Bumper Podcast is at the beach. Yeah, that's right, we're on vacation. At least some of us are. Some of us who feel like they don't want to be part of the show anymore. I'm looking at you, robot. Maybe they're not at the beach, so actually, I'm not looking at robot, but I'm looking where robot normally is. Socks the dog. Socks the dog. Socks the dog. Doggy daycare. That's where he goes when he goes on vacation. Actually, more expensive than our vacation. Huh. Isn't that fun? Double the vacation. It's kind of like when you go to a restaurant, right? And you think you're going to be, like, not spending that much money. Oh, look. I'm just going to get a cocktail. I'm going to get a beverage on top of this food that I'm getting. How much? Oh, my meal just doubled. Oh, perfect. I can't imagine a better thing to do than doubling my bill because I was a little thirsty. I appreciate it. Thank you very much. Is that free tax? I don't really know what that means. The Bumper Podcast, it's so exciting. Right this very second, as you're listening to this, I could be at the beach. I could be walking around on the beach, not going in the water because there's monsters in the water. Big, angry, bumper car eating monsters potentially in the water. They're looking at me as I'm looking at them. And it's like they're playing Red Rover. Red Rover, Red Rover, send that luscious piece of food on over. And you know what I say to them? I say the nay. I will enjoy my time here on the beach under an umbrella, wearing a long-sleeved shirt, probably with a large amount of SPF on me, eating food, not getting drinks because I can't afford it because my allowance got cut off. But who cares? I'm on vacation.

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    Bumperpodcast 44 – Stub

    I split my toe – I stubbed my toe – I mangled and bashed and beat up my toe. Socks just stood by and watched . . . I had to hobble around a bit – and the worst part was the cleaning of the wound.

    Booooooo cleaning – in all of it’s sundry forms.

    About This Episode

    In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares a painful and humorous tale of stubbing his toe during an evening walk with his dog Socks. What starts as a simple mishap quickly escalates when Natty discovers blood everywhere after his big toe takes on the sidewalk in a brutal TKO. He vividly describes the shock of pain, the confusion of his dog, and the awkward four-block journey home hobbling on his left heel. The episode captures Natty's signature storytelling style as he recounts the worst part of all: cleaning the wound at home only to discover he's out of band-aids.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and you can see things that aren't there necessarily.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in the ring.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #injuries #dogs #walking #pain #humor #everydaylife #storytelling

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car or as i like to be called these days natty bumper wait natty bumper stubbed toe natty stubbed toe i stubbed my toe last night yesterday it was a rough day it was a bad day yep i was walking socks it was pitch dark outside and out of nowhere i was wearing flip flops too i should let you know that out of nowhere boom like the whole world went bright like a flash of light mostly in my head but it was just like you know like when you have so much pain where your body doesn't even know how to react and it's just like pain and it's you like you can hear things you can see things you can see things you can see things you can see things that aren't there necessarily and i had to stop i had to pause took a deep breath all right everything's all right stubbed my toe kind of hurts gonna keep walking oh so he kept walking socks you know he didn't know what was going on you know he always gets confused when stuff happens like he just looks back at me like i thought we were on a walk not on a hang out here so i uh so i keep walking maybe i mean i maybe got another 20 feet or so and i was just like well this is this does it hurts it doesn't feel good this doesn't feel right so i took my uh phone my flashlight phone thing and i held it down by my uh by my foot and uh ooh ooh yuck ooh yuck gross there was blood everywhere there i mean there was blood blood everywhere my big toe had been demolished it had i mean if if we were scoring the fight between the sidewalk and my toe the sidewalk definitely won tko technical knockout cannot continue fight because of too much blood in in in the ring so then i'm four blocks from home i have to walk uh what is it right foot left heel right foot left heel right foot left heel came home and then that's the worst part of it all because you gotta clean it out you gotta put some water on it which hurts you gotta put some peroxide on it which hurts you gotta put some neosporin on it which doesn't really hurt kind of makes it feel better and then what you're out of band-aids well you're out of luck

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast #25 – All the roses!

    Bumperpodcast #25 – All the roses!

    It’s the quarter-century mark for the Bumperpodcast!

    And so – we do a little looking around – and a little look back . . . Or at least that is what we were planning on doing. But – since everyone had to go and plan for the party – it was just me . . . and that never really works out . . . Does it?!

    Maybe I’ll just go and clean the shower.

    Boo.

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar celebrates a milestone in this special 25th episode of the Bumperpodcast! Flying solo for this "epiversary" (episode + anniversary), Natty reflects on the show's journey while the rest of the cast is out planning a secret party. In typical Bumperpodcast fashion, the celebration takes an unexpected turn as Natty rambles about party planning, fancy restaurants, and the time the podcast supposedly threw a party at his house that resulted in… clean dishes and a scrubbed shower? The host contemplates throwing a shower-cleaning party and reaches the "quarter century mark" of episodes in his own unique way.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was gonna say birth birth to birth birth to birth birth to birth say birth it's the 25th episode and I was trying to figure out how to say birthday but it didn't make sense and so what I ended up saying was it's the 25th epiversary which is episode and anniversary”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “There were lampshades there was trash cans were full dishes were done it was terrible someone had cleaned the shower what kind of party is that”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Would you guys come to my shower cleaning party? It's gonna be a blast there's gonna be lampshades there's gonna be trash cans full of stuff probably trash”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #milestonecelebration #anniversary #partyplanning #cleaning #soloepisode #humor

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all righty all righty all righty welcome to the bumper podcast and do you know why this is a very exciting very special episode of the bumper podcast not that they aren't all very special episodes of the bumper podcast of course because every wednesday is special and why because of the bumper podcast well today ladies and gentlemen boys and girls gather around but not too close because i have exciting news today is the 25th epiversary of the bumper podcast i was gonna say birth birth to birth birth to birth birth to birth say birth it's the 25th episode and i was trying to figure out how to say birthday but it didn't make sense and so what i ended up saying was it's the 25th epiversary which is episode and anniversary which now that i say that out loud makes sense even less sense than birth the birth the birth the birth the birthday thing because it said podcast and it wasn't born and it's not the anniversary it's the 25th episode of the bumper podcast can you believe it everybody else i'm sitting here by myself because everybody's out doing some party planning because um we had to go to the party store to get party favors and we had to get streamers and we had to get um all we have gag gifts for the bumper podcast because we're going to go to the party store to get party favors and we had to get streamers and we had to go to a fancy restaurant tonight to have some fancy food for the bumper podcast hey bumper podcast what's your favorite restaurant anyway we were gonna have a party but uh we couldn't because well it's a secret why because but it's why because and that's why because so no parties when we go out this weekend i don't want any bumper podcast to come into my house and start having party because i i know bad things will happen last time i went on vacation came home bumper podcast had a year and a half and i was like i'm gonna go to a fancy restaurant tonight huge party there were lampshades there was trash cans were full dishes were done it was terrible someone had cleaned the shower what kind of party is that anyway who invites people over to have a party and then asks them to clean the shower huh wait a minute hey i might need to have a shower cleaning party here pretty soon i don't know would you guys come to my shower cleaning party it's gonna be a blast there's gonna be lampshades there's gonna be trash cans full of stuff probably trash it's gonna be awesome bumper podcast 25 episodes and this is how i celebrate it's very exciting really when you look back on everything we've talked about the uh uh sheep i think there was a sheep robot maybe some stuff happened i mean definitely totally stuff happened i mean we're at the quarter century mark for the bumper podcast that's a quarter of a hundred of century does that make sense we're at a quarter of the bumper podcast right now right now d and for a present i gave him all the roses all of them you should email me bumper podcast at natty bumper car.com we're so thrilled are you i hope so

  • Bumperpodcast #23 – Holiday time!

    Bumperpodcast #23 – Holiday time!

    A co-host for the Holidays?

    Who could it be?!?

    We shall see!

    [Click the title to get to the episode!]

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this holiday episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by an unexpected co-host: little baby Emerson. Together, they thank listeners for tuning in throughout 2009 and hint at their plans to go into hiding over the holidays. The episode takes a comedic turn when Natty accidentally reveals their hiding spot, leading to playful banter between the host and his infant co-host. Despite some lighthearted disagreements, Natty and Emerson make amends and encourage listeners to feel proud of their achievement: listening to Bumperpodcast all year long. The duo signs off with well-wishes for 2010.

    Memorable Quotes

    “he's got a deckled edge if you will”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “we're not supposed to tell them where we're hiding that negates the whole activity”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “go find a mirror look at it point at yourself give yourself a huge smile and say i've done something really good this year i listened to the bumper podcast”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #holidays #newyear #2009 #yearinreview #babies #gratitude #humor

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh really hello bumper podcast what's going on it's me natty bumper car and evidently we have a co-host today but who could it be any guesses anyone oh goo that's right it's little baby emerson and he must be here to wish you a merry happy jolly fun funny silly great wonderful tremendous stupendous holiday yeah oh see he's thrilled that you're here i'm thrilled that you're here i can't believe you keep coming back and listening to this but i love that you do oh yeah well he doesn't love it as much as i do but you know what he's a little bit rough around the edges right now he's got a deckled edge if you will bumper podcast so today what we're doing is we're saying thanks for coming and uh listening to us for 2009 and then after that you ain't you're not gonna see us you might see our backs you might see our dust as we run away and do some serious hiding oh oh i'm emerson peas and carrots what are you doing we're not supposed to tell them where we're hiding that negates the whole activity the whole where they know what we're gonna be hiding so when it's not okay fine hiding anymore laugh at me baby oh it's that funny daddy's losing it because we told him where we're hiding some co-host you are i don't know bumper podcast oh is this the way we want to start 2010 fighting amongst ourselves at the holidays i don't know that it is in fact i would go so far as to say it's not well bumper podcast i'm thrilled to see that you know at least emerson and i could well i was gonna say bury the hatchet but i think you just said it so much better baby emerson it's a bumper podcast how many times can we say it one time bumper podcast bumper podcast bumper podcast that's too many times but i'm thrilled that you have been here for all of those times so what i want you to do is go find a mirror look at it point at yourself give yourself a huge smile and say i've done something really good this year i listened to the bumper podcast we'll see you in 2010

    Unknown: him you you you you you you it