Tag: humor

Bumperpodcast 130 – Foodie

Natty Bumpercar is a bit of a foodie … He decides to make all of you a bit jealous by describing just how delicious his lunch was today …

Why should you care about his lunch? Because there was a surprise that came along with the meal … And everyone loves surprises – don’t they?!

Have you ever had food? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and we’ll all pat our bellies together.

Is that how you spell the plural form of belly?

About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar shares his culinary misadventures with a disappointing microwaveable meal called "Asian Surprise." Natty describes himself as a foodie and walks listeners through the elaborate preparation process of this instant meal, complete with noodles, mysterious vegetables, and brownish goo. Despite his attempts to elevate the dish with chicken stock and peanut butter, the meal turns out to be a massive letdown. Natty hilariously questions why he doesn't just skip the meal entirely and eat spoonfuls of peanut butter instead, ultimately ending his lunch with some jello.

Memorable Quotes

“The surprise was hey you're gonna cook this and you're gonna be really let down you're gonna be severely disappointed.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Why don't I just skip that entire step of putting this thing together why don't I just eat a spoonful of peanut butter for lunch seems like it'd be maybe maybe be better for me.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #food #cooking #microwaveablemeals #disappointment #peanutbutter #humor #instantnoodles

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: well of course bumper podcast you know that i natty bumper car am a bit of a foodie i'm sure that's gotten around town i only eat at the finest restaurants i only go to the finest establishments for instance today i had some food prepared for me down in the kitchens here at headquarters uh it was a wonderful plastic bowl in which you opened it and then there was a plastic bag of noodles and a little tin bag full of what was called vegetables so i'm eating healthy as well and then there was another little plastic baggie full of uh viscous brownish kind of goo uh you know and then you prepare it you uh open the noodles put them in the plastic thing and then you open the vegetable and you spread them around nicely put the goo on put two not one not three but two tablespoons of water i use chicken stock because i like to elevate my meals a little bit uh and then you put on the top pop it in the microwave and 90 seconds later you my friends are going to be very disappointed at what comes out of that microwave i think it was called asian surprise is what i feel like the meal i think that's what it said on the packaging and the surprise was hey you're gonna cook this and you're gonna be really let down you're gonna be severely disappointed that you just spent the last we'll see 90 seconds plus it probably took about 45 seconds about three and a half minutes of your life picking out this asian surprise putting it all together microwaving it waiting the one minute in between microwave ding and uh actually opening the package and uh and i forgot there's one other little thing it's one there's a little tin it says topping and so you put the topping on because that's probably going to make it better it doesn't it was so bad so bad so so so bad and so here's what i do sometimes is uh the chicken stock obviously highfalutin but then sometimes what i'll do is i'll take a spoonful of uh peanut butter and i put it in things because i like how peanut butter tastes and i mean i don't know why i don't just skip that entire step of putting this thing together why don't i just eat a spoonful of peanut butter for lunch seems like it'd be maybe maybe seems like it maybe be better for me if i did that i'm not sure i'll go just have a spoon i could have half a spoon of peanut butter and i'll have a spoon over the jelly and yum-a-rific so then after that uh i ate about uh half not even half uh but then i ate uh something which is near and dear to my heart a little plastic cup of jello

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March 28, 2012
Bumperpodcast 115 – My good side

Tomorrow … Natty Bumpercar is going to go into the hospital to visit a mouse photographer – who will then walk down his throat and take some photos …

This is just a bit of bumpercar burning off some of that pre-hospital nervous energy with a bit of bibble-babble.

Have you ever had a mouse in your throat taking photogrphs? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then – we will bond.

Best pals!

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About This Episode

In this episode, Natty Bumpercar nervously prepares for an upcoming medical procedure. Broadcasting on a Monday instead of the usual schedule, Natty explains he's heading to the hospital the next day for an endoscopy at 5:45 AM. With characteristic humor, he describes the procedure as having a mouse with a camera walk down his throat to take pictures. Despite some anxiety about the early morning appointment and uncertainty about what to expect, Natty maintains his comedic perspective throughout, joking about hospital gowns, Jello, and waking up before the rooster crows.

Memorable Quotes

“From what I understand they're going to give a camera to a mouse and tie a string to his tail and let him just kind of walk down my throat and take some pictures.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I have to be there in my own physical form at 5:45 in the morning. That's stunningly early. The cockadoodle do crows at like 6:15.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Mouse in throat with camera, oh okay, deep breaths everybody, deep breaths because I'm gonna need them.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #medicalprocedure #hospital #endoscopy #health #anxiety #humor #earlymorning

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hey bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and why am i talking to you today it's a monday i know that you know that because why because it's monday but i'm i'm here's why i'm talking to you tomorrow there's there's a there's nervous excitement it's not excitement is there's nervous energy in the uh in headquarters today uh because tomorrow uh yours truly natty bumper car is going to go dun dun dun into the hospital why well it's not too exciting probably it's um i'm going in to uh to have a uh i think i believe the way they're going to do this there's going to be a camera shoved down my throat uh so i from what i understand they're going to give a camera to a mouse and tie a string to his tail and let him just kind of you know just walk down my throat and take some pictures and uh then come back up and i assume that he will go to the mouse dark room where he will uh uh develop the pictures and then uh you know we'll have a maybe we'll put together a picture book i don't know what happens uh it's called an endoscopy which i've had a hard time not referring to as an endoscopy because just the way you look at the word it looks a lot more like oh am i excited about it no no i'm not am i nervous about it's weird i have i have a weird uh not really trepidatious just kind of just like oh i have to go to the hospital and get this i have to be there in my own physical form at 5 45 in the morning that's stunningly early that's that's so like from what i understand the cockadoodle do he crows at like 6 15 so i'm going to be up and at some place before the rooster even like is like unless i poke him before i leave and i'm like hey wake everybody else up because if i'm up i think i would like everyone else up as well just because i don't want to get lonely there's a little cough for you so i'm assuming that uh i'm going to give you some sort of an update on this uh later in the week maybe tomorrow i don't know if i'll be able to talk i don't know i don't know what's going on so i'm assuming that i'm going to give you some sort of an update on this uh later in the week going to happen that's the crazy thing when you stick a mouse down your throat with a camera i don't know what the results are will i be eating jello i mean is that too bad i don't know will i have to wear like a hospital garb where people look at my tush and be like hey bumpica that's quite a tush you got there i don't you know i don't hope that those things happen but maybe that'll add a little bit of levity to the situation and not that it needs it it's not a dire situation mouse in throat with camera oh okay deep breaths everybody deep breaths because i'm gonna need them keep your fingers crossed endoscopy

December 19, 2011
Bumperpodcast 111 – Do you eat?

Does anyone eat a meal while lisening to the Bumperpodcast? How quick of an eater are you – anyways? I want to make sure that we don’t promote upset tummys … Because – I am anti-upset-tummy.

Yes I am.

Also – where in the world is Turkey hiding?! You’ll only know if you sit down, pull up a plate and listen to the Bumperpodcast!

Nom, nom, nom!

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About This Episode

In Bumperpodcast episode 111, host Natty Bumpercar celebrates cooking day at headquarters after shelling carrots, shucking eggs, and making fresh butter. Natty shares his philosophy about sweet potatoes maintaining his sweetness level and offers listeners a unique challenge: try eating an entire restaurant meal during the podcast's short runtime. He addresses listener mail asking about Turkey's whereabouts after last week's appearance, though the mysterious character seems to be hiding. This episode features Natty's signature rambling humor and his struggle to pronounce "restaurant," settling on "red turon" instead.

Memorable Quotes

“People come up to me and they say hey bumper car you don't seem sweet enough to me and I say well well well that's why I eat a sweet potato every single day.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“If you go to a red turon and you order your meal… when that plate hits the table then is when you're gonna press play and then just have at it.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I appreciate that I've never been called a shenanigan meister… it's shenanigan dash meister.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #cooking #food #sweetpotatoes #restaurants #listenermail #turkey #humor

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hello bumper podcast it's me natty bumper car and i am having a tremendous day why because i just shelled 10 pounds of carrots and i shucked 10 eggs and i milked four cows and made butter and because i'm cooking it's cooking day here at the bumper podcast here at headquarters and uh everyone is getting involved we've got the brine ready we've got the sweet potatoes ready because hey we're not sweet enough around here you know what i'm saying people come up to me and they say hey bumper car you don't seem sweet enough to me and i say well well well that's why i eat a sweet potato every single day it's to maintain this certain level of uh zuccar that i have that's sugar sugar is sweet just like me just like sweet potatoes what are you eating right now are you eating anything i don't even know do people eat when they listen to the bumper podcast it would be a very quick meal like if you went to a red restaurant a red a red turon is what i was trying to say there but my i stopped if you go to a red turon uh and you order your meal and you're listening to the bumper podcast probably by the time the meal comes out you're gonna be way done you're gonna be finished listening and then you're gonna be sitting there so what i'm recommending is if you go to a restaurant order your meal right and when you see the waiter waitress coming over carrying your food as soon as that plate hits the table then is when you're gonna press play and then just have at it see how far you get you've got three minutes and sometimes eight seconds or something like that i mean that seems like plenty of time to eat to me to enjoy a meal you know what hold on if your meal involves cutting if it's like a steak or anything like that or even a big potato like go ahead and prepare it you know if you if you need to put ketchup on the plate do that beforehand uh i'm saying any prep work you do do that otherwise you're not going to be able to enjoy the bumper podcast and i want you to enjoy it it's so important to me it's it's what i live for so last week i got all these uh these letters hold on yeah there's uh there's one a bumper car what is going on with turkey we heard him last week we know that we know the deal we know what it is we know what you're up to we know your shenanigans you're a shenanigan meister well i appreciate that i've never been called a shenanigan meister uh it's shenanigan dash meister but you know what i don't know what's happening with turkey maybe you should ask him uh where is he i don't see him is he around hmm maybe he's hiding

November 23, 2011
Bumperpodcast 100
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Silence ... Headquarters has gone all kinds of quiet.

And - then something magical happens ... 

Shhhhhhh ...
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About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar celebrates a major milestone as the Bumperpodcast reaches episode 100! In this landmark episode, Natty shares a hilarious story about brushing his dog Irving Brown Sox's teeth after the pup developed a serious case of "yuck mouth." The tale involves a party thrown for Cinnamon the Horse after the classic "why the long face" joke made him sad, only to have Irving's bad breath clear the room. Natty also riffs on needing a new catchphrase and delivers an absurd story about fish playing high school football. It's a characteristically silly and improvisational celebration of 100 episodes of puppet comedy.

Memorable Quotes

“I brushed Irving Brown Sox's teeth today because his mouth, he had a yuck mouth.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Cinnamon, why the long face? And he was like, that joke makes me sad. And we were like, you know what? We don't want you to be sad. We want to have a party for you.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“I don't know why I keep saying boom. Boom. I don't like boom. I need a new word.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #milestone #dogs #pets #parties #humor #dentalhygiene #celebrations

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Irving Brown Sox

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, it's like a party whistle. You know why it's like a party whistle? Hold on, I got another party whistle. What happened? What happened? Was there like 20 seconds of silence? Because you know why? Because last week, it was the end. It was the end of the Bumper Podcast. It was the end of the Bumper Podcast in the pre-three-digit era, that is. Boom! Welcome to number 100. This is the 100th Bumper Podcast. I'm Natty Bumper. I'm Natty Bumper Car. This is number 100. This is the Bumper Podcast. You know all about me because I told you all about me a couple of episodes. You know what else about me? I brushed my dog's teeth today. That's right. I brushed Irving Brown Sox's teeth today because his mouth, he had a yuck mouth. Do you remember yuck mouths? They were just like, I got a yuck mouth.

Irving Brown Sox: I got a yuck mouth. I got a yucky, yucky, yucky, yucky yuck mouth. Look at me now, yuck mouth. Look at me now, yuck mouth.

Natty Bumpercar: And I went in there with a toothbrush and I was like, scrub, scrub, scrub. Circles, circles, circles, circles, horizontal, horizontal, horizontal, vertical, vertical, vertical, circles, circles, circles, because literally, he walked into the room where the party was happening and because sometimes we like to have parties around headquarters. All right? Why? Well, let's just say Cinnamon the Horse came in with a very long face. And we were all like, Cinnamon, why the long face? And he was like, that joke makes me sad. And we were like, you know what? We don't want you to be sad. We want to have a party for you. Boom. That's the only reason we need for a party around here. And then Irving Brown Sox walks into the room and starts breathing because that's what dogs do sometimes. He was all like.

Irving Brown Sox: And then.

Natty Bumpercar: The room cleared out. And then it's me. Boom. I don't know why I keep saying boom. Boom. I don't like boom. I need a new word. Blah, blah, blah. And then. Blah, blah, blah. Nah, that sounds like a fish. That sounds like an exclamation a fish would have. Like when a fish high school football game, when the little fish makes the surprise catch in the fish end zone. And like, he goes to spike the ball in front of the stands because everybody's going to love him now. And then out of nowhere, he's all like. Blah blah blah.
September 14, 2011
Bumperpodcast 65 – Woo-Who?! Woo-You!

There are a lot of greetings and hellos for everyone to share – on this episode of the Bumperpodcast!

There is also a little confusion over if I am “in the street” – or – “on the street” – and then I attempt to woo!

Don’t forget to email me your questions, musings and whatnot at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Hooray!

Also – in fun news – we are now on Stitcher.com! So, how much fun is that?!

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About This Episode

In this episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar reflects on the various ways he greets his audience, from "hello" to "hola" to "greetings." He then contemplates the linguistic difference between being "on the street" versus "in the street" before announcing his plans to get a haircut for an upcoming photo shoot. Natty explores the meaning of the word "woo," connecting it to seeking favor and winning, much like fans do at sporting events. The episode features Natty's characteristic stream-of-consciousness humor and wordplay, along with Producer's announcement about Bumperpodcast being available on Stitcher.

Memorable Quotes

“am i on the street or am i in the street i really feel like i'm getting confused today”

— Natty Bumpercar

“i want to look good so that i can woo the crowds woo the crowds what does that even mean”

— Natty Bumpercar

“that's another notch in my uh belt of things that i might say to people when i walk up to them on the street”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #greetings #language #haircut #photography #wordplay #humor #self-reflection

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: hello whoa whoa whoa bumper podcast was that an intro or is that an intro i kind of didn't know what i was gonna say like i started out i was just gonna be like hello which is what i normally say hello but sometimes i'm like hi bumper podcast or i'm like hey bumper podcast every so often i get a little bit like you know i'm just like hola how's it going over there um and i once and this is only one time that this happened but i also i i said um i don't i mean i don't even hello hi hey hola i don't know any other ways to say greetings bumper podcast that's another one that's another one that's another one that's another notch in my uh belt of things that i might say to people when i walk up to them on the street on the street in the street wait a minute if i'm walking up to someone i'm walking on the street so i'm on the street but if i'm in between the uh the the curbs the sidewalks then i guess i'm kind of i'm in the street like i'm in the bounds of the street so am i on the street or am i in the street i really feel like i'm getting confused today um hello bumper podcast this is your man on the street on the street we're gonna stick within with on the street because it's the man on the street segment not this isn't not here today because i'm sitting in headquarters talking to you talking to you you know what i'm gonna go do today bumper podcast i know you're very interested because i haven't said anything else that was interesting yet yet is the key word there my friends because something very interesting is gonna happen i'm going to go and get a haircut yes a haircut because you know why i look too scraggly and i need to get some pictures taken some photographs taken so that i can uh know what i look like at that second forever um here's the thing though i you know i want to i want to look good so you know so that i can woo the crowds woo the crowds what does that even mean well i looked it up for you because i want to make sure that i drop some knowledge on you and uh to woo it it means to uh seek favor affection it also means to seek to win well bumper podcast i think we found the definition that we're gonna go with because i want to go and i want to woo that's what they say at games they're like woo you know why i'm gonna go and i want to woo you know why i'm gonna because they're seeking to win

Producer: hey everybody the bumper podcast is now on stitcher you can listen to us on your iphone your android phone your blackberry and pre stitcher is smart radio for your phone go to stitcher.com to download it for free and don't forget to subscribe to our channel so you don't for free today right now go do it hooray

March 2, 2011