Tag: holidays

  • Bumperpodcast #370 – Valentine’s

    Bumperpodcast #370 – Valentine’s

    Pig seems kind of sad about Valentine’s day. So, Natty tries to cheer him up, a bit!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this heartwarming Valentine's Day episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig is feeling down about being the only pig in the house without a valentine. Host Natty Bumpercar helps Pig understand what Valentine's Day is really about, leading to a hilarious debate over whether it's pronounced "valentine" or "valentime." The duo explores the meaning of the holiday, from its origins with St. Valentine to what it means to spread love to everyone around you. Their conversation takes comedic turns through discussions of tree valentines, Danish pastries, and ultimately lands on an important message about self-love. Natty and Pig share laughs while reminding listeners that the most important valentine is yourself.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Look in the mirror, man, because the main person who's going to be your Valentine needs to be you. You wake up, you wake up, you wake up. And you know who's there? You.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Did you say valentine by valentine? Because I'm pretty sure it's valentime. T-I-M-E?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “It sounds like this is not a very exclusive club. Hey, look at that leaf on that tree. That's my valentines. Oh, what's this? A cheese doodle? I guess you're my valentines now, huh?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #valentine'sday #self-love #friendship #holidays #loneliness #comedy #pronunciation

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: I guess I'm kind of sad, is the thing, and I just don't know what to talk to about it. Hey, Pig, what's up? Hey, Bumps, what's going on?

    Natty Bumpercar: I, you just sound really, really sad, and I, why? What's going on, man?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, you know, it's Valentine's Day, and I just don't understand it, and I ain't got no valentine. Yeah. You know, I'm the only pig in the house, and so it's just always kind of a weird day for me, you know?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, it's, yeah, that makes sense, but here's the thing, Pig, is Valentine's Day is cool and everything, because it's a day where you can, like, show your love for other people and get little cards and get little candies and gifts. I love candy. I know you do. It's good. I do, too. Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: But the thing is… You're going to say that I don't get nothing because… No, wait, what? No, I wasn't going to say that. Because nobody loves me? Pig. Is that what you was going to say? Pig. I'm a guy.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, man, stop it. So, no, this is the thing. It doesn't… Valentine's Day is rough because it's, like, one day, and everybody focuses on it, and you're like, oh, I like this person on this day, but you like every… I like you every day. You're my valentine every single day.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Did you say valentine by valentine? Because I'm pretty sure it's valentime. No. Right? No. T-I-M-E?

    Natty Bumpercar: It's not. And I was actually… It's weird because I was trying to say something nice to you, and you're derailing it with this, but valentime, I guess it makes sense because it's, like, time for valentines. Time, yeah. Valentines is what it is.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we're on the same page here. No. It's valentimers. No, I said valentines.

    Natty Bumpercar: An N, not an M, an N. Okay. Yeah, an N. I don't… Can we just… Okay, listen. Go ahead. So, here's the thing. Valentine's Day, according to my research, it was also called St. Valentine's Day, and it was based… Or the Feast of St. Valentine, so it's been around for many, many, many years, and I guess there was a dude named Valentine, and he got named after him. I don't know. It's one of those holidays. This isn't one of the ones, though. So, where they, like, Christmas, which is based on a solstice, or Easter, which is based on a solstice, this is… And a solstice is, like, some moon and sun stuff up there. This is just St. Valentine, dude. But it's basically… It's a day that's been built around just expressing your love for someone. Even me. Your friendship, your love, your gratitude, your… All these things. So, you can say, Happy Valentine's Day, right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. So, who do I say it to? Because I don't understand who I'm supposed to say it to. Well… Is it gonna be awkward or weird? No. Or something? Are people gonna make fun of me?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, Pig. I think people appreciate when you say it to them. I think it's kind of like a nice thing. You can just be like, Hey! Happy Valentine's Day. I think you can just kind of wander around. Today's one of those days where you can just be like, Hey, you!

    Aloysious J. Pig: Happy Valentine's Day.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then, here's the fear, though, because once you've opened that door to conversation, you don't know what's gonna come through that door. So, you could be like, Hey! Happy Valentine's Day! And they could be like, Is it? Is it really? And then, you're like, Oh, no! Now, I'm in this conversation! Oh! But, you know what? That's fine. Let them get it off their chest. Don't let it stick to you, but, you know, just… Happy Valentine's… And then, you move on. Happy Valentine's Day! Is it? See you later! That's what you do. You run away from the situation. Which is a completely legitimate thing to do sometimes.

    Aloysious J. Pig: So, wait. The other day, when you came in the room, and I was kind of quiet, and you was like, Sup, pig? And I said, Well, and then you turned and skadoot? Yeah. Is that what… Did you do that to me? Yeah. You didn't want to hear my props? Mate, I…

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I was gonna say I was getting a phone call, but I was not getting a phone call. I just… I had a… Yes, I'm sorry. That's what I did to you, and I apologize. So, anyway. Back to who's gonna be your valentine. Pig, I could be your valentine. I would love to be your valentine.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Would you like to be my valentine? Is that socially acceptable? Is this a norm? Can we… Is this okay for a pig and a gentleman such as you to be valentines?

    Natty Bumpercar: Can we do that? Absolutely. Of course we can. I mean, that's the thing with Valentine's Day. Popcorn the dog, she's my valentine. My sweet, sweet kids, they're my valentines. All my bumper pod casketeers, you don't know it, but you're my valentines. Because it's just… It's anybody's… Everybody's my valentine. Anybody and everybody. We're all valentines around here.

    Aloysious J. Pig: It sounds like this is not a very, um, exclusive club. Like, it's just… It's any… Hey, look at that, uh, that, that leaf on that tree. That's my valentines. Oh, look at that ball by the curb. That's my valentines. Oh, what's this? A cheese doodle? No. I guess you're my valentines now, huh?

    Natty Bumpercar: So, no, that's not fair, because those are all inanimate objects.

    Aloysious J. Pig: A leaf is clearly animate, sir. It's on a tree, which is a living being. And I believe that you are incorrect.

    Natty Bumpercar: Fine. You're starting to sound a lot like Rufus T. Rufus. I think you're hanging out with a lawyer too much there, pig.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Actually, I've been doing a lot of research on pig law because I think that there's a niche in the market that a lot of pigs are unrepresented. And, uh, so, just branching out as I do.

    Natty Bumpercar: As you do. Well, so, okay, fine. So, no, a ball or a cheese doodle, I guess they could be your valentine if you want. But, uh, I'm not gonna stop you, clearly. The leaf. I mean, a tree would be a great valentine. It's there. You can come and visit it. You can give it a hug. You can tell it nice things. You can tell it secrets. And a tree is gonna hold on to all that. I would love to have a tree as a valentine. But I think, most importantly, so… What? Do you want to be my valentine?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, uh, so, huh. After you kind of said, like, everything in the whole planet is your valentine, it soured it a little bit for me. But I guess, sure. I don't want to, like, let you down, because I don't want to make you sad or nothing. But I got to ask, is it, like, contractually binding? Like, if I'm your valentine, can I then be somebody else's valentine or whatever?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, yeah, of course. You can have many valentines. That's the cool thing. Because you're just spreading the love out. You're just sending it out to the world. Have a great… It's kind of like saying, have a great day. You're like, happy valentine. But in that second… That's how it works. It's a quick transference project. It's happy valentine. Boom, you're my valentine. And then if you turn, happy valentine. Boom, now you're my valentine. It's like this. It's moving around, right? But you leave a little bit of residual valentine with the people. So it's going everywhere. So…

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, this seems kind of strange.

    Natty Bumpercar: Really?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, it does. I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, it's because it's like, all right, fine, cool. This is very noncommittal. Like, I didn't want it to get into, like, being, like, a contract. Like, you're my one and only valentine for the rest of forever. But also, this now feels completely opposite. Like, we went the other direction. Where it's just like, ah, for this half a second, sure, you're my valentine. Okay, now that dog over there, that's my valentine. It's like, you know, I need a little bit in the middle. Kind of in the middle there. If we could figure out a way to take your extreme, take that extreme, put them in the middle, and then I think we'll be set. Fine. That makes sense.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, okay, that makes sense. But, yes, fine. That makes sense. So, I don't know how we want to do that. Are there going to be rules? Like, will we have to, like, limit how many people we valentine? Or is there, like, a time limit where it's just like, you can't happy valentine people, you have to wait, like, 30 seconds or something like that? Or a minute? Or, I don't know, like, what kind of structure we're going to do to meet the middle, as you were saying.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I think that's going to be tough. Maybe we're not going to get it done this year. It seems like kind of a big project. But, I feel, you know, I just think, like, we can work on it. It's another, it's a, we can work on figuring some rules out. Let's just hammer some rules out. And then we memorialize them. We put them in a document. And then we have meetings. Probably some meetings. And maybe rent a room to have a meeting in. There's a lot of meetings

    Natty Bumpercar: happening right now, right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Well, I do, I love having meetings because usually there's Danish meetings.

    Natty Bumpercar: You know how I love a Danish. You do love a Danish. All right, but for now, fine. We'll figure out some sort of structures. Some sort of rules for Valentine's Day. And we can figure out if we have anything in the budget for meetings and Danish. And, but I think for now, for today, I want everybody listening and everybody not listening. Have a happy Valentine's Day. Yeah, you did the wide net there thing again.

    Aloysious J. Pig: And you just did everybody listening. Everybody not listening. Hey, hey, ooh, hi. Everybody in the whole wide world. Like, it's just, let's target focus a little bit.

    Natty Bumpercar: Fine, so to everyone listening, I hope you have the most wonderful Valentine's Day ever. And I hope you feel loved and I hope you feel appreciated. And I hope you feel awesome because listen, every morning when you wake up, if you look around and if you feel sad and you're like, oh, Valentine's Day, this is a rough day. I don't have anybody that loves me. Look in the mirror, man, because the main person who's going to be your Valentine needs to be you. All right, because you wake up, you wake up, you wake up, you wake up, you wake up. And you know who's there? You. You go to bed. You know who's there? You are. So try to be nice to yourself, especially today. It's great to have Valentine, to walk around and say Happy Valentine's Day to people and just to share that love or whatever. But you got to make sure that you give a little bit of that love back. So go to a mirror after you listen to this podcast if you can find one and look at it and just say Happy Valentine's Day and give yourself a big smile because you're the Valentine that's always going to be there for you that knows you're like the tree. You know all your secrets. You know all your wants, all your desires, all your hopes, all your fears. It's all there. And so you got to take care of yourself because otherwise, what do you got? What do you got? You're out there.

    Aloysious J. Pig: You got a Danish, maybe?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, there's no Danish. Oh, okay.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I was hoping for a Danish. Well, you got very, you got very, I don't know what you just got, I don't know what you just got there, but you got very, very, very real, Bumpercar. We went from kind of a silly thing about a pig in Valentine's to, you know, and I agree with you. People aren't nice enough to themselves. And in this world, you know, you got to be nice to yourself because there's a lot of things out there that ain't going to feel good and that ain't going to be nice to you. So on this Valentine's Day, I like what you're doing, Bums. You took it back to another extreme. Instead of loving everybody, just make sure you love yourself, okay? And then when you do that, then other people are going to love you. It's just like a, it's like a thing. I don't know. I ain't got terms for this. I didn't go to no psychology school.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, it's tough. I, it's, it's, it's, yeah. I was trying to bring it back to the tree because we were talking about the tree earlier with the leaf and like, maybe like the seed, like the acorns or like the seeds or, you know, whatever. And, you know, I don't, but I had a hard time with that.

    Aloysious J. Pig: It's like, happy Valentine's. Make like a tree and leaf. That wasn't nice. Hey, like, what's a tree that has acorns? Hey, happy Valentine's Day. You're nuts. Like, that's not nice either. No. Happy Valentine's Day. My, my, my bark is worse. That's for a dog. This is for a dog. My bark is worse than my bite. No, that don't work neither. Happy Valentine's Day. Uh, I, uh, I can't think of one with oak. Oak, you sure you want to be my Valentine? I don't know. It just, it's very silly. I don't, I'm trying to, I don't know any other trees is what I just realized. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm pining for you. Happy Valentine's Day. Magnolia, be my Valentine's? That's not one either. Happy Valentine's Day. Dogwood trees have flowers. No. Happy Valentine's Day. Ash trees.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Have papery bark. No.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's, I think I'll let you go on with that quite long. Enough. Um, happy Valentine's Day. Um. Oh, my love is like deep seeded roots for you. There's, that's one. I, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway. Listen, Bumper Podcast. Thank you so much for listening as always. Happy Valentine's Day. Uh, pig is my current Valentine. But if I see you on the street, I'll certainly say happy Valentine's Day to you. And, uh, have a great day. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Love everyone. Please. We need more of that in the world. Please, please, please. And if you can, try to have some chocolate. Chocolate's good. Chocolate's good. If you can't have chocolate, I don't know, draw yourself a nice picture or have a nice water. Have a nice water. Happy Valentine's Day. Have some water.

    Aloysious J. Pig: That's a terrible slogan.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. That's why I don't do the marketing. Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Water? I, I think you were better off with the tree thing. Ah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: All right.

    Natty Bumpercar: We better leave, huh? Okay. We're back to that. All right. Uh, pig, I hope you feel better and thank you for being my Valentine's. I love you. Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I love you too, man.

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  • Bumperpodcast #364 – Left out

    Bumperpodcast #364 – Left out

    Oh no. Natty left someone out, again. Who is it – and what will the fallout be? Listen to find out!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this Thanksgiving-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces the wrath of Turkey, who's upset about being excluded from his traditional holiday interview. The situation escalates when it's revealed Natty came down with a mysterious case of "the loop de loo" that caused him to forget everything. Meanwhile, Producer the Frog reveals he's been sleeping in the backyard because no one invited him inside, leading to an emotional workplace revelation. Aloysious J. Pig threatens legal action while everyone learns an important grammar lesson about possessive apostrophes. The chaos concludes with Natty promising a holiday party to make amends with everyone.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Have you looked around this place? It's a virtual pigsty. That's why I like to come in here as much as I do.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I was never invited to stay in here and so everybody else seems to go sleep whatever they want and I have to go sleep in the backyard. It's very cold out there in the snow.”

    — Producer

    “It's not turkey soup, it's turkey's soup. The Z is very important because that lets us know it's his soup not soup of him.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #thanksgiving #workplacedynamics #friendship #apologies #holidays #miscommunication #inclusion

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, Producer, Turkey

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well good morning afternoon evening midday brunch lunch dinner night time midnight to you bumper podcast listeners it's me natty bumper car and i

    Aloysious J. Pig: hey natty hey pig what's going on you forgot somebody who ah turkey come here

    Natty Bumpercar: oh no oh no i'm hi turkey how are you

    Doodle Poodle: wow wow he's really heated yeah he's really angry why wow i've never seen such a mad bird i haven't either i want what's the matter turkey why are you so mad i've never seen you get angry before okay oh yeah but but no i'm sorry okay

    Natty Bumpercar: that makes sense okay so everybody if you don't speak turkey geese then you don't know what he's saying but turkeys very upset because every single year that we've been doing the bumper podcast around thanksgiving we have him on and we have big interviews we have a big show and evidently this year he got his whole turkey family together all ready for his big bumper podcast interview and then the call never came yes hi natty it's i betty sir and i'm

    Producer: very sorry but we have put together a schedule and we are determined that we weren't going to be having the turkey on the show this year i have uh some emails from you which say exactly to the point i don't want that bird in my studio he makes everything very feathery

    Aloysious J. Pig: turkey um listen i gotta i might have to take this bird out of studio because you he's getting really angry and i don't blame him did you really say that natty did you really get upset at the turkey because of the feathers in your studio have you looked around this place no it's a virtual pigsty that's why i like to come in here as much as i do okay um it's funny

    Natty Bumpercar: um wow uh yee um so turkey i'm really sorry we went through a weird thing this year where i came down with a bad case of some weird thing i don't even remember what it was called was it like banu was that banu no bro

    Aloysious J. Pig: you're always totes banu we all know that you equal totes banu however yes i believe if i'm

    Producer: looking back through my notes that you buy you came down with a case of the loop de loo and you said the loop de loo and you forgot everything and who you were and everything and whatnot so without being sir

    Turkey: yeah i did really

    Natty Bumpercar: oh thank you so much turkey it was it was loop de loo and guys turkey has offered to bring me he says it's a magic cure for the loop de loo

    Aloysious J. Pig: some of his turkey soup whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wait a minute you ain't gonna eat no turkey soup turkey's my friend you ain't allowed to eat my friend's bumper car uh now excuse me point of representation point of fact point of uh uh attention uh uh rufus t rufus have heard the term loop de loo uh dis distributed and disinfactuated here in the studio today and i was wondering who exactly was making that referential preferential

    Turkey: yeah hey so thank you uh so thank you for clearing that up

    Natty Bumpercar: uh turkey so rufus for you uh we were talking about a long time ago with the loop de loo so you don't have to be here you don't have to jump in everything is fine uh pig it's not turkey it's not soup made of turkey which no because he's sitting here and ew right no uh it is soup that turkey has made it's like a special family recipe uh that i will try to be having and i will try to to be enjoying as soon as he brings it and i'm sure it will be delicious and delectable there's no soup like turkeys soup see the z is very important there because that lets us know that it's his soup not soup of him it's not turkey soup it's turkeys soup turkeys right yeah turkeys

    Aloysious J. Pig: so if i say uh on the end of something then that means it's mine so let's see here i'm gonna look around the room ah hey if i gotta go to the store i'm gonna take the keys to your cars does that was that work does that make is that what we're doing now i don't understand hey who's chocolaties uh bars uh is this like that i don't know i this is very confusing to me i don't do a lot of gram not a grandma pig if you understand no i i i myself did go to many schools and many times and many variations that's how you achieve the level of latitude that i have now uh let's see here i believe what you're on the path of correctness and the path of righteousness aloysius so without being said t rufus will like the uh the to take all the monies uh out of the the bankers and put it into my wallet like is that what i think is as proper as well i will be taking the dee desires to this houses like that i don't think that's how it works

    Turkey: oh

    Natty Bumpercar: so awesome i'm glad you guys are all having fun and this is all wonderful

    Producer: i am not i don't usually get to participate in these types of things but i feel like it's fun and hard to get involved as well i'm usually just in my producer booth so i'm going to try one for me i would like you to sleep inside the house tonight like that oh ease yeah like that i would like to have to eat take a shower easy and not sleep in the backyard is uh please uh if it pleases you it's very cold out there in the snow it's not again i don't know even know if you knew this snarving everywhere okay i'm a frog but i'd like to sleep inside okay they wanted

    Natty Bumpercar: to get that out there so they're all clearing things off of our chests did you said producer this is i'm glad we're bringing this up because i had no idea you were why do you sleep outside we

    Producer: have so many rooms here well i was never invited to stay in here and so everybody else seems to go sleep whatever they want and eat whatever they want to do in an hour or more i have to go have myilsty okay but I want, and that's just not who I am, okay?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Nanny, it's just not who he is, okay? You ain't gotta frog-secute the guy just because he's got a good spirit and a good heart, okay? Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, uh, Pig, thank you. You got very emotional for that. That was very sweet of you. Uh, but Frog… My name is Producer. I'm Producer. Yes, Producer. I'm sorry. Thank you. I… Every night when you leave, when you like, wrap up and you're heading home, or what I thought was, like, you say goodbye, and you're like, alright, see everybody later, and you get your stuff and you go out the front door. And so we all thought that you had a house, or maybe you even had a family. We don't know anything about you, so…

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, this, no, it seems like it is moving into my purview. Uh, Mr. Producer, would you say that, uh, the Nanny Bumpercon is a affiliate affiliates have, uh, been disregarding you in any way? Because ipso facto, if they have, then that becomes a legal issue that I believe I could represent you properly for. And you know what? At some point, this house is uh, might become your house is uh, my friend, is uh,

    Natty Bumpercar: Thank you, Turkey. Yes. So, exactly. So what Turkey just said is the truth and the, and, yes. We just thought that Producer was going somewhere else. Should we have known? Maybe, but he was going out the front door. We never, why would we think he was going to the backyard? That doesn't make any sense. And, you know, I don't know a lot about him, and I feel bad about that, but that's just, uh, you know, we just haven't had, like, personal conversations. He's very professional. He goes into his booth, he does his job, and he's wonderful at it, for the most part, and he, he, that's, that's it, you know? I think we should make time, we're in the holiday season, so maybe we should get together with everyone and have a nice holiday party, and, and we can all get to know each other a little bit better. Wouldn't that be nice? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, of course you're going to be invited, Turkey. I think after this whole debacle that we've, yes, don't worry about it. You're going to be here. What I got to say, Turkey, you're kind of feathering up the joint a little bit. There's a lot of feathers everywhere, okay? So just, if you're going to molt, don't molt here, okay? Uh, I will be awaiting my invitation for this soiree, and, uh, please do run it by my calendar. To make sure I am

    Producer: available. I would like to be there, too, if you could please. I would really appreciate just being included, you know, this one time.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, okay, everyone's going to be included, and I'm sorry if anyone felt like they were left out, and you're all awesome. All of you.

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  • Bumperpodcast #361 – Lil’ Monsta

    Bumperpodcast #361 – Lil’ Monsta

    Today, we have a very special guest to bring in the season on the right foot. It’s Lil’ Monsta – and, Natty has absolutely no idea how to handle him. Listen to the fun, and – you’ll see!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this special Halloween episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is surprised by the annual visit of Lil Monster, a recurring guest who only speaks in monster language. Aloysius J. Pig explains that Lil Monster appears every year for their Halloween episode, much to Natty's confusion. Rufus T. Rufus makes his typical disruptive entrance with legal concerns, while Producer briefly pops in hoping for beverages. Despite the language barrier and chaos, the gang manages to interview Lil Monster about his busy year. Natty shares his excitement about suburban Halloween traditions like "ghosting" neighbors with treat bags, and reveals his plans for three different Halloween costumes including a gorilla and Super Mario. Aloysius keeps it simple with his classic "pig in a blanket" costume.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm going to be what I am every year, which is the easiest and best costume in the whole wide world. I wear a blanket because it's kind of chilly, and I'm a pig in a blanket.”

    — Aloysius J. Pig

    “Please do not refer to me as a monster. I am not furry. I have, my nose is not big and orange. I do not have any horns.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “Here's a scary thing, though. When you're out there, you're ghosting people left and right. But then what happens if no one ghosts you? What happens, my friend, when the ghost is un-ghosted?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #costumes #lilmonster #holidays #trickortreating #suburbanlife #ghostingtradition

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Lil Monster, Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, well, well, hello there everybody. It's me, Natty Bumpercart. I get- What?

    Lil Monster: What is this? Who are you? Okay. Okay. There's a monster in the room. There's a monster in the studio. There's a monster in here with me right now. Ka-do, ka-do, ka-da, ka-da, ka-do, ka-do, ka-da.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Hey, hey, uh, hey, Natty. It's me, Aloysius J. Pig, and I see you met my friend. His name is Lil Monster. Okay, like L-A-L.

    Lil Monster: Like L-A-L? I don't- How do you spell it? Sorry. I don't speak monster. I'm so sorry.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know what you're saying to me. You seem very- You seem very emphatic about whatever it is that you're trying to say to me, though.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Yeah, so it's L-I-L apostrophe M-O-N-S-T-A. Lil Monster. So that's his name, Lil Monster.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, Lil Monster. Nice to meet you. My name is Natty Bumpercart, and this is my house, and you're in my studio, and I was just reporting- Reporting. I'm kind of nervous. Recording a podcast. So it's called the Bumper Podcast.

    Aloysius J. Pig: It's a bumper podcast. He knows. He's here every year. This is your big Halloween episode, because Halloween's going to be this upcoming week, and so we always like to, you know, have Lil Monster in, so he can talk about what he's been doing, his gigs he's been up to, kind of shenanigans, whatnot. You'll understand. A lot of what- Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: What's up? What? What? What? So is this really something that we do every single year, because it doesn't- I mean, like, it's great that you're here, but I don't- No, I was looking at our podcast analytics, which is, like, how many people listen, and I don't know how many people listen that can speak monster, so I don't want to-

    Aloysius J. Pig: Don't segregate your audience, okay? Don't just assume that nobody out there speaks monster, because a lot more people speak monster than you know about these days. You look- There's stories out there, there's monster-speaking people everywhere. Door lingo? Yeah, that's- yeah. They got a monster speech. All right. So you can learn to speak monster. What I'm saying is, he's been on the show for years and years and years, and you gotta respect him, okay? Okay? He brings something to the table. He brings a niche audience that is very fervent, and very excited about the show, and he shares it on social media, and so you gotta have- He's a little monster.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, well, well. Hello, everyone, on this bumper podcast, bumper car, bumper, bumper car podcast Halloween. I don't understand if we have the branding down exactly. It's our Rufus T. Rufus, the lawyer of the bumper podcast, and-

    Natty Bumpercar: Speaking of monsters, everybody, here's Rufus T. Rufus, the lawyer, to come and try to steal my show again, I suppose.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, we're fine. I understand. Now, you need to settle down, little monster, because I have in my possession some paperwork that was not signed by you, and so you are not authorized to even be in the building. I do not believe you have a badge on. I don't know how you made it past security. But you- Sir, I'm not authorized legally, authorized legally to be in here. So, I will ask you, sir- Rufus. To settle, settle it down. No use, Rufus. Settle it down a bit. And, uh, Mr. Bumper Car- Relax. Please do not refer to me as a monster. I am not furry. I have, my nose is not big and orange. I do not have any horns.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Okay, Rufus.

    Rufus T. Rufus: So, I would appreciate, sir, if you digressed.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Hey, Rufus. Listen, uh, I'll get whatever paperwork you guys, uh, with you. I'll get all that settled, but we gotta do the Halloween package. We gotta talk to little monster. He's very busy. He's supposed to be on some other shows, uh, very soon. And so, I don't wanna hold him up, and I don't wanna hold up other people. Because that's how we get a big reputation, okay? Now, can you bring me a- So, we'll be with you. We'll come by your office.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Bring me a beverage of my choice. All right? Fine, we'll bring that. Thank you. Now, let's just get going. Okay, I'm gonna- I'll skidoo, absolutely. But I just want you to know that I would like for my beverage to be, uh, silky smooth, cold, and righteous. So, that's what I'll be drinking today. All right, can you go- Everyone, this has been Rufus, T. Rufus, and I do apologize for taking your time.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so- Toodaloodin'. Toodaloodin'. Uh, oh boy. Um, just glad he's gone. So, monster, I suppose- I should, uh- Little monster.

    Unknown: Little.

    Natty Bumpercar: Little monster. Yeah, sorry about that. It's okay.

    Unknown: Uh, now that it's me, producer, and I was saying that the levels for me, monster, are perfect, and I have everything working out very well for you, and I hope that everything on the show is to your satisfaction. Okay. It's very good. And also-

    Natty Bumpercar: Thanks, producer.

    Unknown: If you guys are getting a drink for Rufus- No. And I would also like to have some sort of a drink or beverage, because I'm going to be thirsty, too. Yeah, we're not going out- If that's okay with you, then that's okay with me. Yeah, we're not going out. Um- We're not going out for drinks. Oh. Yeah. We just said that to- We're not taking drink orders? No, we just said that to get rid of Rufus. No one's making a run? No. No. Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: No one's making a run. Okay. Okay.

    Unknown: I'll go back into the booth. Okay. The producer booth, and I will just turn a thing to doing. You're doing a great job. Bye. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thanks, producer. Good job, little monster. See you next year.

    Natty Bumpercar: He's still here. He's here for the rest of the episode, so you- And you can actually say hi to him after we finish recording. I'm sorry about that, everyone. Normally, producer doesn't just pop into the show like that, but I guess he heard that we were going to make a run for some beverages, and he decided that it was his time to jump in to the fray. Anyway, okay. So, um- I'm woefully unprepared, because I didn't even know we were having little monster as a guest today. But maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about what you do, little monster, or how your last year was, because evidently you've been here every year, so that'll be kind of fun. Wow.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah. Serious business. We're looking forward to seeing you again. Let's see if I could talk about some of the little monsters he calls a little monster, but also a little monster. Or who knows? A little monster of like coammum versus a big monster, no matter what.

    Lil Monster: Yeah, I should know.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I should know. Yo man, let's see. You're such a Norris Toddy.

    Aloysius J. Pig: That was fun. That really happened? Okay? What? All right, that seems like he had a pretty busy year. Listen, Natty. He said he's got to go. He said we held him up with all that other stuff. It's always a pleasure to see you, bro. I'll see you on the flip side. Maybe at the Halloween party. There's a Halloween party? What are you going to be dressed as?

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, there's a Halloween party? Where is it? Can I come? No one told me there's a Halloween party. Can I please come to the… I like parties, and I like Halloween,

    Lil Monster: and I have a cool costume.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I don't speak monster.

    Natty Bumpercar: See you later. Thanks, little monster. Well, maybe somebody will invite me to the Halloween party. I would love to go. I have a really cool costume. Pig, what do you think you're going to be for Halloween?

    Aloysius J. Pig: I'm going to be what I am every year, which is the easiest and best costume in the whole wide world. I wear a blanket because it's kind of chilly, and I'm a pig in a blanket. It's like, what? Bam. That's my costume. Everybody sees it. Everybody's like, look at Pig. Aloysius. Yeah. Pairing it up again.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pig in a blanket. That's a lot more on the nose than I was expecting from you. Cool. So, here's a fun thing that I didn't know about until we moved out here to the suburbs. There's a thing called ghosting. You've been ghosted. They also say you've been booed. Booed. But not like that. I get booed all the time when I'm on stage. No. What? Yeah. No. Oh. What it is, is you take like a little baggie. You make a little gift bag, basically. We use brown paper bags, and we draw ghosts on them. And you put treats in there. Either some Halloween candy or some little doodads or whatever. And you go to your friend's house, and you put it on their doorstep, and you ring the doorbell, and you run. So your car is waiting for you, and then your person, your friend, comes out, and they're like, Oh, there's a treat on my front porch. I've been booed. I've been ghosted. Look at me. Ghosted with a mosted. And you don't put your name on there or anything. And so it's a big mystery. Who did this to me? Who could have possibly? It's a fun little thing that I really enjoy doing with the kids. And so we're going to do that, I think, tonight, actually. I've got to get my bags all packed because they're kicking me out. No. I've got to get the bags packed so we can go out ghosting. Um, here's a scary thing, though. When you're out there, you're ghosting people left and right. But then what happens if no one ghosts you? What happens, my friend, when the ghost is un-ghosted? Muahahaha! No, I honestly don't know. That hasn't happened. And it'll probably be a sad and bad scene if it does. Anyway, I've got to go exercise because I've got to fit into my gorilla costume that I'm wearing for Halloween. It's a little thing I got and I'm pretty excited about it. And I have three costumes this year because I'm hosting three different Halloween shows. So I figure I wanted to mix it up a little bit. Maybe I'll be a gorilla one day, maybe I'll be Mario another day, like Super Mario. And then another day I might be a gorilla wearing a Mario hat. Who knows? Or a gorilla wearing a Mario costume. It really it's it can go. It can go all kinds of different ways. So you go out this weekend, ghost your friends, have a blast, take care of yourself. We'll see you on on the flip side, I think is what we said to Lil Monsta. Oh, don't forget to follow Lil Monsta on all of his. I don't know if he has really anything. But anyway, this has been Natty Bumpercar. And this has been the Nattie Bumpercar Show. And this has been The Bumper Podcast. And you have been the best, booooo.

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  • Bumperpodcast #339 – Santa Claus?!

    Bumperpodcast #339 – Santa Claus?!

    Holy cow! Holy cow! Holy cow!! We have a tremendously awesome guest on the show today. It’s – Santa Claus!!! Hooray!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

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  • Bumperpodcast #314 – Groundhog Flu

    Bumperpodcast #314 – Groundhog Flu

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It is a huge day at the Bumperpodcast because it’s Groundhog day! We even have a special guest on the show to talk about the fun. Then, we deliver an ad for an app called ‘Picniic’ on today’s episode of the Bumperpodcast!

    Picniic is a nifty organization app for families who have way too much going on. I started playing with it last week, and was immediately shocked at how many times I have triple-booked myself over the next two months.

    To check it out, yourself, go to picniic.com/getstarted to set up your account and use promo code: PODPIC for 30 days of Picniic Premium free! (Repeat with emphasis on URL and promo code and SPELL P-I-C-N-I-I-C)

    Send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

     

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     

    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar celebrates his favorite holiday – Groundhog Day! In this special episode, Natty welcomes Mr. Groundhog himself to discuss the bizarre American tradition of letting a varmint predict the weather. The conversation takes unexpected turns as Aloysious J. Pig joins in to question the groundhog about the uncomfortable reality of being pulled from a hole by men in top hats. The episode explores the oddity of this enduring tradition, including revelations about Mr. Groundhog's school days with Punxsutawney Phil. Things get chaotic as the show veers into discussions about the flu, shopping lists, and whether the groundhog actually bites the handlers.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's the day when we let a varmint come out of a hole and tell us what the weather's gonna be. It's weird why how does this still happen? It's amazing I love it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If you're sleeping in your little hole and some dude wearing like a tuxedo jacket type thing maybe a cape… does he have a monocle? Is it terrifying?”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I found out if he sees his shadow six more weeks of winter and two different groundhog days saw two different things today so what does it mean I have no idea.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #groundhogday #holidays #traditions #weather #punxsutawneyphil #winter #animals

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Mr. Groundhog, Producer, Aloysious J. Pig

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey guys it's my favorite day of the year do you want to know what day it is I'm gonna tell you what day it is because you're gonna be excited too because it's a weird day it's a cool day it's a fun day and we have a special guest to talk about his experience with the day today's Groundhog Day that's right I'm not even gonna bury the lead I'm not even gonna like try to like hold it out for any longer I just want you to know that you should be excited because it's Groundhog Day it's the day when we let a varmint come out of a hole and and tell us what the weather's gonna be it's a weird why how does this still happen it's amazing I love it in this world this weird world that we live in that there's still this weird and I'm just gonna keep saying weird because it's so weird uh thing that people do that I mean it's not really commercialized really I mean it feels like it should at now it should be like groundhog day brought to you by i don't know uh umbrellas there or something i don't know but you know or just like the groundhog should be wearing patches of different uh companies or something like that um but it's not it's not it's not it's people get dressed up in top hats and stuff like that and in giant coats and there's a stage and there's a uh a box essentially and they they reach into it's it's not really i can't imagine it's pleasant for the groundhog but we're gonna find out but they reach into the body they pull this poor animal out and they're like what does he see his shadow and how do they know if he sees his shadow right i've got peripheral vision so i can see somebody coming up to my side and and maybe my set my shadows over there but i'm out of the thing they put him down if he sees his shadow then that means there's six more weeks of winter and if he doesn't see his shadow that means that spring is only six weeks away i might have that completely backwards another question that i'm probably going to need to ask the groundhog but without further ado ladies and gentlemen i'm going to bring to you my friend your friend he's going to be everyone's friend here give it up for mr groundhog

    Mr. Groundhog: okay here i just need to move you a little bit closer to the microphone

    Natty Bumpercar: okay good because i couldn't i couldn't really hear you so it's so nice to see you i'm sorry about the technical difficulty

    Producer: i know so this is

    Natty Bumpercar: you're super busy day february 2nd is when groundhog day is and it's just it's just american tradition and it was it's primarily and you can tell me if i'm right on this or wrong but they do it in a place called punxsutawney uh pennsylvania punxsutawney i love that word and there's a guy there i don't know you you okay but is punxsutawney phil that is their uh groundhog who lives in punxsutawney and he's like the most famous he's like the granddaddy he's like the big dude of groundhogs right

    Mr. Groundhog: all right so you you know i'm going to school with him that's amazing

    Natty Bumpercar: so i so ladies and gentlemen we're getting fun facts about punxsutawney phil in his school days that i didn't was not expecting today i did not know this was going to be an exclusive story but so uh so mr groundhog and so is it it's m-i-s-t-a like mr groundhog all right so um mike hear my questions is it super unpleasant for you to oh speaking of unpleasant hey pig what's going on i was just like who's the best

    Aloysious J. Pig: hog that our bubba guy knows and who knows everything about everything and i was just like oh that's me i rolled out of bed i had a little snack oh i brushed my teeth you're gonna took a shower uh-huh i uh dried off did some powder did some lotion you know got really right uh-huh and then i got dressed okay and i came down to stay lotion's important and uh here we are okay hello talking

    Natty Bumpercar: to you talking to me hey pig so uh cool well real quick right now we got to hear from our sponsors so we'll catch up in just a second and now a quick word from one of our sponsors i'm so busy but luckily i discovered picnic it is an organizational app for my family i can enter events into a shared calendars we have to-do lists shopping lists and ebooks and we have a whole range of things to do and even recipes so you should totally go do it go get organized just go to picnic.com get started to set up your account and use promo code pod pick for 30 days of picnic premium for free that's picnic p-i-c-n-i-i-c dot com slash get started and promo code pod pick so go and get organized today we now return you to whatever in the world it was that you were listening to just before the commercial here on the bumper podcast good luck

    Aloysious J. Pig: you're going to need it oh that's so that's that's so nice yeah still got a sponsor it's so cool right because i was gonna tell you the snack bar yep he's uh empty right now i know you could go get me some oats perhaps just make a list some suet suet and a little bit of uh i don't know honey okay and some uh some donuts donuts i appreciate it i love all this money uh-huh get me some donuts okay back to you hog okay uh groundhog what's your name his name is

    Natty Bumpercar: mr groundhog so address him accordingly

    Producer: bro is he okay

    Aloysious J. Pig: he's hissing he's hissing is this is this groundhog okay is he going through has he got some sort of i don't know groundhog disease or some sort of groundhog issue or some sort of groundhog problem because listen i don't need that in my life right now all right it's bad enough with a flu yeah right it's good to see you too peanut lou i haven't seen or heard or talked to you in a long time but no we

    Natty Bumpercar: were actually talking about the flu and man it is brutal this year i mean we're getting notices from school we're getting notices from daycare uh i know people who have it and it sounds like maybe the worst thing ever like oh i i haven't had it in a couple years knock on wood but uh man uh the aches the pains the chills it knocks you out for like a week uh and it went around my office last year and i luckily avoided it there too uh so i i highly recommend here's what i do i don't know if you want health tips from me but i basically i don't know if you want health tips from me but i basically i uh in the morning i get up i sit in the shower i turn the shower on and i just stay there all day and if anyone comes near me i spray uh spray them with uh disinfectant because i don't want i can't i can't deal with the flu i don't want the flu i have a uh a little low grade cold but that happens you know it's it's hot it's cold outside it's snowy but the flu no thank you

    Producer: yeah bumper car here's the thing the uh you know i don't want the flu i don't want the flu i don't

    Aloysious J. Pig: the uh the little dude over there he's saying that he he's upset that he came all the way in to talk to you about uh groundhog's day and now you're going on and on about the flu he doesn't want to be associated he doesn't want his brand to be associated with getting the flu with the aches and the pains and the chills so he want if we could let's refocus let's re-rack the camera and let's come back and talk about groundhog day so here's i got a couple of quick questions do you mind mr groundhog

    Natty Bumpercar: okay go ahead pig i'll let you uh okay okay yeah he's pig's gonna ask you a couple questions so

    Aloysious J. Pig: here's the thing uh groundhog mr mr groundhog uh i'm just gonna call you uh mg from now on mr groundhog mr groundhog he's a mr groundhog you know uh uh uh mr groundhog he's a mr groundhog you know oh oh oh i'm working on a song for you we're gonna get it it's gonna blow up it's gonna be the top of the charts anyway if you're sleeping in your little hole and some dude wearing like a tuxedo jacket type thing maybe a cape i don't know does he have a cane what is this dude doing does he have a monocle is this a man who's wearing a monocle does he come to you is it terrifying do then does he do they coax you out are they like here's a carrot or something like that or do they literally like reach into the box and pull you out by your i don't know by your no i don't know what do they how are they grabbing you you ain't got no no handles or nothing

    Natty Bumpercar: wow that's serious you get angry you you bite them okay well that's probably not you know it's not a great idea but it might be the most helpful for you ladies and gentlemen this has been groundhog day mr groundhog aloicious jay pig i found out if he sees his shadow six more weeks of winter and two different groundhog days saw two different things today so what does it mean i have no idea but i hope you've had a great day it's been fun hanging out with you bumper pod

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