Tag: Headquarters

  • Bumperpodcast #135 – Yay, Robot!

    Bumperpodcast #135 – Yay, Robot!

    Oh joy! Robot is back in town … How legitimately exciting! I wonder what he’ll talk about?!

    Have you ever wondered what you’d talk about? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we can write a script!!

    And live in Hollywood!!

    About This Episode

    In episode 135 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar welcomes back Robot after a long absence from the show. What starts as an exciting reunion quickly turns into a hilarious roast session as Robot reveals his true feelings about Natty's recent mobile broadcast episodes. Robot shares a mundane story about his boot falling off, while Natty desperately tries to bring energy and excitement to the show. The two engage in comedic banter about what makes good podcast content, with Robot suggesting he should host instead. The episode features the classic improvisational humor and character dynamics that Bumperpodcast fans love.

    Memorable Quotes

    “those shows were terrible what i mean they were on the verge of being are you kidding… i was just like really this is what he's doing this is the bumper podcast really”

    — Robot

    “i was in a car one day one day i was walking down a like a really busy road and almost got runned over… and i got beat up by a butterfly”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #robot #podcasting #metahumor #criticism #friendship #banter

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and you're listening to the bumper podcast but i'm not gonna bore you with my stuff today because we haven't done something in a while and i think you're gonna be pretty excited about it because i know for some reason i have convinced myself to be pretty excited about it if you could sit on the edge of your seats and get excited and say hello to my friend robot

    Robot: is it really oh come on robot that's not fair

    Unknown: oh you just made a robot day well okay robots oh come on here

    Natty Bumpercar: all right well i'm thrilled that i made your day robot but as you know the bumper podcast is not a lot of time and you really haven't been invited here for quite a while and if you want you should probably if you want to be on the show you should really maximize your time you should really okay okay do something like i do a lot of stuff on the show i sang about a bear last week you did all right yes it's fine okay well fine this is me

    Robot: robot and i'm sure you're all been wondering what i've been doing well i got a new boat last week because one of my boats had fallen off while i was walking down the

    Natty Bumpercar: stairs and so what happened was this is the worst i story yeah i thought that they would be no they're not no no robot what i'm telling you is if you're going to be on the bumper podcast you podcast you really have to like bring it the fire the flames the excitement that you know like the last couple of weeks we were doing like mobile broadcasts because we didn't want people to miss out on the awesome right am i right bumper podcast listeners bumper podcast kateers if you will

    Robot: those shows were terrible what i mean they were on the verge of being are you kidding you know i listen every week but i would and i even live here but i would put those shows on and i was just like really this is what he's doing this is the bumper podcast really why

    Natty Bumpercar: not just take a break let robot do a show i don't know are you serious are you even kidding like they were that bad that you couldn't even listen to them like i was in a car one day one day i was walking down a like a really busy road and almost got runned over i almost got runned over and i got beat up by a butterfly

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast 120 – Flu

    Bumperpodcast 120 – Flu

    Incoherence … thy name is Bumpercar!

    In this episode – Bumpercar rambles on about some number game that doesn’t seem to have any rules and also doesn’t seem to make any sense. Then he diverges wildly to talking about a chimney.

    Please help us by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we’ll take a nap.

    A sleepy nap.

     

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 120, host Natty Bumpercar delivers a hilariously rambling monologue while under the influence of cold medication. Natty describes an unusual mental game involving compressing repeating numbers and letters, using examples like turning "Mississippi" into "MIPS." The episode takes a comedic turn as Natty discusses having "the flu" and confuses it with a fireplace flue, mentioning Robot's habit of rolling newspapers into logs to heat headquarters. This short, stream-of-consciousness episode showcases Natty's delirious humor and self-aware commentary about being incoherent.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I have what's called the flu and I don't even have a chimney. So it's strange that I have to have my flu cleaned.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Can you guys tell that I'm still on cold medication? Because I am.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I have been taking a cold medication and I am incoherent and I am now realizing that, which is unfortunate, not only for me, but also for you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #illness #coldmedication #mentalgames #numbers #letters #robot #headquarters #streamofconsciousness

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh bumper podcast how you doing it's number one two oh i love that i have this thing that i play sometimes where i like to it doesn't i do it with numbers and with letters where like if it if there's like an oh and a one and a two or multiple numbers are the same then i try to compress it down until it's the smallest it can be so like if your number is like uh eight eight seven uh four three six nine whatever like that then what i'll do is i'll be like okay the eights can go into each other so the eight and the eight go down uh and then so the seven can go before the eight and then four six nine okay so i have a six a seven and eight those because there's two eights together and a nine so all that can kind of oh wait a minute that's gonna leave me with a four so then that four what i'm gonna do is oh it's gonna huh i might be left with a four yeah because the four i would sometimes i would divide it into the eights so it would be i'm not making any sense at all am i to you this is something that's weird that i do in my brain and so i'd have the six seven eight nine and i'd put those together gone and then i just have a four but sometimes i'll do as i'll take like the four and i'll put it into the eights so i'm like well eight is divided by four so it'll go in there it's i don't know i don't know i like to get rid of the the the the numbers and i'll do it with letters sometimes too so like if you have like mississippi then i'm like all right all you s's you become one s all you p's you become one P. All you I's, you become one I. So it becomes like M-I-S-P or M-I-P-S, MIPS or MISP. Can you guys tell that I'm still on cold medication? Because I am. I have what's called the flu and I don't even have a chimney. So it's strange that I have to have my flu cleaned. I think what happened is that Robot was, he reads the newspaper every day and he likes to put the spent newspapers into, he rolls them up into logs and he puts them into the fireplace and then he keeps, he sets it on fire and it keeps headquarters warm, which is pretty nice. But the problem is, is that it evidently, it coats the chimney. The flu has to be open and I have the flu and I have been taking a cold medication and I am incoherent and I am now realizing that, which is unfortunate, not only for me, but also for you. It's also kind of ridiculous because the bumper podcast is done.

  • Bumperpodcast 119 – Bonanza

    Bumperpodcast 119 – Bonanza

    Bumpercar skips by his newly found gift of ill health and instead decides to focus on his friend Christmas Tree leaving Headquarters.

    What do you think that Christmas Trees do when they reach Christmas Tree Bonanza? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and then we’ll share the wealth.

    The wealth!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

  • Bumperpodcast 114 – Learning, kneeling and skating!

    Bumperpodcast 114 – Learning, kneeling and skating!

    Today, we learn a word and we also learn some best practices to follow when ice skating … I don’t want to give it all away here – but – trust me when I say that this is a fun-fact-filled Bumperpodcast!

    Do you have any facts that you’d like to share with us? Email them to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com – and you will be more awsome than ever.

    Yee-haw!

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In episode 114 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar finds himself without a chair and kneeling while recording. He goes on a hilarious tangent about almost inventing a new word for being on one's knees, only to realize "kneeling" already exists. Natty then shares the joys and perils of winter at headquarters, where the castle's moat freezes over for ice skating races. He offers sage advice about racing dragons on ice and warns about the dangers of moat monsters and disgusting moat water. This episode showcases Natty's signature rambling comedy style as he turns simple observations into absurd adventures.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I got so excited because I thought that I just invented something where we needed a new word in the lexicon… it's kneeling but I guess it's already there man what a letdown.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “If you're ever in a race with a dragon he breathes fire and steam so let him stay in front of you for most of the race and then slip past him.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We learned a word, kneeling, and we learned a lesson: don't skate with dragons.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #winter #iceskating #dragons #castlelife #christmas #moat #headquarters

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well if it isn't the bumper podcast with me natty bumper car this is number 114 of the of the year of the day this is number 114 i'm sitting i'm sitting here i'm not sitting here i'm sit how do you i'm standing but i'm not standing because i'm on my knees what is that called i know when you sit you're on your took us when you stand you're on your feet what's it called when you're oh i'm kneeling i thought i was so literally for a second there i got so excited because i thought that i just invented something where we needed a new word in the lexicon in the language and i figured uh that in whatever book holds all the words the dictionary that maybe a bumper car would show up there and it would be like this guy invented a new word for when you're on your knees it's not sitting it's not neat uh standing it's kneeling but i guess it's already there man what a letdown you would have been part of history today bumper podcast no but so i'm kneeling as the kids are evidently calling it these days right now because my chair is gone i don't have a chair i don't have a stool i don't have a bench i ain't got nothing i don't even have my two front teeth because i for christmas and evidently if you already have something and then you uh ask for it well it it cancels it out and then you get you get a piece of coal which don't tell anybody but that's part of my plan i'm really angling for the piece of coal because it's very chilly in headquarters can i tell you bumper podcast that the best part of living in headquarters which is a castle obviously is that we have a moat and so when winter comes around the moat freezes over and it's a big circle and we just get to get our skates on and just do laps and laps and laps and laps all the way around headquarters it's so much fun we have races and uh you know prizes and stuff the worst part is if you're ever in a race with a dragon he breathes fire and steam so uh you know let him stay in front of you and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and he'll be fine and for most of the race and then slip past him because if he's behind you he's gonna huff and puff and you're gonna fall through the uh the ice into the moat and then you gotta contend with the moat monster and there is nothing more disgusting than moat water i mean that's why when it's frozen over it's okay but when you're in there and you have skates on you know just like i'm swimming but i can't swim because i have skates on it's gross so don't skate on a moat with a dragon when he's behind you you learned a lesson today listen to this we learned a word caneling and we learned a lesson don't skate with dragons

  • Bumperpodcast 108 – Power-free

    Bumperpodcast 108 – Power-free

    So – Headquarters has been without power for several days now – and we have all ben hunkered in our bunker and forgot to keep track of the calendar and basically – we missed yesterdays Bumperpodcast.

    Did you miss it as well? I am sorry if you did.

    This episode was recorded via tin-can … a coffee-tin-can – and – it tries really hard!

    Email us your stories about how you lost power at Bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In episode 108 of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar records from an emergency bunker after losing power at headquarters. An unexpected October snowstorm caused chaos when snow fell on trees that still had their leaves, resulting in widespread damage from fallen trees and downed power lines. Natty humorously describes spending a night at headquarters listening to trees crack and fall, being unable to drive anywhere due to debris, and now recording the episode on a coffee can. Despite the challenging circumstances, Natty delivers this short update episode about the natural disaster while hoping headquarters won't smell funny by the time power is restored.

    Memorable Quotes

    “we are a day late and a dollar short a day late and a dollar short we have no dollars we have our days”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “i'm recording this on a coffee can like coffee can alley”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “that's what happens when you lose power from what i understand things start to smell really funny”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #weather #naturaldisaster #snowstorm #poweroutage #halloweenseason #nature #emergency

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: okay that was very anticlimactic ladies and gentlemen this is the bumper podcast and we are without power at headquarters and so we're trying to make do and give you uh as much of a bumper podcast as we possibly can we understand that we are a day late and a dollar short a day late and a dollar short we have no dollars we have our days i'm i am a broken bumper car power gone headquarters is so here's what happened snow came and you think oh look at the nice snowfall it's october it's gonna snow and then no because here's what happens there's still leaves on the trees fall hasn't happened yet the the trees haven't done their little dance where they shake the leaves off and so the to take into account that snow fell from the sky anyway so it's kind of like it's life it's like i like falling sometimes i like to just fall and then i'm gonna just rest on the ground and then time is gonna come where i'm gonna melt melt away bye-bye snow time but for the leaves like you know it's it's the whole circle of the leaf tree thing is has been broken and oh look at that transition that the trees have been broken trees fall crack boom we were inside headquarters at night just listening without power we went through one night at headquarters with no power and just listen to things crack and fall and the trees tried to fall in the car and so then we went outside and it was devastation there was no power uh because why there are power lines down there were power poles down there were trees across the road piles of trees everywhere and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and everywhere uh to the point where you can't even drive around and so now we're in the bunker we're hunkered down in the bunker i'm recording this bumper podcast i don't even know what number it is i don't even know if i'm going to be able to put it up on the web uh but i'm recording it on a tin can so coffee can i'm recording this on a coffee can like coffee can alley um hopefully you know in the next week too we'll go back to headquarters and it'll still be there and it won't you know smell funny that's what happens when you lose power from what i understand things start to smell really funny