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  • Bumperpodcast #295 – Bring your kid to work

    Bumperpodcast #295 – Bring your kid to work

    It’s ‘Bring Your Kid to Work’ day on the Bumperpodcast – and – if he keeps it up, he’ll be a regular. It’s the best appearance yet by one of the smaller Bumpercars!

    Have you everbrought your kid? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

     

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to celebrate Take Your Kid to Work Day with his son Emerson, albeit a day late. The duo discusses the mishaps of missed communication involving skywriting, a dog delivery service, and secretaries that don't exist. They debate Oliver's alleged strawberry allergy, the absurdity of "Lettuce Fridays" at work, and Natty's new job as a garbage man. Emerson struggles with sitting still while Natty spins increasingly ridiculous tales about workplace lunches, from soup that's just warm water to sharing a single lettuce leaf. The episode showcases the playful father-son dynamic and improvisational comedy that makes Bumperpodcast so entertaining.

    Memorable Quotes

    “There's a cart that comes around the hallways pushed by this really tiny old man. And all it has on it is lettuce and we each get one leaf of lettuce.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I'm very good at sitting.”

    — Emerson

    “I'm a garbage man. I hold on to the back of the truck.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #takeyourkidtoworkday #father-sonrelationship #foodallergies #worklife #garbagecollection #schoolrules #lunch #childhood

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hey everybody it's me natty bumper car and i have a uh guest a friend a guest a compadre somebody who's helping me out with a show today who are you emerson you're emerson and you're here because it's take your kid to work day and so i decided to bring you to work right here at the bumper podcast but that was yesterday well but we're gonna pretend it was today okay because there's a lot of pretending it was yesterday and i was forgot i did not forget i was too busy at work and i was not able to you just told me i know i should have told you there was a there was a lapse in communication i sent a note to your secretary did she not give it to you

    Unknown: no what your secretary to me oh come on secretary i actually

    Natty Bumpercar: i I did a skywriting. I had an airplane right up in the sky. Did you look in the sky yesterday?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, so that's what the note was. The airplane in clouds wrote, dear.

    Unknown: It did not.

    Natty Bumpercar: And it just said EM because I didn't have enough money to spell out Emerson because that's too long of a name. Is that even your name? Yes. Of course it is. Did you just fall off of a chair?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're not good at this. Yes, I am. You are not good at sitting, my friend.

    Unknown: I'm very good at sitting.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think we should get you into some sitting classes.

    Unknown: No, I don't want to be. It's so boring. No, you could become a professional sitter. No.

    Natty Bumpercar: You could get a college scholarship in sitting. No way. Some of the best schools in the nation, in the country, have sitting teams. All right, fine.

    Unknown: Never, never, never, never.

    Natty Bumpercar: So you didn't get my note in the clouds yesterday. Yeah, I did not. That's very sad. I feel terrible about that.

    Unknown: I was in class already. What time was it at?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, it was at 11.37. And then the airplane.

    Unknown: I ate lunch then.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you were in the lunchroom? See, I messed up. I messed up. See, see. Did, did, wait, did. I also, I also, because just in case you didn't get the skywriting, I sent Socks with a note on his collar. Did he come to school? He was supposed to come to school.

    Unknown: He's not. There's no dogs allowed in school.

    Natty Bumpercar: They didn't. You didn't let him in?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, that's not fair at all. How am I supposed to deal with that?

    Unknown: Do you know the sign that says no dogs allowed?

    Natty Bumpercar: There is no sign that says no dogs allowed.

    Unknown: You better check at school, Daddy.

    Natty Bumpercar: You better check at school.

    Unknown: I checked it already.

    Natty Bumpercar: It said no dogs at school. I don't feel like you checked it. I'm not so sure that you checked it.

    Unknown: I did check it.

    Natty Bumpercar: And what does the sign say?

    Unknown: Don't bring your pet to school.

    Natty Bumpercar: That says, there is no way that there is a sign that says it.

    Unknown: But you can bring cats or birds or anything else.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, this doesn't make any sense, then.

    Unknown: I don't know if they're dogs. People might be allergic to cats or dogs, birds, or snails.

    Natty Bumpercar: People are not allergic to snails, I don't think.

    Unknown: People are allergic to strawberries.

    Natty Bumpercar: Who's allergic to strawberries?

    Unknown: Nobody.

    Natty Bumpercar: I feel like there's somebody that you're thinking of that is specifically.

    Unknown: No, no, no, no, no.

    Natty Bumpercar: But is he actually allergic to strawberries, do you think? No. We are speaking about Emerson Smallbrook. His little brother, Oliver, who claims to be allergic to strawberries. And what happens?

    Unknown: He froze up, but he's not allergic because he never, ever, ever, ever tried them.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson.

    Unknown: What?

    Natty Bumpercar: I feel like there are some foods that have strawberry in them that Oliver eats. And he does not get sick. He does not freak out. Did you know this?

    Unknown: Yes, I did know that.

    Natty Bumpercar: What foods do you think he eats that actually have strawberries in them?

    Unknown: I, um, donuts, strawberries.

    Natty Bumpercar: Strawberry donuts? The pink ones?

    Unknown: Yeah, and, and, and ice cream.

    Natty Bumpercar: Strawberry ice cream? Yeah, uh, I don't know if he's actually had any of that. He has. What's his favorite ice cream flavor?

    Unknown: Cookie Monster? What color is it?

    Natty Bumpercar: Um, blue.

    Unknown: And what's in it?

    Natty Bumpercar: Chocolate chips. No, there's cookies in it.

    Unknown: What?

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh. Oh, maybe chocolate chips. Maybe it's like chocolate chip cookies. And I like chocolate chip mint. That's new.

    Unknown: That's a new thing.

    Natty Bumpercar: Because I used to not like mint. I know. You used to be like, mint's not good. Mint's no yum. I don't like mint. I don't like mint. I don't like mint. I don't like mint. I was little then. Yeah, but now you're big. Now you're in the big world where you, you eat mints. What just happened? Did it just hurt your leg?

    Unknown: Nope.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is that, you know what? Is that another sitting issue that we're having? No, no, no. It feels like if you could just sit in your seat, like maybe this would go much better. I don't know. I'm actually kneeling because you took my chair. Oh, sorry.

    Unknown: This is kneeling.

    Natty Bumpercar: But you're too big for the chair. No, I'm, the chair is perfect size for me. It's my, it's my chair and I fit in it pretty well. It's probably mine.

    Unknown: It's my chair too.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it? Well, I, if I share it, it's your chair.

    Unknown: We share chairs.

    Natty Bumpercar: There's no, I don't think there's any reason to move that. So what do you think we're going to do today when we take, take our Emerson to work?

    Unknown: Um, um, daddy's going to do lots of work and then we're going to get lunch and then.

    Natty Bumpercar: Nope. No lunch today. Aw. On Fridays, we're not allowed to eat lunch. They don't let us.

    Unknown: Yes, they do.

    Natty Bumpercar: No. They, you know what they do? What? There's a cart that comes around the hallways. And it's, it's pushed by a cart. It's, it's pushed by this, uh, really tiny old man. And all it has on it is lettuce and we each get one leaf of lettuce.

    Unknown: That's bad.

    Natty Bumpercar: And they say, enjoy your lettuce. Like that. Well, he's not that good.

    Unknown: I think you're lying, daddy. No, but here's what, the sad part is, is they're not going to have enough lettuce for you.

    Natty Bumpercar: So you and I are going to have to share a lettuce leaf for lunch.

    Unknown: Ew. But what about the dressing on it? There's no dressing on it.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, there's no dress, they don't have, there's no, there's no funding for dressing. I'm not going to eat it. I mean, I'm going to, I'm just going to bring, um, um, I'm just going to bring a fruit roll

    Unknown: up and eat it. Where, where are you going to get this fruit roll up? Because we don't have any more. No. Okay. I'm just going to get, uh.

    Natty Bumpercar: Have you seen your bag? It's full of snacks. I have so.

    Unknown: I'm going to eat all my snacks. You're going to snack it up?

    Natty Bumpercar: And daddy's going to get lettuce. Yeah.

    Unknown: I'm, well, I'm excited for lettuce Fridays. I don't like lettuce Fridays. I like, um. You like gummy sundaes.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I like. And taco Tuesdays. And, and taco and, and pizza Thur. Pizza, pizza Fursday?

    Unknown: Thursday. Yeah. Pizza, pizza Thursday? And, and, and, um.

    Natty Bumpercar: Fish, fish steak Monday?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: What about meatball Wednesday?

    Unknown: Oh, spaghetti and meatball Monday, um, and. And, and, and? And, and, and?

    Natty Bumpercar: And, and, and? And, and.

    Unknown: And, and.

    Natty Bumpercar: And, and?

    Unknown: And, and. Um. And, and.

    Natty Bumpercar: And, and. And, and.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: And, and. And, and.

    Unknown: Yeah, and, and. And, and. you're really thinking about this huh what about peanut butter and jelly no no no peanut butter and jelly is allergic we're just allergic but you're you can have them here but everybody's gonna have them where huh you said it's um peanut butter jay um peanut butter jelly

    Natty Bumpercar: we're gonna have to edit that out they do not sponsor this podcast so we are not giving them any money no additional advertising for that for that corporation now it's today so it's gonna be lettuce friday and you know what tomorrow we're gonna start a new thing it's soup saturday but the soup we don't have anything to put in it so it's It's really just warm water. Is that okay? I think it'll be delicious.

    Unknown: Hi, Daddy. I have to go pee.

    Natty Bumpercar: What?

    Unknown: I don't have to go pee. Do you really?

    Natty Bumpercar: But you just said that to everyone. That's inappropriate. Sorry, everyone. This is now a not safe for work podcast.

    Unknown: Daddy's fine. He didn't say anything about that.

    Natty Bumpercar: I didn't say that we have to keep it clean?

    Unknown: No, you didn't say any of that to me.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, it was in the note that I sent you. Did you get the note?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: I gave it to your secretary. Did she not give you this note either?

    Unknown: She did not. Either? I was at 12.

    Natty Bumpercar: It was at 12?

    Unknown: No. Wait, what did you say again?

    Natty Bumpercar: Which one?

    Unknown: Oh, I was in recess. I was at recess.

    Natty Bumpercar: They give you recess?

    Unknown: Yeah, they give me recess.

    Natty Bumpercar: I told them that you're supposed to work during lunch. I want you outside mowing the grass, picking up trash.

    Unknown: They don't even have that. There's no trash anywhere.

    Natty Bumpercar: There's no trash at your school?

    Unknown: Yeah. What about garbage?

    Natty Bumpercar: What about garbage?

    Unknown: There's no garbage.

    Natty Bumpercar: What about recycling?

    Unknown: There's no recycling.

    Natty Bumpercar: There's none of that?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, well, I don't know if I believe you, but I don't feel like you would fib to me.

    Unknown: Uh, but maybe there is garbage.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, wait a minute. You've been caught. You've been caught in a trap.

    Unknown: Maybe. Maybe we do. Only in the schools, not outside. Bye. I thought you were talking about outside.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, you have it inside? You have garbage inside?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's the last place that I would expect you to have garbage. Why do you have garbage inside?

    Unknown: I don't know.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is this your stuff? Are you putting garbage inside? No, I'm not. Well, it's a good thing to bring it back around that we are going to take your kid to work day because you know what my job is?

    Unknown: What? Don't, don't make a garbage tool anywhere.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm a garbage man.

    Unknown: I never seen a garbage man. I hold on to the back of the truck. I know. I've seen you last year and you never had a garbage truck.

    Natty Bumpercar: This is a new job. The only reason we're still at home right now at headquarters is we're waiting for my truck to come around and get us.

    Unknown: No, I already saw the truck.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm especially worried that you're not going to be able to hold on to the back of it. Like when it goes around a corner and if you fall off the truck, man, mommy's going to get really mad at me.

    Unknown: And what if I have to go to the bathroom?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, well, you don't get to. Here's the thing. Sometimes when the lettuce man comes around and gives me lettuce, I do sneak out and I go potty. But that's only once a day that I'm allowed to do that.

    Unknown: Daddy, do you want to share food today?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Okay, how about I'll take one bite of lettuce and then you can have the rest because you're a growing boy and I want you to have all the nutrients and everything. Okay. Is that a good plan? Yes. Do you think you're going to make it through the whole day? Yes. Are you going to fall asleep? Maybe take a nap? Are you going to? Are you going to hide under my desk?

    Unknown: Maybe.

    Natty Bumpercar: My desk in the garbage truck?

    Unknown: Oh, no.

    Natty Bumpercar: No?

    Unknown: But you do have a garbage can.

    Natty Bumpercar: I do have a garbage can. I actually have two garbage cans in my tiny office.

    Unknown: I never… It doesn't make any sense to me. Do you know if you're going to make this into a Star Wars thing?

    Natty Bumpercar: The Star Wars thing?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, I do. I don't know if he's going to be there today.

    Unknown: Aw.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's one of the good reasons that we were actually able to take you to work today is I found out that no one is going to be there.

    Unknown: Yay.

    Natty Bumpercar: This is going to be me and you. You know why?

    Unknown: Why? What about that guy?

    Natty Bumpercar: You know why?

    Unknown: What about…

    Natty Bumpercar: Because today's Saturday.

    Unknown: Yeah. Today's not Saturday. Today's Friday. Yesterday was Thursday. Womp womp.

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  • Bumperpodcast #196: More Halloween styles

    Bumperpodcast #196: More Halloween styles

    Natty Bumpercar talks Halloween – Halloween – Halloween! Costumes, being a tracker, webs, candy, pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns … And, resumes!

    Do you Halloween? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this Halloween-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces a costume crisis just two days before Halloween. The costumes he ordered online for his family—including a blue monster with googly eyes and a bunny rabbit inspired by Richard Scarry's Nicholas—are stuck in transit. Natty humorously discusses his failed attempts at tracking the shipment and jokes about his qualifications as a post-apocalyptic tracker. He also shares the chaos of decorating Bumperpodcast headquarters with spiderwebs, his struggle to find time for pumpkin carving in a busy parent schedule, and his desperate need to roast pumpkin seeds before the season ends.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If the apocalypse ever comes and your group needs a tracker boom bumper car is your man. I will well I mean I'm not doing such a good job at it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I've tied knives to the dog and I've pointed him towards the pumpkins so I suppose that when we get home we'll see what he's done.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Pumpkin seeds are delicious they're all salt they're just little containers for me to eat salt.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #costumes #parenting #pumpkincarving #holidays #onlineshopping #timemanagement

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes what's going on everybody it's me natty bumper car and it's the bumper podcast and it's one of the best days of the year why because we're so close to halloween yeah oh boy oh boy oh boy that was real excitement but the thing is i don't have a costume uh the baby bumper car's costume is still in transit so we're two days away now and no one has a costume we're supposed to wander all around town in what nothing we don't have anything this is a real situation that we have i i i live in the future you all know that and so i went online and i i ordered the uh the the costumes we picked stuff out everyone was signed off on it yes i want to be a blue monster with googly eyes and i forget what the rest of the costume is and a beard is what one of them is going to be and the other one's going to be a bunny rabbit because okay richard scary uh what's his name nicholas the bunny those are fine costumes when they get to your house but now they're not here they're in transit i don't know where transit is and i i get numbers tracking numbers and i'm trying like a tracker i'm like a hunter gatherer who has gone out into the wild and is tracking the costumes so if if the world ever ends if the apocalypse ever comes and your group needs a tracker boom bumper car is your man i i will well i mean i'm not doing such a good job at it i want to i don't know if that should be part of my uh resume or part of the interview process i think just the fact that i have the title of tracker is probably good enough i i think that you know that maybe i don't do such a good job maybe you know if you ask me i'm gonna say yeah of course i know how to track and i would rather you not talk to uh any of the people that i'm gonna give you their names for any uh of of my uh or whatever those people are called when you have uh your what are those people called i've been those people before you know hey can you vouch for me vouchers it's not a voucher it's a uh resume people man all right well you know what we're gonna forget that because i have no idea what i'm trying to say anyway tracker bumper car that's me if you need something found i'm your man what are you guys gonna do for halloween what are you gonna be anything are you gonna you're gonna wear costumes are you gonna you're gonna go out and get some candy is your house all decorated we uh we decorated headquarters like pretty well like i got a lot of those webs and i put them on bushes and i put them on the house and i made like you actually have to walk under the webs to get into the house which uh people are not happy with anyone who comes to the house is just like dude why are all the webs everywhere i'm like well it's halloween time this is halloween everybody make a scream halloween halloween halloween time we got three pumpkins that we have not carved yet because who has time to carve pumpkins no one you get up you drop people off at school you go to work you go pick people up from school you can get home you've got homework you've got dinner you've got bath time you've got to read some books sing some songs and then everybody's asleep there's no pumpkin time and then did you hear even a gap a minute a minute um no you did not hear a minute because there's none ah so what i've done is i've i've tied knives i've tied knives to the dog and i've pointed him towards the pumpkins so i suppose that when we get home we'll see what he's done hopefully it's got a scary spooky face and a jack-o'-lantern smile or frown or whatever they have no i don't know i don't know maybe we're just gonna have pumpkins this year maybe we'll paint them i could paint a lot faster than i can cut but if i do that you know what i'm not gonna get pumpkin seeds and i need pumpkin seeds this for the rest the entire year i don't have pumpkin seeds and this is the season of year where i get my my pumpkin seed quota gets filled right now we're in the red i would like to get to the black with pumpkin seeds because they're delicious they're all salt they're just little containers for me to eat so let's do this halloween now

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  • Bumperpodcast #195: Halloween guest

    Bumperpodcast #195: Halloween guest

    Natty Bumpercar has a pal hang out on the Bumperpodcast who tells him all about his Halloween costume – and about some junk that he saw on tv that he wants … That’s right … Tiny Bumpercar is back – and – awesome!

    Do you fail? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this adorable episode of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar interviews an enthusiastic young guest who can't contain their excitement. The conversation bounces from dinosaurs (including the feathered Xenosaurus and the scary T-Rex) to confusing toy commercials featuring a punching Spider-Man toy and a mysterious wrecking ball contraption. Natty attempts to understand the logic behind toys that punch the air and toys that require extensive setup only to knock everything down. The episode wraps up with Halloween costume plans involving Caillou-inspired monster accessories, capturing the delightful chaos of trying to have a coherent conversation with an excitable child.

    Memorable Quotes

    “That's like if I walked around all the time, all during the day, and I was just like… People are going to think I'm crazy, right?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It doesn't punch anything. It's only a toy, because it doesn't punch anybody. It's not walking. It only stays on the ground.”

    — Young Guest

    “So wait, we have to sit there and build all the towers and then this toy just says up and spins around and knocks all the… That seems like a lot of work for me.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #dinosaurs #toys #spider-man #halloween #children #commercials #interview

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Unknown: Oh, what's up, Buffer Podcast?

    Natty Bumpercar: It's me, Andy Buffer. And I've got a little screaming person here.

    Unknown: Yay!

    Natty Bumpercar: Hey, screaming person, what were you talking about just a second ago? What's your favorite book that we just found? Dinosaurs! Yeah, it's a dinosaur book, and that's pretty cool, right? Dinosaurs? What's your favorite dinosaur? Oh, Xenosaurus! There's a Xenosaurus? He's got feathers on his arms, right? What's the scariest dinosaur, do you think?

    Unknown: T-Rex!

    Natty Bumpercar: You don't have to yell it. Do you hear me? I'm not yelling. I mean, I'm just talking right to the microphone. Hey. We were watching television a second ago, too, and you saw something. And what was it that you wanted? Do you remember? Because when the commercial was on, you acted like it was the most important thing in the world. Spider-Man punching? Spider-Man punching? Spider-Man punching? Spider-Man punching? Spider-Man doesn't punch.

    Unknown: He's a toy!

    Natty Bumpercar: What do you mean he's a toy? Why would he punch?

    Unknown: No, he's just a toy.

    Natty Bumpercar: But it doesn't sound very nice, is what I was… Why would a toy punch? It sounds like a mean toy?

    Unknown: No, it's only a toy, because it doesn't punch anybody. It's not walking. It only stays on the ground. It doesn't walk. It can talk, and then it can do this.

    Natty Bumpercar: So that was punching. So if I walk up to this toy, it's going to talk to me? And then it's going to punch me?

    Unknown: No. No, it's a toy!

    Natty Bumpercar: Well… Okay, so it's a toy that walks around, it talks to people, and then makes punching motions. Now, does it beat up other toys?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: No? Who does it punch, then? It can't just random punch.

    Unknown: It doesn't punch anything.

    Natty Bumpercar: Anything or anybody? No. No. Well, that seems kind of silly. That's like if I walked around all the time, all during the day, and I was just like… People are going to think I'm crazy, right?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, they are.

    Unknown: Why?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, because if I'm just punching the air for no reason, especially if I'm walking around… But can you do it? Do what? Scream! No, don't scream. Screaming hurts the people's ears.

    Unknown: Okay, okay, okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, there was another toy that you saw right before that, that you said you absolutely have to have. Which toy was that?

    Unknown: Smashing the blocks down. With the big boat over there. It has a big ball, little big ball. It can punch.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, this punches too? No, it… What are all these toys punching for?

    Unknown: Um, it's a rolling thing and an open mouth and then it can spin.

    Natty Bumpercar: It spins? So, but is there punching involved with the spinning?

    Unknown: No, um…

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you seem to love punching.

    Unknown: It's a key and then a little big thing, like the buoy. It's a leg. It's like a buoy.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's like a buoy, okay, yeah.

    Unknown: It's like a round ball, but it gets all the blocks down like this.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, so it's like a wrecking ball. That's what that's called. And so you have like little blocks and buildings and then it knocks them down.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: So it doesn't punch anything at all.

    Unknown: But it's black. Um, it's not really black because it has holes.

    Natty Bumpercar: The blocks have holes in them?

    Unknown: Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: And you said it has a mouth. Does the mouth open?

    Unknown: Yeah. What does it say? It says, and then it spins around and then knocks all the towers.

    Natty Bumpercar: So wait, so who has to set all those towers up?

    Unknown: Us!

    Natty Bumpercar: So wait, we have to sit there and build all the towers and then this toy just says up and spins around and knocks all the… That seems like a lot of work for me.

    Unknown: No, it has 15.

    Natty Bumpercar: It has 15? 15? All right. Well, I mean, I guess if it has 15, then that makes a lot of sense. Is it a little bit better? Maybe? No. I don't know. What's your favorite? If you had to guess what was your favorite toy, what would it be?

    Unknown: Smashing.

    Natty Bumpercar: Smashing. What toy is smashing? The car that you don't have?

    Unknown: Um, a big thing.

    Natty Bumpercar: You're so quiet. You got to be a little bit louder. You don't have to yell.

    Unknown: Um, it has to be bigger and it has little round squares. And then when it… It has to talk when it spins and then it opens its mouth and then it spins around the block and then it gets the tower down.

    Natty Bumpercar: Real quick, last question. What do you want to be for Halloween?

    Unknown: Um… Like Caillou. Like the fur and the monster head and the silly glasses.

    Natty Bumpercar: That sounds phenomenal. Sounds like we're going to have a crazy weekend. We're going to have a crazy Halloween here at Bumper Podcast Headquarters. Hope you do too! Pfft! Pfft!

    Unknown: Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!

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  • Bumperpodcast #194: The comedy of failure

    Bumperpodcast #194: The comedy of failure

    Natty Bumpercar talks about a night of comedy – and the value of failing … And then, Doodle Poodle stops in for a half a moment on this week’s Bumperpodcast!

    Do you fail? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In episode 194 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar apologizes for his delayed posting schedule before diving into his experiences performing stand-up comedy at a challenging bar venue. He reflects on the art of crowd work, discussing how he had to wander table-to-table to engage an increasingly loud audience. Natty shares his philosophy about open mics and failing fearlessly, emphasizing the importance of trying new material without worrying about audience approval. Doodle Poodle makes a brief, uninvited appearance asking about bringing characters back to the show, prompting Natty to promise that friends (not just "characters") will return to future episodes.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I gotta think about the people, I gotta think about you and you're the people and I gotta think about you and that's what I'm doing right now, thinking about you.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “It's not all diamonds in this gold mine of jokes, all right, so it was fun, it was good fun.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Friends are more fun is what I say.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #comedy #stand-up #openmics #crowdwork #performing #friendship #podcastschedule

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well well well what do you know when you look up and uh you think it's one day and then it's a different day and then you realize that the day that you thought it was which it's not because you got confused was the day that you're supposed to put your podcast up the bumper podcast why didn't anybody tell me why didn't anyone come knock on my door or give me a phone call or a text or a tweet or anything you guys were probably really worried right i'm so sorry that i did that to you wow how inconsiderate of me i gotta think about the people i gotta think about you and you're the people and i gotta think about you and that's what i'm doing right now thinking about you how you doing i'm doing well thank you so much thanks for asking that's very sweet i uh i did a show last night at a bar and it's a weird room where i no one's listening to you you it's as you start speaking uh the room gets louder which is you know that's fine and so what you're kind of forced to do is almost wander around table to table with your microphone and uh you know hey i'm gonna entertain this table now table number two what are those chicken fingers i didn't little chicken side finger you know that kind of garbage and um what to see if anything like would gravitate word wise towards other things thoughts and everything so just to see if there was any kind of pattern that could be picked up i was it was really just playing with with with the words and hearing them through the microphone i've said that like six times and but there was a look of confusion and i think it's interesting at open mics and stuff uh where you know like this is all comedy stuff okay that's fine uh no but sometimes people feel like you know they got they go into a room and you want to i want to do good i want to i want you guys to love me i want you guys but i think that at a point that becomes counter uh productive because once you know what your jokes sound like and you know how they go together and you've said them 150 000 times or whatever and you go to a room and you know it's not bad to fail i know i fail all the time so i i think it's it's you have to what you do is you go out you try stuff if it works it works if it doesn't work great and then you take from that experience uh the knowledge that okay this stuff doesn't quite work this stuff does and you you know a lot of times what people do will be like hey these aren't all gold here people or whatever they say or sometimes they'll be like you know uh all right this one's no sorry about that and then they say it's not all diamonds in this it's gold mine of they're not all diamonds in this gold mine of jokes all right so it was fun it was good fun uh it used to be that you would have shows like that and you'd be like what am i doing with my life why am i driving to these places and doing these shows and what's the point of them and why i'm just i want to sit at home on the couch and eat ice cream or whatever people do but no man you're on a mic or you have the privilege of talking at a bar random bar to random people and saying things that's amazing right holy cano holy cannoli get away doodle poodle no i'm serious you're not supposed to be on the podcast today but i thought you were gonna start

    Doodle Poodle: uh bringing characters back on the show and stuff and i now we're gonna talk about tomorrow

    Natty Bumpercar: no we're not gonna talk about drawing and yes we are gonna bring people back on the show

    Doodle Poodle: eventually oh okay today no not today what about today no i just said not today oh okay so it's gonna be uh today dude go go outside okay no just go outside right now

    Natty Bumpercar: all right that was doodle poodle yeah so we are gonna bring characters back because not characters we're gonna be our friends back let's be honest i think when you say characters it's a little bit demeaning because it's just me all the time and that's great and fun and everything but it's not as much fun as when you know because friends are more fun is what i say

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  • Bumperpodcast # 160 – Try, try some more

    Bumperpodcast # 160 – Try, try some more

    Here in Headquarters, everyone is lost and running into walls and spinning around in circles … We make an attempt to jump headfirst back into the waters and end up with a giant bonk on our nose.

    Again, we have a guest host and bedlam and chaos and a bunch of sillies.

    How do you feel about bedlam? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    There is chaos all around!

    The Bumperpodcast is a free weekly comedy podcast with squeaky clean laughs and jumbles!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar is absent and Rufus T. Rufus attempts to host with an unusual helper – a young child who isn't particularly interested in cooperating. The little guest repeatedly asks for various characters including "daddy bumper car" and Aloysious J. Pig, while refusing to talk on air. Producer tries to maintain order as Rufus struggles with the challenging co-host situation. When Pig finally arrives, he breaks down the podcast's quality into negative numbers before the young helper goes silent again. This episode showcases the unpredictable and improvisational nature of Bumperpodcast at its most delightfully disastrous.

    Memorable Quotes

    “It's like a broken window that's getting broken up even more.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I remember when this podcast had absolutely nothing going for it, and now it's got even less. Somehow it went from zero to negative zero.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Hey, you guys are not doing a very good…”

    — Producer

    Topics: #chaos #guestappearance #children #hosting #improvisation #behindthescenes #numbers #comedy

    Featuring: Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig

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