Tag: future

Bumperpodcast #389 – Season 2 – What Happened?

Natty wakes up and is very confused. Then, he offends a ‘not a rock’, then a little dude plays a song. It’s all so confusing. He doesn’t even have a toothbrush …

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

About This Episode

In this surreal episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar finds himself mysteriously transported to a strange, post-apocalyptic world with red skies, no familiar landmarks, and dust everywhere. He encounters a cryptic character named Houdet (Doodle Poodle) who warns him to run while singing a catchy but incomprehensible song. Natty also meets Rocky, a sentient being he mistakenly picks up thinking it's a rock, leading to an awkward conversation about identity and survival. As warnings about the ominous "Mr. Mayonnaise" grow more urgent and people apparently hide underground, Natty must decide whether to stay put or search for safety in this bizarre new reality.

Memorable Quotes

“I don't have a jacket I don't have a toothbrush which is very important dental hygiene is very important I was supposed to have a dentist appointment today”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I ain't no rock I'm a living being a living creature you on the other hand are a mythical beast”
— Rocky

“I know less now than I did earlier when I didn't know anything. I know less than anything right now.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #sciencefiction #paralleluniverse #survival #mystery #confusion #post-apocalyptic #mr.mayonnaise

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: I don't even where am I what is happening what year is it why is nothing look familiar I hey everybody I mean I'm talking to myself here this is Natty bumper car and I I don't know where I am this is very weird there's dust everywhere a lot of broken stuff I was going to record a podcast but there's no studio there's no headquarters there's no pig there's no Aloysius oh that's that's a pig there's no Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle there's nobody hello hello all right man I was gonna have a podcast and catch everybody up on on on everything that's been going on but there's no everybody so there's no everything going on like who are you

Doodle Poodle: everybody gotta run before the moon pops before the night comes and if you ever

Natty Bumpercar: um I don't I don't know what just happened um I know I just over modulated which freaks me out um I was here confused and then this little dude thing I don't know creature ran up and then that music started and I'm trying to think what he was saying I heard him say run everybody everybody's got a run I don't know what if there's something I should be afraid of I'm looking around he also trying to remember it's something something story to tell and then things didn't go well and I don't know what the middle words were mysterious turn tyrannical like a terrain tyrannicus tyrannical sores wrecked no okay and then run and then get away and then he ran so I don't even I don't I don't know what's happening hi everybody we're three minutes or so into me being very confused there was a big blue light and now I'm here and there's nobody else except for that little guy I think I don't even I don't even know if it was a guy it was like a kind of robot ish I don't know I guess there's still no comedy shows in the in wherever I am doesn't look like there's any food ha no shelter huh very strange I've got a lot of strange things happening on the bumper podcast and I have to say this is one of the stranger ones looking up at the sky it's kind of red not blue looking around not seeing any real plant life this is not good not good at all I don't have a jacket I don't have a toothbrush which is very important dental hygiene is very important I was supposed to have a dentist appointment today or I was gonna record a podcast and then I was gonna have a dentist appointment but I'm assuming that I missed that because there's no dentist around here a little guy had a really catchy beat like I loved it I hope that I can hear that song again at some point said something about the moon moon pops when the moon pops when Sun I don't know anyway I I'm just standing here talking into a rock at this point hey mister yes hey hey mister can you put me down I'm sorry talking rock that I picked you up because I thought you were a rock I ain't no rock I'm a living being a living creature you on the other hand are a mythical beast what a beast a beast I tell you okay stop saying beast I'm just a person I'm just a bumper car a natty bumper car no maybe you've heard of have not you haven't heard of me heard of you at all but I know that you can't just walk around and pick people up sorry okay true well very rude sorry I guess I am being kind of rude what what is your people call me lucky that's hardly fair people call you Rocky I thought you were a rock my name does not determine what or who I am that's valid okay I mean I'm not a bumper car so you're not a rock rocky cool but you said that people call you Rocky where are these people and there's other people are hiding they're hiding everything that is everything happened and they had to go underground as it work they might come back come back like here like they might come back here like something Sal�� here i i don't think i belong here i think i'm from somewhere else and i don't know how i got here but there was this other little dude who was here who sang a song and something about he said to run i mean he he was who did something something do who day you met who day his name is who day and his name is who day you gotta be listening to him because he knows things that are happening well everywhere that's good to know uh i'll definitely listen to him if he ever comes back his uh song was very catchy uh the words were kind of hard to hear if i'm to be completely honest i'm not being a critic here um but you know maybe easier ways to deliver information write me a note stick a sticky whatever an email that doesn't exist probably uh none just talk you could just talk to me like you're doing we're having a conversation you're having a conversation i'm still mad because you picked me up and you call me a rot but not a rot okay i'm sorry again and i did apologize quite profusely i'm i don't know where i am i don't know anything that's happening the sky is red there's no buildings there's no grass there's no again toothbrush i missed a dentist appointment which means i'm gonna have to pay because i didn't cancel it so they still right they're gonna make me pay which i don't like to pay extra and i don't know where i am and i'm scared i'm honestly i'm pretty scared here comes who day oh oh he's back he's getting closer okay i'm gonna try to figure out what he's saying who's mr mayonnaise oh please mr mayonnaise okay you're saying his name oh story okay he's scared

Doodle Poodle: oh okay

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I heard him say Mr. Mayonnaise. Like, oh, please, oh, please. Okay, so now I'm even more scared, and we should, can we hide? Do you know of a place we can hide? You said there were other people somewhere underground. I'm gone. I'm leaving. Zip. Rocky? He just ran away. He just zipped, and then he was gone. Oh, boy. Okay, so Rocky, Houdet. Mr. Mayonnaise. People underground. Um, I'm, I don't, I know less, I feel, now than I did earlier when I didn't know anything. I know less than anything right now. Huh. Um, what are you supposed to do when you're lost? What are you supposed to, oh, I'm going to sit down right here because I've always been told, that if you get lost somewhere, that you're supposed to just sit in that spot. Like, and maybe the people that you got lost from are going to come and find you in that spot. I guess. Or, you know, I could also walk around and look for someplace safe and someplace where I can hide, and maybe that's a good idea, too, because I don't really want to meet someone named Mr. Mayonnaise. Not today. Not today! Not today!

Producer: Please, share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com. Thanks for listening. If you're interested in learning more, visit us at www.nondashproductive.com. Thank you so much for listening.

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February 11, 2021
Bumperpodcast #388 – Season 2

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A future version of Natty appears and sends the crew into a real mystery. What is the ‘everything that happened before everything happened’? Is Doodle Poodle a seer of the future? And – what is that odd smell?? Stay tuned as we dig in to the what not!

The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

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Bumperpodcast #388 Season 2

Well we would. What year is this place. What decade. I don’t i don’t. I’m very confused right now. Don’t understand what’s happening very leery. Everything is going very blurry who hi. I’m Aloysius j. pig who you haven’t seen you in a lifetime. It’s been so very very long. Wait a minute. I you Natty bubbas. It’s me. I don osteen yelich show show old in your voice. Sounds on your friend and you kind of smell ovid funding and what. I always just. I was sitting in a cave. The bright lad flashed. I was here. i don’t recognize this place. I recognized you. Of course. But i don’t know when i am old. Okay so when you is is twenty. Twenty twenty twenty one twenty. What twenty twenty one. Twenty two hundred twenty one years you. You’re we’re still in age or accounting the us in one by one. Yeah ervin’s of course we were gonna count the as i don’t mean no same. Come from we count. The is based on quadra dramatic equation variable relations still understand with that we sell a bunch of gibberish and it sounded like you took the biggest words pop the squish them altogether to nine. Now you count us one by one. It’s like twenty twenty twenty twenty one twenty two twenty three tetra. I twenty five twenty four. I don’t know but you know what i’m saying. Like one zero one two one two one. That’s one two one two one two. Guess you talking in code now. Have we every crossed that rubicon talking in code. Now now i ain’t never cross no rubicon that is I always just counted awaited. I count one two one toe. One two set a fine foods. Twenty twenty one. Do you want some water. You have water stills his grasp we got one oh tweet from to sink from the test refrigerator still refrigeration and water in this time wonderful wonderful. I think i’ve i’ve made it back to where. I’m supposed to be back to where i can fix everything before. Everything happens. everything everything happened in. I ain’t understand skew them everybody. It’s myself and myself and myself. Mr rufus t rufus in charge and large and in the room. And say hello to you real soon. So i’m wondering Aloysius j. pig lou. Who just man is right over here. Who is he and why is he in here. What is he talking about fixing any way in any who and how rufus it’s me it’s not a bumper the future. I suppose i’ve been told. I was in a cave cave. There was a very bright light. And i can’t breathe just talking to me. You have your own lawyer representation. Your lawyer from the future of hasn’t were because he can’t just come in here and start spouting and giving me words and spinning yong’s and tell them stories because all of this can be used as a court of law. You understand sir after understand that you all my lawyer you were my lawyer before everything happened and then everything happened. you understand. You guided me up until you’re very very end. What are you saying. Rufus rufus t rufus went to someway. I heard that as well. And i’m back in a way little bit here because i sounded a little bit like a threat that sounded a little bit aggressive. If you will. And i of course don’t appreciate a man such a jew telling me anything about all as it were and i think it’s all rufus you know. It’s it’s wonderful to hear your jibber-jabber. It’s been so long it’s been so lonely. I’ve been by myself for a long time with nothing. No one to speak to know under speak of.

It’s been very difficult like it was very difficult. So when you say no one does that. Include like no peixe. What are we talking about. Pig pig to be found neria pig to be heard. It was the worst times now does sound pretty to church it. I’m getting a little uncomfortable. Telling me a little bit more about this cave in which you were was. It’s a regulated caves. Should you have been with. A handrails. Was at slipper. It’s all was the any kind of batson thing and vermins. When i’m asking any kind of dangerous issue because we might be able to build this up into aches against the caves it’d be not a bumper gop Guided by rufus st rufus versus caves. A cave. money goes real sand could be a real windfall for us. My friend rufus i understand and i appreciate your trying to toe the line in and find your loyally lawyer loyally in this as you do. You’re an expert at all of these things i declared. The players is much larger than litigation against holes in the ground. This is something much larger than all of us. This is everything that happened. And then everything that food house on a confusion. A lot of talk about kiva. If maybe i could make some drawings piece of your shins and then we could figure out exactly what happened. Maybe some hampshire’s nice okay. yes. I don’t know how to pursue i’m flummoxed i i’m fading i need some rest. I haven’t talked many many many times. Okay so i mean we can give you some place to rest until we figure this stuff out of course but i think you’re gonna wanna take a shower because you also it’s i’m this is coming from a pig. I am pig aloe issues. Of course i’m going to say it’s it smells like you. Also having bathed in many a time time at times as potentially possible. We have no water to sip. We have no water to drink rehab at all. So there’s the only way we are able to bay this much like a baby where we find a nice dry patch and we just powder all cells down with it and so if just hopes to keep the flies off. There’s a lot of flies or i come from. And it helps to keep us protected from some of the things that are out there now. This is a lot of vagaries. You’re putting out the everything that happened with everything. The things that out there. That has a cave blue line. We don’t know anything about anything. Big wiz Natty Bumpercar again. My friend alex com name. I have not heard in a long time spoken allow. Yeah we understand. Grandpa the whatever we’re gonna say future bumper car or whatever dystopia in bumper car bumper car from the in time i dunno Bumpercar after the everything is everything. That’s we got it. I think roe v is asking way than Natty familiar with is is currently aims precisely correct alloway says thank you sir for stepping in good clarifying and quantifying and explaining what i was trying to think if we can get natty over here maybe this dog can make some drawings as he does and can we can introduce track to can bring him on understand. The space time continuum willocks for in the same room together. We can’t see we can’t be near each other. It’s just a possible. Can you talk on the phone to send a letter what we’re trying to. We’re playing this by all right. Adorable little pig is and we’re trying to figure it out and you’re not super helping on if i’m to be honest from the be real. I saw harry.

Why you’re talking. Nice look looks like you did an excellent. this is a wonderful i. i wasn’t bad but to me. I expert as it. Tears looked like a cave to me. Blue light right. That’s one of this dog drool. This out wasn’t there. He’s he’s captured the moment perfectly. This dog is some sort of a into the future. I’ve come from. We have to work. We have to figure this out. We have to solve this mystery and ladies and gentlemen. I think that’s why it makes sense to call this. The official start of season to- of the bumper pod cased three hundred eighty eight episodes in the making. What is the everything that happened. After everything happened what is future pump whereas regular bumper doro portal into the future and win. Am i going to get some lunch very very hunger right now. I would also like some lingerie. I haven’t eaten and yeah in a time. That’s what time we get it. We understand it’s a rough place. Came from someone is going gonna stay here and to pick me up an you know i’d love. This has been a nonproductive presentation executive producer. Frank qablawi this program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial notary but its license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it for more information visit. Non dash productive dot com.
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About This Episode

In episode 388, the Bumperpodcast launches Season 2 with a mysterious twist as a confused, older version of Natty Bumpercar emerges from a cave claiming to be from the future. Rufus T. Rufus and Aloysious J. Pig struggle to understand this disheveled time traveler who speaks of 'everything that happened' and warns that the space-time continuum will explode if he meets his present-day self. Doodle Poodle mysteriously draws an accurate picture of the cave despite never having been there, suggesting he might be a seer. The episode ends with our heroes deciding to solve this mystery while the dystopian Bumpercar desperately needs a shower and lunch.

Memorable Quotes

“We count the years based on quadradramatic, equational, variable relations.”
— Rufus T. Rufus (Future Natty)

“It smells like you also haven't bathed in many a time, a time, a time. And this is coming from a pig. I am a pig.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“Cave money goes deep. It could be a real windfall for us, my friend.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #timetravel #sciencefiction #mystery #seasonpremiere #alternatetimeline #caves #friendship #comedy

Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysious J. Pig, Doodle Poodle

Full Transcript

Rufus T. Rufus: I don't understand. Where are we? What year is it? Where is this place? What decade? I don't understand. I'm very confused right now. I don't understand what's happening. It's very bleary. Everything has gone very bleary.

Aloysious J. Pig: Hey there. Who? Hi. I'm Aloysius J. Pig. Who are you?

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, Aloysius J. Pig. I haven't seen you in a lifetime. It's been so very, very long.

Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute. Are you Natty Bubbica? Yes. It is me. I don't understand. You look so old, and your voice sounds all different, and you kind of smell a little bit funny.

Rufus T. Rufus: I don't know what's going on. Aloysius, I was sitting in a cave, and then a bright light flashed, and then all of a sudden I was here. I don't recognize this place. I recognize… You, of course, but I don't know when I am or where I am.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. So, when you is, is it 2020, 2021, 2021, 2021?

Rufus T. Rufus: 2021. So we're still in an age where we're counting the years one by one.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Of course we are. How else are we going to count the years? I don't mean no sense.

Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I come from… We count the years based on quadradramatic, equational, variable relations. I do understand what that means.

Aloysious J. Pig: That was all a bunch of gibberish. It sounded like you took the biggest words that popped into your head, and you squished them all together. No, no. You count years one by one. It's like 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, etc. That's just 25. 25. 24. I don't know, but you know what I'm saying. No. It's just like one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two.

Rufus T. Rufus: It's one-two, one-two, one-two, and you're talking in code now. Have we crossed that Rubicon, and we're all talking in code now?

Aloysious J. Pig: No. No. I ain't never crossed no Rubicon. I don't know what that is, even. I was just counting the way that I count. One-two, one-two, one-two, etc.

Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, okay. Oh, fine, fine. So it's 2021.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Do you want some, uh, water? Oh! What? You have water still in this time. You sounded raspy. I was… I'm very… Yeah, of course we got water. No! We got it from the sink, from the tap. The sink?

Rufus T. Rufus: Or from the refrigerator. You still have refrigeration and water in this time. Wonderful. Wonderful. I think I've made it back to where I'm supposed to be. Back to where I was. Back to where I'm supposed to be. Back to where I can fix everything before… What do you mean?

Aloysious J. Pig: Everything happens. What is everything and everything happening? I… I ain't understand.

Rufus T. Rufus: Now, excuse me, everybody. Uh, it's, uh, myself and myself and myself, Mr. Rufus T. Rufus in charge and large and in the room and saying hello to you real soon. Hello. So, I'm wondering, Aloysius J. Pigaloo, who this man is right over here. Rufus. Who is he and why is he in here and what is he talking about fixing anyway and any who and any how? Rufus, it's, it's, it's, it's me. It's Natty Bumpercar from the future, I suppose, is what I've been told. I was in a cave. You see, I was in a cave and there was a very bright light and I… He can't be just talking to me. Do you have your own lawyer representation? Your lawyer from the future, as it were? Because he can't just come in here and start… Spouting off and giving me words and spinning yarns and telling stories because all of this can be used in a court of law, you understand, sir? You have to understand that you are my lawyer. You, you, you were my lawyer before everything happened and then everything happened. You understand? You guided me up until your very end.

Aloysious J. Pig: His very end? What are you saying? Rufus. Rufus, Rufus T. Rufus went away somewhere?

Rufus T. Rufus: No, I heard that as well, Aloysius, and I'm backing away a little bit here because I sounded a little bit like a threat. It sounded a little bit aggressive, if you will, and I, of course, don't appreciate a man such as you telling me anything about anything or, as it were, anything at all. Rufus, you, you don't know, it's, it's wonderful to hear your jibber-jerk. It's been so long. I've been so lonely. I've been by myself for a long time with nothing, no one to speak to, no one to speak of. It's been very difficult.

Aloysious J. Pig: Sounds like it was very difficult. So when you say no one, does that include, like, no pigs? No. What are we talking about here?

Rufus T. Rufus: Nary a pig to be seen. Nary a pig to be found. Nary a pig to be heard. It was the worst of times. Now, it does sound pretty tragic, and I'm getting a little bit uncomfortable, so tell me a little bit more about this cave in which you were. Was it a regulated cave? Should you have been with the handrails? Was it slippery at all? Was there any kind of bats or anything, any vermin is what I'm asking, any kind of dangerous issue? Because we might be able to build this up into a cave. We might be able to build this up into a case against the caves. It'd be Natty Bumper Cop, guided by Rufus T. Rufus, versus caves. No. Cave money goes deep. Rufus. It could be a real windfall for us, my friend. Rufus, I understand and I appreciate you trying to toe the line and find your loyally, loyally, loyally angle in this as you do. You're an expert at all of these things. I declare, I do declare. Of course. This is much larger than litigation against holes in the ground. This is something much larger than all of us. This is everything that happened and then everything that happened.

Doodle Poodle: Um, hey everybody, it's me, Doodle Poodle. Hello. I was hearing a lot of confusion and a lot of talk about caves. And I was wondering if maybe I could make some drawings based off of your descriptions. And then we could figure out exactly what happened. And then maybe that could give us some answers.

Rufus T. Rufus: And then I… Doodle Poodle, you're still here?

Doodle Poodle: Yeah.

Rufus T. Rufus: Okay. Yes. I don't know how to proceed. I'm flummoxed. I'm fading. I need some rest. I haven't slept in many, many, many times. Okay. So, I mean, we can give you some place to rest until we figure this stuff out, of course. But I think first you're going to want to take a shower because you also, it's, and I'm, this is coming from a pig.

Aloysious J. Pig: I am a pig. Aloysius, of course. I'm going to say it's, it's, it smells like you also haven't bathed in many a time, a time, a time. Is this, is this potentially possible? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Is this possibly possible?

Rufus T. Rufus: We have no water to sip. We have no water to drink. We have no water at all. So there is the only way we are able to bathe is much like a baby bird where we find a nice dry patch and we just powder ourselves down with it. And so it just helps to keep the flies off. There's a lot of flies where I come from. And it helps. It helps to keep us protected from some of the things that are out there. Now this is a lot of vagaries that you're putting out. Everything that happened with the everything, the things that are out there. There's a cave. There's a blue light. We don't know anything about anything. Pig, where's Natty Bumpercar? Again, my friend, I am Natty Bumpercar. It's a name I have not heard before. I have not heard in a long time spoken aloud, though.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, we understand, Grandpa, that you're whatever. We're going to say future Bumpercar or whatever, dystopian Bumpercar, Bumpercar from the end time. I don't know. Bumpercar after the everything is everything. That's, we got it. I think Rufus is asking where the Natty that we're more familiar with is currently at.

Rufus T. Rufus: Precisely correct, Aloysius. Thank you, sir, for stepping in. Thank you. And clarifying and quantifying and, you know, explaining what I was trying to do. I think if we could get Natty over here, maybe this dog can make some drawings as he does. And Natty can, we can introduce him. No. And we can try to. You can't bring him here. Don't you understand? The space time continuum will explode if we're in the same room together. We can't see each other. We can't be near each other. But. It's just impossible.

Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. Can you talk on the phone or send a letter? I don't know. I mean, we're trying to figure, we're playing this by ear. All right. Adorable little pig ears. And we're trying to figure it out. And you're not super helping on, if I'm to be honest, if I'm to be real. So. Hey, everybody.

Doodle Poodle: While you're all talking, I drew this nice little doodle of what maybe the cave looks like. And I don't know. Did I do a good job?

Rufus T. Rufus: You did an excellent, this is a wonderful cave drawing. I mean, I wasn't there, but to me, to my eye, expert as it tears, it looked like a cave to me. So with the blue, I see the blue light right there. That's wonderful. How did this dog draw this? It's, he wasn't there. He's, he's captured the moment perfectly. This dog is some sort of a seer into the future where I've come from. We have to work. We have to figure this out.

Aloysious J. Pig: We have to solve this mystery. And ladies and gentlemen, I think that's why it makes sense to call this the official start of season two of the bumper podcast, 388 episodes in the making. What is the everything that happened after everything happened? What is future bumper car? And where's our regular bumper car?

Rufus T. Rufus: Is doodle poodle really a seer into the future? And when am I going to get some lunch? I'm very, very hungry right now.

Aloysious J. Pig: I would also like some lunch. I haven't eaten in. Yeah. In a time that for a time that we get it. We understand. It's a rough place where you came from. We'll get you some lunch.

Doodle Poodle: I'm just going to stay here and doodle. But if you're going to pick me up a banana, you know, I'd love one.

Unknown: Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt.

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January 21, 2021
Bumperpodcast 203: What is it?!

Natty Bumpercar keeps it simple today on the Bumperpodcast – with an explainer. Then, he talks about an open-mic that he went to.

What is it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar kicks off 2015 with episode 203 of Bumperpodcast, offering listeners a meta look at what the show is all about. After visitors from the future crashed last week's year-end wrap-up, Natty uses this episode to explain the podcast's format and philosophy. He discusses the rotating cast of puppet characters including Pig, Doodle Poodle, and Robot, shares insights from a recent comedy open mic performance, and reflects on the improvisational nature of both stand-up comedy and the podcast itself. It's a lighthearted, stream-of-consciousness episode that perfectly captures the show's spontaneous spirit and Natty's comedic approach to making listeners' weeks "awesomer."

Memorable Quotes

“For breakfast I did have a couple balloons so I'm trying to keep light for this year. The helium from the balloon makes me lighter.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“That's what the bumper podcast is about, just putting as much stuff out there as you can and hoping that you enjoy it and hoping it makes your day awesome and your week awesomer.”

— Natty Bumpercar

“Ladies and gentlemen tonight at the restaurant we'll be having a fine pairing of cheese and crackers for you and some huawei which is what we call water around here.”

— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #comedy #podcastintroduction #improvisation #openmic #newyear #stand-upcomedy #metacommentary

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: it goes a one it goes a two it goes a one two three four like i mean that's how you count that's how it goes hey everybody it's me your best pal and the whole town of coffee can alley uh netty bumper car uh why is my voice so high today i don't know you know for breakfast i did have a couple balloons so uh i'm trying to keep light for this year the helium from the balloon makes me lighter no um welcome to this show this is the bumper podcast it's the year two thousand one five and this is the first show of the year uh we did of course do our year-end wrap-up last week which didn't work out quite as i expected because i had a visitor from the future actually two visitors from the future uh one was me from the future the other was of course big from the future um so what i wanted to do was use this episode as kind of an explainer an explanation of what is the bumper podcast because a lot of times people say uh you know uh why do you do that show why do you do that every week what is it why do you why you know why should i listen to that what is it why do you do that every week why do you do that every week why do you do it as always they always end whatever question they're asking they always end with uh kind of an angry uh what is it what is it like that and uh well you know it's a podcast it's the bumper podcast uh by by myself natty bumper car recorded here in headquarters um and sometimes a cavalcade of pals will come by we got uh we have uh pig of course you you know him from you can find that at natty bumper car uh there's a doodle poodle uh he's got a twitter account i don't know what it is i can't fathom what it would be it's probably at doodle poodle if i was to guess uh robot comes by he he also has a twitter i think it's awesome robot maybe at awesome robot you can find all these things if you just go to uh at natty bumper car uh and and and so here in headquarters who else we have sometimes some of the kids stop by uh we have two of those and they'll come and they'll say strange inane things into the microphone which is not very different from what i say into the microphone so it works out well it's a good uh pairing kind of like a fine cheese and whatever you eat with fine cracker and a fine cracker ladies and gentlemen tonight at the restaurant we'll be having a fine pairing of cheese and crackers for you and some huawei which is what we call water around here uh is it a funny podcast i don't know you know sometimes it is sometimes it ain't uh last night i i had an open mic which is what you do you go for comedy you go to these rooms and it's open mic anybody can just put your name down and come up and tell some jokes and so i did that and uh because you gotta otherwise you get rusty and that's the weird thing with comedy is you get rusty fast you haven't done it in a week that's too long get get back on stage and you know you gotta you gotta you gotta work work the instrument is is not what i want to say you gotta you gotta you gotta be good that's i don't know what i'm trying to say you gotta work out a little bit you know you gotta stretch the old muscles and say the old words and put them all together and say what happens so i i i went up uh with a blank piece of paper i didn't really know what i wanted to do so much it had been the holidays and a couple weeks had gone by and here's what happened is i was excited to be there and then i got you know you're there and it's hours are going by and you're having fun you're laughing whatever you're enjoying the night and then it's your turn and you're like oh wait i gotta go up there and talk and there was no structure uh it was just it was like this avalanche of of uh premises and uh semi-formed things just exploded out of me and uh you know it was fun it was fine you got because the things get in your head and then they all have to get out of your head and you see what what happens and what happened last night was a lot of words were crossed out on a piece of paper and and that's what the bumper podcast is about just putting as much stuff out there as you can and you're like oh my god i don't know what there as we can and hoping that you enjoy it and hoping it makes your day awesome and your week awesomer

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January 7, 2015
Bumperpodcast 202: The future (Happy New Year!)

Happy New Year from the Bumperpodcast! It’s our big year end wrap-up with a healthy dash of – the future!

Do you like the future? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Listen here (Soundcloud | Stitcher | iTunes)

About This Episode

In this year-end episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar attempts to record a big closeout wrap-up for the year, but his plans are derailed when he's visited by an unexpected guest: himself from the future. Future Natty arrives with confusing explanations about time being like string (or yarn), cryptic references to prom, and claims that Natty becomes much happier in the future. The conversation gets increasingly chaotic as the two Nattys bicker about speech impediments, string theory, and whether the Bumperpodcast becomes the most popular show in the world. Just when things couldn't get more absurd, Future Pig arrives to compound the confusion, much to present-day Natty's dismay.

Memorable Quotes

“In the future, you're happy all the time. You're never upset at anything. In fact, your middle name is Rainbows and Sunshine Bumpercar.”

— Future Natty Bumpercar

“Do I also get a weird speech impediment in the future? Do I say things that don't make sense?”

— Natty Bumpercar

“This is the best thing ever. You're alive. It's me. You're still friends with me in the future, Natty Bumper Cars.”

— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #timetravel #yearend #future #stringtheory #metahumor #fourthwall #friendship

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: What's going on Bumper Podcast? It's me, Natty Bumpercar, and this is our big year-end clearance sale event of the century. No, it's not. We don't have, we don't, we're not selling anything. We're not, we don't have anything. Uh, we're not selling anything, but it is our big year-end closeout. Like, this is our big last day of the year wrap-up. We go over everything that… Hello, Natty Bumpercar. What in the hoot, Natty? Oh, hi. It's, well, it's me. Who? It's, it's Natty Bumpercar from the future. Oh, no. Why are you here? Where we, well, where we like to extend our words really long for emphasis. That's a terrible thing to do. Yeah, it's kind of a future thing that we do. You don't understand yet, but you will one day, I promise. Okay, well, that's awesome that you're here, I guess, but why are you here today? We really, it's not the type of show where we introduce new characters or we do new bits or anything like that. It's kind of just a big year-end wrap-up. Well, of course you would wonder why I'm here on this very day. Of course. Very portentous, important. You talk a lot. Did you lose what you were going to say? Yeah, I, yeah, I, okay, I did mess that up. Try again. Well, just because I'm from the future doesn't always mean I know what I'm going to say. Oh, okay. That's not how it works. I mean, I'm just you from another time. Yeah. I don't, I don't know things that, I mean, like, I guess I know some things that you don't know, but for the most part, I don't. Well, I mean, I would hope that you would know a lot more than I know. I mean, like, you're from the future, so in theory, that means that you've lived a lot longer. You've, I mean, you've… Lived through a lot more stuff than I've lived through, which means… Yeah. That you would… No, no, you're wrong. You're wrong there. Know more things than I do. Is that, is that right, or… Not correct. Not correct at all, sir. Let's look at it this way, if you will. Time is a lot like a piece of string. Really? You're doing string theory? Oh, you've heard that. Okay. We've heard of string. Time is like a piece of, um, yarn. Okay, yarn is just string. We have, yes, we have… You have yarn now? Yes, we do. In this time? Yes. Okay. Of course. So that, that, okay, yeah, right. It's the same thing. It's the same exact string and yarn are the same thing, so you're not doing anything futuristic. You're not adding anything. All you're doing is stepping on the episode. This is our big year-end closeout wrap-up. Yeah, I know. Let everybody know what's going on. Set the plate for the new big year that's coming up. And you're talking about yarn, and I don't understand why you are bothering me today. Wow, I really forgot how crabby you are in the past. In the future, you're happy all the time. You're never upset at anything. Oh, come on. In fact, your middle name is Rainbows and Sunshine Bumpercar. Did you just say sunshine? Sunshine isn't even a word. That's nothing. Do I also get a weird speech impediment in the future? Do I say things that don't make sense? Oh, come on. Oh, what's the weather like today? Is it going to be rainy or is there going to be a lot of sunshine? That's not nice, and it's not even necessary. Come on. It was a slip of the tongue. You know, let's do this. Do you remember when you were going to prom and you said something silly? Okay. Have you had that yet? Yes, I've had that. It was a long time ago that I went to prom, and I don't remember saying anything silly. I more remember that everything that I said was silly back then, and if you were more specific, you could have said, hey, remember that thing that you said that wasn't silly? And then I would have been like, oh, yeah, that one really sticks out in my mind. Okay, you know what? We're done with this back and forth thing. Tell me why you're here right now, real quick. Let's go, because I've got other things to handle. I've got business to handle. I've got things to do. Of course you do. You always have things to do because you're so busy. Did you know that in the future, the Bumper Podcast is actually listened to by every single person in the entire world? Wait, what's happening? What is this? What's happening right now?

Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, everybody, it's me, Future Pig.

Natty Bumpercar: This is, I'm truly sorry about this, Natty Bumper Cars. What? It's Future Pig. I quit. Hey, this is so…

Aloysious J. Pig: This is the best thing ever. You're alive. It's me. You're still friends with me in the future, Natty Bumper Cars.

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December 31, 2014