Tag: friendship

Bumperpodcast #459 – Season 3 – Zeitgeist

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Aloysius explains a phenomenal new idea for the podcast – you can’t wait to hear it!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, and Producer spontaneously break into an improvised song that quickly devolves into comedic chaos. The crew discusses trying group therapy to reduce their on-air fighting, but the conversation takes an unexpected turn when Rufus reveals he's gotten caught up in a suspicious mobile game. After accidentally giving away his credit card information to a game about planetary princesses, Rufus has moved on to a communication-based social experiment game where he plays as "Kool Cat" (spelled K-U-L-K-A-T). The episode hilariously escalates as Rufus explains the game's bizarre mechanics—starting with just blinking and sighing, then graduating to simple emotional lines—and concludes with the shocking revelation that he believes he's fallen in love within this strange digital world.

Memorable Quotes

“I think it's okay to have fun and for it not to be perfect. And if it's a little silly, or if you make mistakes, because that's kind of how you learn, is by doing.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I gave up my sandwich for this? I could have stayed over in the kitchen, is what I'm saying.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“The big news here, everybody is in this game, this communication games. Well, I think that I have fallen in love.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

Topics: #improvisedmusic #friendship #onlinegames #scams #therapy #communication #socialmedia #identity

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: oh no oh is it happening i'm not sure hey aloysius yeah get on over here what is this

Aloysious J. Pig: it sounds like a song yeah i'm rolling rolling rolling everybody knows i'm rolling rolling i'm a ball i'm a ball i'm up on the hill and i'm rolling go hey paul are you a chicken i think

Natty Bumpercar: that you're a chicken everybody knows that i love little chicken hey everybody slow everybody just

Rufus T. Rufus: think this song could be great if you don't say stupid stuff um no you're in my head and i don't

Doodle Poodle: know what to say i love the music and i love the beat but i don't know what to say i agree this was

Natty Bumpercar: fun but then all of a sudden there's rules and stuff and i don't know what i'm supposed to do and i don't know what i'm supposed to say is this dumb i feel like this is dumb am i being dumb right now yeah

Rufus T. Rufus: okay if you gotta ask then you're probably being dumb if you gotta ask this you know the song is done how about that producer shut it down now wow you know that was that was fun we haven't done a little song like that in a long time so i understand we're a little bit out of practice but honestly uh producer that the the the the the the beats the jams the rhythm it was all so much fun i was i was astounded by it great job yeah no i heard uh i was i was a little bit out of my mind I was over in the kitchen, right? I was going to make myself a little sound. And I heard a calamity over here, the ruckus, if you will, the music. And I said to myself, I'm going to hold off on this sandwich and go see what everybody's up to over in the studio. And I came over, and y'all looked so happy, smiling, and your head's bopping to the beat. And then I stopped listening to the words, what you're saying, and I said, I gave up my sandwich for this? This is what I can't, I could have stayed over in the kitchen, is what I'm saying. Yeah, well, again, I was having fun.

Natty Bumpercar: I think it's okay to have fun and for it not to be perfect. And if it's a little silly, or if you make mistakes, because that's kind of how you learn, is by doing. And we haven't done a song in so long.

Rufus T. Rufus: And then right when we came in, I heard the music, and I was like, this, let's, you know, I didn't expect it, and I didn't know it was going to happen, but was I excited? Yes, very. And was I ready? Not so much. I don't even have my rhyme book. You guys, if I'm to be honest, I don't even, I didn't bring it in today. You know, I brought these receipts. I brought, this seems to be a candy wrapper. This is a napkin. I just, I have garbage. I have garbage in my pocket here, but I don't have my rhymes. So, you know, I just kind of went with it, and I don't know. Now, Natty? This is, I hear you. This is all valid. I appreciate you.

Producer: Um. Yeah, it's really, you guys are doing great with the therapy, right? We're doing group therapy, and so sometimes we all get together, and we talk, you know? And so we were trying to figure out how to not fight on the podcast as much, and we, so we, so now what we're going to do is we're going to bring in another person, a third party, and talk to them about it so that we could kind of, you know, stop, again, fighting on the podcast.

Rufus T. Rufus: Wait, you guys actually did that? I thought that was a joke. I thought, I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw the message come across, you know, but what happens with me is, on my devices, you know, I'll be there playing the games with the, you know, it's like a, I don't know, some sort of word game, but there's like little animals, and there's like, you have to do, it's a fun game. They say it tests your mind. It brings elasticity to your brain, and so I was sitting there playing, and bloop, there goes a message, right? And it said, uh, uh, uh, schedule group, uh, group therapy bumper podcast. And I, and I said, oh, well, now this is interesting. And I went to click on it, and it had already disappeared. And what happens, I clicked an, an, an advertisement, and, uh, I guess the game, uh, is, you've got these little ads, so you don't got to pay for it necessarily. And, and then all of a sudden, I'm in this space game, and it's like, you got to save the, the princess, the planet, the princess of planets or something, planets of princesses. And I said, oh, my word, you know, and I got into it, because I, I, you know, you throw me into a situation like that, and I'm going to step up, because that's what I do. And, and I, you know, I said, all right, let's go. And then, uh, honestly, uh, it was an ad that you couldn't even, I felt like I was playing, but I, nothing, I wasn't controlling nothing. But what I did was I went in, I played the game, I gave them my credit card information, and, uh, they, they took it very willingly, I'll say. And, uh, now the game has turned into, uh, me, uh, working with my bank and trying to, to, well, they took, they took everything, the, the, the, the princess planets. They took all my, all my money. And, uh. Rufus? What were we talking about? Okay, Rufus, okay. We're going to, we're going to put a pin in that, because we're going to, we have, obviously got to come back to, um, hmm, you giving out your credit card information and now losing all of the, your money. Um, oh, pig, I thought we were supposed to, like, cut him off from the, um, the outside stuff. I thought it was just, you know, the games are fine, but as long as they just are on the phone and they're not, you know, whatever, going around into the world, you're not, you're not, like, talking to anybody on these games, are you? Well, I mean, it's not so much as a, as a, as a talk. Uh, I'm happy to say I didn't cross that line. But what it is, is they make you a, a, a, an avatar. You know, I, you see you sit there and you can design it. And I put, uh, look at me. I'm like a, a, a kitten is what my, I made it. It's orange, got some stripes, you know. I put some fun of glasses on them, fun of hat. And, uh, I named them. Now, hold on. It's Kool Cat, but with all, with all, it's K-U-L-K-A-T. Yeah, Kool, Kool. It looks like it says Kull Cat, but, uh, the regular Kool Cat was taken, and Kool Cat, uh, all the way up to 49 was taken. Kool Cat 1, Kool Cat 2, all the way. And so I said, all right, let's, let's mix this up a little bit. And so what I did was, uh, K-O-O-L Cat, uh, and that was also taken way up into the numbers. And I said, all right, let's kind of mix this up a little bit. And then I figured out, uh, U can sound, if you do it right, if you look at it, you know, kind of to the side, that U, it's going to sound like the, the, uh, ooh, right? So Kool, Kool Cat was my name. Okay, stop, stop. So I think we've, we've, again, we've lost the thread here a little bit. So are you speaking to, are the people, are you talking to people online? Is, is this something where you're communicating with your, uh, Kool Cat? Well, no, so I didn't, I did not, uh, pay for this, this part of it. So I, I did not speak necessarily because you gotta, you know, I gotta, I think you gotta be a level 1700 or whatever it is to unlock the microphone, you know? And that's when I think the communication really starts. But what they allow you to do early on in the game so that you can build a communication, is you take your avatar, again, I'm Kool Cat, and you can type in and you can say like, well, okay, you actually can't even type in at the, at the state, I'm looking forward. Now, what I can do is I can just choose little, little word like bubbles, you understand? And so I can click it and it goes like, yee-haw, right? Yee-haw, like that. And, uh, and you can do one and it just goes, wah-wah. Like a sad thing, right? So right now I'm at, I'm at kind of the base of communication. Yeah. But that's why I know that this is real. Well, so I don't, okay. There's a lot to unpack here. Um, so you are communicating, but it's just through, uh, basic phrases. How many, how many phrases do you have unlocked? Do you unlock more phrases as you go? Yeah, yeah. The higher the levels, or the more you pay, the, the, the more you can communicate. Yeah. This is actually, this whole thing, this game, they built it. It's around, uh, communicating with people all around the world. I have, I have friends. I have a friend in, uh, Bengalidoo. I have a friend in, uh, uh, Washon, I think it is. Uh, uh, there's places just all around. I don't even know if these places are real, but that's just what it says under the name, you understand? So I don't even know if I'm talking to actual people or not. Uh, just, just a quick search. I looked up, uh, Bengalidoo, not a place. There is a place called Washon, but that's as, it's as like a series of restaurants. There's like Washon 1, Washon 17, the real Washon, the original Washon. So I, that, I don't know if it's an actual place, but it is, it is, uh, there are things that come up if I search for that. Uh, so, um, back, is this the person that took your, your, your credit card information and your money and everything? Oh, good job, Pig. Let's, yeah, good. Get him back on track. Uh, so Rufus, um, is, is, is this the game that you put your information in or, or is this a different game? Well, again, this, this one here is not really a game so much as a, as a social experiment is what they say. They say we're going to take communication back to its root, right? You know, cause when you first start, you don't even have these phrases. You just, it's like, uh, there's, there's some lines, right? There's like one that's like bent down and that looks like a sad face. Just, just, just a bent down line. And so you can walk up to people and depending on your day, how you're feeling, you just click that little line. Sometimes it's a happy effect, you know, just a smile looks like, and then sometimes it's, you know, and that's where you start off. Right. And I forgot before that you actually, you get, uh, you just go up to people and blink. That's, that's the, the, the first one is you, you can go up to people. And you can blink or you can sigh. And that's the first step, I believe. I, I don't hate the concept. If I'm to be honest, I kind of like, you know, cause I think communication in society is a little bit broken right now. So maybe this is what we need to do. We need to take it all the way back to where you just, you can, you can walk by people and you can blink and you can throw up a little line. Maybe it's an, you know, maybe a straight up and down is like an exclamation point. Like, whoa, you know, like that. Or maybe, uh, yeah, you got your sad, you got your happy. Cause like, right. I think maybe there's just too much going on and people don't know how to express it. And so we need to take them back to, uh, you know, almost like babies. Just be like, I go, go, you know, whatever you say like that. And, oh, you know, just like take it and have people figure that stuff out before they keep talking to each other. Right. Yeah. I, I mean, I, I, I, from that perspective, I kind of like it, but we have to get back to the credit cards and the money and, and, and everything. The else that's going on. So, um, Rufus, if you could, I guess, just give your phone to producer. Cause he's kind of our technical genius and, and we'll, we'll, we'll sort this out. We'll, we'll call the bank. We'll get that all fixed up. And, oh, what? Well, um, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Uh, and I think it's a good plan to get the phone to produce it. Cause I've actually locked myself out. And the, the big news here, everybody is in this game, this communication games. Well, I think that I have fallen in love.

Robot: The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show. And you'd like to help support the podcast. Check out our Patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car. Also pretty, please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley. It's recorded mixed and produced by producers. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius, J pig, Rufus, T Rufus, doodle poodle, robot trunks, and a gag, all of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty bumper car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty bumper car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. See you soon.

September 18, 2025
Bumperpodcast #458 – Season 3 – Dusty Diversion

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty tries to explain where he has been and what he has been doing, and why he hasn’t been recording – and no one is having any of his malarky!

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

Natty Bumpercar returns to the Bumperpodcast after months away, only to face harsh criticism from Aloysious J. Pig about the show's inconsistent recording schedule. In this comeback episode, Natty explains what he's been up to since losing his job, including an anxiety-fueled weekend spent creating an entire comedy festival from scratch. Producer emerges from layers of studio dust to share his concerns, while the trio gets sidetracked discussing laurels, plant care, and the ancient origins of common phrases. Despite the rocky reunion and dust-covered studio, the gang promises to return with more episodes soon—though Aloysious skeptically predicts it'll be another three months.

Memorable Quotes

“No one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“I think that it's one of those things that normally people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and be sad and i instead i did all this research bought the domain name and all the socials and trademarked the name”
— Natty Bumpercar

“If we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #comedy #podcasting #unemployment #anxiety #comedyfestival #friendship #plantcare #etymology

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so i'm imagining and i'm guessing and i don't know that everyone has probably been wondering

Aloysious J. Pig: where i am like what no no actually no natty i just want to jump in before you get all on your whole thing oh everybody wants to know where they've been everybody wants to know why you haven't been recording everybody wants they don't no one cares anymore okay it's been like a year or something since you've just been like oh i guess i'll record this episode and now i'm gonna wait six years or whatever it is you're doing yeah i don't know if anybody cares anymore if

Natty Bumpercar: i'm to be honest okay well that's harsh but i do appreciate your um being forth right forthwith forth i don't i appreciate you being forth with me so now you're making little jokes because

Aloysious J. Pig: you're uncomfortable or whatever i get it all right it's forthright you know this and i except somebody's got to tell it to you straight somebody's got to give it to you okay so you have a podcast you're doing well you got numbers you're growing and then all of a sudden what i don't know what happened to you but you're just yeah you'll yeah you just oh okay well

Natty Bumpercar: there's a little bit of success i'm gonna run away from from that i don't think i did that but maybe i don't know is that something i subconsciously did oh that's definitely something i'm gonna bring up with my therapist right because maybe yeah okay i'll i'll take that because i know that every so often i'm doing great with the podcast and then i just there's a shiny object and i run over to it and and and maybe that's the case here i'm gonna

Aloysious J. Pig: look really quick to see when the last yeah oh wow july july like 19th or something like that and then before that one it was like in june okay so it's you didn't do two in june good for you two in may but like it's just this is this is untenable so what i'm saying is if we're gonna do the podcast i'd love to do the podcast if you're just gonna come on once a month and say the same everybody wants to know where you've been i don't know i might have other things to do with my life i know you know i'm sure i don't even see rufus ain't here he's probably off fishing or whatever he does taking his summer break and and uh excuse me there's a lot of sawdust in here producer yeah produce are you awake i'm awake

Producer: sorry i was there's been a lot of i thought it was construction dust but he's actually just because we don't come in here anymore so it's just layers and piles of dust you know we could do like one of those core samples like they do on trees and we can actually dig down into the dust and we could see like when it was i don't know raining or maybe it was an ice age or i don't know how it works or anything but anyway nappy i agree with uh the uh the with aloysius that um you know this is what i do i've just been sitting in this room i actually had a layer of dust over myself as well and i would appreciate let's just record some shots okay yeah i okay i'm yes i agree

Natty Bumpercar: i'm sorry and i agree wait i agree with both of you and i'm sorry that i haven't been recording and i agree that i'm sorry i think that covers everything but here i'm just going to explain what i've been doing what's been going on okay because it's kind of important to me that i'm um i don't even know if i told you i lost my job yeah everybody knows okay you're basic i mean

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i guess you didn't put up uh uh like a sky writing but you you did you really put it out there oh woe is me woe is natty i lost my job and then you had you wrote something you was on some show and you got voted off kicked off i don't know what that was but yeah so we are all up to

Natty Bumpercar: date on that okay well cool so that weekend that was on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a thursday that that happened then the friday saturday sunday for some reason i um had this just anxiety uh of stuff that was inside my brain and i i anxiety created uh a comedy festival which is not something that i think normal people do i don't understand that you do what do you you

Producer: say you you you just you just oh like you say i made a festival it doesn't seem like you know just like anybody can like oh bing i just waited willie mammoth okay or did you what exactly i don't understand what you mean you did yeah did

Aloysious J. Pig: you hear they actually are working on the willie mammoth okay i don't know if maybe the people doing that got laid off from their jobs and then they were all of a sudden they were like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna i'm gonna make a big furry elephant thing or or or or what but uh yeah i said it's were you reading the news or something while we were gone there's a lot of news about this willie mammoth thing going i don't know if i agree with it but uh i don't know if i disagree with it i probably disagree with it but who knows okay i i have opinions i just don't

Natty Bumpercar: have this opinion evidently yeah i don't i don't yeah i don't know if i have opinion i do have opinions on this but i don't i haven't fully formulated what they would sound like so i'm gonna stick to so what what happened producer is i think that it's one of those things that it was and then the second the opportunity came the like all of the stress and the anxiety of being laid off normally i think people which you're supposed to do is like hide under the covers and and be sad and i instead um i i i did all this research does this thing exist didn't find anything so i bought the uh domain name and all the socials and uh then i went and i trademarked the name all this stuff boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom right and it was all in this weekend all this stuff just kind of flowed out of me and i think monday or tuesday i talked to my sweet and sour uh comedy producing partner suzanne and i was like hey hey hey hey because then that's when i did start crying and i was like guy think i want to do i want to do this festival and she was like what and i was just like festival where you can do it it's a montclair comedy festival you know i we did mont we did comedy in montclair for a million years so many shows and uh and we just produced this jaws the musical that was in the the fringe festival like that's a big thing that we did so let's not we i don't want to rest on uh

Aloysious J. Pig: on my on my laurels what what exactly is uh the or laurels does that does that is that something you got from like a swedish design

Producer: store or is that some condition that you have or i think that a laurel might be like a type of a shrub or a type of a bush i don't know um did we get some some laurels planted and if so how did we afford them i think you know you don't have a job and laurels are pretty expensive not only to to put to get but then to put in the ground and then their upkeep and and everything and uh and then you know it's same why you're going to go in the store and you're going to go in the store and sit on them okay because like i said they're pretty expensive and then what i know about plants isn't a lot but i do know that plants do not like to be you know just like sat upon and they do not appreciate it yeah and they will they will wilt is what will happen to them

Natty Bumpercar: so okay yes those are you're actually right skip laurels uh and we do not have any we did look at some a few times uh because we do like to buy plants uh bring them home plant them do all the stuff you're supposed to do for them and watch as they just uh die for no reason uh we've actually we've had people come to our yard and look at our at our yard and and and scratch their chins and shake their heads and and ask questions did you did you did you water it yes did you dig the hole twice as big as the root ball yes i did now a long time ago one of the mistakes that we made when we bought the root ball was that we didn't have the root ball some plants was we dug this big hole and then when the uh with this the uh the dirt that we put in there right top soil type stuff uh we actually put uh fertilizer in thinking well these plants are going to be happy look at they've got all they've got everything they need we're watering them they've got their nutrients and and somebody said oh no you don't put the fertilizer in with the plant uh because what that plant does then is it doesn't uh search out into the world for its own nutrients it just hangs out in that area that you already fertilized and and it doesn't see the need to go out any further and then the uh the root ball like where you know what's it just doesn't grow and so then it ends up just dying and uh well that that was a lot to take in and that was kind of like a too much love situation we loved these plants to actual death and we didn't want to let them die and we didn't want to let them die and we didn't want to let them die and so um it's it can happen okay but no i was i was resting on my laurels which is a phrase it's a phrase i just looked it up it's like

Aloysious J. Pig: a greek and roman times and and uh when somebody did something good or whatever i don't really know why but they would be given a little crown made of ready for this laurels just like the plants you're talking about so producer you were sort of right there right and then the whole phrase means all right great just so you did something big just because you did something good you got your little crown now don't just put that crown down on the ground and and and do nothing just sit on it right don't rest on it because that you know what's going to happen that crown's going to wilt it's going to go away so when you get your crown you know what you're supposed to do you're supposed to keep on going keep pushing right and who knows uh maybe you're going to get another crown i don't want to promise you anything okay i don't i don't even know who's voting i don't even know what the uh the metrics are but what i'm telling you is that you just don't want to rest on them now i don't know if you're allowed to uh rest next to them if maybe there was some laurel hangers around in in in ancient times where you could you know do a good job hey here's your laurels crown and then you uh you say oh wow i am i am tired oh wait ready you say oh man i am bushed which is another word for saying tired and uh and then you take off your your laurel which is a bush crown and you can just hang it up so that you're then you're resting right which is good and important to take breaks every so often but you're not resting on your laurels you're you're just kind of hanging out there maybe maybe eating uh a sandwich i don't even i don't know if they had sandwiches back i don't know yeah but uh yeah at least you're not resting on that was a lot excuse me on on your laurels what was that

Natty Bumpercar: oh no i think it's okay it's the dust that's what's happening right now i understand um okay i think what we should do is um work on cleaning out the studio i'm so thrilled to be back i'm thrilled that i have thrown my entire brain into the montclair comedy festival and uh maybe we'll talk about it more i don't know maybe or maybe i don't know what we're gonna do we're certainly not gonna talk about laurel care anymore because there has to be other shows that are out there that are much more expert and that are talking uh much more eloquently about um about hedges you know uh box boxwoods um shrubbery kind of all of those things and i don't feel like that's where we really want to go but um you know who knows it's a fresh start so maybe maybe that is exactly

Producer: where we want to go i feel like um sorry i just feel sorry about that i didn't mean to cut you off but i feel like we should all um acknowledge that we were talking about the the laurels and we're all kind of right that doesn't happen very often normally you know we're all up on different things different tangents different whatevers and and this time i feel like you know things really came together pretty well so congratulations to the whole team and i'm gonna go find uh do we have like a duster or something maybe a vacuum or whatever because we really got to clean this

Natty Bumpercar: place up okay yeah yeah absolutely um all right well so we'll be back soon because we have a lot of stuff to talk about that wasn't even we didn't even scratch the surface there okay

Aloysious J. Pig: there's more there's more yep i suppose we'll see you in three months or so

Robot: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

August 11, 2025
Bumperpodcast #457 – Season 3 – Story Time

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty decides to tell a story that he is very excited about. Then there are bulls. Then horses.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar recounts the awkward experience of telling a story that completely kills the vibe at a social gathering. The conversation spirals into an absurd discussion about bulls in china shops, with Aloysious J. Pig dissecting the various hazards of carpeted versus hardwood floors. Rufus T. Rufus shares his retail experience involving an actual horse wandering into a store, while Doodle Poodle relates his own pond-side storytelling disaster where all the other frogs literally slid into the water from boredom. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational comedy as the characters get hilariously sidetracked before Natty can finish his original story.

Memorable Quotes

“You look around you go oh no did i do this did i make did i ruin did i end the whole restaurant for right now is that what i've done socially?”
— Natty Bumpercar

“Sometimes frogs when they're very uncomfortable what they'll do is they just kind of tilt the lily pad so they'll just kind of slide into the water and everyone had just disappeared.”
— Doodle Poodle

“All of a sudden you got an equine specimen coming into the shop and you're like whoa what is that? That's not fair it's not right it's not for you to judge bumper car.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

Topics: #storytelling #socialawkwardness #retailwork #bullsinchinashops #friendship #frogs #improvisation

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: no no because to me that was no without that was the craziest part of the story was nobody believed it like i was i was several minutes into the story and i and i kind of looked around and i could see that not a single person who was looking at me was like nodding their head like oh yeah we're here with you like we get it like trying to you know pipe in or anything that none of them and i i said i was just like but do you you guys do you know what i'm right talking about well right nothing no and silence yep which is just a very uncomfortable situation to be in well it's

Aloysious J. Pig: also it feels like a lot of what happens here on the on the bumper podcast where you come in you know a bull in a china shop and you're just you're burst in the doors which also they're made a glass not china but it's one of those glasses that these uh it doesn't shatter it's shatterproof glass right then you come in but then the the shelves are all around and that you know the shelves are also glass really it in the china shop it's not one of these things where it's just a china that you're worried about right it's the china obviously if you're trying to shop it's the biggest thing that you're going to worry about getting broken but you know you got your displays you got your doors whatnot uh there's just a lot of investment like what is it a carpet floor uh you know you're gonna be like a bull and on a carpeted floor that's gonna get destroyed is it a wood floor again scuffed up probably have some real just you know just issues i try to think like just just

Rufus T. Rufus: just something dragged across a wooden floor so you can't it's destroyed yeah well i don't wish i actually hello everybody this is me rufus tear rufus i worked in uh nobody knows this i don't think but i did work retail coming up through law school i actually worked in uh now it wasn't a china shop particularly but we did sell some some some some some pieces but the wood floor now what we had there is you could have issues where uh if you the displays if somebody if you didn't uh move them around properly uh they would gouge i think is the word you're looking for they would gouge the wood floors put real just uh just not even a scrape but this actual like you you know you're gonna have to

Natty Bumpercar: refinish it to fix that and i remember one time i was rufus rufus i'm sorry um okay well all right well yeah so thank you um i don't think i i don't know why we're fixating on the the china shop part here or working retail what i was i was talking to like you group of people and everyone's talking and everyone's having fun and then you jump in with a story and you're like this is it this story this is really it's moving the conversation forward it ties into everything that we're talking about it makes sense that i would bring it up uh and then you know a little bit into the story you realize that the room has become silent like not even like if you're at a restaurant it's not even just your table that's become silent there are the the workers are standing around just looking not even at you because they're too uncomfortable to look at you other tables you know maybe they were about to pay their checks they've they've just sat back down put their hands on top of each other on the table and they're kind of looking at their hands uh just just nerves uh and you you look around you go oh no did i do this did i make did i did i did i make wow did i did i ruin did i end the whole restaurant for right now is that what i've done socially am i that socially awkward that i have managed to shut down an entire uh business so i uh so not

Doodle Poodle: i know exactly what you're talking about because it has situation that's happened to me more than one time where i was you know i was i was i was i was in the lily pads we started the the pond was the lily pad and you know sometimes after we have the dinner of like we eat some flies and some you know like little little that's really what we eat is the bugs it's delicious if you cook them properly which is to say you don't cook them at all because once you cook them they don't they don't taste good but i'm a frog so everyone needs to understand that my palate might be a little bit different than your palate but anyway after we eat we you know like to say and look at the moon and maybe there's a dragonfly like just kind of buzzing by and you know and one time i remember that i was telling a story and you know nighttime on the pond can be a pretty loud place there's a lot of good stuff going on where you go you know the rear bit the rear bit whatever and then there's over here you have the little skeezes little noises every there's noise a lot of noises around the pond they're beautiful calming noises but you know they're it can be a bit cacophonous in the in the nicest way and i i was telling a story and then i looked around because i noticed it was getting very quiet and sometimes frogs when they're very uncomfortable what they'll do is they're just like they don't even jump off the lily pad they just kind of tilt the lily pad so they'll just kind of slide into the water and i was that is yeah everyone had just disappeared just me there no dragonflies no the moon was even behind the clouds because i guess my story was was that i don't know if it was boring or if it was just kept going on and on or if it was no one was interested or i don't really know what happened but it was and i didn't feel so good so i know kind of what there's no china shop there's no glass none of this stuff the uh but we don't really do that in the pond but just a lot of uh nobody around type of thing and i was like oh my

Aloysious J. Pig: yeah i can kind of see just from listening to your story uh listen it was a fine story it's a great story you know uh but then at a point it seemed like you kind of um just lost the thread a little bit you know you kind of started it's almost like you got sleepy it's like you're telling a story and you know it's a there's a restaurant and you have flies you're eating and lily pads and dragonflies and the moon like you know nice stuff really painting a picture of the moon and then you picture for me and then kind of towards the end when you start talking about the people who kind of just uh sliding into the water uh yeah i was looking around trying to find myself a little bit of water to slide into myself and that's you know no nothing on you you did a great job but you just kind of yeah you just ran out of steam like if you were a train if you were a steam engine you you just you just stopped going and that's okay you know that that's station it was right over there the people can get out and they can walk or we can send over a horse and buggy whatever it is to you know get the luggage and so you were close you're very close

Rufus T. Rufus: now when i was talking about i was working retail uh in the the the bull we're back to the bull now the bull in the china shop uh now that recollection came to me when you just mentioned a horse and a because there's one time in the shop that we had left the doors open for ventilation because it was a little bit stuffy inside and well uh uh lo and behold uh a horse just wandered right into the store right and you understand horses are much uh more calm than and then and then them bulls you know that isn't to say that horses can't get excited and whatever they're back on their haunches and they're being all big whore whatever but just in general the horse was fine walking around the different displays uh if his feet were clean so the carpet was not an issue and then when it got over to uh the uh the hardwood floor now you know it did get a little bit scuffed up no gouges but uh you know i think if i if i had to expound upon the the the the saying i'd say something wrong lines or you know you're like a bull don't be like a bull in a china shop uh be more like a horse who just happened to walk in because uh uh the people had work in there had opened the door to to let it just air out a little bit i guess that's too wordy i mean i'm not i'm not being paid by the word here that's

Natty Bumpercar: for sure yeah um okay well so yeah i like i do like the bull in the china shop more like a horse i don't really feel like a horse should go into a china shop either uh just you know it's what if it's busy what if uh what if there's like a shop cat and it freaks the horse out what if uh you know there's just a lot of variables there's a lot of things that could go wrong you know what if there's like an a clothing section you know and the horse is just like i'm gonna i'm gonna munch on this uh on this uh i was gonna say camisole but i don't know what that is on this cami no on the you know what i'm just gonna i'm just gonna eat these linens because they they look and they smell delicious i don't know how hungry this horse is whose horse is it anyway why is there just a horse wandering around the street walking into shops uh why is this chaos that we're living in brah you're sitting here

Aloysious J. Pig: walking to a frog and to a pig and to a lawyer so whatever you know the animal that is but why are we uh getting all held up on uh there being a horse walking into a store i was i walked into like seven stores yesterday you know what any anybody said to me they said hello that's what they said they no one was just like hey pig what you doing in here right like one of them was even like that because it's a store that i've been in before but that's not the point my point is sometimes a horse is gonna have to go into a store and that's just the way it is and if you have carpets or if you have hardwood that's on you okay you know people come in with their with their steel toe boots or their their stiletto heels and nobody's grabbing them what is that doing to the hardwood gouging i would assume right but all of a sudden you know they're you got a uh an equine specimen coming into the shop and you're like whoa what is like just that's not fair it's not right it's not for you to judge bumper car yeah i don't i don't you know pig i can

Doodle Poodle: tell you're getting a little bit excited like you know it was very good reason and i just i don't know you know if there was judging going on necessarily or if it was more just kind of like you know talking about the situation just like whoa how did this situation happen and then you know kind of trying to deconstruct it a little bit uh but again i'm i was fine with it so i don't want to you know i just think we went from a bull and then i was a frog and then the horse and then uh the aloe she's you had a pig um i've i've been i don't go into stores as much as i used to really um just a few stores that i just i won't go into because i don't agree with you know some of the things that i do not going to name any names but i think you know i think you know uh but so i don't online shop either because that's not good for the environment so what i've started doing is really just not buying anything ever which is great for my economy i just have all of this money just stuffed into my mattress my wet wet frog mattress yeah hold on you got you got a mattress

Rufus T. Rufus: you got a mattress full of money hold on a second where's that where's that frog sleep at anyway

Aloysious J. Pig: okay anyway bumper guy didn't you have some story at the beginning you want to tell maybe you should get to it finally you know we went through the whole thing what were you wanting to talk about

Natty Bumpercar: thank you aloe it's just i really appreciate that so it's not a big deal but this story that i was telling which i thought was going to be a great story that i thought everyone was going to love um it was about this time very recently when i went through it was kind of a traumatic but also kind of a hilarious scenario that i set myself up for but i was like everyone's gonna love this story because it's about me doing dumb stuff

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

July 15, 2025
Bumperpodcast #456 – Season 3 – Sorry Slope

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty decides that everyone should start being nice to each other which leads to some heartfelt apologies.

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

In episode 456 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar and the gang attempt something unusual: being nice to each other. After a listener points out they can't remember an episode where the characters were actually nice, Natty decides it's time to change things up. The episode features Natty, Rufus T. Rufus, and Producer navigating the awkward territory of polite conversation and apologies. Rufus explains his theory about the dangerous "sorry slope" and why he refuses to apologize for anything, while the crew attempts to make amends for how they treated Producer and the new microphone in the previous episode. This hilarious and surprisingly heartfelt episode explores the comedy of forced niceness and why saying sorry can be so difficult for some puppets.

Memorable Quotes

“That's what I call the sorry slope. The second you put your foot on the sorry slope you could get stuck, you could get pulled all the way down.”
— Rufus T. Rufus

“When you hang out with people all the time you don't ask them how they're doing because you just see them all the time and so you know.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“It's okay to say you're sorry. It doesn't make you less of a person, it actually makes you more of a person.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #friendship #apologies #communication #conflictresolution #awkwardsocialsituations #niceness #microphone

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so today i think we're going to be nice which is different for us because sometimes we're not as nice as we should be and somebody pointed out to me that they don't even remember an episode where we were actually nice to each other and i i take that as a problem you know something to fix so hey guys how's it going no that didn't feel right hey no okay hey pig what what like that

Rufus T. Rufus: sup hey sup with you uh yeah i think it's fine it'll be easy to be nice to each other right the uh the weather is uh dreary outside it's cloudy it's kind of gray uh the ground seems to be marshy uh so that's fun really gets everyone's attention and uh so i think it's fine i think it's fine i think it's fine i think it's in the spirit uh and uh the kids are about to be home from school for the rest of the summer so that's gonna be very pleasant very happy times everybody's thrilled with that uh yeah oh boy so uh i guess i'll ask the question uh natty how are you doing i mean it just sounds so weird when we

Natty Bumpercar: i don't know when we say when we say hi to each other or we like it sounds what is it disingenuous is the word i'm looking for uh which is strange because we hang out all the time but i guess we don't normally just ask i guess when you hang out with people all the time you don't ask them how they're doing because you just you see them all the time and so you know in one way it could be annoying where if i see you several times a day and i'm like how are you doing they're like back off still doing the same but you're actually making me kind of agitated so in that instance you're trying to be nice by asking someone how they're doing and i'm like how are you doing how they're doing but i guess they're just being asked too much is that what it is it's like a there's must there's some social contractor oh okay yeah all right hello rufus yeah hey there

Rufus T. Rufus: now i heard you talking about a social contract and as you know i'm the one around here who loves to to facilitate to uh possibilitate to uh recreate and to uh designate and never deviate from uh the contracts from the from the the letters of the law from the structure of the pen to the paper you understand there's indentations there's bullet points there's the little things that are inside bullet points like hollow bullet points and then sometimes i've seen it where people go bullet point indent hollow bullet point in dent you go back to a bullet point what world is that even i'm gonna get confused i gotta get my glasses on okay so uh i heard everybody talking how is everybody doing it don't feel right it just feels strange for some reason yeah no i i get it um we gotta

Natty Bumpercar: figure that out um you know one thing we could talk about the last episode that we had which i i am so sorry it was a little while ago but if i even bother to tell you how much life has been to me lately um i you would never you would never listen again because you would be too busy being sad um but that's okay because we we we pick ourselves up and we throw ourselves back down the hill once again um it's a grassy hill don't worry so it was hay at the bottom of it so it's okay you just roll and then you're in the hay it's fine uh but the last episode i think that we had um there was a new microphone oh yeah i remember the new microphone right yeah yes and he it i don't remember uh she they they we'll go with they had a lot of problems uh or they caused a lot of problems um i don't remember you know now that i mentioned i don't even remember what it was but i do know that there was a new microphone and that there were issues which is shocking for this show everything normally goes so smoothly and uh goes off without a hitch so you know uh where

Producer: is the new microphone why we're back to the old old stuff yeah so we you know we were really having a problem in the last episode and you know everybody seemed to be having a difficult time and so i was just like

Rufus T. Rufus: hold on i don't even know i apologize i was i didn't keep up with that last part i don't speak frog as fluently as i probably should but it sounded like you said uh or something like that if i got that wrong or right i don't know but i definitely don't even understand what it means or could mean the potential of what it could mean yeah uh producer you i huh we're trying to be nice to everybody in this episode so i'm just gonna stick with that and what what what what did you

Producer: just say well first off i just want to say that i'm all in and behind the um uh the the idea to make this show nice you know when we first started everybody was friends we're all new to each other and we're you know kind of seeing like okay maybe this person can be my friend and then over the years of you know living together and not getting paid and just kind of being around each other all the time and then we went through the the whole thing that we couldn't leave the house for a long time you know it it became very very closed in and yeah you know we maybe don't uh we're not as nice to each other as we as we as we used to to to be um now that's what i was saying about the microphone it was causing a lot of trouble and uh so it's currently in our av closet which is our audio and video closet it's actually a v e audio video equipment so i put it in the description box and i'm going to put it in the description box right now and you know it just i'm trying to test some things out make sure everything is working properly and then you know maybe we'll bring it back in i don't know yeah no that thank

Natty Bumpercar: you producer for uh for doing that as i remember and i don't want to bring up any bad memories but that last episode uh you were really getting it i i don't know who it was from i don't know where it was from but people were seeing this is our episode we're going to be nice not just to each other but we're going to figure out ways that we can be nice to other people which is a crazy concept i know um but i i think i'm going to apologize because i don't remember if i was uh part and parcel part of being mean to you in the last episode and if i was then i uh apologize and i'm gonna see if uh if aloesius if you want uh rufus maybe you guys want to say

Rufus T. Rufus: something to producer yeah sure i also don't really remember the last episode i do remember something about him microphone because it was in the spot where i usually you know put my uh my my cup of water this microphone is hanging from the ceiling that microphone was on the table and so i remember getting very parched and sometimes when i get parched i i lash out a little bit and um you know producer you have a hard job thankless job and i i want to say that i'm also very sorry that uh if and that natty was mean to you in the last episode because you don't deserve that you do a lot of hard work around here right why did you just put

Natty Bumpercar: it back on me like i already did my apology and then you did this big build-up and gave a reason for why you might have been feisty and then you didn't say sorry you just said sorry that i was

Rufus T. Rufus: mean but uh what about you rufus well now in my line of business it's uh it's something it's we don't ever uh start apologizing for nothing because once you say you're sorry now that means you're taking responsibility for something bad that might have happened and you know once you take responsibility the next logical step there is that uh somebody might take advantage of your uh uh having responsibility uh uh having responsibility and the vulnerability that you have then opened up to have to rectify the situation that you were quote end quote sorry about so i will refrain from uh saying those those actual words let me think here but i uh i do feel bad producer at the last episode with the microphone uh again i agree with uh how mean how rude how just unnecessary uh and that it was was to you so i not you know what i will stand up for your rights okay right yeah and maybe he's gonna say he's sorry but i don't know i don't know if he's gonna well i already did i was the first

Natty Bumpercar: one and i actually did say that i was sorry and which fine i'm sorry but i don't know if he's gonna say that i'm sorry but i'm taking responsibility for not being nice that's a good thing okay if you make a mistake or you you are not nice to somebody if you're rude or short it's okay to say you're sorry okay it doesn't make you less of a person it actually makes you more of a person a better person because you then are showing that you have the ability to recognize that you have faults to recognize that you're not always perfect regardless of what you've been told your whole life show the people that you know you empathize with them you know it humanizes you it makes you just i don't know more relatable and easier to make a connection with and more present because you know a lot of times people do bad things and if you say anything they'll actually get mad that you called them out on doing the bad thing and then i've i know i have and then i've been like oh i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry and i'm apologizing just for letting them know that this bad thing has happened that they were involved in does that make any sense no

Rufus T. Rufus: now i'm i'm a little so okay you're saying somebody does something bad right and then they have the option i guess they have a few options they can just walk away right ignore it they can decide to uh apologize maybe try to fix the situation right or and this one's kind of funny i mean not funny haha but funny whoa what's wrong with this world uh they might actually get angry that you noticed that they did something wrong or bad and then they might not only not say they're sorry to you but then cause you to say sorry to them and then they might say sorry to you somehow feel guilt where you're then apologizing for the thing that they did or for i don't understand well now this is what i was talking about and this is a slippery slope this is the dangerous vortex that you can fall into if you're not careful all right and that's what i call the sorry slope didn't just make that up sorry slope where you step on it and the second you put your foot on the sorry slope you could get stuck you could get pulled all the way down to the sorry slope right sometimes like what nat is saying people might even push you down the sorry slope you didn't even have nothing to do with it you were just a bystander innocent just minding your own business and then something bad happens you say oh something bad boom they push you down the sorry slope then where are you you're nowhere huh that's why never in my life will i ever say that word much like uh fonzarella i go i'm does he remember that because i can't even say the word is what i'm saying i'm like that so i almost said it right there almost okay anyway that's that was too close for me i was looking over this right over the edge of that sorry slope

Producer: yeah but uh i guess i appreciate it everyone everyone's close to saying sorry or apologizing for natty there's seen it's It seems like the right thing to do, honestly.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, but I don't understand why I'm now to blame for everything. All I did was apologize. Does that not make me nice? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can, Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

June 19, 2025
Bumperpodcast #454 – Season 3 – Am Human

In this episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty is excited to talk about something, is interrupted by Pig, and then forgets what he was ever even excited about…

You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Go like our Facebook page

Podcast: Download | Embed
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

About This Episode

In this improvisational episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar starts with big plans to discuss something important but immediately gets derailed. Aloysious J. Pig questions whether Natty actually talks to real people or just performs at them. The conversation spirals through topics like putting out fires, screaming in theaters, and whether service workers are genuinely nice or just doing their jobs. Natty shares a detailed story about a challenging comedy show two hours away where he had to work hard to engage a disconnected crowd by jumping off stage and doing table-to-table bits. The episode showcases the show's signature rambling, self-aware humor as the characters forget what they were originally trying to discuss.

Memorable Quotes

“You understand that people in restaurants and stores, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They're just trying to be cordial, civil.”
— Aloysious J. Pig

“All I do in my life at this point is I run around and I put out fires. Oh there's a fire run, oh there's a fire run, and I never even get to check if the fires are actually out.”
— Natty Bumpercar

“I refuse this reality. I'm gonna take charge of this reality and I did and it worked out.”
— Natty Bumpercar

Topics: #stand-upcomedy #socialinteraction #improvisation #performanceanxiety #friendship #overthinking #crowdwork

Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: so this is going to be one of those episodes where i've got i've got thoughts i've got ideas

Aloysious J. Pig: and i've got thoughts okay so you mean it's going to be one of those episodes that people can should just go ahead and like skip that's what you're saying right off the bat just hey hey everybody warning here's just so you know an episode that you probably don't need to listen

Natty Bumpercar: don't no no that's not what i'm saying at all no no no so here's the thing at night when i do i say here's the thing a lot i feel like i say here's the thing a lot hold on a second now i got to

Aloysious J. Pig: think about that and now you're derailed you came in all hot and strong and you're like oh i got something to talk about and now you're like oh another shiny thing focus bumper car you're a

Natty Bumpercar: minute in and there's the phone ringing and that's why i can't focus because there's never any time to focus on anything because i never get a chance it's like all i do in my life at this point is i run around and i put out fires i'm like oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run oh there's a fire run and i never even get to check if the fires are actually out because i'm so busy running from fire to fire to fire you

Aloysious J. Pig: better hope that this is not being do we play these ever at a at a movie theater any kind of theater because if you're doing your podcast and you're up here screaming fire fire fire people are gonna get you're gonna i think you're breaking some laws maybe i but you can't just start screaming fire fire fire that's that's that's highly illegal and if and i'm not listen i'm not saying that because i want anybody else to come to the podcast because i like it's just you and me today but i think you're probably bending maybe even breaking a couple

Natty Bumpercar: of laws here yeah no i listen don't you worry about that we live in a post-law society would you stop stop this is supposed to be a silly funny

Aloysious J. Pig: podcast don't if you if you jump down that hole that rabbit hole you're gonna be in all kinds of trouble dude i wouldn't do it i would just take a deep breath and now let's talk about whatever it was that you started off now two minutes ago wanting to talk about ah that was

Natty Bumpercar: so long ago and now i feel like we've talked about i don't remember i was so excited i came in and i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so excited i was so I'd been thinking about something that I wanted to talk about, and I thought it was even interesting, and then I was, I, I, I can't, why, why does this happen?

Aloysious J. Pig: Is it because you don't do the podcast often enough, and so you're a little bit out of, out of, out of, out of sync? That's not what I want. Out of practice? That's what I want. Or maybe is it because the only time you actually have conversations around the podcast, because you don't talk to other people, and so you, maybe you just had too much ready to go, and then when you got distracted, it all fell apart?

Natty Bumpercar: No, I talk to people all the time. Like, I'm always talking to people. I, I talk to people constantly, really, you know, if, if, if you look at talking, then. I'm probably, I'm doing, I'm talking.

Aloysious J. Pig: You, you understand that it's, like, people in, in restaurants and, and stores, that, those aren't common, you're, you're, they're being paid to be nice to you. You understand that, right? They, they're, they're just trying to be, uh, cordial, civil, you know, uh.

Natty Bumpercar: Civil, like, civil, civil shepherd?

Aloysious J. Pig: I did, yeah, so now we're doing, like, references to television from 30 years ago?

Natty Bumpercar: Oh, bumper car.

Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Oh, bumper. Bumper car. What are you doing?

Natty Bumpercar: Well, what about, okay, fine, I understand, and I accept, whatever, that those, those people are probably, maybe only being nice to me because it's, it's their job, uh, which, fine, whatever, you know, they don't have to do their job so well to me, right, to talk to me. They could just, uh, give me a smile and walk away, but I'll, fine, I will accept your, your logic, and I will say, what about? I had a show this weekend, and, and I, I talked to people there.

Aloysious J. Pig: Now, you, so, when you're doing stand-up comedy, you're not talking to people, you're talking at people. You're on stage, right, which by, you're up high, you're far away, you're talking into a microphone, which is, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's, uh, I would say magnifying your voice? Is that what we're saying? Amplifying. We'll say amplifying your voice. And so it's, that's, that's also not a conversation, but it really highlights, I think, where your brain is, uh, a little bit, uh, wonk, wonka-doodle.

Natty Bumpercar: Well, okay, so normally I totally agree with you, but this show, which I had to drive two hours to get to, it was so far away because of traffic and stuff. So I got there, and they had the tables set up, like, 20 feet from the stage where I was performing. and the also the stage was like high up like super high up like probably i'm gonna go five and a half feet five feet we'll say five feet up and there were spotlights but they were not on and they were not pointed at the stage even if they were on so it created this really weird environment and um so i was sitting in the back at the comics table which was table number 13 which is

Aloysious J. Pig: not foreshadowing at all did i tell the crowd so listen everybody who's listening to this story first off i apologize second off uh if bumper car sounds weird it's because every so often

Unknown: there's still music beds that are coming through that evidently somebody forgot to turn off and so

Aloysious J. Pig: he was telling some story then all of a sudden it's like unksha unksha unksha which is why he sounded confused anyway back back to your story tell your story tell your story okay yeah those

Natty Bumpercar: unksha unksha beats uh are always coming through so here's so so i uh i was back at the table and there was a woman who was running the show she like hired us i guess and she came back and the producer of the show said hi just so you know you're gonna be bringing um natty up he's the host for the for the show and i said hi natty and she's like what's your name natty bumper car that's a stupid name no she didn't say stupid that's a silly name uh is that really your name and i said ah who knows because that's usually what i say uh just to get out of that conversation and uh or i say probably uh and and she's like okay whatever listen uh in a few minutes uh i'll go up there i'm gonna say a little bit about the show and and then i'll introduce you and i was like perfect and so in my mind that meant okay i have time to i'm gonna i'm gonna go use the bathroom maybe i'm gonna stretch a little bit maybe do some jumping jack whatever i do i don't know think about what i'm gonna say and i i stood up to leave the room to find the bathroom and uh she was already on the stage and she was like okay everybody here's your host uh natty and i was i was two feet out of the door which meant i was all the way out of the door already and i went oh oh and and i had to turn and run all the way up to the stage because it was far away it was it was much farther than i thought it was and uh you know hopped up on stage and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go use the bathroom and i was just like haha what happened to a few minutes huh thanks oh here we go which was a weird way to start a show not how you want to start a show and uh i'm not blaming that but the crowd was you know like usually they have like a 30 second hey everybody thanks for coming out tonight thanks for coming to our show how about that food ha that's sponsored by this person and look at all these decorations great job these people like whatever it is and now let's get ready you guys and they're like yeah we're ready but this was instead this was just like hey show go and and and me running on stage and so the crowd was just like kind of there but also kind of not there and i did about 12 minutes up front and um you know there were some laughs but there was also a lot of me switching gears it was like i'm gonna try that no you don't like okay i'm gonna try that you don't like okay i'm gonna try that nope okay good good good just a lot of me kind of uh feeling the crowd out trying to feel what they like trying to feel what they don't like or whatever and um so then i got off like i introduced uh the person who produced the show she was going to do a little jump on spot a little guest spot and so i introduced her like hey and i i found a little back room on the stage because i didn't want to go all the way back to the table because i'd already got my steps in that day so after she got off i went up and i was i was i was i was like i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this frustrated because i i i'm the host and i was not gonna let the show go that way and so i was just like no no i'm taking charge and so they had given me a wireless microphone and so i actually hopped off the stage and i decided to run from table to table to table and i don't it's not necessarily crowd work because i wasn't really letting them talk so much but i would pick out something at the table and i would make fun of it quick boom bam boom zing zing zing and then i would run to the next table boom bam boom zing zing zing and you know and that actually got the crowd engaged and that got them kind of awake and kind of like oh hey we're at a show and then you know it was good because the other two comics uh they had a much easier time with the crowd because i forced them to be engaged and i was so happy with that because it was a little bit you know like it's easy to get depressed and get into a funk when things aren't going exactly the way you want them to or the way you planned for them to go and just kind of throw your hands up and be like well i tried but you know did you did you try and and so i was like no i'm i refuse i refuse this reality i'm gonna take charge of this reality and and and and i did and it it worked out to the point where i was like oh my god i'm gonna do this after the show everyone was like oh that was so fun when you came down and talked to us when you were running around and you were talking to us and i was just like yay good glad to hear it yay good i don't want to talk about it now because it makes me

Aloysious J. Pig: uncomfortable talking to humans uh yeah so that's what i'm talking so that you know what it sounds like you might have had a conversation or two which uh good for you really proud of you really really coming far really the the performer who you know is really coming out of his shell good job good for you yeah really proud of you really happy for you okay um what were you what were you talking about earlier we said about talking to people oh because i actually checked out you were talking right then for like seven minutes and so i kind of walked out of the room

Natty Bumpercar: yeah which i apologize but it's uh you know i'm a very busy uh pig yeah you're very i get it but no what was you i came in remember i was excited to talk about something on the podcast and then i got distracted and then you tried to bring everything back together and by the time you did that i had already forgotten what it was that i wanted to talk about that i was all excited to talk about and then you um said asked if if i was forgetting because i wasn't doing the show enough and so i was out of practice yep or if um that because i never talked to anybody in the world i that maybe um i was saving everything up just to explode out into the bumper podcast and so maybe

Aloysious J. Pig: that's what was happening i think yeah that uh that sounds about right but it's also pretty we're not if i was trying to say phenomenally but i said renominally it's pretty phenomenally creepy like that did you take notes on the conversation because i pretty that's all those things you were just saying were i think exactly the things that i was talking anyway who cares who cares who cares um fine so i i don't know what we established there yes you talked to people not at people and they weren't people at a place of business like a restaurant or a store where they have to talk to you so what i think well that we've maybe proven in some form of fashion yeah that you might be uh human is that what we're doing i mean i don't i forget the whole point of this whole thing

Natty Bumpercar: no i think maybe we just i don't know what we just proved that i talked to people sometimes yeah we've proved that i talk to people sometimes and i don't i don't only talk on the podcast i'm human you

Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash bumper podcast and we'll see you next time on the bumper podcast forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus to you rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car dot com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

May 21, 2025