Tag: counting

Natty Bumpercar: hey Aloysius what what are you doing what you doing I'm not whatever you're doing I'm not doing you're singing a song you're singing why are you singing a song that's what we do now but it's not we just talk remember come on man no I'm not gonna because that's not how we operate sing your part I don't have a part fine okay to just talk to the people the way you normally talk to the people okay this hand clapping thing it's weird I don't it's not I mean it was a good beat thanks I'm not gonna lie to you I like it so anything new Aloysius anything you're up to any uh any anything at all nothing I can think of off the top of my head um you know I did I did walk around the uh the yard the other day and I saw um some flowers coming up oh that means spring is gonna happen yeah it means spring is gonna happen yeah I saw some bumblebees oh the sun was up in the sky I took a nap in the hammock haha hammock good one yeah like because you're a pig and it's like a hammock like hey what is what did the pig take a nap in it was a hammock I get it yeah I guess you get it yeah get it so uh that's what I've been up to you know a lot of sleeping a lot of napping uh a bath like four or five times a day bubble bath uh moisturize I don't want to get dry skin uh drinking a lot of water yeah it's good that's healthy you gotta drink you gotta hydrate you gotta stay hydrated you gotta you gotta drink a lot of water I like that you're taking a lot of baths um I was wondering though why our water bill was so high but now I know here's the thing pig if you um just you can just wash your your little hooves your hooves your hooves your hooves no they're hooves your hooves they are hooves come on look at them look at them look at these what are these what are these my hooves those are your hooves um I think maybe that I mean taking a bath once a day is great uh but maybe four times a day that's we're gonna use up all the bubbles uh and it's you know it's not great for the environment the fish needs somewhere to sleep and if you're taking all your baths then the fish aren't gonna have a home so that's that's not nice kind of like the people next to us we had a nice wooded lot and uh somebody came and where all the deer lived there were families and families of deer who would wave at us every morning on their way to work I remember one time the daddy deer he went out he was holding his a cup of deer coffee and he was buying he was picking up his deer newspaper he's he was still wearing his little deer robe and uh I was I was in the driveway and he looked over at me and he just kind of raised his little mug as if to say good morning good morning and then uh but then they took all the woods away and now the deer they've moved on to somewhere else they didn't even leave like a forwarding address so if we get their mail we can we don't even know where to send it so I don't what's the I don't understand the connection okay well yeah the point is I'm saying the deer had a habitat which is where animals live like habitat is is is what you would call an area where things live so for instance uh the habitat for rhinoceros might be uh in Africa right or the habitat for um I'm trying to think of a good example mosquitoes is Florida um the habitat for cheese is my belly ah you do love cheese you do love cheese a lot huh uh so that's like hay's habitat is in my because that's where hay lives right yeah I mean I yes yes yes uh no I think habitat is more for animals and not as much for things so like for instance my sock drawer is not the habitat for my socks I don't think but maybe we should find some sort of an expert that could uh could tell us all this stuff oh no well I say I say I say I heard that you was looking for an expert in something and anytime I hear the word expert I realize that I Rufus T. Rufus am being called to answer some sort of a question because I don't know if you know this but I am not just a lawyer but I am also a whiz at knowledge of things and I'm not just a lawyer but I am also a whiz at knowledge of things and I'm don't know if you wouldn't believe a buncha more easy things than this you know the first thing I do is I talk about you know STEEL and esta and stuff I know all sorts of things if you understand what I'm saying you know he's got a good point there Nattie uh Rufus he one time he I dropped a whole uh box of toothpicks and he looked down and he said 7 14 and I said what is that and he said that's how many toothpicks no are on the floor that's so it's a guess he guessed it doesn't mean okay but he's an expert like counter is what I'm saying he's good at counting no and count on him No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I… He's not an expert. Did you actually count the toothpicks when you picked them up, or did you just take his word for it? Because he's been known to fib every so often, or all the time. I regret that indubitably, because I never make stuff up. I may twist the truth from here to yonder, but I would never, ever make up a facsimile of the truth. And I do remember that day, Aloysius, that the toothpicks fell, and I counted them immediately on the floor, and I started up a new business on top of my law firm, and it's called Count On Me, because I can count things quickly. So if you have, let's say, a stack of nails, I can look at it, and I'll tell you how many nails you have. So if you have a job, and you know you need 173 nails, I can tell you if you've got 173 nails, or maybe you have 145 nails. That's not enough. You need 173. You can count on me. We have a theme song, too. Hold on one second. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Because you can't count on yourself. But wait. No, you can't. That's terrible. But you can always count. Count on me. Okay. I'm trying to be nice. I'm thrilled that you have your own business, and it's a very specific business where you count things for people. And I'm amazed that people pay you for it. And I'm really impressed that you came up with a theme song, but I don't like in a theme song where you say you can't count on yourself. That doesn't seem very nice at all. I don't like how it… What that says. I think it's just, I think he was just trying to be catchy. Cause it's just like, you can count on me. You can count on, but you can't count on yourself. Yeah. I don't like it either. It's not nice. How about we could switch it up? Let's make that our exercise for today. Let's think of a better way to frame the argument. Not, not that it's an argument. We're not fighting or nothing. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. But you can't count on yourself. Count on yourself. I was going right back to the same thing. Yeah, see, you was going right back cause it's just a natural progression. You can count on me, but why do you need to count on me? Why can't you do it yourself? Maybe you're too busy. Ooh. Busy. Busy. That's it, that's it. Hold on one second. See, you can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Because, or when. It's when you. Aren't too busy. So, you can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. When you get too busy, you can count on me. That sounds much nicer. You know what? I'm glad we workshopped this. I'm glad that we talked this through. I appreciate you guys. And if you ever need to count anything, you know what? You can count on me. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. See you later, Rufus. Thanks for stopping by. Head on out. We'll see you later. Okay. We'll count on you. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. See you later. That was exciting. He didn't answer. The more exciting part. He didn't answer the question. You like said something and he appeared to give you some sort of knowledge and then he just disappeared, which means he's just kind of gone, which means we don't have to put up with him, which is amazing. Okay. That was a win-win for everything. What were we talking about before he came in here? I don't even remember. I don't even remember. I don't even remember. I don't even know. I think it had something to do with socks, environment, habitats. We were talking about habitats. That's what we were talking about. We were trying to figure out if habitats are just for living things like bears or pigeons, I guess, or if they can be for other things. Like, because I said cheese and then I said socks and you said hay for your sty. So he came, but he was talking about something completely different. And we never got even to ask him a question, and he left. So you know what? I think that we're just going to have to do some research and figure that out ourselves. What is a habitat? Who does it mean? Like, who does it stand for? Does it stand for animate objects, which are like living things or inanimate objects, too, which are like non-living things? Like, for instance, is the habitat for garbage? The, the, the, the landfill? I don't know. I know one place that is definitely not the habitat for garbage. That's the ocean. That's a big problem. We're polluting our waters. Why would we do that? That's the animal's habitat. Oh, wait a minute. Now we're getting a thing where the habitats are fighting each other. The garbage habitat versus the animal habitat. My mind is officially blown. Yeah, I'm going to go take a nap. My head hurts. This is too much thinking. We normally don't think quite this much on the Bumper Podcast. By the way, Natty, tell everybody who's new here, the Bumper Podcast-cateers, to go subscribe and like and rate the podcast because we love doing it, but we love to hear your feedback. And we take all your words very seriously, probably. That's me, Aloysius J. Pig. If you get bored on Facebook. If you go to Facebook. If you go to the official Natty Bumper Car Facebook page, we're going to be doing videos for the time being every day, little 15-minute videos, just to ease your boredom a little bit because, you know, we are kind of stuck inside, and so that'll be a fun thing to do. Maybe we'll learn something. I doubt it. Thanks, Pig. But maybe. It'll be fun. I promise. Good night, everybody. Night, Pig. So, yeah, I'm Natty Bumper Car. I'm a comedian. We make a family-friendly, fun podcast, and we want you to listen to it. You guys who listen, you're the Bumper Podcast Cateers, and I love you. You're awesome. Stay safe. Keep your hands clean. Get a lot of sleep. Drink a lot of water. Only take one bath a day. Okay? Okay. Perfecto. See you on the other side.