Tag: Costumes

  • Bumperpodcast #464 – Season 3 – Halloween

    Bumperpodcast #464 – Season 3 – Halloween

    The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!


    About This Episode

    In Bumperpodcast episode 464, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's completely missed Halloween after getting too caught up in organizing a comedy festival. Rufus T. Rufus reveals that while Natty was busy, the gang went to a Halloween party as a "country breakfast" costume group—with Rufus as a biscuit, Aloysious as orange juice, and someone as eggs and bacon. They even won the costume contest! Now Natty is left with a room full of Halloween decorations, bobbing-for-apples equipment, and no way to return them since the pop-up Halloween store has mysteriously vanished. The episode features hilarious discussions about the ephemeral nature of seasonal Halloween stores, the stress of return desk interactions, and GPS robots with attitudes. Producer suggests they move on to planning the next holiday: Thanksgiving.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween. I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “We did a group costume. I was eggs and bacon and Aloysious was orange juice… you were supposed to be gravy but you never showed up to the party.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I went back to the Halloween store and it was gone. Like tumbleweeds in the store. Gone. They just appear out of night.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #holidays #costumes #timemanagement #shopping #seasonalstores #comedyfestival #thanksgiving

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween

    Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come

    Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got

    Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go

    Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are you in for and they're like i have an online order to pick up and you're like oh oh oh i'm trying to return something do you know do you know if it matters if i'm standing and they're like i don't i can't say anything i don't want to get in trouble all right i don't want to lose my spot in line because i'm trying to explain to you something that i don't even know the answer to okay so there's that kind of stress then you get to the front of the line and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there they'll say what do you want and you say i have a return and they say you're in the wrong line and you look around there's no other lines there's there's places for lines and they just stare at you until you move out this line you go to that line you walk through the thing and then bing bang boom you're up at the front but look at that somehow there's a it's just 16 people in the line where you just were and now you're back in the back of the line and you're in the front of the back of the back and if you ever even make it to the front you know if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front then they uh why you know they real they really why are you here huh you know and you're like i gotta return all this stuff okay got a receipt i actually don't have a receipt well do you have an account with us i don't know let's try this phone number that didn't work perfect um what do i have the credit card that i used i don't know what credit card i used i don't know let's try this one that didn't work perfect yeah i've got other credit card you know it's just this ordeal to the point where i just keep the stuff okay then i put it all in the yard sale next year and then it's someone else's problem or gift or whatever you will have i do like to keep receipts because those are legally binding uh documents and uh legally binding uh documents that we got legally binding right and so i keep a record of them i keep boxes of them and then i store the box i put the dates on the box and so i got all these receipts i got all these records but you know i i twisted my toe the other day so i can't i'm not as mobile as i once was so i will uh i will have to i can find the the the the paper trail but i'm gonna have to defer to someone else and i assume aloysius if you ain't going to go in then uh i guess it's all right maybe it's up to you natty maybe oh maybe you producer seems like something you might enjoy going to talking to

    Rufus T. Rufus: people and whatnot i'm actually very busy you know uh we're getting ready for the next holiday show's a big holiday coming up uh thanksgiving and everything so yeah i'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you natty you can take care of it you're the one who slept through

    Natty Bumpercar: halloween anyway right wait no i will not accept the nickname is gravy that is a terrible nickname and that is not fair and i won't take it but i will take the stuff back because we do yeah we do gravy

    Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for the money listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon

  • Bumperpodcast #361 – Lil’ Monsta

    Bumperpodcast #361 – Lil’ Monsta

    Today, we have a very special guest to bring in the season on the right foot. It’s Lil’ Monsta – and, Natty has absolutely no idea how to handle him. Listen to the fun, and – you’ll see!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!


    About This Episode

    In this special Halloween episode of Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is surprised by the annual visit of Lil Monster, a recurring guest who only speaks in monster language. Aloysius J. Pig explains that Lil Monster appears every year for their Halloween episode, much to Natty's confusion. Rufus T. Rufus makes his typical disruptive entrance with legal concerns, while Producer briefly pops in hoping for beverages. Despite the language barrier and chaos, the gang manages to interview Lil Monster about his busy year. Natty shares his excitement about suburban Halloween traditions like "ghosting" neighbors with treat bags, and reveals his plans for three different Halloween costumes including a gorilla and Super Mario. Aloysius keeps it simple with his classic "pig in a blanket" costume.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm going to be what I am every year, which is the easiest and best costume in the whole wide world. I wear a blanket because it's kind of chilly, and I'm a pig in a blanket.”

    — Aloysius J. Pig

    “Please do not refer to me as a monster. I am not furry. I have, my nose is not big and orange. I do not have any horns.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “Here's a scary thing, though. When you're out there, you're ghosting people left and right. But then what happens if no one ghosts you? What happens, my friend, when the ghost is un-ghosted?”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #costumes #lilmonster #holidays #trickortreating #suburbanlife #ghostingtradition

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Lil Monster, Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, well, well, hello there everybody. It's me, Natty Bumpercart. I get- What?

    Lil Monster: What is this? Who are you? Okay. Okay. There's a monster in the room. There's a monster in the studio. There's a monster in here with me right now. Ka-do, ka-do, ka-da, ka-da, ka-do, ka-do, ka-da.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Hey, hey, uh, hey, Natty. It's me, Aloysius J. Pig, and I see you met my friend. His name is Lil Monster. Okay, like L-A-L.

    Lil Monster: Like L-A-L? I don't- How do you spell it? Sorry. I don't speak monster. I'm so sorry.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't know what you're saying to me. You seem very- You seem very emphatic about whatever it is that you're trying to say to me, though.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Yeah, so it's L-I-L apostrophe M-O-N-S-T-A. Lil Monster. So that's his name, Lil Monster.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay, Lil Monster. Nice to meet you. My name is Natty Bumpercart, and this is my house, and you're in my studio, and I was just reporting- Reporting. I'm kind of nervous. Recording a podcast. So it's called the Bumper Podcast.

    Aloysius J. Pig: It's a bumper podcast. He knows. He's here every year. This is your big Halloween episode, because Halloween's going to be this upcoming week, and so we always like to, you know, have Lil Monster in, so he can talk about what he's been doing, his gigs he's been up to, kind of shenanigans, whatnot. You'll understand. A lot of what- Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: What's up? What? What? What? So is this really something that we do every single year, because it doesn't- I mean, like, it's great that you're here, but I don't- No, I was looking at our podcast analytics, which is, like, how many people listen, and I don't know how many people listen that can speak monster, so I don't want to-

    Aloysius J. Pig: Don't segregate your audience, okay? Don't just assume that nobody out there speaks monster, because a lot more people speak monster than you know about these days. You look- There's stories out there, there's monster-speaking people everywhere. Door lingo? Yeah, that's- yeah. They got a monster speech. All right. So you can learn to speak monster. What I'm saying is, he's been on the show for years and years and years, and you gotta respect him, okay? Okay? He brings something to the table. He brings a niche audience that is very fervent, and very excited about the show, and he shares it on social media, and so you gotta have- He's a little monster.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, well, well. Hello, everyone, on this bumper podcast, bumper car, bumper, bumper car podcast Halloween. I don't understand if we have the branding down exactly. It's our Rufus T. Rufus, the lawyer of the bumper podcast, and-

    Natty Bumpercar: Speaking of monsters, everybody, here's Rufus T. Rufus, the lawyer, to come and try to steal my show again, I suppose.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, we're fine. I understand. Now, you need to settle down, little monster, because I have in my possession some paperwork that was not signed by you, and so you are not authorized to even be in the building. I do not believe you have a badge on. I don't know how you made it past security. But you- Sir, I'm not authorized legally, authorized legally to be in here. So, I will ask you, sir- Rufus. To settle, settle it down. No use, Rufus. Settle it down a bit. And, uh, Mr. Bumper Car- Relax. Please do not refer to me as a monster. I am not furry. I have, my nose is not big and orange. I do not have any horns.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Okay, Rufus.

    Rufus T. Rufus: So, I would appreciate, sir, if you digressed.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Hey, Rufus. Listen, uh, I'll get whatever paperwork you guys, uh, with you. I'll get all that settled, but we gotta do the Halloween package. We gotta talk to little monster. He's very busy. He's supposed to be on some other shows, uh, very soon. And so, I don't wanna hold him up, and I don't wanna hold up other people. Because that's how we get a big reputation, okay? Now, can you bring me a- So, we'll be with you. We'll come by your office.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Bring me a beverage of my choice. All right? Fine, we'll bring that. Thank you. Now, let's just get going. Okay, I'm gonna- I'll skidoo, absolutely. But I just want you to know that I would like for my beverage to be, uh, silky smooth, cold, and righteous. So, that's what I'll be drinking today. All right, can you go- Everyone, this has been Rufus, T. Rufus, and I do apologize for taking your time.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so- Toodaloodin'. Toodaloodin'. Uh, oh boy. Um, just glad he's gone. So, monster, I suppose- I should, uh- Little monster.

    Unknown: Little.

    Natty Bumpercar: Little monster. Yeah, sorry about that. It's okay.

    Unknown: Uh, now that it's me, producer, and I was saying that the levels for me, monster, are perfect, and I have everything working out very well for you, and I hope that everything on the show is to your satisfaction. Okay. It's very good. And also-

    Natty Bumpercar: Thanks, producer.

    Unknown: If you guys are getting a drink for Rufus- No. And I would also like to have some sort of a drink or beverage, because I'm going to be thirsty, too. Yeah, we're not going out- If that's okay with you, then that's okay with me. Yeah, we're not going out. Um- We're not going out for drinks. Oh. Yeah. We just said that to- We're not taking drink orders? No, we just said that to get rid of Rufus. No one's making a run? No. No. Okay.

    Natty Bumpercar: No one's making a run. Okay. Okay.

    Unknown: I'll go back into the booth. Okay. The producer booth, and I will just turn a thing to doing. You're doing a great job. Bye. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thanks, producer. Good job, little monster. See you next year.

    Natty Bumpercar: He's still here. He's here for the rest of the episode, so you- And you can actually say hi to him after we finish recording. I'm sorry about that, everyone. Normally, producer doesn't just pop into the show like that, but I guess he heard that we were going to make a run for some beverages, and he decided that it was his time to jump in to the fray. Anyway, okay. So, um- I'm woefully unprepared, because I didn't even know we were having little monster as a guest today. But maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about what you do, little monster, or how your last year was, because evidently you've been here every year, so that'll be kind of fun. Wow.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah. Serious business. We're looking forward to seeing you again. Let's see if I could talk about some of the little monsters he calls a little monster, but also a little monster. Or who knows? A little monster of like coammum versus a big monster, no matter what.

    Lil Monster: Yeah, I should know.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I should know. Yo man, let's see. You're such a Norris Toddy.

    Aloysius J. Pig: That was fun. That really happened? Okay? What? All right, that seems like he had a pretty busy year. Listen, Natty. He said he's got to go. He said we held him up with all that other stuff. It's always a pleasure to see you, bro. I'll see you on the flip side. Maybe at the Halloween party. There's a Halloween party? What are you going to be dressed as?

    Natty Bumpercar: Wait, there's a Halloween party? Where is it? Can I come? No one told me there's a Halloween party. Can I please come to the… I like parties, and I like Halloween,

    Lil Monster: and I have a cool costume.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I don't speak monster.

    Natty Bumpercar: See you later. Thanks, little monster. Well, maybe somebody will invite me to the Halloween party. I would love to go. I have a really cool costume. Pig, what do you think you're going to be for Halloween?

    Aloysius J. Pig: I'm going to be what I am every year, which is the easiest and best costume in the whole wide world. I wear a blanket because it's kind of chilly, and I'm a pig in a blanket. It's like, what? Bam. That's my costume. Everybody sees it. Everybody's like, look at Pig. Aloysius. Yeah. Pairing it up again.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pig in a blanket. That's a lot more on the nose than I was expecting from you. Cool. So, here's a fun thing that I didn't know about until we moved out here to the suburbs. There's a thing called ghosting. You've been ghosted. They also say you've been booed. Booed. But not like that. I get booed all the time when I'm on stage. No. What? Yeah. No. Oh. What it is, is you take like a little baggie. You make a little gift bag, basically. We use brown paper bags, and we draw ghosts on them. And you put treats in there. Either some Halloween candy or some little doodads or whatever. And you go to your friend's house, and you put it on their doorstep, and you ring the doorbell, and you run. So your car is waiting for you, and then your person, your friend, comes out, and they're like, Oh, there's a treat on my front porch. I've been booed. I've been ghosted. Look at me. Ghosted with a mosted. And you don't put your name on there or anything. And so it's a big mystery. Who did this to me? Who could have possibly? It's a fun little thing that I really enjoy doing with the kids. And so we're going to do that, I think, tonight, actually. I've got to get my bags all packed because they're kicking me out. No. I've got to get the bags packed so we can go out ghosting. Um, here's a scary thing, though. When you're out there, you're ghosting people left and right. But then what happens if no one ghosts you? What happens, my friend, when the ghost is un-ghosted? Muahahaha! No, I honestly don't know. That hasn't happened. And it'll probably be a sad and bad scene if it does. Anyway, I've got to go exercise because I've got to fit into my gorilla costume that I'm wearing for Halloween. It's a little thing I got and I'm pretty excited about it. And I have three costumes this year because I'm hosting three different Halloween shows. So I figure I wanted to mix it up a little bit. Maybe I'll be a gorilla one day, maybe I'll be Mario another day, like Super Mario. And then another day I might be a gorilla wearing a Mario hat. Who knows? Or a gorilla wearing a Mario costume. It really it's it can go. It can go all kinds of different ways. So you go out this weekend, ghost your friends, have a blast, take care of yourself. We'll see you on on the flip side, I think is what we said to Lil Monsta. Oh, don't forget to follow Lil Monsta on all of his. I don't know if he has really anything. But anyway, this has been Natty Bumpercar. And this has been the Nattie Bumpercar Show. And this has been The Bumper Podcast. And you have been the best, booooo.

  • Bumperpodcast #337 – Happy Halloween

    Bumperpodcast #337 – Happy Halloween

    Natty is cleaning in the recording booth – when he looks over to realize that the microphone is on and recording. So – he talks a bit about the Halloween party that is about to happen at Headquarters. Then – a bunch of other stuff happens…

    We have missed you a bunch. I hope you have missed us, too.

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     


    About This Episode

    Natty Bumpercar accidentally starts recording while preparing for a Halloween party in the basement studio. In this emotional return episode, he shares the sad news that Irving Brown Socks, the beloved 15-year-old border collie/black lab mix who served as the show's marketing manager, has passed away. The crew discusses their Halloween costume plans, with Aloysious J. Pig planning to dress as an angel, while Rufus T. Rufus threatens legal action over improper moving procedures and musical improv violations. Doodle Poodle offers to take over social media duties, and the gang explains why they've been absent from podcasting lately.

    Memorable Quotes

    “There's dust bunnies nerfing around. I had to feed them some dust carrots because that's what they eat.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Just because you have talent doesn't mean you're gonna make it because maybe you ain't so professional with your silly name Natty Bumpercar.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “All the candy has been checked for perfection because nothing that ain't perfect ain't eating going through my lips.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #halloween #petloss #costumes #returningfromhiatus #grief #partyplanning #tribute

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: all right let's see here move that and okay and oh did somebody turn this on no it's recording right now the fight okay hey uh everyone i guess i'm sorry hey this is natty bumper car and uh i was actually moving some stuff around here in the basement because we're getting ready for our big halloween party and i didn't notice but i looked over the computer and the bumper podcast is recording um let me just move some more of this stuff around here and okay uh sorry uh we haven't recorded in a long time and so we i you know the the studio has spider webs and cobwebs and uh and what is the difference between a spider web and a cobweb who cares uh and there's dust bunnies nerfing around i had to feed them some uh some dust carrots because that's what they eat uh but i hey i guess while you're here you know let's let's catch up let's see what's going on with you i'll tell you what's going on with me uh a lot has been going on where have we been i know you're asking that well yeah hey bro

    Aloysious J. Pig: it's uh me aloysius jpeg hey pig what's going on yeah hi uh so anyway i was carrying around these marshmallow uh jack-o'-lanterns uh-huh and for the party yep and i was

    Natty Bumpercar: wondering i have a question huh what are you going to be for the party that's an excellent

    Aloysious J. Pig: question well my friend let me tell you let me tell you please do you have to do that big

    Rufus T. Rufus: well now excuse me everyone that's right it's me your lawyer mr rufus i'm happy to be here today for a hollows eve party all the candy has been checked for perfection because you know nothing that ain't perfect ain't eating going through my uh lips now however i do have a question for you okay uh-huh now if you're moving all this stuff around yeah i am am i to understand that you have filled out all the proper paperwork for moving such because you are the talent mr and i not want you slipping a disc throwing something out or hither or hother or wither or weather if you understand what i am

    Natty Bumpercar: talking about honestly i very rarely understand much of what you're saying or what you're talking about but no i haven't filled out any paperwork i'm just cleaning up a little bit i'm moving some stuff around um and you know i was and then i looked over and the microphone was on and so i was like oh my goodness we must be recording a podcast right now and so i just kind of started talking about it and i was like oh my goodness we must be recording a podcast right now and so i again because you are the talent sir exactly talent but then pig came over and he was going to tell us what his costume was going to be so i'm well i'll talk to you in a second rufus but

    Aloysious J. Pig: let me talk back to pig for just a second one second yeah uh so anyway before i was so rudely in a row oh my god why does it happen every time i try to talk hi i'm sorry everybody it's

    Doodle Poodle: me me I hope i'm not opening myself up to any kind of criminal court a case or what have you in public

    Rufus T. Rufus: determination but Mr. Bumpercar there is something wrong with that dog right there

    Natty Bumpercar: all right okay listen rufus there's nothing wrong with doodle poodle he just that's just who he is that's how he's always been he's a he's a poodle and he likes to draw and it's kind of he's a little bit one-dimensional but you understand that's what he is that's what he does that's what he loves doodle poodle poodle who likes to make doodles uh anyway pig i'm so sorry you're being interrupted

    Aloysious J. Pig: um so let's talk about uh your costume i suppose well uh i apologize a bit but i'm gonna i'm gonna go off on a bit of a uh swerve here doodle poodle reminded me of um so your your your boy uh irving brown socks oh he's gonna be coming i suppose as a ghost pig that's

    Natty Bumpercar: it's horrible that's mean uh so hey everybody listen to the bumper podcast i'm not trying to bring this party down at all um but i should let you know that we did have a bit of a change here at headquarters not a change an event i suppose it's called um our sweet little pupperdew irving brown socks uh is no longer with us he was a very sick sweet old dog he was 15 years old and he was he was a very sick sweet old dog he was 15 years old and he was a very sick sweet old dog and he was he was a border collie black lab you know him you saw him um and he got very sick and so he passed away and hopefully in an uh an upcoming episode we're going to do a tribute to him which will be very nice and i'm sure based on the way that everything seems to go here uh very respectful right um you know and just something just to uh to remember him by it's been a tough month i'm not the only reason we haven't recorded but it's certainly a large reason why we haven't recorded um and while i have missed you tremendously and i have missed the bumper podcast tremendously um it's been an interesting month for me and for everyone here at headquarters trying to put ourselves back together a little bit um so yeah sure pig if that's how you want to play it irving will be here at our halloween party which i'm actually kind of cool with because that just means he's still here which makes me happy so thanks thanks for thanks well thanks nice transition yeah i'm a professional in the

    Aloysious J. Pig: business i mean uh rufus is saying you're the talent but uh listen bro cool it's your talents and everything i'm the professional if you understand what i'm saying so i'm the one who's getting the jobs and whatever the what have you the whatnot the one with a career or whatever you are talented that you grew up you were born with this innate talent uh but here's the thing in the industry i know a lot about the industry uh just because you have talent doesn't mean you're gonna make it because maybe you ain't so professional maybe with your silly name natty bumper car maybe people are gonna look at you and be like uh whatever bro you ain't coming into my place your name is too silly i'll get going move on but me aloysius j pig people hear that name and they're like that's a professional right

    Rufus T. Rufus: there that's a pig who knows what he's doing who knows the industry who's gonna get things done natty uh to the pig's point i do have some forms some requisitions for potential new names for you if you would ever uh like to update your imdb perhaps your wikipedia and uh change your name so that people don't uh poo you as much as they uh do if you understand what i'm saying however i have been sticking around in this podcast currently i'm late for a probate court uh appearance but i was wondering if we are ever going to find out what the pig is wearing and while i'm talking about the pig it reminds me that i should send my condolences i did send you an edible arrangement uh in lieu of uh flowers for mr irving he was a wonderful dog i know that he was your uh he was uh uh what was it called again he was my marketing manager so he

    Natty Bumpercar: did all the social media he wrote all the press releases he uh he didn't build the websites but he would write a lot of the content for it um so we were kind of trying to figure out who's going to do all that stuff another reason why we haven't had a podcast is i didn't have the infrastructure to do all that stuff so um maybe it's something

    Doodle Poodle: that i would be able to handle moving forward you know one dog moves out one dog moves in

    Aloysious J. Pig: yeah maybe just yeah he's got a good point there bumps yeah let the silly dog do it okay yeah yeah i'm kidding yeah okay i'm joking anyway spotlight back on me back where it should always be look at me and you will see what am i going to be tonight for halloween would you like to take a guess no just look at how i'm dressed okay and you will be impressed oh this is

    Rufus T. Rufus: dangerously close to musical improv i was just gonna step in yeah uh we have an explicit there's a sign over there that says no musical improv on the bumper podcast or in any affiliations involved revolving or being around natty bumper car i am so sorry you know how the industry feels about improvisation don't you of course they're not appreciative of it um what's going to be next are you going to fall into a an improv duo i almost oh excuse me i have a little bit of a little bit of hot burn oh i do not feel good at all what was in that punch bowl over there it was on rancid i believe my stomach is telling me some things oh my word okay listen we're not okay pig

    Natty Bumpercar: i i i don't mind you making up cute little songs um and i'm not gonna call it musical improv because i know how you feel about that um but listen hey it's been great coming back i've missed you guys so much i'm so excited that we're having a big halloween party um and we'll just go around the horn and we'll all sit down and we'll all sit down and we'll all sit down and we'll all sit down what halloween costume we're going to be and i will rapid fire start off with uh doodle foodle i'm gonna be a can of soup that's terrifying um rufus d i'm gonna be a man in a suit with a brief case and some intentions that's just not no no it's not okay now uh me i'm gonna be a um dumb dumb lollipop all right settle down

    Aloysious J. Pig: and uh aloesha's jay pig i'm gonna be an angel pig i like i got these angel wings and a little halo that i like to put on and it's multi-purpose because i get it now and then i get to break it out again in a couple seasons so and it's really my best look people get to see my little twistly little tail and everything and they're like oh check out that little angel pig over there any of the cutest and then i got uh angel dust that i draw around like glitter and whatnot so it's really pretty uh pretty tight

    Natty Bumpercar: okay well awesome well thank you guys so much for coming to the bumper podcast uh maybe next year you're gonna come to our halloween party we we will put some invitations together we hope to be back again next week we hope to get back on schedule we hope to do a lot of things we have a lot of hope right now and uh we hope you have an awesome halloween and that you're tremendous and that you're fabulous and that you're our favorite and that you're the best bumper bumper podcast kateers and uh hugs and hearts bro hugs and hugs you

  • Bumperpodcast #309 – Halloween Kids

    Bumperpodcast #309 – Halloween Kids

    The kids and I babble on about Halloween, and stuff. They are harder to herd than kittens.

    Here it is – the new podcast that everyone is talking about. The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals! 

    It’s almost too much to bear – isn’t it? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    Don’t forget to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976.

     

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

     


    About This Episode

    In this chaotic Halloween special of the Bumperpodcast, host Natty Bumpercar is joined by two young guests, Ollie and Emerson, for a wild conversation about trick-or-treating, costumes, and candy. The trio discusses their Halloween adventures including two parades, parties, and collecting candy—including full-size candy bars that mysteriously went missing. They also talk about their carved pumpkin named "Daddy Junior Oliver Junior" that was eaten by squirrels, and debate whether pumpkins are fruits or vegetables. The episode features improvisational comedy, chaotic energy, and plans for next year's Halloween yard decorations involving Muppets and cliffs.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Hey, little kids, if you think a pumpkin is a vegetable, it's a fruit, everyone.”

    — Ollie

    “The face was taken off because those little, little squirrels are eating my little pumpkin.”

    — Emerson

    “The only thing this basement is haunted by is by the dog peeing in it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #trick-or-treating #candy #costumes #pumpkins #kids #family

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hello there everyone it's me natty bumper car and this is the bumper podcast and today i have two very special guests who are you you're who that's not even a name is it is that your name yeah that's a nice name and what's your name emerson yeah yeah he was trying to think of something pretty pretty clever you're trying to be clever and slick eh what are we what are we talking about today guys oh i know who i am oh wait now you know who you are perfect who are you i'm just gonna sing oh you're that's your name oh

    Unknown: hi just gonna sing how you doing no i'm thinking of my name okay you clearly said sing no i didn't

    Natty Bumpercar: i don't like to sing you don't do you like the movie sing no okay ollie do you like the movie sing yeah what's your favorite character on the movie sing johnny who's johnny which one is he

    Unknown: he's a gorilla silly

    Natty Bumpercar: he's a silly gorilla or am i a silly silly

    Unknown: so oh wait perfect who are you um i'm oh uh

    Natty Bumpercar: oh hey what's up jay how you doing huh you jay you in my house huh you like to sing i heard huh

    Unknown: no i don't like to sing i hate singing oh okay

    Natty Bumpercar: hey so jay what are you gonna talk about today huh we're gonna talk about something what are we gonna talk about um what are you here for on the on the

    Unknown: trick-or-treating we're gonna talk about trick-or-treating and halloween nope

    Natty Bumpercar: oh yeah i think that it's a good idea i think it's a fun thing we can recap you can just talk buddy what what are you gonna whisper to me okay so emerson had something to whisper to me And we had to pause the podcast. But now we're back. And now we're going to talk about, I don't know, trick-or-treating Halloween. We're going to talk about trick-or-treating. We're going to talk about costumes and trick-or-Halloween-ing.

    Unknown: What's the blue stuff?

    Natty Bumpercar: The blue stuff down there?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's just, those are called waveforms. And when you record, when you talk into a microphone, the computer is taking in your sound. Cool. And it's giving you a graphical representation of what the peaks and valleys of your voice are. So if you talk a little bit louder, then you'll notice that the peaks up there go a little bit higher, huh? And if you talk really quietly, then they're going to be really, really, really low. Yeah, right? So, Ollie, what did you do for Halloween? I got candy. Do you love candy?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, Emerson got a lot of candy. You know, some. Some people were giving out full-size. Candy bars. Candy bars. I saw a full-size Snickers bar.

    Unknown: And I lost it.

    Natty Bumpercar: You lost it?

    Unknown: And I also lost my full-size Snick-um-Skittles.

    Natty Bumpercar: How does that happen? How does that?

    Unknown: I think I left them at, I think I left them at.

    Natty Bumpercar: Blah and Blah's house?

    Unknown: No, not Blah and Blah's house. I. What are you doing? I left them at my coffee shop. Right, Daddy?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, that's right. That's it. I'm not being sarcastic.

    Unknown: I'm not being sarcastic.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm not being sarcastic at all. I'm not being sarcastic. So, what did we do? That was a big day. We had two parades. Ollie had a parade and then you had a, and then, and then we had to pick you up and they got you dressed. What was your costume?

    Unknown: I can't hear you guys. Oh, I know who it is. I know who it is. It's, it's. Oh, the music stopped. Don't worry. It's, it's. Oh, that's weird.

    Natty Bumpercar: Is it somebody from?

    Unknown: Pickle and Peanut.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, no, not Pickle and Peanut. Pickle and Peanut's scary. Yeah. What is Pickle and Peanut? Don't they do a lot of songs like, oosh, oosh, oosh, oosh. Oosh, oosh, oosh. Pickle and Peanut. Oosh, oosh, oosh, oosh. Oosh, oosh, oosh, oosh. What do you want? Pickle and Peanut. Pickle, Pickle and, Pickle and Peanut.

    Unknown: So cute. We made the show, everyone.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Did you, and we went to, so we had two parades and then we went to a party. What'd you do, what'd you do at the party?

    Unknown: We ate lots of candy.

    Natty Bumpercar: At the party you did?

    Unknown: What party?

    Natty Bumpercar: The first party.

    Unknown: The Justin. Oh, we ate Rice Krispies. Justin.

    Natty Bumpercar: No, no, not that party. That's a birthday party.

    Unknown: Justin.

    Natty Bumpercar: But that was a birthday party. That was a birthday party. We went to a Halloween party, remember?

    Unknown: Oh, yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: And it was a backyard. It was a backyard and you guys were swinging.

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Unknown: Wait, what on what?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you have any recollection of Halloween at all?

    Unknown: What did you say, Dad?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you remember anything from Halloween?

    Unknown: No.

    Natty Bumpercar: No.

    Unknown: What did you say, guys?

    Natty Bumpercar: I said, do you remember anything from Halloween?

    Unknown: There can't be a game.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, give this to Emerson. It's his turn. You guys are awesome.

    Unknown: Oh, come on. Wait. Microphone. Microphone.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, what are we going to do now?

    Unknown: I think.

    Natty Bumpercar: I feel like we've had better conversations. Remember, we weren't going to yell because you know what that does? What? It hurts people's ears.

    Unknown: Yeah, man. And then they get amnesia.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then they get amnesia.

    Unknown: And then their ear bleeds.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. This is taking a real turn for the worse.

    Unknown: And then their ears blow up.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. Because this is the worst story I've ever heard in my entire life.

    Unknown: And then the ears are dead.

    Natty Bumpercar: All right, well, so, since they have no, don't touch the microphone, since they have no recollection as to what happened on Halloween, which I was told we were going to talk about.

    Unknown: About, we were talking about candy, and Daddy was going to be like.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did we give out any candy at our house?

    Unknown: Nope.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, why not?

    Unknown: Because I stole a little bit.

    Natty Bumpercar: You did?

    Unknown: Yeah. Now I have. Now I have 100. 59 pieces.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, remember what happened to our pumpkin, where we carved it, and then we put it out, and then we came home, and what had happened to it?

    Unknown: The face fell off because of the.

    Natty Bumpercar: Did the face fall off, or was the face taken off?

    Unknown: The face was taken off because those little, little squirrels are eating my little pumpkin.

    Natty Bumpercar: And then what did you do? Daddy Junior. That's the name of the pumpkin? I didn't know the pumpkin had a name. And I really didn't know it was named Daddy Pumpkin. Daddy Junior.

    Unknown: And his last name was Oliver Junior.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's his last name? Yeah. So his first name is Daddy Junior, and his last name is Oliver Junior?

    Unknown: And his nickname is Allison Junior.

    Natty Bumpercar: And his nickname, this is ridiculous. No, it's not.

    Unknown: His nickname, no, his nickname's called Pumpkin Man.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pumpkin Man, Pumpkin Man, doing everything that a pumpkin can.

    Unknown: And that flat pumpkin that we put it outside, his name is called Oliver Superhero. Oliver Superhero.

    Natty Bumpercar: That's a really funny name. That's not true. So is Super his middle name?

    Unknown: Hey, little kids, if you think a pumpkin is a vegetable, it's a fruit, everyone. Wait, is that true? Yeah. And you make pumpkin pie, guys.

    Natty Bumpercar: It's true, everyone.

    Unknown: I don't know if that's true.

    Natty Bumpercar: It grows on the ground.

    Unknown: It is. Well, it's a gourd.

    Natty Bumpercar: It does sprout, yeah. I feel like now we're getting into something.

    Unknown: And then it grows. And then it grows green, and then it grows a big, big, big orange pumpkin. And do you know, we're in a haunted basement.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't feel like this basement is haunted, is it?

    Unknown: No, because.

    Natty Bumpercar: The only thing this basement is haunted by is by the dog peeing in it. Ew.

    Unknown: There's ghosts.

    Natty Bumpercar: What? There's ghosts. There's ghosts?

    Unknown: Can I have one of your paintings, please?

    Natty Bumpercar: No. You've already got several in your room.

    Unknown: Really?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.

    Unknown: There's several. Who, Dad?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I hear you. You're sitting on my lap. I can see you saying, ooh. Ooh. You're not a very. Whoa. Now, what is that? That, I have no idea what it was. Oh, my goodness. I'm so scared. Ooh. Ew, fox pee. Oh, stop it, Emerson. That's rude. Let's go. That's doggy potty talk. All right. Well, so that was our Halloween. We went trick-or-treating. We went to two parties. We did two parades. We went out walking for about an hour and a half, and then we came home, and no one had come to our house except for a squirrel who ate our pumpkin. The end. And we all got stomach aches, and the next day, it was very rough to go to school. Some people didn't want to go to school, and some people had a very rough day at school because we have a difficult time. If we have a big night the next day, watch out, right?

    Unknown: Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. That's what happened to you. Ooh.

    Unknown: There's a ghost.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, my goodness. Oh, and there was a cool house that had a Jaws theme, and they had all these cool cut-out wooden things, and we've decided that next year, we're going to try to do some sort of cool yard theme, right? Oh, bless you. Do you know what it's going to be?

    Unknown: I think it's going to be Mermaid. It's Halloween.

    Natty Bumpercar: I think it was. Yeah, you're right. It was the Muppets Save Halloween. Good job.

    Unknown: I think it was Elmo Saving Cookie Monster because evil. Grover was pushing him off a cliff, and then Elmo saved him, and he pushed Monster Grover off the cliff, and that's the end.

    Natty Bumpercar: It sounds like we have to build a cliff.

    Unknown: Oh, a real live one?

    Natty Bumpercar: A real live cliff is what we have to build, yes.

    Unknown: How hard.

    Natty Bumpercar: How hard. What? Both of your English language skills have deteriorated. How deep. There you go. How deep. Super deep. Deep. It was super duper deep.

    Unknown: How long was that?

    Natty Bumpercar: Super duper. That's super duper deep. I hit that bass. Boom, bing, boom, bing, boom. That was not very good. I was excited about the song, but then I had the accordion in my head in the wrong state. All right. Can everybody say one, two, three, goodbye? One, two, three.

    Unknown: Goodbye.

    Natty Bumpercar: Emerson, you didn't do it. We're supposed to do it as a team. We're going to say one, two, three. Goodbye. And then it was going to. Goodbye.

    Unknown: Goodbye.

  • Bumperpodcast #196: More Halloween styles

    Bumperpodcast #196: More Halloween styles

    Natty Bumpercar talks Halloween – Halloween – Halloween! Costumes, being a tracker, webs, candy, pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns … And, resumes!

    Do you Halloween? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.


    About This Episode

    In this Halloween-themed episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar faces a costume crisis just two days before Halloween. The costumes he ordered online for his family—including a blue monster with googly eyes and a bunny rabbit inspired by Richard Scarry's Nicholas—are stuck in transit. Natty humorously discusses his failed attempts at tracking the shipment and jokes about his qualifications as a post-apocalyptic tracker. He also shares the chaos of decorating Bumperpodcast headquarters with spiderwebs, his struggle to find time for pumpkin carving in a busy parent schedule, and his desperate need to roast pumpkin seeds before the season ends.

    Memorable Quotes

    “If the apocalypse ever comes and your group needs a tracker boom bumper car is your man. I will well I mean I'm not doing such a good job at it.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I've tied knives to the dog and I've pointed him towards the pumpkins so I suppose that when we get home we'll see what he's done.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “Pumpkin seeds are delicious they're all salt they're just little containers for me to eat salt.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #halloween #costumes #parenting #pumpkincarving #holidays #onlineshopping #timemanagement

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes what's going on everybody it's me natty bumper car and it's the bumper podcast and it's one of the best days of the year why because we're so close to halloween yeah oh boy oh boy oh boy that was real excitement but the thing is i don't have a costume uh the baby bumper car's costume is still in transit so we're two days away now and no one has a costume we're supposed to wander all around town in what nothing we don't have anything this is a real situation that we have i i i live in the future you all know that and so i went online and i i ordered the uh the the costumes we picked stuff out everyone was signed off on it yes i want to be a blue monster with googly eyes and i forget what the rest of the costume is and a beard is what one of them is going to be and the other one's going to be a bunny rabbit because okay richard scary uh what's his name nicholas the bunny those are fine costumes when they get to your house but now they're not here they're in transit i don't know where transit is and i i get numbers tracking numbers and i'm trying like a tracker i'm like a hunter gatherer who has gone out into the wild and is tracking the costumes so if if the world ever ends if the apocalypse ever comes and your group needs a tracker boom bumper car is your man i i will well i mean i'm not doing such a good job at it i want to i don't know if that should be part of my uh resume or part of the interview process i think just the fact that i have the title of tracker is probably good enough i i think that you know that maybe i don't do such a good job maybe you know if you ask me i'm gonna say yeah of course i know how to track and i would rather you not talk to uh any of the people that i'm gonna give you their names for any uh of of my uh or whatever those people are called when you have uh your what are those people called i've been those people before you know hey can you vouch for me vouchers it's not a voucher it's a uh resume people man all right well you know what we're gonna forget that because i have no idea what i'm trying to say anyway tracker bumper car that's me if you need something found i'm your man what are you guys gonna do for halloween what are you gonna be anything are you gonna you're gonna wear costumes are you gonna you're gonna go out and get some candy is your house all decorated we uh we decorated headquarters like pretty well like i got a lot of those webs and i put them on bushes and i put them on the house and i made like you actually have to walk under the webs to get into the house which uh people are not happy with anyone who comes to the house is just like dude why are all the webs everywhere i'm like well it's halloween time this is halloween everybody make a scream halloween halloween halloween time we got three pumpkins that we have not carved yet because who has time to carve pumpkins no one you get up you drop people off at school you go to work you go pick people up from school you can get home you've got homework you've got dinner you've got bath time you've got to read some books sing some songs and then everybody's asleep there's no pumpkin time and then did you hear even a gap a minute a minute um no you did not hear a minute because there's none ah so what i've done is i've i've tied knives i've tied knives to the dog and i've pointed him towards the pumpkins so i suppose that when we get home we'll see what he's done hopefully it's got a scary spooky face and a jack-o'-lantern smile or frown or whatever they have no i don't know i don't know maybe we're just gonna have pumpkins this year maybe we'll paint them i could paint a lot faster than i can cut but if i do that you know what i'm not gonna get pumpkin seeds and i need pumpkin seeds this for the rest the entire year i don't have pumpkin seeds and this is the season of year where i get my my pumpkin seed quota gets filled right now we're in the red i would like to get to the black with pumpkin seeds because they're delicious they're all salt they're just little containers for me to eat so let's do this halloween now