Tag: confusion

  • Bumperpodcast #444 – Season 3 – Characters

    Bumperpodcast #444 – Season 3 – Characters

    Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, A bunch of random people sneak into the studio and record a whole bunch of nothing. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.

    Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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    Transcription

    Natty Bumpercar 0:00
    I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.

    And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.

    Outro 12:42
    The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In episode #444 of the Bumperpodcast, chaos erupts when Natty Bumpercar and his friends apparently break into the studio and start recording without permission. Security guard Rufus T. Rufus (nicknamed "Lighthouse") discovers them mid-recording and demands to know who they are and why they're there. What follows is a hilariously circular conversation involving Doodle Poodle, Aloysius J. Pig, and Natty as they try to explain themselves while simultaneously getting distracted by grammatical debates, the origin of nicknames, and whether certain words are appropriate to use. The episode showcases the show's signature improvisational style as the characters talk in circles, interrupt each other, and turn a simple confrontation into a absurdist comedy of miscommunication.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm also not sure why you decided to hit record and start recording, however, this is the studio inside of Hellfire Headquarters inside of Coffee Can Alley, where Natty Bumpercar lives and records the Bumper Podcast. So, again, I ask you, why are you here?”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I've never had a nickname growing up, you know. I always wanted one, but I kind of knew that you can't just, like, give yourself a nickname. You, people have to give it to you.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “The reason we call you Lighthouse is cause you're big and tall, right? And you're always flashing your flashlight all around… And we know that if we see Lighthouse that we're like a safe harbor.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #miscommunication #nicknames #security #studiointrusion #grammar #improvisation #confusion

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: so here's the the thing here's the the thing here's the thing that i've been wanting to talk about for a long time why don't you just get on in there and talk about it then because it seems like it's your chance to talk about it so why don't you just get on in there and just start talking about it if you want to talk about it well if you insist i guess i will talk about it because to me it's been something i've been thinking about for my long time and this is something i just want to get off my mind and off of my chest and off my ass because i just been caring about for so long yes exactly here's the thing everybody out here is looking to you now to drive this episode you see you're the first one who talked and so you've laid the groundwork as it were for the whole episode so whatever it is that you want to say please get on what we're supposed to talk about what we're not supposed to talk about it's just like it just appeared it came in here stop telling us what to do but i don't know what you're supposed to do either so i'm not going to tell you what you're supposed to do listen here my clitter clatter little friend i'm the one who's in here to give it a little bit of structure a little bit of control so are you in or are you out are you with me or are you again me

    Doodle Poodle: no i'm not so sure exactly if i'm would You mean again, again, you, over you, or to you, or from, from, from, from, from, from, from to you, or either or, or either and, or, please don't get mad at us, we're just trying to figure this whole thing out.

    Natty Bumpercar: So, neither, neither, nor, we, I don't tell you the truth, I don't remember what I was wanting to talk about, you know, with everything, and so if that screws everything up, I don't feel like I should be the one having to take responsibility for everything, because I don't, you know, I just sat down here and started talking, you know, all y'all been talking about. You're more than me, so am I the one who all of a sudden has to take control of this?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, I'm the one who's going to actually be taking control of this, um, I'm not sure how you got into the studio, I'm also not sure why you decided to hit record and start recording, however, this is the studio inside of Hellfire. Headquarters inside of Coffee Can Alley, where Natty Bumpercar lives and records the Bumper Podcast. So, again, I ask you, why are you here?

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, now, I don't feel like I need to answer to you, because I don't even know who you are, but this is, we came into this room on an internet… …computation, and I was just going to sit and sit, come in here and do your thing, and so we came in, we pushed play and record, and then we started doing our thing, but, you know, I don't, we don't really have a thing as a problem, and so we just kind of jibber-jabbered a little bit, and I don't, you know, I just don't know what's going on. Speak for yourself, sir, I came in here with a plan, an absolute plan, and I know exactly how to achieve… …my plan, and I know exactly what I will be doing each step incrementally, moving my plan forward, if not for this giant oaf, my plan probably would have already begun.

    Rufus T. Rufus: All right, sir, I don't know who you're calling an oaf.

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I was, I was speaking about you, Egg, when I, uh…

    Rufus T. Rufus: Okay, I kind of figured that you were talking about… …me, because you seem to know everyone else in the room, and you did look at me when you said it, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure, and, um, just, you know, I am a tall guy, like, I, you know, I'm large, but that's why I'm running security here, and just, just because I'm big doesn't mean that I'm thick-skinned, or invulnerable to insults, all right, I'm just a person here doing my job, and, you know, I walk into a room… room there's people in there that i've never seen and and and i feel like i'm just being uh objectified and mocked and i'm just trying to put food on the table for my family and and and i i did not come here to be treated like that well i didn't come in here to see nobody like that either

    Natty Bumpercar: because i didn't want nobody to feel bad i was just following along here with all these friends of mine we just came in here and we just wanted to hear of course we wanted to do some recording to just make a podcast so i apologize myself because you're just a family man you're just coming in here you're just trying your hardest you don't know us we don't know you you don't know how we got in here and so i understand completely when you're like who are you you know so i'm just okay with that okay i hope you're okay now too and i hope i'm okay because i don't want any scuffles and duffles and ruffles boys boys boys oh and who exactly are you

    Rufus T. Rufus: yeah i'm the security guard i i saw the light was on and so i came to investigate and then i don't the all these people were here and recording and you know messing with the equipment and uh who exactly are are you is should be my question because i'm uh you know theoretically in charge,eno

    Aloysius J. Pig: okay well i'm do you have a name first off

    Rufus T. Rufus: Pretty sure that i don't have to give you any of my information as i'm the one who works here and you're with these people who have broken in to the studio

    Aloysius J. Pig: Now now now Ha I don't want to start throwing around words like broke into the studio.

    Natty Bumpercar: Now, my English is not as perfect as everyone else's in here. However, when you say throw around a word like I thought it was just going to be break-in or something, but you used the entire sentence. Is that something that is allowed grammatically? If I'm saying if you're going to throw around words like robbery, burglary, what you understand, cheese or whatever, those are words that can be thrown around. But if we're going to come in here and say, oh, this entire cohort of people has come in and are going to be rummaging through the waste bin and probably having some sort of a silly party and using all of the equipment. It's because they got locked out of their, I don't, you know, I just, it's, I just need a clarification on that if you could.

    Aloysius J. Pig: Oh, I can. So here's the thing. You're being, um, what's the word? Pedantic. And that's where you're just kind of focusing in and honing in on the wrong parts of what I'm saying. Which is strange. Which is strange. Because we're supposed to be on the same side. So why would you decide to take time out of my conversation with this gorilla of a gentleman and try to pick apart what I'm, I'm trying to say? I just, in my mind, I just don't understand. If you get my drift.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, I understand what you're saying and what you're putting down. And so I agree with you. And, you know, I'm, I'm thinking, uh, these old things, there's just so much understanding. And I'm just going to scoot on out of here and just, you know, go back to where I went from whence I came. So, uh, it was wonderful seeing everybody. I'm glad I got to talk to everybody. And, uh. Um, uh, hi there, everybody. Hey, Lighthouse, I got your message. What's going on? What's your situation? Who are all these people? This is very strange. You called him Lighthouse, as if that's his name.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, it's more of a nickname. I don't know where it came from. I don't know why they started calling me Lighthouse. But, you know, I just kind of sounded cool. And so I just kind of ran with it. I've never had a nickname growing up, you know. I always wanted one, but I kind of knew that you can't just, like, give yourself a nickname. You, people have to give it to you. Um, problem being, I guess, if it's a, if it's a cool, nice nickname, well, then good for you, right? But if it's kind of not a nice, kind of a mean, uh, nickname, then how do you get rid of it then, you know? Because you can't just walk around and say, like, oh, hey, don't call me that. Because then they're just going to call you that even more. It's just, uh. Guys. It's just. It's just, society is difficult. Can we agree on that? Can we all come together and just agree on that one thing?

    Natty Bumpercar: Bro, how long have you been waiting to get that out? Um, yeah, let's, let's all agree to come together. Okay. Um, the reason we call you Lighthouse is, is cause you're big and tall, right? And you're always, you're flashing your flashlight all around, right? Like a, like a, like a lighthouse. Cause you're looking around, I guess. And, um. And you, you, you, we, we know that if we see Lighthouse that we're like a safe harbor, right? We're in a safe space that you, you know, you're going to be there and around to, uh, protect us and everything. So it's, it's a term of infect, of infect. I didn't say, it's not a term of infection. It's a term of affection, uh, that we call, we call you Lighthouse, you know? So just, I hope you don't mind it. I hope you like it, uh, regardless. Yeah. As you just said. You're kind of stuck with it. So just keep rolling. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Who in the heck are all of these people in here? Well, I'm pretty sure you can't just go around screaming by. You can't say that. I don't think you can say it. Can he say all of these?

    Aloysius J. Pig: I don't, I'm just gonna, I don't know. No, actually, I do not feel like it is appropriate. I do not feel it is nice. It is an old term for people from the hills of like the Appalachian Mountains. And I don't think that you can just walk around and start saying that about people.

    Natty Bumpercar: Actually. That's rude. Well, it's, it's, I understand where you're coming from, but you might not know this, that the word actually is Scotch. He's a Scottish in origin. Wait, are you supposed to be Scottish?

    Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. . . .

    Unknown: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

  • Bumperpodcast #389 – Season 2 – What Happened?

    Bumperpodcast #389 – Season 2 – What Happened?

    Natty wakes up and is very confused. Then, he offends a ‘not a rock’, then a little dude plays a song. It’s all so confusing. He doesn’t even have a toothbrush …

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!!

    About This Episode

    In this surreal episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar finds himself mysteriously transported to a strange, post-apocalyptic world with red skies, no familiar landmarks, and dust everywhere. He encounters a cryptic character named Houdet (Doodle Poodle) who warns him to run while singing a catchy but incomprehensible song. Natty also meets Rocky, a sentient being he mistakenly picks up thinking it's a rock, leading to an awkward conversation about identity and survival. As warnings about the ominous "Mr. Mayonnaise" grow more urgent and people apparently hide underground, Natty must decide whether to stay put or search for safety in this bizarre new reality.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I don't have a jacket I don't have a toothbrush which is very important dental hygiene is very important I was supposed to have a dentist appointment today”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    “I ain't no rock I'm a living being a living creature you on the other hand are a mythical beast”

    — Rocky

    “I know less now than I did earlier when I didn't know anything. I know less than anything right now.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #sciencefiction #paralleluniverse #survival #mystery #confusion #post-apocalyptic #mr.mayonnaise

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't even where am I what is happening what year is it why is nothing look familiar I hey everybody I mean I'm talking to myself here this is Natty bumper car and I I don't know where I am this is very weird there's dust everywhere a lot of broken stuff I was going to record a podcast but there's no studio there's no headquarters there's no pig there's no Aloysius oh that's that's a pig there's no Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle there's nobody hello hello all right man I was gonna have a podcast and catch everybody up on on on everything that's been going on but there's no everybody so there's no everything going on like who are you

    Doodle Poodle: everybody gotta run before the moon pops before the night comes and if you ever

    Natty Bumpercar: um I don't I don't know what just happened um I know I just over modulated which freaks me out um I was here confused and then this little dude thing I don't know creature ran up and then that music started and I'm trying to think what he was saying I heard him say run everybody everybody's got a run I don't know what if there's something I should be afraid of I'm looking around he also trying to remember it's something something story to tell and then things didn't go well and I don't know what the middle words were mysterious turn tyrannical like a terrain tyrannicus tyrannical sores wrecked no okay and then run and then get away and then he ran so I don't even I don't I don't know what's happening hi everybody we're three minutes or so into me being very confused there was a big blue light and now I'm here and there's nobody else except for that little guy I think I don't even I don't even know if it was a guy it was like a kind of robot ish I don't know I guess there's still no comedy shows in the in wherever I am doesn't look like there's any food ha no shelter huh very strange I've got a lot of strange things happening on the bumper podcast and I have to say this is one of the stranger ones looking up at the sky it's kind of red not blue looking around not seeing any real plant life this is not good not good at all I don't have a jacket I don't have a toothbrush which is very important dental hygiene is very important I was supposed to have a dentist appointment today or I was gonna record a podcast and then I was gonna have a dentist appointment but I'm assuming that I missed that because there's no dentist around here a little guy had a really catchy beat like I loved it I hope that I can hear that song again at some point said something about the moon moon pops when the moon pops when Sun I don't know anyway I I'm just standing here talking into a rock at this point hey mister yes hey hey mister can you put me down I'm sorry talking rock that I picked you up because I thought you were a rock I ain't no rock I'm a living being a living creature you on the other hand are a mythical beast what a beast a beast I tell you okay stop saying beast I'm just a person I'm just a bumper car a natty bumper car no maybe you've heard of have not you haven't heard of me heard of you at all but I know that you can't just walk around and pick people up sorry okay true well very rude sorry I guess I am being kind of rude what what is your people call me lucky that's hardly fair people call you Rocky I thought you were a rock my name does not determine what or who I am that's valid okay I mean I'm not a bumper car so you're not a rock rocky cool but you said that people call you Rocky where are these people and there's other people are hiding they're hiding everything that is everything happened and they had to go underground as it work they might come back come back like here like they might come back here like something Sal�� here i i don't think i belong here i think i'm from somewhere else and i don't know how i got here but there was this other little dude who was here who sang a song and something about he said to run i mean he he was who did something something do who day you met who day his name is who day and his name is who day you gotta be listening to him because he knows things that are happening well everywhere that's good to know uh i'll definitely listen to him if he ever comes back his uh song was very catchy uh the words were kind of hard to hear if i'm to be completely honest i'm not being a critic here um but you know maybe easier ways to deliver information write me a note stick a sticky whatever an email that doesn't exist probably uh none just talk you could just talk to me like you're doing we're having a conversation you're having a conversation i'm still mad because you picked me up and you call me a rot but not a rot okay i'm sorry again and i did apologize quite profusely i'm i don't know where i am i don't know anything that's happening the sky is red there's no buildings there's no grass there's no again toothbrush i missed a dentist appointment which means i'm gonna have to pay because i didn't cancel it so they still right they're gonna make me pay which i don't like to pay extra and i don't know where i am and i'm scared i'm honestly i'm pretty scared here comes who day oh oh he's back he's getting closer okay i'm gonna try to figure out what he's saying who's mr mayonnaise oh please mr mayonnaise okay you're saying his name oh story okay he's scared

    Doodle Poodle: oh okay

    Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, I heard him say Mr. Mayonnaise. Like, oh, please, oh, please. Okay, so now I'm even more scared, and we should, can we hide? Do you know of a place we can hide? You said there were other people somewhere underground. I'm gone. I'm leaving. Zip. Rocky? He just ran away. He just zipped, and then he was gone. Oh, boy. Okay, so Rocky, Houdet. Mr. Mayonnaise. People underground. Um, I'm, I don't, I know less, I feel, now than I did earlier when I didn't know anything. I know less than anything right now. Huh. Um, what are you supposed to do when you're lost? What are you supposed to, oh, I'm going to sit down right here because I've always been told, that if you get lost somewhere, that you're supposed to just sit in that spot. Like, and maybe the people that you got lost from are going to come and find you in that spot. I guess. Or, you know, I could also walk around and look for someplace safe and someplace where I can hide, and maybe that's a good idea, too, because I don't really want to meet someone named Mr. Mayonnaise. Not today. Not today! Not today!

    Producer: Please, share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com. Thanks for listening. If you're interested in learning more, visit us at www.nondashproductive.com. Thank you so much for listening.

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  • Bumperpodcast #359 – Chillin’ with Brody

    Bumperpodcast #359 – Chillin’ with Brody

    It has been awhile since we recorded – as Natty had some serious throat going on … But, we’re back – and Natty runs into someone new. Someone ridiculously interesting? Get yourself ready!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar returns to his studio only to discover a surfer-bro podcaster named Brody recording his own show, "Chilling with the Bros." Natty learns that Aloysious J. Pig has been renting out the studio to other podcasters to keep the lights on. The situation gets even more chaotic when Rufus T. Rufus appears, still managing the studio's paperwork despite previous attempts to steal Natty's podcast. Brody shares wisdom from his various podcast episodes covering everything from banana storage to personal space, while trying to launch his own podcast network called BroNation. The episode explores themes of entrepreneurship, unexpected houseguests, and the surprisingly deep philosophy of bro culture.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Time is like a bow that wraps around the boxes of your life with all your memories and all your whatnot.”

    — Brody

    “It's stardust. The universe was formed, and straight up from that, you were formed as well. It's the ultimate dichotomy.”

    — Brody

    “I'm glad I ran into you in my own headquarters, Brody.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #podcasting #entrepreneurship #business #studiorental #broculture #self-help #confusion

    Featuring: Natty Bumpercar

    Full Transcript

    Natty Bumpercar: Yum Yum! So it's you know it's like in the summer and so I'm like we should do a recap of like all the cool adventures we had and just like where we went and what we did and just like some killer waves and like all the food we ate and you know just like put everything into a nice box and then wrap it up into a bow and like just put it into the time capsule because time is not linear. Time is like a bow that wraps around the boxes of your life with all your memories and all your whatnot. Hey bro what's going on? Hey not much um who who are you? Man my name is Brody. Okay yeah what are you doing here? I'm doing my podcast. I'm dealing with the bros because you can't spell bro without Brody. Brody without bro you know and it's like a podcast that I do for all my bros where I tell them everything that's been going on man and all the cool things that they should be into and what they should not be into as well unless they so choose. Okay. Obviously. Obviously. I'm sorry. Um cool. It's really nice to meet you and I apologize if I seem confused. I just don't know what you're doing in my house. Bro. This is supposed to be where I record my podcast. I'm sorry uh Natty. Hi everybody. It's me. Hello. Hey pig. That is Brody. He's recording his podcast. We rent the studio out every so often so that other people can come in and put you know do the production work. We do the podcast. Right. Okay. We do the editing. We do all the all the stuff. We rent it? People ain't normally want to go for the podcast and Brody you can see on this piece of paper on the wall. Oh. That's my name. Brody. Brody's it? He's he's chilling with the bros because you can't spell Brody without your bro you know but so I it's what I record here. I pay money. I hope you don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't want to do it. I don't want to kick me out. Oh no. I just. My listenerships all my bros and and bro that. So appreciate it one day man. No man. We we are not gonna kick you out. Don't worry. You almost got me talking in your style. Uh Brody why don't you uh so Natty this is how we pay for things. This is how we keep the lights on. This is how we have ice pops in the freezer. This is how you know we do it. We we we keep the lights on. It's right. We keep the air conditioning on. We keep the uh the the uh the clothes I don't know. We keep bananas in the fridge. Whatever we do. This is one of the ways we do it, okay? You guys got bananas in your fridge, bro? I think that causes them to oxygenate and brown quicker. I think what you should do, according to episode 47, Bananas in Our Mist, that you're supposed to hang those nanners off of a hook where they're not touching nothing, and then they're going to keep for a lot longer, bro. Wait, I feel like I just learned something from you, Brody. This podcast is actually much more educational than you ever would have anticipated, if I'm to be honest. Yeah, man, so we haven't been picked up yet, but we're in discussions and talks to get on some serious podcast networks because the stuff that we're pumping out, people want to listen to, and they're like, I want to know how to be a bro, or even if they don't want to be a bro, they just want to know how to live like a bro or a bro. I'm very inclusive, so I'm just like, you know, finances, episode 32. Okay. Scratch them pennies, okay? You should listen to that one. Podcasting 101. That was episode 101, all right? Wow. And that's just telling anybody, how they can get in on the game, okay? My voice doesn't have to be the only voice out there. Yeah. Like, I want everybody to, what? Uh, yeah, excuse me there, son. Uh, I hope you is not tracking sand into my studio. Uh, oh, hey, well, the natty bumper car, it's me, Rufus, T. Rufus. I don't want you here, Rufus. You're not, you kicked me. Oh, now we haven't gotten over all of that yet. No, you tried to steal my podcast, and you tried to steal everything. E pluribus hunum. E pluribus hunum, that's what it was. What are you doing here? Hey, natty, natty, natty, natty, relax, back up. Don't forget, he's a man of the law, all right? So he's, don't touch, don't even get in his personal space. Man, episode 71 was about personal space, and did you know that, like, if you hold your arms out and spin in a circle, like, that's yours, man. That's your land, and know that he can take it from you, and nobody owns it at that moment other than you and your eternal flame, right? Yes, so that's what I guess I'm here to talk about, to discuss, natty. The reason I am here is I am still the protractor-nator of all of the logistical paperwork for this whole environment, this whole studio, this whole platform, if you will, and this young gentleman here, this Baro, Brody, I believe, he has some miscalculations, misappropriations, misstatements, if you will, on his ledger, on his documentation. Okay, that's, how in the world are you still managing everything if you tried to kick us out? That doesn't make any sense to me. Like, you tried to get everyone out of the studio, you tried to take my podcast away from me because you said I was being a loop-de-loop. You just like loop-de-loops on? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right. Well? No, I'm not saying I'm that now. Okay. But I'm saying that's what you did and we still trust you, why? Well, now it all comes down to documentation and well, we have a con-tract, and it is unbreakable, unbondable, undeniable. And in this contract, it states heretofore that I, 324, shall not 567 ever be, uh, terminated if you understand. So I am here, I am illog, and I am here to am in a charge and i will be handling your business moving forward sir man natty i feel like you should totally listen to episode 12 i don't 12 12 12 a we had a missed number so it's 12 a but it's um all about it says uh contact your contract and what it's all about is reading over your your you want to get in contact with yourself you for what you want your contract to be and where it should go does that make sense that's don't forget everybody on chilling with the bros with me your host brody okay uh i feel like i should start subscribing to your podcast pig i want to talk to you quick sidebar no you said sad but that's a legal language so should i be involved no you actually shouldn't i need you could you just leave the room and you know what we'll have our people contact your people you don't have to be so hands-on i would appreciate if from now on we just mail back and forth that's acceptable do you do email of course i do i do whatever i i pone express i i will uh i have a line line line i have a pager i have every form of communications that this natural technology and technological world have provided to everyone so sir i will see you when i see you if you understand what i'm saying and that's why it's an i emoji will see the letter c u the letter u win and that looks like a little clock i again another i c the letter c you that's how advanced i am i can cut language down left and right so to make Time go faster. Time is going so fast these days. Let me tell you about my children. No, you're out. You're done. He has kids. That's the first I've ever heard of that. Yeah. Known the guy for like 15 years. Okay. So, Pig, I just want to get a couple of things straight. So, anyone can come here and record at any time? Yeah, there's a sign-up sheet. They put the name on it. They play. Okay. And then they come in. And how do they schedule it? And they're in the house? Yeah, they're in the studio headquarters. Headquarters? Yeah, headquarters. Okay, I forgot. You're fine. Okay, I forgot we called it that. It's a little weird, but fine. No, you're fine. You're fine. Listen, so it's a lot of things you're going to pick up on. I know your memory, your brain is a little bit flustered still, but you're doing much better. So, yeah, anybody can come in. They schedule it. They come in. They record. We do the thing, and then they do the stuff, and then it's up there in the cloud, wherever it goes, and then they listen. Yeah, man. My listenership, it's spiking. People listening to this? Like, it's going through the roof, dude. Okay. Like, bro. We did this one episode where a bunch of comedians got together, and they listened to other comedians' sets, right? Okay. And it was, like, comedians listening or something, right? Okay, that's a good concept. It was episode. But we might make a whole other podcast. That's the beauty of Podcast Nation, is you can just record stuff, put your mind in there, put your heart and soul in. You get that? And when you gain an audience, man, you can splinter. Pretty soon this time next year, maybe, I'm going to have my whole platform. Like, it's all going to be just me and all my different podcasts. So it's going to be like Brody Nation. Bro Nation, right? And so you should totally, if you want to hook up, I don't know if you do any kind of podcasting. You have this sweet studio, so maybe you should. Cool. Thank you. Did you just offer me a spot on your podcast platform? Because it's the Bumper Podcast. That's why we're all here. That's why the studio is here in headquarters. Pig helps out. Rufus, I don't want to say his name too often because he'll just show up. But, yeah, I would be honored, I guess, because you seem like you know what you're doing. Very versed in a lot of different subjects. So I'm kind of more, I'm beyond impressed. So thanks. Thanks for, I'm glad I ran into you in my own headquarters, Brody. So, cool. Hey, everybody. You know, I'm Natty Bumpercar. And as I'm really starting to learn, I've got a lot to learn about podcasting, about what goes on in my own house, and all the different people that show up in my house. And, yeah, I'm kind of still a little bit freaked out about all of this. But, man, I'm telling you, there's no reason to be freaked out. The universe is inside of you and around you. And what you want to do is, like, just get in touch with your chakras. Like, look into a mirror in a dark room, and all you're going to see isn't just the darkness. What you're going to see is what's inside of you, man. And it's what's inside of me. Okay. You know what that is, bro? No, I don't, and I'm terrified to find out. But, hey, we're here. Why not? I'll take a guess. Is it, like, oxygen or H2O? Corpuscles? No, man. Blood? I don't know. What is it? I want to find out. Yeah, man. So, it's even inside of you, little Al. It's stardust. Am I right? The universe was formed, and straight up from that, you were formed as well. As was I. As was everything around us. So, at any time you're breathing in, it's just the universe, and it's holding you together, and it's forcing you apart at the same time. It's the ultimate dichotomy. Episode 89, Ultimate Dichotomy. Listen to Chilling with the Bros. Sorry, I got a bug in my throat. I got to recut that. Listen to Chilling with the Bros. Man, Brody right here on BroNation. Okay, cool. Did you already, because you just mentioned BroNation, but now it's already yours, or you move really fast. Really fast. World ain't wait for snails, bro.

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  • Bumperpodcast #353 – Monster

    Bumperpodcast #353 – Monster

    Emerson is on the Bumperpodcast today, and there is also a monster. They have a regular hoot!

    The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com, or to call in and leave a message – 646.847.7976. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!!

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig attempts to host a show called "Monster Interview Monster" but gets confused when his guest, a young human named Emerson, insists he's not a monster. The interview quickly derails as they debate who is and isn't a monster, with Aloysious struggling to understand the difference. Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle, and Rufus T. Rufus each drop by to interact with Emerson, who has been mysteriously left alone in the studio. Meanwhile, a mysterious blue monster with peach horns and a fish tail keeps appearing and disappearing. The episode features the reveal of the studio dog's name (Popcorn) and ends with Rufus T. Rufus attempting to recruit Emerson in a scheme to take over the podcast.

    Memorable Quotes

    “you don't have fur like a monster you don't have a tail like a monster you don't have horns let me see your teeth no you don't have sharp pointy teeth like a monster are you sure you're a human”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “I'm saying, son, piles of money. This whole podcast could become your podcast. All of this, one day, can and will be yours.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I went to the pig hospital 22 times, which was rough because my insurance only covered the first 20 visits.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #monsters #interviews #confusion #identity #childhood #imagination #studiochaos #legalschemes

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Doodle Poodle

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: um hello my name is monster and today i'm going to interview a monster so hi what is your name little monster i'm not a monster my name's emerson but i'm a monster and i supposed to do an interview show called monster interview monster are you a monster no what are you exactly a human a human let's see you no you don't have fur like a monster you don't have a tail like a monster you don't have horns let me see your teeth no you don't have sharp pointy teeth like a are you sure you're on are you so you're you're not a monster i'm not a monster am i a monster

    Unknown: yes why am i a monster because you have horns a tail oh yeah well i've got a ton of fur it

    Aloysious J. Pig: writes from my my my father monster side of the family so i thought of her okay are you um are you blue no you're not blue are you red no huh you're just kind of like kid you look like a kid basically to me i'm white okay well you're kind of peachy you're not really i mean white is you know the color i'd say you're more like silver have you ever seen yourself in the sun i'd say you're more bronze oh i don't go out i don't tan i don't

    Unknown: tan well other people will tan i don't i don't tan okay i do go to the pool have you ever been to the

    Aloysious J. Pig: pool yes you know they kick me out of the pool you know why because you're a monster good because i'm

    Unknown: a monster yes it's also because i'm so furry and then you're gonna spread infections in your fur

    Aloysious J. Pig: i'm not sick or nothing i'm just a monster okay what about your drools i thought it's true a little bit i don't you you drool no Nine. I heard you say that. I'm sorry. I got very confused. So wait, what does a nine-year-old do with their time to play and stuff? Their imagination. Is it their imagination? Yeah. So, okay, can we pretend imagination now? No. You don't want to play, right? So I was going to say this. I'm imagining that I'm a boat and I'm sailing to a place called Volcano and there's a carrot and I need someone to help me. Will you help me? What? So there's a poodle and he's eating a bagel and… Okay. Okay. And then we have to arrest the princess. Where's Natty Bumpercar? I don't know. He just… I'm on the schedule today for the monster… I'm going to kick you out. Please don't kick Kick me out. Kick. Ow! Okay. Nice talking to you. Okay. Hey Em, what are you doing here?

    Natty Bumpercar: Nothing. Are you doing a podcast? Yeah. Were you talking to yourself or? I was talking to this monster. What monster? Did you get his name? No. That happens too often. People come in here and they just start doing podcasts and they don't even sign up properly. How am I supposed to… I can't even charge him if I don't know who it is.

    Unknown: So if we can't charge him, we can't make money. Okay. I think his name was… I don't know. You don't know? Okay. Do you know what he looked like? He was blue. Okay. He had horns. Okay. Like peach horns. Peach horns? Yeah. Okay. And he had a tail that looked like a fish. A fish tail? Yeah. Ew. Okay. His eyes were bigger than… Like saucers? Yeah. Like you

    Natty Bumpercar: saw a saucer? Like a plate? Like a little plate? Yeah. Okay. I think I'm getting a pretty good description. So he was blue. He had horns that were peach colored. He had a tail that looked like a fish. And eyes as big as saucers. Okay. I'm going to track this monster down. And… He's outside. He's outside. Did he just go out? What did he do? He left you in the middle of an interview? Yeah. Did he just walk out by himself? Yeah. Weird. I would never do that. I would never just… Oh wait. Hold on. What's… Oh, I got to go take care of something. Can you keep talking for a few minutes? Yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, bud. What's going on? Good. What is… I was looking for Natty. He's supposed to give me a paycheck today. I think he's with Popcorn. It's Paycheck Friday. He's with Popcorn? Yeah. The dog. Oh, we gave away the dog's name. That's right. Last week we were telling everybody that we got a dog. And now we said to find out the name, go watch this video, which we didn't link to the video. So no one's going to find it. But we're going to find it. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. But, so Popcorn… We have a dog named Popcorn here at Headquarters. Oh, also, hey everyone, it's me, Aloysius J. Pig. What? That's my name. You didn't know that? No, I didn't know that. Have we ever met before? No. I'm pretty sure we've met before. You're

    Unknown: the one that always used to beat me up, right? That was five years ago. Yeah, bro. I remember,

    Aloysious J. Pig: okay. I still remember these things. You do? Yes. You beat me up several times. Like every time you saw me, it ended up in a brawl and you're punching me and you're scratching and fighting. You're a little bruiser. I know.

    Unknown: And then you had to go to the hospital 20 times.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I went to the pig hospital.

    Unknown: 22 times.

    Aloysious J. Pig: 22 times, which was rough because my insurance only covered the first 20 visits.

    Unknown: And then the other time when we have another kid.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Who's the other kid? Oliver. Never met

    Unknown: him. Yes, you have.

    Aloysious J. Pig: What does he look like? Oh, wait. I did meet Oliver. He's the one with a blue fur. He's got peach horns. He's got a fish tail. That's not him? Who's that then?

    Unknown: He's my brother.

    Aloysious J. Pig: The monster is your brother?

    Unknown: No, Oliver is my brother. That's not his name. The monster's name is Oliver.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Wait a minute. So, hold on a second. How many people are we talking about here? We're talking about one brother named

    Unknown: Oliver. Oliver.

    Aloysious J. Pig: And we're talking about some monster. Whose name we don't know?

    Unknown: Yeah, we don't know his name.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay. This is very strange. Weird things happen around here, I feel. Yep. Oh, speaking of weird things, I just realized I have an appointment, so I gotta go. Okay? Can you keep talking? Yes. Alright. I'll see you later, kid. Good to see you. Please, thanks for not beating me up. I appreciate it. Ow! It's a hit.

    Doodle Poodle: Ah! Beautiful! It's a little fire here. Uh, hello? Who's this? Emerson. Toodle poodle. I heard that we got another dog in the house. You're a dog. I'm Noah. I'm a dog. That's why I was Where's the banana? I haven't drawn a banana in a long time. It's been like 20 years. It's been like 20 years since I drew a banana. It's been like 20 years since I drew. Oh. So what year was that? I don't remember.

    Unknown: Huh?

    Doodle Poodle: But like… Yeah. 1320 and I thought human was gricked just like, I just wish I would 've been one. What is it? What is it? I want a banana dog. Is that something in your memory? I thought I saw something in your memory. But it's a very famous cartoon. um. All. All. Yeah. Catch them all? Gotta, it makes more sense when you say that. Okay. Okay. Hey, it was good to see you, buddy. You too. I wanna go now? Okay. Okay. Where are you gonna go? That's a great question. I'm gonna go make some drawings. Okay. I like to doodle. Oh, no. What can I draw? What should I draw? A turtle. I'm gonna go draw a turtle. I'm gonna go draw a turtle. I'm gonna go draw a turtle. I'm gonna go draw turtle. It's gonna be a very slow drawing. Okay. Okay. Bye-bye.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Uh, now, excuse me, son. This is Rufus G. Rufus. Uh, now, what exactly are you doing in here by yourself? That is against the law. Or is it? Because everybody left me. There was a monster. My dad. Dude. Um. Aloysius was here. He owes me money. And who else? The little dog man. Uh-huh. Now, listen, uh, you, I just want you to know, when I say it is against the law, it is not against the law for you, but they are liable for leaving you in here by yourself, a minor, a youngster. So, what I am saying is, if you need representation, if you need a lawyer to sue them, this… I'm not gonna sue them. I'm saying, son, piles of money. This whole podcast could become your podcast. All of this, one day, you're one day, can and will be yours. Okay. You're gonna take it? Yes. Let's pink it, promise, pink it, swear. Okay. Rufus T. Rufus and Emerson are finally gonna take this thing down. We're gonna take it over. I will go work on the paperwork, okay? Okay. All right. Hey, kid,

    Unknown: I came back. The monster. Oh, my God. Why'd you come back and left me and then… I'm gonna kick you out again.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No!

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  • Bumperpodcast #200: Bumpercar is back – and Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not thankful.

    Bumperpodcast #200: Bumpercar is back – and Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are not thankful.

    Bumpercar is back – with a very special guest – and – Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle are scrambling to cover themselves on this episode of the Bumperpodcast!

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!

    Do you like special guests? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

    About This Episode

    In this milestone 200th episode of the Bumperpodcast, chaos erupts as Natty Bumpercar returns from his annual Thanksgiving tradition of finding Turkey. Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig, and Robot attempt to convince Bumpercar they're recording episode 197, not the big 200th, leading to increasingly suspicious behavior and nervous deflections. As the characters struggle to maintain their cover story about a normal Thanksgiving episode, the truth threatens to unravel. The episode captures the improvisational comedy style of the show with characters talking over each other, cracking under pressure, and ultimately fleeing when Bumpercar discovers the truth about what episode they're actually recording.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I just wanted you to know that I'm just a dog who likes to draw, and I don't know anything about episode numbers, or anything, I don't know nothing about nothing.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “You're cracking under pressure. Not that there's any need for pressure, there's no pressure here, no pressure at all.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Run! Run!”

    — Doodle Poodle

    Topics: #thanksgiving #200thepisode #confusion #secrets #celebration #turkey

    Featuring: Doodle Poodle, Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Doodle Poodle: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, are you ready for the 200th episode of the Bumper Podcast?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey guys, hey guys, hey, doodle doodle, hey, what's going on? Hey Bumper Car, what's going on now? Hey Bumper Car, how's it going? Play it off guys, play it off. What are you talking about? Okay, hey, what are you doing? It's great to see you. Welcome back to the show. I mean, welcome to the show, not welcome back. No one know you, God, no one know you, missing.

    Natty Bumpercar: Hey, are you okay? You're acting kind of crazy right now. What are you guys doing? Are you just getting everything ready? We're going to do, I think it's episode 197. The big 197 episode right now, right? The big 197.

    Robot: That's what we're doing right now.

    Doodle Poodle: To 197. To 197. Hey, doodle doodle. That's what we're doing. Yeah, 196. Pig, make it fitter, make it better, pig, make it fix it, pig. Doodle doodle, you. Bumper Car came back. Yeah.

    Natty Bumpercar: There he is. Hey, you guys are all acting really weird right now. I don't know what's happening, but I went out for a couple weeks. I apologize, guys, everybody, Bumper Podcast-cateers, but I was out. I was, you know what time of year it is. Yeah. Here it is. It's Thanksgiving, and so every year, what we like to do is we like to go and find our friend, Turkey. Oh, no. Yeah. Not this guy. It's Turkey, yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Oh, Turkey. Oh, it's great to see you again, Turkey. I can't believe you're back again this year. How many years is this now that we've been seeing you? Every year, it seems like for my entire life. Oh, wow. Every year. So that explains everything, everybody. That explains everything. That explains what Bumper Car went. Yeah.

    Robot: Yeah, that explains everything. Yeah, robot. That explains the whole story. You know, nothing weird. No. Nothing strange. Nothing weird going on here at all. Oh, okay. Bumper Car.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. So let's, I guess we should probably, I mean, start recording.

    Unknown: I mean, we should, do you guys want to be on the show right now?

    Natty Bumpercar: Do you want to be on the show this year? Or what do you, what should we do? I mean, I mean, it's, it's the Thanksgiving episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's always the Thanksgiving episode, like, you know, tomorrow and I apologize, everybody. Normally what happens is we do a couple of episodes before Thanksgiving with Turkey. So you can really get to know them. And it's, it's, it's a bigger thing, but this year it was, I couldn't find them to be honest. And so I went out and, you know what? Well, I'm not gonna tell you this story right now. Why don't we get everything set up? We're going to do the Bumper, Bumper Podcast right here. The Thanksgiving Bumper Podcast with, it's a jam packed show. We got pigs. It's, uh, Robot, can you look into this? Can you figure out what's wrong? I think something must be messed up, because obviously for the 200th episode, it's going to be something really big and exciting. Yeah, it's not going well. This is just from 197. Oh, no. It's a Thanksgiving, so it's a big episode, but it's not, this is not, you know, the 200th episode. We got two more to go before that, which I hope you guys are excited about. I know I am.

    Doodle Poodle: I just wanted you to know that I'm just a dog who likes to draw, and I don't know, anything about episode numbers, or, or, anything, I don't know nothing about, I don't know anything about, nothing about anything at all, nothing about anything at all.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, listen, Doodlepoodle, you gotta stop what you're doing, what are you doing, Doodlepoodle? You're cracking under pressure. Not that there's any need for pressure, there's no pressure here, no pressure at all. It's a Thanksgiving episode, Robot's looking into the numbers, clearly something's a little bit screwy, wonky on that, and, uh, we're just gonna do a normal Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving podcast right now, buh-buh-podcast right now, everybody, of course.

    Natty Bumpercar: Pig, you are always the voice of reason, I love that what you're, I mean, that makes sense. Alright, how should we start? We should just start the show. Because, I mean, I feel like we've been talking for a while now. Ladies and gentlemen, it's me, Natty Bumpercar, it's the Bumper Podcast, it's the Thanksgiving episode, and, wait, no, no, this isn't, guys, this is the 200th episode, what happened? What happened?

    Doodle Poodle: Run! Run!

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