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Bumperpodcast #209: Jibberlist

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Robot steals the show on this weeks bumperpodcast – until Natty Bumpercar and Pig show up and steal it back. There may be a lot of theft on this weeks episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Comedian, Natty Bumpercar talks about some junk with Robot and Pig, and some other junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

Are you a robot? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Full Transcript

Robot: Hello, everybody. It's me, Robot, and this is the Bumper Podcast. Today, everyone is gone, so I get to host my own. Hey, what are you doing over there, Robot? Robot, what are

Aloysious J. Pig: you doing over here? You can't be doing a Bumper Podcast. Hey, Pig, I thought everyone

Robot: was gone, and so I haven't had my own episode in a long time. Hey, Robot. You're here, too.

Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. I'm here, too. It's my show. Yeah. Well, okay. So, listen. We've established this before, but when I leave, when Pig leaves, when anybody leaves, that does not just mean that you crack the microphone and get to do your own podcast. This is the Bumper Podcast. I'm Natty Bumpercar. This is my headquarters, and so I kind of am running the show. All right. Now, everything

Aloysious J. Pig: we're talking about there sounds really good, Bumpercar, but the point I got with it is that you're taking over. I'm taking a lot of ownership over a lot of things that maybe, you know, should be shared. For instance, how did you get the loan on this house, for instance?

Natty Bumpercar: My wife, remember? Oh, she did? Yeah, she did that whole thing.

Aloysious J. Pig: How about I?

Natty Bumpercar: No, you didn't do anything. No, nothing. You weren't even there.

Aloysious J. Pig: Well, at that point, it's something I'm going to let slide. I'm going to let it slip back to us.

Natty Bumpercar: Okay. Well, weird. I don't even know why we're talking about that when we were initially talking about Robot. I did my show. I did my show. Bless you. Not allowed to… You know what we should do? We should get some rules, and we should just write them out, and we should put them up on the wall here, and so then everyone is on the same page, and we can all, you know, manage expectations as to what people are doing and what they're not doing and what they shouldn't be doing. On top of the list is going to be Robot should not, cannot, will not have his own show.

Robot: Well, I don't understand that. It's a good rule. I've done my own shows before. And they were very well received.

Aloysious J. Pig: I don't think that's true.

Robot: You know, I would go to Chapman's. I would go to the Flavor of Life. There he goes. He's going to make a list. I would go to the Twitter. I would go all over the place. And people were always like, it's the best.

Aloysious J. Pig: It's the best.

Robot: It's the best.

Aloysious J. Pig: Listen, I don't… I mean, I love that you can make lists. I think it's wonderful. And… But none of that… Those weren't even real places. The Twit, Twit, Twit, Twit, Twit. That's not a thing. That's not a place that people go. So your list that you're talking is gibberish. You make gibralists. I think that's going to be our new word for today. That's gibbalist.

Natty Bumpercar: Gibbalist. I think that's a pretty good word. I mean, I like it when we come up with new words in the Bummer Podcast. Because I feel like we're expanding people's vocabularies. And especially if it goes into the lexicon. Then, you know, it's going to give a lot of people a lot of things to think about. Oh, come on. Oh, my gosh. Stop doing the voice. I know why you started doing it. It's the worst voice. Oh, it happens. I slip into it sometimes.

Robot: And there's voices that you just couldn't stop doing. I don't understand why people have such a problem with it necessarily. Why would you do that voice? The worst voice.

Aloysious J. Pig: I mean, I never agree with Roblox. But I got to agree at this point that that's the worst voice that you do ever in my life. Come on. Like, I don't know what… I'll try to do it. Are you sick today, Big? My name is Daddy Bummer. And I'm kind of dumb. Oh, dumb? That's what you sound like. That's not what I mean. I know. That's what you sound like sometimes. When you do that voice. It's not nice. I don't know what it is. It's just a voice. It's just a voice. You can try it like this. I just can't sit. You've got to stop doing it.

Robot: Yeah, or else maybe I'd get my own show. No, that's the worst. Right, guys. Please, please, please, please. Who wants me to have my own show?

Natty Bumpercar: Nobody. Hello. Did you just say holla? Did you just raise your little robot arms and say, nobody does that anymore, robot. And that's why you don't have your own show. That's why you're not going to have your own show. Because, I mean, fine. I did a stupid voice. It didn't make any sense. But holla? Holla. Why don't you put that on your gibberlists? What are my gibberlists? What just happened to you?

Robot: You just made weird noises. Now you're not even making any sense. Why can you have a show and not make any sense? And I can't have a show without something awesome. Something awesome like, oh, I don't know, space, numbers, robot stuff, huh?

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Bumperpodcast #208: There’s a pirate on this ship!

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The Bumperpodcast is taken over by a pirate! What’s his name? I have no idea … and neither does he! Listen and learn … On this tyrannical episode of the Bumperpodcast!

Comedian, Natty Bumpercar talks about some junk with Robot and Pig, and some other junk in today’s edition of the Bumperpodcast.

Are you pirate-ish? Let us know by sending an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.

Full Transcript

Natty Bumpercar: Did you notice that there was a lot of complaining and whining and hooting and hinting and hinting me in last week on the Bumper Podcast? Well, this is, uh, my name is, uh, I'm a pirate, probably. And my name, yeah, well, my name is, I don't remember my name, because I'm a pirate, and when people see me, people know my name, and so I don't have to go around telling people what my name is. I waff off my ship into the port, and I steal everything, and people know my name, but I would just by my face, and a little bit by my voice as well, but they don't necessarily, I don't have to, I don't have a business card. Why would I? I'm a pirate. Pirates don't, I can't read, and I don't care what my name is anymore. You care what my name is. Because I'm the one who's going to be stealing things from you. I'm going to be stealing your women and your children and your booty and your gold and your frankincense and your myrrh and your Kit Kats, because I love Kit Kats. I don't understand how they're made. There's, there's cookie crisp, and then there's chocolate, and they're all squished together into tiny microcosmic little things, and of the pirate ship, we all break off one for our friends, and we say, give me a break. Har! Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that. There. Har. Bar. But it's difficult, because as we're all pirates, and we, none of us care much about our names, then we look around the pirate ship, and when you have to get something done, it's like, hey, there, you, pirate man over there, and then the one looks around, because no one, everyone's a pirate man on the ship, and so they don't know who's talking to who, because they're all, pirates, and so you never get anything done. It's a, really, we should probably figure out some sort of a naming mechanism so that people know who's talking to who at all times. It makes the ships very difficult. It makes every little thing a lot more difficult than it should have been if you could have just said, hello there, pirate Bob, I need you to go and get me some fish. There's a lot of fish that they would, a lot of, that's a lot of, that's a big job on the ship. Who's gonna get the fish? And if we could have a board, maybe, on the ship. Now, I'm thinking we're probably going to need to take some sort of reading lessons, where we all read, and we have names, and we have a, a chore board. Yeah, that's what we need. We need a chore board, and we're gonna have all the different chores of the ship upon the board. It's gonna say, uh, swab the deck, uh, hang the sails, uh, get the fish, you know, all the different things that happen. And then we can be like, uh, pirate Bob, you do Tuesday. Uh, who's gonna do the laboratories? That's what we call bathrooms on the pirate ship. No, we don't. No, no. We don't call it laboratories. No, we don't. We don't call it laboratories. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's right. Over the rail. Because we're pirates. Good joke. Uh, uh, pirate man. No, you. You're the one who said the pirate Right there, I'm pointing at you because, yes, with the stripy shirt, black and white, not blue. Yes, black, white, you. Funny joke. You know what? We're also on the board. We're gonna have gold stars, and if anyone has a funny joke or a good idea, they're gonna get a gold star next to their names. So, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take some continuing education classes. We're going to learn how to read just basic stuff you understand. Nothing too hard. And then from there, we're all gonna get names. What's that? Good point. We're probably going to need to have names before we do the continuing education so that we can fill out all the forms and all the paperwork and take the classes. Are you correct? We can't fill out the paperwork if we don't know how to read and we don't know how to write. This is never gonna work. Is this what we've done? We've never done this. Okay. So, what is your plan? Excellent. We don't care about names. We don't care about reading. We don't care about writing because we are pirates, and all we care about is stealing and ravaging, right? Yes, and looting and pillaging and more stealing. So, no more names. You're a pirate. You're a pirate blue pants. You're a pirate red bird, and I'm the captain pirate of the whole ship, I think. Is that my name? Huzzah!

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