Tag: comedy

  • Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey

    Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey

    In this uproarious episode, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the hilariously unexpected Turkey—dive headfirst into the world of podcast management. As they engage in side-splitting conversations with a mysterious someone, listeners are treated to a delightful blend of quick-witted banter and comedic genius.

    The episode unfolds with the gang navigating the challenges of running their unconventional podcast, providing a unique behind-the-scenes peek into the hilarious happenings in Coffee-Can Alley. Whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer, the Bumperpodcast guarantees a comedy adventure like no other. Join Rufus, Producer, Aloysius, and Turkey in this episode that promises laughs, surprises, and an unforgettable glimpse into the whimsical world of podcast management in Coffee-Can Alley. Don’t miss the fun—hit play and let the laughter begin!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

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    Bumperpodcast Turkey Episode Cover
    Transcription

    Aloysius J. Pig 0:04
    Yeah, so everybody is gonna come on in, watch your step. Try not to knock anything over. You. Come on in, come on in, come on in. We’ll get we can get more there’s more room in here in the studio. And we can look around a little bit.

    Rufus T. Rufus 0:18
    Now,

    everybody Aloysius J pig here, he’s given us a tour, and

    I Rufus T roof isn’t just here, you know, just as for more managerial perspective, and I just kinda, you know, just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this next phase of our project. Yes. And just make sure you avoid the wires. There’s a lot of wires everywhere, but you can see the part that stood here in the things the plugs in everything’s just, you know, just what we were saying. Just be very careful as you come into this space, this studio here, where we do make the recordings for the band

    Turkey, I admit it, but you do have a good point. Yeah, yeah, he

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:12
    does have a good point, you know, with the bumper podcast thing that we’re kind of moving on from that against, but for right now, it’s fine. You know, it doesn’t confuse anybody. This is a studio where we record a bumper podcast, we’re recording a podcast and we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing here moving forward

    Manager 1:36
    maybe be your manager.

    Rufus T. Rufus 1:39
    Now hold on one second. Because I’m, I mean, I’m the lawyer but I’m also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole headquarters here. Just

    Aloysius J. Pig 1:50
    let him Let him talk. Alright, this Hold on

    Rufus T. Rufus 2:03
    No, apologies. You just started to be over here, I suppose taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:17
    think everybody knows what you’re saying. All right. So back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio we used to record a bumper podcast here. I’m Aloysius jpg gets full press T Rufus over there is produced and obviously missing from the equation. He’s Natty Bumpercar We haven’t seen him in a long time. So that’s why we’ve reached out to you

    Manager 2:41
    because it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad that you called me and I’m looking around here and I can see

    Aloysius J. Pig 2:52
    all right that I mean that sounds good and a lot a lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean that makes sense to me. We want to get me well we do when we get started as soon as possible because we’ve been kind of languishing I think is the proper time

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:13
    again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us even consider it well said Turkana Aloysius What do you think about that? That that that point there that took it just me When

    Aloysius J. Pig 3:28
    did you intend to become such good pals? This is a nice relationship friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey yet. That does make sense. We don’t want to just like trash everything. Throw everything away. Maybe we can get some storage boxes, we can put things you know, I think there’s probably some room over in the shed.

    Producer 3:48
    Which which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about the the big shade or the or the Play Stick shade? Or this is a lot of shade around? You know,

    Rufus T. Rufus 3:58
    I mean, it could be you’re seeing the blue shed that’s out back? It could be the green shed, it’s out front?

    Producer 4:07
    I mean,

    Rufus T. Rufus 4:08
    I don’t understand what natty was doing. How do you collect shapes like it sheds is something that you’re going to store stuff in? So why would you just keep getting more and more sheds like we it looks if I look around at corners up there. It looks like we’re like a Mr. Shit like we’re gonna be selling shit at some point. You know? Like, come on down to guess bumper cars crazy shit Emporium. Where you can buy the best stop pointing

    Manager 4:49
    gonna stick around we’re not gonna do bird we’re not gonna do none of those. Well,

    Aloysius J. Pig 4:58
    no. Okay, well gonna know tangents that’s Wow, that is gonna be quite different because normally this show exists to just just to tangent like so like we look like instead of a road like uncooked spaghetti which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around the dike that’s kind of you guys think of pasta for lunch? Maybe? Yeah,

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:29
    I could certainly go over some pasta. You know, this weekend, we got a big game. And so I want to Cabo row.

    Producer 5:37
    Right, exactly. She’s kind of loud. What do you what is he talking about?

    Rufus T. Rufus 5:45
    Turkey, you know, so? Yeah.

    So listen, so what we do before the big game, is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes it better have more energy mix was much more, you know, just more of a spark, you know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make moves and do what we do whatever them. So that’s what is carbo loading.

    And then you’re ready to go. Yeah.

    Aloysius J. Pig 6:18
    So I think producing is a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you’re playing? And who is playing in it? And what where is it? I don’t know. Just explain a little bit this this whole game thing that you’re talking about?

    Producer 6:37
    No, no, we didn’t get the email, I guess. I guess, maybe just you and the roof is we’re talking about these intramural sports that you’re doing between different podcasts. And I said, and I checked my email all the time. And I said, I’m looking now there’s no mercy from you. 30. I’m looking in my spam. Sorry, Emily. She’s looking out through everything and they don’t see any messages from any of you.

    Manager 7:12
    Red Line over there on the red line. Even me

    Aloysius J. Pig 7:15
    not a red light this mean check Tia, I think it means that the power is on. And I still with that? I

    Producer 7:22
    think that we’re recording I would think yes, yes, the red light. It doesn’t mean the powder is on it just means that we are recording the things that are transpiring here in the studio

    Manager 7:39
    recording on the podcast, everything you

    Rufus T. Rufus 7:48
    know, we got to do here is anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording and the light The light is read over the you know, and that just means that we are recording the podcast and or recording something that you know, I guess well

    Aloysius J. Pig 8:12
    is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule. And you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live there, like hey, we want to know the day and the time that your pod gates is going to come out every single week and we don’t have that capability. And so what we do, a lot of the time is if we’re gonna have a conversation, it’s like hold on, let’s just go talk into studio producer came you know, turn on record and then bang, bang, boom, we got another podcast

    Manager 8:49
    this is going to be a podcast I don’t even know what kind of a situation I’ve gotten myself into. was gonna come in a few walls. And then be with

    Rufus T. Rufus 9:08
    I mean, I thought we were just hanging out lollygag and a bit just, you know, just talking to talk a little pod cast, team to podcast, Matt and Mr. We’re gonna knock down walls. I don’t doesn’t make no sense to me. Where’s the budget for that?

    Producer 9:30
    Yes. So ever reaches the budget is we don’t have any money right now. But what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers, or the podcast, you know, like, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash,

    Aloysius J. Pig 9:47
    I will not be washing cars. Do you get me for no sir. I will not be doing that. Duly noted.

    Producer 9:56
    Then we were also thinking you No going around and sending cookies didn’t even like boxes of cookies, people love cookies.

    Rufus T. Rufus 10:08
    I do think to be honest, I love cookies and all that. And I think everyone here understands the legal ramifications. So the girls that don’t go around and they sell the cookies every year and we can’t begin that that tour tour is taken, we can’t jump in there, we’re gonna they’re very tough group we’re not gonna I don’t not want to tussle with looking at cookie girls. So I think that’s not a good idea either.

    Aloysius J. Pig 10:36
    I don’t want to fit. This is an EN tz no tassel endzone. Also, this is an I’m starvin zone because earlier we’re talking about pasta. And then now we’re talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it’s just like that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal and kind of where my mind is now I’ve kind of given up on this whole room thing this is this podcast managed to help or whatever and I think we should probably break for lunch or whatever what time is it whatever it was so whatever meal people eat at at 330 I don’t know

    Manager 11:28
    talk about you guys are just gonna go to 330 meals.

    Rufus T. Rufus 11:36
    I’m not concerned about what the meal is. But I don’t know if everybody else is here.

    I always don’t like to detract from people who are here especially people who are trying to help us but you’ll your voice is grading it. It’s I don’t know what it is about it. But I do feel like Allah which is if we’re gonna start having people on the show. Let’s talk to him a little bit before we come in the studio. We can tell producer like hey, do not record this. This is not gonna sound good, be pleasing to people

    Manager 12:16
    and you ain’t even one being I got a podcast and you want to stay

    Aloysius J. Pig 12:27
    turnkey come on

    Outro 12:42
    the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.

    NonPro 14:01
    This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com

    About This Episode

    In this chaotic episode of Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig and Rufus T. Rufus give a tour of their studio to potential new manager Doodle Poodle. With host Natty Bumpercar still missing, the crew discusses the future of the podcast while navigating cluttered wires, multiple storage sheds, and Turkey's confusing interjections. Doodle Poodle quickly becomes frustrated with the show's tangent-heavy format and questions why they're even recording. The conversation spirals through topics like carbo-loading for mysterious sports games, cookie fundraisers, and whether 3:30 is an appropriate meal time. Rufus eventually admits that Doodle Poodle's grating voice might not be suitable for podcasting, leading to an awkward confrontation.

    Memorable Quotes

    “When I take over as the manager of this podcast, we can't do all this talking like this. We're going to have a topic. We're going to have maybe a gift or two. We're going to stick to it. We're not going to diverge.”

    — Doodle Poodle

    “We look like, instead of a road, like uncooked spaghetti, which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti. Spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around me.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “Your voice is so loud. I don't know what it is about it, but I do feel like we should talk to people before we come in the studio so we can tell producer, do not record this.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    Topics: #podcastmanagement #studiotour #food #tangents #missinghost #friendshipconflicts #fundraising

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Turkey, Doodle Poodle, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: yeah so everybody just come on in watch your step try not to knock anything over come on in come on in come on in uh we can get more there's more room in here in uh the studio and then we can look around a little bit yeah now uh so everybody

    Rufus T. Rufus: al oish is jay pig here he's giving us a tour and uh i rufus t rufus i'm just here you know just as from a more managerial uh perspective and i just kind of you know just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this uh next phase of our project yes and so just

    Turkey: make sure you avoid the wires there's a lot of wires everywhere but you know because he the studio and the things the plugs and everything so just you know i just what we were saying just be very careful as you come into the space the studio here where we do make the recordings for the

    Rufus T. Rufus: bumper podcast yeah turkey i hate to admit it but you do have a good point there yeah yeah he does

    Aloysious J. Pig: have a good point you know with the bumper podcast thing that we're kind of moving on from that i guess but for right now it's fine you know it doesn't confuse anybody this is a studio you where we record the bumper podcast recording the podcast you know we're just trying to figure out

    Doodle Poodle: what we're doing here moving forward yep yep yep well don't you mind me i'm on my way around the podcast studio you know that's why you guys called me in to maybe be your manager

    Rufus T. Rufus: well now hold on one second there because i'm i mean i'm the lawyer but i'm i'm also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole uh headquarters here rufus just let him let

    Aloysious J. Pig: Let him talk, all right? Just hold on. Do I need to leave? Everything's going to be all right, all right?

    Doodle Poodle: Okay, because I can just go. If you guys don't know what you're doing, then I can just head on out right now. I don't mind doing it now.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I'll apologize. I'll just be over here, I suppose, taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I'm saying?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I think everybody knows what you're saying. All right, so back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio. We used to record the Bumper Podcast here. I'm Aloysius J. Pig. That's Rufus T. Rufus over there as producer. And obviously, missing from the equation, he's Natty Bumpercar. We haven't seen him in a long time. So that's why we reached out to you.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, all I know is it's nice to meet you, and I'm glad that you called me. And I'm just looking around this room here, and I can see a lot of improvements that we can make as soon as possible.

    Aloysious J. Pig: All right, I mean, that sounds good. A lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean, that makes sense to me. I mean, we do want to get started as soon as possible, because we've been kind of languishing, I think is the proper term.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us are even considering. Well said, Turkey. Now, Aloysius, what do you think about that point there that Turkey just made?

    Aloysious J. Pig: When did you and Turkey become such good pals? This is a nice relationship, friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey, yeah, that does make sense. We don't want to just, like, trash everything, throw everything away. Maybe we could get some storage boxes. We could put things, you know, I think there's probably some room over in the shed.

    Turkey: Now, which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about? The big shed, or the plastic shed, or there's a lot of sheds around, you know?

    Rufus T. Rufus: I mean, it could be, like you're saying, the blue shed that's out back. It could be the green shed that's out front. I mean, I don't understand what Natty was doing. How do you collect sheds? Like, sheds are something that you're going to store stuff in, so why would you just keep getting more and more sheds? It's like, it looks… If I look around headquarters out there, it looks like we're, like, a Mr. Shed. Like, we're going to be selling sheds at some point, you know? Like, come on down to, I guess, Bumper Car's Crazy Shed Emporium, where you can buy the best…

    Doodle Poodle: No, hold on a second. You've got to stop talking.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Point taken, point taken.

    Doodle Poodle: Yeah, because when I take over as the manager of this podcast, we can't do all this talking like this, okay? We're going to have a topic. We're going to have maybe a gift or two. And we're going to… Stick to it, all right? We're not going to diverge. We're not going to have tangents. We're not going to do none of that stuff, okay?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, no… Okay. We're going to… No tangents? That's… Wow. That is going to be quite the difference, because normally this show exists just to tangent. Like, we look like, instead of a road, like uncooked spaghetti, which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti. Spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around me. Like, that's kind of… Oh. You guys thinking of pasta for lunch, maybe?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I could certainly go for some pasta. You know, this weekend we've got a big game, and so I want a carbo-road.

    Turkey: Not exactly. It's just carbo-road. What is he talking about?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, turkey and turkey, you know. So, listen. So, what we… What we do before the big game is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes our body have more energy. It makes us have much more, you know, just more of a spark. You know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make our moves and do what we do and everything. So, that's just carbo-loading. You eat a lot of pasta, and then you're ready to go.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. So, I think… Producer and I are a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you're playing, and who is playing in it, and what… Where is it being… I don't know. Just explain a little bit this whole game thing that you're talking about.

    Doodle Poodle: Huh. No.

    Turkey: Yeah, no. We didn't get the email, I guess. I guess maybe just you and Rufus were talking about these intramural sports that you're doing between different podcasts, and I said, and I checked my email. All the time, and I said, I'm looking now. There's no message from you, Turkey. I'm looking in my spam. Sorry, Aloysius. I'm looking all through everything, and I don't see any messages from any of you.

    Doodle Poodle: Okay, so I just need all of y'all to stop talking, because here's what's happening. You're wasting my time, and why is that red light over there on? What does that red light even mean?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Ah, the red light just means that the, uh, I think it means that the power is on. And that, I guess, I think that we're recording, I would think.

    Turkey: Yes, yes. The red light, it doesn't mean the power is on. It just means that, uh, we are recording, uh, the things that are transpiring here in the, um, uh, studio.

    Doodle Poodle: Well, I don't understand even one thing. Why would you be recording this? You can't put this out. This isn't a podcast. You're just wasting power and wasting everything. You're wasting my time, and you're wasting your time. No.

    Rufus T. Rufus: See it? What we kind of do here is, uh, anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording, and the light, the light is red over there, you know, and that just means that, uh, that we are recording the podcast, and, uh, we're recording something, you know, I guess.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, here's the thing, is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule, and, uh, you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live their life. Hey, we want to know the day and the time that your podcast is going to come out every single week, and we don't have that capability. And so what we do a lot of the time is, if we're going to have a conversation, uh, it's like, hold on, let's just go talk in the studio, producer can, you know, turn on record, and then, bing, bang, boom, we got another podcast.

    Doodle Poodle: So you're telling me that this is going to be a podcast? Yes, or this, that doesn't make any sense, this is just, I don't even know what kind of a situation I've gotten myself into. I thought I was going to come in here, knock down a few walls, put up a new sign, and then be ready to go, but that does not seem to be what we're doing here.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I don't, I, I mean, I thought we were just here hanging out, just lollygagging a bit, just, uh, you know, just talking the talk, a little podcaster team. Wait, a podcaster, ma, mister, uh, wait, I didn't, we're gonna knock down walls, I don't, that doesn't make no sense to me, I, where's the budget for that?

    Turkey: Yes, so, uh, Aloysius, the budget is, uh, we don't have any money right now, but what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers for the podcast, you know, like, uh, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash? I.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Will. Not. A. Mission. Cause. Do you get me, producer? I will not be doing that.

    Turkey: Duly noted. Um, then we were also thinking of, you know, uh, uh, going around and selling, uh, cookies to people, like boxes of cookies, people love boxes of cookies.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, I, I, I do think that the, I, I love cookies, I know that, and I, I think everyone here, uh, understands, uh, the legal ramifications, uh, the, the, the, the, the girls, they don't go around and they sell the cookies every year, and then we can't, we can't, that, that tour-a-tour is taken. We can't jump in there, we're gonna, they're a very tough group, we're not gonna, I don't not wanna tussle with the cookie, cookie girls, so, uh, I think that's not a good idea either.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, I don't wanna, this is an NTZ, uh, no tussling zone. Also, this is a, an I'm starving zone, because earlier we was talking about pasta, and then now we're talking about cookies. We're talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it's just like, that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal, and, uh, kind of where my mind is now, I've kind of given up on this whole, uh, room thing, this, this, this, this podcast manager help or whatever, and, uh, I think we should probably, uh, break for, for lunch, or whatever, what time is it? It's like three, three thirty? Okay, whatever, whatever. Three thirty? Yeah. So, what time do you think, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time do you think we should, uh, what time should meal people eat at, at, at three thirty? I, I don't know.

    Doodle Poodle: So, are you telling me that I came all the way down here to have a meal and, you know, talk about a new podcast, and now all of a sudden you guys are just gonna go and have lunch or whatever. Three thirty meal, well. Yeah. I'm not concerned about what the meal is, but I don't know if everybody else is here. I, I always don't like to detract from people who are here, especially people who are trying to help us. But your, your voice is so loud. Oh, you're so loud. I, I'm sorry. for a 3.30 meal.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I'm not concerned about what the meal is, but I don't know if everybody else is here. I always don't like to detract from people who are here, especially people who are trying to help us, but your voice is grating. I don't know what it is about it, but I do feel like Aloysius, if we're going to start having people on the show, let's talk to them a little bit before we come in the studio so that we can tell producer, like, hey, do not record this. This is not going to sound good. He's pleasing to people's ears.

    Doodle Poodle: I know. I've got more podcasting experience and skill and talent in my pinkie toe than you have. I'm going to all gather together. I don't appreciate what y'all are saying. I've got awards for podcasting. You understand?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Turkey, come on!

    Natty Bumpercar: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash WTPS.com. www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodlepoole, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com

    Doodle Poodle: … …

    Unknown: … …

  • Bumperpodcast #435 – Season 3 – Top Ten

    Bumperpodcast #435 – Season 3 – Top Ten

    Step into the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproarious improvised comedy. In this side-splitting episode, join the eccentric gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the ever-baffled Natty Bumpercar. Things take a hilarious turn as Natty finds himself utterly confused about the mysterious events of the last episode. As the gang attempts to unravel the comedic chaos, listeners are in for a rollercoaster ride of laughter and unpredictable moments.

    But the confusion doesn’t end there—Producer takes the reins and rolls out an end-of-the-year top ten list that will leave you in stitches. With their signature blend of quick wit and offbeat humor, the Bumperpodcast delivers a one-of-a-kind comedy experience that keeps you entertained from start to finish. Tune in for the laughs, stay for the camaraderie, and join the gang as they navigate the comedic mysteries of Coffee-Can Alley in this unforgettable episode. Don’t miss the fun; hit play and dive into the laughter-filled world of the Bumperpodcast!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

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    About This Episode

    In this meta episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar discovers that last week's episode has mysteriously vanished from the podcast feed. Producer, Rufus T. Rufus, and Aloysious J. Pig all act suspiciously evasive about the missing episode, leading to mounting frustration from Natty. To distract him, Producer unveils his year-end countdown of the top ten mammals of last year, featuring entries like the giant panda, California sea lion, and hedgehog. However, when Producer declares a tie between the narwhal and platypus, Pig has had enough and walks out, leaving the year-end recap in typical Bumperpodcast chaos.

    Memorable Quotes

    “i'm super excited because this of course is like our end of the year recap everybody's doing it especially us because it means we don't have to make up new content so it's perfect”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “It's the top ten mammals of last year.”

    — Producer

    “You can't have a tie. Happy New Year, bumper car.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    Topics: #missingepisode #year-endrecap #mammals #comedy #podcastmeta-humor #animals #countdownlists

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: i know so i'm super excited because this of course is like our end of the year recap everybody's doing it especially us because it means we don't have to make up new content so it's perfect yeah

    Natty Bumpercar: um hey everybody it's me natty bumper car here in the bumper podcast and i'm confused because speaking of making new content what happened to our episode from last week i does any does

    Producer: anybody know yes i hello everyone it's me producer and um i think that i i will field this this question um i will i will answer this question i'm going to take the question that you have given me i'm going to uh figure out what do you what do you um

    Natty Bumpercar: What are you doing, producer? Just tell me the answer, please.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, so, Natty, I think what producer is trying to say right now, I think what he's trying to impress upon you to elucidate you to with an answer is probably that you, well, I mean, well, come on, you know. I mean, right? Yeah, you know the answer. We're good. Can we just move on? We're going to move along.

    Natty Bumpercar: Wow. What is going on? You guys are both being like extra, extra, extra, like strange, even more so than normally. Remember, so a couple of weeks ago, Santa Claus was here and we were talking about stuff. I guess you guys were talking about stuff because I went back and listened and I wasn't around. And then I came in at the last second and then said, oh, I got a huge story to tell everybody. And then, of course, the show ended because that's how it seems to work. And then last week we all got together and I was just telling my whole story, the whole big thing. All the stuff that happened, the reason why we haven't been recording as much, all that stuff. Yeah.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, Natty, hi, everyone. It's me, Rufus, T. Rufus. That episode was, of course, recorded. You can just look in the logs here of the studio and you can see the time stamp, the signatures, the signatories of the signatures, the signatories of the jurors of the time, special time. And with all that information given, I think that we can all agree that that episode was, in fact, recorded. Yes. It was made. Yes. Made in the shade. I know. Yeah, you know. So it was a great episode, Natty. I listened to it over and over again. It might be one of my favorite episodes. One of the best episodes that I ever had listened to.

    Natty Bumpercar: I don't think I believe you. It was a kind of depressing episode because there's been so much rough stuff going on. And I can't imagine that anyone was going to go back and listen to it multiple times. And that's not even the point. The point is I'm looking on, you know, through the feed, which is where all the podcasts live, and it's just it's not there. There's the episode, Santa Claus. Yeah. Yeah. There's a break. And then now we're here. And so you're saying that you remember recording it. Evidently, there's some sort of a log here in the studio where we can see it, but it doesn't seem to exist anywhere that I can find, at least.

    Producer: So now I think that comes back to me as the producer of the show. And, you know, we record stuff. Then what happens is I go through and I make the edits and I edit the music. And I do all of the things that I do as my job as a producer. And then I upload it. And I do all the back behind the scenes type of work that, you know, doesn't get appreciated most times, which is fine. But I put the transcript of the words and I make the picture. Oh, boy. And I try to, you know, I just do all the things. Can you just move on? And then people can come and they can listen to the episode. So, yeah. All perfect.

    Aloysious J. Pig: What was that? All perfect? Have you been doing more of those online language learning courses? How many accents do you have now, producer? That didn't even make no sense.

    Rufus T. Rufus: You know, I heard it as well. It was his voice that went upsy-downsy. That's what we call that in the business. Upsy-downsy. And I hope you're not still, producer, you can answer. My question, I hope you're not still using any of those courses because, you know, we canceled them after the trial period. And if you're still getting access to one, that means we're paying for one, which is going to come right out of the bottom line. And, you know, we can't have that because we have budgetary issues. We have, you know, the book here has all the expenditures and all the earnings and all the… Can you stop?

    Natty Bumpercar: Can we just stop, please? Well, all right.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, calm down.

    Natty Bumpercar: Well, no, I'm not going to calm down because you guys are doing the thing you always do where I come in and you act like the thing that I'm talking about doesn't make any sense. And I don't understand. Like, we recorded an episode and you're acting like you know it was recorded and you're saying you listened to it several times. Pig, I don't even know what you're talking about. And, producer, you just started to get into the… I got some bolts of making podcasts, which nobody cares about. Especially nobody on this show. Good one. That was a good one, Aloysius. It wasn't a good one, okay? I'm just trying to figure out what happened to the episode from last week and I guess I'm just not going to find out. I guess maybe there was some sort of mishap, some sort of shenanigan, something that now the episode is gone. We've recorded it, obviously, and now it's… I suppose that it just got eaten up by the internet.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Now, hold on a second there, Natty. Now, as the lawyer of the Bumper Podcast, can I tell you that if it was, in fact, eaten up by the internets, as you are postulating, then we might have a case against said internets. So, we might have something and we got to file… I'm going to go file some stuff. So, I'm going to head out. Okay. But you guys are great and I'm going to go figure this thing out, all right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Sueing the internet.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Check you later, Rufus. So, yeah, Natty, looks like Rufus is on the case and it looks like… It feels to me like we can just button this issue up. Okay, we can just move on… No buttoning up. …with the rest of our day. No. And what a glorious day it is. It is a nice day. Don't you know that we're going to do a year-end countdown?

    Natty Bumpercar: No, we're not going to… If we're going to do a year-end countdown, here's what it's going to be. The top one show that just disappeared. And you know which one is going to win? It's going to be last week's episode. That's the one that's going to win the whole thing. So, I give up. Do you guys want… Now, I don't even care about the last week's episode and I really don't want to do, like, any kind of year… Year-end review countdown. I'm not into that right now because I'm kind of frustrated. But if you guys want to record something else today, then let's do it. It'll be, I guess, the last episode of the year, probably. But I did so much research

    Producer: and I did a lot of… You know, I went and I read things and I made a chart and I made an infographic. Yeah, Natty.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Let the guy… He made all this work. Yes. Yeah, can we just see what he's doing?

    Producer: Can I just… I'll show you and maybe it'll spark some interest. I… It's the top ten mammals of last year.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Listen to that, Natty. That sounds like some real choice episode material there. Can we just… You know what? I would love it if we just could… If we could just listen to what producers put together. Top ten mammals of last year.

    Natty Bumpercar: I hate to admit it. I am not a fan to admit it. But listen, you actually got me. I'm actually interested. Can… Can I please hear, producer, whatever you've come up with, whatever it is about the top ten mammals of last year, I guess.

    Producer: All right. Great, great. I'm so happy that you're into it. I'm just going to jump right in. And at number ten…

    Aloysious J. Pig: Bro, bro, hold on. Hold on. I know this… I know you're behind the booth, but listen, you got to build it up a little bit. You got to give your crew… Criteria, right? You got to tell people why they're here. You can't just run through the list. That's going to drive people crazy. They're going to be like, well, how did it get to be number seven or whatever, all right? So you got to ease us into it a little bit, all right? All right? You know, pique our interest.

    Producer: All right. Well, you know, I suppose I could do that. I have no problem with that. So, you know, mammals, they are… Let's see. To be a mammal, you have to be warm-blooded and have a… a backbone, you know, like a ver… ver… vertebrae? I don't know how to say it, but a backbone, you know? And I think, you know, when they feed their young, their babies, a milk. So that's kind of… You know, that's kind of the criteria. And they have to have gone above and beyond what's expected of them in the last year. So that's my list.

    Natty Bumpercar: Okay. So you've got your list of ten mammals from last year. That went above and beyond. Let's hear it, producer.

    Producer: Okay. I'm so excited that I'm going to get to do this. So coming in at number ten, everybody, I hope you like this, is the giant panda who just barely edged out the finnick fox. All right. Well, my list is already…

    Aloysious J. Pig: is already blown. I had giant panda much higher, but I guess we'll see how this goes.

    Natty Bumpercar: I'm sad because I had… finnick fox way up there. So, yeah, keep going, producer. Okay, okay, great.

    Producer: So the next one on our list, number nine coming in, is, of course, the California sea lion, which is, you know, they did a great job last year, I think.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I don't… Are you just… I know we're only on number nine, but I… Mike, are you sure? Yes. California sea lions? Yes. What do they even do?

    Producer: Oh, the California sea lions are excellent entrepreneurs, and they do all kinds of things for the community. They do. So they are on the list, you know? They do. Yeah, I agree. Right. So now I'm just going to go into the next one. Number eight is, of course, the hedgehog. Okay. Everybody clap it up for the hedgehog.

    Natty Bumpercar: I was having some issues with the list as well, Pig, but now that we're into hedgehog territory, sign me up. Hedgehog at number eight. Let's go.

    Producer: Okay, number eight. So number six and number seven, we're actually a tie between the narwhal and the platypus. So they're both a tie, you know?

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm out. You can't have a tie. Happy New Year, bumper car.

    Unknown: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

  • Bumperpodcast #434 – Season 3 – Believe

    Bumperpodcast #434 – Season 3 – Believe

    Step into the comedic chaos of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, an uproarious improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this ridiculous episode, the gang, including Santa, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle, finds themselves in a rib-tickling predicament—Natty is nowhere to be found! The episode unfolds with unexpected twists and turns, showcasing the cast’s penchant for tomfoolery.

    Listeners are in for a treat as the search for Natty takes the gang through the whimsical landscapes of Coffee-Can Alley, filled with laughter and merriment. Whether you’re a long-time fan or a newcomer, this episode of the Bumperpodcast is a delightful journey into the world of improvised comedy, where every moment is as unpredictable as it is uproarious. Don’t miss out on the laughter; tune in to discover the comedic magic that unfolds when Santa and the gang wonder, “Where is Natty?” in this entertaining installment of the Bumperpodcast.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this hilarious episode of Bumperpodcast, the gang discovers that host Natty Bumpercar has been mysteriously absent for months. Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Santa Claus, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle gather to figure out where Natty has gone, as his usual August vacation has extended far longer than expected. The episode features chaotic moments including Doodle Poodle's persistent doodle pitches, an obscene phone call that terrifies Santa, Turkey's brief unwelcome appearance, and Producer accidentally calling the show the "Pump Cast." Just when the group seems stumped, Natty finally arrives with promises of a crazy story to explain his absence.

    Memorable Quotes

    “Every year it seems to be the same thing, he goes on vacation around August and then he just disappears and this year it's particularly long.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I like to listen to podcasts and this happens to be one that is in my feed and I can't seem to delete.”

    — Santa Claus

    “I was trying to say bumper podcast but for some reason it just came out the perkard cast… the pump cast.”

    — Producer

    Topics: #missinghost #mystery #chaos #phonecalls #friendship #podcasting #comedy #reunion

    Featuring: Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Turkey, Natty Bumpercar, Robot

    Full Transcript

    Rufus T. Rufus: you know that's that is what i am saying is every year it seems to be the same thing he he around august he goes on vacation and then he just disappears and this year it's particularly long and you know i've got people saying well where's natty natty bumper car who where did he go you know and i don't know what to tell them so yeah i don't know but that's the thing is you see saying uh i we ain't seen him in like a few months and and so it becomes difficult for us too because normally producer won't turn on the podcast equipment without bumper car here because i don't know i guess he got in trouble or whatever no no that's not what it is i didn't get in trouble it's just we have a sign-up sheet it's been there for years and no one ever puts their name on it if you put your name on the sign-up sheet then you can come in and you can record the bump cast you did you just say pump cast what is what is the pump cast is that a new thing that i haven't heard of hello everybody it's me uh rufus to rufus now if i'm hearing proper we have a new show it's title the pump cast now i don't know what it's about necessarily santa how you doing it's good to see you aloysius as always i just know i was trying to say bumper podcast but for some reason it just came out the perkard cast i don't know whatever you say i say i don't know you know i'm behind the scenes i'm just a producer so sometimes it's hard for me to you know get on the mic and talk especially when we haven't done it in so long all right all right relax producer all right you know we were it's fine whatever you said we were just we were just having a little fun all right we're in a little bit of an uncomfortable weird situation here and i think we're all just trying to uh figure out what our

    Doodle Poodle: next step is you know hi everybody it's me doodle poodle i think i have a great idea for maybe something that we can do no all right that's fine but you're missing out on all the fun anyone want to take i guess

    Rufus T. Rufus: i'll handle this one everybody you're gonna doodle all right that's what you say every time your name is doodle poodle and you come in and you say hey everybody let's make a doodle or like i just made a doodle and then you bark a little bit and then you kind of just disappear you know we all we get it all right doodle poodle but we let we're talking right now we're trying to figure a few things out okay so just you go and do your thing all right i was just gonna say that i was gonna doodle all right everyone don't worry i've turned the microphone off to the poodle boy man over there and we can now get back through the business square one we're going to blue sky a few things maybe you know just uh chitter chatter just kind of see what sticks to the board whatever you know what this real business type stuff really gonna be really serious about everything yes well as i was saying you know i i flew down from the north pole just to check in because you know i go around the world all the time and i i like to listen to podcasts and this happens to be one that you know is in my feed and i can't seem to delete and so i just listen to it all the time but it's it's been empty it hasn't been no updates there's been nothing at all and you know i i i i know natty and i felt like it was important for me just to come and check in and evidently none of you know where he is either yeah i mean when you came in i was like oh this is gonna solve it this is gonna we're gonna solve it and i'm gonna solve it and i'm gonna solve it and to figure it out i mean because usually okay like you said august bumper guy he goes away on vacation he comes back he's all like loosey-goosey look at me i got some sun and you know he takes a couple of weeks off fine fine we've been doing that for a decade now but usually september bing bang boom he's back in but i i what are we in now well now as i understand it i don't have a calendar on me but i think we're right in the middle of rocktober what did he say he said rocktober you know that that's not even a month is it no it's not i'm sorry no i don't know if i blame natty for leaving here wait a minute oh you know we we make a little fun sometimes we say the wrong month but we're pretty okay nice okay people so okay you know sometimes speak for yourself uh so let's let's reset here let's i listen to a podcast and they kept every episode they're like okay point a point b point c and then the next episode they're like well you remember we talked about point a point b and point c and in the next episode they're like we're gonna do a deeper dive on point a and if we get a chance talk a little bit about point b and in every single and it's just like could this have been just one episode like yeah could you dad why are you doing a 10 episode episode podcast when you're saying the same thing over and over and over like and sometimes they say the same thing but they just change a word or two and you're just like what are we doing you know i got i got other things i can be doing i can i could be doing a saduko or a crossword well you know whatever but you know if you only got a couple episodes in you then do that make those two episodes phenomenal okay oh i got off track yes we're trying to do something here we're i came in haven't heard the podcast in a long time and i i look around no natchy bumper car anywhere that i can find and then you all start traipsing in and none of you seem to know where he is either it's been months since we've heard a a fresh brand new podcast and so that's where we are right now now i gotta say santa that was a mighty fine recap that you just did there you know somebody just tuned in and i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry at minute six uh six and a half uh then they're gonna understand exactly where we are in this podcast they're gonna know that uh you came in and then uh you saw that natty bumper car wasn't here and there was no podcast and uh yeah okay i can't remember the rest honestly but i was just having a little fun i'm just having a little fun you just ran out of steam there i mean i you know i gotta say i gotta give you credit that was pretty good but if anyone does the same joke now you're out i can't do it again but very funny rufus i'm i'm i'm dare i say a little bit impressed what whoa who's that answer the phone answer the phone that could be him i don't see where's the telephone at i can hear the ring but i can't see the telephone where is it at exactly everybody calm down i've got it i've got it uh hello bumper podcast let me try again hello bumper podcast there we go you've got the producer here how may i help you um one second i'm going to put you on hold for just a just one moment um yeah so guys i don't know if you heard that in the speakerphone but it's definitely not natty i don't i don't think you know if i was a betting frog i would say all of my money is gone i'm out of here that is not the natty over there any advice what should i ask questions i don't know who this is maybe you should ask who it is does does that make any sense yeah okay sure does to me all right good call good call hold on hold on uh yes uh sorry to have you on hold um thank you again for calling the bumper podcast this is producer and i have the pleasure of knowing who i am speaking to teacher i can't speak to this person this person maybe is, oh, you know, I should, Santa, you should talk to these persons, because you know all the languages, and you know all this stuff, and you're going to have a good conversation, a good rapport, and you're going to be able to talk. Okay. Hold on. I'm going to put it over to you, and. If you could not, I'd appreciate it. Yes, I understand. Yes. Which I don't want. No, I think you'll do fine. I don't want. Okay, one second. Okay, yes, Bumper Podcast again, producer. Sorry for having you on hold twice in one call. I'm just going to patch you through over to someone who will be able to help you. Yes, hello there. It's me, Santa Claus. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for giving us a call right in the middle of some very important. Oh, I didn't know it was going to be that kind of a show. Is this still a children's show, isn't it? My word. Just hold. What's that? I just have to put you on hold for just one second. Thank you so much for. Yes. Oh, my word. That was absolutely obscene. That was too much for me. I'm sweating a little bit. Can producer have a good idea? If you want to, perhaps you just. Just hang up the phone. That's what you do. I didn't want to say it, but yes. Just go ahead and hang it up. And next. We'll let it go to voicemail. Next time. Okay. I think this is a very good plan that we have. All right. Now, I feel like I can breathe again. As a lawyer, I didn't want to say anything untoward. You were scared, huh? Yes, you are correct. I was terrified of that phone call. I'm not going to lie, Aloysius. You know, on that note, and this is just for everybody else in the room, because I'm fine now, obviously. Can you just maybe just pick up the line? Let's just make sure it's clear. Let's just make sure we get a good dial tone. Okay. It's here. Clean line. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Turkey: Hey everybody. It's me.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Ah boy.

    Turkey: Hi, Aloysius. Wait, are we all gathered here? To figure out where the bumper podcast has been? Where do all these bumper cars sit? Get out, get out.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Get out, get out, get out. Well, try, try again. You don't open it. What if it's Mr. Phone Call? Hello? No, open the door quickly. I believe that to be Natty.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, everybody. I'm so glad you're all here, all together. I'm so sorry that I've been gone for so long and we haven't had any podcast episodes, but holy cow, do I ever have a crazy story to tell you? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded on the podcast's YouTube channel, and is supported, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Robot: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no-derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

    Doodle Poodle: Thank you for listening to the Non-Productive Network.

  • Bumperpodcast #432 – Season 3 – Birthday

    Bumperpodcast #432 – Season 3 – Birthday

    The Bumperpodcast is an uproarious improvised comedy podcast set in the zany town of Coffee-Can Alley. In the episode titled “Birthday,” the gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig, gathers to forget Natty’s birthday with a delightful twist: they break into song! Prepare to be entertained as the characters belt out a medley of catchy tunes that will have you tapping your feet and laughing along.

    In addition to the musical festivities, listeners also get an intriguing update from the enigmatic Private Eye. With their signature blend of humor and mystery, the gang unravels the latest developments in Private Eye’s adventures. This episode of the Bumperpodcast promises a rollicking good time as you join in the birthday celebration and uncover the secrets that unfold in Coffee-Can Alley. Tune in for a hilarious and melodious journey that will leave you wanting more!

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In this musical episode of the Bumperpodcast, Aloysious J. Pig and Rufus T. Rufus attempt to rap and freestyle over beats with hilariously awkward results. The pig lawyer worries about "killing the beat" affecting his legal career, while the duo creates the nonsensical song "Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah." Meanwhile, host Natty Bumpercar has been stuck in a corner the whole time, crying because it's his birthday and he still doesn't have the podcast equipment back. The gang discovers their private investigator has been pretending to be a voicemail system and has actually had their equipment for weeks. Will they finally get their podcasting gear back and throw Natty a proper birthday celebration?

    Memorable Quotes

    “I'm pretty sure somebody's going to sue you for killing this beat.”

    — Rufus T. Rufus

    “I don't need that on my record because I don't want to get in trouble, you know, as a lawyer. If I start killing things, I'm not going to be able to be a lawyer no more.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “It's my birthday. And I was hoping to have the podcast equipment back, because I'm sick of this whole not having a podcast thing.”

    — Natty Bumpercar

    Topics: #music #rapping #birthday #privateinvestigator #podcastequipment #dancing #friendship #comedy

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: Oh! Fun music! I like this a lot. Great job, producer. I skip to my loop cause that's what I like to do. I'm up and down and all around. I move over here and I move over there and I do a little dance. Do a little dance. I do a little dance. I'm singing this song. Okay. I'm singing along. No. No. Please stop. It's not good. Come on. You know I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm a lawyer. Well, it's a good thing you're a lawyer because I'm pretty sure somebody's

    Rufus T. Rufus: going to sue you for killing this beat. Sorry, everybody. Should I keep recording or should I stop the music? What are we trying to do here? Because we started out pretty good, I thought, but then we didn't. A couple of seconds. This probably wasn't so great. I'm not pointing any fingers because everybody's trying, but…

    Aloysious J. Pig: Now, hold on. Can you cut that music? Can you cut it? Is that something? That's what they say. Can you cut it? Cut that music? Because I need to have a question or something. Can you please cut the music?

    Rufus T. Rufus: Okay. Here you go. The music has been cut. What do you want to say?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Well, first of all, I want to say, thank you very much, producer, for doing such great producing, cutting that music. You know, I took your second, but, you know, I understand there's a lot of buttons and knobs you got over there behind the board, but also, I wanted to bring it back to a little something that Aloysius just said. What was it? The up and down and all around dance, whatever thing like that? Nope. That's not it. Actually, I don't go. I don't go up or down. I just kind of stand there and I bob and I weave, but I make it look like I'm going up and down. You know, you're an excellent dancer. Everybody, I think everybody would agree. Now, but what I wanted to actually refer to is there's a point back there where you said that I killed the beat. Now, I don't need that on my record because I don't want to get in trouble, you know, as a lawyer. If I start killing things, I'm not going to be able to be a lawyer no more. This is my career. This is my calling. This is my path in life. And so if I am, you need to tell me if I've done something wrong because I need to abdicate it. All right. Got the music back. Let's see if we can do it this way. One, two, one, two, three. Hello, interest. Hey, Rufus, just listen. If you step on a beat, you don't, you just shoo. I messed it up. I don't know what you're trying to do. This is harder than I thought you were. You should try again. Explain things to a beat. Yeah. But I guess I'll try again. Here we go. You did not kill the beat. The beat is the music. Yeah. Everything is okay. Yeah. You just move it or use it or do it. All of these things rhyme up and down all of the time. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Do you understand what I'm putting down? I do. I'm not actually putting anything down. Okay. I'm just saying words to the back beat. But not all of it is going to make a lot of sense. That's true. For instance. Excuse me. Yeah, I said. Oh, no. What is this? No. Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I don't know what that means. This song should be called buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. Good. All times I say buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. I'm in the park, it's in the dark, and I am saying buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. Hello. Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. Are you? Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. I didn't even know that I was meant to be in this song. Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah. Buh-buh-lah-buh-lah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, I feel like I finally understand. All I gotta do is stand up here and listen to the music and see if I can make things that go with the drums. Okay. Let's see. Ho hum diddly dum. That's all I got. Okay. Down the street. What rhymes with street? Feet. Feet. Feet. My feet. There you go. There we go. I got it. I'm cutting the groove. Okay. But I'm not really cutting the groove. You're not cutting nothing. Because it's a musical term. Yeah. That was, you know, I'm not gonna, that was much better. That was honestly for not much, from where we were. All right, producer, you can go ahead and I think we're gonna drop the beat right here.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Go. Okay. So the beat has been dropped, but it's a little bit too quiet for me. If you don't mind, I'm just gonna put it a little back around the music on. There you go. It's a little bit calmer. We can, you know, figure this whole thing out, all right?

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, that's a good idea, producer. I don't like it when there's no backing music, because I kind of, at that point, I'm just sitting there with my, uh, thoughts. And that's the last thing I want to do, if I'm to be honest. Like, the music, at least let it distracts me a little bit, you know? I feel like people should just have a little, some sort of music that they can just walk around the world with. I don't know how we would accomplish that or how we would manage it, but let's say I'm walking through the flea market or wherever I am, and I'm looking at things, and it's just too much noise. People are talking to me. And maybe I just want to have a little something where I can listen to, you know, I can cut out the rest of the noise, and I can just bop along to this and look at, oh, what do we have here? Is this an old robot? How much you want for it, you know? Oh, hold on. What's this? Is that a, is that a jar full of buttons? All right. All right. What are we doing? What's happening? You know, it's just a much more pleasant experience, in my opinion. Rufus? I am H.O. I, in my humble opinion. I got it. I got it. Um. Oh. What is, what is that noise? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. De Willis. Did someone step on a goose or something? Hold on a second.

    Rufus T. Rufus: I think I found, let me look, let me look around here and see, OK. It's Natty. It's Natty. He's seems like he's caught up in the corner, here.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Wait. Natty? Bumper car? I thought. Wait a minute. He wasn't here the whole time? I, I was kind of wondering why everything seemed to be going so smoothly. Like every, everything seemed, everything was, uh, very en bloi.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, I'm not going to agree or disagree, but I totally agree that everything seemed They go pretty easily today. Hey, Natty. What? Natty, come on. I don't want it. Come on. I don't want it. Come on, little Nat. Get over here. Let's see what's going on, okay?

    Natty Bumpercar: It's my birthday. Okay. And I was hoping to have the podcast equipment back, because I'm sick of this whole not having a podcast thing. And I can't help my queer mood.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, you can stop talking. Just take a few breaths. Quick huddle over here, guys. Yeah, I thought we'd kind of given up on the podcast at this point. I mean, I never saw us getting that equipment back from whatever Sir Reginald, I guess his name was. You know, I thought we were just going to start hanging out and being conversationalists with ourselves and not having to put it out in the world like, oh, listen to us. We have a podcast. Everybody's got a podcast. Come on.

    Rufus T. Rufus: Well, yeah, well, I kind of do agree with that. I am a producer, and so I kind of, like, I really, like, you're a lawyer. I'm a producer and kind of like to do the podcast, if we could do the podcast, possibly.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, you guys are both making excellent points. Here's what I'm going to do. Really quick, I'm going to call up the private eye, see if I can get any information on this whole thing, okay? All right, let's see here. Why is it not dialing? Does anybody know how to dial? How does anyone know how to use this thing? You've got to dial. I'm going crazy. I'm actually going crazy right now. You have to dial the number. Fix it, fix it, fix it. Dial the number. You're born in a barn. No, you're born in the same hospital as you. Just how do I? Okay. All right. And let's see here. Ahem. Ready to talk. Let's go. Hi, yes, I'm trying to reach the private eye.

    Unknown: You have reached the voice message system of the private eye. I'm in a voicemail. If you would like to receive a…

    Aloysious J. Pig: I heard somebody answer.

    Unknown: …email newsletter, please press 1. This is ridiculous.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm on speaker. Hey, say, did you say newsletter?

    Unknown: If you are trying to pay your bill, please press 2. If you are trying to hide from the private eye, please press 3.

    Aloysious J. Pig: You guys. Those are the only options? Yes. So, I mean, like, what about find out the status of my case? No, I've been calling and calling. That should be 1-2, right?

    Natty Bumpercar: Yes, but I've been calling this. I've heard that recording so many times. Sometimes it changes a little bit. Sometimes it doesn't. But it never gives you, like, the option to talk to anybody or the option to… Like, find out where… How my case is doing that we've paid a lot of money for. We can't still… Guys, did you not even hear me?

    Rufus T. Rufus: It's my birthday. I actually did hear, but I thought kind of that this getting in touch with the private eye for the whole podcast thing, which is the thing that seemed to be making you cry, was going to be a little bit more important. But, you know…

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, Nelly, I also heard, but I also agree. I mean… You're a grown man. And you're celebrating. You're crying about your birthday or something. And it made me feel, like, uncomfortable. You know, you have your emotions. You live in them. But I was just like, all right. I see he's crying. I'm just going to see if I can rectify the situation. Yeah, Nelly, happy birthday. Seriously. Super duper happy birthday. Sorry we didn't even realize that you weren't on the show. But I'm just going to call. I'm just going to call that number again to see if I can… Maybe I didn't do it right. Hold on. Okay. Like I could at this.

    Unknown: Hmm.

    Aloysious J. Pig: All right. It's ringing.

    Unknown: Okay. See? Right to the voicemail. I don't know. Same thing. The box is totally full.

    Aloysious J. Pig: No, it's totally full. No, no, that was fishy. That was fishy. Hold on. Private eye. Is this actually you pretending to be a voice service? Uh-huh. You have caught me. Caught me in my own snare.

    Unknown: Ha-ha.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Always a smart one, Aloysius. Are you kidding me? I have been calling for weeks. And it's my birthday. And where do you… Did you find our stuff? Did you find our equipment? Calm down, Natty. I found your equipment weeks ago. What? It's been in a box in the corner. That's what? I talked to Sir Reginald and he looked through it. Sorry. He said, this is a bunch of junk. He doesn't even want it. You should have called.

    Natty Bumpercar: I… I put a… But I did call. I've called several times. And evidently, that was… I was talking to you, but you were doing a silly voice, like an answering machine service. Can you please drop our equipment off or can I come and get it? Because I'm really annoyed and… Here's the thing.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm really annoyed, too, because you haven't paid your bill. All right. Now, that's going to be my territory, Natty. I will handle this. I will go and I will injuncture this private eye and we will get our equipment back. We are going to go the podcast next week.

    Natty Bumpercar: Oh, it's a birthday miracle. Oh! The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with… Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias. Or leave… A rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at… Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Producer: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the Non-Productive Network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives License. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it. Change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

    Unknown: The Bumper Podcast is a production of the Non-Productive Network.

  • Bumperpodcast #430 – Season 3 – Private Eye

    Bumperpodcast #430 – Season 3 – Private Eye

    “Private Eye” is a thrilling and hilarious episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the colorful world of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig encounter a Private Eye who is grappling with their own identity struggles. However, despite their personal challenges, the Private Eye agrees to lend a hand and help the duo track down the elusive Sir Reginald to retrieve the equipment needed for their podcast.

    “Private Eye” captures the essence of the Bumperpodcast, showcasing its ability to blend comedy and adventure in a whimsical setting. This episode will have you on the edge of your seat, eagerly awaiting each hilarious revelation and unpredictable turn of events. So buckle up and join Natty Bumpercar, Aloysius J. Pig, and the enigmatic Private Eye on their quest to recover their podcasting equipment and bring laughter back to the airwaves of Coffee-Can Alley.

    You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

    Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar

    Podcast: Download | Embed

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe

    About This Episode

    In episode 430 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar introduces a peculiar new character to help recover the show's stolen equipment. After Sir Reginald absconded with all their podcasting gear, Natty hires a Private Eye (or "Pie") found through an old yellow pages directory. Aloysious J. Pig is bewildered by the Private Eye's bizarre vocal affectations, ranging from pizza delivery man to questionable accents to an unsettlingly soft normal voice. The episode features hilarious discussions about technology, phone books, and the Private Eye's various character personas. Despite the Private Eye's off-putting demeanor and confused identity crisis, he agrees to take on the case to find Sir Reginald and restore the Bumperpodcast to its former glory.

    Memorable Quotes

    “I live in magic world, magic land, if you will. I'm basically a pig wizard.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “The voice is like the ghost of a marshmallow that fell into a vat of honey that was eaten by a sloth.”

    — Aloysious J. Pig

    “You've really confused me, I don't know how I'm supposed to talk anymore. My whole career is ruined.”

    — Private Eye

    Topics: #privatedetective #stolenequipment #sirreginald #comedy #voiceacting #technology #yellowpages #disguises

    Featuring: Aloysious J. Pig, Private Eye, Natty Bumpercar, Producer

    Full Transcript

    Aloysious J. Pig: I'm feeling mighty aimless like your stoats too. I'm feeling pretty shameless like a prototoo. Uh, don't think I am blameless. Nah, man. Less, less, less. Yep. All of this is making me feel stressed, stressed, stressed. Who's that? Oh, no. This is where things usually go off the rails. Um, hello? Hey, who'd order some pizza pie, huh? What in the huckleberry hound? Who are you? I'd order the pizza pie. Who'd order the pizza pie? You called me up the pizza pie. I brought you the pizza pie. I, I, I don't know what's happening right now. I, no one here ordered any pizza pie and I don't recognize you and- Oh, you don't recognize me, huh? It's me, the private eye. Natty, I swear to you, if I could get to the door, I would leave right now. I do not understand what is happening. There are usually a lot of shenanigans here at the Bumper Podcast headquarters, wherever we are. Yeah. Yeah. But this is a little bit overboard. I agree. Who is this dude? I, I did, I don't know. I think, did you say you were a private, private eye? Yes, I did say that. I am not the private guy. I am the private guy. I'm a private, I'm the, the private eye. Okay. Okay. I, okay. Okay. I see what's happening here. Um, would you care to do a little splaining? Cause I don't, I don't know what, I don't know. You can, maybe, uh, tell me, tell me cause I'm in the room. Well, I've been feeling terrible that we haven't had a podcast forever because Sir Reginald stole everything. And I've been, and last week you guys seemed really sad. And so I was like, I got to get everything back. I gotta, I gotta fix this and I gotta make it right. And I didn't know what to do. And so I actually went, I found a yellow pages. What are yellow pages? What are you talking about? I, yeah, I forget you're young. So yellow pages before there was, uh, phones, iPhones and computers and Google and all, this stuff. If we wanted to find someone, if we wanted to like find anything, you had to go into a telephone book. What do you mean? It was like a book in the shape of a telephone or is it like, is it look like an, like a, like one of my mobile phones? Like, like this? No, no, no, no, no. Hey, uh, wait. And where did you get a mobile? Whose plan are you on? Are you on? We need to figure that out. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. No, it was just a book like a regular book that you would, uh, look through with words and it was all in alphabetical order. I don't, and there were, uh, people with their names and their telephone numbers and addresses and then it was also, uh, there was a section called the yellow pages where they would have, uh, businesses and stuff so you could find them. Oh, no, this sounds torturous. This has, it's just, how did anybody get anything done? I mean, at this point I have a hard time going from the couch to the refrigerator to, uh, to get a nice beverage. You know, that's a lot of effort for me. What I like to do is I look at my phone. And I say, hey, telephone. And then it, you know, and it's like, what can I do for you, pig? And then, uh, oh, no, I'm not doing it now, telephone, stop, it's okay. Your phone's doing it. But I say that phrase and, and, and then I say, please deliver me a nice, uh, delicious beverage, uh, uh, to the couch. And it does. Really? It's magic. It's basically, I live in, I live in magic world, magic land, if you will. I guess so, right? You're basically a pig wizard, uh, pig, pig, pig wizard. I've been standing here long enough, and I feel like you're ignoring me, so I'm going to say, hello. Wait, that dude's voice has changed. I didn't, is this your real voice? Can you, what is, what, what is your name? What is your business? What are you doing here? Well, people call me the Private Eye, but you can call me Pie. Wait, we're going to call you Pie? Like, like, P-I-E-E. What, why? I don't, I, Private Eye, I get. Pie, I do not understand. So, Pie is basically, I mean, it's just, you take, uh, whatever you want. You can have a savory pie, uh, or you can have, like, a, uh, a delicious fruit pie. I, I was talking about him. I was talking about him. Oh, you were talking about him. Yeah, not about actual pies, but, yeah. Yeah, okay, I get it. All right. I got confused. I'm hungry, if I'm to be honest. Yeah, okay, okay, ready? As you are. Okay, thank you. So, um, what is, P-I-E, Private Eye, what does the I stand for? You got it. You got the private, you got the I. The I stands for incredulous, incredible, intubatable. No, no, no, no. Intelligent. No, this doesn't. All the I words. I mean, it feels like you haven't fully fleshed out your character, and that's fine, but the I, I'm just, I'll call you Pie. Yeah. Or Private, I'm just gonna call you Private Eye. It's kind of ridiculous. So, my, my other question, uh, uh, Private Eye is, uh, um, your voice is very strange. Is that your real voice? Is that, is it some sort of an act? Hold on while I take off my costume! Oh! Look at me. No, now you look like the person in the picture. Now I recognize, yeah, okay, yeah, Aloysius, uh, this is the guy that I called, um. Okay, now I'm getting somewhere. So, um, he comes very well, um, reviewed. What's that, what's that noise? So, you know, I, I, I guess I'm gonna have to trust you. So, he, um. Okay. So, my other question, fine, now we know who he is, but the voice, it just seems, it, I don't know. Well, you are talking about my voice. That's because I am a master of all language arts. I, I guess I could see how that comes in handy in your line of work, especially with the whole costumes thing, um. Eh. I, I, would you like to hear my, uh, Russian voice? It's really embarrassing, Natty. I'm from the mother, I'm from Russia. Oh, no, no. You know, okay, let me help you out, okay? That's terrible. Like, that's really not good. You know, it's a dialect, but now you want to, you're going to hear my, uh, French, uh, my French, my French. Your French voice. Hold on one second. I just have to get ready. Ah, ah, ah. I'm French. No, you're not. No. One day, two day, Wednesday. No, no. This is a Thursday. Why are you doing the days of the week? What is that? Listen, Pi, can you, I, these voices are terrible and, and, and, and borderline problematic. Can you please just, what is your, can you talk to us in your normal, whatever, whatever your normal voice is, just, you know, like, we're just three, uh, people hanging out. Hey, in a room, and then you're going to just talk to us, okay? Okay. Are you sure that you want me to do that? Absolutely. A hundred percent. One thousand million. A hundred percent. We're sure. Please just talk to us in your…

    Private Eye: Oh, hi. Hi, everybody. Oh, no. Yeah, this is my normal voice. No.

    Aloysious J. Pig: It's just… No.

    Private Eye: It's just… This is… So, yeah.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, this is, that was, I actually, that made my skin, like, I, skin is crawling. Like, I feel like… Ooh. Somebody just threw cold water on me or something.

    Private Eye: Yeah, I get that a lot. You know, a lot of people, they say that, uh, my voice is off-putting. Okay. And I can't disagree with them.

    Aloysious J. Pig: I, um, am hesitant to do this, but I also, I have goosebumps. And, you know, you talk how you talk, and that's totally fine. You should be proud of how you, who you are and how you talk. Um, but maybe… Ah. Could we just do, like, a toned-down version of the pizza man that when you first came in, I think that would be maybe okay with, with, with me. Oh, you've had a shot. Here we go. Okay, thanks, thanks, thanks. Tell me if this is okay. I, it seems better, but just, you don't have to do, like, the, the affectations, like the tell, uh, me. You can just say tell me, and I think we'll be okay with that. I will work on it. It's difficult to… I… Pull my characters down. I've spent a lifetime building them. Okay, you sound, you sound like… Like what? A little bit like a robot in Sicily, which is okay. Look at, you know, Sicily, look at you. So, Natty, what did… Yeah, sorry. What did you, what did you hire this private eye for? So, huh, um, when we were at our storage unit, and Sir Reginald came, and he claimed all of our podcasting equipment, that was, like, a while ago. And we haven't been able to do the Bumper Podcast, and in theory, I have exciting news that's coming up, um, but it's not gonna happen if I don't have, if we don't have podcasting equipment. Um, so we need to, we need somebody to help us, because I've looked, I don't know how to find Sir Reginald. You know, there's, I looked through the phone book. That you looked through the phone book from, like, 20 years ago, and you didn't, you didn't come up? Did you, didn't he set his alphabet, alphabetical, did you look under Sir, or Reginald, Sir Reg, like, what do you… That, um, yeah, it's not gonna work. Yeah, the phone book is a good idea to… You, you're, you've become a real amalgam. I feel like you've gotten lost in, in your characters. You've, you've, you, you're maybe embarrassed of how you talk, and, and so you've created all these other characters to, uh, express yourself through? That's, that's, that's rough. It is, um, also a part of… Oh, no, I, hmm, I can't, like, it's…

    Private Eye: You've really confused me, I don't know how I'm supposed to talk anymore, how I didn't feel like… My whole career is ruined.

    Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, you know what, a lot of people who come on this podcast say the exact same thing. They're like, oh, I was doing so good in my career, and then I got booked on the Bumper Podcast, and then all of a sudden, uh, the phones, uh, stopped ringing, the doors stopped knocking, the people stopped coming, and everything. No. Went away. Come on. And so it's, we, I get it. I get it. That's not fair. There, there's, there's so many people who have been on the podcast who, who have just, you know, exploded into fame, into the stratosphere, into the universe. They've just gone on to be… Could you name, uh, one? Yes. One, maybe. Okay, um, one. Um, uh, uh, Peanut Lou, uh, was, uh, he was in a commercial for one of those, those beds that can lit… That can, like, lift up from the back. Remember that? It was like a cat bed, and it would lift, and it would get hot and cold and everything. Are they the Purrty Beds? Yes. See, Pig? He, he knows Purrty Beds. I totally forgot about Purrty Beds. What was their tagline? No. They'll have, oh, they'll have you feelin'. Feline. Feline. Fine. Yeah. It's just, I don't know, right? Fine. You got one. Purrty Beds. Feline. Fine. It, it was a lot of wordplay. A lot of puns. He did great in that commercial. Anyway, back to the task at hand. We need our podcast equipment. Private Eye over here is obviously a master of disguise and different characters, and hopefully has the detective skills to do exactly what we need so that we can get the show back on the road. You, you sounded like you were doing the build to the end of the podcast so it would end right at road, but you did, you missed it by like 40 seconds. Just, all right. Yeah. So. Try harder. Look at the clock. Um, yes. So Private Eye. You gonna, are you gonna do this for us? You gonna find Sir Reginald? Are you gonna help us get the bumper podcast back together?

    Private Eye: You're incredibly lucky that I'm gonna take this case on and we are gonna get things done. Okay. As I'm the best Private Eye than the whole of Coffee Cane Alley.

    Aloysious J. Pig: The voice is like the ghost of a marshmallow. That fell into a vat of honey. That, that would, that was eaten by a sloth.

    Natty Bumpercar: The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, we're here to help. If you want to support our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car. Also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Cane Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by us. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty bumper car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty bumper car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

    Producer: This has been a non-productive media presentation. Executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the non-productive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.

    Private Eye: This has been a non-productive media presentation.